EP. 61 CONNECTICUT - The Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting
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He's the most terrifying serial killer you've never heard of. Haddon Clark has confessed to several murders, but investigators say he could have over 100 victims. At the center of the mayhem, a cellmate of Haddon's that was able to get key evidence into Haddon's murder spree across America,

because hadn't thought he was Jesus Christ. Born Evil, the Serial Killer and the Savior, an ID true crime event. Premieres Monday, September 2nd at 9. Watch on ID or stream on Max. Set your DVR. Warning, the following podcast is not suitable for all audiences. We go into great detail with every case that we cover and do our best to bring viewers even deeper into the stories by utilizing disturbing audio and sound effects. Trigger warnings from the stories we cover may include violence, rape,

murder, and offenses against children. This podcast is not for everyone. You have been warned. Right here at the beginning, we need to add an additional content warning for this episode. We will be discussing a mass shooting that involves the murder of children. It's one of the most disturbing true crime stories in American history, and it's a story that we were very hesitant to tell. But as we approached the state of Connecticut, it was hard to ignore one of its most tragic mass murders, the murders at Sandy Hook Elementary.

Here at Murder in America, we tell stories that describe the violence in our country. And as we all know, America is known for its mass shootings. Now, we're going to be as respectful as we possibly can. But once again, trigger warning. This episode discusses the deaths of children, many children. And listener discretion is heavily advised. Good morning. This message is from the superintendent of the Newtown Public Schools.

Due to reports of a shooting as yet unconfirmed, the district is taking preventative measures by putting all schools in lockdown until we ensure safety of all students and staff. Thank you. On December 14, 2012, hundreds of students and faculty walked into Sandy Hook Elementary thinking it was an average day. It was the last day before winter break. So the children were excited.

Unlike in high school where your last days are filled with finals, the elementary school children were celebrating and having Christmas parties. Some classes were making gingerbread men, others were singing Christmas carols, and eventually all of them were hiding from the gunmen walking through their hallways. It was an eye-opening day for America when we learned that 26 people were killed inside of an elementary school. It was a tragedy that we never imagined would happen.

knew there were monsters here. We've seen it time and time again flash across our news screens. Mass shootings are, unfortunately, a big part of America. We've seen them at our places of work, our malls, movie theaters, concerts.

and even in our high schools. But one place that many people assumed was "off limits" were our elementary schools. Children that age are innocent. They haven't lived long enough to make real enemies or to even understand the true horrors of this world. We all knew there were monsters here. But December 14th, 2012 opened our eyes to a whole new kind of monster. A monster that sought out to harm the most innocent people in our society: our children.

This is the story of the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre. I'm Courtney Brown. And I'm Colin Brown. And you are listening to Murder in America.

It's December of 2012 in the community of Newtown, Connecticut. Christmas was just around the corner, and houses everywhere were covered in holiday decorations. Like many people throughout the U.S., the people of Newtown were spending the week putting up Christmas trees, making plans to visit family, and catching up on some last-minute Christmas shopping, which is exactly what Neil Heslin and his six-year-old son Jesse Lewis were doing that evening before the massacre. You see, Jesse had asked his dad if they could go shopping for Christmas presents,

He wanted to pick out the perfect gift for his family and, of course, his first grade teacher. Jesse's father would later say in an interview that he spent the evening walking through the aisles of a local Walmart, looking at Nerf guns, toy soldiers, and action figures. But as much as Jesse wanted those toys for himself, he put his focus on the gifts that he wanted to buy for his loved ones. Neil would later say, quote, he put thought into it and was proud of the gifts he picked out, end quote. Jesse left the Walmart with four Christmas ornaments.

One for his mom, one for his brother, and two for his teacher, Mrs. Victoria Soto. The next morning, Friday, December 14th, 2012, Jesse got ready for his last day of school before winter break. After getting dressed, Jesse would sit at the kitchen table with his dad and eat his favorite breakfast,

a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich with a side of hot chocolate. Jesse was excited for the day ahead. Not only was he giving his teacher her presents, but his dad was also coming into his class later that day to help decorate gingerbread houses.

Mrs. Soto had invited all of the first graders' parents so that they could all celebrate their last day of school. It was the kind of day that every child gets excited for. Before leaving their house, Jesse made sure to grab his two ornaments for his teacher.

One was star-shaped and read teacher, and the other was shaped like an apple. He couldn't wait to give Ms. Soto her gift. After breakfast, Jesse's father drove him to school. Once the two pulled up to Sandy Hook Elementary, Neil watched as his son gathered his things and got out of the car. But right before Jesse made his way inside, he paused for a moment and turned back around to give his dad a hug.

Then strangely, out of the blue, Jesse tells him, quote, It's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be okay, Dad. Neil was confused by his son's comment, not knowing exactly what he meant. Little did he know, that would be the last time he would ever hear his son's voice. And as Jesse walked through the entrance of the school, Neil drove away, not knowing that his life was about to be changed forever.

Neil would never make it to the classroom to make gingerbread houses with Jessie. No parent that day would, and everyone went on with their day as they would any other. Principal Dawn Hawksprung wore a bright smile on her face as hundreds of children entered the school that morning. She was especially happy because the night before was the fourth graders' winter concert. They had sung a variety of Christmas and Hanukkah songs and ended their show with Light the Candles All Around the World, a traditional holiday song.

Principal Hawksprung was proud of their performance and spent the morning congratulating the fourth graders. She loved her job, but she loved the children even more. Dawn became the principal of Sandy Hook in 2010, two years prior. And over the years, she had a reputation of not only being fun and caring, but she also made it one of her priorities to keep the children of Sandy Hook safe. She had even told her staff, quote, "We can't control what happens inside of their homes, but when they come here, our children need to know they are coming to a safe haven."

End quote. Dawn cared deeply for her students and their safety, so much so that she had recently implemented new bus rules after learning that children were walking home after school by themselves. According to her new guidelines, quote, students between kindergarten and fourth grade would be let off at the bus stop only if a parent or older sibling was around to walk them.

End quote. After Don had become principal, a lot of new safety measures were put into place at Sandy Hook, and a lot of these changes were made to protect the students from the outside world. Before, anybody could just walk inside the front entrance of the school, but administrators realized that this could be dangerous, so they put a lot of money down to improve the security of Sandy Hook Elementary.

Now, as soon as the clock struck 9:30 AM, the school's main entrance closed and locked. To get inside, visitors had to ring a doorbell where the faculty could see you from a security camera and buzz you in. Then, once inside the building, the guests would have to show their identification. This made it to where no one could enter the school if they weren't supposed to be there. The only problem was that their entrance windows weren't bulletproof.

something they probably never thought they would have to consider. But in addition to the security measures, the school had also been practicing safety drills throughout the year. During the drills, the school would go into a practice lockdown where teachers would have to tape construction paper over the classroom door's window, turn off the lights, and the students would have to find a secure hiding spot and remain quiet. It's sad that we even have to have these drills for children, but it was those very drills that went on to save many lives in Sandy Hook Elementary on December 14th, 2012.

Just before the school day started, the hallways were filled with children walking to their classroom. Many of them were carrying presents for their teachers and holiday treats for their classmates.

I can imagine that there's laughter and happiness in the air, knowing that Christmas is just around the corner. And slowly but surely, as the clock hits 9.30 a.m., the hallways start to quiet down as the children enter their classrooms. It's also at this time when the front entrance of the school locked.

The only person in the main office that morning was the office secretary, Mrs. Barbara Halstead, who sat at her desk and carried on with work as usual. And the office adjacent to hers was the infirmary, where nurse Sally Cox worked. The two women had no reason to believe that danger was slowly approaching the entrance of the school. But suddenly, as the clock struck 9.34 a.m., the silence in the hallways was interrupted by gunshots.

Barbara Halstead had no idea that the sounds were gunfire, and she even yelled out, "What's that?" But when she turned her head towards the sound, she quickly got her answer. There, outside of the elementary school, was a man holding a rifle, and he had just shot a giant hole through the glass of the front entrance.

Barbara quickly yelled out, Sally, to the nurse in the next room before ducking under her desk. She didn't have any time to give out any other warning because as soon as she ducked down, she watched as the gunman stepped through the broken door and walked into her office. He paused for a moment, looking around for victims.

Barbara Halstead remained under her desk, taking shallow breaths as quietly as she could. Luckily, he didn't see her. Next, the gunman walked into the infirmary where Nurse Sally was. Barbara had hoped that her warning had given her enough time to hide. And it did. Nurse Cox was hiding under her desk when she saw the gunman's legs walk into her room.

She too held her breath, thinking at any moment she was going to die. But fortunately, after a few seconds in the room, the gunman left.

And once he walked out, he closed the door behind him. Barbara and Sally could finally catch their breath. But as soon as the coast was clear, the phone rang. Barbara quickly answered it. Little did she know, she had accidentally turned on the school's intercom system. And as a result, every classroom in Sandy Hook would go on to hear some of the horrors that unfolded that day.

The caller was Mrs. Laura Feinstein, the school's reading specialist. She had heard the strange popping sound and she wanted to make sure that everyone was okay. But all Barbara could manage to say, which was heard over the entire school's intercom, was, quote, there's someone in the building shooting. Get in lockdown.

Barbara hung up the phone, but as soon as she did, it rang again. This time, a parent was calling. They had no idea there was a gunman at the school. The conversation was still on the intercom system as Barbara warned the parent, "There's a man with a gun. He's shooting inside the school. Oh my God." Shortly after this, Barbara crawled into the infirmary with Nurse Cox and placed a call to 911. This was the first 911 call made that morning.

All right.

Sandy, hold the school, please. Near the front entrance of the school was a conference room where Principal Dawn Hawksbrung was having a parent-teacher meeting. With her was a third-grade teacher named Natalie Hammond, a parent, and the school's psychologist, Mary Sherlach. Mary was described by everyone as compassionate and kind.

She always gave children her full and undivided attention and did everything she could to make them feel loved and secure. A colleague recalled an instance where a young girl was too scared to go to school and would refuse to get out of her mother's car every day. And Mary spent every morning in the parking lot with the child, calming her down and telling her,

I know how scared you are, but you're being so brave right now. I'm so proud of you. Mary had planned to retire at the end of that year, wanting to spend more time with her husband and two daughters, but she would never get the chance. Upon hearing the gunshots in the hallway, the three women in the conference room, Principal Hawksprung, Mrs. Sherlash, and Mrs. Hammond quickly jumped up to see what was wrong. When they enter the hallway, however, they see a white male holding a

gun. He's dressed in black, wearing a hat and sunglasses, with yellow earplugs in his ears, and an expressionless look on his face. They were in the middle of the hallway with nowhere to run, and they were now face to face with a gunman. And as he raised his rifle towards them, Principal Hawksbrung shouted to the others in the conference room.

"Shoot her! Stay put!" The intercom was still on. Everyone in the school could hear her frantic voice. Then, Principal Hawksprung did what she could do to try and stop the gunman. She lunged at him, only making it a few feet before he pulled the trigger. Dawn was a small woman, only 5'2", but she spent her last moments doing everything she could to protect her school. Once she was shot, she immediately fell to the ground, and the gunman fired a few more shots into her body.

Next, he aimed at Mary Shurlash, the school's psychologist. She had been standing to the left of the principal and had tried to get away when the shots rang out, but she too was eventually hit and killed. The entire school had just heard the sounds of their principal and school psychologist getting murdered. Mrs. Natalie Hammond, the teacher that was in the conference room with Don and Mary, had been shot multiple times.

But as the bullets hit her, she fell to the ground lying as still as she could. Eventually, thinking she was dead, the gunman left the hallway, giving Mrs. Hammond an opportunity to crawl back inside the conference room. She tried to lock the door, but she couldn't. So she and the other two women hid under the table and did their best to stay quiet.

Meanwhile, the gunman turned down another hallway to find Ms. Deborah Pisani, a kindergarten aide. She was down at the far east end of the hall, about 40 feet away, but she had witnessed everything. Watching the gunman walk towards her, Deborah quickly tried to lock the door to her classroom, but it would only

bolt from the outside. Bullets were now flying down the hallway towards her, and as she spent the extra seconds trying to secure the door, one hit her foot. But Deborah swallowed her scream, locked the door, and went back in the classroom to help her students.

Luckily, the gunman never tried to enter her room. Mrs. Natalie Hammond and Deborah Pisani were the only two people shot that day that would end up surviving. Everyone else, throughout the next few minutes, would succumb to their injuries.

Once the gunman reached the end of that hallway, he came to a point where he had to make a decision. He could either turn left or right. If he turned right, he would run into a group of 25 children who had been rehearsing a play. If he turned left, he would find the first grade classrooms. Adam Lanza chose the latter. Now, before we get into the events that occurred after Adam Lanza took a left turn towards the first grade classrooms, let's take a look into his life.

Adam was born on April 22, 1992, to parents Nancy and Peter Lanza. The couple already had an older son named Ryan, so Adam's arrival into the world completed their family. But just a few years into Adam's life, he started showing some abnormal behaviors. In Andrew Solomon's book, The Reckoning, searching for meaning with the father of the Sandy Hook killer, Peter Lanza, Adam's father, recalls that Adam was three years old when he finally started to talk.

which is a lot later than most children. Adam had also always been sensitive to touch. So sensitive, in fact, the tags had to be removed from his clothes before he could wear them. In preschool and throughout grade school, Adam sometimes smelled aromas that just were not there, and he excessively washed his hands. In kindergarten and first grade, Adam participated in speech therapy and occupational therapy.

and eventually doctors had diagnosed him with sensory integration disorder. This disorder is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes through the senses, according to WebMD. The website goes on to say that some people with this condition are oversensitive to things in their environment.

WebMD goes on to say that most who are diagnosed with this illness are usually children, but it can also affect adults too. Those with issues processing senses are also diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. And as Adam grew, his disorder became more obvious to the people around him.

Peter Lanza recalled that while Adam was a little strange, he enjoyed going to school when he was younger. He also said that he and his son had a good relationship when he was a child. The two would "spend hours playing at two Lego tables in the basement, making up stories for the little towns they built."

But Adam's love of school and his close relationship with his dad would soon change. In fact, the very school that Adam was shooting up that day was the elementary school he attended when he was younger.

And at the time of our shooting, Peter and Adam hadn't spoken in two years. Adam's alarming behavior showed at an early age. But at the beginning, the Lanzes brushed it off thinking he was just a little weird. As the years went on, however, they came to realize that something was wrong. As a fifth grader, Adam wrote a book with a classmate titled

The Big Book of Granny. It was about an old woman with a gun in her cane, and she would walk around killing people with it. In one chapter, the granny and her son attempted to take a boy to a taxidermy to get stuffed.

When Adam tried to sell the book, he got in trouble. A few years later, another teacher noticed that Adam was writing about disturbing violence in his notebooks. She described him as "intelligent but not normal with antisocial issues." And something that may have contributed to these behaviors

was the fact that Peter and Nancy had a rocky marriage. And when Adam was just nine years old, the couple filed for divorce. - And those weren't the only signs that Adam showed of his discontent with schools and life. He often drew violent, frightening pictures which depicted cartoon characters threatening others and committing acts of violence.

In two disturbing illustrations, Adam drew the Trix rabbit and Lucky the leprechaun, two mascots from popular childhood cereal brands, as they prepared to beat up groups of children. And at one point, Adam wrote a paper that described why he hated his elementary school, Sandy Hook. At the top of this list, Adam drew a frowning face with a tear flowing down its cheek and went on to state that he hated Sandy Hook Elementary because of, quote,

It seemed that Adam's hatred of school started at a very young age.

But let's get back to Nancy and Peter's divorce. Peter Lanza, in the interview we were discussing earlier, told the interviewer that with the divorce, there was not a lot of change. He still saw the boys every weekend, and Adam seemed to be fine. He wasn't closed off or overly antisocial. In fact, Peter said about Adam, quote, and talk about talkative, man, that kid, you couldn't shut him up, end quote.

That may have been Peter Lanza's perspective, but we'll never really know what was going through Adam's mind during his younger years. What we do know is that his parents' rocky marriage most likely hurt him more than it helped. Their relationship was extremely unstable. Peter and Nancy didn't end up following through with their divorce that year. In fact, the two kept separating and then reuniting over the next seven years, until they made the divorce final in 2009.

Matthew Lyciak, a daily news reporter, wrote that Adam did not want his parents to separate. Peter would be moving to Avon, Connecticut, which was 50 minutes away from Newtown when traffic was light. The divorce papers also ensured Mrs. Lanza would never need any additional financial help for she or Adam for the rest of their lives. Also, as a part of the approved divorce settlement, Mrs. Lanza would make the final decision in any situation regarding Adam.

Peter agreed to cover the college expenses for his boys, including graduate school if either one chose to go, and he even purchased a car for Adam too. Now, divorce does have an effect on children, but millions of people's parents get divorced, and they don't go on to become mass killers. For instance,

Adam's older brother, Ryan, was a well-adjusted young man. By the time Mr. and Mrs. Lanza had divorced, Ryan was a popular Newtown High School student who had just gotten a car and he was spending more time with friends away from home. We're in no way saying that Peter and Nancy's divorce is one of the reasons why Adam Lanza would go on to commit his crimes, but it is an important part of his childhood. Another big part of his childhood was his sensory integration disorder, which seemed to have a negative effect on him throughout his life.

One common frustration with children who have this disorder is their inability to say what's on their minds. They find it difficult to find the words to communicate messages. To cope with this inability, Adam would throw tantrums, and pretty severe ones. These tantrums seemed to gain more traction in 2006.

when his parents were facing challenges in their marriage. And the tantrums got so bad that on one occasion, Nancy Lanza had to take Adam to the hospital. She was so overwhelmed by his behavior and she didn't know what to do to calm him down. Her older son, Ryan, never dealt with any of these issues.

But when she brought Adam to the hospital, she wouldn't get the answers she wanted. There, the doctors told her that they weren't alarmed with Adam's behavior. In addition, Adam knew how to answer the doctors' questions to avoid being admitted.

He would tell the staff that he wasn't suicidal and that he never had thoughts of hurting anyone. Upon hearing his answers, the doctors said that Adam was in a danger to himself or others. Therefore, he was free to go. The doctors also didn't think it was necessary to prescribe him any medication.

Throughout Adam's life, he never really had any friends.

But there was one kid that Adam hung out with. His name was Jordan LaFontaine. Jordan and Adam were both members in Cub Scouts. Jordan's father, Marvin, would often help Nancy with the Cub Scout meetings. During this time, Nancy and Marvin would take their sons to go practice shooting.

where they would shoot at paper bullseyes and other targets that were shaped like crows. According to Marvin, Adam shot a gun for the first time when he was four years old. An internet search reveals a picture of a young boy, about two or three years old, sitting down in front of a two-level rack filled with upright standing guns and rifles. And what's even more disturbing is that this young boy is dressed in a camouflage outfit resembling an army uniform.

and is holding a gun while chewing on what appears to be the gun's barrel. Some say that it is not Adam who's in the picture, but Business Insider published the picture with a description stating that the young child is indeed Adam Lanza. The picture was a part of a collection of photos the magazine had published that showed the items Connecticut State Police had seized from the Newtown Lanza home. Mr. LaFontaine was also able to observe Adam during target shooting practices.

He could tell that Adam liked the feel of a gun from a very young age. For Nancy, the affinity towards target shooting wasn't dangerous. She had been a farm girl and a tomboy, and she too had developed a love for hunting at a young age. By the time she was 16 years old, she could skin a deer. Nancy grew up with brothers, and often, when she was a teenager, they would play with weapons. Even a landscaper who worked on the Newtown Lanza property noticed Nancy's devotion to weaponry. He had stated, quote,

She spoke often about her fascination with firearms. She had an extensive gun collection, and she was really quite proud of it, end quote. It was known that Nancy was overprotective of Adam. She was able to easily let go of her older son, Ryan, and allow him to run and play by himself.

But with Adam, she tightened the reins a bit. Due to his diagnosis of sensory integration disorder, she was very concerned about him and his ability to cope with others around him. This concern only grew more when Adam was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's is a part of the autism spectrum.

According to AutismSpeaks.org, those who have Asperger's usually have difficulty with social interactions, restricted interests, a desire for sameness, and indistinctive strengths.

The strengths of an individual with Asperger's includes a remarkable focus and persistence, an aptitude for recognizing patterns, and attention to detail. Their challenges include hypersensitivity to the environment and senses, such as light, sounds, and tastes.

They also have a hard time participating in conversations, difficulty when it comes to nonverbal cues, such as how far away you should stand when speaking, uncoordinated movements or clumsiness, and anxiety and depression. All of these symptoms described Adam to a T.

and the symptoms became increasingly obvious once Adam entered school, even before doctors had given him a diagnosis. Adam started Newtown's Reed Intermediate School in January 2003, where things got increasingly worse. He learned the hard way that intermediate school was not like elementary school. He could no longer stay in the same class the entire day. When the bell rang, Adam would have to get up and walk through the crowded hallways.

The noise and lack of space was just too much for his senses. It's even been said that classmates could see the terror on his face as he tried to navigate a hallway. Adam would hug the walls as he tried to walk to his next class. And this anger and frustration with school, something he did not know how to communicate to others, spilled out into his home life. His outbursts became more frequent and he started to resist going to school every day. Nancy tried to get help from the school officials, but she believed they were not doing anything to help.

So she decided to pull Adam from Reed Intermediate School and enrolled him in St. Rose of Lima, Newtown's only Catholic school. She hoped the school's small size and classes would help Adam. She hoped the size would make it easier for teachers to give him the attention he needed, but the move didn't help at all. Adam lasted only eight weeks at the Catholic school, and during that time, school officials had also noticed some alarming behaviors. In one instance, his teacher found some of his drawings that showed people in various stages of death.

His unusual behavior made him a target for school bullies.

Classmates taunted him, and school officials were not able to stop the taunting. In the third grade, Adam would come home with bruises on his body, another sign that classmates were picking on him. But when Nancy asked him what happened, he wouldn't respond. While these issues were concerning, family members would say that some of Adam's best years were during the time he spent at Sandy Hook Elementary. There, he was making good grades and participating in school activities.

But the older he got, the harder it was for him to fit in. Peter Lanza said that Adam would often say he wished he could return to those school days back at Sandy Hook. Little did he know, he eventually would return to the school, but not with the outcome anyone would have wanted. Then, in 2006, Adam started high school. But this time, when the school year started, Nancy felt a little more confident.

She had allies at the school who could help provide support to Adam. The school's administration seemed to be a lot more helpful than his previous school. In addition, Nancy had met a man named Richard Novia, who was the school's head of security in Tech Club.

Together, Mr. Richard and Nancy devised a program that fit Adam's needs. The program made it to where Adam would start his high school career in a private classroom. Then, once he adjusted to the environment, he could start attending classes with the rest of the students.

At first it seemed like Adam was doing well. He showed up every day with his black briefcase and a small pocket protector that carried his pens. But a strange thing his classmates noticed was that his briefcase was always empty. His Latin teacher had also observed some strange behavior.

She noticed that before Adam would sit down, he would sanitize his desk and chair with a bottle of Purell. This had been a habit that Adam had begun years earlier when he became fixated on germs. In his tech club class, Adam spent most of his time in the dark control room used for video productions.

According to Mr. Novia, Adam would spend hours alone in the dark room. He always kept the door closed and the only light in the room came from the glow of the computer screens. Mr. Novia also said that Adam would have these episodes of withdrawal where he seemed to be in a trance.

These withdrawals would occur on a weekly basis, and during these times, Adam rarely responded to anyone. The school officials would have to call Nancy, and as soon as she got the phone call, she would immediately come to the school and take Adam home. During his sophomore year, school officials decided to go with the next stage of their plan, moving Adam from his private classroom to classrooms with the rest of the students. Someone escorted Adam when he walked in the hallways, helping him whenever he seemed to need it.

School officials planned on monitoring him wherever he was. They had also assigned him a school psychologist who would check on him and Nancy periodically. Teachers were notified of Adam's sensitivities. School staff also had Mrs. Lanza's phone number in case of an emergency. There was some small progress. Mr. Novia even noticed Adam began participating in after-school programs, like recording the basketball games. He had also replaced carrying his empty black suitcase with a laptop. But Adam still had a hard time socializing.

He had no interest in developing friendships or relationships with anyone. At one point, he had even asked, "What's the point of friendships?" Most people said the person Adam seemed to be the most comfortable with was his mother. But what they did not realize is that Adam and Nancy's relationship was volatile. Nancy felt like she was constantly walking on eggshells. Rather than deal with Adam and his diagnosis and try to confront this issue, she did whatever she could to prevent him from becoming explosive.

Her concern was to get through the day without any eruptions. Peter Lanza would later say that Nancy was afraid to talk to Adam, like asking him what he wanted to do in the future or encouraging him to go out. She avoided all of that because she was afraid she would upset him. While there was some progress at school, Adam's behavior worsened at home. His tantrums got worse, and his behavior became even stranger when he started muttering to himself and creating more odd and disturbing drawings.

In addition, Adam's interest in video games and weapons also grew. Adam was becoming more and more interested in target shooting with his mom, and Nancy enjoyed it. She thought it was a bonding activity for her and her son. She had also bought Adam several weapons. Despite his alarming behavior, those guns would be the same guns Adam would later use in the Sandy Hook Massacre. Interestingly enough,

After the shooting, the police would find one of Adam's Christmas presents at their house. It was a check made out to Adam which read, "Buy a gun. Love, Mom." But Nancy could have never known that her son would go on to commit one of America's worst school shootings.

In fact, it's likely she didn't believe her son was capable of violent behavior at all. Nancy never confided in anyone that she felt her life was in danger, and she had no problem sleeping with the doors unlocked at night. But little did she know,

Adam's desire for violence was growing stronger. It would only get worse when he and Nancy got some disappointing news from his school. Mr. Novia, who had helped Adam throughout the years, was leaving the high school. The one person Nancy felt like she could depend on would no longer be there. She had no confidence in the other high school officials, and she even tried to persuade Mr. Novia to stay, but he couldn't.

Mr. Novia would later say, quote, "'There was just no pleasing Nancy. "'She wanted Adam watched 100% of the time.'"

Nancy's response to him leaving was to take Adam out of the school entirely for the second time. Afterward, she enrolled him in Western Connecticut State University, where he got his GED. It was here where university officials took his photo for the student ID, an image that was used on many

media sites following the massacre. The picture showed an awkward boy with brown, emotionless, bulging eyes. And you can tell when you look at it that something's not right. But Adam was not focused on studying at the university. While he was a college student, Adam created an online persona, someone who his mom didn't know about, but it would go on to influence Adam's future decisions. He created this online profile in 2009 when he was only 17 years old, and he called himself Canebread.

All of the confidence he was scared to show in front of people, he could display through this online identity. Forensic investigators noticed that Canebread had played about 5,000 matches of Combat Arms, an online multiplayer first-person shooter game. In that game, Adam, through his online disguise, had killed 83,000 people.

496 video game characters and he had scored over 22,000 direct headshots. The game's goal was simple: to kill the most enemy players. The team who reached the most kills in the shortest amount of time was the game's winner. Players could also choose their online character and pick out their outfits and weapons.

As Lyciak stated in his book, "In his alternative online universe, the skinny and frail teenager chose to create an imposing, bulky, muscle-bound soldier dressed in desert camouflage and also a light vest, goggles, and a black beret." Adam, also under the name of Canebread, had edited 12 Wikipedia entries about mass murderers. Those entries included profiles on the Salo Mall shooting, the Luby's Massacre, and the Dawson College shooting.

He also used the fake persona to spend hours online talking about guns. One of the gun forums Canebread visited the most was High Road, where he showed great interest in gun laws, weapons, and ammunition. In one thread, he had actually asked for someone to help him upgrade an M2 carbine rifle so the rifle could fire fully automatic. No one in those forums knew why Adam may be asking these types of questions. What's even more chilling is that Anders Breivik,

who killed 77 innocent people in Norway in 2011, had also made Wikipedia edits to the entries of mass murderers. Some may wonder if Adam knew this, because after the Sandy Hook shooting, when police were investigating the crime scenes, officers discovered that Adam looked up to Breivik as his role model. In addition, Adam also expressed a deep fascination online with school shootings, and particularly the Columbine High School Massacre, a crime which we covered in an earlier episode of Murder in America.

In January of 2011, Adam posted on an online forum dedicated to the Columbine shooting, stating, quote, I'm still waiting for a mass shooter who eschews 9mm pistols and instead buys an AK-47 pistol, 30 30-round magazines, and 1,000 holopoints, end quote.

Adam went by many names online, one of which being Smiggles. The user Smiggles was first noticed online when they posted on a forum dedicated to the controversial video game Super Columbine Massacre RPG, a game that allowed players to experience the Columbine shooting from the viewpoint of the shooters themselves as they murdered students. It's now known that Adam played the game frequently and that he also played a video game called School Shooter in which the user walks through a school and murders students from a first-person perspective.

It seems that Adam was fantasizing about committing a school shooting for a long time, and his online behavior reveals this. Adam was also an avid user of Tumblr, a social media service that allows users to curate their own collections of images and repost them on their custom page. On Tumblr, Adam went by the names Gay4TimK and Queer4KimVeer. These two accounts were named after two school shooters. Gay4TimK was referring to Tim Ketchmer, who killed 16 students in 2009 in Germany,

and Queer4KimVere was named after Kimvere Gill, who injured 19 students, killed one, and then killed himself in Canada in 2006. On the Gay4TimK account, Adam posted video and audio recordings of various school shooters, uploaded a compilation of school shooting monologues from various TV shows and movies, and expressed love and adoration for mass killers.

and on both accounts, he shared an extremely bloody and graphic photo collage that contained pictures of corpses taken after the Columbine massacre. But let's return to Adam's account which he named Smiggles for a moment. At one point, somebody on a Columbine online forum commented something about a mass killer named Robert, and responding to this other user's comment, Adam S. Smiggles then wrote, "For trivia's sake, I know of four other young mass shooters whose names were Robert,

End quote. And then he proceeded to list the four other Roberts whose crimes spanned from 1966 to 2002. It seemed as though Adam had been studying mass killers for a long time and possessed a wide range of knowledge about each killer and their respective crimes. As Smiggles, Adam also eerily posted the following statement. Serial killers are lame. Everyone knows that mass murderers are the cool kids. End quote.

Adam also posted some strange statements on his various internet accounts that came off as pedophilic to other users. He posted about his desire to eliminate the age of consent and other grotesque and sexualized thoughts about children. He posted that adult-child sexual relationships could possibly be beneficial to both parties.

He even stated that he enjoyed the Harry Potter book series because he enjoyed the idea of children being taken away from their families. After the massacre, investigators recovered on Adam's computer a screenplay which depicted a relationship between a 10-year-old boy and a 30-year-old man, a movie that illustrated a relationship between an adult male and a young male child.

and an essay that Adam had drafted which outlined his view that pedophilia should not be considered wrong or illegal. On a video of an ad which advocated for safe sex, in which a cartoon penis searches for a mate and is rejected until it dons a condom and is then welcomed by a group of cartoon vaginas, Adam commented, "In reality, the penis at the end would get a gun and go on a rampage. No, seriously."

It seems that Adam had been leaving a trail of red flags all across the internet for years, but no one was listening, and no one thought he was serious. But they were all very wrong. There are also a number of videos that surfaced online in the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting which showed Adam Lanza himself dancing in a movie theater arcade as he played the game Dance Dance Revolution. In the videos, Adam appears to actually be very good at the game.

and he's usually shown wearing baggy clothing with a hood over his head as he skips and floats across the squares beneath him, attempting to achieve a high score on the machine. It was revealed after the shooting that Adam was, for some reason, obsessed with the game and would visit the arcade for anywhere between 4 to 10 hours a weekend just to play the specific game. He wouldn't bring friends, he would just show up alone and dance for hours. The behavior was definitely odd for sure, but it wasn't concerning.

And while Adam showed a lot of warning signs leading up to the massacre, his mom's behavior started to change as well. In the months before, Nancy started traveling as much as she could and spent more and more time away from Adam, which is interesting because she had spent her entire life not wanting to let him out of her sight.

When friends would ask her why Adam wasn't with her on these vacations, she simply told them that he didn't want to leave home. But author Lisiak wrote about Nancy saying, quote, "Although Nancy had dedicated so much of her life and energy to helping her son, she sensed that her ability to keep a handle on the situation was slipping from her grasp."

Her child was well past the point of crisis, and whatever was going on inside of his head at this point was beyond her ability to comprehend. End quote. Nancy traveled all over the world in the months before the massacre. She went to London, New Orleans, the Big Apple. She also made many trips to Boston,

It may have been true that Adam did not want to travel with his mom, and that's why she took solo trips. But some wonder whether or not she unconsciously feared her son's actions. In the months before the massacre, Nancy had begun selling some of her prized possessions. She had even stopped participating in community events, which was out of character. Her concern over her son had also begun to affect her physical health.

Nancy started having debilitating migraines, throbbing joint pain, and insomnia. And shortly before December 14th, 2012, Nancy found out she had multiple sclerosis, an incurable autoimmune disease. Several days before the massacre, Nancy had taken a spa vacation at the Omni Mount Washington Resort, a luxury resort located in the New Hampshire mountains.

Nancy paid $450 that included a manicure, a 50-minute body treatment, and a 50-minute massage. A few days later, she would return back home to her son. The two barely even spoke to each other at this point. Adam spent all of his time in his room, only coming down to get food and drinks.

When he did talk to his mom, he only communicated through email. Nancy didn't know this, but while she was on vacation, he had been meticulously planning the massacre at Sandy Hook.

The date was planned for December 14th, 2012. He started his morning by getting dressed, making sure to grab earplugs so the gunfire wouldn't hurt his ears. Then he grabbed all of his weapons he planned to use in the attack. But before leaving, Adam had to kill the first victim of the massacre, his mother. While Nancy slept in her bed, Adam crept into her bedroom and walked beside her bed while his mother lay sleeping on her back

Adam put the rifle right up to her head and pulled the trigger four times. When he was finished, half of Nancy's face was gone and the massacre had just begun and no one in Newtown, Connecticut even knew about it.

Around the time that Adam Lanza was murdering his own mother, Mrs. Victoria Soto walked into Sandy Hook's library to pick out a book for her class that day. If you can recall, she was Jesse Lewis's teacher, the six-year-old who brought her an ornament at the beginning of our story. Mrs. Soto was excited for the day ahead. As a part of their Friday festivities, she was going to read a book to the class while they worked on their gingerbread houses with their parents. The librarian, Mrs. Yvonne Ketch, recalled her saying, I need to find the perfect book.

Comments like this were common for the 27-year-old teacher. She loved her students and was always coming up with ways to make school more enjoyable for her class. Victoria Soto had started working at Sandy Hook just two years before the massacre. She started out with a part-time position, but Dawn, the principal, absolutely loved her

and ended up hiring her as one of their first grade teachers. Victoria was known by her loved ones as a homebody who loved to read. In fact, the night before the massacre, Victoria spent her night in Danbury at a Scholastic book fair. Her Facebook read, "In my free time, I love spending time with my black lab, Roxy. I love spending time with my brother, sisters, and cousins. I love spending time reading books on the beach soaking up the sun." Hence the late afternoon trip to the book fair. "I also love flamingos and the New York Yankees." Like she mentioned in her Facebook post,

Victoria was very close with her family. When she was first hired at Sandy Hook, her brother Carlos spent hours helping her set up zoo decorations all over her first grade classroom. Her other sibling is probably someone you recognize from this tragedy. After the massacre, there were lots of media outlets and news stations taking pictures of the victims' families, and one picture in particular was plastered everywhere. It's a photo of a woman crying, holding a black and red phone in one hand and clutching her heart in the other.

It's one of the many pictures that demonstrate the immense heartbreak from that day, and that picture is of Victoria Soto's sister. Victoria was excited about her last day before break, a day that was supposed to be filled with crafts, reading, holiday music, and fun, but none of that would happen. As she stepped out of the library that morning, holding a book called What Do You Do With a Tale Like This?, Mrs. Soto had no idea of the danger slowly approaching their school.

While Mrs. Soto was checking out her book, Mrs. Lauren Rousseau was sitting in her classroom waiting for the school day to start. Mrs. Rousseau had been subbing for another first grade teacher on maternity leave and she had worked really hard to get the position. She had been substituting at various schools before Principal Dawn had given her the building sub position.

which guaranteed her a job once her substitute position was over. And Lauren Rousseau and Principal Dawn had actually known each other for a while. Back in 1994, Dawn's husband was Lauren's first grade teacher, so she felt comfortable working at Sandy Hook, and she was excited that they offered her a long-term position. A little bit about Lauren was that she was a self-proclaimed sci-fi fanatic.

At the time of the shooting, she had been counting down the days that she could finally see the film The Hobbit on the big screen. After seeing the movie in the theater, Lauren and her boyfriend planned to attend a birthday party. She had even baked and decorated themed cupcakes to bring with her. But sadly, Lauren Russo would never get to see The Hobbit and she would never make it to the party.

Her father would later say, "She was 30 years old and with so much to look forward to in life." Ms. Rousseau had only been working at Sandy Hook for several weeks before that fateful day. Another first grade teacher was Mrs. Rachel DeVino, whose life was starting to fall into place.

She, like Lauren, had just started working at Sandy Hook Elementary. She was a behavioral therapist who worked with students who have autism. She had only been working at the school for a little more than a single week. The 29-year-old teacher didn't know this, but days before the shooting, her boyfriend Anthony had asked Rachel's parents for her hand in marriage. She was also just about to finish her doctorate degree at the University of St. Joseph of Hartford's Institute for Autism and Behavioral Studies.

Dr. John Molteni, one of her professors, had written that Rachel was, "A paraprofessional working with a student with special needs, something she had dedicated her life to doing. She had just completed her coursework to sit down for her certification exam on Wednesday." But Rachel would never get to experience any of these monumental celebrations. Lastly, Mrs. Anne Marie Murphy was a teacher's aide who worked with students who had special disabilities.

Her family described her as being happy, artistic, and fun-loving. They said she was a witty and hardworking mother, wife, and daughter. Anne left behind four children and her husband, Michael. She came from a large Irish Catholic family, the sixth of seven children. That Friday, Anne had prepared gifts for each of the children in her classroom. She was probably hoping to distribute them as the children were working on their gingerbread houses in Mrs. Soto's class. However, she would never be able to give the students her presents.

After Adam Lanza entered the school that morning and killed Principal Don Hoshbrung and the school psychologist Mary Shirlatch, everyone in the school knew that something was terribly wrong. They had heard it over the intercom system and they knew this was not a drill. Ms. Caitlin Roig was holding her morning meeting

with her first grade students when she heard the gunshots. At the time, she was newly engaged and was making plans for her upcoming wedding. In her memoir, she said that as soon as she heard the gunshots, the hairs on her arm stood up. She knew immediately that there was an active shooter and that she and her first graders were in danger. Even

Even more concerning, her classroom was one of the first classrooms in the building and her children were beginning to panic. They could hear everything going on outside. Ms. Roig thought to herself that she may not be able to protect them from the sounds, but she had to do whatever she could to physically protect them.

The first grade teacher looked at her classroom door, which still had blue construction paper taped on the window from their lockdown drill months earlier. She silently thanked God that she left it up. The next thing she did was turn off the lights to the classroom. After this, she was supposed to go lock the door, but her keys were across the room on her desk.

She had no time to get them. She also knew that a locked door was no match against a magazine of bullets. So she looked around, trying to figure out what to do. She couldn't fit the children out of the outside window. It wasn't big enough for them to fit through. Also, she didn't know if there were shooters outside of the building either.

The only place she could think of was the tiny bathroom that had only a toilet and a toilet paper dispenser. Its dimensions were maybe three feet by four feet. There was so little space in that small room that the sink was built on the outside. Ms. Roig herself had never even gone in the room because of its small size. She then asked herself,

"How in God's name will I get 16 of us in there?" But then she thought, "It's our only chance. The impossible will have to become possible." It was here when Ms. Roig ordered her students into the bathroom as Adam Lanza walked down the hall towards the first grade class.

Her students didn't understand why they were being forced into the bathroom. They too didn't think they could all fit, but Ms. Roig kept repeating herself. "Bathroom. Now," she told them. The first graders knew their teacher was serious, so they followed her instruction. She pushed the 15 students into the bathroom as fast as she could, but she couldn't get the door closed.

Ms. Roig wanted to panic, knowing the gunmen could walk in at any moment, but she knew if she panicked, the rest of her students would as well. So she did her best to remain calm while she rearranged the first graders, and somehow she managed to close the bathroom door. They were all cramped, uncomfortable, and confused as to why they were packed inside. Ms. Roig had to calmly whisper that there were bad guys in the school and that everything was going to be okay, but they had to wait there

until the good guys came to save them. It's unclear whether or not Adam Lanza walked into Mrs. Roig's classroom that morning. It's possible that he saw the construction paper in the dark room and decided to move on to the next class. It's also possible that he opened the door, peeked inside, and didn't see any students, so he went to the next door instead. But either way, the children in that classroom would all survive the massacre, even though their classroom was the first door Adam Lanza would pass in the hallway. In the room next to this classroom was Mrs. Soto's first grade class.

Upon hearing the gunshots, a student had asked, Is someone shooting? It sounds like someone is shooting a gun. Another student said, It sounds like the army. Mrs. Soto wanted the kids as far away from danger as possible, and that meant being away from the door. She asked them to go to the far wall of the class as she went to close the door. Adam Lanza, though, was now walking the first grade hallway. But instead of stopping at Mrs. Soto's classroom, the gunman walked right past it,

and approached Mrs. Rousseau's room, the exact room where his first grade class was, years earlier. Unfortunately, when Mrs. Rousseau heard the gunshots earlier, she knew she needed to lock the door, but she couldn't. You see, she was the long-term substitute teacher, but since she didn't have a full-time position at the school, the school wasn't allowed to give her a set of her own keys. It was just school policy. Mrs. Rousseau knew she and her students were in trouble, but without a key, all she could do was hide them in a corner near the bathroom and

pray that the gunman wouldn't enter their room, but he would. Mrs. Rousseau was still trying to gather the children and collect them into the far corner of the room when Adam opened her classroom door. Right when she looked in his direction, Adam shot her in the face multiple times. Then, Adam turned his gun on Mrs. Rachel Marie DeVino, the special education teacher whose boyfriend had just asked her parents for her hand in marriage. Now, trigger warning, we're about to discuss the murder of children, so turn this off if you don't want to hear this part.

After killing the two teachers, Adam Lanza emptied his clip into the classroom of first graders who were hiding in the corner of the room. In doing so, he would kill 15 students. Their names were Catherine Hubbard, Anna Marquez Green, James Mattioli, Grace McDonald, Josephine Gay, Noah Posner, Jack Pitino, Chase Kowalski, Madeline Sue, Resika Rekos, Daniel Barden, Charlotte Bacon, Benjamin Wheeler, Emily Parker, and Carolyn Previti. One young girl who hid behind the bathroom door in the classroom survived.

and unfortunately, she was forced to watch as her teachers and classmates were massacred in front of her eyes. Adam had killed 17 women and children in that room, all in about 40 seconds or less. Then afterwards, he walked out of the classroom and closed the door behind him.

According to her memoir, they tell her, quote,

Miss Roig, I don't want to die today. Another says, I just want my mom. Or, I don't want to die before Christmas, says the student who's been talking about the holidays for months. Miss Roig did what she could to help them stay calm. She told them that they would all be okay. But when the

painful moans continued, she wasn't sure if what she was telling them was true. She writes, quote, "'Then, because I believe death is imminent and I want to do whatever I can to make them feel safe, I tell them how much they have meant to me. I need you to know that I love you all very much,' I say."

There were many classrooms inside of Sandy Hook that were experiencing these same fears. The second grade students in Ms. Carol Wexler's class had just finished their yoga and jumping jacks when the gunshots rang out. The students thought that the sounds came from pots and pans clinging

together. But Ms. Wexler knew the sound was something else. She had her students, like several of the other teachers, go into a corner near the coat hooks. She quickly closed the door, but she wasn't able to lock it. Ms. Wexler turned the lights off in the classroom and gathered with the children.

She could tell that they were starting to become scared, so she did what she could to make them feel comfortable. There, piled together in the corner of the room, they quietly sang holiday songs like "Jingle Bells" and "Silent Night." The class didn't stop singing when they heard the gunshots or screaming. Meanwhile, the children reached for their backpacks

packs, dolls, worn blankets, anything that could give them some kind of comfort. Mrs. Mary Rose Christopik, the music teacher, had pushed play and was having her 9-year-olds and 10-year-olds watch the Nutcracker when she heard the gunshots. Then, when the screams and cries came through the intercom, she led her students single file into a storage closet located in the back of the room. "Everything is going to be okay," she told them. The closet was a storage room for the musical instruments.

Mrs. Kristopik asked the students to hold onto the instruments so the kids could keep their hands occupied. To keep them quiet, she provided them all with lollipops. One nine-year-old student named Nicholas thought that the lollipop might be the last snack I'm ever going to have. Mrs. Janet Vollmer had 18 students in her kindergarten class. They hid in a small place behind a pair of bookcases and a wall. When the noise started, Mrs. Vollmer blamed the custodian. She told the kids, "He's probably just on the roof getting a soccer ball."

Before joining the children, Mrs. Vollmer locked the classroom door and covered the windows, and then she began reading the children a story. One child had asked her why they were sitting in the same place for so long, and she told them that they would be in that place for a little while longer because they wanted to be safe. The art teacher, Ms. Leslie Gunn, locked herself and her 23 students in a storage room in the class. She told them, quote, something is wrong and we are going to have to stay here, end quote.

They were supposed to have started working on a clay project, making sculptures, when the shooting began. At first, Mrs. Gunn, who had taught at the school for 17 years, thought that there was work being done on the roof. "It got really loud. It was too loud. Something was bad," she said. In the storage room, some of the students started to cry, but Ms. Gunn reassured them, "I love you. You were all so brave. Hold onto each other's hands and don't let go." Mrs. Sherry Burton,

a teacher's assistant, sat on the floor with her 16 students in a second grade classroom. They were located on the far side of the building. When she went to lock her door, she heard the shots, but the door wouldn't lock. Luckily, as she was attempting to lock it, she saw the custodian, Mr. Rick Thorne. He was running through the hallways and told her to get back in the classroom.

Mr. Thorne ran off and returned with the master key to lock the door. Mrs. Burton kept calling 911, and when she finally got through, she kept telling the dispatch, "When is someone coming?" To her and many others in the school, the shooting felt like an eternity.

The custodian, who ran through the hallways that morning locking the doors, was one of the heroes that day at Sandy Hook. He didn't give any thought about protecting himself. As soon as he realized what was happening, Mr. Thorne called 911. He was on the phone for several minutes before the operator told him to take cover. John, 911, what's the location of your emergency?

- Baby Hook Elementary School, 12 Vickerson Drive. - Okay, I've got that. What's going on down there? - I believe they're shooting at the front glass. Something's going on. - All right, I want you to stay on the line with me. Where are you in the school? - Down the corridor. - All right, I want you to take cover. Jen?

Get the sergeant. All right, get everybody you can going down there. Red? Yes. All right, what do you hear now? Now it's silent. Okay. All right, now when you say the school is in lockdown? All schools are locked. It's during classrooms. Okay. So at this time, you're defending in place. Excuse me?

Listening to that 911 call,

you can tell that Mr. Thorne was in a panic, but he ignored his fears and the operator's advice to take cover. Instead, he ran all throughout the school trying to make sure the classroom doors were locked. At one point, teachers even heard Rick try to persuade Adam Lanza to leave the school and put down his gun.

a teacher who had been hiding in the math lab's closet heard Rick say, "Put the gun down!" Mr. Chris Manfredonia, the athletic director at the high school, was walking toward the elementary school's main entrance to make gingerbread houses with his six-year-old daughter that morning, and his daughter ended up surviving the massacre.

The former teacher noticed as he approached the school that the front door's glass was shattered and he smelled sulfur. He recognized that smell. It was the smell of gunfire. The first thing that came to mind was to make sure his daughter was okay. So he sprinted to the side of the school where he knew his daughter's classroom was located.

By this time, officers William Chapman and Scott Smith had pulled up to the front of the school. It was now around 9:38 a.m. The two officers got out of their police car and had their weapons drawn. They had no idea what to expect. Officer William Chapman was at the Newtown Police Station when the first reports from the 911 calls came in. The school was only a little more than two miles away, so he immediately got into his car with another officer and drove to Sandy Hook. They made it to the school in under three minutes, and when they arrived, they could hear the gunfire.

Officer Chapman had told a New York Times reporter, quote, End quote.

But Adam Lanza wasn't on the outside of the school. After killing the 17 people in his old first grade classroom, he shut the door behind him and then walked back to Ms. Soto's class. He then reloaded his gun and opened the door to find the first graders crowded up against the back wall.

They were terrified after hearing what had happened in the room across from them. There was a brief pause after Adam opened the door. Then, before Ms. Soto could even react, Adam shot her. Trigger warning: We are about to discuss the murder of children again, so listener discretion is advised. After Ms. Soto was shot and killed, the children in the room began to scream and cry. They had just watched as a strange man dressed in black shot their beloved teacher.

In the corner of the room, a group of children had gathered near the chalkboard. Their names were Allison Wyatt, Avielle Richman, and Olivia Engle. The three held hands as Adam turned his gun on them. A teacher's aide named Anne Murphy was also in the room. When Adam entered the classroom, Anne tried to shield her student Dylan Hogley, a boy who had autism. But unfortunately, both Dylan and Anne would end up passing away.

Newtown police would later tell Anne's family that she had died a hero that day, as they found her body slumped over the small child. Although Dylan did not make it either, his family released a statement saying, quote, Now, after shooting Anne and Dylan...

Adam attempted to shoot at other children in the classroom, but luckily, his gun jammed. Jesse Lewis, the six-year-old who bought Miss Soto a Christmas ornament at the beginning of our story, was another hero in this case. Upon seeing the gunman's rifle jam, Jesse yelled to his classmates, "'Run!'

Four students took Jesse's advice and made a run for it out of the classroom. Jesse, however, never made it out. Adam shot him in the head, killing him instantly. Of the 20 children who died that day, Jesse was the only child to be shot in the head. One other child was shot in the neck.

But his actions that day went on to save a number of his classmates, making him one of the many heroes during this tragedy. Jesse Lewis was the final victim of Sandy Hook. After shooting Jesse, Adam could hear the muffled sounds of sirens through the earplugs he was wearing.

He could also see the flashing blue and red lights. He may have thought there was no way out. In the classroom with him were the bodies of five innocent children and two educators. Next door, there were 17 dead bodies and two more bodies near the school's entrance. The Bushmaster rifle he was carrying fell to the floor. Then Adam sat down. It was 9:40 a.m., less than five minutes after he entered the school. It was here when Adam Lanza took his Glock and turned the gun on himself.

That bullet to the head may have stopped Adam from killing many others, but the damage he had already caused was immense and widespread. He started the killing spree by shooting the glass of the doors at the front entrance to get into the school, and within five minutes, he had shattered the lives of 26 individuals and their loved ones who would go on to face a lifetime of heartbreak. The shooting spree caused a lot of chaos in Newtown, Connecticut. By this time, word had spread fast about the gunman at Sandy Hook.

Police had heard the blast from Adam's suicide, but they weren't sure whether or not he had acted alone, or that maybe the shooter was now on the outside of the school. At 9:41 a.m., officers Chapman and Smith entered Sandy Hook Elementary. They silenced the radio so the shooter, who they didn't know was already dead, wouldn't hear them. The first scene they came upon were the lifeless bodies of Principal Dawn and the school psychologist

Mary Shirlatch. Officer Pena had entered the building with a few other officers through a side door. He mentioned, quote, "You saw them lifeless, laying down, and for a split second,

Your mind says that this could be a mock crime scene, this could be fake, but in the next split second, you're saying, there's no way this is real. Officer Chapman walked into the classroom where he found Adam's dead body on the floor. He then searched the classroom looking for any signs of life. There, he found that one of the young children still had a faint pulse.

It was Olivia Engle, who had been holding her friend's hands next to the chalkboard. The officer quickly picked her up and carried her, cradling her weak body in his arms. He ran out of the school shouting for an ambulance. Officer Chapman became overwhelmed with what was happening, and once outside, he fell to his knees.

with Olivia still in his arms. "You're safe now. Your parents love you," Officer Chapman told her. Olivia would later die at the hospital. Officer Pena was the one who entered Mrs. Rousseau's classroom where 17 bodies lay crowded in the corner of the room. Author Lyciak described the scene Officer Pena had found. They were all found wrapped together, clutching each other for comfort during their final moments. Each had suffered multiple gunshot wounds. The scene was too horrific to be from this earth.

There, Officer Pena had also found a girl covered in blood standing in shock. Luckily, she was unharmed. She was the one that was hiding in the bathroom while all of her classmates were shot to death, and her name was never released to the press. Other officers that arrived on scene were Sergeant William Cairo and Trooper Patrick Dragon. They had been on their way to a narcotics task force when they heard the news. They too had entered Mrs. Rousseau's room after the shooting.

Cairo told the Hartford Courant that he was initially unable to comprehend what I was looking at. Cairo said he had trouble counting the number of bodies because he could just not process or understand that so many young children had been murdered. He would try to count, he said, but my mind would not count beyond the low teens, and I kept getting confused. Sergeant Cairo was also the one who helped retrieve Mrs. Hammond, the woman who was injured near the conference room. Some teachers were so terrified that they didn't

even open their doors when the officers came through announcing that they were safe. The teachers were suspicious that the first responders were really the gunmen trying to lure them out. One of those teachers was Mrs. Roig, who was still crammed in the bathroom with her 15 students.

An officer knocked on her door, stating that they were the police, but Mrs. Roig didn't believe him. Quote, if you really are the police, I need your badge, she tells them. The officer slipped his badge under the door of the bathroom, but Ms. Roig still wasn't buying it. I don't believe you. If you are the police and you're here to help us, then you should have a key to this door or you should be able to get it, she told him. A few minutes passed before the officer returned with a ring full of keys. When the bathroom door opened,

and Ms. Roig saw the SWAT team, she felt an indescribable relief. "The good guys are here," she wrote in her memoir. "I am flooded with feelings of relief and gratitude. They look as surprised to see all of us as we are to see them. I think they were expecting to see one child, not the teacher and her entire class."

I've never been so happy to see anyone in my life." As police led the children out of their school, they made sure to tell them to keep their eyes closed so they wouldn't see any of the grisly scenes. They also recommended that each child place their hands on the shoulder of the person in front of them to make it easy for them to get out of the school since the kids were closing their eyes. Some officers had blocked the doorways to the two bloodied classrooms to prevent any children from peeking inside. Others formed a human wall or curtain around the dead bodies of Principal Hawksbrum and Mrs. Shurlash.

Officers from all the agencies were at the scene. Aside from the Newtown police, the FBI, the ATF, and the US Marshal Service had all sent their own officers. They had set up a triage at the nearby fire station, which became a stopping point for everyone. Many EMS workers were there waiting to help injured survivors, not realizing that there weren't very many that were injured. Parents were there waiting for their children to come out.

School officials were there, providing comfort to others and seeking comfort too. Community leaders were there, trying to provide guidance and sympathy. Back at the school, officers were still going through the scene, and they had their concerns too. One of the many things that they were worried about was that there might be another shooter, so officers had panned out, searching the school for anyone suspicious. Mr. Manfredonia, the teacher who came to the school to make gingerbread houses,

was still outside trying to find his daughter's classroom to make sure she was safe. Officers found him and handcuffed him, believing he was one of the organizers of the massacre. They escorted him to the front of the school to the police cars, and as they walked, parents eyed Mr. Manfredonia suspiciously. It also didn't help that he had been dressed in camouflage pants and a dark jacket, but he kept telling the police he had no involvement in the massacre. At one point, they even thought Mr. Thorne, the custodian, was a perpetrator too. He had to show the police officers his school ID to prove that he wasn't.

Once officers were sure that there were no other threats at the elementary school, they taped off Adam Lanza's black Honda Civic, which was parked 40 feet away from the school's entrance. The car provided the shooter's address, 36 Yogananda Street. The ID in the gunman's pockets also provided them with information about their shooter.

The only problem was that Adam wasn't carrying his own ID on the day of the shooting. He was carrying his older brother's. In the beginning of the investigation, authorities assumed that Ryan was their shooter. The damage to Adam's face may have made him unrecognizable, making it easy for officers to mistake him for his brother.

officers were dispatched to the Lanza home. Upon arriving, however, no one answered the door, so they left. A reporter from the Stanford Advocate named Maggie Gordon had been sent to the home as well. She watched in her car as the officers drove away from the home. A few minutes later, she saw a blue Mini Cooper pull into the driveway.

She didn't know it at the time, but it was Peter Lanza, Adam's father. Peter saw Maggie watching the house, so he asked her what she was doing there, to which Maggie responded, quote, I've been told that someone at this address was connected to the shootings in Newtown, end quote.

Maddy said his "expression twisted from patient to surprise to horror." It was obvious that this moment, shortly after 1:30 p.m. on Friday, was the first time he had considered his family to have been involved. He quickly declined to comment, rolled up the window, parked on the right side of the two-car garage, and closed the door.

End quote. After going inside of the home, Peter made the gruesome discovery of his ex-wife, Nancy. Maggie Gordon, who was still sitting outside of the home, said that she saw Peter sit down at a table near the front of the house. A phone was held to his left ear and his palm was on his right cheek. It was clear that Peter was calling the police

It was around this time when Ryan Lanza, Adam's older brother, was learning about the shooting at Sandy Hook. Ryan was at his Ernst & Young desk watching the breaking news when he discovered police were blaming him for the murder of 26, including 20 children.

CNN was the outlet who posted this false information, and before he knew it, they were also using Ryan's social media pictures to run with the story. At first, the news had caught Ryan's attention because he was a former Sandy Hook Elementary School student too, and Newtown was, after all, his hometown. However, he had no longer been living with his mom and Adam. He hadn't been for a while. At the time of the shooting, Ryan worked at Ernst & Young in New York City, and once the news got out that he was the shooter, Ryan was flooded with phone calls, social media posts,

emails and Facebook notifications of people who were accusing him of this horrible crime. He would later make a Facebook post saying, "Fuck you, CNN. It wasn't me." But the threats continued to come. After hearing the news, Ryan immediately left work early. About half an hour later, he received a text from a coworker notifying him that the New York police had raided his office at Ernst & Young. Then, on the trip home, he got another text. That text alerted him that it was his brother who was the killer, and that his mom may be dead too. By that time, the police had recognized their error.

but the news media had not caught up yet and they were still disseminating the wrong information. - Not much longer after that, Ryan found himself in a New Jersey police station where police officers had a lot of questions. They were no longer suspecting him, but they did wanna know everything they could about his 20-year-old brother. FBI agents were also continuously going in and out of Ryan's apartment, collecting all of his phone and computer records.

As police were interrogating Ryan, whom they released later that evening, the Connecticut State Police Tactical Team had descended upon the Lanza home. A total of 17 law enforcement vehicles had blocked off the street. Still concerned that there may be other shooters, officers had asked the residents on the street to leave their homes.

Once they entered the house, rifles drawn, they immediately noticed that the house was in immaculate order. The TV was turned off. The remotes were neatly stacked on the end table. There were no dirty dishes in the sink. The basement looked like a military dugout. It was very dark in there, by choice.

Adam had darkened the windows to keep the sunlight from shining through. The sun may have overloaded Adam's sensory disorder. Military posters covered the walls. Adam also had video games stacked in neat rows, not very far from the basement's large television. Upstairs, they found two bedrooms that belonged to Adam. It was obvious that he knew what he was doing when he stormed the school and killed the children.

Officers also observed that his computer's hard drives were destroyed, the internal disks were scratched, and like the basement windows, the bedroom windows had trash bags duct taped over them, making it to where no sunlight could come through. A gruesome sight awaited the officers in the master bedroom. Upon entering, they found the remains of a woman, dressed in her pajamas, lying on her back in the bed. There were four gunshot wounds that could be seen on Mrs. Lanza's nearly decapitated head.

The bullet holes showed that the rifle had been placed directly upon her forehead. Then at the foot of the bed, officers found a Savage Mark 22 caliber rifle. There were three rounds in the rifle with one spent cartridge. Officers also found other clues in the home, aside from the destroyed hard drives.

One item was a long list of the top 500 mass murderers in world history, and the murderers were organized onto a 7-foot long and 4-foot wide spreadsheet. Adam had ranked the killers according to who had killed the most to who had killed the least. The list also included the weapons the killers used.

Forensic investigators would later say that it looked like it took Adam years to create that spreadsheet. Author Lyciak wrote, "Investigators discovered newspaper clippings and printed out articles showing that the killer had created a virtual who's who of mass murder infamy." The evidence also showed that Adam had his favorite killers. They included James Holmes, the killer who dressed as Batman's Joker,

and created an open target range in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. He had killed 12 people and wounded 58. There was also Charles Roberts, whose case we recently covered. He was the man who murdered five Amish girls and injured five others in an Amish schoolhouse in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania, on October 2nd, 2006. There was also Steven P. Kazmierczyk, who shot 21 people on the Northern Illinois University campus on Valentine's Day in 2001. But the killer who influenced Adam the most was Anders Breivik,

a Norwegian domestic terrorist who had gone on a murder spree in July 2011. Breivik had started his murder spree by detonating a van bomb in Oslo, Norway. Then he killed 69 participants of a Workers' Youth League summer camp on Utøya, an island. Adam seemed to have looked up to Breivik as a role model and used some of his techniques. Both had used the same video games to prepare. Both had been impressed with mass murders. Investigators think Adam may have been able to relate to Breivik,

who viewed himself as a loner. Investigators also found a stockpile of weapons in the home. The stockpile included an Enfield bolt-action rifle, which was used during World War II. There was another rifle, a BB gun, a starter pistol, and 1,600 rounds of ammunition. The ammunition could be found throughout the house, in planters' peanut cans and some Nike shoeboxes. There were also bladed weapons,

Panther brand brown-handled folding knife with a 3.75-inch blade, a 6-foot, 10-inch wood-handled two-sided pole with a blade on one side and a spear on the other. Adam also owned three types of samurai swords. The only difference between the three was the length of the blades, 28 inches, 21 inches, and 13 inches. While investigators were picking apart the Lanza home, the Sandy Hook children and staff were meeting at the local fire station to reunite with their families.

As they arrived, their family members frantically searched through the crowd of faces, hoping to see their child. When they would finally spot them, a huge sense of relief rushed over, knowing that their baby wasn't among the victims. As for the other family members, they searched the crowd of children, just to find out that their child wasn't among them. Maybe they're still on their way over, they thought. But after each passing minute, the fire station began to slowly empty.

As families took their children home, the only people left in the fire station were the family members of the two first grade classrooms. The parents all stood around, dreading the news that they had feared all along. Once the last child had left, Newtown officials stood in front of the 26 families and they asked them to walk to the back of the fire station.

Everyone was fearful about the news they were about to receive, but some family members held on to hope that maybe their child was in the hospital. Governor Dan Malloy was there, and once everyone had gathered in the room, he told them the horrifying news. The two classrooms that had been targeted

were Ms. Rousseau's and Ms. Soto's. Two students from those classes had been taken to the hospital, but they eventually died. And then, in a statement that would change their lives forever, the governor told the parents that no other child made it out of the classroom alive. If you were in that room, it meant that your child had passed.

The room burst into hysterics knowing that they would never get to hold their babies again. One parent even asked, "So what you're telling us is that they're all dead?" The response was yes. This afternoon I spoke with Governor Malloy and FBI Director Mueller. I offered Governor Malloy my condolences on behalf of the nation and made it clear he will have every single resource that he needs to investigate this heinous crime.

care for the victims, counsel their families. We've endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years. And each time I learn the news, I react not as a president, but as anybody else would, as a parent. And that was especially true today. I know there's not a parent in America who doesn't feel the same overwhelming grief that I do. The majority of those who died today were children.

beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. They had their entire lives ahead of them: birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own. Among the fallen were also teachers, men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children fulfill their dreams. So our hearts are broken today for the parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers of these little children, and for the families of the adults who were lost.

Our hearts are broken for the parents of the survivors as well. For as blessed as they are to have their children home tonight, they know that their children's innocence has been torn away from them too early. And there are no words that will ease their pain. As a country, we have been through this too many times. Whether it's an elementary school in Newton, or a shopping mall in Oregon, or a temple in Wisconsin, or a movie theater in Aurora, or a street corner in Chicago, these neighborhoods are our neighborhoods.

And these children are our children. And we're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics. This evening, Michelle and I will do what I know every parent in America will do, which is hug our children a little tighter. And we'll tell them that we love them. And we'll remind each other how deeply we love one another. But there are families in Connecticut who cannot do that tonight. And they need all of us right now.

In the hard days to come, that community needs us to be at our best as Americans, and I will do everything in my power as President to help. Because while nothing can fill the space of a lost child or loved one, all of us can extend a hand to those in need, to remind them that we are there for them, that we are praying for them, that the love they felt for those they lost endures not just in their memories, but also in ours.

May God bless the memory of the victims, and in the words of Sprixer, heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.

Months after the shooting, as Newtown, Connecticut was trying to piece itself back together, they decided to tear down Sandy Hook Elementary and build a new school in its place. The old building was a horrible reminder of the tragedy that took place there back in 2012. The new school had a completely different design, was a lot more colorful, and has a plethora of security measures. It was built specifically to ease children's anxieties. In the area where Mrs. Rousseau and Soto's classrooms once stood,

There's a memorial garden. The Lanza household was also torn down. People in the community couldn't bear to drive by it every day, and one resident was quoted as saying, "Not only is the property a constant reminder of the evil that resided there, those of us who walk, run, drive, ride, or otherwise must pass by it multiple times a day are having a hard time moving on."

The effects that the Sandy Hook Massacre had on our country were profound, and although the world seemed to move along after the tragedy, some people just never could. Yes, we have to now briefly discuss Alex Jones. Alex Jones is the host of InfoWars, an American far-right "news service" that dives deep into conspiracy theories. And it's a huge company with millions of viewers and listeners that tune in every day and every week.

Immediately after Sandy Hook, however, Alex Jones made up his mind that there was some sort of conspiracy behind the shooting and began telling his followers that he believed that there were most likely no children or teachers that had really died in the shooting. That all the parents of Sandy Hook victims who were interviewed by the media were played by "crisis actors" and had not actually lost their children. And that the entire thing was probably set up by the government in order to restrict gun owners' rights, amongst other things.

And when Alex stated these statements, his followers listened and latched onto them. This led to people who believed the conspiracy theory to engage in some truly deplorable and despicable behavior. One man stole a memorial sign dedicated to two young victims from a playground.

and then called the parents of one of the girls, admitted that he had stolen the sign, and stated that he believed the shooting was a hoax and that their daughter didn't really die. Other parents have been slandered online, received death threats, and have been targeted by conspiracy theorists who believe they were paid off by the government to fake cry over the deaths of their fake children.

Another man at one point approached the sister of Victoria Soto, one of the teachers who was shot and killed, shoved a picture of Victoria in her sister's face, and angrily screamed at her that he believed that not only the shooting had never taken place, but that he believed that Victoria Soto had never even existed in the first place. Eventually, the parents of Sandy Hook sued Alex Jones and Infowars for defamation, and after years, they finally won the case by default and are now in the process of receiving payouts for damages brought on.

by Alex Jones' toxic lies about the shooting. In a deposition that was released to the media, Alex Jones himself actually admitted that he now knows that people did indeed die that day in Sandy Hook and admitted that he had been wrong about a number of things, but he still refused to admit that he truly believes the official story. This harassment, coupled with the grief that parents felt over losing their children, had lasting effects on the parents.

And sadly, in 2019, over six years after the massacre, one dad who lost his daughter in the shooting, a man named Jeremy Richman, took his own life. The grief and trauma was just too much for him. This goes to show that these events have lasting and permanent effects on people. To us, it's just another horrible story. But to many, their lives will never be the same. America was forever changed that day on December 14th, 2012. Every new

news outlet in the country was covering the story. And everyone had the same question: Why? Why would someone take the lives of innocent children at an elementary school? And just like with every mass shooting, we will never really get those answers. At the end of the day, the world can be an evil place, and there are people out there that are capable of the

Unthinkable. Authorities have never been able to find a motive behind the shooting. Adam Lanza didn't leave a suicide note and he never proclaimed his motivations to the world. For years, the families of the Sandy Hook victims have tried to look for answers.

And I'm sure every time they hear of a new school shooting, their wounds are reopened. Many had hoped that after Sandy Hook, gun violence would go down, but it hasn't. In fact, it's only gotten worse. Many of the Sandy Hook families realized after the massacre that legislation around gun control will probably never change. They tried.

protests were held all around the nation begging our legislators to protect our children from gun violence. But nothing ever changed. This was eye-opening for America. If legislation wouldn't change for our children, then it probably

never will. So the families decided to take another approach by creating the Sandy Hook Promise, which educates people on the warning signs of future mass shooters. Their website states that their mission is to end school shootings and create a culture change that prevents violence and other harmful acts that hurt children. Sandy Hook Promise also makes videos revealing the truth around school shootings.

I want to play a couple of those for you because they are incredibly moving. Now, some of them don't have audio so I will just read over what it says. But in the first video, it shows a student walking through the hallways, experiencing the everyday struggles of high school. Then at the end, it shows him walking into an auditorium full of people with a gun.

At the end of the video, the screen reads: "Most people only notice a shooter once it's too late. See the signs and stop a shooting before it happens." The next video I want to show you literally brings me to tears every single time I watch it. It's a back to school video showing kids with all of their new school supplies. Throughout the video, however, the students start using their school supplies to protect themselves in a school shooting. Some kids are holding up scissors behind a door.

Another kid uses a skateboard to break a window. A girl uses a sock to treat her friend's bullet wound. And lastly, a girl uses her phone to text her mom "I love you" as a shooter walks into the room. Here is that video. This year, my mom got me the perfect bag for back to school. These colorful binders help me stay organized. These headphones are just what I need for studying. These new sneakers are just what I need for the new year.

This jacket is a real must-have. My parents got me the skateboard I wanted. It's pretty cool. These scissors really come in handy in art class. These colored pencils too. These new socks? They can be a real lifesaver. And I finally got my own phone to stay in touch with my mom. At the end, the screen reads, "It's back to school time." And you know what that means. School shootings are preventable when you know the signs.

According to the Sandy Hook Promise website, there are nine warning signs for future mass shooters. They include: 1. Suddenly withdrawing from friends, family, and activities, including online or via social media. 2. Bullying, especially if targeted towards differences in race,

religion, gender, or sexual orientation. 3. Excessive irritability, lack of patience, or becoming angry quickly. 4. Experiencing chronic loneliness or social isolation. 5. Expressing persistent thoughts of harming themselves or someone else. 6. Making direct threats towards a place, another person, or themselves. 7. Bragging about access to guns or weapons. 8. Recruiting accomplices or audiences for an attack.

And nine, directly expressing a threat as a plan. So let's take this time to educate not only ourselves, but our younger generation about the warning signs of a school shooter. Because like the website says, most people don't notice them until it's too late.

It's our job to protect our future generations and putting a stop to gun violence in schools where children should feel the most safe is a great first step. Courtney and I are making a donation to Sandy Hook Promise and we encourage you to do the same. You can make your donation at sandyhookpromise.org.

And to end this episode, we're going to play you guys a few interviews with people connected to this tragedy. The first we're going to play comes from Richard and Krista Ricos, whose daughter Jessica was tragically killed that morning at Sandy Hook. This interview was conducted shortly after the massacre by ABC News.

And she was a ball of fire. She ruled the roost. She... Our little CEO, we called her. You know, she was the boss. When the call came on Friday morning that Sandy Hook Elementary was on lockdown, Krista Ricos rushed through the town where she and her husband were both raised. And I just, as I was running, I just kept thinking, I'm coming for you, honey, I'm coming.

And I got to the firehouse. We had no idea at that point. We thought, OK-- We're just waiting. --the reports are that one or two people may have been injured. I walked around the firehouse. I was like, maybe she's in there. Maybe she's there. Yeah, I must have done 100 laps. I knew exactly what she was wearing. I knew I was going to see her little ponytail come around the corner and her jacket and her black glittery--

Uggs that she had on that morning and I knew I was gonna see her and I didn't there was still hope oh because the children were hiding they finally around 1:15 asked everybody to sit down and um they said that um it was a tragic day in Newtown today and 20 children were killed and they still didn't tell me that little girl was gone there was so much

panic and confusion when that announcement was made. Life was just sucked out of everyone in the room. And, you know, I just point blank found a state trooper and was like, are there any survivors? Are you telling me that standing here as a parent, my child is gone? And he said yes. Overcome with grief, the Ricos returned home. I got into her bed that she'd just gotten out of. And, um...

We just stayed in bed. It's still not real that my little girl, who's so full of life and who wants a horse so badly and who's going to get cowgirl boots for Christmas, isn't coming home. Are you angry? That hasn't registered to me. The killer's face, the name, everything. I just see through it right now. I just want to keep talking about her and...

all the things she loved to do. She was their six-year-old family powerhouse, forever their angel. I found a little journal and I don't even know when it's from, but I just opened the book and it was exactly what I needed because it says, I love you so much, Mama. It's like she knew that we were going to need something to help us get through this. That's just like what an amazing little girl she was. Yes.

And this second interview was conducted with teacher Caitlin Roig, who put all of her children in her class in the bathroom at the back of the room and saved a number of lives that day. This interview was conducted on the day of the shooting by ABC News.

One of my students on top of the toilet, I just knew we had to get in there. I was just telling them it's going to be okay, you're going to be all right. I had pulled a bookshelf before I closed the door in front of it. So it was completely, we were completely barricaded in. I turned the lights off. Did you tell them to be quiet? Did you worry about one of them shouting? No, I told them to be quiet. I told them we had to be absolutely quiet because I was just so afraid that if he did come in and then he would hear us and then he would maybe just start shooting the door.

So I said, no, we just have to be absolutely quiet. And I said, there are bad guys out there now. We need to wait for the good guys. I just wanted us to be okay. And I'm so saddened that there are people who in this situation are not okay. And my heart goes out to anyone who knew them and was a part of their lives. I just can't imagine.

Did they cry? No, if they started crying, I would like take their face and say, it's going to be okay. Show me your smile. Like I really tried to like, you know, and one of my students was, you know, would say like things like, I know karate, so it's okay. I'll lead the way out. They really said to you, we want to go home for Christmas. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to hug my mom or just, you know, things like that that were just...

It's heartbreaking, you know, and like in my mind, I mean, because you're hearing I've never been a part of something, obviously, anywhere near this traumatic. And so I'm hearing the gunfire in the hallway and I'm thinking in my mind, I'm the first classroom. Why isn't he coming? You know, I'm thinking we're next and.

And in my mind I'm thinking, as a six-year-old, seven-year-old, what are your thoughts? And I'm thinking that I have to almost be their parent. I have to tell them. So I said to them, I said, I need you to know that I love you all very much.

And that it's going to be okay, because I thought that was the last thing they were ever going to hear. I thought we were all going to die. You know, and I don't know if that's okay. You know, teachers and, you know, but I wanted them to know someone loved them, and I wanted that to be one of the last things they heard.

Not the gunfire in the hallway. It's just so horrible. Horrible. Horrible, horrible. How did you know you were going to be okay? What happened? I didn't. What finally happened was the gunfire stopped. The gunfire wasn't that long. So that stopped, but I said, no, we're not going anywhere. We're staying here until someone good comes in. Sorry, gets us out. So eventually what happened was

The police came and started knocking and obviously I mean I was completely beside myself And I said I don't I don't believe you you need to put your badges under the door So they put their badges under the door I said if you're really a police officer then you would have a way to get in here you would have a key or you would have gotten it from the Jan if everything's okay now you would have found the keys so he had the keys and he found the right one and he unlocked the door and then they brought us out to the firehouse to meet up with the rest of

the teachers and students waiting for parents to come and pick them up. I think there are a lot of people who wish, that want all the teachers to know how much it means to them, how much they care about their children. How could you not? Thank you. Thank you.

And this last interview was conducted with a young student who survived the shooting named Ella Seaver. It was also conducted by ABC News the night of the shooting. What do you remember? What happened? We...

- We got to school, we did everything we needed to and then we heard all this racket at our classroom and we were like all scared. Then we heard them say, "Go in your cubbies." - Everybody went to their cubbies? - Mm-hmm. - Did you hear any more bad noises?

Yes. And while that was going on, your teacher was reading you books and keeping you calm? Yeah. You have a good teacher, don't you? Mm-hmm. You love your teacher? Yeah. Did your teacher seem nervous? No. She just kept her calm and told you a story? Mm-hmm. Do you remember which one? She read us "The Nutcracker" and another book that was about Christmas. I love "The Nutcracker." Do you love it? Yes. "I'm Afraid of the Mouse King."

It's a little scary, let's be honest, right? It's not just me. So you're in there. How do you leave the classroom? What happens? How do you want to leave it? We got on the line and we had to close our eyes. You had to close your eyes? Yes. And when you opened them, where were you? We were walking down to the fire station. What happened there today happened and it's over, okay? And you have to be happy that you're okay.

You okay? I didn't even check you out. You all right? Yeah. What happened here in the front? Did you have teeth there this morning when you went there? No. Oh, good. All right. Then you know that you're missing all the teeth. You're aware of that? Ella, Christmas list made? Mm-hmm. Sent to Santa? Yes. How long is the list? Two pieces of paper.

And to end this podcast, we want to share a fact with everybody. The children who died that day at Sandy Hook would have been going into their senior year of high school this year. It's crazy how fast time flies and how this tragedy continues to affect people to this day. We're going to have a moment of silence for all of those young victims now. Thanks for listening.

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Hey, everybody. It's Colin here. And Courtney. If you couldn't tell at the end, I was actually crying just talking into the microphone because this is such an emotional story. I know Courtney had a hard time writing this episode. Yeah, I mean, I cried several times during it. I think that this is definitely one of the most horrific cases in America, and we tell those cases here at Murder in America, so...

Yeah, it's a it's an important story to know and it's an important story that really makes you think about life and about so many different issues that our country is facing. Even to this very day, the violence has never stopped. You know, it's crazy how it just it continues. You think something like that would change something, but no. Anyways, we're going to shout out our patrons now for this week. Courtney, you want to start? Sure. Our first patron is Nick. Alicia Spriggs.

And

And Aaron. If you want to become a patron, we post all of our episodes ad-free on our Patreon. We also have bonus content. We talk to everybody on there. It's a great community. So if you love Murder in America, go sign up. Also follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Murder in America. We are so thankful to have everybody out there listening to the show. And we have some really, really great stories and cases coming up. Today, we're just going to end the outro with silence.

because, yeah, this is a story that really affected us both, but we'll see you next week. See you on the next one, everyone.