Arc 7 Ep. 3: Mount Trunkus
01:33:59 Share

This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.

Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. Rotators! It's me, and I'm back to tell you, well...

Tell you it's Friday? No, that doesn't really work because you know it's Friday and that means there's a new episode of the Rotating Heroes podcast and we have a full episode for you today. Why do we have a full episode for you today? Well, I had an extremely busy week and I thought, you know what, why don't we give them a little treat to start a brand new month and I hope that you're doing very well. So, we have a brand new whole episode for you to listen to today. I hope that you enjoy this episode.

Once again, if you have just two seconds, please don't forget to leave us a review in whatever podcasting app you're using because it makes a huge difference and helps people find the show. And now presenting the Rotating Era.

Welcome back to the Rotating Heroes podcast. I am joined, as always, so far for the third time by the Rotators of the Seventh Arc. It is wonderful to be back with you all, and I'm going to hold you hostage here while I just sort of gaze at your faces and just, you know, take in this lovely Sunday where we all play D&D together and I'm continuously talking. From my left...

all the way around clockwise from me. We have the person who continued on from the sixth arc, who is enjoying a little anonymity as, I guess, Greg Sag. We have Sago Gleg, a.k.a. Dan Lippert. Dan, how you doing? What it is going.

What it is going, Zach? What it is going? What it is going. Continuing the tradition of me saying things that don't make sense, we have what it is going. What it is going, everybody. Everybody out there, what is it going out there in Patreon land? Patreon land is sort of like the matrix, except you support artists. Yeah, it's a supportive matrix. Yeah.

That's what the Matrix could have used. I feel like the Matrix was sort of a big monolith and there's not room for little Sentinels to have their own creative freedom. That's true. I would have loved to see a little Sentinel put out their version of podcasts. Yeah, it's sort of like a political commentary comedy podcast or something. What's the retin link of the Matrix versus a real world movie?

You got Mouse and Stink. Wow. Good, the stinky morning. Mouse and Stink. Beautiful. Mouse and Tank. Tank was a guy. Tank, yeah. Mouse and Tank, that works. They're both dead. Spoiler alert. Oh, shit. Fuck that. Shit, dude. I might have to cut it out. The movie came out in 2001. Moving right along, we have...

Another guest who's continued on from a few arcs and we're doubling back to them. We have the Loxodon Druid and his newly finding his hometown. We have Gribb, a.k.a. Jacob Wysocki. Jacob, how we doing? What's up? What's up?

- Shits bloomin' it's Sunday, the birds are singin'. - Shits bloomin'? - Happen to be here all the time today, and how are you? - I love this tradition that we've started of just sort of truncated, maybe just word soup. Today are you, today tomorrow today? - Today are you doing okay? - Yes, big up. - Big up. - Jacob, you just failed the, what's the test for robots to see? - Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.

Can you identify these stoplights? If a turtle was overturned in the middle of the desert, do not ask me that. You might make me answer that. Sounds like a human to me. Thanks for having me, as always, forever, and now. Beautiful. Thank you. The way you said that was really gorgeous. I think The Matrix came out in 1999, though. Same here as Baby Geniuses, because me and Will Weeks

Uh, we were on where it was rated R. So we were underage. I went and saw the matrix, but his dad, you know, dropped us off and picked us up in the theater. Yeah. And we told him we were watching baby geniuses. So on the drive back, he was like, how was baby geniuses? And I remember so vividly saying, you know, it's like rugrats, but live action.

-It was fine. Then when I got out of the car, Will said his dad just went, "You saw the Matrix, didn't you?" -That's funny. Oh my God. -I guess what's funny is that a pretty plausible take on what maybe Geniuses was like.

-It must have been performance not to take. -Right. You were hamming it up too much. -Yes, maybe. -Ask me to say a quote, sir. I can do it. -Speaking of hamming it up too much, JK, you ham it up just the right amount. -Thank you. Lots of ham.

-Blocks of Ham? -Goldilocks of Ham. -Goldilocks of Ham. -That's just right. -Yes, of course, the Goldilocks of Ham, the third participant in this arc. We have another Loxodon, but not a druid, a fighter. We have Uh-Oh, aka Rekha Shankar. Rekha, how are you? -I am G-O-O-O-D.

- Good. - Three O's. - Good. - I was like, how am I gonna do all the words? Soup y'all are doing. ♪ Tastes good though sun is hot ♪ - You deconstructed one word by just kind of cutting out. - Yeah, pretty cool. - I was afraid that you were just gonna go, I'm G-O-D. - I am G-O-double-D. - Wow. - Oh, cool. - Is that? Whoa, sick.

Well, it's good to have everyone back. And I guess we'll keep going with the story of Pompapumpa and how we're going to quell Mount Trunkus with this band of adventurers. So let's get started with a little recap. Last time on the Rotating Heroes pod, Sago, Grib, and Uh-Oh journeyed from the outskirts of the town to the heart of Pompapumpa.

There, they took a much needed spa morning as they got their bearings in town and found out how Pampa Pampa operated. Eventually, they headed up to the second tier of the city where they were promptly scouted to showcase their talents to the Nainumvirate, the stupidly named council that oversees Pampa Pampa. There, they found a lot of important information. That Pampa Pampa is run from a ceremonial magical glen above the town where spells and abilities can be greatly amplified.

and that a group of nine Loxodon are responsible for making all the decisions concerning the town. As Grib was hoping to find someone up here that had answers to his past, it seems like one member of the council went missing with the magical bronze spear needed to quell Pulphoros, the elemental god seeking to make its way to our plane via the volcano in Mount Trunkus.

The Council asked our heroes to enter the temple through the volcano to forge a new spear and hopefully save Pompapompa from the raging elemental god within. So that brings us back to where we are today. Okay, so you guys are heading up the trail to Mount Trunkus to hit this temple.

Lush is just giving you these potions of fire resistance. So, like, that will cut the fire damage you take in half. So that's pretty effective. And, yeah, that's where you are right now. Is that potion in my bag here? It is not. We'll just have to reference it. Yeah. No worries. Hey, no worries. It's just a huge fuck up, but it's fine. I fucked up. It's sort of just like an irreparable moment. Fuck off.

Huge. I'm good for walking, right? I'm good for walking. It's the potion of fire resistance. Are we all going to do our walking? On my D&D, yeah. It seems like we're really approaching a zone where we might all do our walking. This is happening as you are walking up the hill. Everyone's doing their different walking. Oh, wow. Walking up the hill. Don't. Yeah, we all misunderstand what walking up the hill means. You got the impression it was your spot. As the three of you. Well, we're going up the hill, I guess.

As the three of you are doing your walking impressions of why you're walking up the hill, you see this sort of figure just kind of rolling down the hill. It looks like kind of a humanoid presence just sort of lazily rolling down. Like how you'd roll down a hill horizontally? Yeah. Like a ball. Like Sonic the Hedgehog, right?

Horizontally. Okay. So they're taking it slow. They're having a little bit of a laugh. And as they get closer, they kind of roll to a stop and they're like, whoa. Oh, hey, uh-oh. Hey, oh my God. It's me, oopsie. Oh.

What the? Hey, what are you? I didn't even recognize you. You're covered with dirt. Oh, yeah. I'm covered in dirt. I was just kind of rolling down just because it felt like, I don't know, didn't have anything else to do today. And I just kind of wanted to go with the flow. Oh, my God. Incredible. What are you freaking doing here? Oh, you know, like sometimes when I like to clear my head, I just like climb up this hill and roll down it. Yeah.

I wish I had a better answer than that, but that's basically it. You don't need one. It looked like a true delight. Yeah. It seems like just a fun way to spend your time. What are you all up to? We're going to save the city. From what? Oh, you haven't heard? Is it the rumbling? It's the rumbling. That's what I was going to say. I was going to say, it's dangerous for you to be rolling down this hill. Oh. There's big trouble in Little Pumper Pumper. Wow. Is this the little version of Pumper Pumper? That's funny to say. Because this is just Pumper Pumper, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, don't look at me. I don't know. Who are you? What are you? Hey, I'm Greg. I like your feathers. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling pretty cool. I am totally shocked. My impression, I had prepared when we left where we last were to be in like a...

evil mountain. And I'm just so shocked to see you just rolling down having fun. I didn't know people still use this mountain. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't get evil till pretty high up or just, you know, scary feeling. There's like an evil elevation. I want to say elevation of 11,000 feet. Oh my God. That's the target in her. How cute.

Yeah. You know, you guys have to exchange some money with me for the real deal. But that's a little... Kind of a free sample. So tour guiding is like in your blood? I mean...

I mean, it's hard to say because our parents, you know, I don't know if they were intentional about what they wanted to pass on to us. But that's sort of what got passed on. You know, sometimes like brown hair gets passed down or something. Not the case for us. But tour guiding certainly got passed down. Gosh, I wish I had brown hair. I wish I fucking had brown hair.

brown hair. I just have these little tiny elephant hairs. Yeah. Little fuzz. This is sort of a situation. Wispies. I call them my wispies. Oh, that's a good name for them. The wispies. Yeah, my little wispies. Well, that's basically, I think I just have to keep going because I'm having a busy day. You sure you don't want to risk your life inside of a mountain that you called evil? Oh, I don't do that. It's not your thing. It's not my thing. Well, wonderful running into you then.

Wow. I love your accent. Thank you. Hey, oopsie. Can you just tell mom and dad, you know, hi from me? Just, you know. Yeah. Just a hi. Okay. Yeah. Have you figured out? I mean, look, I don't want to get too into your business right now, but like, have you tried dancing lately? More lately than you think. So pretty recently? Yeah.

Yeah, Nighon, I don't know, 15 minutes to a half a day ago. Yeah, probably a little, like, yeah, I guess, like, I don't know, two hours ago. Okay, probably Nighon two hours ago. Oh. And I flopped. Oopsie, I flopped. Oh. Yes. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Yes. Well, hey, that's tough. Yeah. It's never fun to flop when you dance unless you're trying to. That's part of the dance move. And I wasn't. Well, I...

You know, if dancing's not for you, I'm sure you'll find what's for you soon. I hope so, Oopsy. Yeah. Well, I'm going to do what I do best and roll on out of here. And Oopsy just sort of rolls down the path. You're beautiful! Thank you. I know. We forgot to get your walk-in!

You're walking impressions. She's rolling, though. I've got to keep on rolling. That's a Fred Dierks impression. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. What? Grib, like, quickly whispers to Saga, like, they may never see each other again. I had the same thought. Yeah, right. What are we talking about? Not a great goodbye, really. Yeah, we're talking about that.

Huh? Nothing. Nothing at all. Interesting to see the family dynamic. I was saying I see the resemblance. Really? Yes, yes. It's in the ears. They're big. Yes, they are. Is that a family thing or a thing known amongst your family that you haven't found your calling yet? Yeah, my parents sort of...

Don't talk to me. They sort of disowned me when I became a tour guide. They just don't like the lifestyle of a tour guide. Yeah, so we don't really talk. Wow. Yeah. That's devastating. Yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah. Do you know what it's like to just feel kind of separated from your family? Hmm. Absolutely. It's the hardest thing you'll ever have to feel. Yeah.

Are you struggling to close deals? Cold outreach is wasting the time of both the buyer and seller at every stage, especially when sellers are using shallow and outdated data. Your organization can overcome these challenges with technology that translates comprehensive, high-quality buyer data into real-time insights.

These deeper insights empower sales reps and teams to adopt the habits of top performers, which leads to better outcomes, like more pipeline, higher win rates, and larger deals. We call this deep sales.

And we've built the first deep sales platform with the next generation of LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Right now, you can try LinkedIn Sales Navigator and get a 60-day free trial at linkedin.com slash trial. That's linkedin.com slash trial for a 60-day free trial. Let LinkedIn Sales Navigator help you sell like a superstar today. Just go to linkedin.com slash trial and get started.

Getting the smile and confidence you've been dreaming about, all from the comfort of your home, isn't a total mystery with Bite Clear Aligners. Just don't be surprised if all your friends start asking, what's your secret? Begin by ordering your at-home impression kit today for only $14.95. Bite Clear Aligners are doctor-directed and delivered to your door. Treatment costs thousands less than braces, plus they offer flexible financing, accept eligible insurance, and you can pay with your HSA FSA.

Get 80% off your impression kit when you use code WONDERY at Byte.com. That's B-Y-T-E dot com. Start your confidence journey today with Byte. ♪

Yes. It's really hard. How about you? I am currently separated from the love of my life who I just reunited with 24 hours ago and immediately got fucked. And now here I am trying to save the world, or at least little pompa pompa on this mountain. It's just pompa pompa. What? Pompa pompa. Pompa pompa. What?

Did you two hear each other? You see their giant elephant ears kind of perking as they hear each other? Am I speaking too loud for you? Does it hurt you when I talk? Did you say pump?

oh god uh you guys head up the hill you travel for a little ways until as uh oopsie put it the air gets a little more quote-unquote evil and and it's not like evil in a like you know insidious feeling way it's just sort of like the power of nature is way more present of

More untouched. More untouched. There are these darker clouds that are forming around the top of the volcano. There's still a little more rumble of the mountain that hits every now and then. There's...

like whipping wind up here. It's like deeply uncomfortable. So when you walk into a store in a town you don't know and you're like, oh, these people love America a little bit. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's exactly like that. There's a bunch of flags for the idea of thunder and stuff. So they just took the normal flag and made the colors darker? Thunder, yeah. Oh.

These are serious flags. But as you hit this elevation where the temple entrance is, you see this large stone entrance with this great arching entryway. I think I kind of described it last episode, but it's sort of similar to the architecture of the town, but much more ancient looking. It's been here for a very, very long time.

As you kind of enter this area, there's a small doorway to the side that is less grand. It seems like it's more of the daily way to enter a place like this. That would be for something more grand to exit or enter. And as you approach this, everybody make a perception check. How'd y'all do? 14. 3.

Dirty 30. I mean, dirty 20. Dirty 30? Holy shit. That's dirty 20, I'm sorry. Terrible twos. I'm in my dirty 30s. Say what you did to it.

14. Uh-oh, you're just kind of thinking about Oopsie and just trying to find your... You're kind of in your head about that conversation, so you're a little less aware, but Sago and Grib, as you approach, you see kind of a form to the right side slumped against the temple wall. It looks like a pile of dust, and as you get closer, you see it just pop up a little bit. Grib.

There's a man under the dust. And you see this dusty, old-looking Loxodon man who has just been sitting here for a while. I am the forge keeper, and it has been my duty to stand here and wait for those who will reforge the spear.

The job of the forge keeper is simple. Stay here and wait to guide the heroes through this most dangerous place on their task. He like spits on the ground a little bit. Can I get you some water, man? Yes, I'm so thirsty. I give him some of my... He just takes your whole canteen and just starts drinking. Yes. Give me all your water.

He's looking around for more wine. I'm thirsty. I feel my pockets. I've been here for some time. I have a breath mint from the spa, from the test. I want it. Give me it.

If you suck on it, it can produce a little more saliva. He's crunching it. No, you should suck on it. I'm hungry, too. Generations after generations, the most grating Loxodon in town is chosen with this task. The most grating? Yes. The one who is... The most what? Grating. Oh, cool.

Uh-oh. He's annoying. Guide the heroes and be sequestered here completely. So what do you guys think of Thunder? Where do you fall on the prince? I like Thunder. It's very powerful. I'm not political. Yes. That in and of itself is a political choice. Oh my god, you're so right. Thanks for telling me. I'm all about it.

Did he just change you? Yeah, he totally changed me. Wow. Okay, wow. You say so. I'm also pretty curious. Alright, I think we can make our way through here. See you later, guy. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Wait for me. Help me up. Help you up? I do like the under the armpit kind of like how you help an old person up. Your armpits are what? Sore from the Old Spice.

Oh, I don't think that's supposed to make it sore. I think it's supposed to make it smell nice. Oh, I thought it was sore cream. Anyways. To make yourself sore. Yeah, that's what sore cream, right, is.

Right. You don't need to be using the Old Spice and the Axe spray. It's too much smell. What you do is you spray the Axe until it foams up your entire pit. And then while it's all foamy, rub a hot bar of Old Spice in it. Oh. The sores might be from a chemical reaction happening. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

This is going to be a long day. Well, follow me. And he gets a little key ring out and opens this door and lets you into the temple itself. Curp, I'm happy that we can fulfill your purpose. Look, I'm happy to have someone to talk to. You know, I've been up here for a while. Has anything cool happened lately? Any new music? Is there any sort of like... I came up with a new catchphrase.

A new catchphrase? Oh, wow. Winning. I love it. I thought it would be good for morale. We've already done it.

When would you use that? It's just like anytime somebody asks you a question and you don't know how to answer it, you go, winning. Or anytime you might look bad, say winning. You're like a Leonin, but if you were like a tiger person, like a Rakshasa, you would have sort of, I want to say tiger blood in you. Yeah, you would. Yes, sir! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Curp is just sort of like gyrating. Oh, yeah. You dance so well, Curp. I know. I've been dancing. I've been practicing in the dust. The energy is that of the Apollo Theater. Yeah.

Hey, maybe it's not that I'm grading. Maybe it's just I haven't found my tribe. This guy rules! I can do the sea walk. You clearly can't. Yeah, you can't. I think I know where all the dust came from. My bones. Curb, I think you're a beautiful dancer. I think anyone can dance if they just dance.

You know, I've seen some pretty bad dancers, but it's a degree to disagree. Oh, okay. Well...

Curp, are you aware of the dangers we might face? Oh, yeah. There's a bunch of horrible stuff in here. Curp lets you in. You are in this amazing atrium. It's sort of like when you come into the entrance of a museum almost, like this kind of domed cathedral-like central room. There are ornate carvings all over the wall, and it kind of has the glow of you ever see a salt lamp? It's very warm and kind of soft-feeling light.

emanates throughout this place. You see like big carvings of what is like

Clearly, Polphoros, like this like swirling tornado of lightning and fire just like towering over stuff. You see like a lot of carvings of loxodons, like kind of doing different kind of trade like skills around here. There's like people like, you know, in the wall, you see like images of people like pushing carts and hammering stuff. It's very beautiful, but also very old.

You also see in front of you one big massive door. It's kind of like almost like blast doors, it feels like, that break in the center. One door has the carving of Pulverus. The other one on the right has like a smaller carving of Alakson holding a spear up at Pulverus sort of like in response to sort of the legend around this place. I think Grib's happy to see so much like representation and it's got to feel good to just be like, oh.

Whoa. Here's all this like art of my people. Yeah. And, and, uh, history of my people. You see a curb just kind of spit some dust out on the ground and sort of like hanging up his mouth as he like gets it off. He's like, beautiful. Isn't it? Oh, gives a really long and boring description of all the art. Oh,

I know, I know. As you look around this place, you notice a couple things, and Curp even goes on to describe it. He's like, that is where the forge lies beyond those doors and pointing to the massive doors. The big doors. There's also like three tunnels off of this. And he's like, in these different rooms, you will find what you need in order to forge the spear.

I don't know really which one to go into first or it's kind of up to you guys. Of course you would. No, I- It's not like you sit outside of this. I really over, I thought about the first step and then I, I guess I, I really nailed it the first step, you know, but then I didn't really think about the rest of it. That's like with dance. Focus on the first step. And that's it. And that's it. That's why you're a bad dancer, I think.

Wait, how did you know I'm a bad dancer? I could tell. Just the way you walk. What? Is it because I'm tripping over myself? Yeah. Damn it. Make a dexterity saving throw. Dirty 20. Yeah, you're able to walk. See? Look at me now, Kurt. Wow, you must be a good dancer.

And I'm like, I think I know about loxodons, but I'm trying to figure out, are they bad at walking? Why would he be impressed that she just walked normally? It's a loxodon thing. You wouldn't understand. You wouldn't get it. All right. So I missed one thing. The three, whatever, tunnels here.

Why would we choose to go down one versus the other? Make, make, make a, like you can, you guys can make a perception check or investigation check any sort of check till I kind of parse this place. Uh, and when we go back around, just tell me the type of check you made and then the number you got. Investigation. Natural one. Perfect. 10 on insight. 12 nature check. It's a little hard to tell. This guy is not super helpful. Um,

And that's what you're really hung up on, Sago, is this disgusting old man that seems like no one in town wanted anything to do with him. Like, what is his job? Like, just extremely frustrating. I just don't get... So far, all you've said is that there's art on the walls and those big doors are obviously to protect. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't figure that out right when I walked in. Do you got any snacks? What are you hungry for? Something salty. Okay.

No, I saw how thirsty you were. I'm not giving you salt. But I had a bunch of water and now I want salt. Sent in Saldi to wash it down. Wash down the water. Is that how it works? I think this guy's just a bit of a coot. Give me a snack and I'll tell you something. You fucking... I hate this. You liked me for a second and now you're back to hating me. Wait a minute.

Greg, your pumpkin pants. My pumpkin pants? Feed him your pants. Well, no. I don't want to be naked. It could be the difference between life or death. It's off my body. It's not salty. Damn it, Greg. He just has like a bunch of bites of your pants.

Well, damn it, me. You couldn't have sweat a little in there? Well, why are we trying to be nicer to him than to me? He's got the data. Do we think he does? He might have it. He's certainly more than you, my friend. Okay, look, I'm going to break off.

I hate to say this. I know it's gross. I'm going to break off the part by my perineum because it's going to be a lot saltier from this long walk. It's a little sweaty. God damn it, man. I didn't want to say it. Your perineum. Fork it over. And you'll eat that? I'm bigger than a juicer. I look down and I look back up and he's got a napkin and a fork in his shirt.

All right. And I break off the part between my legs and feed it to him. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he takes a bite. Disgusting. Now I'm thirsty again. More water.

On the 12 nature check, Grib, you can feel the sort of power of this mountain. You know the forge lies beyond that, and that's where the power of the volcano really lies. But you do also feel that some sort of power kind of emanates from one of the rooms to the right as well. On the 10 insight, is that what you got? Yes. It's not like crazy.

like hard difficulty to spot this. Like there are these like kind of mind tracks in the place as well. Coming from one room. Uh, there's a few like kind of square pegs in the ground. That seems like you could, if you had something, uh, switch the, um,

track that it's on as well. And that, I think that's what you would notice off of this, but I don't know that you would get so much clarity off of those roles. Are there carts for the tracks? You don't see carts for the tracks, but you do see the tracks themselves. And the tracks are running through each tunnel or only? It's current. It's like currently justified so that it goes to the track to the left.

Got it. But does each option have potential tracks? Or is there a tunnel without tracks? Maybe a better way to put it? They do actually all have tracks that could go to them. I don't know that you would necessarily gather that much from that, unfortunately. It's just they all have it. No, I just wanted to see if they were... But it's currently facing the one to the left. Cool. Well, I mean, it's clear that we need some... There's going to be... We need to get some regents or whatever to make this thing. Yeah.

And according to what he said... He's like, he pipes up again and he's like, yes, you'll need the magical bronze bars in which to forge the spear out of. And let's see what else. You'll need some tools, probably. You probably need to turn the power on, that kind of thing. The power on? Yes. I mean, the forge is out there, but, you know, you have to run the...

sort of the path of lava to the correct spot. It gives a channel. Well, I think unless this man can point us in a better direction, we have to just forge forward. Forge. Sorry. I didn't even mean to. Truly, it was an accident. It's not that it's funny. I didn't mean to. Winning! Winning! Woo!

Can I say it too? I don't know if it's going to work. Anybody can say anything. All right. You guys head off to one of the rooms. I think we should go to the right. I think we should go through the right. Now, are there people working or it's empty? It's empty. It's empty? Yeah. I'm down with the right. Yeah. As we... There's two rooms to the right. One is glowing and one is not.

I think we should go to the glow. Don't you? Let's go to the glow. I'm going to clank my staff as we move forward and cast Pass Without Trace. Cool. As we enter. So you have this sort of like dulling, like you feel this spell overtake you and you are now able to move a little more stealthy. So yeah, make stealth rolls if you want. Yeah, I'll make a stealth roll. Just like so we can kind of enter cautiously. Yeah.

16. 19. 17. Okay. Yeah, you guys sneakily take a long roll for Curp. Curp got a 29. So Curp is...

Uh, this very grating, uh, figure is now suddenly, uh, not creating and not anything almost as you sneak into this kind of glowing chamber within this room, it's slightly smaller than the like main atrium that you were just in. Uh, but still a pretty grand room. You, you find that there are more signs of carvings on the wall, but like kind of through the like rumbling of the mountain, they've fallen off. Uh, it seemed like they were maybe at one point depicting like,

kind of what to do. Like everything seems kind of like signage in a way, but this has been short. It's not language. It's like, it's like, it's like pictures, like more like hieroglyphic, but that has been kind of shorn off by the shaking of mountain. There's like rubble below where one was, but you also see that there are these three large,

wheels on the ground that have these like pegs coming out like you like a person wouldn't like push them to turn them and you see beyond this that there's sort of like lava flowing down and and through this sort of like crystal like window that you can see the path of it it would stand to reason that this is like where you would uh divert channels and things like that this might be the on switch

Is this the on switch you were talking about, old crusty boy? One of them might be. I believe that maybe one of these, we need to put power to the main door to be able to open it and you want to put power to the forge, but I don't know, maybe there's other things this stuff does. Not for me. Too spicy for me. Is this the end of that hallway or does it go on

That's basically it. So we're seeing here that there's three wheels in front of you. There's three wheels and we don't know how to use them because the instructions are in the wrong. I think you would know that you still turn them, but I don't think you would know what they do or what they are connected to. Trial by fire? Let's do it. There's four of us, but three of us. I'll get to the Santa one.

I'll go to the right. Looking at them, you think you need everyone to use it. It's like they're pretty big. It's not like a one person. Let's screw that plan. We all try to do it alone and we just like. Not winning. Losing. So let's try the center one first. Cool. Try the center wheel. Everyone make an athletics check just to.

23. 10. 7. If I use my trunk, I can move stuff five times my strength. Cool. So, like, you use your trunk to an even greater degree. Uh-oh. It's like you both are kind of, like, pushing on it. Like, is this moving at all? Like, even with your trunk, you see uh-oh grab with her trunk and pull, and it's, like, that strong.

immediately shifts it a lot more like the uh oh's clearly very strong and you consider yourself pretty strong after you three turn that one you feel the wheel continue to move and move and then as it eventually moves lava diverts to a path and you see the silhouette and the crystal like there's sort of a crystal effect

window that you can see uh that would look dark before but as the lava diverts to this path you see that it has lit up a symbol that looks like the forge okay that seems good winning we went from losing so annoying ah winning

I'm so thirsty. Are we seeing, so this is lit up like a crystal that looks like the forge. Now are we seeing there's other things that could have potentially been lit up? Well, you know you have to open the big door as well, or power up the door to open. There's a switch on the door that you would eventually pull. But outside of that, there's two choices left. You don't know what the third one of these do. You mean the wheels? Yes. The wheels. Yes.

Sorry, did I answer your question? I think so, yeah. Do we feel like we need to turn these other wheels or do we need to go... Because we only need the forge open for now, right? You do eventually need to get that door open. Got it. Which other wheel? There's the left one and the right one.

Oh, I don't know, man. And if we stand over there, the left one becomes the right one, and the right one becomes the left one. Oh my God, and if we're upside down... I can't even think like that right now. I mean...

Yeah, I look around to do a perception check just to see if I'm, I guess, any clues or hints or anything like that from the art on the walls. Yeah, everybody make a perception or insight check. And if you want to do something with that rub, you can use spells and things too. Just tell me what you do.

18. 22. 24. These are all perception checks, right? Yeah. Yeah, you know, there's two options left. You know that the light lit up behind this kind of crystal spot that was dark? So it's kind of hard to see what the shape is, and even if you knew what the shape was...

may or may not be able to tell what that is. Is there a way to get behind it? How thick is the rock behind the crystal? It just looks like a wall to you. Let me know what you are trying to do. I want to teleport Zwan behind the glass, and he'll glow so we can see the symbol. Yeah, okay. So which one are you going to do that to, the left or the right? The right. Cool. Sure.

You teleport Zwom in there. He's like, hey, where am I? And Curp's like, is that me? You have the same voice. Wow, and they kind of middled out to the same voice. Zwom's like, I'm out there, but I'm in here. And you see from the glow of Zwom that this tunnel has what appears to be sort of a ram's head. And can I...

Bink him to the left? Yeah, you use Wom's... It's fiery teleportation. Fiery teleportation to bink to the other one, and that is a doorway. It looks like...

So we need to open a door for the lava to go through the forge. And the other one, we would kill a ram with the lava? I don't know. The other one is Ares energy? One seems like it's got a lot more room for error than the other. Well, but if we open a lava door that leads the wrong way... We're toast. We're toast. Perb? What's your name? Kerb. Kerb. Kerb. Kerb. Kerb. Kerb.

I talk like this now. You can't change your persona. He's got a new sense of enthusiasm. I heard how he sounds, and I wanted to sound cool, so I changed my voice. Okay.

I hate guys like you. Just be yourself. This is my authentic self. Where did you get a little bowler hat? I stole it from one of you. Hey, my fucking hat! Curb's like, I don't know. One's the door, and you're talking about doors. I think it's that. Yeah. So let's do the one on the left. Okay. And then I'll summon Swamp.

Back from behind the glass. Zvon appears next to you. Does a three-point landing. Sorry to startle you, buddy. I was trapped in there. Well, you're not. Hugs your leg. Aww. Is this your son? No, he's an extension of my soul. Oh.

Zom just sits with you. And then you guys try to turn the left wheel. I won't make you roll for this one. I think with the power of all three of you just using that same check, I think you're able to just open this wheel. And as you do, the lava flows behind the symbol that represents the door. And you hear it flowing into what would be the atrium. Hell yeah. Now it's up to us to find some bronze.

All right, so now we have to go back into the middle area and then pick a different path? I believe so. Yeah. Good work. Good work, everybody. That's a winning moment if I've ever seen one. I forgot to say, but I think that ram means that that would have been like one of the sentinels would have attacked you. Oh. I should have said that earlier. Wait, what's a sentinel? Oh, yeah. There's these ancient kind of protectors here. Yeah.

that it's sort of like a, you know, like magically forged,

It's like one of those sensations where they protect the mountain and it doesn't really matter who sides you're on. Yeah, like a security system. And are there more we should be on the lookout for? I don't know. Probably. Typically, I think if there's one, there's many. This guy's been like pissing me off all day. And now this thing is like, we put our lives at risk and it really pisses me off. I think it's like a part of myself that I don't like is like, you're just being lazy, man. Yeah.

He plays with his little bowler hat. I go into vicious... Andy stole my fucking hat and it looks terrible on him. So I go into vicious mockery. Oh. You really use vicious mockery on him? Yeah.

I'm just like really pissed. You didn't tell us that was a sentinel. We could have been killed already. You fucking idiot. You old loser. Nobody wants you around. That's why you're up here. Well, no, yeah, I guess so. I'm a loser. I don't like losers. I don't like that. You're a dusty, thirsty loser. If I had some water right now, I'd spit take on you.

No, you wouldn't. You would drink too much of it too fast. Look, keep me away from that guy.

I think this is, I think Grib's sort of looking and being like, this is the first time I've really seen this person. Yeah. You know? So you guys head into the atrium. You see sort of this path of lava kind of lighting up to where these main doors are. You see these other two rooms still available to you. Does Vicious Mockery, like, do you have to roll anything for that? Let's see. You kill her. Okay.

He must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 damage. A wisdom 14 saving throw. Nine. He takes how much damage? 1d4 psychic damage. He takes one damage. He gives you your hat back. All right, all right, all right. And I do the thing where I flip it from my hand up my arm. Fuck, that was awesome. I got a good sniff ability. Can I smell the dark room? Yeah, yeah.

19. Yeah. I like, I think looking at that tunnel to the right, you probably, you're sniffing around. You're smelling probably a lot of like smoke, a lot of, you're not like current smoke, like a smoky smell and smells like iron smells like maybe a little leather. Leather. That's what I smell like when I get too hot. Yeah.

Interesting. Oh, wow. My skin. Yes, yes. It does sort of heat up in an interesting way. Yes. Like wearing leather pants permanently. Saga, you're hearing as they move around. And you're noticing, whoa, they look hot. Well, I don't think we should. Oh, leather. I mean, that might be person. I know. That's spooky. Let's go down that one. The smelly one? Yeah, let's see. Let's see what we got.

Cool. You go into this sort of spooky, smoky one and you find this is sort of a smaller side room. You see that there's basically just like a storage room. It seems like it seems like we're all out of the smithing tools and things are located here. You see along the wall, there's just like old like hammers and things like that. Everybody just go ahead and make an investigation check.

Jesus. Hot for... 18. 14. Uh-oh, you're in here, you're looking around, you're like, clearly this is where all the tools would be that they used at the forge. You do on that 18 notice that there's this T-shaped crossbar that has this sort of like square peg at the bottom that you know that that is what they would use to change the tracks. Yes. So you see that. On 18, you also would notice that there's this like kind of nicer piece of like leather armor.

Grib on a four, I think you would notice that there's a cool little crowbar on the ground next to this column. I think that's basically what you guys would notice. Sago, you do, I think, off of Uh-Oh's check, you see that leather armor and it looks mighty nice.

Wow. I gotta say, as someone wearing a pumpkin in his underwear, and I think still a robe, but feathers, I wouldn't mind throwing that armor on. Look at this. I wouldn't be opposed. I think someone should wear it, certainly.

Do I need to investigate it to know how it can help me? Yeah, you find it. It's sort of like this leather armor with these kind of glamorous studs on it that are for protection but also shine pretty beautifully. You also, I think, would notice that it says something small on the corner. It looks like it might say, winning? Winning?

It's like a different language, but it seems like it says winning. It's an angel choir from above. Winning. On the back, really tight. Too tight.

I throw it out and I'm like, how's it look? Looking sniffy, my man. You look like I think you're supposed to look. And honestly, your shoulders seem lower. You just don't seem as tense because you're not sort of bearing your perineum. Your legs, yeah, they seem more covered and that's nice. Oh, yeah. What...

I'm going to grab, I'm going to have Zwom grab the, I guess it doesn't matter who grabs it, but I'll grab the crowbar and. The tea thing? You can grab that. I'll grab the tea thing, yeah. Cool. And then you would notice that there's like, you need smithing tools. Oh, I was going to say, I'll take the sort of general swath and bring those back into the main room and lay them like near the door as I'm sure we're going to come back.

So let's resolve a couple things. As you put on that armor, Curp is like, what did I say? Winning. As you say winning, you think to yourself for a second, like, gosh, this armor makes me feel incredible. Like, I'm... What? What?

As Sago thinks his armor feels incredible, what do you think he would think of as a type of clothing that felt incredible to him? I mean, he never felt better than when he was in the rocks suit from Ballers. As he thinks of that, the leather armor sort of

just shifts in itself and you are now in sort of a leather version of the suit from ballers so like a batman forever fantasy and is it plaid oh yeah is it plaid leather like the rock suit right now is plaid

uh it like it does look like the suit but as you touch it it does feel like leather uh and this is just you are wearing the glamored studded leather armor uh it gives you a plus one to ac as well as wam grabs that little crowbar you see a little like raptor like stone creature drop down like and slash at swan roll initiative

Seven. Fifteen. Ten. So this thing drops down on... It's like, it doesn't look very strong, but it swipes at Zwom. It rolled a 21 to hit Zwom. It hits Zwom for five damage. Okay. And you see this thing, it's like, intruder, intruder. Okay.

looking at, at Zwom. And Zwom's like, ow, everything sounds like that now. Sorry, friend. So whoever got the 15, it is your turn.

Sorry, it's like a magmatic rock sort of thing? It's just sort of like a rocky looking... It's like an enchanted rock kind of thing. I will cast Produce Flame. Okay. Does a 17 hit? Yeah, 17 hits. I'm going to roll 2d8, and then I get to roll another d8, so 16. Yeah, you Produce Flame on this thing. Even though it's in this sort of fiery place, you just nail it with this fiery spell, and it looks woozy and kind of worse for the wear. It's really fucked up by that.

And then Zwom will cast Flame Seed. Zwom, recently stabbed in the back by a little tiny raptor rock thing, turns around and is like, get off me, dude, and spits out a little seed. And he Critical Fills. And it just misses. Zwom fucking whiffed it with a one. So that was your turn. Next up, it is... Uh-oh. Great. I will maul it with my melee weapon.

Okay, that's a nine. Do you add anything to it? It should be like where it says maul. Plus six, yeah. Fifteen will hit. Roll damage. Actually, we don't even have to roll damage. This thing had two hit points. It explodes. I do a beautiful ballerina twirl and stab it in the center of my face.

With the maw, it's this big rock thing, crushes it, stabbing into it. It is completely unmade. You see little pieces of rocks flying everywhere. Quite surprising, uh-oh. The strength from the wheel and the killer instinct from the stab. Well, you've got to have thick, strong skin to be a tour guide. She laughs knowingly to dead silence. Curb's like, is that it, Joe? Um...

So yeah, you killed this thing. Uh, it does seem like that little spot was booby trapped when you, that was the investigation check. Uh,

But you're able to get the other stuff and get out of this area. Cool, let's head to the main room and then go check out that last room. Rock and roll. Kurt pipes up and is like, oh, can I see that leather armor? No. No, dude. All right. Why? I wanted to just have it. You wanted to wear it? I just wanted to have it. You wanted to have what I have? Yeah, I was seeing if I could wear it. Okay.

I really quickly just cast Prestidigitation and I create like a little version of the armor. Oh, wow. And I hit it till I go, there you go. That's awesome. Too small for me, but... Yeah, it was more like just... Maybe you could take this one and I could wear that.

Hey, Curp. Pushing it. Curp, watch out. You're pushing it. Curp is going to be just like, you know what? Thank you. I'm sorry about the bad blood. I don't think he's sorry at all. Winning. You proceed to the atrium and you see the tracks going to the last of these rooms outside of the main door.

And I guess follow those? Yeah, you better believe we're going to hit that last one. Hell yeah. So you follow these tracks all the way over to this last room. And you see that these tracks glide all the way into another smaller side room. But you see stacks and stacks of these bronze bars. They look like they have... I think you would know as a druid, you just feel like there's sort of this like...

There's something palpably magical about them. They're not just bronze. And there are these bars that, like, from the depictions on the wall, you see that they, like, melt these down for blacksmithing purposes. And you also would see that there's sort of, like, a blank... I think it's, like, a cast...

for a couple of things, but primarily you would notice that the spear cast is over here as well. Do we see any mine carts at this point? Yeah, yes. I forgot to say that you do see an overturned mine cart on the side. Yeah, make an investigation check on the cart or whatever. You could make a nature check if you wanted, I would say. Yeah, I'll just do an investigation. Ooh, a natural 20. 21. Woo!

We can say maybe I'm sniffing as well as looking to, like, add some flavor. Yeah, you're sniffing it. Like, something about your druidic nature pulls you to this. And on that nat 20, you almost get, like, this, like, ancestral memory of this thing. And it is, like, this very old cart. They look really heavy, too. And, like, they are designed to, like, move stuff around in this place. But the problem is that they are so heavy themselves. You notice that there's this sort of, like, engine-looking thing.

on the back of it that you would on a natural 20 know that like you see like some soot on it like you feel like if you empowered this thing with your druidic abilities like you use a spell or something it would lower the DC a lot to make it functioning like it's almost like when people have like an assisted bicycle that's like you know

And it's also overturned, so you'd have to write it. Cool. So I'll try and use my trunk to try and write it. And I just want to make sure. Is there maybe, when I look in the corner, a piece of cloth that's maybe like a red tie with the letters DK? Yeah.

- On it? - Yeah, make a luck check. - And is there like a hanging bunch of bananas somewhere? Maybe Diddy's kind of rumbling in a little barrel. - I rolled a three on my luck check. - Okay, yeah. There's a monkey skull. - Donkey Kong died here? - Monkey or gorilla? - A gorilla and a monkey.

And a funky and a cranky. There's a rocking chair made out of bones. Oh, no. Yeah, so I'll mourn the loss of a childhood friend. Friend? So you guys, yeah, you can. Hold a funeral for Donkey Kong. Also, you can like, I think you would all need to make a strength check to flip this cart. All right.

Dirty 20. Another fucking... I rolled another three, so four. Yeah, you're kind of... It's like heavy and unwieldy, but with uh-oh strength, you're able to... It's like when you're in that weird position. You're fucking jacked, man. Thank you. You're a fucking rip. Literally, thank you so much. Nobody ever says that to me. Your quads are huge. Those hammies. Thank you.

I'm just impressed by everyone's physique here. I'm just going to sit here while you guys do that. Off of uh-oh strength check, I'll say that you were able to load the cart with these bars and this cast and head into the atrium. I'm going to cast.

We load up the thing. I'm going to cast a level one burning hands into the motor to kind of jumpstart it. Is it more like an arcana magic? You're right. It's a spell slot to get this going. So you cast burning hands in this. You shoot like three blasts of fire into it and you see that it roars to life when you do this. And it's like chugging along and you can push it. You barely have to push it at all to get it to go. Purring like a kitten. Meow. Meow.

Yeah, the whole way. Curp is just like feeling himself. It's that. Yowie. Got it. But you head into that main room. Uh-oh, you see that the tracks don't actually go into the forge, but come into this room. And you have that tool. You can use it to turn and correct the pathway to the door. Right.

So you do that, and the doorway stands closed in front of you, but you see the path of lava that has powered it up. There is another spot to turn here to open it up. Curp stops you before you do this. He's like, before we go in there, it's going to get pretty hot. Get ready for some temperature changes. And if anybody has any water that I could have, I'm still pretty thirsty. Ugh.

Are we gonna burn? Perhaps say if we don't have a special kind of armor.

No, maybe, but I don't know. So that was three answers. No, maybe, I don't know. Yeah. No, yes, maybe. I drink my fire resistance potion. Yeah, yeah. If you drink your potions right now, that would be a guise of the time to do that. Are there multiples? I think we each have one. Yeah, you all have one. I see...

I see you drinking yours. And I like, like I knew that that was a thing. I'm like, me too. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Awesome. I give Swamp just like a little drop of my energy. But you got four? And I have like just finished mine. Yeah, we just finished.

I just said I was thirsty. That's fucked up. It was crazy. It tasted just like water. It was almost like a young Thai coconut. Oh my gosh. That's exactly what it was almost like. Did it not taste like a young Thai coconut? I'm making myself thirsty in real life by doing this. Yeah, so you drink those potions. You turn the crank. The door starts to open.

And as it does this, make a dexterity saving throw as you are immediately hit by a waft of hot air pushing you back.

Ooh, 20. 12. You are all able to stand this. Saga, you slip a little bit, but you're able to... Does Therp incinerate? Or Kerp or whatever. Sorry. Kerp actually stands strong. He's like, I like it. I like the heat. You see he's like, his body's smoking a little bit as he enters here. He's like, ooh, hot, hot, hot, hot. He's trying to like step on your heels. It's like when you're like, you don't have shoes outside of the pool or whatever.

Ow! You walk into this huge cavernous volcanic... I mean, this is like... You're in the atrium of the temple. This is like the atrium of the volcano itself. You're in just like the free-floating Mount Doom of Lord of the Rings-esque area. It's like lava below you, like 80 to 100 feet. Like straight heat cannons. Yes. It's like miserably hot. Like that level in Star Fox? Yes.

I don't remember it, but I'll take your word for it. Yeah. The lava level? It's exactly like it. The lava level in Star Fox. So sick. Yeah, it's so sick. But you see that there is this spindly walkway up to this raised platform that has this forge on it. You see that it has sort of a column underneath it coming out of the lava, and you see sort of like a swirling lava tunnel kind of powering it. And then you know that you activated this earlier. Cool.

The cart has to go uphill to get up here. And you know that you probably couldn't have done this without it upon seeing this. Let's tread carefully, my friends. Looking around, am I feeling like we're going to be faced with more heat and issues? Or is the first hit of it the brunt of it? I think right now it seems like...

it's hard to say that if you would know for sure, it does seem like there, this is like kind of a powder keg. Like there, anything could happen in here a little bit. Uh, I will, um, no, I took a little tuft of fur from my own hair.

my own main, and I use it to cast enhance ability on my two friends here and give them bear's endurance, which means they have an advantage on constitution checks and gain 2d6 temporary hit points.

Cool. So you guys get the benefits from that. Advantage on constitution checks? Yes. Do we roll our 2d6 for the plus? I would say yes. Unless we think it's better to have advantage on dexterity. Curp is going to pipe up and say, look, I know we're not getting along great. His head is just steaming.

And I'm woozy, but I know that sometimes shit flies around in places like this, so it's not so bad to be able to move around. So I switch that to dexterity and I give you cat's grace. Is there still the health bump? So that is, you no longer get the health bump, but you have advantage on dexterity checks. Great. And you don't take damage from falling 20 feet or less. Cool. And he's like, and thank you for doing it to me.

I act like I can't find any more fur. And you have alopecia. I have alopecia. Immediate alopecia. Cat's grace, more like cat's waste. Funny. I just look at her. True adversaries. Why not?

He like waltzes up to the forge. He's like, now that time has come, we must use the great forge of Pulfros to create the spear that will send him back to the world he came from and prevent the chaotic eruption that will destroy Pampa Pampa. I shall sing to you the praises of our people as you must forge the spear yourself. Pampa Pampa.

The song always makes me cry.

Let the beat up. Griff's getting emotional. He's never heard this, but he's heard this a thousand times. Don't wait for it to do it. Yeah. Let's get to work. Let's get to forging. So you go up to this forge. You see the spindly platform widens out into more of a circular platform that fits everybody. I'm sure it's really...

very loud. Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt, but before we like get too close, I'm like, if anything happens, leave it to me. This is my birthday.

Thank you! Thank you! By the way, if it's going to be a multi-person job, someone's probably going to have to work the bell or something while someone hits the blacksmith hammer. Great, if anything bad happens! Bye!

So you go out to this forge. You see that there is a place to dump the bronze and that it will like kind of filter into this bucket like thing that you can then pour into a cast. Grip takes his shirt off. Cool. Grip has his shirt off. I will say mechanically how this will work. You have to make a series of blacksmithing checks in order to forge the spear.

You can do other things like use your action on a turn to stoke the bellows and maybe grip. You can do something with your magic instead of that. If that would make a similar check, that would lower the DC. I'll tell you right now, the first DC of that's going to be 15. It's going to go up to 16 and there's going to go up to 17. Black, whoever has the blacksmithing tools, you can add your proficiency to it, but it will take an action.

So let me know who's doing what. And I'm going to go ahead and say, as you're in this chamber, you feel the whole place start to rumble. Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.

15 7 18 Grib you are hit by as the mountain rumbles rocks start to fly in the air and a rock hits you in the head for uh three damage like a hot like blazing hot is that the half is that with the half did you sorry you take half damage from this because of that I thought it was oh it's just fire resistance this is a rock so yeah so three damage

You take three damage from that. As this happens, you see more rocks flying through the air. Some of them hit the platform behind you, and you see they kind of uncrawl and are these little lava mephits, these little elemental beasts. Everything's going to sound like that today. And they are coming for you. What did everyone get on their initiatives? Fourteen. Three. Six. As the...

begins to rumble and you approach this forge, you see the mountain itself spewing geysers of lava. It's like kind of landing all around you. These rocks hit the platform you're on and then kind of unfurled to be these little lava mephits who are like snarling, talking like everything that I've made talk today. As those are around you, you...

see the forge before you. It's going to be a little tricky to try to do this while these things are here, but it also doesn't seem like, you know, this could continue to happen. Up first, uh-oh, you're the first in the initiative order. A fighter that has no spell. Yeah, you see your options. It's like, someone has to do something with the forge. Maybe someone has to handle these methods. Yeah.

Yeah. You can go either way on it, but it seems like someone's going to have to do one or the other. And getting this thing forged quicker than slower is probably the best thing. Okay. Maybe I'll try. So what exactly are my action options for the forge? Well, I will say that you can all use the blacksmithing proficiency thing. Oh, right. So your proficiency bonus at the top of your sheet, I believe it's like a three or something. Yeah.

Okay. So you get plus three and you have to hit a 15 on this first one. Okay. If someone is working the bellows, then you can do it with advantage. Okay. But you're at first, so that is just, it's a cold roll. Okay. You're like, what is a blacksmithing hammer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do a cold roll. Cool. Okay. Uh-oh. Just believe in yourself like the way you believed in yourself when you became a tour guide. Okay.

16! Amazing. 16. You see Uh-Oh kind of like... Everyone's dancing as Uh-Oh picks up a blacksmithing hammer for the first time and...

And it's like amazing, like perfect, like resonant tone of like an expert blacksmith hammer as this like liquid magma bronze like begins to take shape into this spear as hits that. Oh, I think that's your turn. It takes your action to do that. Next up will be Curp. Curp is looking around like Bum.

He's not going to do anything unless someone orders him to do it. He's like, what should I do? Should I... The bellows! Yeah, yeah. The bellows? Yes! Okay, and he's going to make a check to make sure that he can do it. It's just a low DC.

He rolled a 19, so he's working the bells successfully. So next time you do it, you'll have advantage. After Grib, you're up. Oh, no, sorry. It's the Mephits. There are four of these little Mephits around you. They're these very goblin-like fire elementals. They are going to go to each of you and try to take an attack. First one runs up to Grib and...

does a fire breath. They all have this too. You make a dexterity saving throw, Grib. Cool. I have advantage, right? Yes. Eight. Bad rolls. Bad rolls. So you're going to take nine fire damage, halved to four because of your potion. Next up, actually everyone, they go up to everyone individually. Everybody make a dexterity saving throw. So we got Grib's out of the way, but everyone else as well.

With that, you don't take any damage. 11? 11 is the DC, so you pass. So you're only going to take half of this. Half, half, because you have the fire resistance potion as well. So it rolled a 3, so half of that would be 1.1. I'm going to say you take 1 damage on that. And let's see how Curp does. Curp is just going to get hit for it. Curp takes 7 points of fire damage. Like, ahhh!

It's kind of hot in here as he gets blasted by a gout of fire from one of these little things. That is the mephits' turn. Up next is Grib. Are all of the stations of the forge now spoken for? Currently, they are managed, yeah. Okay, great. Curb's pumpa pumpa blowing into the bellows. You said I can use this spell to lower the DC of...

Well, now that that Curp is doing it, I think that's you could use your turn to do that and like really stoke it. And that would be less people are handling the methods. But yeah, you could squeeze in there and also do that to lower the DC. Okay, cool. And are the methods like kind of are they situated in a way? I'm just going to ruin the mystery here. Are they situated in a way that I could use tidal wave to kind of hit and push them back? Not without hitting your people. Okay. Yeah.

You could maybe do one or two, but I would say you can't knock off all of them without making everybody make a saving throw. Okay. I'll cast Scorching Ray, second level. So that's four attacks total. I'll just roll all my hits at once. So at a second level, you send four? Great. Cool. Let's see what happens. I'm just going to roll four hits if that's cool. Yeah, yeah. 20.

28. Hit. 27. Hit. 17. Hit. Cool. They each get 2d6 plus a d8. So it's 11, 15, 12, and 12. So they all get hit for those various amounts of damage. All of them are still standing. Zwom will fire at one of them. Zwom?

Zawam looks at the one closest to, I would say, Karp, because he's just badly wounded by this one. And it's going to take his attack. Tell me what it gets. 19 plus 7. It's a hit. For sure a hit. 15 damage. So that first method blows up. Zawam just shoots a hole through his head with a lava seed. Zwoom!

Their weakness is lava. As that one dies. After that, there is another lair action. Everybody make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, not 20, baby. Not 20. Dirty 20. Dirty 20. Okay, you both pass and don't take any damage from this. Nice. Eight. Eight? Okay, you're gonna get hit for...

Oh, only one D6 of damage. So it's only one damage on that D6. I'll roll for Curp. Curp also takes four points of damage. Curp has been hurt.

He's been hurt a little bit. He's like sweating like... Continuing his song. Sago, sorry, I skipped your turn. Back to you. So seeing that we have... I kind of heard this from before, but O is on the forge and Curb is on the thing. Can I like offer a...

Like, hold my turn for them? To help them with the forge? Yeah, yeah. Like, can I give them my action or anything like that? To do multiple things? Or to, like, to give help to, like... Like, to give a... Oh, what's the word? I guess O already has advantage. Yeah, I'm trying to think of what makes sense. I think, like, if you hold your turn, I will say... And, like...

What do you want to do on her? You know what? Here's what I'll do. I will cast the cantrip of Mage Hand. And if I can, I'll have a hand floating above our heads to catch the falling stuff. To see if it can. Yeah, I think that will... Mage Hand is only big enough for one person, but you can lower the DC for one person to be hit. Okay, cool. So...

If you want to pick somebody, yeah. Huge brag. I guess I'll put it over Uh-Oh only because if... You don't want to interrupt. Yeah, interrupt the work. Cool, cool. So you're like kind of helping protect Uh-Oh as Uh-Oh is doing this very vital work in the moment. We're working together, we're doing it! I don't know much that I could do, so I'll just hold my bonus action. Cool.

I think it's wise to hold on to those bardics. But yeah, it is now back up to uh-oh. So I'm going to keep working on Forge. It's now a 16 as you slam away on this spear. You have advantage now from the bellows. 18! Woo-hoo!

It's this sonorous slamming of metal as a perfectly slams into this spear crafting like a master craftsman. Beautiful. I do it for the theme song, but all

Ballers. Yeah, yeah. Ballers. Talking about ballers. You all know it. It's deals and cash in Los Angeles Boulevard. Uh...

Curp is positively melting at this point. After Uh-Oh's turn, that's two successes. You need one more to succeed. There is going to be another two mephits fall from the sky and land on the platform. So now there are six mephits around you. These two mephits are going to take an attack on Uh-Oh and on Grib. Oh, I'm sorry. You two have to do a deck save as they do their lava breath.

Stupid. Okay, so you both pass. You're going to take half from this. Actually, a quarter from this. Five damage quartered, so that's one.

So you both only take one damage. That lava potion and the cat's grace is coming in handy here. After uh-oh, we are to Curp, who's going to just keep using his action. Pumpa, pumpa, pumpa, pumpa, pumpa, pumpa. Blowing into the bellows for this. After that, it is the other method's turn. It's kind of weird that I did two different method's turn. So they're going to try to roll d6s to see if they get their lava breath back. Two of them don't.

None of them do. So they are going to do regular attacks. Freaking losers. Idiots. I'm not a loser. You're a loser. Stupid little rock boys. And we are bigots against losers. That's the only thing it's cool to be bigots against.

Oh, wow. Okay. One of them pops up to you and it's like, I'm not a loser. And he scratches you with a nat 20. Uh, you, but they're not super strong. Uh, so, but wow. He connected. He hits you for 10 damage. Uh, with that. Oh my God. I was just trying it out. Plus, um,

plus one fire damage so 11 damage to you and another scratch goes for Curp another attack hits Curp Curp takes seven damage Curp's looking really fucked up after that they all they missed the other two attacks we are back to Saga Saga it's your turn again

Or Grip. I'm going to cast Produce Flame on one of the little rock men. It was my mistake, but I just realized these guys are immune to fire. So going forward, they will be immune to fire damage as they are emboldened by the volcano on this turn. Starting this turn. Interesting. Great. I look at Curp and I...

I cast Cure Wounds. Cool. First level? What level? Yeah, first level. He will heal for 9 plus another d8. 11. 11 total? 11 total. Cool.

I don't really have a bonus action. Cool. I mean, you can maybe position Zwom and kind of in the way or something like that. I don't know. Yeah, I'll put me like Zwom between the Forge and the rest of the people. Yeah. Cool. And then I'll end my turn and I'll, yeah. After that was Grib. After Grib, we have Sago. This isn't that important, but did I get like a bat?

before you have a bat I will say that will be your Louisville slugger that you took from your house that one of your two possessions you brought with you I'll say that that is like do you have like a rapier I'll say it just has the same stats but it's not slashing it's blunt good yeah

So I pull out my Louisville Slugger and I look at these little rock monsters. I guess the one closest to Uh-Oh since she's using it. Cool. And I take a big swing. Hell yeah. So you swing at this guy, roll your attack. And that's a 15. Check. Check.

Seems close. Yep. 15 hits. Great. So batter up. And I take a huge swing. D8 plus two. And do six damage. Ooh, that one is hurt for 15. Oh, this has one health. Dang it, dude.

And you see something flash in his eyes as they were sort of powered up by the volcano and that made them immune to fire. You also see something else is going on as like maybe something will happen if they die. I'll say you notice something like that. You do anything with your bonus? I guess, can I use perception check or is that an action? I'll let you do the perception check. I'll try to see what was happening in its eyes there because that skewed me out. Just a creep. Yeah.

Yeah, it seems like they're seeming kind of unstably charged. So it's something about when they die, they might have some sort of... Something might happen that might hurt you. I'm worried these guys will explode when they officially die. So kill them far away from us or not at all? Okay, good to know. Cool. After that, just the top of the round, everybody give me a dex save again.

And you guys do those with advantage. Dirty 20. Dirty 20. 18. Really good rolls from everybody. It looks like everyone only took one point of damage except for Curp, who got kind of smacked. He took another four damage. So Curp is still better because of your heal, but still he's like approaching where he was before you healed him. After that, it is Uh-Oh's turn.

I shall take my third attempt at this forge. It is now at a 17. You're rolling with advantage. Fuck, 11. Okay, you are unfortunately unable to do it. We have these two methods that go right at you. They don't get their breath weapons back. They're going to roll two attacks. One's going to hit Zwom with a nat 20. Fuck. Zwom takes seven damage from that. Copy that. The other one misses. Misses.

That's a smaller group of methods. After them is grip. I'm going to cast guidance on uh-oh. Oh, yeah. How does this manifest itself as you help? I want to use my tusk to blow the sweat off of their brow. Oh.

Yeah. You feel like a gust of air blow it. Just like a little cool off, you know? The heat was probably what was fucking young. Yeah.

Cool. And I don't really think I have a bonus action. I just want to make sure I can't do anything with Swam. I'm going to teleport Swam, like, further back to try and taunt those dudes away. Okay. Is that geographically viable? I think that makes sense. Yeah. I'll say that there's a little bit of an open road further down that Swam can make the jump there. Yeah.

Give me an intimidate check or some kind of persuasion check for Zwom. I think it'll just be a flat roll. Yeah, it's just a nine. Okay. Yeah, Zwom's like, over here. Over here. Fuck you. Okay. This doesn't really work. They're just not even clocking him at all. After Zwom and Grib, we are back to Sago.

I'll try to lift up one of these guys and just throw them really far. Cool. Like a baseball. Yeah, like a baseball. I might even lift him up and swing my bat to hit him. Louisville Slugger! I'm going to say, like, if you want to hit him off, we'll just flavor an imposed athletics check, like you're batting a person off. So make an athletics check, and I'm going to make one for one of these methods. Okay.

14. They rolled a 10, and they have a negative one strength, so you are able to bat this fucker off the edge. Yeah, we're eating peanuts in this game. Winning! You see a method just splash into the lava.

As the lava continues to rumble more and more and more. Then I'll use, unless this is related to that. I'll use my bonus action to cast another healing word at level two spell slot on Crub or whatever his name is. It's Crub. None of us refuse to remember it. He's so abrasive. Michael? I don't want to know his name. It's not Angela Merkel.

Actually, I'll use a first level slot for that. That makes sense. Which is 1d4. Okay. If I'm rolling it, or is he? You can roll. Great. It's 2. So he gets 2. 1d4 plus your modifier, right? Oh, is that? That would be great. Your wisdom, or your charisma, or whatever. Your spellcast. Healing word. 1d4 plus your spellcast. Yep, you got it. So that's 5 total. Okay, Kerp.

reinvigorated you guys are my best friends okay cool so you heal curb a little bit he's just like pumping the uh bellows away after uh saga's turn it's the layer action again everybody make another deck save as lava and rock spew from within this atrium not 20 hell yes dude 13 cool

Nat 1. Okay. You are going to take... Soggy, you take 9 points of damage from this. After I hit that rock off on the slide.

doing like celebrations swinging the bat around just like really excited by how far I hit it and totally got knocked just like it's like um that like moment in a movie where they're like he did it and then just like it's killed in a sad war montage or something uh so you get nailed by like a fiery rock ow uh uh

Uh-oh, you take three points of damage from that. And Grib, you're safe. I'm going to roll for Curp. Oh, Curp got an 18. Curp's good. After that, we are up to... Uh-oh. Uh-oh, you have Guidance. So you get to add a d4, is that right? Yeah. So roll your two d20s and then add a d4. Nine. 15 plus...

You have to roll the d4 and plus... You have to roll the d4, yes. And also, is it 15 on the die? Yeah. Have you been adding your proficiency? I have been in the past. I just don't do it now.

Dex, right? It's just your proficiency bonus. Oh, my bad. My apologies. Plus three. Okay, yeah. So 18. So you got it. You don't even need the guidance. Woo! Woo! But we know the guidance helped. Yeah, yeah. I kind of still felt it. I felt it. You needed the chill out. Yeah. With one last slam of the blacksmithing hammer.

You feel this blast of druidic energy almost as this kind of glowing bronze spear stops glowing and it seems like it magically cooled fast and you see this really, I don't want to say plain, but unadorned bronze spear that is almost fancy in how simple it looks. Sort of like modern-ish.

Yeah, it's a modernist take on the bronze spear. As you take the spear from the forge, you look around, you see these little mephits around you. They're kind of blocking your path. You feel the mountain continue to just rumble as something is starting to rise from the lava itself. You feel like the whole chamber is shaking as you see...

this form starting to come out of the oozing lava. You're in a, Kurt pipes up and he's like, we gotta get out of here. Hurry. And points to the cart. You guys make an athletics check to like turn the cart around and get out of it. 24. Natural 20. Oh, you see what looks, it's easy to, there's so much smoke and fire. It seemed like the rock himself just writes,

The cart. This is about drive. This is about power. Starts pushing it. It's about drive. On those high rolls, you're all able to pile in. Curp just falls in, hitting his head on every corner. And you are able to plow over these mephits, just getting knocked into the lava as the lava continues to rise and the mountain itself continues to shake.

You are going forward out like the tracks are going downhill from where you are right now. And you see that

As you are plowing through them, you are flying down this path through the rumble, like dodging lava and rocks and stuff. You fly into the atrium as these doors are closing and close behind you. Do we get a good look at the lava thing as it's closing? Or does it form more where we can get a better idea? You see what almost looks like the top of a head coming out of the water. It's crowding! I am crowding.

You're reverberating through the world. You see, as this is closing behind you, the lava is rising to the door itself. These doors are shutting in sort of this emergency fashion. Everybody make a dex check with the cart to see if you can jump the tracks and just keep going out of here.

Is this different than saving? Nat 20. Oh. Fuck yeah. All right. I will say that on Uh-Oh's Nat 20, you're able to fucking skateboard trick

pop the cart off the tracks and fly. Infinity flip, dude. Impossible. She does like such a beautiful, like amazing dance, like a Beyonce. A swirling Beyonce dance. It's something to behold as, uh-oh, like kicks the cart in such a specific way that it bounces to tracks and flies out the door of the temple, bursting through that door that, uh, Curb, uh,

unlocked earlier. My door! As you continue down the mountain on the cart, sliding all the way down the hill into the town, you find yourself next to the... Like, skidding to a halt next to the glen itself. From there, you see all of these worried druids and centurions all looking up at the mountain itself, taking preparations to try to, like...

do something about the flow of lava that is impending um as you get to this glen where you know you have the like conversation with the 900 uh you see loche there with like a few of the other uh counselors they have the spear they have it uh and then you see this older like as you get into that sort of magical glen into the runic area uh this older loxodon pushes through the crown it's like quickly the spear give it to me uh everybody making an insight check

16. 26. 20. On those high insight checks, especially at 26, you would notice that this person who stepped forward to talk, especially from your druid magic, is not breathing at all. Is he recognizable as one of the former... He looks like one of them. Yeah. Maybe he's not breathing. He's not? He's dead? Is this your...

Quickly, give me the spear. Do I trust him? Do I trust Sub-Dead Man? Don't trust no one! You think that this is really weird. This is not a good thing. This is definitely not a good thing. I take the spear and step on the circle. I do not give it to him. As you go to do that, this man steps backwards into that area. You see that his skin kind of peels away with this sort of hologram. He...

You see the form of his body shimmering and changes revealing this sort of dull metallic skin with bronze veins that you would recognize as sort of the look of the obelisk that you fell out of. Ooh.

You see this metallic looking warforged man with a elephant like head standing before you. As he steps into the runic circle, his head begins to whirr and his elephant like head takes off of his body and peels away and starts like floating around like a drone.

His body, headless, now standing on the runic circle as well, like a fucking transformer, a bronze head pops out of it and he looks to you all and he says, with fine elven features, on this crazy, futuristic-looking Warforged body, if you do not give it to me willingly, I will take it from your lifeless hands. And then a burst of energy happens on this runic circle. Everybody make a dex save.

Jesus Christ. Do we still have advantage or no? There was an hour. You would. Yeah. 16. Oh, another nat 20. 21.

19. I really am feeling on fire right now. Holy shit. Okay, so 19, 21. 16. 16. You are all able to stand your ground as this blinding lightning of bronze light shocks through this man. As the lights dissipate, he is now standing 20 feet tall before you. All of the trees in that shake have blown over.

They are rolling down the hill. There are no more trees in this glen as the maroons depower themselves through some sort of magical presence of this town. You almost feel like on that nat 20 that they gave you their power in order to protect you in that moment as this blast erupted around you.

You see this horrifying elven bronze Warforged man standing 20 feet tall before you. Let's roll initiative as we end the episode. Whoa. As Grib rolls initiative, he looks and he goes, I haven't been this nervous since my first college job.

but it doesn't say what it is yet. Which was? Oh, you'll see. What's it gonna be? What's Grimm's first college job? Oh my gosh. Oh, wow. Huge reveal coming in the finale of the arc. Well, that was the third episode of the seventh arc. Thanks for listening. Let's go around one time for plugs real quick. Dan. Hey, everybody out there in Radioland. It's Dan Lippert Kuhl on all social media.

Hell yeah. At Jacob Wysocki. And I have a new podcast coming out April 7th. It's called Never Heard of Them. It's with me and Ahsan Williams where we're talking tunes and listening to music with friends. It's going to be on the Flaggart Ones Patreon. Check it out. Hell yeah. I'm Rekha Shankar. Follow me on Twitter at Rekha L. Shankar. And if you haven't already, catch Grand Crew on Hulu. Give us those little ratings.

Give them the little ratings, please. It's a multiband time. I'm Zach Oyama, and I'm going to plug the podcast you're already listening to, Rotating Heroes Podcast. That's been it for this week. Listen next week for the Arc Bark. Thanks.