Is Gossip Bonding? (ft. Can You Tape Down A Boner?)
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Ego compares you to other people your ego is like comparing you to like oh I'm better than her this way but your self-esteem compares you to you like where you're like but how am I doing in life where am I at you're really throwing me through a loop in this episode sorry I'm sorry hey guys welcome back to another episode of mean girl podcast

Happy Monday. Happy Monday, or whenever you're listening to this. That's true. We are presented by, let's just do it, Pink Whitney. Cheers. Cheers. If you go out this weekend, take a shot of Pink Whitney. It's pink. Good. And also, remember to tell us if you shoot your shot...

Slide into our DMs and tell us how you did because we want to repost you. A few people did that and it was really cool to read their like little things of what they did. No. Yes, it's great. I'm banning myself from saying hundo pee. Sorry. Why? I don't know. Like, do you want me to respond to hundo pee too? Yeah, bet. Bet. Slay. I was in Florida this weekend and I learned some Florida slang and I was like...

They're like, run it back. Bet. And I was like, all right. Okay, cool. All right, let's do it. Let's just dive right into how your weekend was. Oh, yeah. On that note. Yeah. So another weekend goes by where we did not see each other. And yet another summer weekend where Jordan travels. When I moved to New York City, everyone was like, New York City on the weekend is dead. Everyone leaves. And I'm like, no, no, no. You're lying. I've not been here.

one weekend in the summer. These are summer weekends. Oh, sorry. Did I say that? You just forgot the word summer, which is pivotal because in the winter we're all here. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. New York in the summer. No one is here. And I didn't believe people because I was like, there's no way everyone leaves. I haven't been here one weekend since my birthday. And I, I'm only here one more weekend until Labor Day or until after Labor Day. That's

that's true you are you've been traveling a lot where where were you this weekend so this past weekend I was in Florida with Sydney Wells who does barstool outdoors she does a segment called out of office where she takes barstool employees Alex was supposed to come but she's training for rough and rowdy so she wasn't able to but she takes barstool employees out of the office and puts them in um an environment that they're not used to so obviously me I went fishing um

hunted some fish shot some fish with a bone arrow show your bruise oh yeah it's kind of gone now but you can kind of see battle wound battle wound because i shot a fish with a bone arrow that is so cool and you hit the fish right i hit the fish and to be clear before people come for me the fish is an invasive species it's destroying the environment so it's a fish that they actually if you do catch want you to remove from the water because it's hurting the environment so badly we should be thanking you yes you should be thank you our heroes you're welcome our very

Our very own in-house hero removing bat species from the water. That's not something... That's a shoot your shot. Cheers. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I definitely shot my shot because, I mean, I think it's pretty clear that I am not an outdoorsy girl.

Not your average fisherman, Jordan Woodruff. But hey, I'm killing it in Barstool's Most Dangerous Games, and it was just in the outdoors. Oh, please plug Barstool's Most Dangerous Games. Please. Thank you. Oh, yeah. So last week, episode one, two, and three of Barstool's Most Dangerous Games was released. And now this week on Tuesday and Thursday...

Barstool's Most Dangerous Games episodes four and five will be released. The final finale. And if you're like listening to this and you're like I haven't watched any of them just go to YouTube and catch up. Yeah. You can watch them whenever. They're always there. They're very timely. Totally timely. Yeah you can watch it in like a month. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. It's a reality show like Barstool vs. America that Alex did. It was a blast. Very challenging but one of the coolest things that I've done. Joint shot. Yeah.

We're not actually taking the shots. We're just cheersing them. We got to take the drinking back just a little bit until Alex is done with Ruff and Rowdy. Sober? I don't go sober until August 1, but drinking is so miserable right now. I'm just starting now. Yeah, and honestly, Ruff and Rowdy is such an important event. We got to take it serious. Yes, we do. We're buckling down. That's right. I'm actually auctioning off your number right now on my DMs. This guy said, if you win Ruff and Rowdy, I get Jordan's number. And I was like, okay.

I might be blonde, but I'm not an idiot. If Alex wins rough and rowdy or if I lose irrelevant, you can have Jordan's number. If you buy rough and rowdy 90 times and screenshot it to me. And he just responded and said, so $2,700 for Jordan's number. And I'm like, that's right. That's correct. Good math. Okay. At first I was going to say, hell no, do not give my number out to a stranger. But when you, when you led with or ended with the 90 times of him buying it sold, he's going to spend $2,700 for your number.

I am going to give it to him, just by telling you or not. You may!

Thank you. This guy. Okay, I'll send it to him later after you send me the screenshots. Oh my God, I'm dead. Yes. But no, I don't want to talk too much about Florida besides one thing. I mean, I do, but I don't want to spoil it because Sydney's coming out with a full episode of what we're doing. Yeah, don't spoil it. But I have a story. Oh. Okay, so something really weird happened. We were on a boat and it was a nice boat. We went to the deep sea. We went to the middle of the ocean. Yeah.

I'm going to check on how far out you were. We only went four miles. I was going to say, I'm going to text her and say, how deep in the ocean were we? But the bottom of the boat had like a rough surface. You know how like there's like a surface so like you can't slide? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Protective surface. Yes. And Sydney and I were washing the boat bare feet.

Washing the boat. Sorry, we were washing the boat, like scrubbing it, cleaning it, but we were bare feet doing it. Got it, got it. So our feet were rubbing. Okay, I hate this. No, I really don't. I don't even want to know the end of the story, but tell us. So the reason I'm bringing this up because Sydney's like, you have to talk about it on the podcast. So our feet were scraping the bottom and it happened to me, but she brought it up because I was embarrassed. You got turned on? No, it started making us like tingle.

Like, you know how some people are like, if you do certain workouts, you can start to feel like an orgasm coming on? Yes. That happened when our feet were scraping the bottom. Who brought it? Who said it first? Sydney said it to me. And she goes, Jordan, do your feet feel weird? And I go, are you kidding me? I was like, I didn't want to say anything because I felt like a psychopath, but I feel like I'm about to cum. What? Yes. From the bottom of the boat. From the bottom of the boat. So we're like, are there certain... If you're a doctor, I want to know, are there certain things on the bottom of your feet that...

alert you your pressure signals? Yes! What?

Okay, that's so, I have never, speaking of like, I've heard the ab thing where you sit in the chair and you lift your legs up. I heard that's like, if you see somebody doing it, they're basically like jacking off in their mind. Yeah, that's what happens to me. Does it? Yeah. So the bottom of the boat did the same thing to you? Yes, but it was even more intense. Like we both were like, all right, we got to stop doing this. Sydney was like, I have to go call my boyfriend and go home right now. Like literally, it was bad. What?

It was so weird. So I'm just wondering if there's like weird things at the bottom of your feet. But I was like, you need to go home and ask Graham to like put sandpaper on the bottom of your feet. You have Graham and I trying all of these things. Like, yo, Graham, buy some sandpaper. I'm going to lay on the end of the bed and you're just going to gently rub my feet with it. Can you imagine?

No, I can't imagine this new. I will. I will, for the sake of the podcast, attempt sandpaper at the bottom of my feet and let you know what I think. Or like, have them go like this. Okay, I'm to the bottom of my feet. I don't.

Maybe that's why people have foot fetishes. No, maybe it is. They say, well, they say that's, don't they say foot fetishes are just your brain wired one? Cause the, the feet and like the orgasm component in your brain are like right beside each other. So a foot fetish is just the plug in your brain. It's like the wrong, it just got wired wrong. Well, you just answered my questions. Probably maybe my brain, since it was like so much sensation on my feet, it was getting confused on where to go. Honest to God, it could have been, it could have been hitting both. Yes. It could have been.

Wait, that's actually probably it. Because it was like sending like the, what do you call them? Pleasure signals? Yeah. And it was sending them right up my leg.

But yeah, so Florida was great. I had a great time. I actually did have a great time. I was stranded, delayed for multiple hours in West Palm Beach, and I had an incredible weekend. You can't fly right now when it goes well. If you go to the airport right now, especially if you're going abroad, like, get ready. It's not going to go well. Well, that's why I'm like, when we go to Huntington, West Virginia, I'm like, are we even going to get there? Mainly, most likely not. So speaking of that, how's Rough and Rowdy going?

Okay, Ruffin Rowdy's good. So you just said nobody's here on the weekend and I was laughing to myself because I'm here on the weekend now. Which is rare because I feel like you were so go, go, go before Ruffin Rowdy. It's actually been nice. Like I've just said, of course I could be going to the Shore because we still have the High Noon House in the Jersey Shore, but I've canceled the last two weekends. I'm like, I'm chained to New York City. Graham's been traveling. I'm just going to the gym. I'm like really focused. So it's been nice. Okay.

You came and watched me spar today, which was fun because you got to see like it's real.

And I got my first bloody nose. Like I got knocked in the face and it just was like bleeding, but it wasn't even like the regular kind of bleeding, like snot, you know, like the snot blood like that. I mean, it was just gushing. I saw the picture. Yeah. But, but Leo, my trainer was like afterwards. Cause I started crying when it happened and he's like, are you scared or not? Are you scared? Are you hurt? I said, no, I'm just scared. No, like my nose doesn't hurt. I'm just freaking out.

But I'm getting excited for Ruff and Rowdy. Me too. Are you? You seem like you're into selling the 70K. Well, it took a turn. So I was always excited for you, but actually seeing you in the... Ring. Ring. I say rink. The ring today, it made it come to life. Yeah. And I've seen how much you've improved because when I first saw you sparring, like...

I mean, obviously no one's going to be incredible the first time I saw you improve so much from today. Like you looked like, like you were, you've been training your butt off. You look stronger. You looked faster. And I was like, dang, like it is coming to life. Yeah. And I can't, I've noticed too. Like if I take two days off, I lose something. Really? Yeah. Like I don't have enough time. Cause I can't train for a year. It's a crash course. It's two months. So I'm like, in order to build muscle memory, it has to be every day. I can take one day off a week just to like recover. But I'm like, I have to go.

Like I just go, go, go, go, go, like head down. So that's like I was talking to you about this earlier, but like I love my friends right now. Sorry. That's OK. What? Burping. Oh, you're burping. I was like, what is it? Sorry.

Before the episode was like which I have Never done in public in front of you guys Never you never have it's because I'm Drinking this fucking diet coke we're Trying to stay awake we're tired yes But I was saying how I'm like proud of my Friends right now because I feel like Everyone's giving me space in life and I'm like thank you yeah um okay so my Weekend up so my my shots the bloody Nose sure question how long do you Train for

It's been We're getting more and more Like hour and a half usually Okay Two hours We did two hours on Sunday Cause I feel like Training two hours a day Like it's That is your weekend Yeah

It is because you're so sweaty. You have to go 30 minutes before, like afterwards you have to shower. Like it's like a four hour ordeal. You have to eat after. Have to eat after. And I've just been like getting in bed. Yeah. And watching movies. Yes. That's like all I can do right now. I'm just, I'm just tired, but I'm loving it. Yeah. I'm liking the challenge. My therapist told me that I'm afraid to go 100% at things in life and in the ring because I'm afraid of the danger zone. Have you ever thought about that? It's like if you give it 100%, there's a really big chance you'll fail. Yes. Yeah.

Like, if you stay at 90, you can kind of control it. And then if you go all the way 100, so if you're fully throwing punches, if we're, like, fully putting ourselves out there with this podcast, like, 100%, really big chance we fail. But if we stay at 90, we kind of, like, guard our face or, like, don't put out as much or we don't put out, like, our juicy clips. Yeah. Then we have less of a chance to fail. Wait, that's actually so accurate for you. And we were just talking about this because I feel like with Mean Girl Pod, you...

And I mean this... Just listen before. Like, it's going to sound offensive at first, but just listen. At first, I feel like up until episode, like, 18, you were going, like, 80%. And then all of a sudden, you, like, shot up and started being very vulnerable. You started opening up about your relationship with Graham and yourself, and you just gave it 100, and it's shown off, and now you're, like, going to the moon with it. But I get that. I felt like you were in the danger zone, or the 90% zone for a really long time. Yeah, I protect myself until I'm, like...

I almost get sick of protecting myself. Like I get so annoyed that I'm at 90 that I'm like, what's it take to do 100?

Also, I had to get my confidence back like at Barstool. Like that was the biggest part of that. But it's totally that. It's like you can't do it because you're afraid of what will happen. But it's so liberating. Like the pain of not doing it is so much worse than the pain of doing it. But you don't just go to 100. You go to like 200. You go from like 90 to 200. Yeah, I get obsessive. And I love it. Well, that's your zero to 100 personality right there. That's that. Yeah. So...

Yeah, that is 100% true. I also feel like I need to talk to you about this. This has been a big one. It's terrifying. I know. I'm feeling like a bad spouse, kind of. Okay. Yesterday, Alex goes, I've been a shitty spouse lately. I'm like, well, all right. Please wait and tell me on the podcast. Why? I just feel like I'm only taking...

Have you ever felt like you've been in a relationship where I feel like I'm teetering? No, I'm perfect. Sure. Don't thank you. Next topic. Totally kidding. Not as much in a romantic relationship because in five years, but in friendships, I have yes. Friendships too. It's like, it's odd though, because I'm so happy with what I'm doing. Like I'm loving work and I'm loving the rough and rowdy training, but

And then I go home and I love seeing that kid. Like, I'll always tell him, like, there's nobody else I would have married ever. Like, I would just be single or it's you. And it's like I'm obsessed with him. But I feel like sometimes I'm like, right now, I'm just absorbing you. Like, I don't feel like I'm giving him anything. Does he feel that way? I don't think so. He also recognizes, like, what I'm doing. Like, he's like, you're just, you're spent. Like, that's all, you're doing all you can right now. But he's doing...

He's Graham's doing stuff right now too. Like he's finally getting acclimated to work and I feel like the bear I can ask him about it, but I just feel like a shell kind of like I don't feel like I'm elevating him. Does that make sense? Yeah, but I feel like in relationships that happens like you give and you take and you go through periods where and I'm sure once Ralph and Roddy's done and Graham starts working in the fall, he's going to feel the same way like he's taking from you because he's going to be

learning a whole new type of lifestyle. You know what I mean? That's true. So I feel like that's just like how it works in relationships. Like there is just a period where... I guess that's true. Like it is okay because you're just like, I would want him to have the reverse. Like I would do it for him. Yeah. He's just doing it for me right now. And it's temporary. It's temporary. And like...

You're doing something that's good for you. It's not like you have this bad gambling addiction that you're off doing. You're like, Graham, I just need one more week to win. You're doing something that's so good for you. Wait, that's a really good point. It's not like I'm exhausted because I'm out partying. Yes. Yeah, that's a better way to put it. The gambling addiction is good too. You just made me feel so much better. That's what it is.

And he keeps saying, he's like, I'm nothing but proud of you. Yeah. But I just feel guilty. But you're right. It's a positive thing. It's positive. It's temporary. Also, you're aware of it. And I always think as long as you're aware of it, it makes it 50% better. You know. As long as you're aware, it makes every situation a little bit better. That's very good. Thank you. That was helpful. Okay. That was a good little therapy session. I feel a lot better.

Good. I'm glad I could help. I'm going to fire my therapist. I don't need her. I need you. How is my brain working at 525? I don't know, actually. Good question. Okay. So this weekend, one other thing I did was went to dinner. Oh, I was like, scoot closer to Alex. Get your ass over there, Jordan. Okay.

I went to dinner. You were supposed to come to dinner with our friend, Randy and I, my flight was delayed. Your flight was delayed. But she said something to me that caught my mind, which she was like, do you think guys stay single? Because their friends are single. Like just, she kind of just like said that in passing. And then I was reading the listener questions and somebody said something that sparked, like it was in the same vein. We're going to read it to you. Do I read, can I read this? Yeah, sure. Do you want to read it?

No. Okay, I'm going to read it. What are sexy things guys do that they have no idea are sexy to girls? Like favorite colognes or scents or things like that. And all of this just made me think of like group think, how girls view guys, guy gaze, male gaze, female gaze. And I just think we would be remiss if we didn't talk about it. Okay, I'm so excited to talk about this. Also, I feel like what guys think is...

So what we think we do is sexy isn't what guys find sexy. And what we find sexy in guys isn't what they think girls think is sexy. Does that make sense? Yes, that's absolutely true. Yes. We all think like, I think if I do this, it's so hot. But guys are like, no, you need to do this to turn me on. You know what I mean? Right. And vice versa for guys. Like the most obvious glaring one is like, I think I should be skinny for guys. And guys are like, can you get an ass? Literally. Please get an ass on you. Literally. Like even the, like, you know, like.

We have that food clip from episode 25. Yeah. Episode, we don't know. The last one. I was like, the last one. I was first embarrassed to post it because I was like, no, guys are going to be so turned off. And then I was like, no, I feel like guys love when girls eat. Literally...

No, it's, that's so, I think so. Like we want, I was talking to Chuck that works here today. He's like, you know, sometimes girls think we need to have like these small toned arms and it's like, guys want us to have an, like an ass on us. Like Graham's like, if you, can you please eat some? Yes. Whoa.

That's a bow and arrow bicep. That's a bow and arrow. That's a shooter bicep. But it's like such a misconception because I'm like, when did girls think we should be skinny? When guys are sitting there being like, can we please get some curves? Like they want to like grab curves. Like they don't want to grab you and it's like bone. Yeah. If I was a lesbian, I wouldn't want bone. No, I would be like, I want like thick. Like I want to like slap the ass. Yes. Or like you would want to play with those titties. Yes. Like that's, I wish, I wish when I gained weight, they went to my boobs.

Where did they go? It goes to like my thighs, which is fine. That's good too. Graham loves that. He's like, that's great. But I wish it went to my tits so bad. It might eventually. I don't, I'm trying. Your boobs look incredible in that blue sports bra you had on today. I am not going to lie. Some,

Something is happening in the past like three months where my boobs are getting like slightly bigger. It could be they're getting perkier from you increasing your chest strength. Wow. I will take that. No, I'm serious. Like because you're working your pectorals and your pectorals lift your boobs up. Okay, I will never stop boxing. That's why if you get boob jobs, females aren't allowed to do chest work or they shouldn't do chest workouts because like you can't work that pectoral area anymore because you have a boob job.

B-Y. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That might be, that could be it. Yeah, they're getting a little perkier. Yeah, I saw them in that blue sportswear. I was like, wow, they look so good. Thank you. You're welcome. They look lifted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want them to look lifted. Yeah, yeah. I want to be able to not wear a bra and they stay lifted.

I don't know if that will ever happen. Yeah, it might not. But if it does, it probably will fall like they'll sag again eventually. Yeah, that's going to suck. But that's one thing that I think girls think. Okay, have you ever heard the saying like, I'm not who I think I am and I'm not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am. Please say that one more time. Okay, so I'm not who I think I am. Wait, wait. You're not who you think you are. Not who you think you are. Okay. Okay.

I'm also not who you think I am. I'm also not who you think I am. Okay. I am who I think you think I am.

A mathematical equation Alex Have you thought about that though I don't understand the last part Okay Like if you think I'm a bitch If I think you think I'm a bitch Then to me I'm a bitch Correct If I'm like Jordan thinks I suck at podcasting If I think you think that Then you're like I suck at podcasting Then I think that Oh so I think So I think that you think I'm dumb I'm dumb Yeah Okay You're letting that like get to you That's how I think The male female gaze is Mm-hmm

Like, we think guys want a skinny girl, therefore we're like, let's be skinny. But nobody's ever asked a guy. And I think guys think girls want a jacked guy. But I don't think most girls do. Wait, you guys are just, like, blowing my mind. Oh, my God. Guys totally think. Like, guys that are like that are just, they're falling into the male gaze. Mm-hmm.

And so are we, I guess, if you want to be stick skinny, that's also like the female gaze. I was working out this morning and there's a lot of guys obviously at the gym. And I remember this one guy, this is kind of mean, but this one guy walked past me and he was very in shape, like credible body. But I was like, I don't think, I think that's a trap. Like he wouldn't be my type because he's too in shape.

Yes, do you think there's such... Which I'm not body shaming. No, you guys look great. He looks hot. It's like hot as hell. Yeah, but don't you think there's such thing as like...

almost too pretty of a boy to where you're like, you can't possibly care that much about what you look like. A guy cannot be prettier than me. Yeah. And there's a lot of guys who are. And they like try so hard to be. And I'm like, I want a guy that just like wants a burger, you know, like just is like chilling, wants to watch a movie, doesn't like have to go to the gym. I actually really like the taller, leaner guy or the taller...

I don't want to say dad bob, but, like, he has, like, the strong arms, strong back, but, like, he doesn't have a six pack by any means. What's, like, the number one thing a guy can do that turns you on? Okay, I don't want to say, like, number one because I have so many, but when a guy has a hat on, takes his front, takes it off, fixes his hair, and then puts his hat backwards...

My God. That's what does it for you. That is like the hottest thing a guy can do. So that has, and I think that would be important for guys to know that that has nothing to do with their body. No. That's just like a little swag front to back.

Like I don't know what it is. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, 100%. I can picture it in my head. I don't know what it is, but when they take off their hat and fix their hair and put it backwards or vice versa, I just am like, please don't do that ever again. Oh, you know what it is for me? What? If they can make a decision. Like being decisive, being like we're going to do X, Y, and Z or like having your – just like taking care of business for you. When Graham does that, I'm like I'm melting. A guy taking care of you? Oh, yeah.

I will say that is a huge, that is a huge trend. That's why I tend to lean towards older men because they tend to be more decisive there. They, they have a little bit more experience under their belt. I agree with that. I just think if a guy, if you, if you were like, you can have a really in shape chiseled guy, or you can have a guy that has a great personality, decides where you're going to eat, takes care of you. I'm like, dude, get the looks out the window. Let's go over here. Like that's so, I just, I love that. Yeah. I feel like there's nothing hot.

Back to confidence. Nothing harder than confidence. Nothing harder than confidence. So also this weekend, I was going to dinner and I was walking there and I passed this table and there were these two girls sitting there and it was these two girls and they were talking so much shit about a girl that wasn't there. And we kept walking and I was just laughing at myself and I was like, isn't that funny? Those two girls probably think they're bonding.

over talking about that one girl that's not there and they're not bonding at all like that's a false sense of bonding doesn't it crack you up when people like prey on somebody else even their misfortune like have you ever done that too where you're like oh so-and-so's not doing well like if Graham and I were like so-and-so's having trouble in their marriage but like we're doing well it's like you think you're propelling yourself in life but you're staying the exact same like you didn't get any better because they were doing worse and

And like the two girls weren't getting closer because they were talking about somebody else. Oh, yeah. I mean, it even goes into like when people say we trauma bonded or, for example, you go on a trip for work and you all hang out. But then you come back, you don't talk or like people always make the comment like, oh, we're elevator friends. Because it's like it's fake bonding because you bonded in a situation that isn't relative to what you act like.

In the world, if that makes sense. Okay, yes. I went all the way around with that. Well, okay, this is what I think, though. I think we joke sometimes, we say you and I are trauma-bonded.

Yeah. Which I, what I like about that scenario is we had to really find out who each other were in like a scenario of adversity. Oh, we like built a relationship about around it. Yeah. Correct. Or like if you're, if you go through like a shitty flying scenario and you're like, we were in the airport for 24 hours, but I saw when shit hit the fan sheet at X, Y, Z. But if you and I were sitting here just like gossiping about a third person that wasn't there, it's like, we're not actually bonding, but you feel like you are.

Yeah. Have you ever been in that scenario where you think you and your friends are like texting about this other person and you think like we've gotten closer but afterwards don't you just feel terrible? A hundred percent. I have plenty of friends, not so much in my life anymore, that when I think about like we would sit and talk, I'm like what do we actually do when we hang out? We literally just bitch and moan about the same person or the same thing. And then when you brought this up a few days ago, I just started thinking about

people in my life and there are definitely people where you think about your conversation you have with them and you're like wait all we know how to do is talk about this person or this thing we have nothing in common yes and that's that's that saying that's that small minds talk about people and

And then big minds, I think they say big minds talk about ideas, but I just like to say big minds talk about everything else. Yeah. Like if you, if you have that friend that you're constantly just gossiping with and you think about it and you're like, if we eliminated the topic of other human beings, what would you talk to him about? Exactly. Do you still have something that you would talk to them about? Nothing. Job. Or it even goes to, do I have anything going on in my life? Right. Like if you have no other topic besides to talk about other people.

um you know my boy ed mylet that i love yes he says ego compares you to other people your ego is like comparing you to like oh i'm better than her this way but your self-esteem compares you to you like where you're like but how am i doing in life like where am i at you're really throwing me through a loop in this episode i'm sorry i'm sorry wait wait okay so your ego compares you to other people i totally get but your self-esteem compares you to yourself he's like where are you where are you at

Rafa Mirati has me just reading a lot. I'm just not doing anything. That's so true. I also think about it even when I go on dates. Like I've been on dates with people who just bitch and moan. And I've gone on dates with people who have intellectual conversations. I'm not going to keep going out with a person who bitches and moans. I'm like, why would I want to waste two hours of my day just being negative and talking to you about that when I can have meaningful conversations with big-minded people? Big-minded people. It's like, it's so funny to think about because when you leave...

Okay, I caught myself doing this, actually. And everyone, I think, does. But sometimes I would be so mentally exhausted from work, I would go home with Graham and I'd be like, can we just talk about... It was a mental break for me. You should say pizza. People. I'd be like, can I think of something dramatic to talk about? Because it gave myself a break. Yeah. And I thought, how...

A, I felt terrible afterwards. Like you think when you're gossiping about how bad someone else is doing or something you don't like about them that you're getting better. And it's like you're getting so much worse. Like you feel so much worse. 100%. I even, not so much now, more so when I was in high school and maybe in college a bit, I would have friends where if their name lit up on my phone, I'm like, here goes another bitch session or hear them. Here's them complaining about X, Y, and Z. Again, where I would be like, I can't.

I can't. Like the text is not going to say, hey, how's your day? No. It's going to be like, oh my God, did you see so-and-so on Instagram? Yes. And you're just like, no, I didn't see it. Which would bring more stress to my life because there was more problems that I didn't want to deal with that now I have to deal with because you are inserting me into this conversation that I don't want to be in. Yes. I used to think, I used to think like real freedom was like saying whatever I wanted. Yeah. And now I'm like real freedom is having the discipline to,

to not say it because the more I talk about other people, the less I feel like myself. So I'm like freedom for me is not talking about other people. Cause I feel more like Alex. Like if I can't compare or talk about other people, I have to just look at me.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm just like, no, how are you doing? No, don't talk about them. Like, you're not getting any better. And so I'm like, freedom. I used to, I literally would think it just like letting it fly. Yeah. But it's like gossip feels so shitty that being actually free is shoving it back in your mouth, not talking about other people and like forcing yourself to feel your raw feelings. Do you want to know what I do when I want to talk about people? What? So like, obviously there comes a time and a place where it is okay to vent about people to your friends. 100%. We all do that. It's not, please.

Please don't listen to this and think we're not saying that. Be human. But we're more so talking about like when you have a friend that you just literally complain about every single day. It's like just end the friendship. Like you obviously don't like them. Yeah. Just end it. Yes. That false feeling of like thinking you're elevating yourself with the person at the table when it's like you're not. Like pity things. But sometimes all friends bother you. That's totally normal. But what I do now is I will type the text to the friend I'm going to vent to. And I'll like let it sit.

I'll delete it or I'll save it in my notes. And if I still feel that way the next day, I'll send it because I've realized I'm definitely someone who like jumps things.

I'm very dramatic. I jump to the conclusion or jump to my anger. It's the best to me. And I've realized if I let it sit for 24 hours, I will not feel that way the next day. You probably won't send a text at all. I never do. Yeah. And it makes me feel so much better because I have less drama in my life. I've almost sent so many texts, but what I'll do is I'll save it in a note or type it out like I'm sending and then just put it away. And the next day, I'm like, wait, please.

I don't even need to deal with that anymore. It's not even that big of a deal. That's so true. You probably feel like, don't you think when you send those little texts, like Instagram, I feel like started this for everybody. You're like, did you see what so-and-so, did you see who so-and-so is with on Instagram? Okay. So you just took like part of your brain and then took up that much space with the person you're going to sit there and text for an hour. And it's like,

And then you do that three times a day. And think about you're also then causing that other person to have more drama in their life. Yeah, you're just like bringing them into it instead of. Yeah. Okay, I might take your thing and type out the text. Yeah, please. And then maybe I'll delete it and still text that person. But I'll say like, hey, how's your day? Or like a news article or something. Maybe what we could do is.

We could do this. We could do this. I love it. I can see like the wheels turning. I was like, all right, let's get to what's happening. What are we going to do? Maybe we could practice one time elevating like our conversation. So like if you're like, okay, I want to text our best friends, but trying something new. Like, did you see what's going on in the world? Or like, have you watched a new show? And what did you think about it?

Like just opening the conversation way more than like an Instagram. Like, I think we're so comfortable these days, just DMing each other posts or being like cute outfit, like so surface level, but just like trying one time to like dig a little deeper. Or I love that. I also was thinking if you want to talk shit about someone, call them because most of the time you're not going to call them. If it's that important, call them. And if it's not important,

I mean, if it's like, cause to me, I'm like, okay, if I want to talk shit about someone, but I have to call them to do it, I'm never going to do it. You know what I mean? Cause it's not that important. Call the person? Like the rule I'm going to tell myself is if I want to talk shit about someone, I have to call them and actually say it to them. It's never that important. So I never will actually end up calling them. No, I'd rather eat a light bulb than call somebody. Same. Yeah. Same. But that way it's like, you know, you think it just makes you step back and you're like, wait, wait.

Because the text is so easy to do. I also tried another vibrator. I forgot to tell you about that. Yes. Oh, my God. How did we forget? It's literally on the front of my note. It goes, Alex's vibrator reviews. Jordan, when she forgets something. No. Yes, you got. We'll post it on. Can we post it on YouTube? Yeah. Okay. It's posted on YouTube so you guys can see it. Yeah. You got a real one. Got a real one. And? And I hate vibrators.

I hate them. I tried it. I much prefer human touch. Like, I couldn't stop laughing. I was giggling the whole time.

Isn't that weird? I'm not shaming you. Sorry. That's that's thank you. I was going to let you, but isn't that, I just decided they're not for me. That's all I wanted to tell you. I I'm, I'm off the train. I love things. I love our outfits. You can have it. You can have it. I've been using it as like a Theragun on my arm. No weird. If I took it from you. No, I don't think so. If, if, if I cleansed it, how did you put it in anywhere? Yeah, slightly. No cleansed it. Oh,

I don't know. It's just a... You got a really nice vibrator. Yeah, it's great. And I've been using it on my body, like, to work out my muscles. I hate... I could not stop laughing. I was giggling. Like, I was... I had tears coming down. Really? Yeah, and Graham was just like, this is not...

It's so weird. It's like if he's holding this, which is holding the vibrator, which is touching me, I'm like, get rid of the thing in the middle. I just want you to touch me. Maybe the vibration is just like too much for your body to handle. You know what I mean? Yes. I got a massage.

also over the weekend and he touched my armpit and I was like don't touch I've been really ticklish lately you had a male masseuse yeah have you ever had a male masseuse yeah I don't like it Graham told me when guys get massages it's a known thing that they'll just get hard how awkward is that that to me seems so awkward and like masseuses know if they touch you in weird spots guys will just get hard have you guys heard that no so you get a massage and you're laying with a blanket and you're just hard

I also don't know a lot of, like, I don't, and I don't mean this like, you know, I don't know a lot of men who get massages. I don't know a lot of guys who get them because a lot of guys I know hate being touched like that. Maybe it's that because they get boners. I'm like, how, how embarrassing. No wonder they always ask for female masseuses. Yes. I was like, no. Wait, did you like the male? I didn't. I've never, so I had a female and she called him sick. And so they were like, the only person we have available is a male. And I was like, I've never had a male masseuse. I didn't like it at all.

all because he was never once hitting on me ever in a bazillion years and I still kind of slightly felt like that yeah well you're naked with a stranger and I in TMI I was on my period I was like oh I hated it like I hated it like the tamp they I didn't like it at all when I came to New York I've gotten a massage a few times in New York but one time I had this old lady massage me and like in my head I'm like okay she's probably doing this forever it's gonna be great

She got so close to areas that I did not want her near. She was just too comfortable with me. It was not inappropriate. That was just like the way she probably just, she's been doing it for years. Like this, I know what to do. Like she doesn't care. But I was like, all right, you're really up high on my inner thigh. Okay. No, it's inevitable. It's like their craft. Yeah. So like they know and they're so,

So comfortable with it. It's probably like you and I coming in here riffing on subjects we've gotten more comfortable on. Yeah. If we brought in a third party that doesn't ever do this, they'd be like, we're not going to talk about that. I'm not comfortable. These masseuses, I'm like, you can't graze the side of my boob. Like, you can't. But they do. Yeah.

it's like a lymphatic drainage so it's like of course like you have to hit the lip nodes like it's very strategic and I'm just like I don't know I feel so uncomfortable in Minnesota they would be so like do you care if I touch you here do you like but here they're just like yeah you're like this is my body and I feel awkward but I would never if I was a guy and I knew if unfortunately you're the one that like gets hard I would never get a massage I'd be like no no that is so awkward I would tape it down

I would tape that thing down. I'd be like, no. You'd have to tape it down. I would be mortified. Would you not? I don't even know if you could tape it down. Oh, but that's very interesting. I always wonder that. I also wonder how much self-control guys have to not get a boner. I do not think. I think if a guy's in a massage, if he's making out with somebody and the boner is coming on, I would like to think they could tape it down. I would like to think you could tape it down. I think that tape's coming up. More.

Or you have to go to the hospital. It's broken. Or like five compressions. Okay. What a random episode. I love it. I think about this. So sometimes I don't like to wear bras. Yeah. You never wear bras, by the way. I literally loathe them.

But sometimes I'll put tape over my nipples. Yeah. And I think it is bad for them if they would like to get it. I don't know why, but I have to say. I think if they want to get hard and they're taped down, they don't like it. And I think a boner would be that on steroids. I think if the boner wants to go up, you have to let it go. But if you tape it down, you're doing a disservice to men as a whole. Alex, you and your boobs are a different breed, okay? Yeah.

I mean, I respect what you just said, but I don't think my boobs feel the same way as your boobs. Really? Yeah, I don't think I'm doing them a disservice when I hide the nipple. Does it not hurt? No. No. Oh, it hurts me. Also, I think there's like nothing sexier though when like nipples are just hard.

I hate, like, on myself, I hate soft nipples on myself. Like, when you're wearing a shirt and you can see, like, that outline, I'm like, damn, this looks good today. But you can't wear it in any environments. You have to be very particular. Like, I couldn't walk into work with hard nipples. I have to walk into the bar. Okay, this is something I've been thinking about, though. Why not? I would like, I think that guys can do, guys can do whatever. This isn't, this isn't like a...

thing. I don't really want to make it one. But why can we not just like let our boobs go? Can we not just like let them fly? Can we not wear a bra? Why do you do that? I do do that. I pretty much do. But sometimes if I'm wearing like a tight shirt, I'm like...

if people are going to feel weird, it's like, it's, I'm more comfortable if I don't. And then like the other day at boxing, I was on my period and it's like, Leo's like, why do you keep having to go to the bathroom? And I'm like, I can't tell you, but it's like something girls just do. And like, I just want it to be more, I just want to be myself and be like, I, cause I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, I'm so open about my period. I was like, I got my period. Gotta go. Okay, you just tell people that? Now I do. Because I realized... Okay, so in most dangerous games, I had my period. It sucked. But I was around a lot of males and bathrooms are very limited. So I was just like, you guys, I have my period. And I realized they didn't care. They're like, okay, that's fine.

I've never come across a guy that did care. No, I mean, I was a mature guy. Right. It's just like, what are you going to do? You can't help it. Yeah. It's just so much more comfortable if you're just like, listen, I just want to like be myself and like do my thing. Yeah. Like operate as a, like we're just bodies and I just want to like be allowed to be the body. All right. Let's move on to Q&A with JNA. So this girl wrote in and she said, what are your guys' thoughts on going through your boyfriend's phone? I did it last night and I feel extremely guilty. Okay. Have you ever?

Yes. Going through. Well, that's how I found out Graham cheated on me. Oh, yay. I wasn't, I think that it's important to distinguish when I found out that Graham cheated on me, I wasn't going through his phone. I was on his laptop and his texts were on it. Right, right, right, right, right. That's a huge difference. Very, very big difference. Here was the thing with it. I had a very big rule to never go through his phone ever. I think if you're going to date somebody, friend, date somebody, anything, you have to fully trust them.

Like if you, you should always feel comfortable handing me your phone for me to airdrop you my photos and no, I'm not going to read your text messages. You know, it's funny you say that because today I gave you my, what did you do with my phone today? Oh, you were, you were doing TikToks on my phone and I was just like, Hey, here's my phone. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I left. I don't know what I did.

And I remember walking away and I'm like, wow, I feel so comfortable with Alex touching my phone. Well, one, I'm not worried about you reading any of my texts. But two, I never even thought in the back of my mind you would ever look at anything. No. Which is rare, by the way, to feel that way towards even a friend. Correct. Yeah. That's a good point. Like, that's how you know. It's not that you have texts about me or not. Yeah. It's that you know I'm not going to open your phone and check your text messages. Yes. Ever. Ever.

So with Graham, I always had a rule and it was, I will never check his text messages. So even when it popped up on his laptop and the girl texted him, hi, I was like, this is weird. This is a shit storm we're about to have right here. But even when we got back together, there was a period where I was like, I'm allowed to take your phone at any point and I am allowed to read your messages and you're allowed to know that and sit here while that, but now I'm

Oh, I'm about to contradict myself, actually. I want to know if she found anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wish she said... Or like why she felt the need to. Yeah. I was going to say that's probably the bigger point because at this moment I could take...

Graham's phone and read all of his text messages. But I think when you're dating, I think it's a hard line. Absolutely not. You don't do it. You just have to trust them. Also, if you're dating someone or if you're in a friendship and you feel the need to, you should really reconsider that relationship. That's the bigger problem is why do you feel the need? Like, why is there that branch...

Why is there that breach of trust that you need to read them? Like, what are you feeling underlying that? But yeah, because when I was in a relationship, I trusted him wholeheartedly. He like if he wanted to know, like, yeah, here's my phone because I knew I nothing and he would do the same for me. But I know that I've had a few friends where they're in relationships and there's significant other things.

Doesn't let them use their phone because it's like a power thing. No, it's fucked up. I know that face. They're like, I'm not hiding anything. I just don't think you need to look at my phone. It's my phone. And I'm like, that is a red flag. No, get the password. Get the phone. Right? That is a red flag. Get the phone. If you are saying you're not allowed to see my phone, if I'm being sketchy like this, not showing you my text, in what world? Yes. No. Also, one of my friends, she was seeing this guy and

And she wasn't hiding anything on her phone. But... Okay, I need to make sure I'm telling this story correctly. So, one of my friends was seeing this guy. And he... Okay, so... She DM'd me on Instagram. Her and I DM all the time. She's like one of my very good friends. And I noticed one time that she read my DM and didn't respond. And I was like, what the heck? That's not like her. I was like, oh my god, is she mad at me? Like, what happened? And it was a conversation we were having. I thought it was so strange. And...

A week later, I was like, and you didn't respond to my DM either. And she goes, what are you talking about? And I go, you read my DM but didn't respond. She's like, no, I didn't. And she found out it was because the guy she was seeing was looking through her phone. And it did not end well. But, like, the fact that – because she was like, why does he feel like the need – so that happened once. Then she found out he was looking through her phone more and more as she would, like, do things around the house. He would, like, look at her phone. But, like, that –

Started the Revolutionary War And they are not Together anymore Oh I bet not Yeah I've also always Thought this If I felt the need To look through Your phone It's cause I'm feeling insecure Yeah Like not Not because I think You're doing anything But because I'm like Maybe she's talking About me in some way Yeah

Yeah. You know, like it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you and your phone. I could be wrong, but I feel like in a friendship, it's more of like an insecurity of your own. But in a relationship, you're insecure that they might be fooling around with someone else. I could be wrong, though. No, I think that's true. I think I think when you're dating, it should be open that you could look through their phone. But one of my friends one time texted me and was like, OK, I don't know what to do. He's in the shower and I just went through his phone. I'm like, say less. Why are you going through his phone and why he's in the shower?

It's never going to be like don't snoop through and think you're going to find something. Hope you're going to find something. Yeah. Like that's not ever. That's like the dramatics and the flair. It's like if you're going to go through their phone, I think you have to do it while they're beside you or something. It has to be more open than that. It can't be catty behind their back looking through their phone because two wrongs never made it right. Like those are both wrong. Him texting somebody and you going through his phone without him knowing. Yeah. Like if you came to me and you're like, I found this text. I beck, why are you going through my phone? Beck.

And that would be the issue, not me finding the text. Correct. And me going through your phone. Now we have two of the same issues. I don't know which one's worse. Do you think the ends justify the means? Like, is it, like, if you go through someone's phone and find something, like, could they get mad at you for going through their phone? I think that's the two wrongs. Like...

Yeah I agree I think then we're in a pickle like then then we are in the zone of yeah I found that you were texting this other girl and then he's like right and you don't trust me I think the texting the other girl trumps it I do think that's the problem however you don't get to go through their phone

I mean, that's just a breach of trust. We just have a trust problem there. That's just, you just can't, we just can't be doing that. Yeah. I also know if I was ever to get, when I get in a relationship, if I was ever to get in one ever again, I, that would be an immediate red flag. If I ever felt the need to look through their phone or if I didn't trust them immediately would have to end that relationship.

Yes. When I did take Graham's phone, because when I saw the text, the high text, I said, now I need to see your phone. I need to read them all. And he said to me, I bet you're hoping you find something. Um,

And I said, in what world do you think that I want to find something to just get mad about? Wait, no, but that also is something too is sometimes people subconsciously want to end a relationship. They don't know why. So they're looking for a problem. Yes. He was like, you're now you're trying to find something. And I was like, I actually like you contrary to what's going on inside your brain. I don't want to devastate myself. It all goes back to going back to the why of why you're doing

it yes and it's like it wasn't it was him thinking I wanted in it but I didn't want to what are your intentions yes dig the layer deeper I said so I know I said that's one of my friends once I was like Alex told me this like advice one time of uh what was it like the can you just repeat the advice the tension thing my brain isn't working it was like find your intention or something yeah you're like when you're like in a situation you're like

What are your intentions behind why you're doing the thing you're doing? Okay, good for me. Jordan does this to me all the time too. She says I said something and I'm like, I said that? That was pretty sick. I couldn't tell you the color of the pink Whitney Voska today. Guys, I'm trying

Thank you. No, but you did say that. Yeah. I believe that. It's over. She said it changed her perspective, by the way. It was like great advice. I like that. But that goes back to why are you looking at the phone? What are your intentions, man? Looking at the phone, are you trying to find a problem? Are you doing it because you don't trust them or are you doing it because you're insecure? Oh, yes. I understand in this context. Absolutely. Yeah. The intention behind it is always yes. Have you ever...

Last night I had an intention problem. I was just, Graham was taking a nap. Not a big deal. Closing his eyes for 20 minutes, 20 minutes on the couch. In the meantime, my mom sent me a text message that just like slightly set me off.

Graham wakes up from the nap and I'm like nice nap like he just wait I always get mad when Mike naps it enrages me what I don't know why and I have to check myself always when I walk in the door and he's napping I'm enraged I was there's something I don't know about relationships and mapping what

It feels unproductive. Oh, like why weren't you cleaning or why weren't you doing the dishes? Oh, I thought I was a psychopath. If I can't nap, you can't nap. That's what it was. I was like, I'm not coming home and napping. How dare you nap? Yes. And it's like there's things to be done. And then he said to me, he said, you do know I wake up at four every day and I'm at the gym at five. And then I go and I'm like, right, right, right, right, right.

But I said, and then I walked off and I'm like, what are you so mad about? I was mad about my mom's text mess. And I walk in the room and I'm like, oh, you had yogurt, which made you tired. And then you napped and you knew the yogurt would make you tired. Crazy. That's insane. That is crazy.

And so, but I was thinking, what's the, like, what's the problem? And it was the layer below. It was my mom's text message. Yeah. And I just took it, reorganized it, and shot it at him. Yeah. I mean, that's like whenever I'm mad at someone, I'm like, okay, why am I mad at them? You know, I'm not kidding, Alex. You telling me the intention thing has changed my life. It's so true, though, because most of the time, that's the problem. Yeah. Or it always is. Or even like a few minutes ago, we were talking, and I was like, I'm just in a shitty mood now. It wasn't because of you guys. It was like my, my, it was, I was like sat back quick, and I was like, okay, I'm going

What are my intentions? I'm angry because I'm actually just really tired and hungry.

You also want a really good episode. That's what it is. Yeah. That's what it was for everybody. Everybody wants a good episode. It's like if you look at the end goal and then you like backtrack and you're like, what's the intention? It's not the people. It's never the people. Usually not for the people. It's usually not the people. It's usually just me. Have you ever had your phone gone through? You guys, I don't remember anything when I like pre New York. I don't remember what it was like being in a relationship. I'm dead serious. I'm like, what was life back in pre New York, Minnesota age? It was just gray. It was gray.

Literally. It didn't exist. Literally. I don't think I've ever had a boy go through my phone. I think I... You had a friend, though. I think I have had a boy go through my phone, and he found absolutely nothing, and...

No, no, no, no. Miss Bennett. Yes. Something you'd like to share. Yeah, I guess I'll admit it to the group. I changed a person's name on my phone one time to a girl's name. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. And a guy. Yes. That was immature. Why did you do that?

I don't remember. I definitely have done that before. Totally. In my past. I've changed names before my phone. Yeah. It was between senior year of high school and freshman year of college. Like, I think we probably all did it. A tough time. Yeah. Tough time. Idiotic time. But yeah, I definitely was like, chain, yeah. Yeah. I look back at the things I did and I'm like...

Nice. Yeah. Or when you're talking to guys you don't want your friends to know about, you just change their name. To a girl's name? Like get some initials and you're like, that's really smart. Yeah. But no, if somebody went through my phone, I think they'd be painfully disappointed. Yeah. Also, we're at the age too where it's like, if that's happening, they're just delete. If somebody goes through my phone, also they'd be like, can you text somebody back? But I think more so, you have probably responded to everything. Even, yeah. Well, I have actually...

Right now I have 20 text messages and it's giving me extreme anxiety. But they're all from when we're recording so nothing's past that. That's nice. Yeah, you're a responder. Today Bella came up to me and she goes, Alex hates me. I go, same, because she's not responding. She goes, yeah. Then I look at your location. I'm like, she's walking here. I'm just seeing the text and I'm like, perfect. I know, sometimes it feels so bad because I literally will send you 30 texts where you respond. I'm like, hey, it's her fault. She's not responding. No, it's good. It's good. It's nice. Yeah, it's really good. If I need to Venmo you, just keep texting me. Send the Venmo.

No, or Venmo request me. I'm like, can you please request me? Can you please charge people the correct amount? Can you please just do something? We all have strengths and weaknesses. Okay. We do. We do more than others. Yeah. So I, I'm team. I'm team. If we have to pick one, absolutely. We're not going through phones. No team. No phone. Not going through it. Trust them. No, it's so mature. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On that note,

I feel like it's a good time to wrap it up. But diddly-doo, it's open at 7. And it's 10 p.m. So, everybody. It's at 3 a.m.

3 a.m. and I'm exhausted. We had to record for seven hours to get something good enough. I know. It's been a week, okay? I think everyone's on the same page. We're all tired this week. It's groggy. It's hot as hell. It's like summer is just like we're in the thick of summer. I hate it here. I hate it here. Everybody have a fabulous week. Like, comment, subscribe. Go. You know what? Let's leave them with one thing to do this week. Okay. And this is what I think it is. Go to YouTube and subscribe. Yes, because we might have...

Cooler stuff coming in the future. Maybe we don't, but I just know you're going to want to subscribe. Subscribe and buy Rough and Rowdy. Yes, Rough and Rowdy is coming up. Most Dangerous Games is two more episodes this week. Love you guys so much. Yeah, love you guys. I hope you have a fantastic week. Without you guys, we're nothing. Go Mean Girl. Mean Girl Energy is shooting your shot in any capacity. Cheers to that.