Breakups, Sexuality & Intimacy, Getting A Period Back, Body Image, and *That* Italy Trip with Alyssa Lynch
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Welcome to the pursuit of wellness.

Hi guys, welcome back to POW. Today on the show we have wellness creator and my good friend Alyssa Lynch. We actually did this interview a few months ago. We covered great topics such as moving to LA, handling negative feedback in the wellness space, self-love, losing her period, shifting from a vegan diet to an omnivore diet,

top wellness tips and more. However, Alyssa has recently undergone a lot of changes in her life, so I wanted to bring her on again for an update.

on ending her long-term relationship plus her journey to getting her period back so when you listen to this episode you're going to hear from Alyssa today in August 2023 and what she's going through plus our older episode with some history on her life and what brought her to this point Alyssa is one of my favorite people she is so so sweet one of the most caring friends I've ever had

If you haven't seen her on social media, make sure you check her out. She has the best wellness tips. She does all types of workouts and just has a lot to share. So with that said, you guys are going to gain so much from this conversation. Let's hop right in.

I slept like one and a half hours last night and I'll tell you about that off mic. So if I'm delusional, that's why. I don't know who I am anymore. Oh my god. Good for you. Yeah. Very good for you. Wild. As you should. First for everything.

Alyssa, we last spoke in November of last year, which is absolutely insane. And your life has changed a ton. Yeah, completely. So wild. In the best way. Yeah. So I want to talk about that because part of this interview is you in November. But I want to hear from Alyssa in August of 2023. So let's start because one of your major health goals when I met you was getting your period back. Yes. Yeah.

And now you sit in front of us bleeding. Menstruating. Sorry. I really am. Or are you actually? Yeah.

Both of us. Really? We're synced. We're synced. This was our goal. Like, I remember us bonding over the fact that we couldn't get our periods back. The last time we were in this building together, I think we were talking about it. Did we manifest it? I think so. Okay, tell us about the journey. Like, why do you think you ever lost it? How long was it? Let's talk. Okay, so when I was 19, I went off of birth control.

Got my wisdom teeth out, which started a weight loss journey and changed diet lifestyle changes majorly all within like the same couple of weeks. And I lost too much weight. So I think that that was the factor of not getting it back properly.

I also think going off birth control can stop it from coming back for a shorter amount of time. But I think I prolonged it with the changes I made, maybe some definitely some over exercising as well as I went vegan. And I don't mean to blame veganism at all, but I think I did use veganism as a way to, you know, eat.

eat less and make excuses. So all of those things were factors in it not coming back. Mind you, I did not know that that would turn into eight and a half years. So it did turn into eight and a half years. And for the past, I would say three years, I've been like,

truly, truly like purposefully really trying to get it back, gaining healthy weight and exercising in a way like low impact and trying to regulate my nervous system, acupuncture, body work, all the different things. And it wasn't until, well, since I've seen you last, I am now single and I'm

I can't blame that at all because I didn't have my period long before that relationship even started. But I was never in a place where I just felt free and like I didn't have to take care of someone. And

felt that since I was 19 that I had to take care of people. And so I think getting out of a relationship, feeling free. And then also I did a I did some energy work, one on one energy work, you know, just stone. Yeah. Yeah. So her and I did this incredible experience and I went into it wanting to know why I don't get a period. And I also had a

Kind of, and I've never really talked about this, but kind of a fear of men and intimacy. Always. There was always a lot of shame around. I was very, always very shy since I was little. I can remember like a guy would put his arm around me and I would just like freeze up and not know how to be sexual or anything like that. And that actually came up during the experience a lot. And some things from the past that made a lot of sense as to why I would feel that way.

and released it all and it felt incredible. Kid you not, I woke up the next day with cramps.

And I was like, no way. My body is like screwing with me. Like this is, this is funny. Okay. This is funny. 10 days later, I got my period. And I think that that was so needed. However, I don't want to also like minimize the importance of all the other things I was doing, starting to eat little bits of meat. And I mean, like I only ate meat like six times maybe, but it was like when my body was craving it and I just leaned into that.

And also body work was like mind blowing for me and so life changing. What is body work? Well, I think it can be like, depending on the person, like body.

so different. I work with a guy, his name's Brian and his company's called Shen Generation. And like we've built such a like beautiful relationship. And he just really I feel like he can explain what he does a lot better than I can. But I also feel like it's so personal. And he just whether it's chiropractic, like chiropractic,

cracking the bones or it's more pressure points of releasing different like emotional pressure points, almost like massage technique, physical therapy technique. It's pretty much like moving stagnant energy in your body. And like he'll like press on. There's this one spot inside of your mouth. He'll wear gloves and he'll press on the top of like your jaw area and

and I've bawled my eyes out from it. And I've also started hysterically laughing from it. And it's not like a pain thing. It is like a full blown emotional release. And I always leave feeling like so much lighter and clearer minded. It's wild.

it's wild i've talked to him a couple times i really need to go oh my goodness i'm kind of procrastinating because i've heard it's painful no no no interesting maybe for everyone it's different it is different for everyone but i i have recommended so many people who are extremely skeptical about all of that and i was skeptical about it too you know i'm skeptical about everything i'm like okay what's like a little too woo-woo and not

and the people i've sent almost every single one has called me in tears being like i've never felt so connected to my body this is actually crazy i think that's such a big part of it and i can actually relate to you in terms of the intimacy and the shame that comes with it i think because of my past and how wild i was in college and maybe

the lack of respect I had for myself during that time. Now I have a little bit of shame around being sexual. And I think a lot of times when we have that disconnection with our bodies, the body knows. A million percent. And it shuts off. A million percent. I mean, like,

Not to get too TMI, but just like experimenting with being, and I'm not talking about with like even just partners, but with myself, like experimenting, being sexual and feeling into myself and like being like proud of that. Like that came so easily to me once I did that energy work. And like, then I got my period and like, I just have felt so good.

Just the best word. It's so corny, but the best word I can use is free. When you say energy work, do you mean like breath work or is it tarot cards? So there was a little bit of a like psychedelic drug involved. Can I say that on here? Yeah, you can. Okay. Cool. And I didn't mention that before just because I...

Didn't know. I didn't want to like have to recommend that to people because I also think there is like I went to an open breathwork class not too long ago. And I was like, I feel like that could have helped me and done it for me. Yeah. Oh, it's insane. Out of this world. Like when Jess Stone and I first sat down during this experience, what I hadn't taken anything yet. And we did breathwork. And I truly think that might have been the most powerful

transformative feeling out of all of it. Mind you, yes, the little bit of psychedelics that we did were just so mind opening. And I was able to kind of go back to those places and like forgive people, forgive myself and like understand myself and love myself more. But I do just want to like

make sure that like people know that that isn't needed. Like the breath work, the Reiki or, you know, any of those kind of methods as well are so powerful. I feel like what psychedelics do is...

help with trust. I don't know if you can relate to that, but I feel like when I microdose or experiment with mushrooms, the trust I have with whoever I'm with, as long as it's someone that I have a good feeling about. You have to. You have to feel safe. If it's someone that I don't know, it can send me on a weird path, but also trust myself. Like I find that I stop questioning everything I'm saying, everything I'm doing, and I just feel at one

And I wonder if that safety also allowed you to kind of be comfortable in your own body. Oh my goodness. Absolutely. And Jess Stone, like I, I mean, I think I'm like in love with her now. She's honestly beautiful. She's perfect. She's beautiful. I sat with her for 10 minutes at Sammy's event. Yeah. I was like, is this a mermaid? Imagine seven and a half hours. You might have fallen in love with her. She's like, do you want to get married? No.

She has like the best boobs. She's the best body, face, energy. Like she's so feminine. And I'm just like staring at her being like, I am ready to give my heart to you. No, she's incredible. She is. She also like looked into my soul and has never met me. Yeah. She's powerful too. So it was, it was a really great experience. I need to sit with her again. You do.

An example that you're doing right now is you're sharing how you're introducing animal products. Yeah. And I think that was so...

I loved that you did that because I think a lot of people grow and change and learn new things over time and then they change their minds, particularly with wellness. Like I'm constantly proving myself wrong from a month ago and changing my mind on things I've always done. What made you change your diet? Because I know you were vegan for so long and like what was the reaction like when you did share that?

Yeah. So I, so I became vegan, like around the same time I moved to LA. So of course, right. And I loved it so much. I mean, everything from the way that I felt to the ethical and environmental reasons. And I feel like, I think it started with

health, like the way I wanted to feel. And like vegan just seemed very appealing to me to not have any animal products. I think like for a while I was very turned off from animal products and, but I was still eating them. And once I started to get a little bit more in tune with my body, I realized that that wasn't really what I wanted. And so I

Vegan felt so good in all the ways you kind of start to get obsessed with every aspect of veganism. Once you go into it for one reason, then you start to watch a documentary and then all of this. And then you're like, okay, I'm never eating an animal product again.

But fast forward, like seven years, I when I went vegan, who knows if it had to do with this. There was also so many other health things that happened that year, which kind of drew me to being vegan as well. But I lost my period. And when it hit like the six year mark of not having a period, I feel like for the first few years, you're just kind of like, this is great. Like, who wants that?

And I was at the point where I was young enough that I'm not like I wasn't thinking of kids or anything like that. And probably just not like my full health. I was just like living my best life. And then, yeah, six years of no period, I was like, I really want to figure this out. And that's when I started to like really dive into all of like

natural wellness trends that were going on because I had done research on so many of these things like, you know, acupuncture, lymphatic drainage massages. Yeah, I could go on. And I researched that these different things have helped people get their period back or balance their hormones. So I started to do all of those things a few years ago, religiously. And definitely

definitely I could tell how much it was making me feel better. And I would say during quarantine, near the end of it, I would have these waves of, I started to meditate, first of all, every single morning. And that's been life-changing in so many aspects. But I also feel like it's really brought me to a place where I can actually be intuitive and

It was something I always dreamed of was being intuitive with like my diet and my needs and like how my body felt. And I was like, I am so out of tune with my body. I have no idea if I'm hungry or not. Like I don't even know. And when I started meditating, sounds so cliche, but it truly allowed me to be like, okay, like this is how I feel or this is coming up. And I started to like get these cravings for red meat.

And I was like, you know, no chicken. No, not none of that is like calling me.

But like a steak is like I'm like drooling in my meditation. So you dove in the deep end. I was, I didn't. I was like, okay, let's incorporate fish. Because a lot of people, Western medicine doctors, holistic doctors, anyone from all different kind of areas in the health space,

advised me to add in some animal protein to try. So I started to eat fish for that year. And then this year I was like, I really think I need to lean into that craving and

So it's only been literally like five times I've eaten steak and I'm trying to introduce it every like other week into my diet and like maybe eggs too. And I'm also like, yeah, I am sharing my experience on social media and I'm sharing that like, yeah, these cravings are happening, but like there's still a part of me that's like really sad, right?

that I have to do that because I love the vegan lifestyle so much, but I think it's okay to not have to put yourself into a box. And I also think it's okay to not, or to go from,

one lifestyle to another, like shifting that. Like maybe one day I will only be eating plants again, but I don't think I have to put this crazy pressuring title on myself as vegan because then a vegan sees me eating, you know, a fish taco and I'm about to be canceled for a lifetime. No, but I think that

Yeah, I think I love a plant-focused diet. I think that that's so important. But I think that some people got to just listen to their bodies and do what's best for them, you know? I also think it's great to show the gray area because on social media, things are so black and white. It's like it's good or it's bad, but it's okay to be...

you know, introducing something for your health, but not necessarily for your morals. You know, you can have that in between feeling. How is your body feeling after trying animal products, by the way? Feels good. Like right when I did it, I was like, oh, I'm probably going to feel weird or sick or grossed out eating animal. Mm hmm.

And I enjoyed it a lot. Amazing. Yeah, I mean, I did. I mean, your food looks incredible. That egg sandwich you ate, I'm like, I can see it right now. Oh, glorious. Also, it's like, it's, you know, I always said, like, I'm going to start introducing meat, but I'm not going to go to an Outback Steakhouse. And like, you know what I mean? I can't picture you there, I will say. I can't picture Alyssa Lynch at an Outback Steakhouse. That's why I was like...

I'm at the place now too, you know, five years ago me, I know that certain things can be out of someone's price range, but I am at the place in my life where like my spendings are on food and food.

expensive wellness things because that's where I spoil myself. It's not like designer bags. And that's for someone who's passionate about fashion, that's freaking awesome. But this is my passion. And I am now in the place where I can go to like, go find like the best meat at the farmer's market to, you know, make that fashion.

for to make some steak tacos on that like once every other weekday that I'm eating it. Do you know what I mean? A hundred percent. I really do think that investing in food is one of the best things that you can do because spending money on your health

it's gonna help you in the long run, right? - Yeah, exactly. And there's just so, you know, like we listened to all of the health and kind of more like science-based health podcasts or follow those people on social media. And it's just so important now. Like I can't imagine living like the lifestyle I used to live that there's such like ignorance to certain things. And it's just, it can be so overwhelming to hear about

all of the healthy habits and trends and wellness trends to keep up with. But it's like, once you just start adding those habits into your life, like one by one, it's so easy to stack those habits and not even think like, oh, I got to do this now. Like you just do it. You just wake up and you know that you're going to take that supplement or you're going to make your greens and then you're going to go move your body. Like it's just natural. I want to talk about the hormone balance.

balancing journey because you mentioned gaining healthy weight back and some of the things you had to do in order to get your period. And I think a lot of women are in the same position that we were in. I mean, I think it's a hormone epidemic because a lot of the women I speak to here in the office, people our age, they've all been on birth control for years and years and years. They're on spironolactone. They're

Their hormones are messed up. They're just superficially covering it up with something. And I think a lot of girls are scared to slow down the workouts, maybe increase their fats or their meat. Like it can be kind of intimidating. How did you approach that? And how has it affected your body image along the way? Well, first I want to say I failed a thousand million times and I still do. Like it's not a...

There's no just end goal. You're healed. You're only doing low impact. And you're just like, I feel like you see so much of that on TikTok where you're like, I was doing this and now I'm just walking and I feel great. I mean, maybe for some people, but for me, no, it's like, Alyssa, you've done three days in a row of some high intensity classes and you're going against everything you preach. So let's reel it back in. And then I will and I'll be proud of myself. But it's an ongoing process.

journey, you know, but, but I definitely like made changes and I do have to give myself credit for that. I think that my nervous system was just in such a fight or flight and that can also affect your hormones because I wasn't taking birth control or anything like that. And I

everyone has their own thing. Like I'm not against birth control for people. If they need to do that, they need to do that. But I will say like, I think there's such a beautiful thing with trying to figure out what's like really going on in your body and how to like work things out without that. But yeah, I think I started to like

ask myself, like, what do you need right now? And like getting super in tune versus what is gonna like make us

my adrenaline feel great because that that can feel good and it can confuse you. But I think like meditation slowing down allows you to like really ask yourself those questions. So I definitely did do a lot more walking, a lot more reformer Pilates and mat Pilates and

I feel like with working out too, I used to like work out so high intensity and like be thinking about everything else, but working out, like be, you know, like be thinking in my head, like what am I going to do tomorrow? What am I just to get through the workout? And then switching to being like super intentional and being like, I'm working out my arm right now. And it feels okay. I feel that muscle, like the whole mind to muscle thing is so powerful. You start to feel stronger and yeah,

you're not exhausting your body, but you're gaining strength. And I think the body knows that and it feels empowered and your nervous system is not so out of whack. I think working out is an opportunity to be mindful and almost view it as a meditation.

Because if you're focused on the breathing and the individual muscle and not, oh my God, I have to do this, this and this today. You're actually getting the benefit from the workout beyond the physical impact. Exactly. And then also you see that muscle start to define. And that is like, that I think is what helped my body image so much was it's like,

oh, I'm not just over exhausting myself to drop a pant size. Like,

That's not very empowering to like be intentional with and commit. It's harder to commit to 45 minutes of intentional work and you're proud of yourself after. Then you look in the mirror and like because there's always a physical side to it. Like for me, I'm always going to work out. Yes, for my mind. But I also want to look good and feel good.

And like looking in the mirror and being like, oh my gosh, I have a little booty muscle growing. It's a great feeling. Oh yeah. Growing rather than shrinking. Exactly. So much more fun. So much more fun. And like getting a little shoulder moment. So fun. Yes. I used to be an actress. And I honestly, to any stranger, I would say I was an actress until probably right the year 2000.

before the pandemic. So just like a couple of years ago, I finally started to just own what I truly do now. It took me a while, but now I say that I work in social media and I work with brands in the wellness space mostly. I grew up being very interested in the entertainment industry always, which was very random because like nobody else in my family is in that industry. And I think like

When I graduated high school, finally, I had been acting for like my high school life. And then right when I graduated, I wanted to take it more seriously. So I booked my first movie like in my last year of high school. And then...

Just was honestly hosting and serving tables to make enough money to move to L.A. And once I packed up my car with my best friend at the time, we packed up her car, we drove out to L.A. and we came out here for what's called pilot season. Pilot season is like January to March. It doesn't really exist as much anymore just because the film and TV world has changed so much. But

It used to be kind of like us Canadians would come out to L.A. for January to March and audition for like a bunch of different pilots that were hopefully going to be picked up. I did even book some of the pilots. Not all of them make it to a network, but it was such a fun and amazing experience and I truly loved it so much. And then I took a break from acting just because I

You know, acting is, it can be such a beautiful experience, but also you are just not in control of the people you're around, what your life may look like. Like it was just always being on call. And I was like, okay, I'm auditioning for this series that films six years in Atlanta and I have to sign my life away for six years in Atlanta and move there. I don't know anyone there. And your

You're like waiting and hoping for this opportunity. But also like in my head, I was like, wait, do I even want that? Like, do I want that life because of this craft that I love so much? And I think that I really started to ask myself those questions. And once I was introduced to the social media world where these people were able to still have that artistic side to them, but be more in control of themselves

their day-to-day life and their opportunities and the money that they could potentially make and not just let it be in the hands of someone else and be like waiting constantly, that was so attractive to me. And I was like, you know what? Why don't I just try this? And that's kind of how I made that. I just made that change. And also I did a movie and it

It was just not a positive environment. Everyone was just like really rushed to get this movie done.

I mean, people were pulling all-nighters and who knows what they were doing to pull those all-nighters. And I just left so depleted. And I was like, I want to live life to the fullest. I want to live like a positive life. I want to be around people who make me want to be a better person and vice versa. And so that's kind of when I put the acting career to bed. What was it like to be a young woman in an environment where looks are so important?

Yeah, I mean, there was definitely quite a lot of pressure on that. I remember, too, going into—it was more so like the acting and modeling world, I feel like. They were—when I was, like, 12 or something, I did, like, this— I feel like maybe it was just an interview for an agency that was, like, a hybrid between modeling and acting. And I was 12, and I remember them—

saying like, you know, she's probably going to have to lose about 20 pounds. And, you know, you just like, don't forget things like that. And my mom was, my mom was like, we're going to go. Yeah, we're going. And I was like, yep, we're going. Like we didn't give that person the time of day and we left. And my mom is just like, I, I'm so grateful. I have like

what I believe is just the best mom to exist. She never, ever, ever like put any type of pressure on me to be or look or any type of way. And she always, you know, asked me like, are you sure you want to do this? Like she was the opposite of a stage mom or a dance mom. I mean, I would be like, I want to do it. You're going to let me do it. And I'm going into that audition by myself. You stay in the car. I want to do this by myself.

So I was always like the kid to going into these situations without a parent because I would literally tell my mom, please wait in the car. And everyone else like had their, you know, their mom being like, do this. Do this, Susan. Do this, you know. And but yeah, I definitely remember those comments. And I don't think that I realized they were really getting to me until I was probably about like,

and decided to move to L.A. and then realized like, yeah, there's just there was a lot of pressure. And I did feel like sometimes, to be honest, when I was

looked a certain way that more opportunities were coming to me, which was really sad and confusing. I look back at it now and I'm like, I truly think that it was the confidence that it brought me to look a certain way

that brought those opportunities to me versus actually being like a certain size or something like that. But I go back and forth. I'm not really sure what the right answer to that is, but it definitely put a lot of pressure and I feel like it's been a constant journey to kind of unwire those things from my brain and find like

the self-love that is so needed. Yeah. And I feel like you're in such a different place now. I mean, you really emulate wellness all around and balance too. What would you say were the first steps to getting to that place of self-love? Because I think a lot of women listening are going to relate to your situation. I mean, honestly, I feel like the first step is truly just like looking at how you're speaking to yourself.

That, I don't think some people realize how they speak to themselves. And I don't just mean like, you know, the terrible things that we can sometimes do when we're having like a really bad day. But even on just like the average day, when you wake up and you say like, oh, I slept in. Oh, of course I did that again. Or like, Alyssa, like, why do you always do this? Or just things like that. Like, I'm sure I was...

I was always trying to like change the dialogue because like I said, I always have been so passionate about like being around people who want to better themselves and just truly me wanting to be the best version of myself. And mind you, like there was all these pressures of looking a certain way, but like, did that mean to like have really bad habits to try and make myself look

smaller size or to try and, you know, put a bunch of makeup on to like look older or whatever. I think like I tried so hard to just be like, no, what is going to make me feel good today? Because truly when I feel good, I look good to people.

You know what I mean? If you ever think about when you compliment someone, when you go up to someone and you compliment someone and you're like, you're glowing, you look amazing. It's truly because you can tell that they feel amazing. You know what I mean? It's almost like that glow, that energy that they're putting off. And so I feel like speaking to yourself

And being your own hype woman. And it doesn't mean like, yeah, you look amazing. You look great. That stuff's good too. But just like,

kindness in the way that you that your like inner dialogue. I love that. Yeah. All such good advice. I was like, OK, what am I passionate about right now? But also that's kind of been that I think I will always be passionate about. And that was like wellness because I was like, I need wellness like I need it right now. And I've always felt very into health and wellness and trends and

and diet and all of that. But I was like, oh, I need like major healing right now. So I started to share that experience and definitely went more into like the spirituality side because I just feel like, you know, when you're going through something to turn to like the universe or God or a higher power is like a beautiful thing to not have it all just rely on yourself. And so I started to share a lot of that and the –

the response from the audience like was amazing. And it just made me feel so empowered. And that's kind of what helped me grow this business that I have today with like helping brands that really stand for wellness and working with them and connecting people to other people and like

people that might want to heal as well in any capacity or just be better to themselves, like connecting them to the right people or to the right products or to the right brands. Like that's definitely what led me to today. I think that's incredible. A lot of people find their purpose through pain, myself included. I think sometimes we need to hit that rock bottom point to realize our

our true passions and our true purpose. Like in reality, you found how you can contribute to so many people by speaking about your struggles and finding your passion. - Right. - Sharing wellness online can be really tricky because as we know, people are very opinionated nowadays. How do you handle negative feedback if you get any? - Well, first I think that I've always been pretty good with it.

I've always had that mindset of like, I rather share what I truly mean and take a risk. I like taking risks sometimes. Like sometimes I look at myself and I'm like, Alyssa, you probably shouldn't have opened your mouth. But I've just always been the person that like, I just kind of want to challenge and I want to like speak my mind and then like

I mean, especially before this whole cancel culture, I was a lot better with it. I would just kind of speak my mind. And if someone had anything to say, I would be like, okay, yeah, hold me accountable. Like that's a great point. Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that or given that tip because that could trigger someone or whatever it may be now.

It's a little different because everyone's just trying to like cancel someone, which we don't like. And I do try though still to be sensitive to people's feelings and what people might be going through. But truly it's just like if I'm speaking from my own experience of what makes me feel good, and I always try and like reiterate that, like I am just saying what makes me feel good and

And I also really try when I give any type of advice

I just try and be as honest as possible. And I just kind of try and like put it out there without while I'm going through an experience and like not just after so that people can kind of feel that like connection to if that makes sense. Yeah, no, it makes total sense. Let's talk about the breakup. Yeah. First of all, how are we doing? How are we feeling? We're feeling good. Yeah. Yeah. Glowing girl. Thank you.

I've like really, truly never been single. I was single before my last relationship for like technically for about a year and a half. And I think I went on two dates. I was just so not in my feminine.

so not open to it at all, was very fearful about it. When you say not in your feminine, we've been talking about this like feminine slash masculine era on the podcast. Can you explain what your view of that is? Yeah. Well, I think that was a huge thing that made me realize I had been in the masculine, was doing the experience with Jess Stone.

Because for me, like masculine energy is a lot of hustle, a lot of planning. I think what the pandemic did to a lot of women is put us in this state of like girl boss mode, which is so beautiful. And I think like a lot of people

thrived off of it, got really rich and successful. I love that for them. And also a lot of us got a little screwed up from it because I think it put us in this go, go, go mentality. And the feminine to me is the opposite. It's not planning so much. It's flowing and being intuitive and

and feeling into what you might want to do that day, even if you work a nine to five, like just, oh, I'm going to like wake up and I'm not going to work out today. I'm going to go walk later. Not always following like a plan and being open to spontaneity. And that was something I had completely not had in my life whatsoever. It doesn't allow me

I think like you to always tune into your sexual side as well. And that was exactly...

the state I was in even before the pandemic, before my relationship, just because of, I think all of like the hormone issues and the just hustle taking care of people, but like taking care of people, not in just like a nurturing, like I'm gonna cook for you way. Like, oh, I need to like work hard so that I can like provide. And like, that's a very masculine energy and we all have both and we need a good balance of both, but

Right now, I'm stepping into that feminine. I am like, I don't even know what I want my job to be anymore. If you were to tell me that a year ago, it would have given me so much anxiety. And I am just like, I'm okay. I'm going to be okay. I'm just kind of...

exploring this like new self and just like playing with it and having fun. I absolutely love that. And I think that's so inspiring because we are inundated, even for me with my own company, I go through these ebbs and flows of feeling like,

really empowered being in these big rooms with big people making big decisions. But then I have these moments where I kind of want to be a little bit more free and flow with how I'm feeling. And luckily I have a partner who is obsessed with business and, you know, wants to do this for the rest of his life. So I kind of have the freedom to come on here and talk about different topics and talk about how I'm feeling. And go ride your horses. Like that's probably such a

to self feeling for you, which is probably very feminine. A hundred percent. You're so present. It makes me think of us in like a tribe. Yeah. Like what were we doing in our tribe? Yes. Picking berries. Right. Riding into the woods. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what you were doing. You were like going back to our roots. Yeah.

No, but even I was thinking about how I went to a wedding and we were dancing until four in the morning in Italy. And that sounds so bougie, but like. No, you were. So cool that I got to do that. I want to talk about the girl trip. Yeah. First of all, the girl trip was a moment on social media. Yeah. Like I think everyone was talking about it because you and all your girlfriends. First of all, you were kind of all going through like a breakup. I know. Like.

Like almost all of you. I don't know what happened. There was one person was getting married. And then everyone else is back and I'm just the only one left. Well, tell me about the girl trip. Like was it a very healing moment? Like what was that doing for you in the time? Post breakup, needing to be around just girls. And then also like going to Italy, which I had never been to before. And like...

not really. It's such a privilege. I just want to say I am not like I don't like spend summers in Italy drinking wine and eating baguettes like some people do. And that's I love that for them. But this was my first time. It was so cool. Like it was a pinch me moment every single second. But yeah, to have like wine and bread at every meal and just not really have a plan.

was the most freaking healing thing ever to dance with all of my girlfriends. And it could not have come at a better time. And I used to like if I was at a wedding dancing at 2 a.m., I would be looking at my phone and the time and being like, but I need to wake up at seven because I have to work out. I got to go home. And I would always. And this time I was like,

I don't even care if I have to wake up at seven. I'll do it and we'll figure it out. Like, I'm so proud of you for that because I know I've known you pretty well for like

I think over a year now or so. And I know both of us can be kind of regimented with nutrition and especially in the wellness space with the job that we have. So easy to overthink everything and also to limit yourself socially. Totally. And watching you just live your best life, dance in the rain, eat your pasta, have your gelato. I was so happy for you and watching you do that. Thank you.

There were some spicy rumors flying around the internet. Oh, me and Sam? About you and Sammy. I have to ask. I feel like I played into that one more. Sam doesn't read any comments or anything. I read everything because I'm toxic like that. And I just love to like, you know,

Just cry and laugh at all the things being said about me. But I was like playing into it. And I was like, Sam, do you know that like people think we're dating and I'm like so playing into it. Like I'm like posting the most PDA things of us. I knew it. Just because it's fun. I was like.

People asked me if you guys were dating. I mean, we actually really just do act like that in real life. You do because I've been around you guys when you're like just very close. Yeah. And we were with 16 people on this trip in Italy. And the joke was like we were sharing a room and the couple next to us, Ben and Bale, they were like, we heard some shaking over there. What were you guys getting up to last night?

Like it was just an ongoing joke because like I'd be like feeding her pasta and our noses would be touching and we would be, yeah, like dancing in the rain in our own little world. But I also think we were both like going through something and just really leaning on each other. And Italy is a very romantic place and we were with a bunch of couples. So it was just like, hey, we're going to make out right now. Yeah.

I think I saw that on the close friend story. I was like, because at that point I was like, well, maybe, maybe they are. I wasn't quite sure. And then the wedding photos were so gorgeous. And with you two together in the yellow dresses, I was like, this might be happening. Yeah. Honestly, that rumor is one that I am so proud of. That's probably my favorite thing that's ever happened in terms of like, because it's

I feel like as like wellness girls in Venice, there's not that much tea or drama ever. So I appreciated that little spice. I'm like, come on, gals. Let's rough it up a little bit. Come on. I'll do it. I'm the one now. I'm like, here, I'll space it up for all of you. I love that for you. It was giving like real housewives. Yeah. I'm obsessed. Great. I love that. So at what point did you know it was time to end the relationship?

For anyone listening who's maybe having an inkling of like... I actually knew during our last recording. Stop. Yeah. That's why maybe you didn't bring it up that much. Yeah, I knew, but I still just... I actually made a decision in November to end it, which I've never shared that, but it was just so...

It was just so taxing. And also I cared about this person more than anything and realized like, you know, you see those quotes all the time, like you can't fix someone. And it was my bad that I thought I was powerful enough to do so because you aren't for anyone listening. Like you have to let that person do it on their own. And it was kind of time, you know, four years, three and a half years at that point, I guess.

I was like, yeah, I'm realizing that this is way, way beyond my, like anything I can do to help. And I also was just like, I think that I am just capable of living a light, fun, bright, beautiful life. And,

It wasn't. It just didn't feel like that at all. It felt very hard. So I made that decision. And then in the new year, to be honest, things kind of started to change. And I felt like there was changes being made. And this kind of happened a few times throughout the relationship. And I was holding on to hope again because I just had like the most love, respect, and

And then it was in March that unfortunately, I think, you know how they say like you wear love goggles and then when you take them off, you're like, what's going on? Yeah, like rose tinted glasses. Yeah, there was like certain situations that came up that made me start to take those goggles off. And I think that like side of me in November that was like so clear on it

Like I was reminded of that state and I was just like, OK, like it needs to end. And since it's ended, like when I ended the relationship, I had no idea if it would be done forever. Of course, I feel like for your relationship, like if you end it, I don't know, you're kind of like sometimes a lot of the time holding on to hope. But since then, it's been extremely validating that it was absolutely and utterly the right thing to do.

That's a great way of putting it. Yeah. What red flags should the girlies be looking out for from the beginning? I would say, I would definitely say to make sure someone is wanting to be as invested in your life as they want you to be invested in their life, friends, family, work,

That's important that they want to be a part of your circle and not just have you be a part of theirs. I also think that their commitment to their own mental health and health in general and personal development and growth, if you're interested in that, is very important because you cannot continue to push someone to do that for themselves.

And I would also just say, if you feel like you are being gaslit in any way at any time, you are. So listen to your gut. I love that. I actually did an intro for this episode before you got here, but I was saying you are such a bright light and such a giver. Just in the time that I've known you, you are so caring. Like one of the most caring people I've known to your friends, to everyone you're around. And I think...

watching you in that situation and just hearing about what was going on and then now seeing you in your feminine era you are just so much you just seem free and it's obvious to everyone around you I think how much happier you are yeah yeah which is it's a really um you know I had a little bit of like guilt and shame being like oh my goodness I feel so bad that I wasn't

in that state in like, cause it feels right. This feels like me for so long, but also you can't like dwell on that and taking it as just like, I'm so grateful that I had that experience to grow from and that I can give so easily now.

Like before I was always a giver, but it took so much energy from me. And now it just like lifts me up because I have so much more space. Yeah. Yeah. So what would you say looking forward is next? Are we dating? Yeah, we're dating for the first time. I'm like awkward and...

I don't know how it works. And I'm just asking all my friends, what do you do? And how do you handle this? But it's fun. Are you on Raya? No. Not that I'm against that, but I'm just not yet. How do you go about... I wouldn't even know where to start. People are just setting me up. So I'm just leaning into that right now. But I just feel like a kid. I feel like an 18-year-old kid.

which I don't know if it's a good thing, but I'm like... Well, if you've been in relationships for such a long time and also have lived kind of a regimented lifestyle, you probably want to lean into this moment and just have fun. Yeah, playful. Yeah, 100%. It's fun. It's great. And maybe from doing these podcasts, people are hearing you're single and just sliding in the DMs. Hopefully. Maybe. I mean, I have a very female-heavy audience, so... It's fine. Females, welcome. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Clearly. Okay, let's see what the girlies had to ask in the Q&A. Okay. How did you two become friends? How did we become friends? Where did we meet? All I knew was I was instantly obsessed with you. No. I...

You know, if you heard the way I talk behind your back, I'm sorry. It's getting cheesy. But I don't talk about anyone the way I talk about you. I'm like, I love her. I'm obsessed. I get really passionate about it. You're so sweet. And I say the same things about you. Wow. Because people ask me about you and I'm like, she's an angel. Actually, I've had a couple of guys ask me about you. Yeah, a chef, a French chef. Oh, I'm going to set that up. A chef. He cooks really well.

That would be... Yeah, after your Italy era. I literally, I think we must have met at an event. We must have. And then met up for coffee or something. Yeah. Because you were like one of the first people I met in the wellness space. I remember. Deus. We went to coffee.

Dose? Deus? You call it Deus? I call it Deus. I call it Deus. That was our first coffee date? It was. No way. But we had been like, we followed each other, we're talking, and then we finally met for coffee. No, you're 100% right. Yeah. I feel like I was nervous. I feel like I was nervous too. Cute. I think I ordered an iced coffee. I never order iced coffee. Yeah, you like panicked. Yeah. I'll get a cake. There's going to be rumors that we're dating. I know. That's fine. That's fine. A little controversy. Great.

Do you miss living in Canada and would you ever move back? No. Great. Yeah, just a hard no. Shout out Canada. Yeah. What does your perfect morning look like? My perfect morning would be probably wake up and have some time for like make coffee. I'm reading The Artist's Way right now. So morning pages are a thing where you just like kind of...

mumbo jumbo, whatever's on your mind out on the page for three pages. And so I'd do that, maybe a little breath work situation, and then probably go and do a nice workout of some sort or walk. Cute. Yeah. Simple. Drop that skincare routine, sister. Mm.

skincare routine. Favorite brand? Clear Stem. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah, it's genuinely like, yes, I do work with them, but like I didn't until I was obsessed with them. And it's kind of the only one like I consistently use. I have a couple of products from other brands that I like that I'll use like a couple of times a week. But that and Christy Kidd

like everything of hers. I see her for hydro facials and that helps so much. And then her...

retinol I just started using. So like a TBD on that, but apparently it's amazing. So I really trust her and ClearStem. Yeah, your skin looks incredible. Thank you. And it's cool to hear you say you use ClearStem because you don't really have acne prone skin. Yeah. But clearly it's like great for all types. Yeah, I developed dermatitis, which like was all just these like weird little dots around here. And that's when I like

Was like, okay, you can't just slap a Neutrogena face wipe on your face and like put some drugstore lotion on because I would do that before and just have perfect skin. So that's when I was like, okay, I really need to find stuff that's good for sensitive skin. And like, I kid you not, I use someone else's cleanser. Bumps come back.

Yeah, Clear Stem's great. I recently went through everything I use on my face, makeup included, and put it in a website to see on what scale how toxic it is for acne. Mycosis, makeup.

makeup. I had to throw it out. Throw it out. I was putting that Kosas concealer all over my acne every day, every single day. Milk concealer. That one's my favorite. MLK or just M-I-L-K? M-I-L-K. Okay. Yeah, that one's really good. I'm using Celeste told me to use RMS. Oh, I just got some of their stuff. It's fire.

I just got their new skin tint sunscreen. Yeah, so good. Oh, yay. I use the foundation every day. Obsessed. Very clean. Okay, great. Good to know. I had to wear makeup on a plane for the first time, which is my worst fear for some reason. Why did you have to wear makeup on a plane? Because I had a meeting on a plane.

which is so crazy so cool no no i'm living like a different life it's bizarre i feel like i'm in a movie and i had to wear makeup and i was like oh my god i want to die but i wore the rms and i'm fine it was great yeah wow survived made it out the other side okay ordering order thank you yep you're welcome rms recommendations for vitamins and supplements that you take every day that one's hard because i just feel like it's so personal but i will say i do think

Almost everyone could thrive off of magnesium. And I love moon juices, magnesium powder. I take it every single night. Like I would never miss a night ever. I want to try that. It's amazing. It helps with bowel movements too, right? Like so much. It has magnesium citrate in it, which really helps with...

digestion going to the bathroom, but it also has L-theanine and another type of magnesium that just helps like calm and relax. And I really like JS Health vitamins. I think that they're Australian, so a little more

promising than some American brands I also really like Array those are more so for me when I'm like feeling a specific thing like oh I feel bloated I'm gonna take this not as much like daily situations cool

I feel like what we do now would be considered like kind of granola crunchy back then. Totally. Right? Oh. I mean, maybe still a little. No. Some of the stuff I do is still very granola crunchy. But no, for sure. I feel like even, you know, your Bloom's greens powder, like that greens powder is like everyone needs a greens powder. I know. I feel like that's like people talk about that all the time. Like, oh, I should take a greens powder for sure. Yeah.

If we were to talk about that in 2017, I feel like people would be like, a powder? No. Maybe a green juice, but that was pushing it. Oh, yeah. It was like whey protein. Whey protein and that's it. Right, right. Yeah. I mean, I think it's evolved so much. I mean, the space in general is constantly evolving. Yeah. And I...

I just constantly I always feel like I'm a little behind sometimes on like some trends and some like especially before this year. I'm trying to get better at it and really like let my ego go and like listen to the Gen Z's and like be like, what are you guys doing? Because you're doing it right. That was the perfect soundbite. I'm obsessed with what you just said. Listen to the Gen Z's. No, I'm with you. They know.

Post breakup, what are you looking for in your next partner? Okay, so in my next partner, I would say I'm really looking for, I know this sounds cheesy, but someone who's going to bring out that kind of like light funness in me. And I think that would mean just someone who kind of

Has a positive, spontaneous mindset and is adaptable to situations and can just make the best out of situations. Who really gets along with my friends and family, puts in work for that and, you

am very and always have been attracted to someone with not to get vain but good style as well as someone who's very like passionate about their work and hobbies. I see that for you. Yeah. I feel like I mean how old are you? 28.

I feel like if you're looking for a long-term partner, it should be someone you want to have fun with. Right? Yeah, I want to laugh more. Yeah. I love that. I think you're going to find that, whether it's here or in Italy, if you go back to Italy. Yeah, wherever. But we're going to manifest that for you. Alyssa, thank you so much for coming back. Thank you for having me. We love you. I love you guys. And we're very proud of you. Thank you.

Thank you for listening to today's episode. Go comment on my last Instagram at Mari Llewellyn with the guest you want to see next. I'll be picking one person from the comments to send our bloom greens to. Make sure you hit follow so you never miss my weekly episodes. If you enjoyed the conversation, be sure to share and leave a review. See you next week. Please

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