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Hi guys, welcome back to this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome.
This week, I'm a little bit late to this trend, but I wanted to talk about ins and outs this year because I think I have, I'm not going to call them hot takes, but I have some ideas because randomly, okay, you know when it was about to turn the new year and I was like, I don't really believe in the new year. Like every day is a new start. Like the new year is kind of a weird mentality to me. Like I see why it could help, but like I feel like you should be viewing your whole life like this. Like I don't like that we only think it comes around once a year.
the chance for a fresh start, I was like, me, me, me, me, me. And then the new year hit and I was like a new woman. Like I felt so refreshed. I felt so happy. I was like, oh my God, this is my chance. Like it randomly, like new year's never happened to me. Like the new year always just passed me by and I was always like never a resolutions girl, never anything. And then this year, guys, I haven't had one flop day since the new year started. Now, granted, it is only a few weeks into the new year.
But that is still a record for me. Like genuinely an all time record is like two weeks without a single day of hopelessness or waking up with a void in my chest, you know? And there's no reason for me to be feeling like this. Like my life is no better than it was December 31st. You know what I mean? Like my life actually was pretty...
We were in a bit of a dire situation before the New Year's. Like, my life was just crumbling around me. And I just had various situations where I was like, you know, it was less than ideal. And I was like, oh, God, like, what am I doing? This isn't even funny anymore. Like, this lost its appeal. I'm not like young, cute teenager in distress anymore. I mean, I am. But like, also, I'm not like, also, this is starting to feel...
a bit embarrassing. So I was like, wow, why is my life a mess? And then New Year's hit and suddenly everything has fixed itself. I don't know why. My point is, is that I have been more mindful of everything that I do in the last couple of weeks and why I'm doing the things that I'm doing, why I'm feeling the things that I'm feeling because of the fact that it's the first time I felt good in so long. I'm like,
what is the potion? How did I get here? How do I stay here? You know what I mean? So I'm like writing down everything I do to the point of like my daily routines. I'm like, well, today was a good day. Now I woke up at exactly this time. I had exactly this for breakfast. Then I did this. I watched this amount of television and I spoke to my mom this many times. Like, okay, I know it's in here somewhere. I know the fucking secret ingredient is in here somewhere. So I
So because of this, I have now decided my ins and outs of 2024. My first in of the year is handwriting. Now, I have never been a person who is that inclined to write with my hands because I don't have naturally nice handwriting. It's not like cute handwriting. And I've never been able to make anything. Well, to be fair, I've never made anything look cute in my life. Like when people do like nice handwriting and then they highlight little bits of the writing so it looks like it's a shadow. I've never been able to figure that one out.
And like, I can't even make bullet points look cute. Like some people just know how to do those things. I'm not one of them. But I have recently rediscovered writing with my hands because everything I do is online. I type on a laptop. I type on my phone. I use my little keyboard.
pencils for my little tablets and I'm always even if I'm like drawing with a pencil on a tablet it's still electronic like I do not write when I was at uni I used to write a lot I had like nothing online I did everything by hand because it entered my brain way better if I did it like that so that's just how I did it even though it was really time-consuming
But then I graduated. And since then, I've barely picked up a pen. But something came over me recently where I was like, I need to start journaling again. I need to start diarying again. Like I need to put my thoughts on hard paper because I wanted to have them to look back on. I wanted to start diarying and is diarying? That sounds wrong. It sounds like diarrhea. I wanted to start keeping a diary because I was like, how am I doing all these fun things? And I'm not even going to be able to look back on my thoughts about them.
I might as well not be doing them because they're going to be a moment for a moment and then they're going to be memories forever and I'm not even going to have anything to remember them by. That seems pointless to me. So I've started diarying. I've started keeping a diary and it really prompted me to start writing my feelings down again. Like it started out, I just wanted to write like, today I did this, today I did this, like just basics. And then it started to motivate me to write down exactly how I'm feeling,
And I realized I'm so much more inclined to be honest and to actually take time and think about what it is that I'm saying when I have a pen in my hand and paper. And I just think it is so cute to have a hard log copy of your life. Like...
God knows what's going to happen in like 40 years from now when we're old and we have kids. Like social media might still exist. People might fucking hate it. Like probably the same apps won't exist. And like if they don't exist, like say the internet crashes. Have you downloaded all the videos you've ever posted? And like do you have spare copies of all your Instagram pictures? Like because I don't.
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Technically, everything could just disappear, right? I don't have anything saved anywhere else. And also, it's just not that cute looking back on photos on a camera. Like,
It's also just not that cute looking back at things online. Like I want a hard copy that I can show my kids or like hand to my kids and they can like read the diary that I kept when I was 22 years old. Like that is so incredibly cute to me and just so much more worth it. And like, like I said, like memories are so permanent and the moment is so temporary. Like why am I not doing more to preserve the memory of something? Because I like to live in the moment, but I want to live in the moment fully. And then at the end of every day, come home and just like
memorize it you know what I mean like it's so life is so special and I think I've realized this year that it is passing me by so incredibly quickly like I did not realize how short a year is I remember at the start of 2023 I said to my friend or they said something like oh in December so it was like January 2023 and they were like oh in December 2023 do you want to go to this place and I was like are you asking me if I'm available in December in 12 months like I don't fucking know
And they looked at me and they're a few years older than me. They looked at me and they're like, do you think a year is a long time? I was like, yeah, I think a year is a long time. And they were like, it's not. Like December's around the corner. The way that freaked me the actual fuck out. Like I have genuinely been in an existential crisis ever since that day. Because what do you mean? Because also they were right. And that is the most disturbing part. And I thought about it the entire year. And it's just made me realize like to me, a year was the longest period of time there was. It was a year.
And then you start another one. But I'm like, now I'm just seeing years slightly differently. Like that. It's just such a small amount of time a year. Like it sounds long, but it's not. It's only 12 months and a month is so quick and you only have 12 of them.
But I think the nicer thing about the passage of time moving more quickly for me, I guess it just happens as you get older, the years start to seem shorter because you've done more of them. But like, I don't know, it's just like, I feel like I was, it's just so weird as well, because I feel like I was six years old for 20 years. Like I, six lasted forever, seven lasted forever, eight lasted forever. And then like my teenagers lasted forever. Like I was 16 for an eternity. I was 14 for like 12 years.
And then I was 20 for about three months. Like it went so quickly and it scares the living shit out of me because I'm literally going to be 50 before I know it. Oh my God, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay, so the next in, and this one is way more exciting than the other one, is peppermint tea or chamomile tea. So I have tried to reduce how much I drink alcohol for a long time and I still fall...
Like I still will go out to a meal and be like, I'm not going to drink because I'm not getting drunk. Like we're not going out. We're going for a meal. And then I'll sit down and someone orders wine. And the next thing I know, I also am having a glass of wine and I'm not going to go out and get pissed. Like it's not we're not going anywhere. I'm just going to have a couple glasses of wine. It's going to feel great over dinner. And then I'm going to go home. And there was really not that much point of drinking it.
Like it's a great way to de-stress a couple glasses of wine before dinner. Then you eat the dinner, you've sobered up really quickly and you can go on with kind of the rest of your evening without being drunk. Like that's nice. That's the kind of thing I do on Christmas. But like it kind of got to the point where I was just drinking one glass of wine with dinner. Like what is the point of that? The taste isn't that phenomenal. You don't get the buzz. You've just done something that's really not that healthy for you.
physically or mentally. Like, what was the point of that? What was the point of that glass of wine? You just did it because you were tempted, but why? It's like a compulsion almost, like you have to drink the wine because you just think you'll have more fun if you do, but ultimately you don't. So I've been really trying to be mindful about trying to drink more intentionally or just drink less in general. Well, both.
And then I wasn't really hanging around the kinds of people that facilitated that kind of change, which is fine. Like they're on, they're doing their own thing. You know, most of my friends work really stressful jobs or they're still at university. So they are very much entitled to their glass of wine with dinner. But I'm just kind of, I just feel a little bit like, why do I need to sit there and have a glass of wine? I didn't just work a 10 hour shift.
So anyway, life-changing moment, like a week or so ago, I went out to dinner with two girls, one of which I met when I sat next to her at a fashion show. I'd never met her before. And I sat next to her at the show and we just became friends and we went and got, this was so long ago. Well, it was like last fashion month, so like September. And we've been trying to like hang out ever since, but we've never been in the same city or we've been in the same city, but our schedules are crazy. So we finally managed to get dinner and her friend came along.
And they're both just these, like, gorgeous, intelligent, like, I go and I get dinner with these girls and they're just, like, I'm a little bit in awe of them both. And, like, anyway, I'm like, oh, God, are they going to order wine with their dinner? Because I don't know what their vibe is or, like...
I was driving so I was like I don't want to drink anything because I can't have one glass of wine and still drive home like I am such a fucking lightweight like I won't be drunk off of one glass of wine but I will be like I probably shouldn't drive like I can feel it in my blood like I can feel it in my head like my thinking isn't impaired but like I know I can feel the alcohol in my body because I'm such a fucking lightweight so I don't drive if I've had like anything to drink but
So I was like, oh, like, I don't know if they're going to order wine because like the waiter's there and the waiter's like, what can I get you guys to drink? And then they both ordered a chamomile tea.
And I was like, why is that so cute to me? Like, I've never thought to order tea with my dinner. And so I was like, oh, my God, fucking genius. And I was like, I would love a tea. So I ordered a peppermint tea because that's my favorite kind of tea. And then we all ordered dinner. It's like a nice restaurant. I got cod. I don't know why cod has made such a strong comeback, but it has. Like, I got the cod first.
um at Nobu recently which that's a kind of insane sentence to say but it is so fucking good I don't know what they glaze it in but I just never thought cod would be my kind of thing like first of all I don't really eat meat or fish but I'm now like sincerely on a fish grind and it's because of cod but anyway
I've decided that fish is like my new health kick. Anyway, so they've ordered tea with their dinner and I'm like, oh my God, genius. The tea comes, we're sipping it. It's so enjoyable. Dinner comes, I've got tea to sip while I drink my fish. Wait, what? Dinner comes and I sip my tea while I eat my cod. And then I leave the restaurant feeling full, but not uncomfortable and genuinely refreshed. Like,
So much healthier than when I entered, like actually had scored health points by being in this restaurant. And then I was like, oh, my God, that restaurant just felt like it facilitated me. Because usually what I do is I go out to eat and I leave feeling like shit because I overindulge, like I eat too much and I eat something that's probably not the best for me.
I'm not a big go out to eat kind of person. I mean, I've been doing it more recently, actually, but it causes me anxiety to eat food that I don't prepare. So it's not my favorite thing to do, but I do challenge myself to do it like quite a lot. But yeah, when I do go out to eat, I usually order one of my safe foods, which is definitely something based in like carbs, like pastoral pizza or something. So I usually don't feel the best when I leave. And nine times out of 10, me and my friends will have a glass of wine or whatever and
someone's probably got a vape, someone's probably got cigarettes. Like, I don't feel amazing after I go out to eat or I go out for a drink. Like, I always come back feeling a little bit worse. But I walked out of this restaurant eating a meal that definitely made me
that gave my immune system something or gave my brain function something. And I had a cup of tea for digestion and for health and for wellness. You know what I mean? I felt on top of the world. I was like, this is great. This is how life could be. Is this how these girlies do it? Like, is this why they're so beautiful? Is this how, is this what they fucking do?
Fuck the facials. Fuck the beauty secrets. Like this is what they do. They drink tea with their dinner. I knew it was something fucking simple. So the day after I went for dinner with them, I was still like just mind blown. And my friend invited me down to the local pub because she was having like a leaving do. And I was like, oh, like I really want to go see her because she's going to leave for a long time. So I was like a little bit nervous to go to the pub, honestly, because I was like, I know everyone's going to be drinking and I'm going to be tempted. And then
I come home and told my mom about the tea situation. So she was like, why don't you go and get tea? Like, get yourself a tea at the pub. And I was like...
That is so exciting. I could have tea at the pub too. So I go down and I order my little tea and we'll all sit outside and it's fucking freezing. It's like minus one degrees. I don't know why we sat outside and I have this little tea and everyone's commenting on it like, oh, that's so cute. Like you're drinking tea. And I was like, yeah. And everyone's like, that's such a good idea. I was like, yeah, I'm warm and it's delicious. And they were like, wow. They never thought of it. Everyone's minds were blown. And the tea cost me £3.50 though.
Not happy. Not happy about that. Really, like, come on. Like, that does make me want to drink alcohol, that price. But anyways, yeah, £3.50 for one thing of tea. Could have bought, like, four packs of tea for that. But anyway, forgive and forget. Yeah, it was just so refreshing. And I just think I kind of forgot that you can do little things like that that are genuinely pleasant to do. Like, go buy yourself a sash of peppermint tea.
And the thing is, like, I think the reason I've been put off doing things like that before, and this is going to sound really bad, but it's like, you know, when you see those overwhelmingly clean girl, motivated girl, like five to nine before the nine to five videos, and they're always drinking fucking tea or matcha. And I'm like, yeah, God, that looks so fun. But I know that's just out of my league.
I know it is because I'm not going to do this. I don't even have the life to facilitate this because my house, first of all, I live with my mom. Second of all, our house is cluttered because we've lived in it for 23 years. My mom will kill me if she hears me say that. It's not cluttered, but we've lived in it. It has stuff in it. So the counters have stuff on them and they're not marble counters. And I'm just like,
it's not going to be enjoyable for me to try and like copy your routine because I'm not waking up to a granite countertop and I'm not waking up to a Keurig machine and I'm not like my bed sheets aren't white and my room isn't minimalist. Like I, it's just not attainable for me. Like that lifestyle is not for me. I mean, maybe one day when I get my like hot girl, clean girl, new build flat, maybe if I ever do decide to do that. But like,
There's no point. So I don't actually feel that motivated by those videos. I enjoy watching them, but it's not like for a motivation thing. It's more, if anything, it makes me feel a little bit worse about myself because I'm like, this is so far from anything that I could achieve. I mean, I could achieve more than what I've just seen in the video. It's just not going to look like that.
Which is also fine, but you know what I mean? But they're always doing these matcha things and like, it just puts me off. I'm like, well, I don't feel motivated to go and buy matcha or to go and buy tea leaves because I'm not trying. I'm not even going to try and replicate what I've just seen. ♪
This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions, Mejuri approaches fine jewelry a little bit differently. Each one of their pieces is handcrafted by jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Created by women for women, Mejuri is breaking down barriers in what has long been an exclusive and occasional category of men buying for women.
In 2020, the brand launched the Missouri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. Because fine jewelry doesn't have to cost the world, feel good about your jewelry in more ways than one. Start stacking your favorites, shop online, or visit the website to find a store near you. This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you thought bubble tea was just a trend, think again. In fact...
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joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. This just felt so attainable. And I was like, oh, I can do little things to make my life more pleasant. And they're so easy. And they're so, I forget. I go through these series of self-destruction where I forget that I can do pleasant things like drink a fucking peppermint tea.
And anyway, I think it's a really good way to reduce your alcohol intake as well. And it's just a nice drink to have in public settings and also made me feel a lot calmer. And just having it there and like, it kind of made me feel safe. I don't know, I'm an anxious girly. Things like, occasionally I find random things that help me. And if it's peppermint tea in my hand, cool, I'll do it more often.
Okay, so my next in is more female friends. I last year made one new friend that like I treasure and I'm so grateful that we connected and just met basically. I think I have a limit on the amount of people that I can
hack having in my life. And my limit is honestly two. Like, I can't do it. I really struggle to maintain because I take my friendships so seriously, right? Like, I can't have too many friendships where we're constantly talking. Like, I have two friends that I speak to regularly, that I keep up to date with everything, that I...
feel like I'm fully up to date on their lives as well. Like we're consistent, like we're each other's like main characters at the moment. You know what I mean? Like we're in each other's current seasons. We're fully in the plot. I have two or three maximum of those. And then everybody else are people that I love and I adore and I love their company and they are so crucial to my well-being and just like enjoyment of life generally.
But they're not people that I check in with all the time. Like, they're people I mostly just see face to face and we have an amazing time. But like, honestly, I couldn't tell you their parents' names and like...
If they do something horrendous, I don't feel like, oh my God, did I pick a bad friend? Like, no, because we weren't even like that. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not... Their mental state is nothing to do with me and my mental state is very little to do with them. And it's like, I have my main people, but I can't handle having too many of those because I give so much to them that it genuinely would impede on the rest of my life if I had multiple because...
I wouldn't have the time or the energy. Like, I want to, like, the friendships that I actually have and treasure, I really try and, like, genuinely pour myself into those as much as I can. But I also need to remember that I am a finite resource and I also have other things that I need to do. And sometimes my energy is very low, so sometimes I need to just
literally not even respond to my friends' texts and go make myself breakfast because I only have energy for one. And then if I had like five people texting me like legit things that need heartfelt responses or need me to give a fuck about, like it's over. They're going to hate me because I'm never going to do it. That is why I keep my really close female friendships very minimal and
And I love everybody else, but they're not like people that I'm in touch with all the time. But I think I've underestimated the power of people's presence, even when they're not an immediate like main character in my life, like best friend type of person. I think the more I've started to surround myself with healthy people with good mindsets who are oriented around something I wish to be oriented around, like they are good in a key point of my life that I want to change in. And they're already good in that area. Like
I think I've previously underestimated the power of those kinds of presences in my life. And it's only recently that I've kind of opened myself up to the idea that the world is not so scary and people can have good intentions and you should move with caution and you should be wary and you should consider every possibility in order to keep yourself safe. But also sometimes it is safe to come to the conclusion that people just want you to thrive.
sometimes people actually want something good for you. Like I know crazy realization, but like not everyone is out to get you. I know like who would have thunk it? Some people are just good people. And it kind of took me a while to like really believe that because I hadn't seen a lot of it. So something that I want to do in 2024 is create
a bigger community of healthy people around me and create a community that is intentional and just like lifts me up rather than pulls me down because I previously have had a lot of that around me. This whole everything felt overwhelming to me and I was like I don't know who means well or who wants to kill me so I am just going to think everyone wants to kill me so that I don't let anyone manage to kill me and I will figure the rest out at a later date.
I think I'm getting there. I think I'm starting to realize that I think a lot of times when you feel hopeless, like love's not real and everyone's evil and everyone has these ulterior motives and bad intentions and everything is scary and the world is a bad place and the world is a scary place and dark place and I hate it here. Like sometimes you just have to think, well, I'm capable of loving someone really deeply and with a lot of honesty and loyalty and just like
genuineness, is the word. Like, so I have to then be like, if it exists in me, I can't be that fucking unique. Like, I'm sure it exists in someone else, even if it's one other person. Like, I can't be the only bitch with a good heart out here, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, maybe. But like, if it exists within you, it exists within someone else, is what I like to think. No one's ever alone. So if I'm good, someone else has to be good too. And even when I'm not good, if I work on it,
someone else is going to be sometimes not good and working on it too. And everything is going to be okay. As long as you can prove to yourself that certain factors of you are good and real, then you can trust that they exist outside of you as well. Unless you're a complete egomaniac, which sometimes I am. The next one is trying out new workout classes. There is something so fun about workout classes to me. Like, I don't know what it is. I don't go to the gym. Like separate from workout classes, I do not do anything. I
I mean, I barely even go to workout classes. Like I said in my vlog the other day that my total number for times I've entered my gym this year is three. Not this year, sorry, no. Last year and this year, like ever. Like since I got my gym membership, I've gone three times. Like that is abysmal. But actually, you know what? I actually think the number is higher because...
I realized I wasn't checking in properly like no one ever taught me how to check into my gym and I just thought you had to walk past the desk with your thing open and they would because then I'd walk past and like from day one when I joined the gym I walked in with my thing open assuming that's how you did it because on the app it said get closer and I was like okay so I thought okay I'll walk past the desk with my app open on the entry page and it'll beep me in I don't know
So I walked past and the girl at the desk just went, hi, Madeline. Like, as if I'd been going there for years. And I was like, oh, so she knows who I am. And she knows that I've checked in, like assuming that my face had popped up on the screen and she'd seen my profile and been like, hi, Madeline, meaning I'm checked in. You know what I mean? Like something's come up on her screen.
So I was just like, oh, cool. That's how you check in. I don't know. And then one day I was so anxious about the fact that maybe that's not how you check in. So I went up to the desk. I was like, how do you check in at the gym? And she was like, oh, you have to scan this. And I was like, I've literally just been walking past. But I was like, that is so confusing. Why? Say hi, Madeline. Also, how do you know my name?
This is my first time at the gym. Like I think because it's a bougie gym, I think they literally have to like learn everybody's names. Like I remember when I worked in nice food places, we used to have to do that with our guests. Guys, one sec. I have to put Vaseline on because I don't like using Vaseline out the pot. And I said I'd bought this, but it was going to be like a Petri dish and I was never going to use it. Someone was like, why don't you get Q-tips and then you can just like use it once and dispose of it. And then it's never going to like you'll never put bacteria in the pot.
so thank you to whoever suggested that because I've been doing it and now I get to use my Vaseline again which is really exciting because I haven't used Vaseline in years like I remember I had one in like year seven at school and then I developed OCD and that was kind of a wrap that was a wrap for me in Vaseline so I'm glad to have it back in my life it's genuinely quite thrilling so yeah and then this it will go in my uh
car door until a later date but we're gonna clean up actually i'm gonna clean up my car later i'm kind of excited i think i just tipped my q-tips everywhere i did that's not good because now they're not clean fuck my life guys look wait oh things life can just never be easy i think i salvaged most of it also i think i just underestimated wow
I think I just also underestimated the general usefulness of Q-tips. Like they can fix your makeup. They can fix your lipstick. Like because I can't use my hands for anything. Like I can't touch my face with my hands unless I'm like scratching an itch. But like I don't like I can't put my lips to my I can't put my fingers to my lips. I can't put my fingers to my eyes. Like I really don't enjoy touching my face. I mean, I can do it if I've like been home all day and I've washed my hands. But like if I'm out and about, I just won't touch my face.
And I definitely won't touch my mouth. And then having Q-tips, it's like having disposable fingers. It's amazing. So I've been enjoying it. Thank you to whoever suggested that I get Q-tips.
What the fuck was my next point? Oh yeah, workout classes. So my mental health just like got so much better when I started doing workout classes because it gets you out of your comfort zone in a way that is genuinely very good for you. Like, or good for me anyway, I can't speak for everybody, but like it was good for me because I got out of my house for one. That's always good. I met other people and I didn't really speak to them, but I think just being around people again, I feel like in this day and age, we're sincerely lacking energy.
communication with strangers. And I say that with caution because I do meet a million people every year that I don't know. And my job particularly, I definitely meet people that I don't know. But I just feel like so many people work from home now, myself included. Like I don't, I mean, I go out, I go on like a lot of work trips, but I don't go out every day into the world. Like I don't commute anywhere. I don't go in an office. I don't,
Like, I don't know. It's just like when I was at school, I was always everyday interacting with people that I would never see again. And I feel like that's a huge aspect of life that's kind of disappeared with not commuting, not going in an office, like not or not going to communal workspaces. Like, I don't know.
Even just like when you don't have a hobby, you're just kind of in this mundane routine. And a lot of the time you're going to be seeing the same people. And so it kind of refreshed me when I like started going to workout classes and just seeing these people that I was never going to see again or seeing the same stranger every week, you know, but never speaking to them. Like just something reminded me that people exist and that the world is not completely over. Like it just, I don't think I realized how much of myself
the experience of life that I actually did lose to the pandemic. Like, not that I was doing workout classes before the pandemic, but like, I worked on a farm before the pandemic. And we had a basically a community of farmers out in the fields that would turn over all the time. There's always new people. And then obviously, we had customers. And I was just constantly a stream of new people in my life, whether they were there to stay for a month, to stay for a year, or they were just passing through the shop to buy some fucking rice. Like I was
always meeting and interacting with people that I had no business knowing like what I don't need to know you and now it's like the majority of the people that I interact with from work that are strangers that I don't know I have a reason to interact with them we have an agenda with each other
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I'm trying to start reform of Pilates because I don't know. I've never done a Pilates class in my life, but I really want to start. I do spin. Spin is like my the only workout class that I do. And I do it at cycle or I do it at my gym because they I kind of prefer the classes at cycle. But my gym has classes included in my membership. So I just kind of go there because it's free. Well, it's not free, but you know what I mean?
And like also it's my gym, so I'm like comfy there. But I prefer the classes at Cycle. They're just a little bit more fun and they give you the shoes. So that's good. And then I go with my friend and we get coffee.
after we always go to Jolene after spin it's really fun um but like it's just so it's just so fun and I always do early morning workout classes I just get so much more of a kick out of that and I just kind of find it fun like seeing the businessman next to me at spin at 6 30 in the
Can I come? Like, that's so crazy. Like, why are you on a bike? You're sweating to, like, Doja Cat at fucking 6.30 in the morning with me. And then you're going to go run the Shard? I don't know. I've just made that assumption. He's definitely not. But, like...
It's just so entertaining to me. Like, who are you and why are we spinning together? I just love it. It's just a little bit of life, you know? But I just think workout classes are so good for your confidence and trying new things is something that we probably neglect a little bit too much. And I just think it just...
consistently expanding your horizons like since leaving school I've realized I don't learn new things very often I mean always learning and realizing things but like actually just having a consistent stream of genuinely brand new information is like rarer to me now so things like workout classes or even attending seminars that have nothing to do with you can be really fun like I used to do that when I was at university I used to travel into London to go to the open university lectures not
not the open university, but like universities have open lectures and open seminars. Usually they're held on weekends, but they're held by like legit professors. And they're really interesting. Most of the time they're free. Sometimes you pay an entrance fee.
And I used to go to them. They're kind of more like speeches, but they're really interesting. Like a TED talk mixed with a lecture because they're meant to appeal to a wider audience and they're not so specialized, but they just like expand your horizon so much. So I kind of miss doing that. But I guess workout classes are like the next best thing because it's new information. It's a new experience. And you might find something that you really love as well. And it gets you out of bed. It gets you out the house. And then I feel like I always have a better day.
after I do a workout class and after I try something new. So you get a two in one. So now we're going to talk about what's out in 2024. One of my biggest outs is Snapchat. And I'll tell you why. First of all, I don't need Snapchat. Like who the hell that is at my, like who the hell is going to ask for my Snapchat and mean like with good intentions for me in my life?
You know what I mean? Like if a boy is asking me for my Snapchat, given no boy should be asking me for my Snapchat, duh. But like, let's say hypothetically I'm single, a boy asks me for my Snapchat. You think that man has good intentions with me? You think he's going to be respectful for a single second of our relationship? Like, no. Like, why don't you just give me 500 pounds a place and a time? You know what I mean? Like 500 pounds, I'll go buy an outfit. I'm kidding. Duh. But like, give me a time and a place for a fucking dinner or a coffee. If you want to do coffee, we can do coffee. But like,
You don't need my Snapchat. You never are going to need my Snapchat. Ever. Not one day for our...
We could meet today, be married in two years and have kids and live forever and ever. And not one day will you require to have me on Snapchat. I guess it was like an easy way to communicate when we were younger. But like now I'm just like, there's just really no need for this. Like, come on, text me. We're grown. The other reason and the main reason, to be honest, that I deleted Snapchat was I'm trying really hard to minimize the amount of locations that I need to be in on my phone. I want and I need...
everything to just be in one place. So if I'm looking at my texts, I know exactly what I've got to deal with. Rather than having three things to respond to one text, three chats on Snapchat, couple of Instagram DMs, an email, everybody shut the fuck up and text me and you might get a response. But
But like the lingering stress of, and I know it sounds like a minor thing, but like I'm going through my messages, I'm responding to everyone from work. And then it dawns on me that my friend snapchatted me something important 17 hours ago and they know I haven't opened it. And I feel awful. But like I've not opened that fucking app in 17 hours because there's nothing on there for me. I don't need to. So I'm like,
why am I scattering things all over the place? Like, I should just have everything in one place. And I'm trying to minimize the amount of time that I spend on social media and on my phone anyway, because I've realized that I never switch my head off, ever. Like, my head is never off and it makes me burn out. Because I was like, why am I so overwhelmed? My job is not that hard. You know what else is out this year? You know what else is out for 2024? My phone at night time.
And staying up late in general, I don't want to implement a fucking curfew on myself, but I do want to set the general goal that I sleep before 11.30ish p.m. at night. Basically, I want to allow myself to be up in the morning and to have actually had the required amount of sleep at night. Like, that's the ultimate goal. I realized that I was never not sleeping.
living within the internet and I saw this really interesting post online actually and it was this picture of an old computer setup like the kind you had in like the early 2000s and it was like basically a big desktop computer on a big desk and there were CDs up the side and then there was a big monitor like there was a monitor and then there was the computer like hard drive that used to be the size of like a fucking four laptops together now and and the big printer and
It was this whole big setup, right? And the post was saying, I miss when the internet used to be a place. I miss when you used to be able to sit down here and go to the internet. And then when you would stand up from the chair and walk away, you were no longer on the internet. You were no longer in that place. That place remained right there, right? You could go to it and then you could walk away from it. And they were basically saying now...
there is no escape. Like everywhere is the internet. You carry it with you everywhere you go. You can tap in at any point and in all truthfulness, you never fully tap out. And the internet is so big.
and just such a everybody's on it kind of thing that it's it is woven into reality just as much as fucking coffee drinking or the alphabet like it is so it is not somewhere you either are or aren't you are there all the time you can't not be there to not be there is such an intentional choice you have to change the entire way you live it's virtually impossible to
to not be there all the time because you can't just be there some of the time. You know what I mean? What are you going to do in the modern world if you don't want a phone?
okay so what job are you going to work like you you literally can't not be on the internet unless you want to live completely separate from the rest of society to remove yourself from the internet is to remove yourself from society it is no longer a place that you can just go and they also said that it's sad because the internet used to be an escape from the real world and now the real world is an escape from the internet i was like oh my god that is fucking deranged that that's how it's got and
I don't like it one bit. Anyway, needless to say, I've been spending less time on my phone. I've been taking intentional time away from it, like I've been turning it off.
But I'll sit on my like tablet in the evening and I'll go on like Pinterest. My tablet is not connected to any of my other stuff, like not my email, not my anything. It's like completely separate. And it literally just has like Pinterest and GoodNotes downloaded on it. And that's it. So I'll like go through Pinterest and I'll get like inspiration for like little outfits I want to wear and just like dumb, mindless stuff.
that soothes me but it's also kind of still like in an element it's still keeping up with like society and trends and culture and stuff because what else is it like it's no nothing is mindless everything is programmed in some way but like it still feels soothing to me and then I'll like go to bed a little bit earlier and
Having actual time to wind down in the afternoon, I think is really important. And I think we neglect it because like for a lot of people, the afternoon is the only time you get to yourself in the entire day. So then you want to spend it on your phone and you want to spend it doing whatever you want to do. But like, I don't think we've realized that that's not actually very much winding down. Like it's a whole nother layer of stress. And especially the kinds of content that you see like on the For You page or even on YouTube, like
And most of the time you're going to come across something that is distressing in some way and you feel like you have to keep up with it to be a good person, to be in the loop, to be in the know about what's going on in the world. But it is stressful. And it's not to say that you shouldn't do all of that and that you shouldn't be in the loop and that you shouldn't be in the know. But should you be doing it right before bed is my point. That's the only time we have.
Okay, you know what else is out for 2024? Is more than one coffee in a day. You know why? Because I genuinely think I'm using caffeine to substitute getting drunk or getting...
in other ways I think like I feel like one is good because it's like the experience of a coffee in the morning it's kind of wholesome you feel like you know it gives you something to do like to live for it gives you something to live for in the morning like you I get it you need a coffee it's early and it genuinely I feel like it wakes me up it makes me enjoy the day it makes me enjoy my morning but then like why am I drinking another one at 4 p.m because I'm tired but I don't know
And after that first one, I don't feel like any of them wake me up in a good way. I feel like they just increase my heart rate. Like the first one, I actually feel my eyes open and I feel like, oh, good, I'm here. I've tasted my coffee. Like I feel like myself now. But yeah.
After that, I drink them and I notice it makes me kind of like more zappy, like a little bit like on high alert, but not really in the way that I want to be. And in a way that makes me fucking exhausted later on because I've like overexerted myself. But like, I'm going to get the same amount of work done. Only I'm doing it like this, like this.
what is the point of that because it's yummy because it feels like I'm doing the right thing to drink a coffee I don't know I just do it it's just a habit it's the same way I always hate talking about this because I feel irresponsible whenever I say but I did used to smoke so like I don't smoke anymore but I smoked cigarettes for a couple of years and I when I was trying to quit I always came back to like why do I even want this cigarette right now like it's not it
it doesn't ever make me feel good. Cigarettes always made me anxious. They always made my stomach hurt. They always made me feel sick. And yet I would intentionally smoke multiple a day. Why? Like it was always so confusing to me. And I realized it was like a compulsion, the same way I now sometimes drink wine at dinner and I don't need to. It's like,
I just have this thing in my head like this will make you feel better you need this anyway those are my ins and outs I know I only gave you like two or three of each and I just waffled the rest of the time but um I had fun so I hope you guys had some fun I think 2024 is a special year I heard someone say that it carries the same energy as 2016 and I was like oh my god why is that so true and then someone else was like it's an election year and I was like oh
Fuck, of course it is. So that's absolutely horrendous. I wish it wasn't an election year. I mean, I'm glad it's an election year because I'm not the biggest fan of the world leaders right now. But I feel like 2024 can be special and I'm excited for it. And we'll be doing a pretty lonesome episode every...
Monday of 2024. So I'm going to have to start getting guests. Who would you guys like to see? Like hypothetically, if I did a guest, who should it be? Because I am going to LA and I am going to New York. And that's where a lot of people live. A lot of people live in those places. So let me know if there's anyone that you want and I'll send them various DMs and I'll beg them to come on the podcast. I embarrass myself. Okay, that's it. Those are my ins and outs of 2024. Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode.
Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. I had fun and I will see you guys next Monday. Same time, same place. I love you very, very much. Bye.