Marriage Doesn't Suck
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People have this traditional view of marriage, right? That the woman cooks, cleans, like you, people think you get married and it is going to be so boring from that moment on. And I have to say that we have found the complete opposite of that.

Hi, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I'm Alex. I'm Graham. And I'm Alex's husband. I was going to say, I'm not here with Jordan today. I'm not Jordan. You are not. No. No. Look a little different. Are you into the 666 rule? Yeah, I mean, but...

Are you for it? I wasn't going to ask you that. Not really for it. I mean, we can get in that later in the podcast, but I think it's fun. I think it's like a fun idea. But no, there's a lot more out there. The three of us. So when the 666 rule was first introduced into our lives, Jordan, Graham and I were in Aspen on our spring break trip. And the three of us were sitting at a table and this guy walked into a bar in Aspen and

And we were like, Graham and I were helping Jordan fish, right? We were like, he's cute. Go talk to him. He's cute. And then we were like, okay, that guy over there is really cute. And she's like, no, it doesn't have the 666. And Graham and I were like, what is that? It was funny when she brought it up. Yeah. Our lives changed forever. So we're going to start off still with a current event because we always start with a current event. And I have to admit, I never, I don't read any news sources, really. I get all my current events from this one.

I like to read. You should marry somebody that does it differently than you because if you didn't do the news, neither of us would know anything. No, because we don't watch news at night or anything like that either. So, I mean, we would have no news. No, you get up in the morning and you read the news. Yes. So give us a current event. Give us something. I mean, it's just a good story. There's this guy from a student athlete from Johns Hopkins.

And he makes burritos all the time because that's the quickest way for him to get food and whatnot. He makes huge burritos, but he was always pissed that they kept on falling apart. So he made edible tape that he can wrap his burrito in. The guy made edible tape? Yeah, and now it won't fall apart. That's really funny. Is it sweet?

So sugar-based? That's a good question. Yeah, or is it tasteless? Maybe it comes in different flavors, like garlic. Ooh. Salt. I bet it's tasteless. I'm very impressed. I'm impressed by the guy. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm really impressed with that kid. He took matters into his own hands. Yeah. If you can invent something, what would it be right now? What's a problem you need to solve? Do you know? Oh, no.

If I could invent something. Well, if you have a problem and you need it to solve. I've been having a problem with our iron lately. I would invent the best iron. I bought a new iron that I thought was going to be incredible. I'm going to look for a refund on it because I can't get all the way up the shirt. It's a wand, but it doesn't like scissors. No, no, no. It's exactly like a large straightener. Yes, it is.

And so, but like if you get all the way up the shirt, it just wrinkles all this part. So it's not as good as they let on. It's good for that kind of because the buttons open up, but.

I would have bitten a hell of an iron. I know. I've never used an iron, really. So speaking of this, one thing we're going to talk about later would be marriage taboos or stereotypical roles that one would play. Yeah. For example, including but not limited to... Laundry. You do the laundry. Yeah. Okay, but the first thing...

Hold on. One thing I want to say is that we want this episode to be applicable if you're newly dating somebody, if you're single, if you're dating somebody, if you want to date somebody, if you're living with someone, like living with your significant other or newly married, any of those phases. If you've been married for 10 years and you think we sound like idiots, forgive us because we're not there yet. We've been married three years. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Which is a lot. Which is a lot of time. And we've had a lot of fun. And we get a lot of questions because we haven't necessarily done things the traditional way because I think we hate the traditional. We don't hate the traditional way, but we didn't find that it worked for us. So we do things a little differently. And we do things that work for Graham and Alex because that's what you have to do. So the first thing that we wanted to talk about is does marriage suck?

And the answer to that is yes. I'm just kidding. Whoa. I was going to say, that's not what we talked about.

I prepare to hold another list of notes. No. Okay. So everyone always says the best night of your life is your wedding night. People told me that. I remember that. I mean, they say it all the time. People still tell people that. I'll be around people that are getting married and someone will say, oh my gosh, I'm just so excited for you. It's the best night of your life. No, it's not. No, it's hectic. And there's a lot going on that night too. I mean, and you can't really ever be in the moment. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's great. I mean, it's a lot of fun. Your friends and family are there, you know, music typically and whatnot, but it's,

the best, as you've always said, the best day of your life or marriage life is the next day. It's the next, it is. I'm telling you, I woke up the next day and I was like, oh my God, I'm Alex Bennett now. Like we have the same last name. When we go to the doctor's office, I can check like I have a spouse. Like I felt like, remember when we went back, okay, so we went to Tahiti on our honeymoon and on the way home, did we go to Tahiti? Bora Bora. Bora Bora.

Same thing. Tahiti Airport. Yeah. Guys, when we landed in Tahiti, I started speaking Spanish because I thought that was the native language there, but it's French. So that was embarrassing. And mainly English. Mainly English. Yeah. They're fully get around there. But we land, we, when we were in the airport on the way home, remember what I said to you? I go, wow, now that we're married, I feel like I can do anything. And I don't

know where that came from. I think it was that I felt like I officially had like a buddy for anything in life. Like no matter what happened, I had somebody by your side. Yeah. I mean, right away, like shit's going to get thrown at me and you're going to help me and shit's going to get thrown at you and shit's going to get thrown at us. But like together, we're always going to be there to help each other out. Right. So it's just kind of feeling like you always have someone, like you said, on your side and willing to go to bat for you.

And of course we're going to have like, even with this job, like,

You have disagreements or you enter into a lot of like uncomfortable situations. You have fights with your family, your friends, things like that. And I think it's important to not put on the rose cover goggles and be like, well, he's always right. It's not that. That's not what I mean by a teammate. No. I mean. No, you call me out on a bunch of stuff. And you do the same for me, but that helps us get better. But it's like, I think we understand we would never, ever, ever go against each other, but we would help each other view things differently. Yeah. I mean, marriage doesn't.

cover the bad stuff that a person has or like what they're embarrassed by it brings it all out and makes you you know talk about it discuss it makes you better we have a question yeah what i like how you said that like now your guys are like teammates for life like that's like you're one you know how do you so i feel like as you're married it's different than when you're dating a little bit like when you get in a fight

You might view it differently because you're just like, it's not like you versus him. It's like, how do we get over this together? Like, so what are some ways that you guys like will diffuse an argument or like stuff like that? Okay. When we first got married, we were arguing a lot more than we ever do now because there were growing pains. Right. So,

Like what? Like, okay, so we lived differently. Uh-huh. Simply put. Did you live together before you got married? No. We didn't live together. Oh, okay. And we're very like pro-live together before you got married, but we had come off of a rocky, like we had broken up.

gotten back together, moved out to California. So it was so many... I had a new job. He had a new job. We had so many new things that I couldn't add living with him on top of that. Oh, so you moved to California together but lived separately. Lived separately. Interesting. It was interesting, but it was great. With roommates or just...

No, we lived alone. We lived alone. Wow, that's so interesting. And not like super close to each other. No, that was an empowerment moment for me. I was like, okay, listen, we just got over this breakup. I do love you. I will move to California for you, but I'm living alone. Interesting. So I was like, that was like my one thing that I wanted. And I was like, I can pay my own rent. I can do it, you know? And he's like, okay, great. Congratulations. And then it was like a pain in the ass because we were driving together.

20 minutes to my place to your place but it was it was you know um

One, hold on. Before I answer that, I have to say something that just popped into my mind. Graham and I broke up because we, you had cheated on me basically. Not basically. No, had cheated on me. And we got back together. And if you, if you get back together with somebody, you're not allowed to bring that back up. If you're going, if you're willing to get back together with them, you have to be fully over whatever it was that happened. Yeah. I mean, I would kind of agree with that. Like I,

I kind of agree with you, but at the same time, like you were really hurt. So you're going to bring it back up. And like, I can't be mad at you for that. Like if you brought it up every day or every week, like, yeah, that'd be annoying and we have to get past that. But like, you're going to have, I would understand if you had insecurities about it and that's totally reasonable.

That's okay. That's a good point. Let me rephrase that. I wasn't mad at you anymore about it. I was no longer angry, but I was allowed to be sad and scared. Yes, for sure. That's just a little tidbit. So, okay. So we would argue a lot.

over simple things like in the kitchen. Very simple. Like if my mom, my, and this is what we would say a lot. This was the largest thing to come up. I'd be like, but my mom would do this and he'd be like, okay, I didn't grow up like that.

And so things like that would happen. My family does X. Your family does X. And it was Graham's therapist that told him, you both think you're equally right because in your households growing up, you are right. But now you two are married. So you have to both say, okay, Graham feels so strongly about this.

Let's something stupid putting up the dishes right after you eat. This is my life. Really? A hundred percent. But the only difference is that so we obviously we're not married, but we have the same arguments right now moving in together. We've lived together almost a year. We never fought before. Now again, arguments like that. But the difference is that I have it in the back of my head. I'm not your wife.

Oh, so I'm not doing like I'll do I'll start doing stuff and I'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm on a girlfriend's salary. Like, I don't I'm not fucking do I'm not like doing your laundry. You know what I mean? But then like his laundry piles up and it pisses me off. And I'm like this close to being like, just let me do your laundry. And then I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so it's different for you guys a little bit because like you are married. So it's like.

you do those extra things for each. You know what I mean? Like I kind of draw the line a little bit where like, I'm not, I'm not cooking and cleaning just cause I'm a girl. I work too. Well, right. So what do you mean? Yeah. So on that, I would think that applies to, so for us, the thing was that for us, the thing was drop it no matter what it drop your old ways of living and arrive to this and know it's a new family going forward. Things will be different. But with what you're talking about, um,

Do you agree with this where that's kind of the taboo? Yeah. Like I wouldn't assume Graham does all the dishes and does the laundry. I typically cook some stuff. He also cooks. And I clean. I'm a horrible house cleaner, but I clean. He is the one that cleans. Yeah. Because here's the, here was the other thing. My mom told me, and it was the best piece of marriage advice I ever got. And I think it would apply to also right when you move in, what you do at the beginning, you'll be expected to do forever.

So right when we moved in together I was like listen If you think I'm going to do your laundry I'm not And he happened I don't know I don't think it's like that Do you have it in unit?

Yes. Okay. But he's always done the laundry. I've always done it. He folds. He folds. I've always just enjoyed it. Even when she lived on her own, I would do yours. He can fold. His dad can fold. And then he got it from him. And this man can fold. Like, it looks like we got our laundry done. Yeah. Level of folding happening. Professional folder. Yeah. Do you agree with that, though? No. Your point about, like, if you do it in the beginning, you're expected to do this all the way through. I don't think so. Things change. Don't stop doing the laundry like I now think you will.

I literally have become accustomed to putting my laundry in the laundry hamper knowing that you'll do it. Yes, for sure. But like, okay, that's one example. But if you, you know, vacuumed the first week we were married, that's not your job. No, that's true. We do. Well, I think different levels of cleanliness. Sure. Like, do you clean? Like you get out the products?

Yeah. You'll like clean. Do you? We both do that though. Yeah, I do. That's like whoever's more free. If we notice the place starting to get messy, whichever one's like sometimes if he, so Graham, a lot of people ask what Graham does. Graham is in school getting his master's in history. So he has odd hours. You also like you have an internship this summer, but there's been times where it's like if he has a paper due or it's in finals, I'm like, I know I'm cleaning. But talk about roles reversed again. I mean, you're making the money right now. Yeah. Yeah. So,

I just wanted to throw that in there. She's a sugar mama. Yeah, exactly. That's totally going to backfire, but yeah. That's fine. But we do so... But there are some things where it was never...

People have this traditional view of marriage, right? That the woman cooks, cleans like you. People think you get married and it is going to be so boring from that moment on. And I have to say that we have found the complete opposite of that. Yeah, I think a lot of those taboos and whatnot, like maybe some of it comes from your parents, but I think a lot of it just comes from Hollywood and your idea of marriage.

But like, it doesn't just because you're married, it doesn't change who you are or what you're about. Like, um, I mean, it's, some people say like it limits your productivity. Like you have to choose work or marriage or like you can't go out anymore because we're married, but you know, just,

Just because you're married, you can't blame the institution of marriage for a bad relationship. Like you're involved in it. So it's up to you. Right. So what are some things you guys do to like keep it fresh, keep it fun? Okay. So I would say from the get go, we is, am I going to say this right? What is the word for like your pro risk?

I would say just pro-risk. Mitigate risk means minimize. Okay, so we're very risk-averse. Is that the right word? I have no idea. Like risk-taker? Yeah. So, for example, moving out to California, then we moved up to L.A., even getting this job.

It was like at that point we had been married two and a half years. Some people might be thinking it's time. If you're going on a traditional timeline, you're like, it's time for those two to settle down and probably have a kid. And we were like, I think we're going to let Alex take this job at Barstool and then we're going to move to New York and totally throw a grenade and things.

Um, Graham used to have a great job when we moved to LA or when we moved out to Newport, he had a very stable, great income, great job, great trajectory, quit it because he's like, my passion is history. I want to go back to school. So we're very like in terms of keeping it fresh, um,

That's a lot of it.

okay, we got married. Now we're going to do this and then we're going to do this and then we're going to buy it. Like we own no assets. Graham and I don't own a house. Like we don't own cars. And a lot of people would probably think like you should own something at this space. And it's like, that doesn't work for us. Yeah. That doesn't fit in a Graham and Alex's life at this point. And we're just, we're really like a way we keep it fresh is we're completely unconcerned with what we should be doing. Yeah. I think we just like chase growth, which is fun. Like, of course we go out to dinner and we do fun things like that, but that,

to me that's not like filling the cup of keeping it fresh and being exciting like we have no idea where we're going to live in five years I think some people would go insane not knowing that right and we'd love that you know we could be anywhere um

So, yeah. On a small scale, though, Graham started. So we think that complacency is kind of the enemy, right, when it comes to marriage. Because we'll talk about sex life in a second. But right now, too, ever since we moved to New York, once we got acclimated, you started getting online. You'll make reservations for dinner. Oh, I love that. And we have to go. Like last night, just the two of us, we walked to this restaurant. We tried. We checked out the menu before dinner.

Like, cause you can't just go home every night, make dinner, sit there, eat it, go to bed. Like I would go crazy. That to me is boring. And it didn't even have to be like a nice dinner. No. Just getting out and going to be around other people and seeing the nightlife. Like,

It's fun. It's kind of like another way to view marriage is like a built-in person to do all these things with. Like, I want to have a picnic in Central Park. Okay, we'll just put that on the calendar. And then logistics aren't that confusing to figure out because, like, we're coming from the same house, which is nice. Sex life in terms of complacency, when we first got married, it was great. And then I would say, what, six months in, we kind of hit like a... Lull? Yeah, like a lull.

So I was I initially was more vocal because that's just my role. Yeah. I was never vocal ever. So I started saying, like, look at what's happening. Like, we're not this isn't fun. Like, you know, like twice a week at night, kind of when we're thinking about it. Well, we have sex. Yeah. And I was like, this isn't going to work.

So it's so funny now. I sit here and I'm like, now things have completely changed. And we really have a lot of fun. So I asked you the other day, though, I was like, you need to think about why that is. So why do you think that is? I think just a different attitude about it. Like for a while, I still hadn't communicated like, you know, what I hold on. I don't know.

What had changed was that we had to get open and we had to start talking about it. Yeah, just being more open and more comfortable. And I was just like, okay, this is a night thing. And then sometimes we'd get in bed and I would just be like so tired. Right. But then it's like, no. But then I think it's like if you just start thinking about sex more, like during the day, like, oh, yeah, this might happen tonight. Then it's like you're more, for me anyways, it's like,

okay, we're going to have sex tonight. Yeah. And then, and now like we'll do sometimes in the mornings, like whenever in the middle of the day, like it's just, we we've started what we realized we had to implement was like flirting with each other all the time. You love to flirt. Like today I just had my t-shirt on this morning. It's like you wearing that to work. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, yes. And I was like, Oh cute. Like I love when you do stuff like that. And you love when I do it back to you. And like, we know that I used to be so, so,

I used to have this thing against PDA. I would be like, we know you like each other. And now I don't need to sit on your lap and like make out with you at a bar. Like we got it. But I, if some, if two people used to sit on the same side of the booth, I would be like, are you guys kidding me? But now I'm like, why was I like that? I don't know. Maybe it's because things were becoming complacent, but I love that.

I'm obsessed with holding your hand. I would sit on your lap out in public just because I like sitting on your lap. Like little cute things like that that are flirting. Yeah. That's what's helped too is like the little things throughout the day, don't you think? I think so. Yeah. It probably gets you in the mindset, you know? I think. Because otherwise you're just friends. Yeah.

And then all of a sudden you're friends that have sex. And it's like hard to make that jump. So you have to be like constantly. We got to that point. Alana, we totally got to a point. I think it was six months to a year in. And it was probably like a three month span. Yeah. Where we were like friends. Friends. Good friends. Yeah, great friends. And then you're like, wait, we're supposed to have sex right now? Like, no.

And that's kind of awkward. Yeah, it is. If you're trying to have sex with your best friend. There was nothing per se wrong at that time. And we weren't fighting. But we had a very like, it was like I was living with a roommate in college who I liked my roommate. But now you keep the crush phase alive, right? And then I think with that, because no matter what, like we're talking about it right now when things are good.

But we have had lots of people always told you marriage was tough, didn't they? Yeah. I remember three weeks before I got married, my boss was like, oh, that's awesome. But man, marriage is a lot of work. It's tough. Is he a boomer? He is not. No. And I was like, oh, shit. A boomer mindset. Yes. Everyone's always saying marriage is tough. Yeah.

And this guy was happily married that was telling you this. And I remember you kept coming home and you were like, he's telling me marriage is tough. I'm like, listen, I think it's going to be, but I don't know what that looks like. But now three years in, I think we know. I would say marriage is very tough. Totally. Yeah, it's a lot of work. Just because you're married doesn't mean like, oh, we're good now. And like we are in this relationship, like you have to work at it all the time. You know, some people would say,

Alex has to give 50% and Graham has to be 50%, but it's like really a hundred and a hundred. Right. Because you got to give your full self to that, but which is great because then you, you know, you're a better person and you're a better couple. I know. I do think, I think it's like, okay, it's tough.

But it's so rewarding. Oh, it's like a grind with anything. If you're trying to get a promotion at work or do well at school or anything like that, it's going to be a tough time. You're not having fun going to exams and taking them. But at the end, it's way worth it. It's rewarding. Very rewarding. And you have to learn how the other person... You know how you view...

This is different to say because some people might have a skewed view of marriage because of the way their parents work or their parents were or are. But everybody knows probably one happy couple and they're like, wow, I would love to be like that when you're older. Mm-hmm.

That was always something I looked at, but then I realized once we were married, like we could achieve that if we, A, both put our egos aside and B, put aside the side, put aside the desire to be personally correct. Yeah. Like when we argue, like,

It is not, we're not going into it for me to be like, got him. I was right. That gets us nowhere. At this point, it's like, we're arguing for the best result. That's like good for both of us. Yeah. And that requires...

Like no ifs, ands, or buts. Egos have to go to the side. And we have to be like, what's best for Graham and Alex as a whole right here? Yeah, you just got to meet in the middle and figure out what that is. And really express, like you've got to be talking the whole time and understand each other's needs. Yes. Like if I don't know your needs, then I could be trying to do everything possible to help our relationship and get over the argument, but it won't do anything.

You can't read minds. Absolutely not. And that took, for me, that took a long time to figure out. Right. Like, I cannot read your mind, but I wanted to. Correct. And I wish you could, but the more seriously communicating, I think, has saved us. Yeah, and I think it's a little cliche, like, oh, communication is so important, but my God.

It is. What else are you going to do? Because I do think there's instances too where it's easy to get away from communication and be like, oh, you know, like, is it even worth it to bring that up to them? You know, if we're just going to get in a giant fight about it and it's like, yeah, it's always worth it because if you keep sweeping things under the rug, one day it's going to come back as a monster. But if you can communicate in a way where you're like, I want the best result for us, like, I don't want to just argue. Yeah. Well, and because like, if you're not communicating and,

Say I wish you were doing something different and each day goes by and I'm wondering like, why isn't Alex doing that? Why isn't Alex doing that? It's like I start to resent you. I'm like, come on, this is ridiculous. But you don't know what I need or what I'm how I'm feeling. So it's really unfair to you, too. Right. It's unfair to both parties. And that way, if you don't communicate. Yeah.

Now, it's inevitable, too, though, that you'll run into hardships, but not as a whole, I would say, as a separate person, right? So, like, specifically, before we got married, Graham was kind of the one you were more in the hardship phase. Like, you were learning a lot, like, growing as a person, being a complete shithead. And I was like, what are we going to do with this person? I would lift you up a lot. A fun, nice shithead. Very fun. Oh, he was such a fun...

such a fun shithead i mean the most fun and then though since we moved in to new york like most recently as you all know i'm the one that hit the hard phase yeah um i was having like terrible god just like i would go out a lot um i was being an idiot and i had a ton of anxiety and the most depressed i've ever been in my life like i've never struggled with depression

And the nice part about having, so people were asking us, how do you know when you're, when you found the one? And to that, I would say, if it's not a, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Like if you're not for sure, this is your person, not for the good times. I'm talking about the bad times. Like when you're picking your person, you have to say, can they, of course you can get through the good times, but can this person get me through the really shitty times? And yeah,

I would say the most important part of the seven years I've known you were the past six months for me. Yeah, it was a great six months. It was tears. Oh, it was very tough. Terrible. Yeah, it was hard. But it's almost like we were playing two-on-two basketball, and at one point I literally was like, I have to sit on the bench. And he's like, I got it. I can cover the court. And that was...

massive to me because of course you had told me that you'd always be there for me and things like that but it's inevitable in everybody's life and we're going to have times that are 20 times harder than that but it was really nice to know in that time that I was like holy shit like I can't

I can't even lift myself up that it was like, okay, you can do it. Yeah. But I mean, also when you're down, like I'm down, right. No, I can't go about my life and be as happy as possible. If like you're feeling the way you are feeling, but I loved those six months as hard as they were. It got us so much closer. And like, we really got to know each other better and really, um,

kind of just more solidified things. I think each year, like we'll keep on galvanizing things, but that to me was like, wow, we can do this. Right. We've got each other. Right. Yeah.

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Oh, like you are the one not like, oh yeah, I love you. I could marry you. Where it was like, oh yeah, I could see myself. Like you're going to support me always. I could see myself with you forever. Yeah. Do you have like one specific in your mind or was like a buildup? It was a buildup to a specific moment. Like I think, okay, at the time that Graham cheated on me, I thought my life was over. I thought my heart could not hurt any worse than that. And that that was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

But on the other side of that, and I think a lot of everybody's familiar with a heartbreak of some kind at some point. And if you're not, unfortunately, I think you might get one in your life. I hope you don't, but you probably will. So I got my fair share of this one. And I was like, wow, this guy, I thought I was going to marry him. So in love with literally made out with another girl, like my life is over. But on the other side of that,

You have to break if you're supposed to break up with a person and by the book, what they're doing is wrong, then break up with them. And it's going to hurt like hell at the time. But if it's meant to be, it will be right. Oh, for sure.

That's what you said. Like when we broke up, you're like, hey, if it's meant to be, it's going to happen. And so ever since then, you know, we went through, how long would you say of being broken up? Like a year. Like a year of just every single day I was just trying to get you back. And I think at that moment is probably when I knew like this was my person. Because going through this life before that, it was always like,

I love Alex and I'm dating her, but I was never serious enough with myself to really think about the future. And then once it got taken away from me and you weren't there anymore, then it was like, oh shit, I love this person death. Like I have to be with her. So that's how I knew you were the one. So for you, that's funny. I I'm trying. That's funny. Like your moment was when I left. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's a wake up call.

Yeah. You woke yourself up and didn't even know it. Right. Um, that's, I never knew that. Yeah. Don't you think that would be true? A hundred percent for you. That would be true. Yeah. I think that's entirely true. You wrote me letters every day. We've talked about it on here, brought me meals. Like, I mean, you made it your mission for a year, uh,

For me, it was a buildup, though, after that year of him trying to get me back where I just felt it in my heart. And I remember we were in San Diego for his graduation, and I just felt it in my heart. I was like, he's really, for one full year, tried to get me back. And I'm just going to – I just felt it. It was no moment like that for me, I guess. It was just in my heart where I was like, I knew it was true. But that was because earlier on I had done the shitty –

Like, okay, when Graham, okay, I'm not trying to be long winded here, but I think it's important. When you did cheat on me, I didn't want to break up with you. I wanted to stay with you. And you were like, no, don't break up with me. And I could have stayed with you. Right? Yeah. That would have been dumb. It would have been the stupidest thing I could have done, but I could have done it. But instead I was like, no, if somebody cheats on you, the response cause effect is you break up.

And I'm not super by the book because they would say cheaters never change. But I decided like I was like, I don't believe that rule. Right. You can do what serves you at the time. But I do think that was important that we took that break because it made everything after that so much sweeter. A year is a long time. Yeah. That's a really good amount of time to let it marinate and change. It was a shitty year. Yeah. Like a month. I feel like some people get back together after like a month, a few weeks. Like, I don't think that's enough to like really get it through someone's head. Yeah.

No, no. And you have to, and people sometimes look at us and they're like, you guys have such a good marriage. And I'm like, don't think that we didn't work our ass off for this. Right. Still do all the time. It's like, we're not bearing the fruit probably till we're 70. You know, you're constantly planting seeds. Like, well, we will be planting seeds for a long time, but somebody asked an interesting question on the Instagram. And it said, um,

One of you wants to move abroad for your job and one of you wants to stay stateside. How do you pick without resentment? What would you say to that? Well, I would just because we've moved so much. And I think a big part of that is when I went away to college, I realized what,

did for me and the growth, I would wonder like, why stay here? Why stay in America? Like, you know, America is not leaving. Your home's not going anywhere. So just go take a risk and have some fun while you can, if you can. Like, if it makes sense and you guys are both able to do that, then absolutely just go is what I would say. I would encourage it.

Do you encourage couples to try new things and to go? Why not? Like worse comes to worse. You go over there for a month or two. You hate it and you come back.

Okay, so Graham and I made a really bad move into a really shitty part of Los Angeles and absolutely hated it. But what we kept telling each other was, don't take this like... We were like, let's not make this more than a thing than it is. We're going to move again. Not a big deal. But if we get scared of moving because we made one bad move, then we'll resent us as a whole. We were like, we don't want...

We want to embrace risk always. So just because we had one bad move, everyone's going to have one bad move. But like keep taking the risks and doing things. But did I answer your question or did it was it different? No, you answered it. That's right. Now, but what would you say to this? What if the person that doesn't want to move is like, yeah, I mean, my mom's sick. Yeah, I totally understand. Like what would you say to that? Would you say let's weigh let's weigh pros cons. Let's talk to them all. Like, how do you how are you working through that with me?

That would be tough. I mean, it's all dependent on like the relation. That's tough. I think the most important part of the question is without resenting the other one. So how are we not going to resent? Well, so say I'm taking care of my mom and she's on her deathbed.

And we're dating at the time and you're like, see, I'm going to Europe. I'd be like, see, like help, you know, like give me some time here. Right. My mom's almost gone or like it's she's got a year left at best. Like I would expect that from you. Like if you really wanted to be with me, you would also care for me and for my mom. Like you would support us. So like I would have some resentment if you did leave in that moment.

Yeah. Loving the person is loving the family. Absolutely. Like even if you don't completely get along, like if they didn't get along with each other, it's like, that's a family. Right. And think about, I guess, I guess the answer to the question is put yourself in other shoes and the other person's shoes for a second. Really think about it from that angle and then sit down and meet in the middle and be like, I see where you're coming from, but also you see where I'm coming from. But there's so many different factors. I mean, it could, and we don't need to get into it, but

The mom could maybe never be in that person's life. And you could be blue in the face telling me, like, let's go. Like, this is silly. Like, we got to go. And so that I would understand, too. I mean, you got to make the decision for yourselves as a couple. Right. What's best for you all. Right. And you can't worry about what your parents think or what, you know, your sisters or brother or friends think like.

At the end of the day, it's you and I. So you've got to make the best move for yourselves. You've got to be very selfish. That was something that we struggled with early on, was being concerned with what other people thought. Yeah. And we had to... I think it took time, but we realized...

Like it doesn't we can't be concerned with what our friends think because we're never going to please them all. We might as well please ourselves. Yeah, I think also it's like people asking us when we're going to move back to Oklahoma. And that's a great question. Like I would ask us that, too. But, you know, just because some people live there and it's what they do doesn't mean we're supposed to. And since we're from there, like we have to go back to Oklahoma. Right. Right.

That was harsh. We'll cut it. Was it harsh? I didn't think. No, it wasn't, I guess. It's true. I guess also being friends of people, it's like you don't expect anybody to do anything besides what makes sense for them. Oh, absolutely not. And no one was expecting us to. I think that was all in our own heads. Okay, that's probably true. What did you mean before when you said people expected, like you didn't care what people expected of you? What kind of things did people expect?

I think people expect the traditional timeline or more stability or... Like, how many of your friends have kids? My friend's four.

Wow. Yeah. But I'm, but I, so by Midwest standards, we were married at a normal age. Yeah. But out here we are like one of the only married people in this office. Um, very early. So early. So it's just different, right? Like where we're from. Well, what, how old were you when you got married? 25, 26, 26 and 25. Yeah. Yeah. 26, 25. Okay. Yeah. Um,

And then I think after you get married, I think people think like, well, shouldn't you have kids X amount of times after that? And it's like, no. Like, what are these timelines? You know, I know plenty of people out here that marry, they got married at 38. You know? I think back...

we grew up with in Oklahoma. So we just see that growing up. Like we see that kind of system of marriage and it is, you get married at, at that age, like 22, then you do have the kids and you send them to the same high school you went to. Right. So like, that's the timeline we have in our minds because that's just how we saw it get done over and over again. Yeah. I think, I think one thing that's really important to us is looking at,

The way not the way our parents did things, because Graham and I are fortunate. Both of our parents are very happily married. Like we have great examples of love and marriage. But you can look at the way people ahead of you did things. But pretty much marriage. I think the biggest moral of this story is marriage can be what you want to make it. Yes. Just because your parents did a certain way doesn't mean you have to do it that way.

No. It's up to you how you want marriage to be. And it's up to like, just because your best friend does it one way. Yeah. My best friend, when she got married, asked me a bunch of questions. I don't know if she took any of it or not. Doesn't matter, right? Like Sydney gets to do what she wants in her marriage and Graham and Alex gets to do exactly what we want to do and what works for us. It's all different. It's all completely different, but it's, I think it's,

I always thought as a little girl, I would imagine my wedding day and I imagined like the white dress, but I never imagined what happened after that. I never even cared. I never even thought of it. And I have to say sitting here today, like it's so much better than I ever thought. Oh, three years ago, I would have never imagined we were doing this right now. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm glad we did. Like we put ourselves in that position where we are doing this right now, but hell no. I mean, I don't even know where we would have been, but...

Yeah, you always think about the wedding day. Then it's kind of like, what? What's next? Talk about this for a second. Let me talk about it. Okay. You used to be a real wild man. And now you're pretty with it, serious. No, I'm pretty boring. You're not boring. But what changed in you? Did you think it was like a grow up or life will pass you by type thing? Yeah. Okay. If you wouldn't have changed, we couldn't have happened. Right.

Oh, you're talking about pre-marriage? Were you like a party animal? Well, I've kind of changed like a few times because I don't drink now. Yeah, but you were, now that's an extreme, right? I think, don't hear that and think. No, absolutely not. Yeah, don't think Graham doesn't drink because it's better for life. Like there's a whole thing there. That's dumb. Yeah, but I'm just saying, let's say you did still drink. I would count that out of it. The fact you've changed your life a lot. Yeah.

What is that in you? At what point? You mean just each time? No, in college. Think about from where you were freshman year of college. How about that? To now. What's the biggest thing that changed? Did you just realize if you didn't grow up, nothing changes unless nothing changes? What was it?

Yeah, I mean, in college, I was on academic probation twice. And then I ended up on the dean's list last two years. So like, I think part of that is, what are you doing with your life? Are you just going to be a joke? And yeah, life will pass you by like your friends are starting to get jobs or like, you can also see just, you're not that

secure with yourself you know like my relationships weren't that good I wasn't that confident just because I knew I was a shithead and like that's just not a good feeling so you just I would always try to get better and change in the way that best suited me

If that answers your question, I don't know. Yeah, I think that it's vulnerable to say you weren't that confident. Oh, absolutely not. But I would think I was because I had a blast when I went out. And I'd be the one playing the music the loudest or doing these ridiculous dance moves that looked horrible. But I thought I was the life of the party. So then I would get my confidence then. But after that, it's like, wow, not that cool.

Right. And that's good in college. I think a lot... I did that. It's fine to be the life of the party in college. But would you just say you thought...

Like, I think you growing up seriously helped our marriage. And I think a lot of people that listen to this are, I mean, I'm still kind of in this phase, like we're having a lot of fun. Um, but, but you kind of made it an extreme change from that. And the confidence thing I think's real, like looking at yourself and saying, really, am I that confident or am I just having a lot of fun and getting my confidence there? I really want to try to answer your question really well, but I don't understand it right now. Yeah.

What's the difference between living together for a long time and being actually married? Because I know like some people think that, oh, we lived together for four years. Like we're basically married. Like, is that a true statement? I think for me, like the main difference is if you all are dating and you are in love with each other and do live with each other, there's always that thing in the back of your mind that you aren't legally bound to each other. So like if you guys just break up, you're done. And like you can just walk out the door. Whereas if you're married, like that's a whole process.

That's a big difference to me. Huge difference, yeah. When you're dating...

You're like, okay, if you keep fighting and it gets that bad, part of you has to look in the mirror and say, okay, am I going to break up with this person? Or what's the goal? Can I marry this person? That's what you ask yourself. Yeah. I think when you're married, it's okay. We have to work through this because we've got the rest of our lives together for sure. We already made the decision. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. I like that though. Cause like once you're married, you already said yes, you already did it. So how do we make it work?

Where before it's like, will this work? Yes or no? Do I have to do it? Yeah. I've completely, that makes a lot of sense. You're constantly, when you're dating, you're constantly, even when you live together, even if you're like, we're basically married, you're saying we're basically married. Like you're constantly weighing, can this work for what? The golden thing of marriage. Yeah. I mean,

I mean, that's the... When you're married, you're all in. But just because you get married doesn't fix those problems that you had when you were dating. No. So the reverse of that is like how we talked about earlier. We fell into that three-month patch of like being best friends. Yeah. A lot of people are dating somebody and I think like maybe you stopped having sex. Maybe you stopped flirting. You're not fighting. No. But you have to ask yourself, is it spicy? Yeah. And what are we... What's the goal here? Yeah. Yeah.

And do you think people think, if I get married, it'll fix this, or if we have a baby, it'll fix this, it'll reignite the flame? I think they're definitely for reigniting the flame. Like, oh, we're supposed to get married. That will make our relationship better. Let's get married. Or you're a few years into your marriage and things are a little boring. Let's have a kid. That might fix things, but that's just the duct tape.

Because you're not really getting to the root of like what's happening or what's upsetting you. You're just trying to throw in these new different variables in there to spice things up. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. The kid won't. It just piles on. It's like, oh, well, then let's move or let's, you know, we'll buy a car. It's like none of that is helpful. Oh, yeah. That people probably think.

I've done that before where I think buying something could help me and it's like, no, what's really happening? Yes. But do you think people also... If you're dating somebody and you've been dating them for four years and things have gotten complacent and then you're like, but it's okay, I'll just marry him. It's fine, I'll just be married to my best friend. It won't be that spicy. You think that's a bad idea? Yeah, I would just feel bad for the both of them just because there could be so much more there. And I definitely...

feel sorry for the couple that's like that and then doesn't break up because they're worried about like, oh, I'll never be able to find another person or this person has known me for four years. Like we get along like it's fine. Like we know each other enough, like might as well get married. But really, you should go out there and get what you want.

that's the question of how do I know if they're the one? If it's not, you'll know in your head. You know. It's like hell yes. It's like going off. If you're like staying up late at night or you're on a walk and you're thinking like, is this person the one? Probably not. Now there might be things that that other person can do that could get you to believe that he or she is the one, but it's a feeling that you can't describe it. Like this is the person I want to marry and this is the person I want to be with forever. Yeah. And you can't like,

And that's going to take time. And you know it when you have it. And you can ask some friends for advice and things like that. But nobody can tell you what your heart tells you. No, advice is great if you want to talk things out. But it's your relationship. And every single relationship is different. Like friends that come to me for advice, I always tell them, like, this is my experience with things. But, like, at the end of the day, it's just you. So do what you need to do.

You have to write your own rule book. Yeah. No one else is in that relationship, but yourself. Right. Yeah. And you know your heart. Yes. If people's advice to me would have been, you break up with Graham and never go back to him. Yeah. And it's like, that wasn't what worked for me. Like my heart wanted you. So you have to follow that. Yeah. Even if it's the unpopular opinion or choice, like do what you need to do. And if your friends don't support, I didn't have a friend that didn't support me. It was lovely. But if your friends don't support your choice in that aspect, I think...

I don't know. Actually, I don't know what I want to say there. It's tough. Like, yeah, because, you know, if a friend, if your friend doesn't support, doesn't like your husband or the person that you want to marry, like the person you're choosing at a certain extent, you, you do, you have to choose love forever. I mean, that's the most important thing, but I think it depends what friend it is.

And what are that? What is the friend's reasons? Like, is it stuff like, oh, he just doesn't talk that much or like he's just not that fun to be around? Or is he an asshole? You know, like those are two completely different things. Or did that or did that friend's parents do exactly what's happening here? And it's just like hit a nerve. Yeah. Too many factors.

At the end of the day, it's none of our business what other people are doing in their relationship. Yeah, you have to handle yours. Yes. And friends need to respect that. Ultimately, the friend needs to respect what you want to do. Yes. I do think that's the golden rule.

And just get over it for us. Like if we don't like a relationship, get over it. I wish it was that simple. Just get on over it. Well, I mean, it kind of is that simple. Like, yeah, we care for the person and we love them and want what's best for them. But like if they think what's best for them is being with someone that they love and they really think they found true love, then who are we to say no?

no, don't be with that person. Right. That's so unfair. It'd have to be huge. You'd have to know something. It'd have to be huge. Yeah. In order to intervene. Otherwise, let them do their thing. Yes. When do you think it's appropriate to end a marriage? Oh, shit. Yeah, because I was telling you before that someone DM'd something about how their husband is out of work right now, not looking for another job, complacent in not having a job, and she's the breadwinner and also cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and he's just basically sitting there, and she's like...

what is this? Like to me, I read that and I was like, leave him. But like, is that too, is that jumping to conclusions? Like, I mean, I think that's a good initial reaction. What you had is like, okay, well, you know, get on with your life. But what have you all been doing to like, what has that person done to help things get better? Like, have they been going to therapy, couples therapy or just therapy by themselves? Are they trying to help him find a job or even though he's complacent, like,

If you if they've been trying and there's no middle ground, then I think at that point and it's been like a year, then it's time to consider leaving that person. What would you think? I would think one root cause is he depressed? Like, yeah, you have to go to his root cause. Once you've done that, I would say exhaust all resources. And then from there, like at some at some point, you can't run your life.

like misery loves company. If he's going to stay like that, she's miserable, miserable. But I hope also that she's like expressing that misery and like fighting for it. And yeah, that's what I wonder. It's like getting on Instagram and being like, this is what's happening. And I haven't told him I'm just sitting here doing it like a robot. That's so true. You got to tell him. Yeah. Then it's not fair if she,

That's a good point. Say it. Does he know how you feel? Does he know you submitted that on Instagram? Yeah. You know, if so, then maybe you got a problem. And like, are you at home saying, oh, honey, it's fine. Like, I have no problem taking care of the kids and going to work and you hanging out. Right. Like... Yeah. You got to address it. Fuck up. Hopefully... No. What? Hopefully there's...

What? Never a time to divorce. That's the idea, of course. Yeah, that's the idea. Of course, yeah. There's going to be lots of hardships, but you're going to go through it with somebody. So pick your person and then put your bootstraps on and go through it with them. I want you to get more into the social aspect of being married and the difference between dating and for your relationship after the wedding. Because for me, when I think about it, it stops at the wedding. Okay. Okay.

Or a lot of people think of it that way. Like, the wedding is the goalpost. You know what I mean? Like, what's after that that makes it better? Like, I know a lot of people that are just obsessed with their wedding. Like, all they talk about every day is the things leading up to their wedding. And it's like, do you even love him? Right. Like, what's going to happen after that? I don't know. Okay. That's a good question. Like, I don't know anyone that's, like, married and, like, still fun and, like, nothing's changed. Like...

You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? Yeah, no, it does. It's just foreign to me, so I'm just curious about it. I want you to talk about your relationship more. Okay. Okay, so leading up to the wedding, we were pretty obsessed with the wedding, as a lot of people are. Yeah, very excited. Yeah, excited about it. What would you say changed afterwards, and then us socially? Us socially? Well, just...

I mean, doing everything together, but like of what the goalpost is, like if you're thinking the wedding is the goalpost, like then that's it. I think that's true for a lot of people. For you and I, it's like every so often for sure for New Year's resolutions, we sit down and kind of audit the year and think about what we did and didn't do what we want to do. And then we support each other all the way through. Like we also on the support side of things like,

for a while we try to keep ourselves accountable or each other accountable and realize like that does not work. Um, the example is like if,

If I was a pro basketball player and I needed help with my free throws and I asked you to come help me, like all you're going to do is rebound. I'm not going to take your advice for how to shoot a free throw. Like that's unfair. Like I would get a coach that has years and years of experience. So like the accountability can go down a bad road. What we can do is just be extremely loving and supportive and just help each other fulfill those goals.

We did try where like I needed an accountability partner. I was eating a lot of sugar and I felt like shit from it. And so I was like, you can't let me eat the sweet stuff anymore because the next day I feel like shit. And then I would get mad at him if I ate it. And he was like, totally unfair. He's like, I can't be four grams. Therapist has really actually taught us all these lessons. He is the best, but yeah.

But you can't be my accountability. I have to do my own thing. You can support me. Support you in any way and encourage you and do everything with you and try to help you. But like, I'm not your accountability person. No. Yeah. So socially. Socially, what changes? I think a good example is we're going to be back for Miami when you're listening to this. And Graham's like, I want to go out to the clubs. I cannot wait to go to the clubs. And I heard 11 strip club. Strip club. Like, what?

Why not just go and have fun? I don't drink. So if that is missing. It's not missing. No, they know that. Yeah. So like people are like probably thinking, you know, we're going to go to the beach walk. You'll have a cocktail dinner and then it's a night. Like, no, no, I want, I love still having experiences and going out and doing things like that.

Yeah, we do. We go out a lot. We love. I went out with you two the other night. Yeah, that's right. And Mike. And Mike and Jordan. And we love going. One thing we're not good at is couples dinners. I was just going to ask you that. That's crazy. Like, do you find yourself hanging out with couples more? Yeah. Like in groups, say, like, who are you making plans with?

I guess not in New York because maybe it's a little different. Like you're new here. Maybe you don't have as many friends. Yeah, I think it depends on where we live. At home, if we were in Oklahoma, we have a lot of couple friends there, right? Built-in ones. We'd hang out with them a lot. But here, okay, so Graham's not that social. Zero friends. Zero friends. Pretty big introvert. Mike's my best friend. That's so funny.

Oh my God. It's funny. Every time he meets somebody new, he's like, you're literally, I'm closest with you currently. Coming here, I was like practicing what I'd say to Big Cat. Yeah, Graham said Big Cat once. That's so funny. Twice. And I'm like, okay. But you, we don't do couples dinners because it's either we go out together and we are not afraid. Like on New Year's, like we went out, out. Yes. Rooftop. We love to go out. Yeah.

But you don't like couples' dinners. No, couples' dinners are tough for me, especially if I don't know the person that well. No, that's not true. Shit. Do we get into this? I could have no problem going on a couple dinner with Alana and Mike because it's a new relationship. But sadly, if I knew her for three years...

I don't really want this to go. Yeah, you don't like... That's a little harsh, but... I go to girls' dinners all the time because I love going to dinner, but you don't really care to go to dinner much. You don't like being forced to hang out with Alex's friend's husband. Correct. Or boyfriend. Correct. Yeah. Correct. Kind of correct. But I do say, I will say, I would enjoy... Like, if you...

Alana and Jordan went out to dinner. I had no problem joining that dinner. My feelings were hurt when you all went to dinner last time and I didn't get invited. Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. We needed some girl time. Like this last week, you hung out with a new friend and I didn't get invited. No. Yeah. And then you were sad and I didn't realize. That's kind of boring for you. It's like, Hey, my husband who doesn't have friends is coming along.

You have friends, just not here. No, I do have friends. You're in school. Yeah. So you haven't made friends in New York yet. But yeah, you're... Okay, so Graham charges, recharges being alone. Yes. You're also about... You got about... You're the kind of guy that likes really good best friends, not a lot of friends. Yes, for sure. Quality over quantity in that department. Yeah, and somebody once... Yeah, somebody said too, when you get married, like you get no alone time.

Yeah. And well, there's two things like we will talk about the alone time and then like being able to go out freely, the alone time. So this is good because we live in the, you know, a smaller apartment with each other. Sometimes when we need a load alone time, you'll just text me and be like, hey, can I have the apartment for one more hour?

Totally. Like I just needed to have some time. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what do you do? Just go walk around? I'll just go walk around. And I have no problem with that. I'll go on a walk or like Washington Square Park and just sit on a bench. Cry? No, I'm just hanging out. The last time the kids were dancing all this music. It was fun. No, you enjoy it. Yeah, but you also need to express that.

Or I can just get on your nerves and I won't know it. Yeah, I might as well just, I realize that. When we first got here, I was like, what if I just text him? I don't think he'll be mad. And you're like, okay. Yeah, and that's perfect. And I did that in California too. But going out freely, like,

You tell me all the times when you want to go out with friends. Like, that's not a problem. No, I'll just be having a girl's night. Yeah. And he's like, okay. Yeah, that's great. Maybe you can come later. Meet up with us. Yeah. And you're like, perfect. Perfect. It does. But also that's nice for us because like you said earlier, I do recharge that way. You're okay being at home alone. So it's not like I'm anxious at home and sad that I'm just by myself. Like I'm having a good time. Yeah.

And sometimes I'm just laying on the couch. Yeah, chugging Diet Dark Trevor, watching movies. Yeah. It's just all so foreign to me, so I just like to hear you talk about it. Because, like I said, I don't know anyone that's married. I think that... What about the day-to-day? Like, we wake... Like, okay, it's fun because I don't like alarm clocks. And so he wakes me up in the morning. Like, he goes to the gym before we come back, wakes me up in the morning. Like, I love...

I love our routine. Yeah. Yeah. I love being your alarm clock. I can tell if your mouth is open or closed, how much time you need. If your mouth is open, you get at least like 15 more minutes. But then, yeah,

Yeah. You do your meditation and journal and I keep on reading news. And then around 830, we make breakfast together. Yeah. And it's on your way. I think the foundation, no, structure is the foundation for spontaneity. I love that. Yes. If we can have structure in the morning and a little bit of structure at night from there, the rest of it, we're not very routine and we're always trying to do stuff that's fun. Yes. Always trying new things. Yeah. Yeah.

Doing new things. And like when I'm at work during the day, like he'll DM me stuff and like, or send me TikToks and things like that. Like we're just constantly communicating. I try to find your outfits. Loves. Yeah. I love to shop for you. I like that. You do love to shop for me. That's a new thing, which I think that's a form of flirting. Yeah. Cause you're like, I think this would be so stinking cute on you. And I try it on. You're like, I love it. Even if I don't love it, I keep it. Cause you thought it was cute. No, I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's us. That's us. That's the Bennett's. What are you doing later? Well, I just got in. My favorite ice cream is It's It's Ice Cream. And they just came out with their new minis. Oh, they're ice cream sandwiches. Yeah, ice cream sandwiches. So I was going to eat like five of those. You're going to eat five ice cream sandwiches? They're just vanilla. Oh. Yeah, they're oatmeal cookies. Ooh.

Ooh, that sounds really good. And they're tiny. Wait, where's that? They're so good. They're based out of San Francisco. Oh. Family-owned company. They've been there forever. And they do have a few stores in New York, but I just order them online. Oh, okay. Oh, and they come cold and frozen? Oh, frozen. Yeah.

Oh, okay. So they're great. That sounds really good. I'll get you some. No free ads but that. No, it wasn't a free ad. I'm kidding. I just love it. It's ice cream. It's a joke to say no free ads and then give the free ad. It was an ad. It was. It was. Full blown an ad. It was an advertisement. We'll send it to them and see if they'll sponsor us. How about that? How about it? You never know. Like, comment, subscribe.

Leave a review. Like, comment, subscribe. Leave a review on both Spotify and Apple. Or wherever you listen to podcasts. Or wherever you listen to it. And subscribe to the YouTube channel. Yes, that would be very nice. And Jordan will be back next week. Graham and I just got back from Miami when you're listening to this. It's officially summer because it was Memorial Day. And the Bennetts love you guys. Love you guys.