Something About Alex's Relationship ft. Men's Facial Hair is DESTROYING lives
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Because I would see people out in public, you know, and before I even made the video that we were having problems, people would see me and they'd be like, hi. And I'd be like, hi. Like, you saw me one night. I mean, I was just bawling because I was like, I feel so separate from that person. And I will. So anyways, I started talking about it more and just trying to live like, I guess, honestly. All that to say, I don't feel like I have another option either because I'm just, you can only fake it for so long. Where are your besties in your ear? Another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Wow.

Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Hi, guys. We're in, we always say Charlotte, but we're in Charleston.

I'm obsessed with Charleston. Really? Well, it's just beautiful. Last night, Alex and I were walking on, what's it again? Rainbow? Rainbow Road. Rainbow Road. The houses are colorful. They're historic. The scenery is beautiful. I just feel like we're on a movie set. I love it. I appreciate it. I don't want to live here. No. But I really like, I liked Broad Street. And then I saw we were on Meeting Street. And there was all those restaurants. And I thought that was like quaint and beautiful. Yeah.

I like the history. I like the churches. I like the architecture. But I don't understand it.

Like the heat? No, I don't get the vibe. Like what are the people like? Like we haven't met any. It's so hard to under, you know when you're like, oh, I have a friend from Dallas. So then you kind of understand Dallas. I don't have a friend from Charleston, so I don't get it. No, I also feel like the town has been so weird. Like there's not that many people walking around. No. And I'm like, is this a ghost town? Is it?

But then, but someone, so I was talking to this guy today because now I'm the person people talk to. And he was telling me, he's from Charleston, and he was like telling me the places to go to. And he was telling me that it gets really lively Thursday through Friday, or sorry, Thursday through Sunday. And during the week, the locals hide from the tourists. Makes total sense. Okay. Makes sense.

Total sense. And I can so see this being a weekend destination for people right now. But I went to this place called The Daily that is like walking distance from here for breakfast. I was in a line out the door. And it was all young girls. The entire line. Well, college is back. Yeah, it was just... And there was college and there were some older...

And I was like, okay. Like, I found everyone in one spot. I didn't understand it. Weird. Yeah, because I went and got coffee this morning and no one was there. I thought it was packed. And everyone was just adorable. But it's that, like, sweet southern. I don't know. I was like, well, you guys are so cute. Yeah, I mean, I can't do the heat here. It's so hot. It's truly... Everywhere is hot, though, right now, I feel like. Yeah, I just... I am so...

cold-blooded like I was born in a one of the coldest states and lived there for 26 years and I just can't do the heat no you're truly cold-blooded like I'm I'm very happy when I'm hot I'm not that upset here you you really are like it's hot oh I shut down my the AC when I sleep is 62 I'm just like no it's hot yeah but it is hot here let's

Let's talk about the one and only Pink Whitney, the number one flavored vodka, our beloved sponsor. Jordan and I only drink Pink Whitney. We're obsessed with Pink Whitney. We are currently in Charleston on the Pink Whitney summer tour tour.

So you guys come hang out with us if we're a city near you. Our last stop by the time this airs, our last stop will be Tampa on August 22nd. And we'll obviously be bringing Pink Whitney along for the ride. So make sure to tell your friends. Spread the word as we're ready to take some shots down south. Shoot your shot right now. Oh, I'm going to...

Give a man a compliment tonight. I love that. That's a perfect shoot your shot. Yes. Thank you. Okay. I'm going to try to be more open and honest about how I'm really feeling. That's me shooting my shot. I love that. Um, so you guys head to your local bar today and shoot your shot with pink Whitney or go to your liquor store and bring the party to whatever party you're going to with pink Whitney. The number one flavored vodka. When we were walking last night, I felt like I was in a sauna.

It was just like you can't go anywhere. Like, when you're hot on a walk, what are you supposed to do? There's nothing you can do. Yeah, and we were sitting down, and I felt like my skirt was soaking wet. I had swass. I was just like, no, thank you. Oh, a little swamp ass. Yeah. No. Not a vibe. No, it's not a vibe. It's nothing worse. Also, I realize I've worn this sweatshirt for, like, the past, like, four episodes. People probably think I have a boyfriend. You're a creature of habit. And that's my dad's. Oh.

Oh, it's my daddy's. It's my dad's. He almost gave it to my grandma and I took it. I stole this. Is your grandma alive? She's still with us? Yeah. My dad had like when I went to Rhode Island like a month ago, my dad had all this stuff and not all this like three things in the back of the car. But they were like cool, like kind of vintage stuff like this.

I was like what are you doing and he was like well I'm gonna bring this to your grandma and I was like sorry grandma this is coming home with me you just want you were like I want that I mean it's so cute so cute the amount of compliments I've gotten on this from guys too I bet I met mainly guys it's kind of that like old school vintage thing that they love they're like oh that Narragansett zip up and I'm like oh you were looking at my chest well I bet you did like

that little logo right there huh you're like uh-huh but yeah i am a creature of habit i mean this is my new sweatshirt but i'm glad that you're repping the merch yeah it's cold i was cold i i'm i need a new set of this actually yes i i do too um especially the sweats i have a lot of stains on them from wearing them every day oh my god they've been run through but they're so comfy like they really are the most comfortable thing ever not a plug but like a plug i mean shop at barstool store.com right now okay um okay i'm chugging this

And that's not coffee, folks. It's not like alcohol. Can we say it's Diet Coke? It's not alcohol. Yeah, you can say it's Diet Coke. Okay, I'm very glad to say. I just put it in a coffee cup for like aesthetic purposes. Okay, I feel like a shell of a human. And so I feel as though probably at this point, my only option would be to talk about it because I sort of feel...

I used to, I think I, I wasn't faking it episodes, but I could like compartmentalize and then we could just talk about anything other than like my relationship and I was fine. But I think it's gotten so bad, not in the sense of things have changed, like a status has changed and I'm like shocked. I mean, a little bit has, but I mean it in the sense of I woke up on Monday, I kind of felt it Sunday night and then I woke up on Monday and I was like, I can't do it one more week. Like I can't make a, this outfit or that outfit or this is the drink of the week video and

And like, that's the only content I'm putting out. Like, cause it just, it doesn't match how I feel most of the day. Um, but on the other side of it, it's like, I hesitate to talk about how I feel going through like relationship issues because I feel like it's so tough to take somebody on this journey with you of like one hour. You're like, I can't get out of bed. And then one hour you're like, okay, let's go do something. I really want to be social. One hour you're sad, uh,

I've let go of anger, but it does hit sometimes. But I really like I'm not naturally mainly like that. But I get I think the best way to describe it is a lot of times I feel like I'm in an avalanche and I just can't see a foot in front of me. So I think this week I woke up and I was like, OK, we're going to just talk about it a little bit more because that's.

Well, one, that's our job, but I wouldn't care if it was our job and I didn't want to do it because I can put out the other videos and still do the job. Right. But it doesn't feel very good. And so I called Graham and I said, I feel so divorced from who I am online versus like who I am being right here.

And I was like, I just like them. I'm so like separate from that. And he was like, right, Alex, like, you know, you're he's like, your Instagram is not matching reality. And when that happens to you, he's like, I've watched you as long as I've known you. You have to be authentic in like all areas. And that's when you're happiest and like you can function in that. And he was like, I trust you to tell the correct narrative to share your experiences accurately. It's like this podcast when it started.

He was like, don't lie. Don't get on there and say like, if you talk about what we do in the bedroom, fine, let it be exactly what we do in the bedroom. That was always his rule. And he was like, if you can do that, I'll have no problem with it. And it was the same with this. He was like, and he's like, I want you to talk about it. Like that's kind of healing for you. Cause I would see people out in public, you know, and before I even made the video that we were having problems, people would see me and they'd be like, hi,

And I'd be like, hot. Like I, you saw me one night. I mean, I was just bawling. Cause I was like, I feel so separate from that person. And then, and I will. So anyways, I've started talking about it more and just trying to live like, I guess, honestly, all that to say, I don't feel like I have another option either because I'm just, you can only fake it for so long. Um, and so I wrote down four things that I just wanted to share about, I guess what I'm learning. I don't know. I mean, I feel like you watch me and every time I see you, I, if I'm a little bit different,

But I feel good about these four and they're consistent. I mean, I've had the room down for weeks and I'll delete things. I'll add things because I only get to say this once. Right. And so the first one is that when you're going, it's just it's not even a tip. It's because I don't trust me. Let me tell you one thing I'm not going to have on the other side of this is a tip. No tips. I can just share. What does Brene Brown say? I'll share what's vulnerable, but I won't share what's intimate.

that's probably it. I think so. Yeah. No advice here. None that I have no advice. Let me tell you now more than ever, I just don't have any advice, but what I've learned and, and what's working for me is like the first one is, is be a humble student, which is very weird when you hear it at first, but it's like, um, the more you tell people what you're going through or something, people close to you, some people close to you will start,

Everyone's going to react differently when you start telling them you're having problems. But the ones I have really loved talking to and gravitated towards are the ones that default to questions and let me explain instead of telling me things and they'll hear me out. But I have to be a humble student to their questions and then to what they have to say back to me. Like it's such a touchy thing because I think we're so quick to be like, I get to do what I want. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. These people love you.

You have to sit and, you know, I called the guy that married us.

And I was like everything he said I didn't even have time to really stop and think do I agree with these things or not? So I started writing them all down I just wrote everything down and I went back and I was like, let me be a humble student of like this advice Because i'm 30 so I don't know everything and if I talk to somebody that's been through xyz I'll write it all down and i'll go back and i'll say let me be like a student of this information Because I don't know what I don't know um

And so I have to rely on my gut to a certain extent. But on the other side of that, it's like let people with more life experience than you or who are specialists in certain areas, um, talk to them therapists. It's like, okay, write it down. So I love like that right now of just like, you don't know everything and you're not bitter and just everyone wants to make like the best decision moving forward. You know what I mean? I love that. Um, the second one's don't be angry. When I posted on my story, um,

a photo of Graham and I's phone call and it was like an hour or something. I posted that because I was so proud that Graham and I have this unique ability right now to, we're not fighting. We are conversing about moving forward. That's, that's all of our dialogues. And I'll find too, like, so, so I posted that and somebody very close to me sent it to me and was like, this isn't like what on earth? And I was like, no, no,

No, like, and typically what that would have done is make me angry. And I'd like, these people can't tell me what to do. Like, why are they telling me what to do? My favorite story is way back when all this started, I was telling people and somebody sent me a text that was like, you need to do X, Y, and Z. And I read it and I just started bawling. And I ran into the kitchen with Graham and I read it to him. And I said, this person's telling me I have to do these things. Like I had read it and thought I, I was like, and now I'm going to have to do them. And I don't want to.

And I said, when do I get to just grow up and be an adult? And he just looked at me and smirked and he said, whatever day you pick. Like, and I was like, what? And he's like, whatever, whatever day you pick. You want to do it right now? Do you want to pick tomorrow? And I was like, I have the option. And he was like, you, he's like, Alex, you missed the part of life where you can get these text messages and phone calls and you can just read them and say, oh yeah, okay. And then you can move on. But I was like, well,

Like I had just missed that whole entire. And so he was like, don't be, don't be mad. Like everyone, I don't need to babysit people right now and their emotions and things, but everyone is, they can say what they want and you can like kindly receive that. And I was like, okay, thank you. So just the anger is like,

Listen, I'll be angry one day. I'll be angry that this happened to me. I know I will. Like I'm sure at least. I hope I'm not. But it's like right now just we can live free of people's opinions of me, good or bad. Like I can just kind of say, okay. The third one is like life is yours for the taking. I often think about and I'll tie that in with number four, which is like don't worry about what people think, but like truly don't. So we probably say that often.

What I've had to do is get really silent with myself and like I'm meditating again and I'll say, all right, what feels right just for today? What's true? What is truly true to Alex? Not what's true to my traditions. I was taught what's true to Alex. Is that going to make some people mad? Of course it is. But at the end of the day, at the end of life, how whatever you believe happens at that point, it's you. And if you've got a form of a spirit, if you've got a God, whatever it is,

Becky's not there with you, right? Mom and dad aren't there. Your best friend, they're not there. It's just you and that person. And I don't want to look back and say, I made some moves for some people because I was worried what they thought. It's like you, at a certain point, have to say, I'm going to do this for me and Graham's going to do what's best for him and whatever that ends up being. Like one day...

We're in the middle of it, right? You know, we're just in the middle of like a hard time right now, but it's like really being able to get silent and say like, we want to make the best decision for us for, let me emphasize us is so easy to say, right? Like make the best decision for you guys. But it's so hard to do that when you have so many outside opinions.

Um, and so really just being able to say, and I think it goes to a job too. If you're like, I really want to be something in your parents, like you'll be a lawyer or a doctor or you will, you will not be a content creator, but you're like, I want to do it like to really release yourself and do it. Cause in five years, I don't think you want to look back and think, no, I knew the path, but I didn't take it. And so I think that's, that's my, I think it's important. Um, and I think it's important to share it because, um,

Like when you and I go through something, I think our favorite episodes are the ones where we're just like honest. And so that's that's kind of all like I'm I'm mentally and I feel like I'm on the outside looking at me. I think I'm a bit more mentally shot than I ever like let on. And so I think this is like the week of feeling sort of. And I'm sure it gets worse. But that's like that's the best I can do.

I'm proud of you. Thank you. I love you. I know you do. I love you too. And I know the people listening love you and are so appreciative of how honest and vulnerable you're being because there's a lot of people going through similar things to you and they're like, I'm not alone anymore. Yeah. Yeah. And I think like, I just, I just think it's, Oh, somewhere along the way I was like, we don't really need to have like hard times necessarily. And it's like, no, you know, you can.

And you will your rest of your life. Oh my gosh. It's just like, and it's not like we don't need to have hard times, but it's like in a weird way. I feel like I picked this. Does that make sense? Like we probably could have kept going how we were, but I, I know in five years that ends badly. So sometimes I'm like, it doesn't have to be like this right now, but in five years it would be worse because we were, we were really, uh,

Graham wants to be in Oklahoma. I want to be in New York. That's a very loose way of putting all the other things that one day we'll get into. But it's like, I also could have just probably like done that. Or he could have, sometimes he says, I could have just done the New York thing. And it's like, and I could have done the Oklahoma thing. We could have done that. But I think we want more for each other and we love each other. The basis is we love each other so much that we're willing to say, let's make this really uncomfortable and let's figure it out. And yeah,

And I'm very proud of us. Like there's times where I'll be, I've cried so much this week, but it's like, there's times where I'm crying out of truly like looking at him and I and saying, I never thought we had that in us. And I'm so happy to know we had that in us to like tear it all, like deconstruct to reconstruct. And it's like, that is so important and like vulnerable and probably highly untraditional. But I also say like, I'm getting, I'm getting a bit stubborn in the fact of like,

Although I'm sad and all of these things, I want to make it also clear of like I wouldn't have it any other way. And I'm getting very like stubborn. It's not the right word, but very particular and like, no, no, no. We picked this. We're doing it our way. And I want to hear, as I said, I want to be the humble student. But I also am like I'm not going to waver off my path because I didn't come this far to like waver off of it now, if that makes sense.

Makes total sense. Mean girl is sponsored by better help. Sometimes we're faced with a crossroad in life and we don't know which path to take. Jordan and I talk about this all the time. We are huge proponents of therapy and it helps us in, I mean, countless ways throughout our life. So maybe you're thinking about a career change or feeling like your relationship needs some TLC, whatever it is, therapy can help you map out your future and trust yourself to find your path forward. Um,

I will say this like lately because I obviously talked about how I'm going through things. I have would not be able to manage all this without my therapist. And I know you feel the exact same way through so many things like coping skills, feeling OK about the choices you're making. Therapy is like huge to Jordan and I. So this this ad reads always means a lot. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited for your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and you get matched with a licensed therapist and you can change at any time with no additional charge. Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash mean girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash mean girl. Okay, that's all I have on that. Thank you. Well, thank you for sharing. You're welcome.

Now, how do we transition? I know. So and so where do we go from that? You guys might be like, why isn't Jordan saying anything? Jordan lives it with me all day, every day. And I was like, let me just like get that part out. And so that's I just wanted to tell you guys that because I mean, it's obviously going on. So like there. So there is nothing worse than someone trying to tell you their feelings and yours interrupt the whole time. Right. No, I know. I appreciate that. You just let me kind of get through that. Someone asked me the other day. They were like,

I can't remember exactly what their question is, but they were kind of like, what makes you guys different than other shows? And I was like, honestly, I think one of the biggest things is we don't interrupt. Right. And we've been living that way. I mean, that was our first rule when we made this show. Well, I can't listen to things when it's like, they're talking to each other. I'm like, what did you both just say? I turn it off. Yeah. Or if there's a guest on and someone, they interrupt the guests. I'm like,

I'm like, I'm out. It's awful. It's like nails on a chalkboard. It's like I would rather have an awkward silence than I would have an overlap. Yeah, same. Do you want to talk about the text I got? Yes. Okay.

I know some people are going to listen. They're going to be like, that is just so insensitive going from that to this. Well, you know what? Let me tell you what, guys. If you think at this point you can send a comment that's going to affect me. No, ma'am. Fuck so far off because you can't. At this current stage of my life, I'm like, send them. Oh, my God. I love that. Okay. So...

Last week, a very close friend of mine was like, I have a guy who would love to take you out. He's a friend of mine. He's great. And I was like, okay. I'm very open to meeting new people, even if it doesn't go anywhere. I still love to go out and meet people. So...

He was pretty, I mean, I told you the whole story. He was pretty persistent to the friend to go out with me. I mean, he hung out with the friend. He asked the friend pretty much for my number, like followed up with the friend. Like he seemed like very eager. I think he even had a friend, his friend text your friend. Yeah. I get a friend reach out. So I was like, okay, so this, this, I was like, this guy really wants to take me on a date. I was, I was,

I was like, this is amazing. Like anytime you feel wanted, you you're like, yes. Well, and there was an aspect there where he had to put his ego aside and say like, I'm going to, cause some guys are not going to have his friend reach out because rejection could very much so be hitting you in the face. Yeah. And some guys won't even ask the friend to take, I mean, they might be like, I don't even want to put my ego out there or be vulnerable. Even ask her to take Jordan out. Yeah. Um, so he finally got my number and we were texting and,

And this is kind of where mature Jordan has woken up and become a new person when it comes to dating. I think it's very clear to the listeners and everyone in my life. I have dated some pretty bad people. Some bad boys out there. What do people call them? Bad eggs. Bad eggs. Bad eggs. Not your eggs. They're just not your eggs. They're someone's eggs. Mm-hmm.

um people used to say my my therapist used to always say my picker was is broken yes but I feel like over the past few months um I've really like even she's told me she's like you're really becoming like you're turning into this person where you're more secure you know how to date you're picking the right people she's like I think your picker is fixed and I feel like over the past couple months I've dated some really great men who have really opened my eyes to like

there's good people out there, but that also has to do with me finally, like knowing my worth and like knowing what I deserve and not taking shit from people. And, um,

Something I've really learned with dating is like the intention to date because there's a lot of people on dating apps where they're going on there for their ego. They're going on there to fuck around to get laid or just to like make friends or have a good time. And then there's a few few 1% of people who actually have the intention of wanting relationship. And can we preface if you are on there for either reason, there's no right or wrong. Yeah. Just know your type. Be honest and look for the one that matches you. Exactly. And if someone asks you why what your intention is,

Be honest. Yeah. If you're like, I'm just trying to date like seven people at once. Great. Yeah. And I've asked that question and guys have said it to me and I'm like, I'm so appreciative of you that you told me that. Thank you. Yeah. Cause we're, cause what would we do? Waste each other's time. Yeah. Cause I've been that person who's gone on dates for my ego sake to just have sex, to just have fun. But like now I'm dating with intention. Yeah. And have your moment and then, then move on. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, I was texting this guy and he,

The text. And some people are going to listen to this and be like, you're being so dramatic. And I'm like, well, you know what? I don't think so. So he was texting me and he was like, and this was on a Tuesday, I believe. And he was like, what's your weekend plan? And I was like, my parents are coming to the city. I'm busy that week. And he was talking about and he was like,

He just made a joke about he's like I probably should meet the parents and I was like oh that's that's funny and I was but then I was like wow meet the parents before our first date like I was kind of feeding him the opportunity to ask me on a first date. So I thought I then I went to bed and I woke up the next day and I really thought that I was gonna have a text that was like well when can I take you out so I can meet your parents. I mean you said you set him up like you gave him the set he did not hit the spike. I gave him the key to the castle. Yeah. And his response he said something as a joke and then his response was

Have fun with your parents. I'll catch up with you after they leave. And immediately I got like this sense of anxiety because I felt like I was brought back to my old stages with these guys who never had intentions of actually dating me. And old Jordan would have been like, okay, I'll just make sure I'm free all next week just to see when he'll want to make plans. I won't make plans with anyone else. Old Jordan would have done that. No. Yes. Okay. Great for you to admit that. Yes. Oh my God. I

Back in Minnesota, guys would be like, maybe Thursday would work. I would sit on my couch with my hair and makeup done for hours waiting for them to text me. No. Yes. I'm so happy you said that because I bet a lot of people listening do the same thing. Oh yeah, Taylor Swift, I love Taylor Swift now, has a song where she's like, something about like the, I think it's the Foolish one where she's like, won't make plans or like, I'll cancel all my plans hoping that you'll call.

I'm like, I did that. Wow. Yeah. I would literally like be like, I'm busy all weekend because I'm like, maybe he'll text me and want to like spontaneously hang out and I have to be available. Um, it's, that was like when I was in my early twenties, still kind of like that when I moved to New York, I would just make sure I was free like the whole week. Um, but when this guy said that, I was like, no, I'm so proud of you. I didn't know you did that. Oh yeah. I mean, I've done it all. Like I've

I've had like the worst habits with dating. But good for you though. Like this is growth. Okay, cool. Yeah. So then when he texted me that I was like, no, you, you, you ask me what I'm doing next week now because when my parents leave on Sunday, you better believe I will know what I'm doing probably Monday through Thursday.

And I have, like I said, I've dated some great people recently. I got on dates with some great people recently where I've had a guy, he knew I was gone for two weeks and he still asked me what I was doing when I got back. And then that moment I was like, his intention is not to actually...

date me to see where this goes his intention is like when I'm when I'm free I'll reach out to her and and for some and that's just that's just not where you are exactly and that's fine for him like that if that's what he want that's great but like I can tell that's a little bit of avoidant he doesn't really want something and I'm like I'm in a secure place right now I'm looking for my future person and I've had people who like

the month, like the week before be like, okay, I know you're busy. When can I see you? Because these people have the right intention to be dating me. Correct. And then you get to, and then you've achieved that piece. So I think it's really important that you hold onto it. Yeah. So it's, it's hard to like figure out people's intentions, but I think that's like the most important thing is like, I know some people read that and they're, and they'll be like, you're being dramatic, but I'm like, no, cause I've been around the block a lot. Well, well,

Well, that might be, that's fine if they think you're being dramatic, but like that's your truth. And you said you felt, I think the most important thing you said was you felt anxiety when you read it. And one thing I realized is your body won't lie to you. Never. Like if you really get still, you're like, I'll think of these scenarios and I'll get anxious thinking of some of them. I'm like, okay, that's a sign. Your body's saying, no, we don't like this. And no one can tell you what your body thinks. Nope. Only you. Exactly. So good. Okay. Good for you. I like that. Yeah.

So hopefully if anyone's single out there and they're, and they're like, this guy just won't make a plan with me or he never asked me to hang out. It's like, you guys are on different pages. His intentions aren't in the right place. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. He's just not your guy. Yeah. And if you don't get anxious, if you get anxious when they do make plans, pay attention to that too. Yeah. Oh,

Your anxiety will tell you so much about a person. How charged are you on that phone over there? I'm at 95%. Would you like the charger? I would love it. And it's a power charger. It's a power charger too. So I left my charger at home and I had, I got one from the hotel last night and they, I had to sign it out. I have to sign it back in when I leave. Wait, what? Yeah. I signed it out. Like I rented a library book.

isn't that cool and then like i was glad they didn't charge me for it i was like i would rather sign it out but then i'm like we're going to nashville next and then like we're going to montauk so i'm really gonna be chargerless um sorry i don't mean to ignore what you just said but i just realized i sent our listener question to our male producer but it's a it's a funny one i was just like whoopsie sorry nick he goes men with their real names actually since this stuff debuff

yes nick they deal with their real names y'all are lucky well how about this keep sending us this stuff because we would never put you on blast ever but we love these messages i i it's anonymous like yeah we would never say your name um unless you send us a hate message and we will blast you with your name oh yeah and tag you all day every day tag your mom if we can find her too we sure will and say who raised this man

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Hotel paying or chemistry compatibility next. I'm nervous about Joey's exclusive tell all with page six. Tell them what all. What is the options? So it's boy on a train. How close are you with your mom? The hotel paying comment. And then chemistry versus compatibility. Well, I'll just tell a quick little story about the boy. How close are you with your mom? Okay. I didn't realize what that was. And now I know what that is. I typed that. We have the shared notes still. So I was in Montauk.

This is what I love, actually, about Jordan and I's relationship was we went to Montauk, a.k.a. the Hamptons, and we were going for two nights. I feel like you're... Okay, you're in the screen. Yeah, I was... I'll say I feel like you're very off of it. We went to the Hamptons and...

we woke okay so we went friday we went out friday night and then we woke up saturday morning and had two workout classes back to back and i stayed out till 4 30 a.m friday and jordan was like i'm going home like i'm leaving today the social anxiety hit so hard i couldn't breathe she was like i'm literally like i'm leaving and the girls we were with were like what and i was like no i'm telling you what that she's gonna leave and when she and she did it she called an uber and like left after the second workout class

But I just love that you and I could do that. Like traveling with somebody knowing you've got zero expectations and you don't have to like worry about their feelings is the most freeing feeling in the world. Oh my God. It... Because if I would have stayed, I would have been a shelving human. And you would have only stayed for what? Me? Yeah. Because you thought I wanted you to. It's like, what did you want to do? Leave. You just left. And I slept...

All the whole train ride home. I slept when I got home. I was just dead. And I needed to be home for myself. And it was great. It was great. Okay, so now we'll do the hotel payment. So this is what I think people need. Wait, what does that do with your mom thing? It doesn't. It's just... I was in Montauk when the mom thing came up. And now I'm on that train. And so I'm just... My ADD's kicked in. I'm back. I'm out of my pity party. She's back. I'm back. It just takes me a second to snap out of it. So this was...

So I figured you were like this. I knew we were on the same page, I thought. But when I saw the Venmo come through, I was like, damn. I was like, I think I'm going to have to explain this to her when I see her. In a good way? No, I thought you Venmo'd me half the price. Oh. And I was like, oh, like, we're going to have to have a talk about that. Wait, I didn't, did I? No, you didn't. Okay. So what happened was we had all agreed on a price for the hotel, everyone for two nights. Let's call it $300. But Jordan left the night early.

I thought everyone knew, but I don't think some people know this, that you still have to pay for both nights. Yeah, because I committed to that. And everyone organized the price around it. Mm-hmm.

Then there were some girls that were there for one night, so they were Venmoing me. Everyone was Venmoing me at the same time. So I saw a 150 come through. Oh, because the other girl has my name. Yes, and it's your exact spelling. And I was like, damn it. Like, I did not want to have to go through this. So I called one of my friends really quickly, and I was like...

How do you view this? And he was like, I view it how you view it, Alex. Like she should, she's got to pay for the whole night. But he's like, it's just the worst. Like I've been in that situation a couple of times. They have to explain it to you. You better confirm with him that I paid the right amount. Oh, I did. I did. I did. It was, it was Joey. But I was like, um, I was like, I was like, just fact check me really quickly here. And he was like, yes, agreed.

And then I was like, I'm just shocked. So I texted Jordan. I was like, did you pay me 150 for the room? She was like, no, but the girl spells it J O R D Y. And that's why I got confused. I was like, why did I, I swear to God, I saw that. But I was like, we should talk about that because some people would say, no, I want it. Or like if you're going on a bachelorette party and you commit for all of it, and then you end up having to leave early, you don't get your money back. No, because first of all, I committed beforehand. I said, I will be there two nights. Second of all,

I chose to leave. That's not your guys' fault that I wanted to leave. You guys shouldn't have to pay for my reasons to leave. That's not fair to you. Oh, by the way, now you guys have to pay an extra $150 because I couldn't handle another night there. In what world? Right. So I was like, immediately, I was like, why would I not pay for both nights? I committed for both nights. I know. I just, I think that we should give the PSA out there.

But I totally agree. I don't know anyone really besides a couple people in my life that would pay for both nights. They'd be like, well, I left. I'm like, that's not on me because you wanted to leave. No, that's not fair. If you don't have, I'm down for like a week's notice of, hey guys, I'm going to have to leave early. I will pay. You have to offer. But if you guys could divide it or try to invite somebody else in my spot to like compensate the cost, I think most people will be pretty normal about that. If you give them a five hour heads up,

You have to pay Oh my god And like And there's just so many Other girls involved Like that would suck Being like Hey Allegra and Alex And then these two girls I've never met You're welcome Pay mine Yeah divide 150 Amongst the four of you Yeah no No I just I liked that story I was so When I saw it come through I was like no way No way

I was like, there's no way. And did you even think I would do that? I was, when I called, I was like, hold on, am I wrong? Because I'm pretty sure we'll be on the same page and we weren't. It was great. It was just the best. When did you find out that I was telling the truth? Or not telling the truth, but when you were like, oh, wait. That's when I texted you. Oh. Immediately. You checked the memo, right? Yeah, I went back and checked it afterwards. But right when I saw it come through, I was like, J-O-R-D-Y-N, just paid you $150. And so I was like,

Shit and she left early. I was like, she doesn't know we got a bad old thing Well, and then when you texted me that I thought your text was like why did you pay me the full price? I was like, what's Alex? What are you talking about? Of course? I'll pay the full I was so confused. I was like, okay, it's this felt yeah for I'm not selling. Yep Okay, so anyways in so in when we were in the Hamptons I was sitting up on this wall with these two girls that were beside me and we just struck up a conversation and

She was lovely and she was like I'm 33 and single like what do you think of all these boys that are out here and I was like okay this is fun who's the one that you think is the cutest was I not was I not here for this one no this is you had left okay and so I was like well which one do you think is cute she points at this guy and he was objectively speaking he was very cute so I was like raised my hand and I was like excuse me because he was making eye contact with both of us.

And I was like, are you nice? And he was like, yeah, I'm nice. And we're like, all right, because you kind of have to call him over to the table. So I was like, come over here. And I was like, all right, what's your second question? He says he's nice. She goes, how close are you with your mom? And I said, phenomenal question. She was like, yeah, because you know the saying. And I was like, yeah, how boys treat their mom tells you everything about how they're going to treat you. So he pulls up his text messages. Whoa. And I was like, OK, cute. Like he's going to show us that he talks to his mom.

I asked him how old he was. He was 31. Okay. And he's reading us now, his text messages with his mother, who's like, make sure to wash your sheets. And we were like, no, no. And then the mom was like sending him photos of girls and was like, you should go on a date with her. Like, and he was sending him one back being like, I went on a date with her. And then she was like, your dad says like, watch your credit card numbers. Like we don't want fraud. And I mean, we don't want fraud. We, and so immediately the girl and I were like, okay, it was really nice to meet you, Brandon. Yeah.

We're going to talk to you later. And he walks off and she looks at me and she was like, no, I know. Like, that's why you asked that question, because he might be like, I'm not very close with her. He might be like, yeah, I love my mom. Or he might be like, my mom still tells me to wash my sheets. That is a my new question. Oh, my God. Was that not the best question in the world? She's like, I always ask guys that tells you everything, you know, right off the bat. And I was like, sure does. Oh, my God. Is that a hilarious question?

What is this man thinking about thinking that it's okay to tell you guys these things? He was so proud of it too. Oh no. So that's when I said, hold on, how old are you? And then he was like 31. And I was like, what? No.

oh geez the fact that a 31 year old's doing that i know i was like that's real close with mom the we can't get credit card fraud is really throwing me through a loop that's like mom still comes to get your laundry like you know you still share a credit card with your parents and does it i was like dang yeah isn't that silly oh my god that is that's a hoot um okay so i have a

What do you think is more important in a relationship? Chemistry or compatibility? Because I was listening to something and they were talking about it and they picked the one that I have to disagree with. But I want to see your answer first. Okay. I think they are... I think it's situational, number one. But I'm not going to go there. I'm going to go here. I think compatibility gets you in the door with someone. No. I think chemistry...

gets you maybe gets your attention I think for the first date I think compatibility takes you to a special place where you're like okay we can we are compatible we can make it and then I think chemistry comes back into play and takes you over the finish line and I but I think they're of almost equal importance but you I think you can have all chemistry and

and not that much compatibility and survive. I don't know that you can have all compatibility and chemistry and really live like a lovely flourishing life. So you're going to answer my question, which one's more important? I think it's 60, 40 debatably. I just need you to tell me which one's more important. I hold on. You can't wait. So I'm going to, I'm going to answer it with, you cannot live without you. I'm going to say this. You can't live without chemistry. True or false. Hold on. You can't live without chemistry. Oh, well I think you can.

I'm not asking what you can live with. I'm saying what's more important in a relationship. But whichever one I can't live without, I'm going to call more important. Okay. I'm arguing both sides equally right now in my head. Okay. Well, so the people were saying, they were saying that compatibility is...

more important and I don't disagree or agree with that I'm with you on this I think they're both like very important but I was thinking a lot about it and now in my lifetime I have been able to be compatible with a lot of human beings a lot of guys have been like wait no we're very compatible we could be best friends but there's not that many men that I've had chemistry with as well as compatibility like I feel like chemistry is just more rare to find but I think you definitely need both like I couldn't date someone where like

Our chemistry was off the charts, but like he wanted to hike and live in the mountains and camp and like in no world would that work. But I also couldn't date someone who I was like, I can't even touch you because we have no chemistry. Right. So they're both important. But I was just thought it was interesting where they were like, compatibility is fully more important than chemistry. I was like, what? I can be compatible with my best friend. Yeah. And that works.

Yeah. I want to be compatible with roommates in college. Yeah. But I think you want chemistry. Are they talking a romantic relationship? Yeah. Okay. Okay. If we have to pick one. Okay. Compatibility to me just seems so boring in this scenario to pick for the rest of your life. So I, I think if I'm advising a child, I would say you go for compatibility all day long. You will get, you will live a good life and everything. It seems like a safe spot.

If I'm advising myself, I know what I'm going to say. I'm like, fuck it up. Get the chemistry like that. You know what I mean? Like it's, it feels a little less safe to pick that one. I think compatibility gets you through life and things like that. But I think, yeah, they, yeah. It's really good one though. I mean, that's tough. Yeah. Cause I just think like when I've been like dating people, all the guys I've been, I've gone on dates with in the past six months or in 2023, I've, I've definitely found compatibility with, and, but it's like the chemistry that's,

is what's gonna set them apart at the end of the day and I remember I dated a guy a few months ago and our compatibility was off the charts like I was like I have so much fun with him ah and like we have so much in common but there was no chemistry to save a life and I remember when we ended things I was like I like really do want to be your friend still because I was like we're so compatible but like I could never date him for the rest of my life I was like I don't even really want to hold your hand right

So it was really eyeopening where I was like, okay, chemistry is what I can be. Let's say there's five guys. I can be compatible with all of them, but the chemistry is what's going to set them apart. I agree with that. And now I'm starting to think too longterm wise, if you're so compatible with someone, I think over time, um,

That can form chemistry. Yeah. Maybe. I don't think chemistry can turn into compatibility. Which is why it's a little bit more dangerous. Yeah. And I think too. Like you won't necessarily find chemistry with people. Within like the first few days. I think chemistry sometimes takes a month or so to build. Because you need to get comfortable. But like.

I don't think like it will form in a year or six years if you're necessarily dating someone. Right. I think I do think though, if you're like, I've fallen so in love with them because they do X, Y, Z due to compatibility. Now we've got chemistry. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not so sure it could work the other way. Yeah. It's so interesting. I mean, you could just toss it back and forth all day long. Like I'm thinking of couples right now that I know. And I'm like, oh, they're compatible. Oh, they got chemistry. Oh, they're compatible. You know what I mean? I'm going back and forth. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm like, huh? Not a lot where you can be like, they're 50-50. Yeah, they're a little bit of both. I do actually think my parents are both. Okay. I do think they're very compatible and I do see a lot of chemistry, which is interesting. I'm trying to think of other people though. Yeah. I know a lot of compatible couples. Yeah. My best friend and her boyfriend, I would say, are equally compatible and have incredible chemistry. I mean, they have so much fun together and their chemistry is off the charts.

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And use code 50MEAN, that's 5-0-M-E-A-N, for 50% off plus free shipping. That's a heck of a discount. Enjoy. Also, something that we need to talk about that isn't talked about enough. Ooh. And we've maybe spoken about it a long time ago, but it's how making out with guys destroys your skin. Oh, yeah. You've been on this. So, I am in my late 20s, so a lot of guys have facial hair. Uh-huh. And...

The five o'clock shadow will be the death of me. Is it breaking you out? You don't look broken out. Well, it's been a while since I've... And I know for you, one pimple is like your face is broken out. It's not broken out. It's... I get like a rug burn because it's constantly rubbing and I have the world's most sensitive skin. And...

Like a week ago, I looked like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I had a patch that was a legit rug burn on my face because the guy I was making out with had scruff, five o'clock shadow, like a light facial hair. And I'm like, I think now my face is a catalyst, so I'll be good going forward. No, I won't be. Well, I do think it happens multiple times. I remember in college, I would hear my friends talk about the same thing. In fact, they were making out with somebody with facial hair.

And they would get like for real battle wounds. I literally looked in the mirror the next day and I was like, in what world am I supposed to put up with this? Well, and I don't know. This is what I wondered though. In these kinds of scenarios, like,

Because I think there's certain I do think there's You know how there's like a pH balance thing Yeah I believe there's an oil thing Oh that would be Or even if they have weird If they put like products On their face Yeah I think that exists on faces too So like there are probably guys With scruff that you can make out With that won't break you out But these guys I'm like You can't not know about this In like your later 20s Like the guy I'm like

shave it a bit. I mean, sometimes guys like can't like, it's like they shave in five seconds later, the hair comes back. That's true. And that's, that's just not their fault. Even if they want to have a beard, it's like, you can still have your beard, but like you're on the receiving end of like, my face is getting messed up. Well, I remember I, I've told this story multiple times, but the, the Canadian guy that I hooked up with like a year ago, I mean, I had a full blown,

like rash irritation break out my face from his and one of my friends like that's the universe telling you you guys are not compatible that is what that is now this guy I'm not gonna say we're not compatible but we're gonna pivot to make this guy compatible till he's not right yes but we I think my fate because it was more of like this was just like a true rug burn

And that's going to happen. Like, I think that's fair. But like the Canadian guy, I was like, do I have like a bacteria infection on my face? It was so bad. I got rid of it really quickly. But like someone was like, that's the universe telling you that your pHs do not mix. But I'm like, no one talks about how men just destroy women's skin. That's so like, that's so not senile. Like men don't destroy women's skin. Yes, they do.

do they men have men have the ability to have scruff on their face which could make you break out no you're saying like the gender of men are out here to like destroy the faces of females the five o'clock shadow is destroying the woman's face the five o'clock shadow could be detrimental to a certain woman's face I wish you would have seen me Alex you would have been like I've never seen your skin in such bad shape I know but I can't even with the blanket statement of men destroy women's faces but

But no one talks about it. I mean, I think your skin gets used to it, but I think every girl who goes, who's in a new relationship is like, oh, like, my

my eyelash extensions fall out more do they and that's not me saying i'm in a new relationship i'm not i'm just saying like every girl that i should have said period moved on period capital letter at the beginning of this new sentence but and then the new sentence is yeah it's like my skin is worse my eyelashes are falling out i'm just like my lips are chapped i'm like this is not how i hate guys but not it's not it's not them i'll get used to my face just isn't used to like

I do think, I do think your face can adjust to things. A thousand percent. Yeah. Cause I remember when my boyfriend of five years in the beginning, I was just like, Oh God. And then after like a few months, my face was like, okay, this is normal. Yeah. It gets you. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very true. Um,

Men destroy or men's five o'clock shadows destroy women's faces. No, I can't. She's suggesting a title with that. I won't allow that to go down. The five o'clock shadow. Want to do our listener question? Yes, I do. I would like to mentally tap out of this in the near future. Alex doesn't want to do this anymore. Alex, I love doing it, but my shelf life these days. The one we've all been waiting for. Mm-hmm.

Okay, Mean Girls, I think it's time that we hear your take on the final frontier, the butt. Are we into it or not? Is it just for porn stars or real-world peeps like us? My wife of 10 years lets me tickle it a bit, but I don't think she's comfortable admitting she actually enjoys it. So please, share your thoughts. The amount of questions we've had around butt stuff and anal is off the charts, and I think people will be very happy we're finally answering this question.

Is the answer not like, do your thing, 21? Like, whatever you want. I don't understand why there's so much shame around the butt. But if it feels like... Correct me if this is so off base. If it feels good, proceed. If it feels good for both of you, proceed. Or if one of you wants... I guess like if he wants to try it and she's down, okay, try it. And then if she's into it, be like, I was into that. Yeah, and butt stuff doesn't have to mean anal. There's a lot of butt stuff you can do that doesn't require...

Full-blown anal. And I would think if it's possible for the human body to achieve it, that it's probably allowed. Yeah. Like, it's probably okay to try. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I mean, I've dated guys in my past...

who are open to it, guys who hate it. And it's like to each their own. And I've, if they're open to it, it's like, let's give it a shot. If they're not, I'm always like, cool, whatever, whatever you're comfortable with, especially 10 years marriage. Yeah. And if she is kind of enjoying it, I think he should, Oh, let's take, what's our girl's name? Emily Morris. Yes. Her advice I think is fabulous in this scenario. Have the conversation outside the bedroom. Mm-hmm.

At like when you're not when you're in a fight or anything, but breakfast one day on like a happy Saturday morning and be like, hey, sometimes I like go into the butt area. And I think you kind of enjoy it. Am I right? Yeah. And like if you are wanting to have that conversation, there's so many ways to like ease into it. And you don't have to go full throttle right off the bat.

And take that, you know, too. You could also ease into it. Don't have to go full throttle right off the bat. I just like what you said, though. If it feels good, why not? If it feels good and you guys both want it, why not? Like, can you think of one thing that you can do, butt stuff, like 69, you name it, that's bad? Like, that's bad. That's like shame. That's worth shaming. No. No.

I love sex and everything that comes along with it. I'm trying to think of like one thing right now that the human body was made possible to do with another human body that I'm trying to think of that I would be like, oh yeah, don't do that if it feels good. I'm trying to like really think of that. I don't think there is anything that, no, I don't think so. I think the limit does not exist for a reason. The limit does not exist as Lindsay Lohan and Aaron What's-His-Face would say mean girls. Is that what they said? The limit does not exist? Yes.

The Limit Does Not Exist. Oh, wait. In the math class. The math competition. It's The Limit Does Not Exist. The Limit Does Not Exist. Yes. And then they won. Yeah, yeah. Cute. Aaron Samuels. Actually, that's his name. Yes. Don't come for me. I remember his name. I didn't, but you're correct. Okay, well...

I think that's a good way to end the app. Don't you think? I love a 51 minute episode. Me too. Um, okay. We do want to do what you do best. Yeah, guys like comment, subscribe, follow us on Tik TOK, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, uh, subscribe to the YouTube channel. Leave us a five star review and send us listener questions because we will not blow up your spot and say your name ever. We love you guys. Bye.