cover of episode LA adventures with Jake Shane

LA adventures with Jake Shane

2024/2/26
logo of podcast Pretty Lonesome with Madeline Argy

Pretty Lonesome with Madeline Argy

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I was stalking you online and I found this article about your OCD. Oh, like the worst thing? And I turned around to my room and I was like, ugh. No, this isn't my OCD. My OCD is like, I used to have to touch things evenly. It wasn't like me. I'm a very messy person. Okay. As you remember, I showed you my room. I don't care for mess at all. At all, I don't care. I was thinking of not having to.

People are like, "You don't have OCD, you live in Philadelphia." That's not what OCD is. Sometimes OCD makes you live in Philadelphia. OCD is really just like really compulsive thoughts over and over and over and over again. Hey guys! We- I'm showing Madeline how to be American today. And I'm so fucking excited about it. Wait, I can curse, right? Yeah, you can. Okay. Sorry, we both drank energy drinks before this 'cause it's just a thing we do at this point when we're seeing each other. And I'm like, not okay. You guys, this car is fucking ginormous.

Like, it's actually crazy. I have been a menace on these American roads. Really? It's kind of amazing that you're able to just adapt to driving on the other side of the road so quickly. Thank you. I have been, like, fancying myself for it. Wait, yeah. Look at me, I'm so gross. It's Occamusing. We're deciding where to go first. Okay, should we go to Air One or Target or... Let's do Target. I think... Like, it's more open air. I think Target will, like, get us more comfortable, like...

You know, when our- Guys, I'm taking Madeline to a cannabis dispensary today and I'm really excited. You're gonna freak the fuck out, it's crazy. I am really excited. Is this a good one? Like, is it a big one? I think so, yeah. 'Cause I want a big fat Target, I don't want these silly little ones. I think we're going to the one on Hollywood Boulevard, right? Look at the pictures. That's big. That's perfect. It looks great. Okay, we're going to a good Target. I don't know what I need to show you at Target, like I'm thinking, like they have like actually everything.

They have clothes. We should get each other an outfit. Let's get each other outfits. I'll dress you the way I want to dress. Princess. I am a princess. And then we can hit up the gay clubs. Uh-huh, yeah, we'll hit up the gay clubs that I'm scared of. I like the children's section at Target. I walked around the other day and they have some cute t-shirts. Do you guys have Barnes & Noble in London? No! You want to go to a Barnes & Noble? I do. What is it? Books? It's books. I love Barnes & Noble.

I wanna go. Let's go. Okay, we're in Target now. Oh my god. Okay. Ooh, there's like merch. I know, that's what I'm saying. Smells great. Target, you know every single Target's got the exact same. Smells like air conditioning and fruit. Wait, we need a cart. Oh, where do you keep them? Oh, there.

Okay, let's go shopping for clothes. - What about strawberry shorts? - I actually feel like you will find something here and make it cute, I'm not gonna lie. - No, all of this is cute. This is the shirt that I bought. - Wait, actually? The other day? - Bought from Cozy. It's like literally an advert. Oh, but this is the kid version, the adult version's way cooler. - I kinda like this, not gonna lie. - It's really cool, the clothes are great. - Do you want a strawberry shortcake one? - I really kind of do. I kind of want one of every single kind that they have.

Which one do you want? Do you want a dog toy? Yeah, choose for me. Yeah. Manifest. Oh, you need to get one. I kind of love it, actually. Okay, where do we go now? Okay. Remember, I haven't eaten anything today. Oh, get something. This is popcorn called Skinny Pop. This is Bout to the Pop. This is Cheese Dip. Oh, I'm curious about the Cheese Dip. Why don't we get the Cheese Dip? Let's get the Cheese Dip. Should we have a mukbang later? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Have you ever had a hint of lime? No. Do you like lime? Yes. Madeline has never had a hint of lime. Who's this? I honestly don't know. Do you like jerk meat? I'm like terrified of the concept of dry meat. Right. Oh, fuck. No, we don't. Dude, we don't have anything good. Like if you like it, it's not there. Okay. So this is where the real...

They have fruit pots. Do you have these in London? Maybe we have like a version, but I always see like, I don't know what your for you page is like, but mine is like mom's making breakfast. Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen that. Okay, so we need to get you goldfish. So we're going to get you original flavor because it just tastes like crackers. It's really good. And then I'm going to pick out

The cheddar flavor. Guys, I did not know London didn't have so much of this. - There's nothing good. - What about Cheez-Its? - No, we don't have Cheez-Its. I once ordered them online and it cost me like $40 for one box. - I'm gonna do the extra toasty one for you. - Thank you. - 'Cause those are the best. And then, oh my God, spray cheese. I'm sorry, we have to. There's nothing more American than that.

The fuck is that? You spray cheese into your mouth. No you don't. Yes. Ew, it says no need to refrigerate. Yeah, because it's chemical. Can't wait. Okay, is there anything else that's piquing your interest? Oh wait, toys. Let's go to the toys. Oh, we have to get this. It's the Target dog.

Is that-- is it? Yeah, it's the Target dog. You have to get it, just as a souvenir. Since you guys don't have Target. He's so cute. Aw. Bless him. I wonder when, like, the last time someone purchased a Target dog was. Probably a really long time ago. He's been here for years.

They have slime! Fuck off! No, dude, do you know I've never touched slime in my life? You've never had slime? No, is this gonna be like good slime? It looks like good slime, let me see. Sensory unboxing, yeah, this looks like. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Oh, the kinetic sand, do you like kinetic sand? I, again, never tried it, can we get it?

- Or should we get the dessert kinetic sand? - Oh, of course. - We can make dessert. I say we go to the In-N-Out drive-thru. - Okay. - Are you game for that? - I'm so game. - Guys, sorry, once I get In-N-Out of me, I'm gonna be so much more lively. I just, I haven't eaten today. - Yeah, we need to get some food in your little tummy. - I know. I don't know why I haven't eaten. Starbucks. Target is gonna be like, "What are you guys, what do you guys have to do?"

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Okay, so we have to go downstairs actually. Why? Because like look. Oh my fucking god. Yeah, we have to. Wait, no way. Yeah, it's crazy. That's what I'm saying. That's so smart. I want to get in it. I don't. So I just push it on? Like here. You go like this. And look. That is insane. Yeah. Sometimes America's awesome. Do you have Mountain Dew?

No, oh my god, I want to try it so bad. How American is this? Baba yum? Please. This is like a hundred pounds worth of things I just do not need. I know. I love it. Okay, wait, are you ready to do it? Yes! There they go. So smart. Isn't it smart? I need a milkshake now. I want to put my loaded fries in the milkshake. Uh-huh. All the time. All the time. I can't believe we just got all this.

Okay, you know what? We will not be defeated by this. I'm gonna load your arms up. Okay. And then I'm gonna load my arms. Okay. Okay, guys, um, I might put you guys down for a second. You'll just hear a lot of struggling. Okay, okay. Yeah, these aren't heavy at all. Wait, easy! Wait, guys, this actually wasn't hard at all. It's actually almost strikingly easy. It feels like we've forgotten stuff.

I'm so excited to get back in the car. This way. Oh, god damn it!

Let me fix it. It's so stressful. Should we drive into some light? Yeah, maybe we'll drive into the light. Maybe like the In-N-Out parking lot? I'm going to search a good place. Oh my god, can we get a hamburger animal style? Hamburger no cheese animal style? What do you want? The same thing, please. Hamburger no cheese animal style. Then we'll do a thing of fries animal style. Yeah. And then a thing of regular fries. And then I'm going to do a black and white milkshake. Okay.

Regular size? Yeah. What milkshake do you like? Can I get the chocolate milkshake? Yes, chocolate milkshake. Yes, please. And then can we get some peppers on the side as well? Yes. And then I think that's it. Is this for here? To go. To go. Thank you. Yes. I'll bring it to your left. 2168. What a pop. I know. Are you excited? I'm so excited. I'm pumped right now. Okay.

Oh my god. Is that not the best thing you've ever had? Oh shit. I don't know what this texture is. It's kind of slimy, but I love it. That is the thickest milkshake. Ever. You know what we kind of sound like right now? What? You know those fetish videos? No. What? Wait, do you not know what? Is this one mine? Both are ours. Okay. Same thing. Oh, okay. Look at the animal-style fries. Wow, the smell. The burgers are the same. I'm really excited for you to try this burger.

Oh it's so big. Wait I'm gonna take my tomatoes out because I'm a pussy. I hate tomatoes too. Can I throw them in the bag? Okay ready? Cheers. Cheers. Oh wait that's so good. My god. Wow it's such a good bite. Suddenly I feel so much better. I got pickle with that one. How good? Oh wow the pickle changes the game.

Mm. Mm-hmm. Followed by this is insane. Oh, my God. Wow. And this all together was, like, 20 bucks? Mm-hmm. Fuck me. I'm moving to LA. Right? Uh-huh. Like, where do you go for fast food in London? Like, where is your spot? Like, if you're like, I... Like, I don't. You don't? Like, Joe and the Juice, if you can consider that fast food. No. That's fast casual. That's fast casual. Okay, that's what the fuck you want, mate. Mm-hmm. Because, like, it's a little, like, more upscale than fast food. But it's also, like, a coffee shop. Mm-hmm.

Wow, this is like game-changing. I don't know the Heimlich maneuver, please be so careful. I literally just fell. That was the craziest thing that's ever happened. Is it doubling back on you? Oh my god, that's actually so scary. I would not save your life, like I don't know how. I wouldn't even know how to like get you out the fucking car. We're parked so close to that side of the door and have to like drag you over. Yeah, I would have died.

Thank God that it just, it passed. Dying it in and out. It's kind of cool. Oh, no. Where'd he die? Eating in the parking lot of In-N-Out. Put a little plaque. So what the fuck is on these that's different? Special sauce, cheese, and onions. Is the special sauce in this burger as well? Uh-huh. Fuck, I wish they would come to the UK. I know. But like, we don't have like Nando's and I love Nando's.

It's sad that you guys don't have Nando's. I know. There's a lot of competition for it here though. It might not thrive. Really?

Yeah, like, in the UK, that's, like, the best of the best. Like, you guys have so much here. What's your Nando's order? Since you hate chicken, though. The thing with Nando's is their sauces are so fucking good. Uh-huh. So I get the mushroom pizza, and then I get the hummus with the peri-peri sauce. Ooh, okay. And the flatbread. Uh-huh. I love peri-peri sauce. Mm-hmm. I also only discovered what Nando's was at the ripe age of, like, 10. I'm not a whore-em or someone.

Not horrid? 'Cause like, One Direction was obsessed with Nando's. Really? And I was obsessed with One Direction. Really? Uh-huh. This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions,

Mejuri approaches fine jewelry a little bit differently. Each one of their pieces is handcrafted by jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Created by women for women, Mejuri is breaking down barriers in what has long been an exclusive and occasional category of men buying for women.

In 2020, the brand launched the Mejuri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. Because fine jewelry doesn't have to cost the world, feel good about your jewelry in more ways than one. Start stacking your favorites, shop online, or visit the website to find a store near you. My addiction was One Direction and Harry Styles.

Damn, he's been around for a minute. I know. They must be so tired. I know. Can you fucking imagine? He's been doing it for like 10 years. He was a baby. I think he was 16. Yeah, he was. He was really young. Yeah, because he was doing his A-levels. Oh my god. How crazy. I always think about how they just threw those boys together in a van. And it worked. And there was like

Not only did it work, but they had other boys and they were going through their pictures and being like, this one, this one, maybe this one, maybe this one. And there's a boy who would have missed that cut by just a flick of a button. And it's like, that's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. They have to live with that. You could have been- In One Direction. In One Direction. You could be completely sorted in life. You know what I mean? I mean, their music holds up. Oh, 100%. Were you a Directioner?

No, I was... Bleeber? I really did not fancy men until my adulthood. So I was a... Did you ever know Little Mix? Of course I know Little Mix. I was big on Little Mix. Who do I like in that one? Okay, start naming the people. There's Jessie Nelson. There's Jessie Nelson. And then the one I liked, I think her name was Jade. Yes, Jade Thirlwall. That would be her. I love her. Fuck, I remember I went to go see... Actually, you know what's kind of crazy? I went to some show...

This is right before One Direction blew up when they were still on the X Factor and they went to the X Factor show. So there was One Direction and Little Mix and I don't know if they were in the same year. Were they? That'd be kind of iconic. Maybe they were like a year. I don't know. It was like some kind of finals show and they had Little Mix perform. Maybe they had already done it. Uh-huh. Wait, no. This was... No, I'm lying. This was two different occasions. I saw One Direction on the X Factor before they...

Or was it Britain's Got Talent? It was X Factor. It was X Factor. Are you sure? Positive. Oh. I went to the X Factor. It must have been the finals. Saw One Direction. Didn't give a fuck. Obsessed over Little Mix. Right. And I made my mum buy me a shampoo because I read in the magazine that Jade used that shampoo. Uh-huh. It's hot in here. Do you want to open the window? You guys, I get hot so damn easily.

Right, let's slime and then we have to fucking go. Yeah, we have to. Guys, we are taking our damn sweet time. Yeah, we really are. I kind of went into some kind of fixation on that food. I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. You was. Well, you couldn't breathe. I am the messiest eater. You guys are going to be appalled at me at the end of this. Okay, are we done with this? Come on, I'm really excited for the slime. What's inside? Hopefully fucking slime. Are we going to have to mix it? Oh, no.

This is really innovative. Or do you want blue? I don't care. Wait, shut the fuck up. Ooh. The dealership, when they get this car back, is going to be like, what the fuck happened in here? Is that just full of little pots of slimes? There must be more. What else is the deal? There's another thing here. I'm combining the slimes. Yes, that's what we want. That's what we want. That's what we want. That's sweet.

Wait, this is the slime we've been dreaming of. You know what? Whoever gets this car after Madeline, she is so sorry. It's going to have to go to the repair shop. Yeah, it's going to have to. Okay. How do you do? Please help me. Thank you. I can't. Ew, it's made my hands feel so strange. That's what I'm saying. What else have we got? There's little packets. I'm going to get this. Whether my life depends on it.

Oh, look, things to mix in. Oh, I love that. Do you do it? Yeah, I bet it. Proud of you. Ooh, whoa. I'm going to make a mess and put chrome powder in it. This is the most messy one I could have possibly gone for. Ooh, I'll have a little too. Oh, yeah. That's like glitter. This car is so bejeweled. Ooh.

People on air one are going to be like, did you guys just come from like a strip show? Like, what is this? We should go to a strip show. We should go to a strip show. I saw this one on, um, on sunset called, Oh, it's called the body shop. Uh-huh. They also have the deja vu. That's the one I went to in college once. Oh really? It was crazy. Me and all my girlfriends went one night.

You know they don't serve alcohol at some strip clubs. Why? I don't know. That part was very confusing to me. Do you want juice? And we were like, not really. Maybe because it all needs to stay, like, consensual. Yeah. I fucking love this. I could put this over my whole body. I kind of like this too. Oh, look. But you're good at it. Oh. It's patience, I think. Okay. Okay. I want it to go. Oh, my God. Look at us. Oh, you just taught me something. You taught me how to do this.

I was so confused if I wasn't working. It really is patience. And honestly, that was one of my New Year's resolutions. Oh, really? Yeah, because I'm the least patient person ever. Really? Like, the most unpatient. Impatient? Yeah. Impatient, actually. Not unpatient. Imp? Impatient. Right? Yeah. No, you're definitely right. Oh, impatient. This is actually really attractive-looking slime. Okay.

Oh my god, let's go to fucking L1. I'm so excited! Off we go, to L1 at the Grove. Do we know the way? Oh, you know I don't know the way anywhere. You've lived here for how long? Six years. Six years. I could not tell you how to get anywhere. Bye, Hollywood. It's so unsettling. It is.

I also really want to hit up an IHOP. I have had some of my best nights in history at an IHOP. Yes. Is the food edible? So good. Really? So good. Like otherworldly, like my friend Cassidy and I used to fuck up in IHOP. I think we're about to pass my old apartment. Oh, really? Oh my God, yeah. Oh my God.

Um, passing by some, oh, we are not about to pass by the health department. That was so dramatic. Um, passing by some place you used to live is always so weirdly emotional. I know, right? Like, it really takes me back to just like a different time, whether that be good or bad. And it's just like, makes you feel some type of way. Did you like high school? Oh, I thought

I didn't like it very much either. I did not thrive. I was like known to be so like I was like the weird kid that no one would fucking speak to because I did this really elusive thing where I like disappeared for three years and then came back and everyone was like isn't that that girl? That was here three years ago? Yeah and like that weird kid that like we all remember from like year seven and like now she's like back and her hair is cut off and black and

And, like, I was definitely just so elusive. I remember I, like, once got invited to this cool kid party, like, by fucking chance. Like, I knew no one going, but all the kids from my year were there, like, the cool kids. Right. And I remember this, like, the coolest boy in the year, he, like, pulled me outside, and he was wearing, like, a nun outfit, and he was, like...

All the boys in our year want to get with you, but we all know that you have, like, really bad OCD and, like, went crazy and, like, left school. So no one wants to, like, get with you. Wait, Madeline, I had no idea you struggled with such OCD. Like, me, I struggle with... And I've never met someone that also, like, has it bad like me. Yeah, I was housebound for three years. Yeah, it's gnarly. It's awful. And people, like, think it's, like, you're, like, a neat freak. Like, that's not it. Like, my OCD, I don't know if you're comfortable talking about yours, but mine was, like, very, like...

I had like, I was very number specific. I had to touch things a certain amount of times. I had to make things even. I had to like watch a scene four times. I had to like look like crazy. I'm kind of similar, but mine was more like, um, I became obsessed with incubation periods of viruses. And so I knew I basically have a fucking microbiology degree at this point, the amount of Googling I've done. So I had like all these like numbers and times like put in my head.

And I would be like, like, if I touch a surface out in public, I would convince myself that that virus, that bacteria got into my skin. And then I had, like, 72 hours before I was, like, clear to not, like, be contained. Like, it was, like, incubating in me. Oh, and yet it's, like, a guilt thing, too. You feel guilty if you go out of the incubation period. I felt guilty, but I was also, like, terrified to get sick outside of my house. Yeah. For some reason, like, I was terrified to get sick in my house as well. I just basically was in hell for, like, three months. Fuck, I'm really sorry. Oh, no, it's fine. Character development, you know what I mean?

And that's what I always say. Yeah, I mean, I would actually love if it was character development and an ongoing, prevalent issue in my life. It's so funny, because, like, things, like, I think, like, oh, I'm so past my OCD, but then so much of how I behave is, like, so OCD-y. Oh, God, yeah. Like, I get really obsessive over things. Like, I go through phases. Same. Like, really intense phases. Yeah. I also get upset, like, when I see people come and, like, you don't have OCD, your car is messy, you don't have OCD, meep, meep, meep, meep.

Yeah.

No. And then I go fucking crazy and I'm like, guys, no, you can't say this thing to me. Like, I will scrub my skin. Yeah. I will exfoliate my entire body. Like, I will drink bleach. People used to say that to me all the time in high school. They'd be like, you don't have OCD. You've, like, self-diagnosed yourself. I'm like, um, like, maybe yes, but also maybe, like, this is, like, textbook OCD. I'm knowing I have OCD. Yeah. And it made me feel like such an idiot when they would, like, try to discredit it.

I hate it. I'm sorry. At least we're not together. I'm sorry too. Yeah, damn, that makes me feel really close to you. That you also deal with that. Okay, we're going to Erewhon. Okay, so this was the Erewhon that I started to go to in college. And I lived a few blocks away from here, actually, so I wasn't too far off the bat. And this was the Erewhon that I would go to all the time. I would walk here all the time for lunch and dinner. Okay.

You've been living in a different world. I'm so jealous. Okay, so, over here. Do you like sushi? Uh, kinda. This is their version of crispy rice. I wish I came here hungry. I know, I'm so full. I know. Wow, the flowers are so cute. You know what we'll do? We'll pick up snacks for you. These are really where the flowers are. Thanks, Mama. Okay, these are like, do you like dried fruit?

I love this place. You have the slime glitter. No, I don't. No, it looks really nice. Okay, we're... It looks really good. What the fuck is this? Dry kale? Yeah, that's kale chips. Trail mix. But this isn't going to be good. It's $12.50 for this. They have kale chips. Not my personal name. Okay, come on. Do you like seaweed? Yes. This is good. Oh, ew, I don't like the color of that. This is where the fun begins. Okay. Okay.

Best popcorn, best popcorn in the world, actually. I actually would love Bajoran corn to see this. I love you guys. You guys, me and Madeline are so damn full. I feel pregnant. Huh? I have to get out of here. Oh, thank you.

I don't know where I'm walking. Where is the valet? Oh, over here. You guys, honestly, you've gotten a really awkward take of our day. This is... We've really done it all today. I know. We do have one final stop, though. Oh, yeah. Thanks for that, too. Yeah. I need to take up a habit today. It's going to be so sick to have stuff for being calm. You'll see. It's a surprise. It's the weed store. We are pulling up.

To our final stop a cannabis dispensary Yeah, you are and there's a spot right in front We are we are at Mad Men. We are here to get some medicine Look this is it Oh my god, they have much. Yes Okay, so this What are you looking for?

Oh, honestly, I could use those. My meds make me have a really old sex drive, if I'm gonna be transparent with everyone on this video. - What is this? - What is this? Let's stop right here. - These are joints. - Oh, yuck. - These are joints. These are disposables.

Yeah. I'm scared though. You don't smoke, right? No. Maybe I'm just more here to show you rather than sell you one because I feel like you might bug out in a hotel room. I bugged out. I jumped out of a window the last time and I'm now on the sixth floor of the high rise so I think I better have to... So we're gonna leave. Should we get out of here? Every store we enter that's not Madeline's car is giving me really bad anxiety.

Bye guys, thank you! Okay, so like we were used to people being friendly everywhere we went, but I'm not sure if that was like my favorite environment we've been in today. I felt some hostility. Yeah, that was not my favorite. Oh my god, guys. That concludes our day almost. Oh my god. Aww. Why is all the grass fake? Riddle me that. Why? Is it?

Yeah, this isn't real is it? Oh, that's not real. No, it's real. I haven't seen any real girls. Because everything here is fake. Okay, let's drive back to the hotel. You guys, we only have so little left together. So little time. I feel like I've known you for absolute years. Do you feel the same or am I crazy? No, I do feel the same. It's crazy our first date was only two days ago. I know. I know. I know.

I wore my gag shirt. You did? She has her Nimmin gag shirt. Did you like it? Was it comfortable? My Nimmin? Nimmin. We're Nimmin. What is that? It's this thing I do. I'll be like, we're Nimmin. Tit. This is true.

This is why Paloma fucking loves you. That's the friend that just messaged me. This is how she speaks because she's British. Like, okay, like another... Tino, that is not okay. Tisa. So much is making sense now because I was not thinking about her all day and the fact that she's just messaged me and says, this is how she fucking feels to me. She just says words and I just smile. Tisa, this is so awkward. Sino, she is not okay. Tino, he is not okay. So much is making sense. This is what Paloma's been saying to me this whole time. Yeah, Neman. We're Neman.

That's so fucking funny. Can I turn right on this red? I don't think I can. Oh, I can. Should we make a NIMH video? Would you do it? Would you actually? I would. Guys, we can't get out of the car yet. We have to pull up and just say, give us a second. Because there's something we have to do. Okay, so you think of a NIMH, okay? A NIMH would be like just an abbreviation. So like come up with it. Like ITG in the garage. Ah!

Right? Okay. So we just need- You are so funny. We just need to do it, okay? Honestly, you guys, you can watch us make it. I've got one. Okay, you do. Okay. Are you ready? Are you ready? We're gonna do this really fast, okay? So I'm gonna say, we're nimming. We're gonna say it at the same time, okay? Okay. We say we're nimming? Yeah. Okay, ready? Ready? One, two, three. We're nimming! Okay, okay. Ready? Go first. Oh, I have to come up with one now? Okay. Do you have one? Yeah. Okay.

Hutville. Is that right? You have to say what it means. Oh, holding up the valet lane. Okay, wait. One more time. One more time. Ready? One, two, three. Hutville. Holding up the valet lane. Okay, my turn. Um... Okay, tell me when to go. Tell me when to go. Go, go, go. Mia. Madeline is awesome. You are so funny. Goodbye, everyone. This has been the thrill of a lifetime. I love you all. Tense up.

I'm going to text you in an hour. I will. Good luck. I believe in you.