EP. 179 : TENNESSEE - JUSTICE For APRIL HOLT (Pt. 3)
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There are places where the world's most gruesome crimes have led to years, decades, and sometimes even centuries of supernatural activity. The victims seemingly reaching out from beyond the grave for justice. Those locations are in Creepy Places, a true crime podcast. And I am your host, John Grylls.

Join me in these creepy places, if you dare, as we dive deep into the epicenter of true terror. Hey everyone, I'm Joe. And I'm Jen. We're co-hosts of Murder Made Fiction, a podcast that looks at fictionalized adaptations of true crime. That's Murder Made Fiction wherever you get your podcasts. And until then, let's leave the murder on the screen.

Hello everyone and welcome to part three of The Murderer of April Holt.

If you haven't listened to part one and two, go back now and listen, and then come back to this episode because we have some pretty important updates. Last week, we mentioned that Donovan Holt was set to be arraigned on Wednesday, October 23rd. This was incredibly disappointing because he was facing charges of reckless homicide for the death of his wife, April Holt. And we don't think that's an appropriate charge.

In the summer of 2024, Donovan admitted that he accidentally killed April while choking her during sex.

But if you listened to the last episode, we gave a ton of evidence that will make you question Donovan's story. We, along with countless others, believe that April Holt's death was no accident. So we called on everyone listening to sign our petition to try and get Donovan Holt's charges increased. Now, since the last episode aired, Donovan's arraignment was actually rescheduled.

It's now scheduled for mid-November 2024. So if you're listening before that date, that means you still have time to make a difference here. If enough people listen and share this episode and sign the petition, we can let authorities in Nashville know that we're watching and that we will not accept them cutting corners anymore.

We truly believe that our voices have power, so we need to use them and we need to demand justice for April Holt. So if you haven't already done so, please consider signing the petition linked in the description below. If Donovan is arraigned on charges of reckless homicide, the maximum sentence for that is just 12 months.

12 years. That is not justice. Now we will continue to give you updates as the case goes on, but in this episode, we are going to give you an update on the evidence we found in Donovan's apartment.

We are also going to take a step into April's life, talking with the people closest to her. We interviewed her family, her friends, and even her children. Then lastly, we are going to talk about the legacy April leaves behind and how her mother, Jamie, is going to use this tragedy to make a difference in the world. So this is the story of April Holt. I'm Courtney Brown. And I'm Colin Brown. And you're listening to Murder in America.

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We wanna start off this episode by talking about the evidence we gathered from Donovan's apartment. Now, first we wanna say that we know what we did wasn't typical for true crime podcasters going through the killer's apartment. And some of you were really upset that we did that. Some people even said that we were completely ruining the investigation or that we were tampering with evidence, but those claims couldn't be further from the truth.

I want to remind everyone that 1. We did not break in, we were let in with a key. 2. The whole reason we were there in the first place was to get Denzel's stuff, stuff that his mother had given him that was all about to be thrown in the trash due to the eviction. 3. And most importantly, I want to emphasize that the police were never going to search that apartment.

Mike Rollins told us that himself at the end of part two. There are some people acting like we swooped in before the police could get there and stole evidence when that's not true. The police were never going to search the apartment and days after we left, everything inside was thrown away.

So it was either we grab it or it ends up in a landfill. I wanna tell you about an important update regarding the evidence we gathered. After our phone call with Mike Rollins, the DA in Nashville actually sent some police officers to our house in Houston to get the evidence we found. And they are reviewing it now to see if it can be used in Donovan's trial. It may not be used at all.

I'm fully aware that there are rules law enforcement has to follow to protect citizens from unlawful search and seizures. And because that evidence wasn't gathered with a search warrant, it is completely possible that what we found may never see the light of day in Donovan's trial. But the fact that they are looking at the evidence at all is huge.

From the very beginning, April Holt's death investigation wasn't handled properly, so many things were overlooked.

So we're happy that they're looking into what we found. And honestly, we don't regret doing what we did, especially since it might actually make a difference at this point. The entire motive behind going to San Antonio wasn't to crack the case. We weren't there to try and insert ourselves into the investigation. We went there that day to get Denzel's belongings in April's journals that Jamie Dickerson, her mother, asked us to get. And

And while we were there, we just happened upon everything else we found. But after seeing that stuff in Donovan's apartment, we knew we had to at least tell the police about it. And what they did from there was up to them. And luckily we did grab it because the DA in Nashville is going through all of it right now.

Now, we also want to point out that obviously we aren't experts in law. I made some comments in the last episode about how they should have searched Donovan's San Antonio apartment. I figure that after investigators found out Donovan had been lying to their faces for an entire year and that he did actually kill his wife, that they would have grounds to search that apartment.

But since then, I realized that it's true. Getting search warrants isn't that easy. However, it is important to note that most of the stuff we found in his apartment was already missed by investigators during their first search. If you remember, Donovan and April's Tennessee apartment was searched while she was in the hospital.

but clearly it wasn't searched very well. Investigators admitted in the committee report that they never even found the divorce papers that Jamie said were sitting right out on the counter. They also never found that love letter that was addressed to April from that inmate.

which would have been in the apartment during the search. And they clearly didn't find Donovan's journals, where he's talking about not wanting a divorce because it would just make him a money man. All of that we found was written before April's death, meaning it likely would have been in Donovan's stuff when their apartment was searched.

So clearly the investigators just didn't search well enough or they would have found all of that themselves. Here is Jamie explaining how the police missed a lot of evidence, including the divorce papers that were out on the counter.

She had gotten the divorce papers. They were actually on the counter, which the police never collected as evidence. The divorce papers were on her kitchen counter the morning she was killed. And they were bright green. And so when I asked the detectives why they didn't see that, they were like, oh, we didn't see any divorce papers. They did not...

They obviously did not go to collect evidence. They just went there to close out the case is how I feel. I feel like they went there to do a partial job to say they went there, that was it. And then they left.

So, as you can tell by that, if the police didn't even see bright green divorce papers that were sitting out on the kitchen counter, they clearly weren't looking for Donovan's journals that we found inside of his old apartment. And that's a huge part of this story. Of course, our main goal is to get justice for April Holt, but we also want to expose how poorly this investigation was handled. If it wasn't for the work of Jamie Dickerson, April's case would have been ruled a suicide, and Donovan Holt would be a free man. And that...

personally is not okay. There was also plenty of evidence from the very beginning that April Holt did not kill herself, but no one would listen. Evidence was completely overlooked, corners were cut, and in the end, Nashville PD did not conduct a thorough investigation. And it's shocking and disturbing to think of how many police departments across the United States of America have conducted flawed investigations just like this.

Many times, guilty men and women have been let off the hook, allowed to walk free. Other times, due to sloppy, lazy police work, innocent men and women have been convicted of crimes they didn't commit.

and in some extreme cases have been executed based on those false accusations. So this is something that's incredibly important to Courtney and I. And I personally love law enforcement. I love the cops, but only when they're really doing the job that they promised society they would do. And we've said it plenty of times that we completely respect law enforcement. I can't imagine having the jobs that they have.

But when mistakes of this magnitude are made, we have to hold them accountable because if we don't, who's to say it won't happen again? How many other people out there have been murdered, but due to lousy police work, their deaths are ruled suicides? Like we mentioned in the previous episodes,

The cops didn't even show up to April's apartment to start investigating until six hours after she was brought to the hospital. And during that time, her killer was able to go in and out of his apartment multiple times doing who knows what.

"We really hope that going forward, the police in Nashville will remember April's story the next time they work a case like hers. Maybe next time, if a spouse is found unconscious under suspicious circumstances, they will not only send EMS, but also the police

so they can start investigating right away. Hopefully next time, they will conduct a more thorough search of the crime scene. Maybe they'll see journal entries and text messages where the victim flat out says, "I do not wanna take my own life," and they'll reconsider ruling it a suicide.

Hopefully they will remember April's case and they'll do better next time. Jamie Dickerson told us that she truly believes her daughter's case can make a difference in cases going forward. And we agree. But in order for that change to happen, we have to have these conversations.

Now, again, we really want to urge everyone listening to go sign the petition to increase Donovan Holt's charges. He claimed that April was killed when he choked her during sex, but in the last episode, we read you journal entries where April said she and Donovan weren't having sex anymore.

We also told you about the sexual assault April experienced days before her death. After the assault, April wrote in her journal about how traumatized she was afterwards. So, the fact that it's being claimed that April was wanting to be choked out during sex, just days after being sexually assaulted,

doesn't add up we believe that there was something more to this story all parties once again are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law but in a case like this the evidence just doesn't add up and we're desperately hoping that the authorities in Nashville notice this and decide to take action

When Courtney and I flew to Tennessee, we got to dig deeper into this case, and Jamie Dickerson told us about some other concerning comments Donovan had made to April in the past. He had told April before...

that if she was to ever leave him, that he was going to be like Joe off of the show You. Now, the show You has a main character named Joe who falls in love with these women, stalks them, and in the end, he kills all of them, which is pretty eerie. This was something that she told my nephew, which he did make a police statement. He went down to the police station and made the statement. They did not take it.

for any kind of evidence. They didn't really care. But he did go down there and tell them that. Now, maybe Donovan was joking when he made that comment about how if April ever left him, he would act like the character Joe from You. Or maybe he wasn't.

Because in the end, just like the show, when April tried to leave, she ended up dead. April's friends and family think that after she asked for a divorce and started texting other guys, after she got assaulted by that man in Tennessee, Donovan could feel that she was truly moving on from him. So in a fit of rage, he killed her and

and staged her death as a suicide, a lie that he kept up with for nearly a year. Now, like we mentioned, in just a few weeks, mid-November 2024, he will be arraigned on these reckless homicide charges. So with your help, we can try and get those charges increased if we make enough noise. So please, please, please go sign the petition and share this story, and let's get justice for April Lynn Holt.

But something that Jamie emphasized to us is that she refuses to let her daughter's story go unnoticed. At the end of the day, this is not a case of suicide. It's not a case of sex gone wrong. This is a case about domestic violence. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, quote, over one in three women, 35.6%,

One in four men, 0.5% in the US, have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. That statistic is scary.

It's also horrifying to think that in the last week of April's life, she was assaulted by two men. First, she was sexually assaulted by Floyd Thomas Jr. And then days later, she was murdered by her husband. And she deserved better than that. April was a beautiful and compassionate human

who touched so many lives in her 29 years, she made the world a better place. And her absence has left a huge hole in the hearts of all who knew her, including her friend, Kaylee Young. I'm Kaylee Young. I'm actually best friends with April. I'd say more as like a little sister. I grew up with her. We were originally from Florida and came to Tennessee with...

Jamie is her mom, which is my mom's best friend.

April was seven years older than me, so I was the little girl that would run around her and just always want to do the things she did, wanted to be just like her. Like, she always says, be the girl that little girls look up to. And what's just crazy is because I was the little girl that always looked up to her. So she really didn't know that the whole time she had a little girl looking up to her. That was me. I asked Kaylee to describe April.

And this is what she said. I always used to say to April that I would describe her as soft because everything she would touch or the way she would talk and everything, she was very just mellow and loving and she was just a very comfortable person to be around.

Now since Kaylee and April were so close, Kaylee got to know Donovan Holt as well. And here's what she had to say about him.

My impression of Donovan, in the beginning, he was always a little off, but he only would, I feel, would gravitate towards me out of the family, all three of us. I think because me and April were so much alike in all of our jokes and stuff like that, so he felt like he could open up. But...

It was always weird when I would come around. Sometimes I couldn't hang out with her or I could hang out with her. He had his days where sometimes it was nice and other days it was just, you know, Donovan's in his mood. So we really don't want to talk. But I thought he was more obsessed with her than Donovan.

I would say he envied her. So I didn't see anything coming. That was shocking. I remember one time we had church the next day. It was a Saturday night. We had stayed out late.

We were actually at Taco Bell and we just like to drive around, listen to R&B music and you know, just chill. And we came home late and I remember the next morning, April didn't come out of the room yet, but Donovan came out in the room while I was, he woke me up and was sitting on the edge of the couch. And he was like, "So tell me what happened last night." And I said, "We just, you know, rode around, ate Taco Bell and nothing out of the ordinary."

He said, "Well, you know, I don't necessarily think that's what happened." And he said, "So I'm going to go ahead and kick April out." So I found it a bit odd. And I was like, you know, I was a kid at the time. I was scared. I just wanted to talk to April, see what was going on. And he ended up going into the room with April and then coming right back out, sitting back down and looked at me with a smirk and said, "Oh, I'm just kidding." And I always found it a little weird because

when you're confronting me about something and I'm young, but it was just his demeanor and how he, it was just a look in his eyes that was just, I always felt weird. And April would tell me stories of how she didn't know how to deal with Donovan and if she was in love. And I think it was a comfortable relationship. I don't necessarily think that

They were in a love relationship. I do believe that it was mainly comfortability. And I don't see the love that was reciprocated on his side.

Kaylee was never a big fan of Donovan, but that's just how life goes sometimes. Sometimes your loved ones date people who you don't really like. But over time, Donovan pulled April away from her friends and family. Kaylee and April's loved ones were concerned, but they never could have imagined the outcome that came on July 29th, 2023, a day that Kaylee will never forget.

I was in Manchester, Tennessee. I was going to Five Blow actually and I got a phone call from my older brother who lives in Florida. He found out the news before I did.

And he let me know that they just were seeing posts that April was gone and we didn't know the true story of what was going on. So I ended up getting into contact with one of April's cousins. Her name is Kaylee also. And she let me know that not a lot of information was out, but I was getting a lot of texts from other people saying that she was found by her son. Lifeless. That was all I heard until about...

Two weeks later, or I should say the funeral, I found out somebody had said, was this the first time he put his hands on her?

And that's when the curiosity started jumping and I started talking to Jamie and the family more and I found out what really happened. When investigators ruled April's death a suicide, Kaylee knew with everything in her heart that they had made a massive mistake. I knew it wasn't a suicide. April was not suicidal. Actually, she would always help people that were suicidal and try to steer them away from any danger.

unsettling thoughts. April was very just, she loved life, she loved everything that was coming to her, building up a new life. She loved her kids, her family also, and she just wasn't the type of person to think that that was her only way out. She would talk to somebody if she had any thoughts of that.

Kaylee was also a huge support system for Jamie after April's death. In fact, when Jamie was given a gag order forcing her into silence, Kaylee started her own TikTok where she continued spreading the word about April's case.

When Jamie felt her first gag order, this was after she went on TikTok, I ended up making a page, Justice for April Holt, and I went into more depth about everything that was going on and all of the injustice in the case that wasn't being told and that Jamie couldn't tell. So I would post every day and make sure that his face, Donovan Holt's face, was on the page because that was something she could not talk about. But

I always let know information that was, that maybe anybody could forget about that was re-said and always let them know that this wasn't a case of suicide and it was a case of domestic violence that was being silenced and needed to be talked about. We asked Kaylee what she hopes to see out of this case and this is what she said. I'm definitely hoping to see that she gets the full

justice. I want to see first degree murder. I do believe that it was may not have been premeditated at the beginning, but I do believe that it was premeditated towards the end because you don't drug your loved one into a bathroom. April was she wouldn't hurt a fly. So I know that

that this isn't what she deserves and she deserves the highest that she can get out of the justice. I just think that if you are in a domestic relationship or if there's any signs even from the beginning that that is your sign to go ahead and get out because anybody who was surrounded by April loved her tremendously and she's not just a best friend to certain people she was a sister to me and

It sucks not having that person here with me when she should be here. So you miss her? I miss her a lot. That was the only person I had for 21 years, 22 years. So not having her is sucky, but I know she wouldn't want to see me hurt or anything, so...

Kaylee was the sweetest girl ever and her comments at the end there really show you just how loved April Holt truly was. Now, we actually conducted these interviews at April's grandparents' house, which Jamie said was her favorite place in the world.

In fact, in the kitchen, all of the cousins wrote on wooden cooking boards that were hung on the wall. April hung hers up shortly before she passed. It read, quote, "Nana and Papa's house. My favorite thing about Nana and Papa's house is that regardless of the address or the state on how old I get, Nana and Papa's house will always be my home. It's the place where I know I'm always welcome no matter the time of day."

It's the place where I learned how to walk and talk and love. It's the place where traditions were made. The place where I played and laughed and the place where I shed the most tears. It's the place where I learned my ABCs.

and the place where I learned real life lessons. It's the place I visit even in my dreams because consciously and subconsciously, I know this is my safe place. It's the place my most precious memories reside and my heart will always thrive. A few of my favorite memories, playing with shaving cream at the dining room table,

Being trapped in the house for days during hurricanes. The home-cooked meals always made with love. Getting on the roof to put up Christmas lights. Playing office. Music lessons with pots and pans. Trying on my first wedding dress. Bible studies and Nana's prayers. Making the clay platypus with Papa. Coffee with every meal. Losing my first tooth. Summer days spent in the pool until our toes bled.

my best birthdays, Papa singing Que Sera Sera, my forever home and my favorite place on earth." Now getting to do these interviews in the very place that April loved so much was special. We looked at pictures of her sitting in the kitchen, others of her in the backyard with her children. It was a very peaceful home and you could almost feel her presence there.

For the next interview, Courtney and I sat down and spent about an hour with April's children, Serenity and Denzel. My name is Serenity. My name is Denzel. And we are April's children. I asked them to tell me a memory they had with their mom. And they said this. There was this one time when we went to this park. And I said, Mom, I bet you can't get in that chair. She got in the baby seat and she got stuck. We had to call her dad to come get her out.

She tried getting out, but she almost flipped over. I would have to say probably, like, one day she was on the swing. One day she was on the swing at my Nana's, and I said, if you can't, um, like, if you can, if you'll jump off the swing and land on your feet with no hands, I'll give you $20. And she did it, but then, but then she, like, when she said...

We asked them if they had to describe their mother in one word, what would it be? Incredible.

I would have to say credible too. Denzel told us that if he had the perfect day, this is what it would look like. I would say probably to like go with my dad, with my sister, and my mom. To like go to Universal. I would want to go to Universal. My mom wasn't really like...

We asked them what they missed the most about their mom, and Serenity said it was her voice. I would have to say what she used to call me all the time.

She used to call me booty all the time. I don't know why, but she used to call me that all the time. I thought it was funny, but I also like when she would do it in public, I thought it was so embarrassing because she would just randomly stay in front of people.

Next, we asked, if your mom was here right now, what would you say to her? Serenity said this. Because when I was little,

Like, when I was born, I was tiny. I was given like a 6% chance of living, about 10 or 6. And she said, let my daughter survive, take me. So I decided to take both of us and let us live.

Yeah, I'm grateful for that. Denzel said this. I'd probably lay on her back and while she's scratching my back, I'd probably fall asleep. Then most likely she would put me on my bed and then go to the couch. Right after his answer, Denzel switched it up and said this. I would ask like in about 30 to an hour, I would say like I would bring a shovel and

And I would like, bring my mom, I would ask her like when we're at the grave, can you relive yourself somehow? So then I would dig her up and then get her out of the grave and then somehow surprise everyone. Yeah, I would ask her if she could come back to life. She would be a zombie then. And she would still be nice probably. I mean, it's true.

And I thought that was such a childlike answer. At that age, trying to understand death is hard. Denzel clearly sees how his mom's death has affected everyone around him. So to cheer everyone up, he said he wishes he could dig her up and realive her.

to surprise everyone. Now, we didn't ask any of the hard hitting questions like what Denzel saw that day his mother died. He and Serenity had already been through so much and we are definitely not qualified to ask those kinds of questions. So we decided to keep it light and end the interview there on a happy note.

And like we mentioned before, after April died, Serenity was immediately put in therapy. But Donovan refused to put Denzel in therapy, likely because he didn't want his son opening up about what he saw that day. But now that he lives with Jamie, he's finally getting the help he deserves. For this upcoming year, Jamie is going to homeschool him as he's adjusting to this new life.

And together as a family, they are all going to try and heal from this horrible tragedy.

Now, after interviewing Serenity and Denzel, we went back inside and we got to meet April and Donovan's dog, Rocco. He's a pocket bully and he's the sweetest little dog in the world. He's so cute. Now, trigger warning, this next part involves animal cruelty. But as we were petting him, we couldn't help but notice the dog had a huge scar on his back. Jamie told us that Rocco had gotten that scar after Donovan allegedly hit him with a metal pipe.

Luckily, after Donovan's arrest, Jamie now owns Rocco, and he's in good hands. But from here, we started interviewing Jamie once again, this time in person, and she talked to us about how she hopes her daughter's case will make changes within law enforcement going forward. Somebody calls 911, and there is a spouse in the home, and that other spouse is not

breathing, automatically the police should have been called out. There should be no question they should be there within minutes. They should be called out at the exact same time, just like if you had a car accident and you had a fire truck. They should be called out immediately because any kind of evidence that they would need would have been there right then. We don't know what happened in the six hours prior to the cops getting there. We don't know what happened in the three times Donovan went there. We don't know any of that. That's all. The cops never collected any video surveillance from the apartments inside, outside, nothing.

Nothing was collected. No neighbors were talked to. Not one neighbor was even talked to. I still don't have much faith in this system that I'm about to go and sit before and have to sit in a courtroom. I pray that the support that I bring with me and a judge and the trial as it goes through, that they will see that

This is more than what they are saying, that they need to actually do their jobs and look at all the pieces this time and stop disregarding everything. And also be knowledgeable enough to know when somebody can tell a story and make up the sexual choking. And all it took is five seconds for him to look up, what can I say to her that if she does tell on me, will get me less charges? It takes two seconds to figure that out. Yeah.

Jamie also hopes that there can be some sort of training for police officers when going through these investigations. Like how, in her daughter's report, the detective said April had been looking up suicide websites, when in reality, it was a car repossession site. For you to come up with a site, a title for a site that is not in existence, and it

It just painted a picture of somebody that my daughter was not. I think they should be using this as a case file that they can now look into for future reference on how not

to do things and how to better the system. They should know how they should search into a case and it should be first looked into as a homicide and then into a suicide. It should never be suicide first and then homicide. That should not exist. How many people have not gotten justice? How many moms right now? How many dads? How many people are out there in this world that we did not get justice and now they just walk free among us and

We do not know who they are. They're not going to wear a title. They don't wear a badge. There's nothing saying that this person does this right or wrong thing. And it is up to us to make sure that our system is held accountable for their actions.

If they do not do their jobs, then they need to be held accountable. I think that people are scared of the system, but that system is supposed to work for them. And if it's not, then you need to stand up against it. So I want to make sure that we are able to change policies, procedures, get the charges increased to what they should be, and then just give hope to other families. Like if you hear closed case, it doesn't mean closed. It just means closed.

Like Jamie said, her next fight is to increase these charges. But after that, there isn't much more she can do. Her fight will be over, and our legal system will have to take it from there. And we can only hope that they'll do their job and get true justice for April Holt.

As for the trial, we asked Jamie what the best case scenario and worst case scenarios are. Best case scenario is that we can get our charges of reckless homicide changed to first degree murder, as well as we can get child endangerment put on there. Because right now we are looking at in the worst case scenario, we have two D felonies and one C, which can possibly be six to 12 years, which is

My April Holt is gone forever. She doesn't have any years. She's got zero years. So I don't see why somebody else should be able to get to walk free in six years and just get to live a life when hers was taken. I have to live an entire lifetime without her. Her children live an entire lifetime without her, all because of somebody's poor decisions and because of anger or frustration or whatever the mental illness is.

We have to live with that decision that someone else has taken from us and took from her. She would still be here. Now, regardless of how the trial plays out, Jamie says that at the end of the day, she has to forgive Donovan for what he did. As the mother of who he's taken from me, it's very hard to have that kind of forgiveness. But I've had to learn that forgiveness is for me. I can't carry the weight of all of that.

And one of the main things Jamie wants to focus on now is healing for her and her family. Trying to find time for myself to start this healing process because during the fight, which is still going, this fight is still going to be a long road. It could be a year or years of trials, but...

So that's exactly what Jamie will do. But over the last year, she's also felt a calling. In the conclusion, I would say, of everything that's gone on over the past year, at the very beginning of 2020,

the grief process, I didn't understand how you can grieve the loss of a child. I think that it's something you don't prepare for. There's no rule book. There's no training on how will you grieve if you lose a child because usually a parent will pass away first. And so I didn't know how to process those emotions and my best way of doing that was writing them down. And so journaling, just like April used to journal every day,

I decided I'm going to journal. So for the first 30 days after she passed away, I wrote a book called Grieving Through Grace. And it is literally a guide to the grief journey after the loss of a child or a loved one. And so it just goes through the process of what it's like and that it's okay to not be okay and that

You're going to have good days and bad days. And you can sometimes look into, and this is just in my first 30 days, being able to look into something that's such a tragedy and still find beauty in the life that she had. The 29 years that I had with her, being able to find those memories and dig those up helped me with processing. And so that is where this book came into existence. You can find it anywhere online, but

It's just grieving through grace, just finding that grace that God can give you to walk yourself through this process. Something that I have focused on greatly is her journals. They are her words, her thoughts.

A lot of times she would date them, but I had taken just a page of her journal and I put it in my book. And I'm going to just read that short journal entry to you. So this is from April's words and it says, what is my purpose? My purpose is to be the best version of myself. My purpose is to be the best expression of who I am. My purpose is to teach others and show them a new way.

And then she said it's called soul talk. And so,

When I read things like that, I know that she would be so proud to be able to know that her words are still impacting others in a positive way. Her words literally impact me as her mom. I might have raised her, but she's still teaching me. And I'm still learning, even from her from the grave, of how we can just...

invest ourselves into others. And so I will take those words with me forever. And we will, her legacy is going to live on in a bright way. She, I always tell people she was such a bright light, you know, for everybody. If she walked into a room, she was a bright light. And I want to make sure that that's going to live on and it won't be dimmed out. It's going to shine brighter than she could have ever imagined.

We will be linking her book in the description below. In part one, there were hundreds of people who commented and messaged us about Jamie's journal where she wrote about burying April in her mismatched socks.

And everyone said that that part made them so emotional. And that came directly from her book. So everyone go and support Jamie by ordering a copy for yourself. But something else that Jamie is very passionate about is a vision that God put on her heart. You see, following April's death, Jamie was devastated.

Not only did she lose her daughter, but the police weren't investigating her case properly. And at times, the grief was all-consuming. And when someone's family is rocked by tragedy, there's not a rulebook on how to live with that grief. Jamie found herself sitting in bed for days on end,

while the entire world goes on without her. At times, she felt alone, like no one understood what she was going through. - For all those people that are just in their bed, if they go out in public, they feel like everybody around them doesn't understand, 'cause I was that person at first. Like when I'd go to a store,

I would smell the smell rose and that was April's favorite smell. It's a roses. It was her favorite scent. And so I'd be crying in Hobby Lobby and I would be like, oh my gosh, this is just reminding me. And everything's a trigger. And so when you're going through such grief like that,

You tend to feel all alone, like you're walking in a tunnel and everybody around you is just everything's still going on. Everything in everybody's world is the exact same. And yeah, they all feel bad for you and they all are sorry for you. But now you are almost like just

well, that's April's mom that's going through grief. There's a title. She lost her daughter to murder. Or those are the kids that have no parent. Everybody gets this title of sadness. And I'm like, wait a minute. We got to keep our light on. We're not done. God said I'm not done yet. So that's when God gave her the vision to open up a grief center in Nashville. On top of this book, we are...

just now funding for a grief center and it's going to be called Grieve With Me. And the reasons for the Grieve With Me title is that we are, we have a children's book that we are currently publishing and it's called Grieve With Me and Serenity, April's daughter actually helped in writing that book. And so I wanted to name the grief center after something that would be a legacy to her children that her spirit gets to live on. So this grief center is going to

be a place of peace of hope it'll have a youth center we'll have a lounge area where moms or dads or anybody grieving can just come and sit and be i find the one thing that i talk to many parents that have lost or lost a child or if you've just lost a loved one the one thing that they're looking for is just that moment of calmness just the moment to just sit there and

do absolutely nothing but just be in their own thoughts or just to write I color it sounds so crazy but I color or draw because it's just therapeutic for me but being able to have that moment I want to be able to offer that to people that don't have that in their homes that they can just come and they can just sit and drink a cup of coffee and then I want to have grief art therapy so you can express yourself so being able to express yourself through art

is a way of taking emotions that are otherwise locked inside of you and being able to express them outwardly. And so that will be another focus of the Grief Center. There will be support groups. Everything will be free resources. So it is a nonprofit. We are funding for that currently. There is nothing like that in our area as we looked for ourselves and for our grandchildren. There has been nothing in this area of that sort. And we want to be able to offer that to all of the community, all ages. Doesn't matter how old you are. We want to have resources for you.

What a beautiful idea. Jamie's Grief Center, Grieve With Me, is going to help out so many people around Nashville and how amazing that she's turning this tragedy into something that will make the world a better place. We have made a donation to Jamie's Grief Center and she still needs help with funding so if you feel called, we will be linking her GoFundMe below.

We will also link her Amazon registry, which is full of items that will make her grief center feel cozy and welcoming to everyone that comes in. On the registry, there are things like blankets, coffee mugs, books on grief, art supplies, and so much more, all of which will help her vision come to life. We are so happy that Jamie has been called to do this, and we truly believe that this center is going to change lives.

Jamie also told us that she's really felt called to help others in domestic violence situations. So, after her daughter's death, she created these little Ziploc baggies that she will leave out in public.

Inside of them, there's a picture of April, a dragonfly charm, and a card that reads the following. This dragonfly is a memory of our daughter, April Holt, who died at the age of 29 from domestic abuse. This is your sign to get out or help someone get out. If you or they are in a domestic violence relationship and are trafficking, one in four women will be abused. One in seven men will be abused.

And at the bottom I give the help numbers of 800-799-7233. There are safe places to get out. And so this is the other thing that I'm doing. I leave these and I leave a little dragonfly because that is just what means so much to me. And so it's just a little imprint and this catches their eye because it glimmers. So we leave these on tables at restaurants. Whenever the Holy Spirit says, hey, leave one, it might just be on a shelf in a store, but rest areas especially.

We want to make sure that people know that there is help available. You can get out safely. Do not be scared. There's also a national sign and I don't know if most people know it, but you can literally just put your thumb in and close your hand like this. And so I want not only

my children and everybody else should know, but if more people knew this, somebody puts that sign behind their back that you can get them help. And so it's the simplest signs, but people don't know them. So education is key to being able to help others. And so that's my other area of just importance that I focus on is just education and just getting people, getting the word out. - And the reason she chose to put a dragonfly charm in the baggies is because every time Jamie visits April's grave, dragonflies come to visit her.

And to Jamie, that's a sign. Here's some footage we got from when we visited April's grave with Jamie and where she told us about the dragonflies. So the very first time I came out here after she died, um,

there was blue dragonflies. And I was like, I'm not really a dragonfly person. I was like, they're kind of scary to me. But then it was like me and Denzel were sitting out here and we were sitting up here somewhere. The grave, the headstone wasn't here yet. And it took a long time to get the headstone because it was so big. I had to get it from Georgia. So we were sitting up here and

It was like here and we were sitting here and it was just hovering and we were like, okay. So I looked it up and I'm like, it says that blue dragonflies are like a sign of peace. And I was like, oh, I just love that. So I went home and I drew up my own

it's kind of dry today but i went and drew up my own um dragonflies of like me and april and so i was like we're gonna and i went and i just went to a tattoo shop and decided this is what i was gonna do but now whenever we see dragonflies denzel goes there's a dragonfly and like it's our it's like our reminder of like mommy mommy's here with us and jamie actually goes to april's grave pretty often she and her family will get flowers and little trinkets and decorate it depending on the season

I always come up here. So me and my sister actually come and we change it for season and put new things out here. My grandparents are actually buried here too. But they're like up here and she's got the huge grave blanket. I love the grave blanket. Yeah, somebody actually sent it to me off of TikTok. Really? They contacted me and they were like, do you want a grave blanket? And I was like, absolutely. It used to be really bright and it has like the kids in the back with her. Oh, I see it. Yeah. That's so sweet.

Kaylee painted her the mermaid for her birthday. Serenity made her a phone because she said she can't call her mom. So we actually come here quite a bit. I asked Jamie how it felt visiting April's grave, and she said this. You know, I'm going to be honest. I find peace in it. I'm sad. I spend so many years

hours crying, but I come out here because it's peaceful. It's my closest way to be to April. Before she was buried here, I came here with my parents and believe it or not, this is weird, but like two months prior to her dying and they were like, we need to find a spot for grandma because grandma's got dementia. And so we actually parked over there and the owner of the grave site came out and he was just explaining all these things and his dad's buried out here. And, and then I saw this big tree and I was like, mom,

mom, this is just like peaceful. And so we picked a spot for my grandma and my mom goes, why don't we just buy two? And I was like, boom, okay, if you want two spots. So we bought two, not knowing that one would actually be for April. And I think God aligns things so that, um,

He knows, like, this isn't something that I would have been able to handle. And so even at her cemetery, we had a gravesite cemetery. And it was literally like five minutes. I said, pray and put her in the ground. I can't handle anything more. So, I mean, this place was lined with cars, like the whole place. Jamie also said that April's children, Serenity and Denzel, have mixed emotions about visiting their mom's grave. Serenity, he does not like to come here. She gets an upset stomach. Denzel loves to come here.

And he takes, so Denzel takes, so like when we're done with all these fall flowers, he will go and find a grave that looks like they're not been loved on. And he puts all the flowers on the graves that look like they haven't been visited. So some of the flowers that are around here, he's actually transported and he'll run around and be like, this one needs love. And he takes them. So when falls over,

He'll come out here and he'll help me redistribute to the ones that need love. Serenity came here for her birthday to open her presents. Like she said, I've always opened my presents with my mom. My mom has not missed my birthday. And so like for her birthday, she came and sat here and she'll bring her presents and open them here. And she doesn't even like to be at the grave, but she's like, I want to be with mommy. And so there are certain things that are just...

You know, we're just, my whole family comes here all the time. My older sister comes and she does the seasonal changes. And so it's just a special place. I don't look at it as a negative because I know where she went.

it's a sad thing but it's not a negative i'm like she's actually in a much better place than all of us we're gonna get april justice i know we are we're gonna we're never gonna stop fighting until we get it so and the correct justice would be great yes i'm glad we got here before the sunset i know it but the mosquitoes will eat you alive i know no i was out here one day and i came out here right after it rained i was at church and i came out here after it rained

I swear, I probably had 30 mosquito bites, like, up and down my legs. And I was like, okay, I have to leave, honey, but mom's putting up. And that was the end of our trip to Tennessee. When I first came across April's story in October of 2023, I truly had no idea what was ahead.

But I am eternally grateful for crossing paths with Jamie Dickerson. She is so inspiring and truly one of the strongest women I have ever met. And she clearly raised her daughter to be the same. Like Jamie, April Holt was a beautiful person, someone who dedicated her life to inspiring others. And in the end, that's exactly what she would do. April Holt's story will change lives.

I know it's changed mine. And I'm confident that her story will change the way that law enforcement handles cases of domestic violence going forward. And maybe there's someone listening right now

whose story sounds awfully similar. If that's the case, we want you to know that there is help available. If you are experiencing domestic violence, the National Domestic Hotline number is 1-800-799-7233. If you are in a situation where you can't call, you can also text them to get help. All you have to do is text the word START to 88788.

We want to thank you all for listening to this three-part series on a case that means so much to us. And again, please share these episodes on your social media and sign the petition so that we can get justice for April Lynn Holt. And of course, we'll be giving you updates on Donovan Holt's trial and how everything plays out. But the links to everything we mentioned in this episode will be in the description below.

Hey, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to the conclusion of our series here on April Holt's murder. This has been a wild ride up and down. We've listened to everybody and listened to everything everybody said online. Thank you to everybody who has supported us for our efforts here to try and get some justice in this case.

But it's going to be interesting to see how all of this plays out, especially with the stuff that was collected by the police to be delivered to Nashville to see if they're going to be able to use that, what that means, you know, anything and everything dealing with this story.

If you like the show and you want to help support what we're doing here, you can join us on Patreon. On Patreon, we post two bonus episodes a month so you can get access to those episodes. You can get access to early and ad-free versions of the show. I know people don't like the ads, so if you don't like the ads, consider joining us on Patreon. It helps keep the show afloat.

Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram at Murder in America. And don't forget to leave us a five-star review on whatever service or platform you're using or listening to the show on. Once again, don't forget to go sign the petition. Don't forget to help us share out April's story. And we'll give you guys some more updates when we figure out what's going to happen. But anyways, thank you all for listening. It's Colin here, and I'll catch you on the next one.