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When I drink, I'm like, what's this? What's social anxiety? There's no one around. I love him. The amount of times you'll text me at night about your date, be like, we're literally going to the altar to get married next morning. I was fine. I don't know what that was. Like, wait, what? We're your besties in your ear for another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I'm by myself. I'm by myself.
where are you alex charlottesville north no virginia i always do that i'm in virginia i always think you're in north carolina too because charlottesville reminds me of charlotte north carolina well and for the past two months i've been telling you i'm going north carolina that too so you're in virginia i'm in virginia have you been here i think i've driven through it but i haven't stopped in virginia
I it is. There are not words. I was driving yesterday and a girl on equestrian, like in a real life equestrian outfit on a real life horse. I just had to stop and she just crossed the road. Like, is it pretty? Oh, it's it is breathtaking. I'll try to send you pictures, but it won't do it justice. It's breathtaking.
Okay, because when you said that, I was like, are you in, like, back in the 1940s? Like, what's going on? Apparently, so apparently there are more. So I'm doing, like, two things right now. My mom's here for a doctor's appointment, but I'm also just, like, doing a little social media, you know, a little phone step back, detox. Yeah. And I was talking to the doctor yesterday, and he was like,
She was like, there are so many billionaires that live here. And I was like, what? And she was like, you just wouldn't. There's 400 restaurants and 12 of them are Michelin stars. What? It's like a huge. It's not huge, but you're like close to D.C. and you're close to Richmond, Virginia. And it's just like this beautiful rolling hills. I'm staying in. I can't. I don't even know where I'm at. I didn't even know this existed on a map.
I mean, that's more than in New York City. Well, that's a lie, but you know what I mean? Like, right. Wow. Okay. Maybe I'll go to Virginia just for the food. They have mountains there, right? Oh, I'm looking at these rolling green hills. And also there's so many vineyards paired with horseback riding. Shut up. Yeah. It's like, there's like so many Montecito, Monticello that's here.
Beats me. I was like, I don't know what that means. It's a vineyard. I don't know. I think like Thomas Jefferson. I don't know. I'll get like destroyed for this. But you love that.
Okay. Well, you know, maybe I'll take a vacation there sometime. I'll bring you. I can plan it. Okay. Amazing. Your hotel room looks fabulous. Like it looks like there's like French or what's that? What's it called? The French. Like the paneling, the woodwork, the crown molding. Yeah. The crown molding. I love crown molding. You would love this place.
I love that. Yeah, yeah. It's peaceful too. How are you? What are you doing? I miss you a lot. I miss you. I know. I feel like we spend so much time together over the past few weeks and I'm like, where are you? Let's talk about our favorite sponsor, Pink Love.
Whitney. You guys, Alex and I have been drinking Pink Whitney literally all summer long on our southern tour. It's been so much fun. We were in Nashville and Charleston last week and it was a blast shooting our shot with everyone, all the girls and guys who came up. We, I think we took a total of like 20 shots two days in a row and it's been so much fun.
It was so much fun. Next week, or actually tomorrow, Alex and I are going to be in...
Tampa. Alex and I are going to be in Tampa tomorrow and we're so excited. It's unfortunately our last stop on the Southern tour. Our last time just for this summer to shoot our shot with you guys in person, but we hope to have more dates coming soon. We hope to hang out with you guys. And in the meantime, you guys better be shooting your shot all summer. It's been shock girl summer and we
We hope you guys have been having the best time ever meeting us because we've been having so much fun hanging out with you guys all summer long. And not only do they just have shots of Pink Whitney, they now have the 1.75 liter bottle, which is even more Pink Whitney than you could ever want. I know that Alex and I both have that at our apartments and we love taking shots with our friends and drinking before we go out on the town. It's great for parties. It's great to drink with, like I said, all your friends, family.
And make sure every time you drink Pink Whitney, you're always shooting your shot. I know. No, I have to tell you a story about my weekend. I kind of told you, but I didn't really tell you. Do tell. Okay, so we always talk about this, but how with guys, it's truly the little things in life, the small things that mean so much to girls. And I don't understand why guys don't get that. But I went on...
The cutest date I've ever been on in my entire life. Well, okay. I mean, I think I know, but tell me. Yeah, yeah. Because Alex and I were in Charleston and then Nashville together. And then she went to the Hamptons. And I was like, I have to stay home because I have a date I have to go on on Saturday. And...
Okay, so I talked about this on TikTok and so many girls were like, how did you find this man? I'm like, if you went on my hinge, I've literally, I was doing the math. It's like I've matched with like 99 people. Out of those 99 in 2023, I think I've literally gone on six dates. From those six dates, I've gone on more than two dates with three people. And from those three people, I've gone on more than like four.
four dates. Like the math is actually crazy. It's truly numbers game when you're dating. And not everyone will go back and do the numbers. So good for you. I mean, you know, I love my numbers. Yeah. I was like, damn. But anyway, so this guy I'm talking to, he was like, okay, are you busy Saturday? And I was like, no, I'm free. I'm getting back from Nashville. I have nothing planned that weekend. And he was like, okay, you need to be ready by 2 45.
And I was like, your guy giving you a time. I know. And I was like, I have never been. I was like, so is this a surprise? Like, I'm not telling you anything. Just be ready by 245. And I was like, can you at least give me an outfit? And he was like, wear whatever you want. Just be ready by two. Well, not like he's like, wear what you would wear on every other date we've been on. Okay. Yeah.
And he was like, I will be at your apartment by 2.45 to pick you up or grab you or whatever. And I was like, okay. So he comes to my apartment. He gets me at 2.45 and we're going off on this date and I have no idea what we're doing. We're going on a ferry somewhere and I'm like, where in the world? Are we going to Governor's Island for the spa? I was like, what's happening? And we end up going to Red Hook, which is in Brooklyn.
Have you heard of it? No. Oh my God. You would love it. It's like this. It's like the end of Brooklyn. You can, you can drive if you want, but people take the ferry. Cause it's like a, a really short ferry ride from like Midtown East. Okay. And it is so cute. It's right on the water. It's very like, it reminds me kind of of like Minneapolis a little bit. Wait, is it a city? Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's like a little borough in Brooklyn. Okay, it's a borough, but it's not like a place. It's like we're describing like a city. Okay. It'd be like going to Dumbo. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, but I've never been there. So all of a sudden we're walking and we get to this like winery, vineyard. It's like a winery. He's like, we're going to do wine tasting. And I'm like, shut the front door. I was like,
You listen. What? I was like, wine is literally my favorite thing in the world, which he knows. Anyone who talks to me knows I love wine. So we did like this wine tasting thing, which I'll take you. It's so cute. Like they give you like six different wine tastings. It was like prepaid, all of this stuff. I mean, obviously he paid for it. He took me on the date. But like I was like, oh, I already put my card down before. Like he took care of everything.
And then we went to like dinner at this place in Red Hook. That was unbelievable. And then, yeah. Did he already know the dinner restaurant? Like when you guys left the vineyard, was he like, hey, we're going here to eat? Oh yeah. We had a set reservation. Oh, he's such a planner. Everything was timed. I remember looking down at my phone and you were like, he took me to a vineyard. And I was like, oh, okay.
What would you call it? A place that... Like a wine... Is it a winery, technically? Like, we're just like... I was just discussing this earlier today. I don't know the difference between a winery and a vineyard. I don't know if they're the same thing. I don't know. Oh, I'm sure one of them has grapes is the vineyard and the winery is just wine tasting. I think it was a winery because Red Hook has their own wine. So it was like all of this place is wine, but there wasn't like a...
a like a place of great like grapes where people were harvesting them you know what i mean okay so yeah let's let's do our let's do the mean girl way and just coin that a winery and vineyards have grapes yes we went to a winery and had wine did a wine tasting how was it was the wine good um okay i'll be honest like we both were like the wine wasn't like fabulous because you know how it is like when it's like a local this sounds so i'm like when it's local it's like not that great
But, like, I would go back for the experience. And the waitress was so nice, and she was so good at explaining everything. But, like, you know how it is. Like, obviously, at the end of the day, like, the Napa Sonomas, the Italian wines of the world are the best. Right. But that was so sweet of him to listen to what you love and then to, like, just find that and take you. I'm like, the fact that I'm 28, I'm like, girls, it's like –
Just keep waiting. Like you'll find a guy who listens eventually. And they give you butterflies and it's like so sweet because you feel so thought of. I literally was like, it is truly the little things. Like if the fact that it was a winery was so huge too, because like he listened that that's my favorite thing to do. If it was anything else, I would have had a great time, but I, it's not even that we went to a winery. It's like that he listened to what I had to say and like catered this date around my interests.
Yeah, like it made you feel special and heard and like kind of like he's not – he wasn't thinking so general of girl date. He was thinking like Jordan specific, which I think is so sweet. Yeah, and like for guys listening, you don't have to go do these extravagant like thousands of dollar dates. Like just listen to the basics of what a girl likes to do. A girl could literally be like, my favorite thing in the world is –
you could be like, okay, I'll take you mini golfing. Or even the type of food. Yeah, he could have simply... This was really nice of him, but...
A different but equal could be like getting three different types of wine, taking you to the park, being like, like doing something cute like that. You know, like just, just simply making you feel heard and special. Yeah. This. Okay. So I have, I have this on the, like our notes app. Yeah. Did you see where I put down first date, not a restaurant? Yes. I love that. So we were talking, I was talking to.
I don't remember who I was talking to. But I was like, what's your favorite way to get to know someone? Like if you're dating around. And they were like, you know, I love doing something outside for the first time, like a long walk, which I'm like, don't, I would fall over and start crying. But like somewhere where they were like, you remove all outside factors. For example, you said you had a great waiter, but if that was like your first date and you had a bad waiter, how much of an impact that makes?
Yeah. On the date. Like he was like, I love to remove all outside factors and it's just like us in nature, like the music, the vibe, the wait staff. Like if the food comes out, like all of that can be kind of like a vibe killer. And I was like, that's actually such a cool idea to get to know somebody outside of a restaurant round one. No, I love that. I love,
Someone asked me a question on my Instagram story when we were in Nashville and they're like, what's your favorite date idea? And I was like, going to the park, sitting there, bringing a bottle of wine or you don't have to drink even, but it just like eliminates all external factors. And it's just like you two.
Yeah, and you're not at, you don't have the waiter interrupting or like you, not that they're interrupting is bad, but it's just like, I was like, oh, because you used to assume first date, want to go to Happy Hour, want to go to a restaurant. And like you start to pick that and it's like, oh, it would be really cool to think outside the box. You know what I realized too? I think you need to do more dates where you're side by side instead of directly in front of each other because I feel like we're all conditioned that if you're directly in front of someone, you automatically go into interview mode. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Because, like, think about, like – well, think of all the dates. I think of all the dates that I go on, and I'm like, okay, when we're side-by-side at a bar, it feels more intimate, and it's easier conversation versus, like, on a first date when I'm directly in front of someone, I get so anxious and nervous because I'm like, this is an interview, like –
Like, I feel like I have to come up with all the conversation topics. It's just awkward. Have you, somebody told me this week and they're like, you're interviewing me. And I was like, I think you and I naturally default. You always do. We went to that group dinner. They were like, can you just stop interviewing us? And we were like,
No, not really. Or, okay, maybe group table. We can't stop interviewing you, but you guys have to think of questions that are better than ours. Well, remember we had Ryan Powell on the – or we were on Ryan Powell's podcast, and he's like, is this my podcast or your guys' because he's like, you're asking me more questions than I'm asking you. And we're like, sorry. You literally just said when we had Ryan Powell on our show. I know.
Or even like when Jared was on, it was like, we, I mean, it just like, we, we just ask all the questions. You know how few people ask questions?
uh, you know, I've talked about this forever. No guys do when I go on dates, but not like a lot of girls, like people in general, I realize like they don't, I don't, I've been realizing that lately because I think I've, I've just been in a situation where people have been telling me a lot and I'm like, it's so funny. Like no one defaults to curiosity. They just deep, like, you know, when someone's talking to you and in your head, you're already like rehearsing what you're going to say back. Yeah. Actively listening. Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's because I've been in a position of receiving feedback lately that I'm like, wait, no one's like pausing. Like you, I don't think anybody is hearing what people say these days, not these days, but sometimes I think we don't listen as much. We're all guilty of it too.
but like just listening and stop thinking about what you're saying and then pause and then like respond with like a question. Oh my God. I catch myself doing that all the time because I get so nervous that there's going to be awkward silence. So I'm constantly thinking of the next thing I'm going to say. And then I'm like, wait, what did that person say? Right. Like I didn't even hear it. Yeah. I went on a date with this guy a few weeks ago and he was like,
I don't remember. We were not. I did not say this in like a mean way. I can't remember exactly how it came out, but he was like,
He's like, sorry, I don't ask you questions. Like, I'm not used to talking this much on dates and answering this many questions. He's like, usually I'm on dates with girls and they are either just talking so much or not at all. And I was like, okay, so maybe it's just both sides these days. No, I think it is. I think it is. Because I definitely think that even applies to, like, girlfriends.
Yeah, no one asks people questions. I don't know if it's because people feel bad. Like, I'm nosy, and I love knowing things about people's lives and all. I have no boundaries with questions. I'm like, they can create these boundaries with me along the way, but I will ask you everything under the sun until you tell me not to. Right. Because I'm like, I like to get to know the person. No, I agree with that. And I think when you ask...
Do you think sometimes, okay, I was thinking about this this weekend. Sometimes, because Joey and I were in a situation this weekend where we knew no one. So we were starting from scratch with all the people we were around. But we were staying in a house with them. That's an entirely new, like, I've never done that. And I was kind of watching. And the more, there was this thing at first where nobody wanted to ask anybody questions. Almost from a situation of...
like help me verbalize this but it's not ego but it's like kind of who goes first sort of I know exactly what you're talking about because when we went to that workout class like two weekends ago in the Hamptons I felt like no one was actually talking to each other because and it's not like an ego thing it's almost like you don't know how to approach it because like everyone around you has like a
a large following and you, I think, I don't think people want to come off as like fangirl, but not in like a, like an ego way. Like sometimes even like a disrespectful way. It's just like a really weird situation. Yeah. It's a hard line. It's like a hard line to toe. And then, and then if somebody goes first, it's like you, you end up with a really beautiful, uh,
thing because everyone cultivates like relationships, but it's so funny at first, like you, so that workout class, well, first of all, you and I couldn't even, we didn't, everyone's takeaway from you and I from that workout class is that we don't speak. I've never been so hung over and anxious in my entire life.
If I was a fly on the wall watching us, this is why I give people passes. I'm like, if I saw you one time and you didn't talk at all, I got to see you again. Because I'm like, everyone that was at that class, their takeaway of Jordan and Alex is... They're mute. They don't speak to each other or anyone else. Actually, you know what it is? It's... I don't want to...
come off as disrespectful because you know how that happened to you one time when you were like ask this girl what her at was and someone was like never ask that again because like she had millions of followers yeah so it's like I don't want to go up to someone and be like hi who are you because I think sometimes like we're genuine about it we're like no actually like I want to know who you are but they might be like are you just saying that because like you don't want to give me the credit of not knowing who I am right it's just like such it can be such like a catty world it's like a room of a
together and it's like how would you not know who they are they founded this company or brand you know what I mean right you're like I don't know and I'm like well Alex lives under a rock and I just and I know nothing about fashion yeah like the one person I think we can't ask her at is like Kim K like yeah yeah yeah nobody can like not even your grandpa can ask her like at this point we have to know um okay I have a I have a I have to ask you this
So, I know your thoughts on being around a couple. Like, if it was you and your boyfriend in the car and then I'm in the backseat. You're not saying to him, like, hey, babe, can you turn the AC on? Are you? Are you saying, babe? Remember we talked about this, like, a long time ago? I'm trying to remember what you said. No. Babe is you. I think you have...
like three passes to call someone babe, but that bait or a, what do you call those names? Pet names. Let's call them are, are, are saved for the bedroom as in like your household with just your spouse. Yeah. Like I don't, and I, and the last thing I want to be around is baby, baby. I'm like, I don't, I don't know why I automatically feel awkward in that scenario, but the other day I was in an elevator and I was in it first and
right it was just me okay and it's important i guess well i think it's important for some reason i feel like it's important who was in the elevator first like i didn't enter into this i was in it you owned this elevator it was kind of my elevator you know it used to be when i would come to work and i would put that i would get in the elevator during mask time i would have like a joking role with the doorman like
whoever's in the elevator first gets to dictate if you have to wear them or not kind of thing. And I was always like, that's funny. But so I kind of felt like this was my elevator and I held the door for this couple who got on in my apartment building.
I'm going to my floor. They're going to their floor. So we there's, I don't live in like a massive building. So you kind of see the same people, but I had never seen these people. They get on and this, the guy's holding a package and the, and the guy's like, I didn't order this. And the girl's like, I ordered it for you. And he was like, Oh my God. Like, thank you. You bought it, but I pressed order. I'm just saying I know where you live.
That's so mean. It could be her money too. It's so funny. And they like very clearly, they weren't seriously dating. And he was like, what? Like, how'd you know I wanted? She turns towards him in the elevator and they start making out. And I was like, just kind of like there. You're joking. No. Okay. And I thought to myself, how have I lived this long? And this is, I've never been the third man, third wheel in an elevator where they're making, I get in a drunk hotel in Vegas and,
Is that not awkward? I felt really awkward. No, you have every right to feel awkward, but I have no leg to stand on because I am notorious for my public make-out. Made out with one other person? You know me, I would. I would do that. No, I do actually know that you would. I'm not even saying it. If I have not made out with a guy publicly, they don't exist.
I met up with a guy at a bar one time, and this guy was literally cheering us on. I'm for the bar, but you would do it sober. Okay, let's put it this way. Not sober. It's 2 p.m. No, I wouldn't do it sober. That's what I... Because if I also had some wine, I don't really care, and I'm just looking that up on my phone. I don't think I've ever made out with someone sober publicly. Really? Oh, no. No, not... I mean, like...
I'm not going to like a one, like a one, like your first make out sober in public. Is it probably, uh, I'm not like PDA PDA when I'm sober, like isn't a thing for me. I get really, uh, like social anxiety, but when I'm drunk, it just like goes away. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do flip a switch. Yeah. When I, when I drink, I'm like, what's this? What's social anxiety? There's no one around. I love him. The amount of times you'll text me at night about your date, be like, we're literally going to the altar to get married next morning. I was fine. I don't know what that was like. Wait,
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give me a tequila shot and I'll fall in love with you. Did you love him or do we not? And then the next morning you're like, Oh, sorry. I don't know. Bad text. I did it to you all the time. You're my, you're my safe person who I know that like in the morning I'll be like, eh, she's not, but no, I I'm with you. I agree with you. I think that is so weird to do a sober makeout at 2 PM when there's one other person behind you in the elevator who lives in your building who I'm just going to see you.
But some people don't have the self-awareness to like literally care. There's some people who genuinely don't think PDA is weird. I know. And then I did. So then I was thinking like, well, Alex, like obviously get over it. I wasn't like not, I wasn't like on it, but I was like, they don't care that I'm here, I guess. They don't even care at all that I'm here. So why would they care? Some people just live in their own world and they're just chilling. But I'm with you. I think it's like, I think.
Think the makeouts are just a no. The babe and baby, I think you get with like seniority. Like if you've been married for 10 years and you're like, or like we were with like Mike and Alana and Mike called Alana babe, I would be like, whatever, that wouldn't affect me at all because like they've been dating for so long.
Well, and it's not constantly babe. Like she's not always babe. It's like Alana, Alana. And then like on occasion, it'd be like, Hey babe. Yeah. And then it's like, but it's, it's, if it's always babe or baby, I'm like. And don't you think too, babe or baby, like you can't call something. Like, what do you think is a timeline for that word? Because if a guy called, like if a guy called me babe on the first few dates, I'd be like, you're love bombing me. Go away.
okay what do you think about this hey lady like something that's like different or like hey like um a name like that that's not like nick is literally like her lab because what the fuck this happened one of my friends the other day she was like she sent me a screenshot and he's like hey lady and i was like are you lady and he and she was like yeah and i was like oh and they've been talking for like two weeks it's because he's talking to so many other girls he doesn't want to remember her name
I was like, huh, lady, that's a new one. No, I'm not a lady. I mean, I am a lady, but don't call me a lady. You're not my grandpa. Hey, lady. Okay, let's see. Babe, no. So I think pet names. Okay, I will say this. I remember in college, I used to think like the first time that you were like, he'd be like, hey, babe. You're like, it's like the first I love you. You just feel like, oh, he likes me. But it has to be like a few months in.
Oh, months, not months, but maybe like, um, maybe like 10 dates. I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just like, I'm thinking right now. I'm like, if I'm thinking of like a, like a guy I'm going on dates, I'm like, if he called me babe, I'd be like, what the fuck? Oh, really? Well, it's just like, it's such like an intimate thing to me. That's like, we're exclusive. Correct. Correct. Yeah. That's like, that's probably like around the time you have the talk.
Yeah, but you know me. I'm like the nicknames are the key to my heart. Like if someone calls me like Jord or Jay or I'm like, I just fell in love with you. Oh, I ran into that guy that called you Jord. The one that with the intention thing. Oh, he followed up. Yeah, his friend texted me about you too. And I thought. What did his friend say? His friend said, I didn't realize those two had never met in person.
Oh, oh. And I get this text and about 10 minutes later, I look over and the guy that's texting you is like, Yeah, plot twist guys. The friend that introduced me to this person is actually Alex. Remember last week I was like, we're going to change his story. I don't care now. I'm like, whatever. So he, I don't mean to like put him on blast. I'm sure like he's a great guy. But so he followed up with me like late Monday night.
And he essentially, like, long story short, was like, I have good news for you. And I was like, what? And he was like, I have a reservation Thursday or Friday. And I'm like, I have bad news for you. I'm busy both of those days because it's a Monday night and one I would never give you my Friday night. I've never met you in two days.
This is not good news. I don't know. I just got... I might be so... Being such a bitch right now, but I'm like, this is not good news for me. I have life. Well, okay. So when I ran into him, he was like...
i think i got ghosted and i was like nope gotta be more of a planner and just like walked off so i think he he took that he obviously heard that and and tried to plan but it's like so good to know because it's just like a miss like it's just it's just a mess yeah and like not in and someone dm me and they're like that's not that big of a deal and like to him
Maybe that is how he plans and to some girls that wouldn't be that big of a deal but since planning and time is such a value of mine, it goes to show that like we wouldn't be compatible in like that sense. So it doesn't mean he's a bad guy. It's just like we wouldn't work unless he like really stepped up his organizational planning skills. 100% like...
Okay. So like, I'm trying to think, I mean, even me, somebody can text me on a Monday, make you busy tomorrow. And I'm like, I don't even know. So that's fine. But with you, it's like so important. This is why it's good to people to know. These are things that are just like non-negotiable and important to me. Because like you were saying last time you, you, what did you say you used to do? Like you would wait the week. If you said I would hang out with you, like I would wait.
Or I would make no plans the whole week hoping he would like make a plan or text or call me. Right. So, and I love that you've come, you're like, no, time is so important to me and I love scheduling and planning. So if someone doesn't do that, then it doesn't work for me because as we always say, they don't do it at the beginning, but they're not going to do it. They're not going to get better at it. Yeah. Like the one guy I'm dating, like we would, he like learned very quickly because he would
make a plan and I was like sorry I'm busy this whole week so now like he does not leave without being like when can I see you next yeah and it's like that's that's that is a guy that's in your court and like some people are like that's so it's like or they might be like it's so exhausting I'm like but it's really not because it doesn't bother him and it doesn't bother me and it works for us so I think the term there is compatibility ladies and gentlemen exactly and like I have been burned so many times with time and value like
people taking advantage of my time where that's a literal non-negotiable for me now. And if someone can't, I mean like you figured it out. Like if someone really cares, they'll figure it out. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah. Like we, we need to meet each other halfway. Yeah. I'm like, she needs me to plan. And then you're like, she needs me to not plan so much. And then we just do both of those things. And then it, it works, but it's like,
So if we were all compatible with each other, we would all date each other like all the time. Exactly. Types wouldn't exist. I'm not asking you to cut your arm off. I'm literally just asking you to look five days in advance at your calendar and be like, are you free or not? Yeah, exactly. And some people might ask you to cut your arm off and that might be your girl.
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charge. Let therapy, let therapy be your map with better help. Visit better help.com slash mean girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P.com slash mean girl. Okay. So before we started this morning, um, Nick and Kate, so if people listening, Nick and Kate, they might not know Nick and care like our producers. And they're like, what are you going to talk about? And I like, just like gave a blank stare and they were like,
Like, I thought it was going to be, like, juicy. I'm like, no, like, I don't know what we're going to talk about. Like, Eddie Kaye. So I was like, Kate, like, what's happening in the girl world? And she was telling me, and Kate, if you wanted to cut this for your sister, you totally can because you're in control, that her sister's going through her first breakup. And she was like, you should talk about, like, your first breakup stories. Because, like, mine is horrifying. Yeah, I remember mine. Okay. Okay, give me yours. First breakup stories are...
Well, how old were you when you had your first boyfriend? 15. Okay. I had my first kiss. I lost my virginity the whole shebang at 15. All of it in one sitting? Well, in one year. It was one year. Same guy? Same guy, yeah. If you had your first kiss and lost your virginity in the one day, I think... I don't want to shame that, but that would be a lot. No, it was like my first kiss was, I think... I mean, it was November of my...
My 15th year of life. How do you know the month? Because it's one of the days of my life. Who knows the month of their first kiss? I do. Do you know the date? No, I used to, but I forgot. It was like the beginning of November. Do you remember your anniversary with this person? It was sometime in October. Okay, so you started dating this person when you were 15 in October and then your first kiss was in November. Yes, and then we had sex that like May. Okay.
That is a lovely amount of time. Thank you. I thought so too. Highly appropriate. And I only dated younger guys in high school too. So he was younger than me. Um, but like specifically only dated younger guys on purpose. I don't know. I, I think it was because my brother was older than me and a lot of the guys in my grade were friends with my brother. So my brother was a grade older than me. So a lot of the guys in my grade were friends with him because they all played sports together. And I think I was just like,
I was not allowed to... The guys were like... My brother was like, do not date my sister. So I went to the grade below me. I was the opposite. I would specifically try to date around that area. Of course you would. But yeah, so long story short, my first boyfriend was an asshole. Not anymore. He's a great guy now, but he was just like such a dick and...
We broke up and got back together so many times within two years. And I just like vividly remember like I would think the world was ending. Like we broke up. I think we lasted eight months before our first breakup. So to me, that's an eternity when you're 15 years old now, 16 at the time. Like that is the person you're going to marry. Like his mom used to tell my mom if they were if they met when they were older, they would have been perfect for each other. And like all this stuff, like I thought I was going to marry this kid.
and about eight months in we had our first breakup and it destroyed me like it was one of those things too where like he wouldn't talk to me he just wanted to do it over text and I was like I want to talk to you and you know that feeling where like you just want to talk to someone but they don't like you anymore so they just don't want to talk to you so he's like we're done and I'm like please just see me in person and talk to me and I remember just like
this is where it gets like so fucked up I remember sitting in my room bawling and I would cry so much that I remember like tallying how many times like he made me cry I don't it's so bad Alex that was so dramatic when I was a kid and I was like if if I have to do one more tally I'm never gonna speak to him again I remember like doing my last tally it was probably like eight to
and i was like i've hit my breaking point did not i ended up dating him like i said on and off for like two years i never never actually broke he like finally he like cheated on me like when he hung out with this girl when we were like together and that was like finally the last draft or two years photo of it on accident but i remember literally in my room i like tallied how many times he made me cry and i was psycho like i remember we went on a family vacation and i was like
We were apart for two weeks. And I remember I cried almost every day because we were apart for two weeks and we went on a family vacation to Mexico. And my mom was like, you're being such a little bitch. Like get up and do something. And I was like, I'm just so sad. I miss him so much. That what? Go ahead. I was gonna say now I can't like miss a person to save a life, but two weeks. So that was like five years. But it's so, but it's so real because when you're in high school, you're,
You're positive you're going to marry the person and no one can tell you differently. And you're the exception to the rule. Your parents are like, you're going to look back and laugh at this. And you're like, you don't get it. This is the love of my life and I'm different than all your other friends and you don't understand. And your parents, I'm like, when I'm a parent, I'm going to be looking at the kid like... You're going to have your heart broken about twice.
Five to eight more times, sweetheart. And there's no like you can't get through to them. Like I remember being like, there's nothing you can say. No, I was like positive. I was like, we will last and be married for the rest of our lives. And life is going to be great.
A hundred percent. And I'm, and there's not one word that can come out of your mouth that will make this better. And nobody gets me. And like two weeks felt like two years. And I remember now, like once we finally broke up, I remember I ended up dating like another guy within like three months. You move on so fast. It's so bad. No, we didn't have like, we didn't even have Instagram back then. So we couldn't even like see them with another person or anything. And it just hurt.
Oh, God. I think the first cut the song first cut is the deepest. Do you think the first heartbreak is the worst heartbreak when you're 15 and can't rationalize? Because that does feel like the end of the world. No, I had I've had worse. I mean, it probably was in the moment. But like, I think the older you get, the heartbreaks hurt. It's so weird. I feel like for me, it kind of like.
went like in a curve and then went back up. Like my first heartbreak was like the word was like bad. Then like my second one was the worst. And now heartbreak since I've like, I know that it gets better. I've had enough where I'm like, okay, it will get better. They hurt, but I get rid of like the pain goes away faster.
We can, yeah, we can rationalize. We understand the way that things are supposed to happen. Yeah. I would agree. Okay, so my first breakup was in high school. How old were you? I was...
Okay, well, how old are you when you're a senior or junior? Well, I'm over both young. I was 16. Okay. Oh, yeah, I was 16. Right, right. So 16, maybe 17, because it was in the summer. But I did things a little differently than you. And my brother was older than me. And so I would kind of circle around a little bit there, because then I knew automatic approval. So I dated one of his friends. And
I guess I decided I never date. Like I've never, I don't date. I never dated a lot of people. Like I think I have like three boyfriends in my life and, um, I would talk to a lot of them, but I wouldn't date a lot of them. And so we're dating. And one day I think I just decided that we were not going to date anymore. And instead of telling him that I just started not to like, just not talking to him. And I remember one day, like, but I, cause I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Like he would have broken my heart.
I know. I would not have been, we would not be compatible daters. And I remember getting this text message from him. I was pulling in my neighborhood and I get this text and it's like, you simply just cannot not talk to somebody for three days. Like, I know you have your phone and like, you just, you can't do this. And so I remember being like, probably not, probably can't do this. So I just texted him back and I was like, I think I said something like,
You're right. Like, I was just being so avoidant. And I thought that was... Anyways, we did end up getting back together. And then we broke up because the classic, the worst thing in the world. He's a grade older than me. So he went to college where...
My parents were like, okay, listen, you can of course date the kid in college, but I'm telling you, you are signing up for like him going to fraternity parties. It's going to be a ton of girls like you. I'm telling you, break your heart now. Do not stay with him while he's in college because you're going to be the girl in high school dating the college kids. So you're not going to be hanging out with your friends.
And he's going to be the guy in college with 17 girlfriends in college and then the one girlfriend in high school. And I thought that was the first time where I was like, I'm going to just take a leap of faith and listen to you guys on this one. And my brother was like, I'm telling you, don't date him in college. You'll just get destroyed. And so I didn't.
And that ended up like working out a lot better. But I remember that was kind of like a voluntary heartbreak. Like I didn't want to break up with him yet, but we had to because he went to college and that like sucked in the moment. But by the time I got to college, I was really happy that I had done that. But the first time we broke up, it was just like a very immature ghost on my part. And I kind of hated that. I don't know if we have like a ton of high schoolers who listen, but if I could give one piece of advice to any high schooler, it would be
do not go to college in a relationship. My second boyfriend was a year younger than me. And I promised myself no matter how much I loved him, I was going to break up with him before I went to college. And I did. And it sucked because it was the same with you. Like it was voluntary and it hurt, but I've never been so grateful. I like do not go to college in a relationship. Well, and the thing too, is if you do go to college, cause I watched a lot of my friends. I think that's like,
The worst thing you can do as the girl is stay in high school, I think, and have the boyfriend go to college because then you lose your senior year. Yeah. Because your brain, your mind is somewhere else. But I think I watched a lot of my friends break up and then they would go to college. And then there were the cases where they got there and a year in, they got back together. Like if it's meant to be when you're in college, it does kind of happen again.
But most of the time you break up and you get to college and you realize you are a little fish in a very big pond. And there are that one guy you love in high school. There's now 30 of them. And you just get to pick which one you want.
Or though even if you both go to college, especially separate colleges, I knew I had friends who did that and every weekend they were gone visiting their significant other and then like they broke up sophomore year and they're like, wait, how do you have all these friends? It's like you didn't make any friends because you were gone every single weekend. You didn't rush a sorority because you were gone every weekend. Like I just don't do it.
And okay. So when I went, when I went to college, I was obviously single. And then, and then about, I think a year and a half or two years in is when I met Graham and we started dating long distance. And I, I was very hesitant to start dating long distance because I didn't want to be taken away from like the college experience. But what ended up happening, which was so lovely was I San Diego was so far from Oklahoma. So I would see him like once or twice a semester. But when I was in school, I,
or when I was at OU, like on campus, I made this like pact with myself because I was like, I'm inherently social, but I do have a long distance boyfriend. So like, what's the best of both worlds here? And I would always go out with just all of my girlfriends,
So like I had so many more, I think if you date long distance in college, you can, there's one way to do it where it's like, you're constantly at the other college. So you're missing your experience or you can be like, no, this is cool. I'm not going to be the girl out like flirting with people at the bar. Instead, I'll just be like hanging out with my friends or like with my guy friends. So I had like so many more intentional relationships and I like loved that about it. I love that. And also too, I feel like by your junior year, you've like established a really strong friendships. Yeah.
So I feel like it's like that would be a good time. Yeah, like I had so many best friends and like we just got stronger. Yeah, no, I love that. So this episode is presented by one of my favorite brands of all times, Skims. You guys, I've been wearing Skims for probably a year now and it has completely changed my life. The way I wear underwear and bras, like I'm never going back. I can never wear anything but Skims. Skims is great because it's creating the next generation of underwear for everybody.
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I don't like reading. It says, okay, so this is kind of actually what we were just talking about. It says, what are your thoughts on younger or what are your thoughts on guys younger than you? To me, it's not that big of a deal because my mom is four years younger than my dad. I feel like the guy being older thing is just something that was installed a long time ago, but I'm asking because of a maturity difference. So she's asking like, what are your thoughts on dating a younger guy?
Do you know what I think this actually boils down to? What? And I'll, I'm going to contradict this, you know, in a month, but I think it's less about like whether or not age wise, they're younger or older than you. And I think it could have more to do with if they're the youngest or oldest child in their family,
Like if a guy is six months younger than you or four years younger than you, but he's the oldest child, I think he can have, I think that can mature him like two years. If you're the youngest child and have so many youngest child syndrome traits, does that make sense? Yeah. I think it's definitely situational. Like my best friend's dating a guy two years younger than her and he is God's gift to earth. He treats her so well and he's so mature and,
I have a rule for myself. I won't date more than a year younger than me, but that's only because I knew how I was when I was younger. And like, I never want to take life experiences away from people. And I think that like you should use your lower twenties to like do everything you want to do before you get in a relationship. And also to like,
And I also know how I was a few years ago and like, I just wanted to fuck around. So it's like, I just want these guys to fuck around. And then when they're ready, when they're older and in their thirties, then be like, okay, now I'm ready to like fully give myself to one person and settle down.
Yeah. And I think you can tell there are some guys you meet and you're like, Oh, you got to get this out of your system. You've got a wild side. And there's some that you meet that are like, I just, I really want a relationship. I want to like love somebody. And that's the guy that's going to like love that one person for the rest of their life and has zero interest. Like, I think that there are girls and guys that are just wired differently like that. And I think there's some cases where, um,
somebody like this mom is four years older than the husband and it's like that probably worked out like you said it's so situational that there are those certain guys where it's like they're they're 28 and all their friends are married with kids and they want that or there's those that are like they need to be 35 still being so wild and they never got it out of their system yeah and I think too what you just said about being like the oldest kid that's like when maturity comes because
I feel like if a guy like my ex-boyfriend of five years, he had four sisters. He was so mature and like wanted to settle down because all of his sisters were married with kids. So like, that's like what he knew and what he wanted. But I mean, we were 23. And he didn't want it. He doesn't, they don't, they don't ever want a wild side. No. And he didn't, he like had that in high school and he's like, I'm done. Like I drank all the time. I fucked around. He's like, I just want to be in a relationship now.
I thought about that a lot this weekend after meeting people. It's like, you can tell. So you're like, oh, fuckboy Faye is, oh, like, not actually looking for, like, and it's so interesting because most of the time in the first hour or two of sitting with somebody, you're like, I kind of have a pulse on that. Not in a bad way, in a good way. Yeah, and, like, since I was in a relationship until I was 24, I had my, like, fuck around time period from, like, 20, like,
Because of COVID, like, honestly, like, 26 and 27. And now I'm, like, I'm done with it. Like, I'm over. I don't want to have, do that anymore. So now I'm, like, 28 and I'm wanting a relationship. Yeah. No, exactly. Now, I will say this. What do you think about this, though? Like, a year or two younger, I'll say four. So the example in this is four years. It would take me.
I mean, you would have to show your cards there for me to date four years younger. I would never. Also, too, just being a girl and, like, I don't, like, I would maybe want kids when I'm, like, 35 and they might be like, at 31, I don't want kids yet.
You're doing it at your biological clock. Yeah, and they'd have to be like, I'm here in my current, like they'd have to really show that they were very mature for their age. No, like I don't, I could never date someone. I couldn't. I literally couldn't.
They'd have to be, I'd have to be like time, time again. Oh, perfect. Okay. Wow. Like it has to be so hard to walk away from, you know what I mean? I have to be like so situationally perfect and compatible. Like, can you imagine me dating a 24 year old? No, no. I can't imagine though. A 35 year old dating a 31 year old. Yes. Or a 40 year old dating a 36 year old all day. But if it starts with a two and we're going to go four years apart, I think it's two because it's,
We both would be saying this without actually have arriving to this part in our life, but in your twenties, they're every year. So drastically different that to go four years apart feels like going 20 years apart. Yeah. But I would assume in your thirties and forties, maybe that blends together a bit more, but I don't know. Yeah. All right. Well, let's wrap it up.
Okay. Do what you do best, Amy. People are going to be like, well, that was abrupt. We're on the time crunch, people. Let me tell you what. No one loves a time crunch more than Jordan. Like, got to go. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, Facebook. We'll subscribe to the YouTube channel. Leave us a five-star review. And call your best friend and tell them that you love them. And we'll see you guys in Tampa this Tuesday. Tomorrow.
If you're listening on Monday. Oh, at the airport. I was in the airport Monday morning at like 9 a.m. I was on the phone with you. Yeah. And that girl came over. She's like, you guys are in my ear. And I was like, I'm on the phone with her. She was like, oh my God. You're like Jordan's in my ear right now. It was like cute. We're all like hanging out. It was adorable. Okay. Well, I love you and my guys. I love you too.
