EP43: Body On The Beltway
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All right, welcome back to another episode of the Psychopedia Podcast. I am your co-host, Hank Sinatra, here with my one-year-old partner in true crime. Investigators later. How was your birthday? I'm not answering that. Why? Oh, because... You don't mean to really ask. You're just doing it. I... And I'm not answering. So listen to me. I was thinking about that today, on the way here. Okay. I was like...

I wonder if I should ask her how her birthday was or if that's going to be an annoying question because I'm sure it was good and nice and fucking whatever. Not annoying to me because I'm a normal person. So how was your birthday? Oh, it was great. Thank you so much for asking. What did you do? Well, am I allowed to get into it or are you just asking to be, you know, I don't know. You are. To pretend to be normal. You are, but make it quick. All right. It was a great birthday. I overdosed on sushi and ice cream and then I had indigestion all night like a true 41-year-old would.

That is very 41. Yes, I know. Congratulations. Thank you. You made it to the indigestion portion of the evening. Not great. No. Oh, you've never had it before? I've obviously experienced indigestion in my life, but it was just so timely that it should happen on my 41st birthday, like hard. Hard. Because I ate a little too much. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can see that. Yeah. I mean, I try not to do that anymore, but... Yeah. No, I had a great birthday and my kids made me such...

amazing cards. It all had to do with psychopedia. Yeah. They like know me so well. I posted this on Instagram, but for anybody who doesn't follow us, my little one gave me a fake little alligator. Yeah. For investigator Slater. Yeah. So cute. And then my other son made me a fake case, the case of the dead flower for me to like run with. Are we going to cover it? I mean, I'm going to have to create something now. Maybe that's the book. Maybe. Maybe.

Ooh, yeah. Twisty and turny. Speaking of twisty and turny. Yes. Today's case, very twisty, very turny. How apropos. Giving you the heads up. Yes. I don't know if anybody else is experiencing this right now. I feel like the whole world probably is, but I know they're not. My lips are so fucking chapped. I want to rip them off of my face. My son was literally in the bath and soaped.

touched his lips and he was like, oh, God. They're so raw. Oh, oh, he's your chap too. Yes, yes. I haven't had chapped lips like this since I was like 12 years old. You also use chapstick like an insane person. No, I don't. I don't. I have it always. I know. I always see it with you on your person. I swear to you, I have it always because I was traumatized when I was 12 years old and my lips started burning in like first period of...

seventh grade and i couldn't get any relief until i got home that's why in napoleon dynamite when he calls and asks for chapstick i fucking lost it he's like but my lips hurt real bad i was like oh my god it's universal another great line from that movie yeah when the kid in his class goes napoleon give me some of your tots and he goes no go find your own go find your own for where tater tots i

I know. There's a lot of great lines in that movie. Two more things. One is very fast. I was watching, I don't even remember something on YouTube, but the guy pronounced prelude, prelude. Nope. And it made me think of you. Oh, oh, I'm going to go back on my word and say, it's okay, man. We all make mistakes. Prelude.

Who gave you the right, sir? I went to Starbucks and ordered myself an oatmeal cappuccino by mistake. Oatmeal. Instead of oat milk. That's going to be a Patreon name, I'm sure. Okay. Also, just for the Patreon people, patreon.com slash psychopedia pod. When you guys tell me that I have said something that was so funny that it embarrassed you in public, I don't know what it is. You have to tell me what it is that I said. Because it seems like very often...

People will say like, oh, I was dying at, you know, it's not like they'll just say a word. I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Well, somebody on Patreon said that they were dying, listening to me dying. Yeah. Yeah. And I went back to listen to the part, but I had to go through the whole episode to find the part that she was referring to. And what part was that again?

You were trying again to talk about The Walking Dead. Oh, yeah. And again, you could not arrive at your point. And for some reason, I lost my shit. The point is... I don't remember. The point is, Psychopedia Unhinged is a real good time. Yeah, it is. And if you like what you're getting here and you think we can do better, guess what? We can. According to me, I think it's better. What else matters? What else matters except laughs? Hank's opinion and mic drop.

No. Your opinion matters. I'm sure you like this better. I do. Yeah, that's fine. I wouldn't fight you on that. And just one final thought. I had a dream last night that we had a live show and Jay-Z opened up. Oh, Mike. Was it a wet dream? No. There was a pool, though. And

And let me tell you why I think that happened. So we were picking something to watch on Netflix last night. And you know Netflix, like, if you don't pick something or if you don't keep scrolling, they're like, fuck you, this is what's happening. These are your options. No, they just start playing it. Yeah, yeah. They just start, like, audio and video and whatever. I happened to stop on Gladiator. Mm-hmm. And the part that started playing was, are you not entertained? Amazing. Are you not entertained? Do you remember the first time you heard that? Is this not why you're here? And I go, uh.

Spaniard, Spaniard. Turn the music up. Turn me down. And Jessica was like, what the fuck is happening right now? She had no idea. I said, this time it's for the money, my friend. Brooklyn, stand up. Psychopedia is the headline in the show that I'm opening on. Amazing. Unbelievable. Your words to God's ears. Really fun time. Your dreams to God's ears. But without further... Spaniard, Spaniard.

I would like to be entertained. Let's go. By this case that you're about to drop on me. It is a curious facet of human nature that we harbor a morbid fascination for the macabre, an innate draw toward the darker aspects of existence. This curiosity is an ancient companion to our species, a trait that has been passed down through generations.

And the UFC. Yeah.

and the UFC. We as a collective peer into the abyss of suffering and death with a peculiar magnetism. This fascination may be rooted in several facets of our psyche. It could be our way of confronting the fragility of our existence, a subconscious reminder that life is fleeting and unpredictable. It might serve as a coping mechanism, which we've talked about before, allowing us to process the grim realities of existence and prepare ourselves for the inevitable.

Or perhaps it is a manifestation of our desire for narrative, the irresistible allure of stories that encapsulate the human condition in its most extreme forms. However, there is an undeniable transformation that occurs when this fascination ceases to be a distant specter

spectacle and instead becomes a personal reality. The morbid allure loses its allure when it lands on our doorstep. Morbid allure loses its allure when it lands on our door step. Nice. M&M. That was an M&M scheme. When tragedy strikes close to home, we find ourselves grappling with the stark, unfiltered experience of suffering and loss. It is here in the crucible of personal pain that we realize the true weight of

of human suffering.

And no one can understand this sentiment, the fact that human suffering becomes real when it's on your doorstep, more profoundly than a man named Sherman Jones, who one morning turned on the news for his daily dose of distressing headlines, detailing tragedies and suffering on a global scale, only to discover that the victim at the center of that day's breaking news coverage was none other than his own daughter.

Can I interject? Yes, sir. When I became a parent, I realized, I think, that's why people rubberneck specifically. I'm talking specifically about rubbernecking on the road at a traffic accident. I think they're looking to see if they know the person in the accident. I know that I've done that for sure. But it was only after I got married and I had kids and I actually started to care about somebody besides myself. All right. Yeah. To me, that's actually like an acceptable reason to slow down and watch. Yeah.

But generally, I think people get a kick out of it. No, I don't think so. Not in a good way. I'm not saying they're enjoying it, eating popcorn and like, you know, having a good time. Pull over. Let's watch this person die. But I think that there is a draw and there's a little bit of a thrill that people experience. I personally don't, but I think it's because I make a conscious effort to be like, there's a human being involved in that tragedy. This is not a sport. Keep driving. I don't.

I don't disagree with you that some people might get, thrill is probably not the right word, but some, like you said, magnetism. Yes. They're just drawn to it for a variety of reasons. Right. Who knows? People are complicated. But I think one of those reasons for some. Yes. Is thrill.

Today, we are examining the tragic case of a beloved 21-year-old woman who wound up dead on the side of a major highway in North Carolina, drained of nearly all of her blood. This is the harrowing, complex, heartbreaking case of Latrice Curtis.

In an attempt to leverage my fabulous co-host strengths, particularly in managing ADHD, we're going to bounce around a bit in terms of structure and timeline. Perfect. So instead of beginning with a detailed account of Latrice Curtis's upbringing, our starting point today will be shortly before her tragic death. And then from there, we're going to navigate back. We're going to then go forward. So just buckle up. I mean...

I am unbuckled, first of all. Second of all, you can bounce wherever you want. Super. And I will be the better for it. Excellent. After graduating high school, Latrice Curtis, originally from Raleigh, North Carolina, embarked on a rigorous academic journey with a clear goal in mind, to become an accountant. Her pursuit of education took her first to Bennett College from 2004 to 2005.

a period that marked her initial experience of living independently away from her parents, Sherman and Cynthia Jones. Latrice shared an exceptionally close bond with her father, Sherman, who affectionately referred to his daughter throughout childhood as daddy's little boy in a dress. They did everything together when Latrice was little, from fishing and hunting to playing basketball to lying around the house together.

Latrice, or Treece as Sherman would call her, was truly always by her father's side, like a shadow, he would say. But like every parent privileged enough to watch their child grow, Sherman knew he needed to leave enough room for his daughter to spread her wings and become the person she was meant to become.

As Latrice embarked upon her own self-determined path in life, Sherman always remained firmly in her corner, though never in her way. Nice. Very fucking nice. Yes. Very hard to do as a parent. No, the writing. Oh, thanks, man. You're really vibing today. He remained in her corner, but never in her way? Yeah. I got to tell you, I like that line too. You made that up? Yes. When I wrote that line, I was like, that's powerful. You got to pause.

While attending college for accounting, Latrice also worked part-time in human resources at Sears, located in the Triangle Town Center Mall. Old school. Do you remember Sears by in our town? Yeah. Oh, man. It was a rough place. It had the wall, though, inside? The music store, the wall? Well, that was the Sears Mall. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Sears inside the Sears Mall. Yeah, Sears where you could buy tires or a flannel shirt. Or get a gyro. Or get a gyro. Right? My God. Right.

Oh my God. I'm watching you in a time machine right now. Well, because that just reminded me of Miami Subs, which also doesn't exist, but Miami Subs was fucking kicking. Yeah. That place was a hopping spot. Yeah. Fantastic. Latrice's dedication and work ethic were truly remarkable, particularly for such a young woman. But despite the intense focus she poured into both her studies and job, Latrice's

Latrice still managed to carve out space in her life for matters of the heart. At around 20 years old, she crossed paths with a man named Darren Lee Curtis, who was a 26-year-old Raleigh native and former National Guard soldier pursuing an accounting degree like Latrice, but at North Carolina Central University. Darren possessed a quiet and reserved demeanor, but instantly connected with Latrice.

as the two shared a lot in common. Both of them radiated down-to-earth qualities while exuding friendliness and humility. They also nurtured shared aspirations of building a successful accounting career and ultimately starting a family.

So unsurprisingly, the two started dating and in a very, very short amount of time decided to move into an apartment together in a complex called Aberly Grove in Raleigh. Their separate lives began to intertwine in all areas, particularly when Latrice got accepted to North Carolina Central University where Darren attended and decided to major in business management and administration.

So by this point, the couple shared a home, they shared a school, they shared career goals, and they shared their hearts. So it's unsurprising that they then decided to share a last name. Just one month shy of Latrice's 21st birthday, so she was super young, on April 27th, 2007, and without disclosing their plans to anyone, not even Latrice's father,

Darren and Latrice quietly tied the knot at the Wake County Courthouse. Her birthday is May 27th. That's my mom's birthday. Wow. Yeah.

Friends and family were utterly shocked to have learned about their nuptials, but their unwavering belief in Darren and Latrice's profound love led them to wholeheartedly support the marriage despite their initial surprise. By January 2008, Latrice took on an even more rigorous schedule, attending evening classes at NCCU to accommodate her extended work hours at Sears during the day. So she's a hustler, man.

But her motivation for this was to increase her earnings in preparation for starting a family shortly after graduation, if not sooner. Typically, Latrice would conclude her night classes in Durham and return back home to Raleigh at around 8 p.m. Darren would usually follow suit, walking through the door approximately 15 minutes after her. This established routine became a familiar part of their lives. However, on the night of January 29th, 2008,

An unusual break in routine occurred when Latrice failed to come home as expected. She did call to indicate that she'd be a bit later than usual as she intended to grab a bite to eat before coming home, but her complete failure to come home was certainly out of character. Yeah. Pop quiz numero uno. Can't wait. What did Darren do after Latrice failed to come home? A, freak out and call the police. B, go to bed for the night.

C, drive around campus looking for her. Okay. Well, I'm going to go back on what I just thought. I would not be able to go to sleep. Mm-hmm.

But I think that's the one. That he went to bed for the night? Yeah. You are correct. What a fucking psycho. Yo, you are a genius. And that is not really the best look for this guy, Darren, right? That is the absolutely most surprising. Freak out and call the police. Okay, maybe you freak out. It's like, all right, dude, relax. That's what I was thinking when I put that as an option. Drive around campus is like possibly normal response based on, you know, where she was at the time and how soon after it was or how long after it was.

Going to bed means you are a psychopath. So he left her a message. She didn't pick up and he went to bed. I can't even imagine what that might be like. I can't either. Oh, really? No. Oh, okay. Going to bed when your spouse isn't home, when

when you're expecting them. So here's the thing. Sometimes like obviously Dave will get paged to like a fire call. Yeah, yeah. And in the beginning, I wasn't able to sleep until he came home. Yeah. Now I can because I understand like the cadence of it all, the routine and like whatever. Yeah. But sometimes I will wake up and I'm like, how the fuck did you just sleep when he got paged to a fire? So, but in any event, really not a great look for Darren. You were tired. I mean, girls got to get her beauty rest.

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. So now in the case, it's the following frigid morning of January 30th, 2008 at approximately 730 a.m.

And the world continues to turn in spite of Latrice's unknown whereabouts. Commuters sitting in their heated cars, armed with their morning coffees, trudge along the desolate expanse of Interstate 540 in North Carolina. Trudge along the desolate expanse?

Can't you picture it now? Yeah, you paint a picture with the pen like Norman Malloway. Man, you on fire today. I love Kweli. I don't even know who Norman Malloway is, but I think he's a great writer. Wow, you just nailed whatever that was.

However, this particular morning held a distinctive twist for one commuter named David Jones as he drove westbound along I-540 because amidst the arid and barren brush embankment on the highway's right side... Arid and barren brush embankment? You gotta chill. I can't. Yeah, well, then I gotta find a way to deal with what's happening. I don't want it to just be an audiobook. I want to paint a picture.

Arid and barren... Embankment. Brush embankment. Fucking...

I'm there. All right, good. Well, an anomaly appears before the commuter, David Jones. A glitch in the matrix, if you will. Something that he's never seen before. A cat? Nope. Deja vu. Intrigued by an unusual sight, he cautiously decelerated his car to take a closer look while maneuvering onto the shoulder near the Buffalo Road exit.

I thought you were going to tease me for saying maneuvering. I did not make eye contact with you for that reason. I was trying to let it go. Maneuvering. You went to Jamaica for a second.

As he approached, a foreboding sense of dread began to consume him. He found himself white-knuckling the steering wheel as his breaths became short and panic-stricken. Because David's instincts had already registered the anomaly before him, he was staring directly at a lifeless, blood-soaked body sprawled amidst the desolation.

David immediately dialed 911, his voice quivering with this unsettling discovery. Law enforcement swiftly responded to the call and confirmed the disturbing nature of the find. A young black woman in her 20s lie lifeless on an incline, her body positioned on her back with arms outstretched above her head and legs splayed wide apart.

The victim's attire included unbuttoned and unzipped blue jeans paired with a once-white, now blood-soaked long-sleeved top. Initially, first responders speculated that she might have been a pedestrian tragically struck by a passing car on the unforgiving asphalt of I-540. However, a more detailed examination quickly unraveled a far more sinister and chilling cause of her untimely and evidently brutal demise.

And if it wasn't clear by this point, the victim, heartbreakingly, was of course Latrice Curtis. So he saw his daughter. No, that was Sherman. He was watching. Oh, Sherman Williams. That's right. I wanted to say that right away. I just held on to it. I couldn't hold it on any longer. Talk about painting a picture.

In the intro, I was just trying to make the connection of how people stop and pause until it becomes somebody they know. Yes. And that happened to Sherman Jones, right? Because he's watching the news like he does every morning. That's right. Okay. Okay. The man who found Latrice's body on the side of the road was David. David.

Her once beautiful dark skin had assumed a pale, powdery blue hue in death, a testament to the substantial blood loss that she endured. It was evident, based on the condition of her body, that Latrice had tragically been deceased for several hours by that point. Sorry to interject again, but the road was busy or not busy? It was a morning commute along a major highway. There wasn't traffic, but it also... Oh, okay, gotcha. Yeah. It was cruising, but packed. Yeah.

While we will soon be delving into the specifics of what transpired, of course, because that's what we do here, how it unfolded and why, I'll just tell you now that an initial glance revealed disturbingly large and conspicuous open gashes on Latrice's head, neck, and torso. Curiously, she still had on a pair of expensive earrings, which again, at initial cursory examination, seemed to eliminate robbery as a plausible motive.

Law enforcement secured the area and placed a bright blue tarp on top of Latrice's lifeless body, shrouding her from the view until homicide detectives, as well as former ADA of Wake County, Jennifer Lindau, arrived to spearhead an official investigation. ADA is assistant district attorney.

The initial challenge confronting the investigative team was identifying the corpse at this point, because in the absence of a wallet or a purse or an ID, she remained a Jane Doe. With fierce determination and a palpable sense of urgency, investigators began a thorough canvas of the area, employing both foot patrols and vehicular searches that extended in both directions along the expanse of I-540.

Eventually, an officer located Latrice's phone several hundred feet away, as well as two parked cars about half a mile down the road. One car was a white Nissan Sentra and the other was a white Honda Civic. And beside the white Nissan Sentra, a solitary figure stood, peering intently into the car.

Police officers approached and were astonished to learn that he had reported his wife missing just an hour earlier. So this random guy standing by the car tells the officers who now stumbled upon the car while canvassing the area that he reported his wife an hour earlier for being missing. And this man introduced himself as Darren Curtis. Oh. He became a central figure in this

unraveling, perplexing mystery, right? How had he arrived at the abandoned car before law enforcement, who only stumbled upon it while investigating a nearby murder scene of a Jane Doe? That motherfucker was driving it. Well, that's one theory, right, at this point? Even if Jane Doe and this man's missing wife were one and the same, how would he have known where to find the car? Yeah. Unless, of course, he was somehow involved in her death.

According to Darren, the sequence of events leading up to his call to law enforcement regarding his missing wife unfolded like this. On that fateful morning of January 30th, while he was driving to work along I-540, Darren happened upon his wife's car parked on the side of the road.

The sight of bloodstains covering the driver's seat, as well as a broken console and a crumpled up photo of Latrice on the back seat, combined with the fact that Latrice had not returned home from class the previous night, sent Darren reeling. So he decided to turn his car around on I-540. Which is a Honda Accord. A Honda Civic. Head back home and start calling around to his friends and family to see if anyone knew about Latrice's whereabouts.

So he saw her car on the side of the road heading in the opposite direction, knowing that his wife was missing. He said, let me just check it out. Yes. Okay. Law enforcement decided to run the license plate number of the abandoned white Nissan, at which point a photograph of the registered owner appeared on their screen. And to their grim realization, it matched the face belonging to the Jane Doe sprawled out beneath the tarp half a mile up the road.

And of course, it was the face of Darren Curtis's wife, Latrice. So now the police realized that the Jane Doe half a mile down the road is the owner of this abandoned car and is the wife of this man who indicated he called the police an hour earlier to report her missing.

Darren was immediately apprehended and brought down to the police station, where he found himself subjected to an incredibly tense and scrutinizing interrogation. The circumstances surrounding his wife's death certainly cast a looming shadow of suspicion upon him, and with each passing minute, the situation grew progressively more and more damning. There were multiple troubling aspects to his involvement that warranted careful examination.

The most glaring of these unsettling details, again, was the fact that Darren arrived at the scene of the crime or where the car was abandoned before law enforcement.

Another significant red flag emerged regarding the timeline of events, and that was the fact that Darren had waited approximately 11 hours before taking the initiative to notify police about Latrice's disappearance. In fact, as we mentioned earlier, he somehow slept soundly through the night in spite of his wife's unusual absence. Darren only realized that she wasn't there when he woke up the next morning at his usual time between 6 and 7 a.m.,

At which point he did try to call her, but his call went straight to voicemail. I would have noticed that snack won in the middle of the night.

Yes, you would have. But rather than feeling worry or concern, Darren just assumed that Latrice had gone to her parents' house to spend the night. And as such, he carried on with his morning routine, left for work at 7.30, and that's when he found her car on the side of the road. Now, law enforcement was obviously extremely skeptical, right? Yeah. And Darren officially became the lead suspect in Latrice Curtis' murder investigation. Pop quiz. Ooh.

According to the World Health Organization worldwide, what percent of female homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner or family member? Oh, here, let's go. A, 27%. Okay. B, 38%. Mm-hmm. C, 59%. Mm-hmm. Or D, 64%. D. Nope. Cool. C. No. Really? Yes.

I, too, was floored. B? Yes. 30-something percent? 38%. You thought it would be higher? Much higher. Yeah. So in my research, because I was like, how can that be? So in the United States, data from the FBI Uniform Crime Reporting Program...

and the Bureau of Justice Statistics have shown that a substantial proportion of female homicides are committed by someone known to the victim, well over above 50%. Yeah. And it's often an intimate partner, right? Yeah. But in terms of it being an intimate partner, that's 38%. And you said that was from the World Health Organization? Yeah. So as a matter of course, law enforcement proceeded to collect DNA and other potential evidence from Darren with a strong suspicion of his involvement in Latrice's death.

However, investigators and forensic technicians were taken aback by the absence of any physical injuries on Darren's person. No defensive wounds or signs of struggle were evident anywhere. In fact, he readily cooperated with requests for DNA swabs and willingly submitted to an in-depth examination, including photographs. It must suck to be a husband.

And have your wife go missing. Oh, yeah. It's all eyes on you. Yeah. I mean, you're the number one suspect. And it's like, you're starting with an F. And he was starting with like an F minus. Yeah.

At this juncture, the police really didn't have sufficient grounds on which to detain Darren, so they were forced to let him go. Upon returning home, Darren decided to initiate his own investigation in a determined quest to reconstruct the events surrounding his wife's disappearance and death. And remarkably, his efforts unearthed a pivotal lead in the case.

However, before I divulge what that discovery was, let's first shift our focus to the medical examiner's office in Wake County, where Latrice's body had been transported for autopsy. Okay. Because understanding the circumstances of this poor young woman's demise is crucial at this stage of the case.

Because it's going to provide the necessary context to align Darren's lead with the unfolding narrative. Yeah. All right. So I did warn you that we're kind of jumping around today. Okay. I obtained a copy of Latrice's autopsy report.

And it's rough. It is heartbreaking. What happened to her was so beyond horrific. So please listen with caution as I explain the medical examiner's findings. Firstly, it was estimated that Latrice was killed between the hours of 1 and 2 a.m. In summary, Dr. Stephen D. Dubner determined that the official cause of death for Latrice Metral Curtis was multiple sharp force injuries, which included...

Two incised stab wounds to the right ear, lateral neck, and anterior neck, penetrating and perforating the skin, musculature, cartilage, right carotid artery, left jugular vein, and larynx. What does incised? Incised stab wounds refers to injuries caused by a sharp-edged weapon or an object that has both a cutting and a stabbing action.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. So these wounds typically have characteristics of both incise, which means cutting, and stabbing or penetrating injuries,

And they result from an instrument that combines the ability to slice through tissue and penetrate into the body simultaneously. So it wasn't a straight stab and it wasn't directly across. It was like a hard drag of the knife. If you look at the autopsy drawings, it almost looks like a decapitation. It wasn't. Her head was intact, but it was a deep penetration of a sharp object. Yeah. And then a slice across, almost from ear to ear. Wow. Wow.

She also had six stab wounds to the left side of her face and left lateral and posterior neck, penetrating and perforating the skin and musculature. So these were deep, deep wounds. Yeah.

14 stab wounds to the anterior chest, penetrating and perforating the skin, musculature, right and left ribs, right and left lungs, left hilum, trachea, right and left intercostal muscles. She was shredded. Intercostal? I pulled my intercostal. Did you? Yeah, it fucking sucks. Oh, wow. You know what the intercostal is? No, I was just going to ask you that, actually. I know from the autopsy photos, like I can surmise, but I'd rather you tell me.

So from what I understand, it's like, I don't mean to be graphic, but it's like. Do you hear what I'm reading? True. I don't mean to put anybody off, but no, it's the muscle in between the ribs that holds the ribs together and helps them flex much like the muscle you would eat off of a rib. You eat muscles when you eat ribs? A barbecue rib? Yeah. That's a muscle? Oh yeah. Oh, I thought it was like flesh. You know what I mean? Like meat.

Not muscle. All meat is muscle. Really? Yeah. I know. I'll tell you something. I'm going to puke. I've been watching a lot of cooking videos on YouTube and like got very into cooking and doing things right and whatever. That book, The Tender is the Flesh. Yes, I know that book. We've talked about it on this podcast. That's why I know it. Shit. I know you know it. One of our listeners read it, by the way, and they said it really fucked them up. Really? For those of you who haven't heard it, it's a story about...

All of the meat on planet Earth becomes diseased and unedible. So they kill literally every animal on the planet. You're not going near cash, but keep going. And it's illegal to even like come in contact with birds because they couldn't kill all the birds. So they started raising humans to be livestock. That's the book. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And like muscle, like meat, tenderloin, filet mignon, strip steak, porter, like all of it, every single bit of it, chicken, it's...

It's their muscle and it's gross. I'm unwell. And I really have to not focus on it when I'm eating the food. Actually, don't feel great. That's why I don't like, like when it's cooked medium rare, I'm like, dude, this is still muscle. Oh, God damn it. Stop. It's not food yet. Stop. You got to cook it more, man. I don't like this. Oh, it's gross. Okay.

She also sustained three stab wounds to the left axilla and flank. So the axilla is like the armpit area, and the flank is actually considered the area between the ribs and the hip. She had two stab wounds to her abdomen, six blunt force injuries to her skull, inside wounds to the hand, and broken fingernails on the third and fifth fingers of her left hand. Okay.

And this, to me, and this isn't something that I uncovered in my research, it's just my own sort of musing, is an apparent case of overkill. Now, I've talked about overkill before, but overkill in the forensic medicine field refers to the infliction of massive injuries by a perpetrator far exceeding the extent necessary to kill the victim.

And the presence of overkill in a crime scene suggests that the perpetrator was in a heightened state of emotional intensity. Crime of passion. That's exactly what I wrote here, Tank. Sorry. In certain cases, the victim serves as a surrogate or a target for the killer's emotional projection, particularly in instances of sexually motivated homicides. So sad.

Just keep this knowledge in your back pocket for now. I'm going to keep it in my front pocket. I'm going to keep it on the table right in front of me. Oh yeah, I could see it. Cool. Yeah. Because we need to discuss another finding made during Latrice's autopsy that added an additional element of mystery to this already devastating case.

Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Well, I mean, you're really hitting a nerve here for me.

because my first thought was that because of the way they cut her neck, it would be gang-related. Okay. It's like a kind of a trademark of like, I think it's called a Colombian necktie or something like that. Okay. But it wasn't a Colombian necktie. So I'm going to go with the tattoo of snitch on her lip. No. Great. Why did you let me go off on that? Why not? This is a good time for me. Interesting. Watching you squirm over there. Interesting. So...

A religious symbol or what was the other one? A condom inside her body. Hmm.

A condom inside her body? Yeah. Well, that also, because she was killed between 1 and 2 in the morning, gave me a little reason to think maybe she was doing something and things got absolutely way fucking went into left field. Out of hand. So during the autopsy, a condom was found within the deep posterior aspect of the vaginal vault, along with a hair that was taken into evidence.

Needless to say, the plot undeniably thickened, particularly when we consider what Darren stumbled upon, which I indicated before going into the autopsy results, wound up becoming a significant lead in the case. What Darren unearthed was a phone number in his wife's call log, a number that she had been dialing and texting with tremendous frequency. This

This discovery, coupled with the mystery condom, strongly suggested that Latrice was having an affair. Yeah. Now, placing judgment aside, the possibility of an extramarital affair provided law enforcement with another potential suspect to explore in their quest for answers. Yeah. And that's exactly what they did. Tracing the number found on Latrice's phone, police were led to a man named Stephen Randolph.

Stephen was an attractive and popular basketball player at North Carolina Central University, the same institution where Latrice had been attending night classes. And her path crossed with Stephen's path a few months back, about four months prior in September, when they were both enrolled in a couple of the same courses. Two days following the discovery of Latrice's lifeless body and after Stephen was contacted by law enforcement, he was

he walked into the Wake County Police Precinct along with his 43-year-old pastor, a man named Pastor Robert Reeves. So Stephen was prepared to cooperate with police and to answer any questions that they may have for him. And boy, did they have questions because Latrice's phone records indicated that she spoke with Stephen after 10 p.m. on the night of her death.

directly after she placed a call to her husband, Darren, to indicate that she was going to be home late. But she didn't call him or he was already asleep? Her husband? Yeah. Remember how I mentioned that she called him to say that she was going to be a little bit late because she was grabbing a bite to eat after class? I don't, but that's okay. Okay. I'm sure you did say it. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

It's okay. If you have this question, so does somebody else. So, okay, so there's two possibilities. One, it was Stephen Randolph, or the husband found out about Stephen Randolph and did the horrific crime. Right. This is a proper whodunit. Yeah. Right? During questioning, which was conducted without Pastor Reeves present in the room, Stephen disclosed that he and Latrice had been engaging in a sexual relationship, but that she had informed him that she and her husband were separated. Mm-hmm.

This was something that Darren neglected to mention during his interrogation, which again, did not look so favorably. Wait, hold on. So they were separated or she was just telling him that? At this point, investigators don't know. And neither do we. Yeah. I don't think that they were actually separated, but we'll never know because Darren says that they weren't. But Latrice apparently told Steven that

They were. Well, that's something that people often tell the person they're cheating with. Totally. Totally. But at this point, law enforcement are like, maybe there's shit going on with Darren. Yeah. And he didn't tell us that they were separated. Yeah. So what else is he hiding? Because he didn't know. Exactly. Exactly.

During questioning, Stephen also confirmed that the condom discovered inside Latrice indeed belonged to him as they had been intimate the evening of her death. A mishap occurred during their encounter when the condom became dislodged and got stuck inside Latrice's vaginal cavity. Both Stephen and Latrice attempted to retrieve it unsuccessfully, which prompted Latrice to leave as she expressed her intention to address the issue on her own in

in the privacy of her own space. So when she left, the condom was still lodged. So now detectives are beginning to entertain the notion that Steven's anger may have been triggered by Latrice's departure and his mounting concern about the possibility that

that she could be pregnant as a result of the condom mishap. They surmise that Stephen's dreams of being in the NBA were now suddenly in a precarious state, as the prospect of impregnating a married woman would certainly pose a significant threat to his aspirations. Furthermore, it came to light during the interview that Stephen also had a girlfriend named Velma Newton.

So perhaps between wanting to secure his future with the NBA and ward off a potential unwanted pregnancy and also keep his girlfriend, Stephen snapped and murdered Latrice in a sort of crime of passion. Sorry, I had no idea there were real people named Velma. Not a clue. Yes, yes, there are. Very interesting.

According to Stephen's account of events, Latrice left his apartment by 10 p.m. Then he went over to Velma's house where he met up with a friend named Warren Robertson. And Velma. And Velma. Yeah. And both Velma and Warren were able to corroborate Stephen's whereabouts during the time in question. Okay. So now at the precinct...

Pastor Robert Reeves, who was being kept in a separate room from Stephen, was simultaneously chatting with a different investigator while Stephen was being formally interviewed in the next room.

Now we're switching gears. We're going to talk a little bit about Pastor Reeves. Okay. Pastor Reeves, a 43-year-old evangelical minister who goes by the moniker The Bishop, was pretty well known and respected in the community. He was also a former motivational speaker, so he had this certain charisma to him. The Bishop. Given his standing, law enforcement was keen to seek his perspective on Stephen's possible involvement in the case, and Pastor Reeves was more than willing to spill the beans.

First, Reeves went on to explain how he and Stephen knew each other. Their connection originated in the summer of 2007 when they coincidentally met at a nearby car wash where Stephen was employed at the time. During their conversation at the car wash, Pastor Reeves learned that Stephen harbored ambitions of becoming an NBA player, but was facing financial challenges and grappling to secure affordable housing while managing his daily expenses.

In light of Stephen's predicament, Pastor Reeves extended a very generous offer to him. He proposed that Stephen could reside in the basement of his home at a substantially discounted rate, and he would also offer both financial assistance and spiritual counseling during this financially troubling time for Stephen. Reeves shared his home with his sister, Willie Mae Thorpe, and they expressed their willingness to rent the basement for about $300 a month, which was like a steal.

Stephen accepted, of course, this kind offer, and he'd been residing there ever since. So that's how they know each other. They're essentially roommates. Reeves described Stephen as a womanizer who often had female guests over for intimate encounters.

He confirmed that on the night of January 29, 2008, Latrice Curtis was indeed in Stevens' basement apartment. Reeves noted seeing Latrice's white Nissan parked outside his home at around 8 p.m. when he left for church services. Upon returning home from church services at around 11, 1130, neither Latrice's car nor Stevens' car had been present.

The following morning, Stephen allegedly told Pastor Reeves that Latrice called him in the middle of the night, expressing a desire to advance their relationship. Okay. According to Reeves, Stephen said he was not interested. Then Reeves went on to reveal another little tidbit of information to law enforcement. Pop quiz. Pop quiz.

My instincts are just fucking real good. Yeah, you're in your game today. What little tidbit of information did Pastor Reeves drop during his interview? A, that Stephen's ex-girlfriend from a few months prior had a restraining order against him. B, that Stephen has a knife and sword collection. C, that Stephen texted him the night of Latrice's murder, rambling on and on about God's forgiveness. C. No. Wow, you made that up? Yeah.

You don't even believe in God. But I want to. A. No. He has a knife and sword collection? That's what Pastor Reeves indicated to the police. I mean, okay. So now...

they execute a search warrant for Stephen's car and basement apartment. See if there's any blood on those knives. That's right. Yeah. But nothing turned up in the way of clues or definitive evidence linking him to the murder. So now there are two prime suspects, Darren Curtis and Stephen Randolph, are turning up nothing. Yeah.

However, while police were conducting their search, they noticed a minivan parked on the driveway and decided to run the plates. And it turns out that this minivan, which was registered to Pastor Reeves, had been involved in a traffic incident on the night of Latrice's murder, just six hours before her body was discovered.

That night, a North Carolina Highway Patrol officer named Isaac Cooper discovered the minivan with its hazard lights on, abandoned on the eastbound shoulder of I-540 with its keys still in the ignition. And that was the traffic incident? Yes. Okay. At the time, Officer Cooper also noticed a white car on the opposite side of I-540.

But as he was going over to investigate, he got called away to something else and he never circled back to either of the cars. So Stephen Randolph's and Pastor Bishop, whatever the fuck, did it. Well, let's see. Okay. I'm trying to put it together. I like that. I like that. You're into it.

Investigators realized that the precise location where Officer Cooper noticed the white car across I-540 was the precise location of where Latrice's body wound up being discovered six hours later. But then they moved the car. Right. Whoever they is. Whoever they is. Exactly right. Okay. While still at the precinct during his interview. Oh, okay.

I was wondering why there was so much blood on the driver's side of the car. Yes. You're piecing it. Yeah. That's right. Okay. Seems likely that the murder itself occurred near or in the car. Yeah, and then they drove the car to wherever. Exactly. The perpetrator then moved the car. Terrible. While still at the precinct during his interview, investigators inquired about why Pastor Reeves' minivan had been located across the highway from the spot where Latrice Curtis' body was found.

Reasonable question. Reeves explained that Stephen had been using his minivan for the past few weeks since Stephen's own car had been undergoing repairs at the shop. So he had no idea why his minivan was there. Go ask Stephen. Now, hearing that Stephen had been driving the same car found near the crime scene on the very night in question, investigators know, they just know that they have their guy.

the killer had to have been Stephen Randolph. He had means, he had motive, and he had opportunity.

But he also had an alibi. With both Velma and Warren firmly maintaining Stephen's presence with them on the night of the murder, investigators found themselves in a perplexing situation again. Maybe it was El Cuco. What? El Cuco. Don't know what that is. You didn't watch The Outsider on HBO Max? The Outsider. Jason Bateman? I did watch. Oh my God. Yes.

It was really, you're right, El Cucco. Which, by the way, listening to an old episode, you said, what were we talking about? The Obsession, right? Where the guy humped the pillow. Yeah. Yeah, and Charlie Murphy, shout out to you. Big shout out, girl. Happy birthday, also. Same birthday as me. Right before you said, of course I watch The Obsession. Yeah. You were like, I don't watch anything, ever. Ever.

I didn't catch it until listening to it again, but it was pretty extreme. Fair point. Fair point.

Let me rephrase. I rarely watch anything, but if I do, it's going to be a crime thriller. But when you do, it's going to be good. That's right. Yeah. And it's going to have Charlie Murphy in it. Yeah. So suddenly the spotlight then shifted towards Velma, considering that she too had access to the minivan and a potential motive to want Latrice out of the picture. Yeah. Of course, she adamantly maintained that she never left her apartment that night either. But she...

But she was Stephen's alibi, right? She was Stephen's alibi, but then Stephen could be her alibi. You see how this gets like very... Investigations are very tricky and sometimes tautological. Do you know what that word means? I've heard it. I have no idea. Circular reasoning. Oh. Like a dog chasing its tail. You know what I mean? Yeah. Adding to the complexity of the situation, Velma also revealed that she and Stephen had been targets of harassment lately that began in late October 2007. Hmm.

Apparently, an unidentified individual had been making threatening calls from a blocked number and was leaving menacing messages that insinuated their impending breakup. So somebody's calling Stephen and Velma for months at this point, telling them that they're going to break up and leaving just vulgar voicemails.

The caller even went so far as to threaten Stephen's basketball career by saying that he was going to break his legs if he didn't break up with Velma. It was also discovered that Stephen's car had been at the repair shop due to its tires being slashed in December. So somebody's fucking with them, which only adds to the mystery of this entire situation. But maybe it's...

The guy. What guy? Her husband. I forgot his name. Darren Curtis. Darren Curtis. Maybe. And also another word for circular is circuitous. And I was trying to think of it. Oh, that's a good word. Very good. Nicely done. It actually means kind of going around the long way, but you could use it there. It works. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Velma Robertson, the scorned girlfriend of the decedent's cheating lover, and Latrice Curtis's car. So just tell me who was in the DNA again. Darren? Darren. Darren? Stephen. Velma. Velma. And then they took evidence from Latrice's car, not knowing who the DNA may belong to.

If anyone besides Latrice. Well, it makes sense that Darren would have his DNA in there. Correct. Okay. But what ensued as a result of these findings would irrevocably upend the entire trajectory of the case. Because according to the DNA report, blood from two contributors had been found inside Latrice's white Nissan. All right, let's hear it. One, of course, belonged to Latrice. And the other, which was found on the steering wheel of the car,

belonged to none other than God's humble servant, Pastor Robert Reeves, a.k.a. the Bishop. Bad Christian. Not great. Not really representing the faith well, are you, Pastor? So now, let me tell you about the Bishop.

Because cloaked in the sanctity of his holy robes, Pastor Reeves wove a web of deceit that concealed his true disturbing nature. With charisma as his disguise and faith as his shield, he operated in the shadows, exploiting the trust of his congregation as he pursued a path far, far removed from the divine. It turns out that Stephen Randolph had not driven Pastor Reeves' minivan on the night of the murder.

In fact, he'd had his own car back from the shop for days by that point. Not only did Pastor Reeves lie about that, but he'd also withheld other key pieces of information as well. Like the fact that he killed her. Here's the T, which is a term I just learned. Oh, that's cap. What? That's cap. I don't know what that means. This T finna be bussin'. Don't know what any of that means. I'm just proud I know what T means.

All right. Yeah, they're all young people words. That's why I'm proud that I know it. Yeah. Not long after Stephen moved into the basement of Pastor Reeves' home, he approached Stephen under the guise of ministering financial and relationship guidance. Reeves indicated to Stephen that he was aware that Stephen was engaging in premarital sex as well as having an affair with a married woman.

He also indicated that he was aware that Stephen was still in a tight financial spot. So he made a suggestion as well as an offer to Stephen. Pop quiz. All right. What suggestion did Pastor Reeves provide to Stephen and what offer did he make? Okay. I'm saying it like that because I want you to remember that there is a suggestion and an offer. Okay.

A, he suggested that Stephen live rent-free by offering to hire him to oversee the altar boys at the church alongside him. God, okay. B, he suggested that Stephen allow him to preside over his love life and offered up his sister, Willie Mae. Pastor Reeves wanted Stephen to preside over his love life or vice versa? Vice versa. Okay. And then he said, okay, date my sister, but I'm going to watch you. He said, I'm going to watch. You're right. Exactly right. And here's my sister.

C, he suggested that Stephen become a male escort and offered to take nude photos. I mean, these are all really weird suggestions slash offers. If you guys can't see her face, she's like beaming with pride. Like I just told her she fucking won the lottery or something. I know. This is better. Okay. So I believe, I mean, the word fucking, there are two of them really bad. We're weird. Um,

That he preside over his love life and offered him his sister? Nope. Okay, you came up with that. That's really weird. Yep. C, male escort nude photos. Yes. Yes. It's on par.

He indicated to Stephen that since he was such an attractive, strapping young man, he could make bank working as a male escort. Then he turned to Stephen and asked, and I quote, how big is your junk? Fucking pastor, man. Yeah. Desperate to make money and thinking that maybe escort work isn't the worst idea, Stephen dropped his pants.

Pastor Reeves then proceeded to forcibly fondle Stephen's exposed penis while indicating that oral sex in the dark from a man feels no different than oral sex from a woman. Fellas, is it gay if your pastor sucks your penis in the dark? Stephen was, of course, extremely uncomfortable by this encounter and made it clear to the pastor that he was not interested. In fact, he was so uncomfortable that Stephen decided to sleep with a loaded 9mm gun beneath his pillow in

In case Pastor Reeves ever decided to put a move on him again. Yeah. Additionally, a search of Robert Reeves' property also uncovered an additional phone that was funded by the church and being used by Reeves for extracurricular reasons, like harassing Stephen and Velma. Really? Yes. He was the one? He was the one.

What's wrong? During the investigation, by the way, detectives and the assistant DA referred to this phone as the fun phone. Just a little fun fact. So now, with all of this pertinent information uncovered, the Wake County PD arrests Robert Reeves and charges him with first-degree murder. During the trial, the prosecution argued that Pastor Robert Reeves had developed an unsettling obsession with Stephen Randolph.

According to their narrative, on the night of January 29th, after Latrice had left Stephen and Robert's home following her sexual encounter with Stephen, Robert Reeves was consumed by a toxic mix of jealousy and anger.

Driven by these emotions, he secretly followed Latrice along I-540 as she drove home to her husband. Wait, so he was jealous of Latrice? Yes, he was obsessed with Steven and jealous of Latrice because she was getting it on with him.

Okay. Now, you might be wondering why Latrice chose to stop her car on the side of that dimly lit, desolate interstate highway. Yeah, I am. The truth is, we have no confirmed knowledge as to why she decided to pull over that night. But one plausible explanation could be that she pulled over in an attempt to remove the runaway condom from her body before returning home to her husband. And when she did...

When she pulled over, Robert Reeves followed suit, pulled over his car, and took the opportunity to eradicate one of the perceived obstacles in his way of being with Stephen Randolph. What a fucking asshole. So, he took out a knife and violently stabbed Latrice Curtis at least 36 times in her head, neck, and neck.

and torso, killing her. Yeah, I said asshole. Asshole is, I think, more reserved for someone who, like, cuts you off purposely on the road or something like that. Like, it doesn't, it's not, what a sick, sick, twisted. You can use my word if you want. What, demented? Close, depraved. Depraved. Okay. Investigator depraved. Investigator depraveder.

The prosecution presented additional evidence discovered at Pastor Reeves' home, which consisted of a partially melted trash can that contained fabric covered in accelerant, indicating that he likely attempted to burn his bloody clothing following the murder. Yeah. In a fucking plastic garbage can? It was called a broiling pan because they found the receipt, again, rookie mistake, and it was meant to burn things in, but it was partially melted.

Moreover, during the trial, two additional men stepped forward to share their distressing experiences with Pastor Reeves. They testified that he had initially offered them a place to stay, broached the subject of seeking employment as escorts, ventured into deeply personal and inappropriate territory regarding the size of their junk, and then ultimately made unwanted sexual advances towards them. What a fucking creep. Gross. Gross.

And here is one of the most egregious parts of this whole case, aside, of course, from Latrice's tragic and savage murder. Because it turned out that Pastor Robert Reeves had a lengthy and reprehensible history of sexually abusing minors.

Fantastic. Reeves began his career as a preacher at Pleasant Hill Baptist Church near Bennettsville, South Carolina in the mid-1980s, and he left the church in 1987 after being accused of criminal sexual conduct or misconduct with a boy under 17. He was then charged with criminal sexual conduct on September 3rd, 1987 in Marlborough County, South Carolina, according to court records.

He was also convicted of third-degree sex charges in 1988 and served time in jail for that conviction. He was also charged with simple assault and battery in 1982 in South Carolina. This guy's got a long rap sheet. According to published reports, Reeves...

Next surfaced in New York City, where he resigned as pastor at Cedar of Lebanon Baptist Church in January of 2002 in order to establish his own place of worship called Cedar International Fellowship in Brooklyn. But sexual allegations involving Reeves and a male minor surfaced in New York, and court records show that he was again charged with first-degree criminal sexual misconduct in 2002. Mm-hmm.

Instead of facing permanent removal from the church, Reeves was shuffled around and relocated, effectively burying his misconduct.

Unfortunately, I encounter this pattern frequently in my work at the family law firm, which you know, where we represent survivors of childhood sexual abuse committed by people in positions of religious authority, whether it's a priest, a pastor, a rabbi, anyone who's in a religious role and uses that to hide their heinous actions. I mean, I'm sure this is a question that you don't know the answer to or anybody, but why does the church move them instead of saying, hey, you're done?

There's a lot of, I think, a lot of answers to that question. I think, first of all, they sweep it under the rug to not bring the negative attention onto the church. I think a lot of times they believe in rehabilitation and they offer in-church counseling and aid, sometimes, not always. And they think that it warrants forgiveness versus, you know, removal from the church. A lot of times, many people in positions of high authority within the church are in on it.

I mean, it depends. I mean, this level of corruption goes all the way up. Yeah. All the way up. To God? I'm not going to take it there, Tank. Just kidding. But it goes up pretty high in the church. Historically, men of the cloth who engaged in abusive behavior were just relocated and never held accountable. It's a practice sometimes referred to as clergy shifting.

And this not only fails to address the harm caused, but also perpetuates a culture of secrecy and impunity within religious institutions. They probably could have done it back, back when. I mean, the church has been around for a long time. But you start getting into like technology and records and all that stuff. It's like maybe you've got to find another way to deal with this.

than just moving them to another town because everyone... All you're doing is presenting him with a brand new pool of innocent victims to prey upon. Well, I'm sure when that person goes into the new church, they think, I'm going to fucking turn over a new leaf here. Maybe. I don't know. You're giving these perpetrators way more credit than I do. Yeah. I don't think so. I think they look at it as...

I got away with it. Let's see if I can get away with it again. If not, they'll just move me. Yeah. I mean, you know, maybe the truth is somewhere in between. But it's vital for faith communities and religious organizations to acknowledge these past failures and to work towards implementing transparent and robust accountability measures to protect and support those who've been affected by abuse. And they need to ensure that injustice does not continue in the future. And you need to bring in the law. I understand that men of the cloth answer to...

you know, a different power, but you broke laws. Yeah. Anyway, following nearly a two-week trial, a unanimous verdict was reached. Robert Lee Adams Reeves was found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced by Judge Don Stevens to life in prison without parole. Yeah, that's the right answer. In conclusion, Latrice Curtis has...

had her entire life ahead of her and left behind a brokenhearted family, husband, and group of friends and colleagues. I'll leave off with the following statement made by Latrice's father, Sherman.

There's no more waiting, no more wondering. Now I know. And maybe now we can go on with our life. I cry, but there are tears of joy. This man is a predator. He killed my daughter. He killed my family. And he really killed himself. So he has no life either. And that's exactly how I want it. Yeah. And that is the heartbreaking case of Latrice Curtis. That's the case. That's the case. Very sad that she got caught up in this guy's

But I need you to hold on one second. Okay. Okay? A few moments later. Well, I just went and got investigative Slater a birthday gift that is in a bag that she could literally jump into and fall asleep. You got me a birthday gift? This was so nice of you. I don't know what it is. Hold on. There's a lot of pretty tissue paper. Wow, Tank. You shouldn't have. You really, really shouldn't have. Tell our listeners what I got you.

He got me a step stool. You suck, man. I tried to find you one of those grabby hand things that you can get. A gopher? I already have three. I figured. Okay. Wow. There's another thing in there. Oh, really? Okay. I'm just so taken aback by this. This is like the thing you might actually. Thoughtfulness of the step stool. I don't need anything else. And use. Oh, it's heavy. A tumbler? Stanley Cup. These are all the rage with women. I know.

Do you have one? No, but can I tell you something? Sure. Like really all of the girls in my life have a Stanley cup and have been urging me to get it, but I didn't do it because I typically don't like to do what like the masses do. Yes. That makes sense. However, I secretly really wanted one. So thank you. However, I mean, sometimes this is true. Sometimes people are just being dumb and going with the crowd.

sometimes things become as big as the Stanley Cup is because they're fucking incredible. Is it incredible? Do you have one? Jessica does, but I posted a story on Tank's Good News about some woman whose car caught on fire and completely burned.

And the Stanley Cup was in the cup holder. The fire went out. She opened the car door, grabbed the Stanley Cup, shook it, and you could hear the ice still falling. No. I swear to God. Oh, my God. So then the owner of Stanley Cup, the founder, bought her a new car. Oh, wow. He should make armor. He should make cars. Sure, cars. Even better. Yes.

I mean, really, just make the car out of the whole thing. Like, why don't they make the plane out of the black box material? Yeah, fuck, that was hard for myself. There's a card in there too. Is it not in there? I don't know. I suck and I just go for the present first. Yeah, it might not be in there. I might have forgotten to put it in there. All right, well, that's fine. I'll believe this card when I see it. We'll post a picture of the card on Patreon because it is very visually entertaining. I can't wait to see it. Yeah. Thank you for my really thoughtful and useful...

That step stool, I know it's a joke, but you're going to be fucking using that. I'm not going to not use it. No, you need it. I know I need it. Thank you. You can use it to get into your car when you leave here. I can use it to jump up and punch you, or I don't have to jump up. It's just easy access to that. Yeah, it looks like Mike Tyson's punch out when you're...

I'm trying to punch somebody. Yeah, so thank you for that case. Yes. That was a good case. Do you know why I chose that case? First of all, there's so many reasons why I chose that case. But I don't hear enough about this case. And I think it warrants just a light shed on Latrice.

And also, you mentioned at the end of our last case that your favorite type of case is a whodunit. Yeah. Versus knowing who the perp is out of the gate and kind of going into his or her psychological makeup. Yeah. So I listen to you. I take what you say to heart. I know that you don't love a linear structure in the timeline. Don't tailor this podcast to my ADHD. Nah, it's just this one episode. Okay. I don't want to, like, not everyone has it.

I'm aware. But if you like the botched timeline, let us know. That would make my life a lot easier. Yeah, it makes me very uncomfortable. Yeah. Oh, really? I like order and structure and chronology. But it's so much more impressive and genius to be able to create a story that does jump around. Well, man, happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you for putting all the work into that case. Always a pleasure. Thank you for making my job so easy. Always a pleasure. And thank you for not dying and aging another year.

Yeah, I got nothing. It must be the age. Yeah. Must be my years catching up. So if you made it this far, Meg. Oh, oh, birthday shout out to none of your sharn business.

Okay. Or something like that. I'm going from memory. So one of the, she's a Patreon. You're going to give a shout out. You may want to. And her sister wrote me asking for some kind of acknowledgement. She wanted something a little different, but. Guys. Yeah. A little word of advice. Yeah. Flag me.

Somehow, when you want a proper shout out done and you want the name remembered, and I'll give it to you. None of your sharn business. Like, shabizness. Yeah, I'm aware. Okay, good. So happy birthday for you. Happy birthday. And we will see you guys at the next episode. Thank you for listening. Bye. Bye.