KK Fit Twins On Their Mental Health Transformation, From Extreme Dieting to Intuitive Eating, Binge Eating Struggles, Finding Self Love & Redefining Fitness
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Mari has grown her to fitness and nutrition brand. Co-founder of Bloom Nutrition. Forbes 30 under 30 list. A successful entrepreneur. Someone who has lost 90 pounds. Today's guest is Mari Llewellyn. Mari Llewellyn. My friend Mari. Welcome to the pursuit of wellness.

Hi guys, welcome back to the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Just a reminder, there are new episodes every single Monday. Tons of you listen, but only a small percentage subscribe. So don't forget to hit that button so you're notified every time a new episode drops. I don't want you guys missing any of this good info or any good conversations. So in honor of Mental Health Day tomorrow, I wanted to bring on two highly requested guests.

Kat and Kendra of the KK Fit Twins. They are two OGs in the fitness industry. Many of you may know them from their heavy lifting as well as their extreme bulking and cutting phases. They've gone through many different physique transformations. However, their content has really shifted over the past year. They underwent an intense mental health challenge and have found a new approach to fitness after going through so much.

I have gotten to know them personally and heard a ton about their story. I really, really resonated with them. And I really appreciate the girls for coming on the show and being so candid with me today. I know it's not easy. We got really deep and really honest. They were so real and raw. And I know so many of you are going to relate and gain a ton from this episode. We're

We talk about transitioning from extreme bodybuilding to a more intuitive and balanced approach, mental health struggles as public figures, struggling with identity, cutting phases and caloric intake, a relationship slash engagement update, which many of you asked about, skin, Gymshark, and so much more.

With that said, I do want to give a trigger warning. On this episode, we discuss eating disorders and mental health struggles. I am going to link resources in the show notes if you are struggling with either of these things. Mental health day is coming up and mental health is such an underlying theme of the show and has been an underlying theme of my whole life. So I'm really, really happy that we are talking about it today in such a candid way. With that said,

Let's welcome Kat and Kendra to the pursuit of wellness. Today, I am honored to be joined by two amazing, strong women for their first podcast ever. Kat and Kendra, also known as the KK Fit Twins. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Ma.

Not a same exact thing. You guys listening probably know these two as the KK Fit Twins. I've personally been following them since the beginning of my journey in 2017. Holy cow. Now we've become IRL friends. IRL. Which the followers are really excited about. You guys are OG fitness influencers, Gymshark girlies who recently transitioned from an extreme bodybuilding lifestyle to more of a wellness approach.

approach which I really really love seems like you guys are really prioritizing self-love mental health hormone health I think so many people listening are going to relate every time we get into our chats I'm like I cannot wait to get on the mic with you guys same so let's start please introduce yourselves so everyone listening can differentiate the voices I am Catherine I'm

- I'm Ken. I don't know if you're gonna be able to tell that much of a difference in the voices. I feel like people think that we have an accent. - You kind of do. - And I feel like we both kind of like have the same like voice and tone, but. - I feel like, so Kat's talking right now. I feel like my voice is a little bit raspy at the moment.

People have said that my voice is like a tad bit deeper than Kenny's, but. That's how we'll differentiate. But also a lot of people watch it on video so they can tell by the outfit. Okay, amazing. Cats in the black, Ken's in the neutrals. The creams. Thanks for differentiating, guys. Love it. So let's,

start all the way at the beginning. I want to hear how you guys got into fitness. Like, why did it interest you to begin with? And when did you start? I guess I will start. This is Ken speaking. So we both played soccer for about, I played personally for 17 years, played a little bit through junior college. You were dating a guy at the time that...

Was like into lifting. And so I, when I was playing soccer, I blew out both of my knees. I tore my right and my left ACL when I was like, okay, I feel like this isn't something that I can like sustain, but I like want to continue being active. I remember at the time, like even in high school, we were like just straight cardio bunnies. I remember even back then, like even when we were playing soccer,

soccer, we were always kind of intrigued with the fit look. And we were good at playing soccer, but we also wanted to like kind of look the part. And that I feel like that can go back even further disregarding like body image, like when you're younger and whatnot. But that's when going back to what Ken said, that's when we kind of got into lifting. I was scared to lift just because I didn't want to get

Like, too muscular or too bulky, as the kind of stereotypical girl goes through. And then I was, like Ken said, dating a guy who was into lifting and kind of, like, showed us the way. Yeah. And then we fast-forward maybe, like, two or so years. We had the lifting part down, but we didn't have the nutrition part down. And it was...

kind of like a rat race. We're like, we're in the gym working out so hard, but nothing's really changing all that much. Like we're getting stronger, but physically we just kind of like look the same. But I feel like during that time too, like we felt like nutrition wise, we're like, okay, like eat less, eat less. Like we wanted to like lose weight. Like I feel like we were kind of like in

in quotes, like skinny fat. So we wanted to like lose weight, but we also wanted to like build muscle. We just didn't know how to go about it. So transitioning, we're like, okay, like we need to change something. So we started doing research. And I remember we were looking, was it Paige Hathaway? Was she? Yeah. Like fitness OG. I saw her at Air One the other day.

What, in LA? Yes, I freaked out. I feel like I wouldn't really fangirl over many people. I would be like, I would be sore struck. I was, and I said hi. And I was like, you're amazing. I didn't know that she lived here. And she looks incredible still. How old is she now? And she's a baby. She's a baby. I know. But yeah, she was an OG, for sure. And that fitness era was like a whole other thing. I know. I remember we looked up to...

I think it was Paige Hathaway and then Jessica Orvilleau at the time. Yes. Which she was doing bikini competitions and stuff at the time. Like we were super into the...

attracted to like the super lean like muscular look yeah but we just didn't know how to get there yeah I know well it is confusing when you first start and I also came into the industry when it was like the bikini competitor era and I remember following Miss Olympia Miss Bikini Olympia at the time and just doing everything she did which has its own problems in itself but it does kind of teach you about nutrition were you guys ever interested in competing or it was simply for

passion. It's so funny because I feel like we've we had always been super passionate about lifting and just overall fitness outside of competing and then there was this lady who she was like some jacked bodybuilder at our gym her name was Patty and she had we had talked with her a few times and she was like you guys should compete we're like oh no whatever whatever and

And then we'd see her again like, oh, you guys should compete. We're like, okay, like let's just try it and see kind of like what can happen. And she gave us like a meal plan, a workout plan. I think we did it for a week and we're like, no, I'm not. I feel like it just, it really just took the fun out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. It's very structured. Yes. It was like too much pressure. It makes it a job. I remember literally only being able to eat like

sweet potato, chicken, tilapia, and asparagus, and maybe oatmeal. And 12 almonds. It was just insane. It was super specific. Yeah, it was insane. Which I get it. If you are competing and trying to go down that route, you do have to be very on it with your nutrition. I'm sure we were even going into the whole bodybuilding space, going through bulking and cutting, fast forwarding a little bit.

we were super dialed in and like super on it. And we were very passionate about it. Yeah. And I feel like time. Right. And I feel like if you have very specific like performance and physique goals, I feel like that is a route to go. There's a time and a place. There's definitely a time and a place. Yeah. There's definitely a time and a place.

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So when did you guys start the Instagram page KK Fit? Oh my gosh. Well, I think I was the one who started. I remember laying on my bed. Ken and I shared a room. I was laying on my bed and I would post on my personal page. This was in high school. Just like food that I would bring to class or like food that I was eating. High school? High school. Yes. I didn't even know what Instagram was. I was like, I'm not getting this. This is weird.

And I, yes, I remember being like, what should our username be? And our friend Alyssa was over and she was like, have it be something twins. So we were like HealthNut, HealthNut fit twins. HealthNut underscore fit twins. It used to be HealthNut fit twins. For like a couple years. No, for a couple years, even like after we had gained a following. And we're like, okay, this is like, imagine you were still the HealthNut twins. I know. I'm dead. I know, I know. Thank God for the rebrand. Thank God for the rebrand. Oh my goodness. Could you imagine? Hi, are you the HealthNut twins?

It's like, oh my goodness. So that's when we kind of started. And it started out by just being kind of like a food diary, right? Like didn't really think anything of it. And then our friends would be like, well, you guys should post your workouts also. We're like, okay, yeah, like that kind of goes hand in hand together. So I remember we started like, how do we do this? Like I felt just awkward on camera, like timid, obviously, because you're putting yourself out there and anyone can say anything that they want, you know what I mean? But like, okay, like we need to remember, like we love doing this. I'm sure other people don't.

could fall in love with doing it also if they just start doing it. So kind of just remembering that as we went and we started, I remember going through our first, when it started kind of taking off, we had gone through, was it like our first cut? I think it was our first like fat loss phase. And we just had physically changed a decent amount. So that was super appealing to people. People liked just following that journey. And then we're like, okay, like we want to be, I like

I'm over the cutting phase. I want to go back into a building phase. So we went through maybe like an eight month building phase and people would follow along with that. And then I think our second cut is when things really took off. We're like super muscular, really strong. And that's kind of how it started. We were just super consistent with posting and super passionate. I remember we would go to like

We would go to like Dick's Sporting Goods and get like all the cute outfits. Like Ken, I remember Ken went to Lululemon one day and she like came back to the gym. She's like, I got the cutest outfits. Yeah, like I would just be so excited to record it in the cute outfit. I did the same thing. It was so important also to have a different look in every video, a different hairstyle. The tan. The hair, everything was important. It's a lot. And did you guys do like the scroll posts?

Or like, how did you go about posting the workouts? I forget the, what was the scroll post? I forget what that was. We had just the, so before the scroll post was, there was no scroll, right? Just a video. It was just a video. It was just one. So we would have like,

seven different exercises in one video and we have each clip be like, I think it was like four to six seconds was like our happy number. You guys really were known for the bulking and cutting cycle. Like that's what I knew you guys for. And people...

love a transformation. I mean, that's what gets engagement. That's how my page really took off from my personal transformation. And I feel like people really knew you guys for that era. For anyone listening who doesn't understand what a bulk and a cut is, can you just explain it in more detail? Yeah, I would say so the reasons why we would bulk would be to gain strength and then put on more muscle and then to also give our bodies a little bit of a break from being in a calorie deficit. So we would do that by increasing

At the time, we were tracking our macros, so we would increase our calories slowly by following a reverse diet, which is the approach of increasing your calories just slowly up to maintenance. And then either then, I guess that wouldn't really be the bulk, and then we would push ourselves into a calorie surplus to then lose.

more quickly put on muscle and just like expedite the process of building. So we would go through that process for about eight months. And then that also was like looking back though, like the extreme that we would go to, I remember like

We were just very extreme on both ends. Like we would, I remember like stuffing our faces with food just to hit our calories, which is like so much stress on the body and just probably not overall that great for you. But looking back, we were just so dedicated. So we, I would say that is what, do you have anything that you want to add? Yeah, I would say that is what the bulk would be. It's just pushing yourself into a calorie surplus in order to build strength and

muscle mass and then also just repairing our metabolism that way when we were in when we like wanted to go through a proper cutting phase like our bodies would actually be able to respond and like drop weight. And also so that when we did cut we wouldn't have to go down super low calories like we could get pretty dang lean. I think the lowest that we went was like 1600 which is and we were like shredded. So it's like it wasn't

It wasn't that, and it's low, but it's not like- No, it's not like 800 calories. It's not that low. I remember watching your What I Eat in a Days, and you guys were eating a decent amount, and you were so lean. Did it feel like you were restricting to you, or you felt pretty satisfied? Yeah.

I think that during, I think during like the cutting phase, I feel like we're satisfied, but definitely at the end I would have like cravings for things like binging episodes like that nobody really talks about. I definitely, during that phase, I feel like I thought it was sustainable, but looking back now I'm like, okay,

Probably not. You know? I've talked about this on the show before, and I feel like there's such a thin line between living a healthy lifestyle and setting a goal and then over-restricting. So many people in the fitness industry have come out and said...

that they have struggled with that. I personally have. I never struggled with my relationship with food. I feel so grateful that I haven't. But any time I pushed my body too much, I found myself obsessing over food. Yes. And body image. It's the craziest thing. Like you...

because when we were cutting like we would definitely be I remember being so food focused and that was all I would think about was like okay like how can I be when we're cutting like how can I be the fullest like the most satiated but still maintain like this lean physique like I remember being so hungry and I would eat like I would eat oatmeal and peanut butter like I don't know three times a day because I that's just like what I craved at the time and I feel like

I consistently kind of had a sweet tooth too. So we would kind of try to find things to like curb that. And then it is just, it is a weird concept because like when you are lean and you go through like this fat loss phase, right? You're like, you get this attention or you feel good exteriorly and you attach like your self-worth to that. Because like you're feeling so good. Like people are complimenting you X, Y, Z. Like little do you,

people know that you're like, okay, like all I'm thinking about is food all the time. Like that's no way to live, you know, or even going on trips. Like I remember not wanting to go on like vacations or trips because I'd be like, oh my gosh, like just so stressed out. Like what am I going to eat? Like, am I going to have a gym to go to? Like,

if dad's cooking XYZ and everyone else is eating that, like, and I want to eat something else, like, are they going to judge me? Like, it was just so much. Like, it was a lot. I can relate so much. And I've been on trips where I am paranoid and worried about everything in my putting in my mouth to the point where I'm not enjoying the trip anymore. And it's so sad when I look back on it. But when you're in it,

there's a whole other layer of pressure when your livelihood depends on it. And when you have an influx of people watching you, and when you're known for the transformation of it all, that's when it gets mentally difficult, I think. I agree. I agree. I feel like having to kind of like uphold

I feel like we are very much known for like the bulking and the cutting and then like also our performance and it's like our livelihood and our income like also like it depends on that.

Yeah. So having that pressure, like you mentioned, it can be a lot. It was a lot. I feel like even kind of transitioning to where we're at now, like going through like the whole transformation thing, like that does get a bunch of interaction. Like things are going good. And like that's definitely a high. Like I feel like we kind of blew up in that way. And it is, it's a high. It absolutely is a high. Like you're getting all this attention and like you're getting all these followers. You're getting different business opportunities, right?

And you kind of, you get like sucked into that kind of path and you're like, okay, like this is working. So you're just like, you continue to go and go and go and go. And then you do it again and again and again. And then you get kind of get to a point where you're like, okay, like who am I? What would I be without social media? And yeah.

And am I even enjoying this for myself? Am I doing it for all the external factors and the things that come with it? Like why am I actually doing this? And that can be such a mindfuck. Totally. Oh my gosh. It was such like it created so much just...

and like internal chaos. It's your whole identity. Yeah, yeah, completely. And then it's like, if I don't want to be doing this anymore, like how do I pivot and do something else? Yeah, like what does the path look like now? And I want to applaud you guys so much because I think

how open you've been and how open you're being right now to evolving and changing is so admirable because I think so many people hold on to the old version of themselves because they don't want to publicly admit that they have found a better way. You know, like they don't want to say, oh, I've realized the way I was doing things wasn't the best way and now I'm evolving and I've done that a few times. I think evolving and changing is a part of the human experience and if we can be vulnerable and share it,

Like, that adds so much value to everyone's life. That's so true. I love that. Imagine if you guys had just kept doing what you were doing and being miserable because you felt like you had to. I feel like I was personally doing that for, like, six to eight months. Like, when I was kind of going through everything. Yeah, when Kat was going through her mental health stuff in 2022, I was like, okay, Ken, tie your shoes tight because, like, I feel like I'm the only one, like, able to, like,

do what we're doing and it just it became like something you resented yeah it became something I resented yeah completely because it's like an internal identity crisis it's like I'm doing the things I think I should do but I don't want to be doing them right and and then also going through like mental health and then knowing nothing about nervous system regulation I feel like that's a whole nother topic like

Like I just, I could tell my body was in like myself too. Like I was under so much stress and I was like, I have no other option but to continue training hard, lifting, sharing like what people think is my passion. Little do I know that that's like actually doing more harm than good for me. But I was like, I feel like I have no other option because like without this, like what is going to happen? Which is a whole other stressor in itself. You know, probably your way of supporting Kat.

during that time. For sure. Because I wasn't doing, I mean, I was off of socials for a year. I wasn't lifting, like wasn't working out, like was, had no energy to do anything. And in a way that's beautiful that you had each other during that because otherwise, you know, I don't know what would have happened. And such a great act of support. Thanks, Mar.

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I feel like I should have listened to my breaking point probably long before my actual kind of rock bottom. But I would say so kind of just to give a little bit of a background, I was in a relationship and I want to even get to that like further, like kind of like with where I am now, like regarding the situation. But I was in a relationship and

I had kind of stress regarding social media and business at the time. I had gotten COVID back in August or September of 2021.

And that like put me on my ass. Like I was severe brain fog, exhausted. And I feel like that kind of lingered. Like I had symptoms of long COVID for probably a year, just like brain fog would have just like episodes of being like absolutely exhausted. But I also think it had to do with other outside stressors at the time. So I, that was August or September. And then I got engaged in October. And that was also, I just,

at the time I did feel like that was a little bit soon and that was another stressor, but I was like, okay, like we'll work through this. We had communicated about getting married, et cetera. And then I, at the time, Ken or our lease was going to be up. And then also Diego's lease was going to be up at the time. So, and then we also have like our accountants being like, oh, like you guys should buy, like you're in a place to buy, like instead of renting like X, Y, Z. So

Just kind of not being super informed and kind of not having much of an opinion for myself. I feel like I made a decision that was... I made a decision just too soon. I bought a place in Costa Mesa. Like two months after I got engaged, we moved in together. It was just a lot at one time. Like so many big life decisions all at once. I was so stressed out. I wasn't enjoying lifting at this time. So I was just like, okay, like...

The stress of like, what am I going to post on social media? What do I do activity wise to like maintain what I look like in order to keep going with socials? And then I remember just really not feeling like myself mentally. And I remember just like, just, just in a very dark place. And I remember going to Diego and being like, something's like wrong with me. Like, I don't, I just, um,

Just like, okay, hold on. Give me a second. No, you're fine. Don't worry. It's okay. I laugh. That's what happens when you really mean it, you know? Like it was, yeah, it was really bad. So I remember, and like we've talked about mental health also before,

Like it directly runs in my family. My mom like passed away from it when Ken and I were eight. And then my, one of my siblings suffers from it severely. So I was very scared with kind of the route that I was going down. I was like, oh my gosh, like am I like, I felt like I was losing my mind. And I was like, I was losing my mind. So I remember like going to Diego and be like, something's wrong. He's like, okay, well like, let's get you help. Like you're going to be okay. Just super supportive. And I remember that's when I started therapy. And I had also,

During my whole kind of like childhood and early like adult years, always being like, I don't need therapy. I'm not going to let my past hold me back, X, Y, Z. So I was at this point, I was like, OK, I need therapy because I need to kind of like figure out what's going on with me. So that was very helpful.

I'm still seeing the same therapist and I absolutely love her. Like it's been absolutely life-changing. So after that, I remember going to get my blood work done because I was like, I remember I would like tell Ken and Diego, like something is wrong. It's like, I'm having symptoms of

but I feel like it's something more than that. Like I could tell that something like was wrong with my body or even like my brain, like my brain felt like it was just on fire, constantly on fire. And I didn't know why at the time. So I remember going to get my blood work done. I went back and forth, I think three times to this naturopathic doctor and she said,

She was just like, what is going on? Like my cortisol was through the roof. She couldn't believe it. My thyroid was plummeted. She wanted to put me on like herbs and vitamins and stuff for my thyroid, but it was so low that she was like, we have to put you on like thyroid medication.

And then I had dormant viruses from when I was younger coming up. I had mold in my body. I remember doing like ozone therapy and my like blood wouldn't even come out because it was like so sludgy. Like it was like so thick. So that was going on at the time too. Like I was just so scared. And then I just mentally was just doing so horribly. And then I also felt this pressure then of like,

I'm engaged. I'm a fiance. And this is what is happening. He just proposed to me two or three months ago and I'm shitting my pants. I'm completely losing my mind. So I felt a lot of pressure with that also. There was a point in time, even with the house where I couldn't sleep there because I felt so triggered. I also, with buying the house, I think this is something that

I didn't fully realize at the time, but looking back, I feel like I wanted to just like the pressure with society and stuff. It's like, okay, like you get engaged, you get married and then you buy a house. Like it was just the right next thing to do. And like, I wanted a big, nice kitchen for social media to film with. And it was just...

It was, it just all fell out of control. And then I kind of fast forward to when I started feeling better. So I, I talked about this on my YouTube video. I didn't go into this much detail, but regarding Diego and I, so I tried to break up with him because I was like, I can't be in a relationship. Like I'm just, I'm so mentally unwell. Like I don't want to be in a relationship right now. I just like physically can't. Well, I felt like I couldn't, I feel like

maybe I feel like I wanted to, but I felt like I couldn't at the same time. So I tried to break up with him. He was like, are you sure this is what you want? And I was like, no, it's not what I want, but I feel like I kind of have to. So we ended up chit-chatting. We stayed together. And then I was like, okay, well, what is something else that I could do to relieve some stress? So I ended up selling the house. He moved into an apartment. I moved back into

I moved back into the complex that Ken was living at where we had lived together prior into a different unit. So now Diego and I are living separately. I'm like not doing good. And then maybe a few weeks go by, I try to break up with him again. He's like, are you sure this is what you want? Because if we're like done, we're done. We're not going to go back and forth. So it was like same thing. Like we stayed together for a little bit longer. And then a few weeks later went by and I was like, I can't do this because I just felt myself continuing to decline. Yeah.

And then... I feel like I'm rambling. No, you're good. And then... So... I think a lot of people will really appreciate the details because I had a lot of questions actually about like the living situation, engagements. I think you're clearing up a lot of questions. Okay. Okay. So kind of fast forward. I was living in a different unit than Ken and I was always staying at Ken's place just because I couldn't be alone. Like I was like... I was just living in terror like every single day. Like if I would...

I was just like so easily triggered by everything. So I was like, okay, I need to be around either Ken or Kayleen. Kayleen's our best friend since kindergarten. Love her. And I was like, okay, I never want to post on social media again. Like I just don't want to do it. And our day-to-day is like we have meetings regarding like Strive or...

content that we're going to get, et cetera, like YouTube. And I just like couldn't hear any of it because I was so, I just felt so disconnected from it. And I just didn't, I just didn't want anything to do with it. So I literally remember going into, and I was so serious. I remember watching this girl's YouTube videos and like she was baking and I was like, I want to be a baker. I'm not kidding. I was like,

I went into the Whole Foods bakery and asked if they were hiring. Because I was like, I need structure. Because I was like, I felt like I was just floating through my days. Yeah. And I didn't want to be in the gym. I didn't want to eat healthy. I just didn't want anything to do with what I...

I guess tied my identity to like, I feel like I was just shedding just all of this bullshit. I can relate in so many ways because I think when you live an extreme lifestyle where you do the same things over and over and over and it's stressful and it's hard. I have mental breakdowns frequently where I'm like, I'm going to be a farmer. Yeah. I'm done. Like I will, when I'm spiraling, I watch YouTube videos of people farming.

And I'm like, I want to do that. That's not out of the picture for you. It's not out of the question. It's not out of the question. I completely understand where you're coming from. It's like a complete rejection of everything that you know, because suddenly it isn't working anymore. And you feel so separate. Like I felt so disconnected from myself too, because that was like a part of me that did...

for so long and like did work very hard. And I do like love some of those traits that she had or has or that I have. And I just felt like it brought me, I resented it just because I felt like it had got me into the position that I currently was in. Right. So at that point in time, I was like, okay, what am I going to do realistically? Like I need to be working. I can't just not have a job. Like, no. So. And at this time, Kendra, were you? At this time? Oh my gosh. Where were you at?

Like, what were you doing? Oh my goodness. At this time, so Kat's kind of downward with mental health started early 2022. And then for like a six month period or maybe like a four to six month period, I was like, oh my gosh, like I was feeling so good. I feel like part of my like purpose and passion was like to help support Kat, to like just like be there for her. I just like felt really good. Kat was picking out my clothes for me. Like I was like picking out her outfits. Like I was just like, I felt-

She was so overstimulated. I was going to her appointments with her. I'm like, I was feeling really good at the time. I was also in...

a relationship that just added like a lot of stress and pressure to me that was just kind of very like much so up and down but I remember at that point in time like he like was very supportive so I just felt like things in my personal life were like going pretty well and then I just started not feeling like the best mentally and I'm like is this like a placebo effect I'm like am I like convincing myself that I'm not feeling well because I know Kat's not feeling well like I was like

is this like I it was just confusing it was really confusing like I just started having really similar symptoms as Kat so I at that time was doing everything social wise like basically everything business wise which was a lot because I feel like we typically balanced off each other like if I wasn't doing that good like Kat would pick up the slack and then like if she wasn't doing that good I would pick up the slack so I feel like I had kind of like nothing left to like hang on to or like fall back on

So I was like, okay, like I just continued to just like push and push and push. And even though like my internal being and like my intuition and like so many other factors were telling me to like slow down, I like couldn't. I just like feel like I couldn't, which created so much just like stress and internal turmoil. And then also kind of like I was so worried for Kat. Like I just like wanted her to be okay, right?

I'm like gonna cry. But like it was also like what the fuck you know what it means like I didn't understand like what was going on. So I feel like there was like in a sense like a little bit of like also like resentment but like I also cared so much I was like no like don't come back don't come back like do what you need to do like take take your time. So it got to a point where I was like okay

I was like, this isn't good. Um, and if like we both continue going down this road, like it's just not going to be good. Um, so finally kind of like setting our ground, um,

Yeah, finally like setting our ground. We're like, okay, we clearly need to take a break. It needs to be more than like a week or a few days. So we took, we decided to take a month off of socials. And mind you, at that time, we had like just been coming out with our app. We're like working just hard behind the scenes. Our app was supposed to launch in like during Black Friday. And at that time, we both like really, really weren't doing that well. This was at the end of 2022. Which is tough because...

You have a team of people relying on you. For sure. Yeah. And like our brand is like... And millions of people. Yeah. Like we're launching this brand new thing. I'm like, little do people know, like we're just doing both so not well, just so terrible. And they would have had no idea. No idea. We were kind of open about it, but it got to a point where I'm like, I can't continue to share. Like, I just need to figure out my stuff. Like I...

need to just chill for a little bit like and everyone was so supportive I remember making one or two posts Ken kind of pushed me just to like make she's like you need to tell people what's going on I was like I don't know what's going on like how am I supposed to write something I'm just like just write exactly how I'm feeling that that just feels like not a cry for help but I also didn't want the sympathy from like or I don't want the sympathy and I didn't want

I guess like recommendations or to believe that I actually did have all the support because then I thought that that would be an even bigger pressure for me to get better. Yes. Right. Yeah. It's also just the feedback in itself. Like sometimes you just want to sit with your own shit for a second. You have

Because the second you post something, it's like, have you tried this? Maybe you should try this. It's overwhelming. Even with my acne when I post about it, it's like an influx. And then suddenly everyone feels like they have the right to tell you how to live your life or to suggest things. And it's maybe you just need to be alone for a minute. And it's like you want to let people know what is going on. But then there's also that side of it where it's just so overwhelming. Right. So how long did you guys end up taking off?

Like total. I think we did like a month and a half. I think we aimed for a month and it was like a month and a half. I think it was two months. I mean, Kat was off an entire year. For me, it was like over a year. Kat was off for a year. I was like...

this I'm done he's like I'm seriously yeah and what did you do and then also also not to interrupt but also at that point she had gained how much did you gain oh my gosh I was yeah going through everything I just felt I fell back into just like old eating habits and I was like I was binging and purging like multiple times a day and I would I was doing that for like a couple of weeks I had gained I

I had gained, I think, 50 pounds within the span of, like, nine to 11 months. And then so that was also, that was another kind of battle in itself. Like, I was, like, we're in this fitness space and here I am, like, gaining a bunch of weight. I'm, like, not working out. Like, it wasn't good weight. I looked unhealthy. I was super inflamed. I was, like, embarrassed to go into the gym or, like, see people that I knew because I'd be, like, I just felt like they would look at me and be, like, oh, my God, like, what happened? Of course, nobody would say that, actually, but...

That's just how...

I kind of felt that. And I feel like during that time, like I like felt for you, but I was also like, okay, this is now putting even more pressure on myself because I feel like now I have to like uphold this image and like be like KK fit, whatever that is. Do you think the fact that you guys are twins almost like added to that pressure? Because if you were just sisters, you wouldn't have this, your business partners, your twins, your friends, like in a way,

it adds a level of support, but in a way it also adds a level of pressure because if one's struggling, it's on the other one. I agree. I agree. For me going through it, like even when I was taking a break, since Ken was posting, I felt like I never fully got a break because I feel I was still kind of like wrapped up in, like I was still hoping with some content, like I would like help set stuff up or like film you or whatever. Like I feel like I never fully got to detach from it.

So that was definitely a challenge. And then I also feel like because I was posting, it didn't really give like our audience a chance to like really realize that like you were severely suffering. Like I think people just maybe I, I, I imagined that you were feeling like this. I don't know if you were actually feeling like this, but that like people thought you were fine and that like everything was good. Well,

Well, because a lot of the time people don't know which one's posting. Yeah, exactly. I don't think people know. So people just, you know, they just have no idea. It's Ken Kat. It's Ken Kat.

skincare. Honestly, I think that may be the case. Before I knew you guys in person, like now when I sit with you, I know who's who. But when I would just tune into your page, it could have been either of you. And I wouldn't have known the brand was still existing, like it was still going. And that also must be difficult when you're struggling with your identity in itself. It's like people don't even really know who I am.

Yeah, no, it totally was. It totally like I'm over here kind of going the opposite direction of what our business was. And then Ken still like Ken still posting and doing everything that's in line with it. So I felt like, OK, well, if I ever come back, I have to be that again. Otherwise, what's going to happen? It was just so scary in your head. I feel like it's just so overwhelming. On this healing journey. Mm hmm.

What do you think were the major steps you took to get where you are now? Because now I feel like you guys are thriving. You're living authentically. You seem healthy inside and out. What do you feel like were the main things that you had to do during that time? I feel like for me, one therapy has been huge. Really learning how to like actually trust myself and listen to my intuition. Because I feel like for so long I...

I was also in a relationship that was very kind of like up and down and emotionally like very stressful. And I removed myself from that, which I think was the right decision and allowed me to just like actually kind of like relax and figure out like what I wanted to do. Yeah, I would say those would be like the main. Kind of going off Ken's absolutely therapy. Just to be able to, I remember everything.

I feel like I've always been somebody to be like, I don't know how I'm feeling this type of way, but like I didn't know how to express my emotions. I just would kind of bottle everything in, not ever talk about just how I was feeling. I genuinely didn't know how to. Like I remember my therapist asking like, what are you feeling? And I'd be like, I don't know. I'm just having these symptoms. And then we would kind of break it down. Like, where are you feeling it in your body? And then we would kind of dive deeper into that. So absolutely therapy. And then also kind of pairing off of what Ken said, just making it,

no matter how hard the decisions are, in your gut, you know, like whether you're doing the right thing or not. And like to not ignore that and to trust that, lean into it, know that everything's going to be okay. And just to have, like have some type of hope. Like I remember just being, I remember feeling so hopeless and Ken would be like,

Just kind of rooting me on and being my cheerleader. Like, it's okay that you're feeling like this, but like, you're not going to feel like this forever. Like actually know, actually knowing that you're not going to be in this situation forever. So I would say, yeah, therapy and then just making sure

the difficult decision, even if you know it's going to be like the most challenging thing ever. Yeah, I feel like something that also really helped was like hanging out with more friends, like being more social, even if it feels a little bit uncomfortable. I feel like for so long, I would only hang out with like Kat Kaelin, the guy I was with at the time, and maybe like a couple other friends sporadically. But I feel like really prioritizing relationships has just

I don't know, help me like feel more connected to like them, myself. Like I learn more about myself every time I hang out with somebody, which is so cool. I feel like we both made the decision also to go back to school to like have something else for ourselves. I think connecting with people is a huge one because one thing I realized is if you can show up

at the lowest version of yourself and still get love from someone and be able to tell them what you're experiencing and they still love you back and don't abandon you for me that was huge because i kind of have abandonment issues and i think in my head i thought it's better to self-isolate than show up as this version of me because they're never going to want to see me again to show up and

regardless of how insecure you're feeling, I feel like just bolsters your confidence and shows you that people are still there for you no matter what. And it also reminds you of like who you are because you can get so lost in,

in your thoughts when you're isolated and just like not hanging out with anybody. And then you just rabbit hole every single little thing. Like I feel like when you're with other people, even if they don't bring the best out of you, you just remember who you are. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 100%. Especially if you find the right people, they can reflect back the best version of you. And you can laugh again. And I think it really does bring a positive energy

positive energy. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. A necessity. What would you guys say is your perspective on health and fitness now today compared to what it used to be? Oh my gosh. I feel like so much has changed. Looking back, I'm like, I cannot even believe that we used to like slam pre-workout six days a week, lift heavy, hitting PRs like

every three days like insane I'm just like I can't I can't imagine like how much havoc that was just putting on our bodies and our nervous system so and I remember I was gonna say also like we were also tracking macros at the time so I feel like we're very we thought we were like in in tune with nutrition and I feel like I've always been passionate about nutrition but I feel like we weren't aware of like the actual quality of products and like food we're putting on our body like nor did we have any idea about like hormonal health

any of that. So it's like, we're just like protein, carbs, fats, like let's hit the numbers. And we thought that was healthy. And I feel like our perspective, if you want to dive more into that. Yeah, I would say we're both eating intuitively now. I feel I'm personally trying to eat whole nutrient dense foods. I'm just really focusing on what I'm putting in my body. I'm trying to make sure I'm eating a decent amount of protein. Amazing for overall hormonal health.

I feel like I'm finally in tune with myself where I can, I know when I'm hungry and I know when I'm full. I feel like in the past it was like, I couldn't leave a bite on my plate because I would have the bite and then I would still, I would like, I would still want more. I feel like it was just a, like, okay, I need to sit down, eat my food and then like go, like go do something. Now I feel like I can, yeah, I'm just, I feel a lot more in tune with myself. I feel at peace.

peace. I don't feel overwhelmed by food. I feel like we have intertwined just more forms of exercise, which has been really fun, opposed to just lifting all the time. Try to do Pilates once every two weeks, try to do yoga once a week, and then I'm lifting three days a week. I'm walking a lot, which I just feel like is overall so good for me. I just feel overall a lot more balanced and

And sustainable. I feel, what else? I'm taking my vitamins every day, which is amazing. Whenever I see you guys, you ask me questions about the previous podcast episode, which I love the fact that you listen to the podcast. Oh my gosh, it's our favorite. It's our absolute favorite.

These are my biggest fans, guys. I love you guys so much. Seriously, they always are like, so that part of the Paul Saladino episode where he said this, what did he mean by that? And I'm like, oh my gosh, I love you guys. Thank you for listening. Wait, I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm like, I don't remember the conversation. They're like taking notes. Where would you guys say your...

body image is at now compared to what it was at during the bulking and cutting phase? Yes, that's a good question. I feel like when we're bulking and cutting, we were so...

like attached to our bodies and cared so much about what we looked like, which I feel like served its purpose. But I feel like it also did probably more harm than good. I feel like now I'm like yesterday I didn't have the best body image day, but I'm like, I feel good with where I'm at. I'm like, I'm a little bit, like, I guess you could say like thicker or like a little bit softer, but I'm not, it doesn't like determine my happiness. It doesn't determine like if I'm going to

go on a date, if I'm going to hang out with a friend, if I'm going to like wear a certain thing, I just feel like really good overall with where I'm at. Although like I would, of course, like I would like to have like tweaks and like change like a few things, but I don't feel like consumed or like obsessed with my image. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think it's a bad thing to like also to want to look better. I feel like there is this, there is this, I guess like stereotype of like,

I feel like I 100% had to learn how to love myself even in order to like move in a healthy direction regarding my body image and just like making good choices. I feel like we definitely don't tie as much just so overall self-worth to like what,

our exterior looks like. But I also don't think it's like, I still do have like goals, but I'm just like not so wrapped up in that. Like it's not my whole livelihood. Yeah. I love that. There's a gray area. Yeah. I think on the internet, people want a black and white solution. You can love yourself and be happy with where you're at, but also still want to get better. Absolutely. I don't know about you guys, but

I think back to the times of my life when I was my leanest and I was my most insecure. Like I was literally more confident when I was heavier. Wow.

Isn't that cool? Because I feel like when you're leaner and you're so obsessed with how you look and how you eat, you get a skewed image of how you look because you do. I would do body checks all day. Oh my gosh. Every time I get the chance to look at my stomach in a mirror, I'm doing it. The reflection on the cars walking by, like everywhere. No, I want to throw up thinking about it. Yeah, everywhere. Like every two seconds, do I still have abs? Do I still have abs? Do I still have abs? Insane. Oh, I ate a crumb and they're gone. Insane.

- I'm saying, and not getting lean as I was yesterday. Or filming a video and being like looking back. I remember not even posting. I look back now and I'm like, I was literally shredded. But I remember that specific day put me back in the moment, like wanting to tweak this or this or like not posting it because I didn't look like lean or jacked enough. - It's crazy. I have the same experiences. I look back on these like vacation content I have that I never posted because I thought that I was too heavy.

And I'm the leanest I've ever been. Yeah. Isn't that bizarre what the brain does? And it makes me shiver thinking about it. I remember like when Kat and I first moved to Orange County, I remember being so excited because we'd go through our broken and cutting phases. I was like, oh, like we'll be lean during the summer. Like I was just like so excited to like go out and be lean. Not that I'm saying that that's a bad thing, but I remember that that was like what I also tied like my most like happy moments and like joy to was just being like tiny and small.

which I just feel like is not a sustainable, like good place to be. So I feel good with where I'm at. Yeah. Yeah. Thank goodness. Yeah. What would you guys say are your main priorities now health wise? Oh my gosh. Overall health wise, I would say my main priority right now would definitely be like continuing with where I'm going with my mental health. And then also like nervous system regulation. I feel like if you're like, I was in fight or flight for so long that

that I feel like I was probably in fight or flight my whole entire life without knowing it and then I was just even more heightened going through that whole transitional period but knowing what it's like to be in a sympathetic state I'm like I remember even doing therapy sessions with my therapist and she would have me do like a body meditation or a body scan and I remember being like if I could only just feel like this all the time like I actually feel normal and then like that would kind of like wear off after a few days and then like you know whatever but

I feel, yeah, I feel like having my nervous system regulated. That way I can just like think thoroughly, be at peace, feel at peace and take that into my days with me. And then to also just be consistent with,

exercise and nutrition as the way that I have been doing. Of course, I'm like still learning a lot regarding like hormonal health and stuff, which is so exciting. It can also be a little bit overwhelming because I hear this and then I hear this. So I'm like, okay, finding what works for me. Am I even answering the question? Yes, you are. Yeah, you are. I'm like, my answer would probably be the same. Yeah. Well, Ken and I live together. So I feel like a lot of the things that we do now are

She's like, oh, I did a jumping meditation this morning. Like, I feel like, I feel so good. I'm like, Kat, send it to me. No, but also like a jumping meditation. She's like, is that actually? I need that. It was, it was good. It was on the app. It was on the app Calm. And they have like these, so I'll do, I also want to really start prioritizing meditation a little bit more. I think that when I used to hear the word meditation, like years ago, I'd be like, ew. Ew. Or just like, I can't do it. No, I'm a hardcore girl. Like I would sit there, you know what I mean? Yeah.

But I'm like, okay, wow, just really being able to calm and ease your mind. Yeah, to calm, to self-soothe myself because I didn't know how to do that for the longest time. I would just freak out. Wow, that's powerful, honestly. And I feel like the thing I keep thinking about, do you guys feel like that extreme phase you were in, you were kind of running away from something? I feel like we've talked about this. I'm like, I feel like,

Growing up, we didn't really have like that much like stability in regards to just our upbringing. So I feel like that was like the one thing that we had control over and it felt good to like know where we were going. Like I feel like the gym was our safe place. Yeah, to have control over like our training, our appearance, the way we looked.

I feel like we're very passionate about it as well. Kind of like no matter what's going on in the outside world or like what's going on at home, like we can still get dressed and we can still go to the gym and like make ourselves feel better. So powerful. Like I think what you said sums it up and I can relate in so many ways. Like I... And...

honestly maybe we needed it at the time I think yeah I love the quote what used to serve you isn't going to serve you for the rest of your life that's not the exact quote but whatever worked for us at that time was maybe what we needed to survive but it isn't necessarily what's going to take us to the next level and I feel like you guys kind of had that realization unfortunately it was a kind of

a drastic realization that you were like oh shit we need to change something but now looking back are you so grateful that you had that rock bottom moment absolutely yeah looking back I'm like if I can pull myself out of something so heavy and so dark like I can truly get through anything like I feel I feel like the most confident with myself I feel like if if anything comes at me and is gonna kind of like of course things are gonna happen in life but if things are kind of like

threatened to knock me off my rocker or like intrude on just like my well-being or my overall emotional peace or mental peace like I know how to set a boundary for myself I feel like looking back like I was always just such a people pleaser and would like would want to be liked or I would not want to bring something up in a relationship because I wouldn't want the confrontation like I just feel I'm so grateful to have gone through that because I just feel it has served me so well but also my

relationships so well. I feel like for me too, I'm like, I feel, I'm like, I feel very grateful that I went through everything. I feel like I always wanted to have just like more wisdom and like more depth and like know more about myself. But I was like, how do I get there? Like, I feel like so many people are talking about and just are like just so connected to themselves and like so self-aware, but I feel like I wanted that so bad, but I was just like, how do I get there? And I feel like I can actually,

like say that I'm there because of everything and just by having that experience. So yeah, I wouldn't take it back. Yeah. I'm like, I know that I learned so many damn lessons. My gosh. Some I may take back. You know what I mean? I'm just like, I feel like I learned just so much throughout that whole process.

Looking ahead, where do you see yourselves going next? Your app's drive? Any other business endeavors? Life in general? School? What are we thinking? Oh my goodness. I feel...

Oh, that's definitely a big question. I feel... Bakery? Bakery, freaking maybe a farm. I'm like, whenever people are like, wait, like, do you ever see yourself moving? I'm like, I would love to have a farm. Like, genuinely, I just feel like Orange County can be so fast paced. There's so many successful people, like beautiful, successful everywhere you look like it definitely can be... Pressure. The pressure. It's just like overwhelming. And it just, it is what it is. But...

Oh my gosh, regarding Strive. So I would love to have a platform that is just like overall more versatile. So maybe having like some trainers coming on for, I'm like, we've been loving Pilates and yoga. So just having just more variety. Like we are still lifting and I feel like lifting girlies, but I definitely do feel more inclusive to other things. Maybe having like a meditation on there. So just really trying to,

I don't know, focus on what other people need in that aspect. I feel like it's been fun to work on. Yeah, sure. It's enjoyable for sure. I feel like personally, like we're both in school part time from Monday to Thursday at night. And I just I'm like, I want to travel. I feel like I'm like finally like in a place to travel. I just want to explore. I love that. I feel like that's where I'm at personally and just like.

Being able to stay in my body and like being able to continue to have a peace of mind. I feel like that's my main priorities right now. I love that. Yeah. What are you both doing at school, by the way? I have two more months left. I'll graduate in January. The latest I could graduate is March. Like if my attendance isn't the best, but yeah.

I'm thinking January. Which has been so fun to be able to like just focus on something else other than fitness. And I do feel like it kind of is all intertwining regarding like skin and health and wellness. Yes. So that's been super cool just to learn more about

just the skin and like products and different facials, et cetera. Our older sister was always super into skincare. So I feel like that's why we're like, we've always been into skincare. Yeah. She was like wearing sunscreen all the time. Yeah. So yeah. Well, you guys are glowing lately. Thanks more. Do you think it's because you're like absorbing all this information and applying it in your own skincare routines?

I feel like it's more like internal. I feel like it's internal. Yeah. A lot of it. Honestly. I feel like I'm like, no matter my face, like it's constantly changing. But the more I feel like that I am able to just kind of like release and work through, I feel like you have like an internal glow. I love that. You know, you get it. 100%. I've been through that.

shit with my skin yeah and I have to say whenever I'm the most stressed and the most activated is when my skin is at its worst when I obsess over my skin it looks worse and worse I know when I stop thinking about it it gets better are you picker yeah such a bad picker yeah you know what it is I have really bad mental health genetics in my family like OCD and I think it's an OCD tendency yeah or like a little bit of a self-harm tendency yeah honestly yeah I've kind of been looking into that

And that's why I have a lot of scarring. I need to look more into it. Because I have a little tool. Our mom was a huge picker. I remember seeing her when we were younger in the sink in the mirror just digging at her skin. And I feel like that could be... Yeah, that's so interesting. I know, it's something I'm working on. Do you guys mind if we do some fan Q&A? Let's do it! Rapid fire. Rapid fire. Perfect timing. Let's go.

Okay, wrap this up. How do you become a Gymshark athlete? Oh my gosh. I feel like just sharing your journey, like having a purpose behind the content that you're sharing, like tagging the company would help. Wearing the clothes, obviously, and just...

staying true to herself. I feel like there's like no real secret. I feel like they're kind of transitioning into not just lifting. I feel like they have like a very broad kind of audience and like, I guess you could say like athlete crew. Yeah.

So yeah, that would be my answer. Was that rapid fire enough? Did you guys freak out when they first reached out? Yeah. Yeah. Because when we started, we're like, okay, if we were to ever get sponsored, like I would want to be sponsored by Gymshark and P-Science. Like those were the only two companies. And like we had some other companies reach out to us and we're like, no, like it's not Gymshark yet. XYZ. And then I remember getting an email from this guy named Derby. I was like,

okay, this is not real. Like, you know what I mean? Like, this is not real. And it was real. It was legit. And that's kind of how it happened. We did like a six-month trial period. It was so exciting. Yeah. And then signed with them for long term. And now how many collections have you guys done with them? One. We've only done one. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's late. I have the shorts. Yeah. You did.

You do more? Yeah. They're my booty shorts. What color? Orange. And what's the other one? Green? The green. The sage. Yeah. Yeah. Orange and green. I love the green. Favorite high protein recipe? Oh. Oh my God. That's a good question. I'm like trying to think about what I would actually, like what my favorite one is. Mine would be like, mine would just be a good bowl. Like with maybe like ground turkey or ground beef. Yeah.

with maybe like lettuce, rice, beans, avocado, kind of like a burrito bowl. Yeah. Something simple that I can easily throw together that doesn't take too much prep. Either that or I feel like when I get home late, I'm like, I need something quick. Like I need to go to bed. I get home at like 10, 20. So we'll typically have like a can of tuna and then I'll do, I'm like last night, I just did like mustard. I'll do a little bit of coconut aminos. I threw rice in there, say arugula, a little bit of pumpkin seeds.

Yeah, like I just like mix this like whole- Pumpkin seeds and tuna? No, it's like actually good. No, that sounds fire. It's actually good, yeah. It sounds like a lay bowl, but like higher protein. I don't know. I feel like something easier. Pumpkin seeds. What about you, Maura? I need to know. Favorite high protein? Yeah. I mean, I'm just pounding steaks over here. You love the ribeye. I literally, nothing creative. I eat so much steak. Yeah. And I love a tuna bowl. Okay. What else do I do for high protein?

I'm just pounding steak at the moment. I'm just going to keep it simple. Okay, okay. Oh, this is a juicy one. Are you still engaged?

I am. So Diego and I are actually back together. I know you guys, we didn't talk. Oh my gosh. We didn't talk for eight months. Like no communication. I made a fake Instagram account and would like look at his stories and shit. Oh yeah. But I feel like I'm like, I need to be, I need to be connected to you in some sort of way. Even though at the time I was like, okay, we're probably not never going to get back together again because that's just like where I was at.

And I just had to be at peace with that. And it definitely took a while, but we're back together. We ran into each other at a brand new gym back in...

When was that? Like five months ago now? I saw him first. I was like, oh my gosh, Diego. And at the time he was like, I was so excited to see him as if like nothing had happened. And he's like, hi. Like he was so confused. Like, why are you so excited to see me? But go ahead. But we're back together. We're not engaged. We're taking things slowly. And congrats. I'm very happy. I love that. Thank you more. Do you guys cycle sync your workouts? No.

I do not. I feel like, well, I don't, I'm not like hardcore about it. I feel like I naturally, like through the second phase of my cycle and like close to my menstrual, I do feel like just like more fatigue and tired. So I will like lighten up the load a little bit, but I don't, I'm not. It's intuitive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's intuitive. Yeah, I feel like mine's intuitive too. Like I definitely, I definitely do feel just more tired towards menstruation.

the start of my period. So I feel like I will be like walking more, maybe doing more yoga. But I do love lifting. And I also feel like lifting does give me energy. Like even if I am tired, like if I go and work out, even if it's not some crazy intense workout, I will walk out of the gym having more energy.

I feel like you can weightlift in a way where it's actually still pretty low impact. Like you can either fly around and keep your heart rate up or you can take it really slow. Take longer rest periods. Like you don't even need to be doing compound lifts. Like you can do some like dumbbell stuff. Yeah. So beneficial. Maybe not so many supersets. Yeah. I love a good superset. I know. I know. How do you guys deal with sister comparison? Oh my gosh. I've actually like severely had to like work through this.

really yeah yeah I don't get like competitive vibes from you guys yeah not in a not in a sense of like not not like competitive but I was like oh my gosh like I feel like Kat went through this like huge transformation like I feel like she's like an entirely like new person like has this whole brand new identity like I felt like I had to have something like that another to like get to the other side type thing wow but like learning how yeah like learning how to like detach from that and like really just kind of like pulling things back and I was like like

I don't know. I just feel like you have like this whole new like aura and energy. And I feel like I was like wanting that so bad. Talking about this like makes me like a little bit emotional. I feel like I wanted that so bad, but I was so like externally focused, which wasn't healthy. Like it was in a sense like a comparison, like Kat has something that I don't.

But, yeah, I feel like I've worked through that recently and I feel, like, really good with where I'm at. But I feel like we're not necessarily, like, super competitive. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah. I feel like looking back, I feel like we've always been each other's biggest cheerleaders, to be honest. Like, we've never really been – I feel like –

Yeah, we'll have like sister fights and stuff and be like, blah, blah, blah. And then it's like, we're fine two seconds later. But we've always kind of been a team. And I feel like we've always been able to rely on each other for certain things. And I do think that we... Yeah. Give me a second here. Yeah, I just feel like we're not that like... Competitive. I feel like we're not like that like nasty competitive. I feel like it's like in a healthy way. When I first met you guys, I feel like I was...

at how it felt like you guys were just besties. Yeah, I don't know how it is. Oh, we just get it. Like, we'll crack up at the dumbest shit. Like, it's just like, we'll look at each, if something happens, like, we'll just look at each other and we get it. Or like, we'll be able to like make this stupid. We'll talk in like basically different languages. Like, no one else would even be able to understand what we're saying. And like, we'll just

continue, continue doing it and it's the funniest thing ever. But nobody else would get it. Right. Which I love. I do not get competitive vibes from you guys which you would, it's kind of crazy considering the industry you're in and what you guys do. But I feel like when you've been through really hard times

shit together, you're just strong. I was gonna say too, like even growing up, like I feel like we've never been, even like with our older sister, we've never had even a relationship with her where it's like very bantery or like, I mean, like we can be silly together, but it's more of like, okay, like we need to protect each other and be nice to each other because everything out there is like scary and not safe. So it's like, I feel like we have always had this connection where it's like,

I don't know. I feel like we're just hyping each other up and like, yeah, we're there for each other. Yeah. I feel like we're definitely lucky in that aspect. I'm learning so much about you. This is so cute, guys. I really am Dr. Phil today. Yeah, you're Dr. Phil. All right. Oh my goodness. Now it's time for the question we ask every guest. I started this podcast because I believe everyone's pursuit of wellness looks different. What does wellness mean to you both?

I literally was thinking... I was laying in bed last night. I was like, I know what Maury's going to ask me this question. I literally feel so prepared. She takes out notes. I literally was like, yeah, I'm ready. No, but I feel like wellness...

can mean so many different things. I feel like it's really like coming back like to yourself and prioritizing kind of like every area of your life and giving attention to like your spiritual health, your mental health, your physical health, like nutritionally, like all those things and really just

trying to have a peace of mind. I feel like that's like the most important thing. I love that. Yeah. I would say wellness to me would be, I feel like it is kind of ever changing and like genuinely depends on the day. But I would just say being, trying and continuing to practice being in tune with myself and just listening to what, listening to what my body and my mind need for that day or even moment and not judging that.

absolutely love those answers i agree 100 where can people find you guys online where can they download the app well our instagram is kk underscore fit underscore um the app is strive by kk fit and then we also have a youtube channel i think you could just look up kk fit or kendra and katherine

And that's where you can find us. Love you guys. Love you more. Thank you so much for this. Thank you for having us. That was so fun. Thank you for listening to today's episode. Go comment on my last Instagram at Mari Llewellyn with the guest you want to see next. I'll be picking one person from the comments to send our bloom greens to. Make sure you hit follow so you never miss my weekly episodes. If you enjoyed the conversation, be sure to share and leave a review. See you next week.

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