Hating Your Significant Other & How Crazy Are You?
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Most embarrassing thing you did to see a man? Oh, no. I mean, there's a lot. Embarrassing slash pathetic. I mean, I'll tell a story. Go ahead. I'll just say more of a recent one because... Because... If you don't say what I'm thinking... No, I'm not going to say that. I'm going to take that to my... She's talking about... No, fuck. I'm talking about...

Oh my god. I cringe at myself. No, that's hilarious though, Jordan. It's so funny. That's not a bad thing. You had to. Should I tell that story? Honestly, I think that's so fucking funny. I mean, what do I have to lose at this point? Yeah, just tell it. It's funny. It's funny. So I used to be obsessed. Was? Am? I don't know. This guy. We're your besties in your ear for another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Mwah!

Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Hey, how are you? Phenomenal. How are you? Good. Welcome back from the snowy slopes of Aspen. Thank you. Welcome back from the blazing streets of New York City.

You out there dunking on them hoes. Yeah, I posted Instagram today and I was like, dunk staying Graham DMs me. He was. And what exactly did he say? It was like, you dunk on them. You dunk on them hoes today. I go, all right, Graham Bennett, you say so. Yeah, it's like, but the best part is that Graham doesn't really have social media. So I just thought his account was fake. Yeah.

He has one follower. It's not me. And he gets on maybe once every seven months, but his birthday was yesterday. So I guess he chose, he chose to get on. So, um, this, what Graham and I did not do yesterday was take peak Whitney shots, but had it been my birthday, we would have.

So this podcast is presented by the one, the only Pink Whitney. Head over to your local bar. I love the shoot your shot. You know what I thought about that on the Instagram stories? It truly makes my day. Like reading the answers fully. People are like quitting their jobs. They're like going back to school, breaking up with people. I'm like, you go. I mean, it's what life's all about. Just shoot your shot. You got one life to live. Yeah, right. That's right. So head over to your local bar and order Pink Whitney shots for you and all of your best friends. Yay. How was your weekend? My

My weekend was relatively good. Okay. Considering we kind of had an, yeah, let's not blaze over the fact that we've had an emotional, vulnerable episode last week where you talked about heartbreak. Yeah. So how are you doing? I'm fine. Um, how are you actually doing? Use a deeper word. Another, you can't use I'm fine or I'm okay. What did I say to you in the hall today?

I feel like crying. No, I was like, still waiting for a day where I don't cry. Yeah. Yeah. You said I'm waiting for a day where I don't cry. And I was like, okay, the follow up question here is when you want to cry, do you actually cry? And you were like, oh yeah, every day. And I was like, oh, literally every day. The only thing that prevents me from not crying is my eyelash extensions. Yeah. You did say you were like, I actually have to stop crying because these get damp and it's not good. So I am actually going to stop. I pay good money for these.

I was like, okay, you would. So sometimes my tears, since I can't cry, turn into anger spurts. I'll have this rush of anger where I'll just want to scream into my pillow because you can't scream in New York City because if I scream, the whole world's hearing it. The walls are thin. So that's just...

I would welcome a scream in New York. This is the spot where I would welcome it. But if I screamed in my apartment building or you screamed in yours, everyone would hear from top to bottom. Would your roommate, like, be worried? No. If my roommate heard me scream, she'd be like, another day in the life. She'd be like, okay, moving right along. But my neighbors might be. Um...

You said something that was really interesting called guilt waves. Oh, a guilt attack, a guilt attack. Someone DM do this. Yeah. So first of all, everyone in our DMs have been so sweet. Like the DMs have made me cry because they're so vulnerable and people have just been so appreciative of the advice that you've given and the story that I told. So thank you guys for being so sweet.

But somebody DM'd us and they were saying that a term that you can use to describe waves of sadness is a guilt attack. Or no, sorry, a grief attack. A grief attack. Yeah, guilt's not the right word. It's a grief attack. Because when you're going through any type of loss, one second you'll be fine and happy and then the next second you might be like...

I need, I need a second. I'm gonna start crying. I can, that happened to me yesterday and then you're fine. So it's like a little bit of a grief attack where it just hits you kind of like a panic attack. You don't really know when it's coming, but then it does go away. I have, I have multiple attacks a day of all different types. I have happy attacks, sad attacks, anger, fused attacks, anger attacks, heat wave attacks, menopause in the middle of the night. Last night at 3am I had an attack. I had to take off my sweatsuit. It's like,

Wait, same actually. Really? Yeah. What time was yours at? Um, it was at one. Okay. So I've been having nightmares recently and I'll wake up, I'll have a nightmare. I'll wake up around one 30, like every, every night or morning, I should say mine was at three.

I got up and took a melatonin. I was like, let's shut this off. Yeah, no, I've been having some really creepy dreams. But the attacks thing feels really real because it does come... I wonder what that is. They come in waves and they just hit you. And it's like, sometimes I don't let it attack. So I'm like, get out, get out of here. So mine happens when something...

hits like a memory of mine. Okay. So something triggers it. Is that the term? Is trigger a memory? No, it could be anything active, I guess. Yeah. Like if I smell something that reminds me of somebody, if I see something here. You don't have to talk me through it. But like that will, that's usually what triggers. But even anything, even it could be I miss something.

my mom and I smell her perfume. Makes you sad attack. Yeah. I think mine comes from the fear of the unknown. I think that, I think my attacks come from inside my head. Like, I don't think anything specifically activates it, but I think it's me thinking in the future and then I'm like...

scared, anxious, worried, mad. That was me this morning. Cause sometimes when you, does this ever happen to you when you film in the morning? All of a sudden you're like, what am I doing with my life? What's the future hold? What will happen from this? What am I doing? And then you just panic and kind of spiral. Yes. Mornings, I think set the tone. Well, they do literally my first thoughts.

You know, OK, one time I read I don't do it really anymore, but, you know, I used to not check my phone till nine. Yeah, because it was like, don't let the thoughts in early, like just try to live with like these thoughts. And it's like back in the day before they had cell phones. I bet people lived so peacefully. But now we can open up our phone and I could have texted you. Oh, my God, look at this. It could be something. And it's like that just set the tone for my entire day was that one text message because we don't start our day with just ourselves. We started with everyone else because you pick this up.

Yeah. And then you let all these people into your life. And it's like, would you open your door and let a million strangers in? No. No. So why do we... I do it. I just don't know. Yeah. I mean, a few texts lately have kind of triggered me. Sorry. I hit Jordan with the oh my God period last night. Yep. That was fun. Anyways, my weekend. Yeah. How was your weekend? So my weekend was actually pretty pleasant. But something that was funny is... So...

You guys know I'm boy crazy. Like, I've always been kind of obsessed with guys. Like, I love going out and meeting guys and making out with guys and hanging out with guys. But after everything that's happened these past few weeks, for the first time in my life, I legitimately want nothing to do with the male species. A fucking freaking, I'm trying not to swear as much. Okay. A fucking freaking, a fucking freaking. If Efron could walk up to me and ask me on a date and I would be like, no, thank you.

Stop. Okay. I'm using it to make a point. But Zach? Okay. A very attractive guy could come up to you right now and I'm like, I don't want it. So over the weekend, we went to the bar and it was my friend's birthday. We had a little surprise birthday for her. We were like dancing and this guy came up to me, tall, dark and handsome, like 6'5", very good looking,

was like wanting to talk to me and the whole time I'm like I don't want to be here right now I just want to talk and hang out with my friends and I I've never felt that truly and it was kind of a good feeling because I like you know how when you really just want to be with your friends how fun the night actually is yes but if you kind of are always paying attention to like your surroundings or waiting for the next best thing to talk to you or come by it doesn't really feel like that great of a night it's never happened to you

Back in the day, yes. Yeah. So it's fun to feel this feeling, but it's weird because I haven't felt this way in so long. I always think, and I would always tell my friends this, when you go out and you're seriously...

Okay, I think the world can catch on to our vibes. So last week when we were talking about seriously cutting it off, it's like not 99%. No, we're talking 100%. So the same thing, not just saying I'm going out for a girls' night, but actually going out for a girls' night. That's when the 6'5", tall, dark, and handsome comes up to you and you're like, no, I really don't want it. But when you go out and you're looking...

Like when my friends go out, they're like, I just I kind of want to meet a boy tonight. You never meet the boy. You always meet the guy when you're seriously not looking. And I am seriously not looking. And that's when this little guy, just little six foot over. He's like, what's up? And you're like, you're you're hot, but I'm I'm out. But not today. You know what I thought was crazy last week, too? What? That guy, we were sitting at the bar. Oh, yes. And that guy was leaving. And you're like, I was just, you know, someone like that.

And then he came over and he was like, what's up? And we were like, and he's like, oh, I've met you before to you. Yeah. He was like, hey, Alex, we met at Blue Haven. I was like, correct. No way. But what are the odds? I literally was like someone like that. And all of a sudden he like turned his head and was like, oh, hey, Alex. We're like, what? And then I was like, get her number, take her on a date. He's like, I would love to. Still hasn't texted me. But I also don't want it. You don't want it. Like you don't want it. It's the best. You're like, I don't want it. And that's when you get it. Something in the world when you do want it, it doesn't come.

Oh, fully. Or you attract the wrong people. I'm really happy, though, that you're in that mode. Yeah. I'm, like, just going to be going in 2023 celibate as can be. That's great, though. Yeah. I'm not, like, mad about it. It's actually kind of a refreshing feeling, just not wanting anything to do with the male species. Mm-hmm.

But it's a weird feeling. It's something I haven't felt in a long time. I think if anything, you're just like paying attention, like you're just making a note of it. Yes. You're probably just like, okay, this is cool. Yeah. But then it also reminded me I need to figure out a way to maneuver my way out of situations if a guy approaches me because I was stuck talking to him. And granted, he was buying me free drinks. But then in the corner of my eye, I see all my friends dancing and having a blast because they're playing really good country music.

And I'm like, I want to just dance with my friends. It sucks that there's not like a nice way to say like...

I'm done with this conversation. I want to go hang out with my friends. Wait, I feel like you could just be like, I, yeah, wait, I feel like there is. Oh, please tell me. Yeah. I would do one of two things. One, I would just operate like I was talking to someone. Like I would just give them, like, it would be like, if somebody hit on me, you would just eventually make it pretty obvious. Like, okay, she's, if I was, I would make, not that you were married, but that you were dating someone. The other thing is I would just be like, but I'm not, but I, but if I,

He doesn't know that Yeah one he doesn't But if you really want to hang out with girlfriends Just be like You are so sweet Thank you so much I just I really want to have a girls night I feel like it would save both of your time That was a That's a really good idea actually Wait what? I wasn't in the right headspace last weekend okay? Still not Leave me alone

I can give you another one. Thank you so much. This is so nice of you to buy me these drinks. I'm flattered. Also, you're very hot. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not in the headspace for this right now. You probably get it. And he'd be like, oh, yeah, I've been there. That's a good one. That was really mature. I don't know. It's like letting someone down is like it hurt. It's hard, I guess. Especially when you're sad and drunk. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's actually nicer to them than kind of like, and then you disappear, and then they're wondering about you. Yeah. Finally, he went to the next bar, and I was like, back to my friends. We go. It was what? See you, cowboy. How was your weekend? My weekend was great. I was in Colorado with Graham, and his high school group text, which made me. That's funny. Made you the guy's girl. Made me the girl, the only girl on the trip.

And you know, you gotta love social media. 'Cause they'll point out these things to you that you never even thought of. - Wait, like what? - I never thought of it, I never thought of being the only girl on the trip as an odd thing. - Well, especially with those guys, because those are Gram's OGs that you've known for a very long time. - Yeah, so the internet and like my friends actually started texting it to me as a joke. They were like, "Why are you on the guy's trip?" And I was like, "'Cause I'm trying to ruin their lives." Like, I'm on the guy's trip,

And actually, the best part is, and I told you this initially, I didn't want to go. Correct. I wasn't going to go. And Graham kept saying, can you please come on my 30th birthday trip? Well, yeah, because like it's a big day for him. He's like, can you come? And I'm like, I'm not going to go with the guys. So finally, I was like, fuck it. I'm booking the I'm going to go with him. And also, Graham was like, I'm a little bit more socially fun than Graham.

Just that's just a bit more my role than his. You do have that in you. You know, not that's not a bad. He'll tell me that he's like, you got to go like you hang with the guys. Yeah, not a guy's girl. I just do hang with them in this scenario a little bit better. And but it was so funny because I never even thought about it. So one night we were playing Scattergories. Have you guys ever played that?

Love Scattergories, but my number one game is Codenames. I don't know if you ever played it. Oh, I know Codenames. Codenames is the best game ever. Wait, can you remind me of Scattergories again? I know what that is, I think. Yeah, I never played it. But they all grew up playing it. It's been around forever. It's not new. And they give you a card, and you have a timer, and you have a list of topics, and then you roll the dice. It gives you a letter. Let's say it gives you H. You have to write down a dessert starts with an H. Oh.

Yes, yes, yes. I'm not a big game player, but I know what category it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were playing that, and this is where it dawned on me because we got C, and then we got body part, and everyone writes down. Cock. Clit. Clit. I went for clitoris, you know? And if you write it down... Oh, the medical term. Yes, I thought, you know...

I'm among private school educated people. I'm the public schooler. I was like, let me write clitoris down. There were times where they would bring up stuff and I would be dead silent. And I was like, we just went to different schools. Like, I just don't even know what we're talking about. And I didn't have that homework. Like, I just was like private school and public school kids grew very differently. I was a public school kid. They like had like regimented the level of thought.

That they could take to school was something I was like, I just like played sports in high school. Like, I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. I would have failed. There was something about this word exacerbation. And I was like, what? I can't spell it. Anyways, we get C body part. I write clitoris down.

And the buzzer goes off and it's the first one. And the guy that's leading, it looks at me and he's like body part. Cause he knows he knew I wrote clit. I think because of this podcast, fast forward to a rewind two years ago, Alex wrote, I probably didn't write one down. I probably wrote calm thinking it was arm, you know, like, so I, he looks right at me and I'm like clit. And one of the other guys is like, I also wrote that down. And I was like, wait, I feel like I know exactly who's saying this. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm like, same bro, you know, and Graham's like chest and chin. Somebody did write chin. And I was like, I feel like I'm getting a little, a little bit into the locker room talk. Like I felt a little accepted, but it's so funny to think about how so many different facets we can discuss, but like guys on strictly guys, there was, it was so much fun. And I was obviously welcome there. And like, they're like my brothers, but,

But they still don't get to have like 100% guy time. So I would go, you know, take like hours getting ready and shut the door and like let them do their thing. But it's so funny being the only girl there. Like, well, on one token, they want you there. And they're like, of course we want our spouses there. Like, because they love hanging out with us. But on the other token, it's so funny what guys say to guys.

You know what I mean? Oh, a guy's world is a crazy world. And when you get a glimpse of that, you kind of never want to leave. Yeah, you're like, you guys are so... This is my thing, too. This is my biggest thing. I want them to be, like, so comfortable. And they were. This is the first time I really felt like they were comfortable having that conversation, like, while I was there. I don't know if it's, like, seriously, Graham. It's like, I kind of think it might be the podcast. Like, they just hear you talk about your everyday life. I think people...

feel like they know us better because of the podcast. Also, they know how vulgar we can be sometimes and they know that you're okay talking about those topics. Do you think though that like on a guy's trip that not all of the girls like have to go? Of course they can be invited but what do you think about one going?

Um, like, how did I feel about you going? Or no, in general, take this scenario. Whole guy's trip, but one girl goes. I mean, it depends on the situation. In your situation, since you're married to the birthday boy and it was his 30th birthday, I figured why not. But if it was a different situation, maybe all guys and someone's girlfriend, um,

I would be a little jealous if I wasn't invited. But in the back of my head, it would probably be because they see her as like a bro. Well, all the girls were invited. Oh. They didn't go? They just couldn't go. Oh. That would have been fun. Oh. See, this is my question, I think. Why...

does it have to be in a group of guys and then the one girl does go why does she have to be the buzzkill like so we know i wasn't but the inner but tiktok's like oh my god like you're the fucking worst it's like wait but why why does the one girl on the guy's trip have to automatically be the worst like why can't i just be chilling with you guys i know

Because society makes it seem like men always hate their girlfriends and wives. And like, we're the lame ones. Yeah. It's like, I was like, wait, I was reading it. I was like, no, like that doesn't, it doesn't have to be that way. Because I think that,

A lot of people, it's about 50-50, but a lot of people I know don't like their significant other. Like, it's sad, but they're not friends with them. Like, a lot of men date girls to be, like we talked about yesterday, caretakers or to be their...

arm candy and girls date guys to unfortunately pay the bills or take care of them. And that maybe was more back in the day, but not a lot of people date people that they're friends with. It sucks, but it's true. It's like, okay, whenever Graham and I had our hard time, okay, let's take a specific scenario. So when Graham cheated on me, I remember when I found out asking him, who all have you told? And he was like, I've told this one guy.

And I was like, of course you picked that one guy because that one guy is not going to call you on it. He's going to be like, bro, like, did you slap her ass on the way out? Like, that's the guy you choose to tell. And I think it's the same thing when people start to like hate on their significant other. They know who they can hate on them in front of who will chime in and they'll do the same with theirs. But you also have a specific group of people who are like, I'm not.

We're not hating on them. Like we married them or we're dating them. We love them. Yeah. And I used to tell grandma, I was like around like 24, 25. I was like, you know, what's not going to be cool is like treating your significant other like shit. Like you're going to be, if you can flip it now and kind of see in the future here and start talking positive about the person you want to be with, like,

more guys will like want to be around you because they, they actually want that. Yeah. Well, like back in the day, the running joke was men hate their wives. Yes. They like, that was fully a thing back. Like our, maybe not our parents, but our grandparents generation, they didn't marry friends. They literally know they hated their wives. They hated their husbands. And then like in movies, you see them all like around the table being like, Oh God,

Fred is just a lazy piece of shit or Susan's just up my ass today. But I don't want to talk about my husband that way. No, you want to... Because when you talk about them that way, I think you start to let it seep in. It's like if you bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch about something and then you're like...

I really hate that. Yeah. You might not. Like, I definitely don't want my husband to be my best friend, but I want him to be a good friend. And novel idea. Yeah. Don't you want to go home to the person that you're married to or the person that you live with and like them? Yeah. I don't know. Like, I wouldn't talk...

I think a lot of times when you get with your, when it's a spouse, and I'm just thinking about people I've seen that have been married for like a long time, or like in the movies, they do it so, they don't think about the consequences. They do it so loosely. If you're going to talk shit on a friend, you're like,

Fuck. Like, it takes a lot to say it. You got to find the person you're going to say it to. It's a whole thing. It's mentally exhausting. You're going to do it about a significant other. I think some people are like, I'll let it fly because I don't care if it gets back to him. I don't care what the repercussions are. And it's like eventually you beat that door down. You don't like that person. No, it's crazy. And you think about this, too. Like out of all the guys that you've dated, how many of them have you genuinely dated?

hanging out with. Like, like think about it. Like you want to hang out with them as much as your girlfriends. Like you have fun with them because you're having fun, not because you like them. Right. I can't say I've dated a lot of guys that I have fun with. I have, especially currently. I'm just kidding. But when I think about some of the guys I've dated in my past, I'm like, I've

I'd much rather would just hang out with my girlfriends than them. Like, I feel like everyone has a situation where they've hung out with their girlfriends or guy friends and their friend brings the significant other and they're a dud. And you're like, why are they here? That's the worst. And I feel like that's the the memory that everyone associates with what you did, which is just hanging out and being fun. But they're like, oh, the girlfriend's here. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Okay. But there's also some of my friends' boyfriends and I'm like, why didn't you invite him? Yeah. Why isn't he here? Like you are a fun wife. Yeah.

Right. I, yeah, I took from the TikTok comments. I was like, this is so funny because you're all automatically assuming that I just suck. And I'm like, we're not, we're going to do things. Like, I was like, oh no, like hardly, you know? But in my mind, like, that's why my friends from home were comfortable, like texting me to make fun of me about it. Because it's like, that's not the stereotype. I'm like, where does the stereotype come from? So it was just, it was just kind of interesting. Well, yeah, because I had...

a game night with my girlfriends on Sunday and all my friends are single except my one friend. She's married. And she was like, do you mind if I bring my husband? And we're all like, hell yeah, bring your husband. He's like one of the girls in not a weird way. Like he was there. We were playing like drinking games and games involving like personal conversations and sex. And we're all just saying what we feel because he can just like play along with it. He's not one of those guys where we're like, um,

Does your husband know that you've done that in your past? Like she's like friends with him. She's so open with him. He knows everything she's done. So we all can just like make fun of like make fun and like say things that we do. And it's just so much more fun because they're genuine friends. OK, what about this scenario? Guys weekend and a girl goes total buzzkill.

Girls, girls night and a guy comes, bro. How was it like? That's so cool. I don't think he's a buzzkill at all. No. Why is what's the difference? Like, that's what I don't get. I feel and I'm doing it myself. I think they seem different. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like automatically, no one assumes if a guy comes, it's going to be a buzzkill. He's not a buzzkill. He made it more fun. You're welcome for coming. That's what I'm saying. That's the patriarchy. It's because the majority of people marry men.

Because the world assumes women are boring. That is what the world views women like. And control. Like, I think they thought I was. So I made a joke. I was like, oh, well, who's going to do the dishes? You know, like who's going to make the meat? Like you fuckers. Yeah. What are you? I don't know how to cook.

Well, like, let's be real. If you and Graham, if us three are together, I'm going to Graham for responsibilities, not you. Right. Like, it's so different. But I was just like, what on earth? But the hating, the hating on the spouse or the hating on the significant other. I had a coworker in my very first job and her husband one night was like, it kind of a little tiff happened. And he was like, but I love my wife. And we were like,

wait, what? Like, no shit, dude. Like you, I love my wife. We were like, you wait. Yeah. We know you love your life. Like entry level for being married should be like, I love them. I'm obsessed with them. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Not like, it's so nice that he doesn't talk shit on her. Yeah. Not the friendship I want, not the relationship I want. Like, yeah. People tell you and I all the time, like you guys like each other. And it's like, in what world?

do you all exist in where you want to be partners with somebody in any scenario and genuinely not like them? Yeah. I just, I can't imagine a world where I go home after work every day and I'm like, all right, the fun's going to stop tonight. Like I want to go home and be like, let's like, what are we doing? Are we going to watch TV together? Are we going to go out? Are we going to, are we going to go on a walk? Like I just can't wait to have a conversation with you. Like that's what I want in my future husband. Not like,

I'm going to go home to Jerry and he's going to piss me off tonight. I think somebody, I don't know who started it. It must have been the 50s, 60s generation. Yes. They did start this whole thing where we're married to Helen. What are they called? The old, old hag? No, the ball and chain. The ball and chain.

ball chain. Nah, just guy, are we bringing the wives tonight? No. You know, now it's a little bit more like, are the boys coming? Yeah. You know, we've caught up, sped past and our generation rocks. And that's why spas were created and cigar clubs because...

From the get go, we never liked our spouses. So we would talk, we would do things. And it's like, I'm all for a healthy little break. By all means, take your girl's trip. That's phenomenal. But it's like also while you're there, they get to keep you back. Ah, he texted. Look what they're doing. Yes. It's like a healthy camaraderie. Also in our generation, we're also connected where it's like,

my group of friends, I want to want, I want to want their spouses to come. That's why like when I date someone, my friend's approval honestly is more important than my parents because I want my friends to be like, yes, please bring X, Y, and Z around. Not like,

Like, do they have to come tonight? Right. Maybe let's plan it at a time or like let's put in a time when he's busy or even if they were indifferent about it, that would make me like less interested. No, that would make me so sad. But I will say this. OK. OK. Early on in my relationship with Graham, the way he showed up socially was not the way I showed up socially.

So I would be, and it wouldn't be with his core guy friends, with his core guy friends live at the party because he's comfortable with them. Graham's a little bit more shy to people he doesn't know as opposed to me.

So if I would go and I would meet new people, I would be like, hi, I'm Alex, blah, blah, blah. And he'd be a little bit more like, what's up? I'm Graham. And I was, we would leave and I'd be like, are you kidding me? And he'd be like, wait, I don't care what they think. Like he was like, I, that's not who I am. And I was like, interesting. Now people tend to,

The best part about Graham, which makes this okay, is if you meet him once, you're most apt to like him because he kind of has a disarming presence to him. He's not an asshole, but he's not the most open right off the bat. Yeah. And I used to try to fix how he showed up. And I would be like, I want you to do all of these things. And I kept trying to put him in the box for like six months. I would try. And he'd be like, I really just want to be the way I am. Not never mean never an asshole, but he was a little more quiet. Yeah.

And so that was one thing that like I did have to learn. Like it wasn't my idea of how he was social, but I wasn't his either. Yeah. And it was that was interesting. Like I had to grow to be OK with it. And the more I've let him be himself, the more he's like blossomed socially because he's like comfortable doing it. Yeah. But like genuinely, if if you and I if you and I had a girls night plan, you were like to care of Graham because I'm like the more the merrier. Graham's part of the girl squad. Like bring him on over. Yeah. Like I don't I don't have any friends. He'd be like literally no.

I feel like I'd rather eat my own arm than hang out with you two. I'm literally not coming to Girls' Night ever, but thank you so much for the invite. And I'd be like, can I? I'll come. Just thinking about every time that you and I have serious conversations on your couch and Graham's just there, I feel so bad for him. Because I'm like, he's already heard this five times from me, ten times from Alex. I was hearing it another 30 times. And we're just going to hash it one more time. I know Graham's like, we've come to a resolution. We're like, and just one more time.

Do it again. Oh, that's funny. What would you do if a couple was dating...

And you were really good friends with the girl, but the guy, you overheard the guy talking shit on the girl. Oh, I would tell her in a heartbeat. On the girl, on your friend? Yeah. The boyfriend? The boyfriend was talking shit on the girl, then the girl's more your friend, but they're both your friend. Oh, they're both my friend? But you're closer with her. Who's my friend first? Her. I would tell her. Um, I...

I, I will be honest. I am so appreciative. My friends are all straight up about the people I date. They tell me to my face if they like them or not. And I know that's something I would personally want to know. So I would say it in a very nice way. I just be like, Hey, I just want you to know, I heard X, Y, and Z say this. I don't know the context, but I feel like you deserve the right to know, but I would tell him. And honestly, if they're both my friend, I would probably tell him if she's talking shit about him all the time.

They're both my good friends? Wait, so you knew her first and a little bit better, but you are very good friends with them both now because they're dating. And she was talking shit on him, you'd tell him? Well, who's my friend? Yeah, okay, she's your friend. Then I would never. Oh, okay. I would go to her and be like, you either need to stop talking shit on him or break up with him. There we go. Sorry, the way you voiced it, did I become friends with him at the same time? Are they equally my friends?

my friends and they started... Did I introduce them? No, if she's my friend, I would be like, you need to stop talking shit about blah, blah, blah or break up with him or fix it because this is not fair to you or him. Yeah, agreed. Okay. Okay, so...

So a little scenario happened in Aspen where we had some mutual friends there. They're not mutual friends. They're, they're way more Graham's friends, but I definitely know them. Wait, what's that from where it's like they're her friend or they're, there's like this show where it's like they're XYZ's friends, not my friends. I don't know. Is that a sound? It's like from a movie, I think. But when you're like, they're Graham's friends, not my friends. They are my friend. Like they are my friends, but I know them because of him. Okay. But they would probably be my friends anyways, if he didn't exist. Okay.

So anyways, they were like, we're here too. Let's meet up. And I'm like, great. Let's meet up. Sounds so fun. And Graham's like, no. And I was like, odd. Wait, have I met them? No. Okay. I thought it was this. Yes, you have. I knew exactly what you were talking about. And I was like, okay, weird. And then I'm like, well, why not? And he's like, I just think they're mean. Graham doesn't go out of his way to say no.

much about anyone. Like, yeah, I was writing his cards and I'm like, you don't talk about people. That's kind of cool. Um, so I was like mean. And I was like, well, how are they mean? And he's like, I don't really want to get into it. I just don't think they have people's best interest in mind. We're not hanging out with them. So right then it enters into my mind that I'm like, somebody said something about me.

one of these people has talked shit on me. So I keep prying. And then finally he's like, well, she called you a social climber. And I'm like, that's so great. Social climber that like, I'd rather be a bitch because at least I'd have to do some internal, like, was I ever like, I would probably check myself, but social climber I'm blazing right through. Cause I just, I'm a lot of things. That's not really one of them. No. Um, and I was like, that's hilarious. Also

never mind i'm just gonna go off a tangent i don't need to right now did he hear this second hand or was he did he she said this to him she said it to their to his very best friend how are you a social climber this is your job well i was like well listen i wanted to hit when i saw that tiktok my fist was up in the air yes but if anything if anything maybe a gold digger but that's it that's what i'm saying i'm i am i only like graham for money

Come on, we know this. We've all known this before. This is the new news, people. We know. Fruit is not social climber. Like, come on. When you hear yourself described in a new way, you're like, oh, fuck. Have you never heard that before? So you're probably like, damn. Yeah, I'm like, social climber? Yeah, I never even thought that. People call me a gold digger now. I'm like, I literally know that about myself. But I was like, social climber, if anything, fuck.

I think people now want to be more friends with me because of this job fully. That's why I'm like, what? I'm not really the social climber anymore. I kind of feel like I got rid of that, but okay. So then, so she's DMing me. So it's not texting. We're on DM. She's like, we're in Aspen. And I'm responding very nicely because at this point, I don't know that she's called me a social climber to Graham's very best friend who told him. So it like for sure happened. I checked like 17 times. I'm like, we're positive. It was like, yes, a hundred percent. I'm like, okay. So then I'm lit. So then I leave her on read.

oh shit you know and then this is what I'm asking myself because I want to respond back and I want to say with all due respect let's not do this if I'm just a social climber or maybe look for me in the nearest tree I don't know but then Graham's like no you don't do you know so then I'm like do I kill her with kindness like at this age what's my route because leaving her on red and then being a little just kind of like whatever in person then I'm the asshole because she doesn't know that I know that she called me that

Do I owe that to her? I think that at this age, you have to be selfish and do like you have to think of long term how you're going to feel like setting that comment might feel good short term. But are you going to wake up the next day and be like, I should have just been a bigger person and said nothing?

So then, but then am I killing it with kindness? I think, but if you want to say that comment, say the comment. I'm kind of like, do whatever you want. But the route is not like, this is, this is what got me about me that day. I left it on red and then I was not standoffish, but not overly nice. Okay. Well, I only hurt myself there. I now, two wrongs never made a right.

So I wouldn't treat you like I wouldn't leave you on read and be semi standoffish to you in person. I would do what I actually would do this. It's kind of like because it's kind of like you ghosted her. I would be honest and be like, hey, I heard through the grapevine that some unkind things were said about me by you. No hard feelings. But I would just choose not to spend time with someone who speaks to me like that.

And just be straight up. Make it as mature as possible. Don't be rude. But be honest. Just, okay. Yeah. And just be like, I just, I know, I know. I agree. I couldn't decide. I was like, the worst route here is probably the one I just, I didn't have the energy and I was kind of caught off guard and it was kind of a lot going. I was like, I can't respond. But also protect your energy. So if that's what helped you that day, that's fine. You think? Fully. You left your own red.

And then, yeah, and then I did end up responding being like, I heard you were texting one of the boys. You don't all hear anything? Yeah. I wish in person I could have just said, I don't need a response to this one. I'm sorry if I'm leaving you on read and if I'm not being super nice. I did hear what you said about me. I just...

it's honestly here's the thing too it's all good that you said it if you think that that's one that's totally fine but we don't you don't need to dm me then to hang out also you have to think she probably maybe was even relieved you didn't respond because it's like if she's calling you a social climber does she actually want to hang out with you or does she want to hang out the boys that you're with right and don't dm me yeah she's doing it to benefit herself and to hang out with the guys that you're with because she's with one of the good good guys that

she might have told right right yeah i just i i was thinking i mean i haven't heard somebody like gossip about me in a really long time and so i was like oh wait and i and i truly like didn't i didn't care so that was hard too was i was like well how do i like what do i do here do i say something do i not do i what do i do wait when you just went oh it sounds like the tiktok sound what is that tiktok sounds like oh uh

Oh, we're being mean? Hold on. My turn. My fucking turn. That was like perfect. Oh. Oh, cool. We're being mean. Hold on. My fucking turn. I do really think it's sweet, though, that grandma's being protective of you. Because the flip side of that is the rose-covered, like, one thing I never want my spouse to have is like rose-covered goggles always tell me I'm right. Like, I think it hurts when a parent does that, too, to a kid. They're like, no, it's not her. It's somebody else. Yeah. Yeah.

And usually he's the first to be like, and what were you and what what what did you have to do with it? But in this scenario, I didn't say I wasn't involved. So he was just like, I also like how he waited to tell you until it was like important. It was relevant. He didn't just say, oh, someone's that was talking shit about you. He like sat on it until it was like, hey, you should know this.

That's the other thing. Now I forgot. That's the other part of this. Okay. That is really sweet. So with girls, these back in the day in college, somebody said something about one of my friends. I'd be like, I need to tell them at this moment in my life.

I don't want to know. I never do. Don't tell me. No, because I always think, how is it going to benefit them? Is it worth hurting their feelings? If it ever gets to the point of causing them harm, I will. But I always think, would I want to know? No. So why would I tell them? I do not want to know. If you hear...

someone talking shit about me. Don't tell me. It was more like he stopped you from embarrassing yourself in a way. He kept letting her in. He was trying not to say it, trying not to say it. And then finally I'm like, we're hanging out with them. And he's like, okay. And it's like, all right, thank you for that. Yeah. But just to be like, to text me like, Hey, by the way, so-and-so it's like, uh-uh. Yeah. For what? Yeah. No, I just don't want to know. No, I don't want to know either. Did you used to tell people? So I had a friend back in the day.

Who would always tell me things that I always was like, like it almost was like she was telling me to purposely stress me out and cause drama to cause drama. And I learned at a very young age that it was never benefiting me. So it's never going to benefit if I do it to another person. Like there's so many times that I've texted someone I've done to you. I've done to my closest friends, all the texts ready to send. And then I go,

Take a step back. Is this actually relevant information or is it just going to cause some stress to their day? Always it's the stress of their day and I delete the text.

Like, no, I don't. I never do. Because it caused me so much harm when I was younger and caused me a lot of anxiety. Yeah, it creates unnecessary anxiety. Yeah. Like that you don't need to know. No. And if they actually need to know, they'll find out. They will on their own regard. Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah. And some things are it's like, what's that term where it's like, not ignorance is bliss, but kind of, but kind of.

What you don't know won't kill you? Yeah. What you won't know won't kill you. Wait. Yeah. What you don't know won't kill you. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, I don't... People... Life is too stressful. We don't need to make it more stressful. Yeah. I probably wouldn't say either. But I was ruthless in defending people. Like, I've gone in so many fights for other people. Oh, yeah. Same to this day. Yeah. I've gotten kicked out of bars. Oh. Yeah. Just...

But I would like more. I'm more confrontational, confrontational when I'm defending other people fully and like myself. But like I wouldn't like I let it come to a point where they are aware of what's happening, I guess. Like I wouldn't have been the bearer of bad news. But like once they know that I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm like, you don't want to be the one, the messenger, I guess. You know what? You know what the worst is, though? Like when it does happen, I do think this, I guess, to wrap it up.

There's so many different scenarios we can approach the person with and the worst one to be not the not that we want to inflict the most harm, but the one that all angles went on is the one where you're like, it's all right. I did hear it. We don't need to hash it out. It hurt my feelings. I wish you wouldn't have said it, but let's not pretend like everything's good.

gucci between you and i somebody said that to me i'd be like i'd be embarrassed i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm i'm just so but the whole the mature approach always hurts the worst yeah and it feels better on it like you then you weren't mean like if you were like jordan your bitch or jordan that was that really hurt my feelings that really hurt my feelings would destroy me way worse i

I'd be like, oh my God, I'm going to go cry in a hole forever. Because you hurt my feelings is like, I'm sad. You're a bitch is me throwing it on you. Then we're in the two wrongs never made a right scenario. Yeah.

But it's like I was on the way to work today. I was thinking about the term, the saying kindness always wins. And I was like, and I was I always do this thing where I try to think of scenarios where it doesn't. And I couldn't I can't. I mean, 29 years. I can't think of one. I can't think of one either. Every time. And kindness kills.

yeah kill him with kindness kill also on a side note you want to know you're so hot today because i'm in uggs and a sweater and because you're wearing the warmest socks in the world yeah i'm basically wearing leg warmers like i looked out of your feet i go well no shit you're sweating i was two days in colorado and i thought no i'll just keep going oh no please don't tell me you want to be a colorado girl now i don't i don't i i don't

I don't. I want to live on a ranch. Just Western and NASCAR. Yeah, I just really want to live on a ranch really badly. That's my thing. I'm dead. Quick pause to talk about What Do You Meme, which ironically, we both had game nights this past weekend. Oh, this is cool. We should try this. From the creators of What Do You Meme, oh my God, let's get deep. Cool. Oh yeah, I looked at that this morning. This game? It's on your desk, yeah. My mom dropped that off. Okay, this is...

Oh, this is the hottest game for couples that you've probably already seen all over TikTok and Instagram. It's pretty simple. You take turns asking each other fun, deep and sexy questions for the three from the three decks of cards with three levels of intimacy. Icebreaker deep and deeper. Oh,

Get ready to take things to the next level. The questions range from things like what's your go-to snack at the movies? What's yours? Sour Patch Kids. To what's your biggest turn on? Touching the back of your neck. We'd be so good at this. If you want to really spice things up this Valentine's Day, this great Valentine's Day gift. You may also want to grab the After Dark Expansion Pack, which is filled with 200 extra spicy cards. It's the climax of your date night, if you know what I mean. Oh,

Wait, have you ever played that with Graham? Like, well, you kind of did on your TikTok the other day. You're like, I'm divorcing you if you don't know this answer, which I knew that answer. When he said pizza, I was like, how dare he say something with dairy? Yeah. Breakfast, always. Always. But I was thinking about that this morning. I was like, Alex and I would actually slay at any game where we had to answer questions about each other. We would be like, no brainer.

Yeah. I think I would know them all. We should actually play this. We should. You can do this with friends too. And you're in luck because we have an, Oh, an exclusive offer for all of our listeners for a limited time. Get 20% off with the code mean when you go to what do you mean.com backslash let's get deep again, 20% off, go to what do you mean.com slash let's get deep and use code mean. So let's get deep. Literally. I want to play. I do too. It sounds really fun. Yeah. It sounds like it's on my desk. Yeah. Patrick gave it to me. Let's play it. Yeah.

Um, should we do the listener question? Okay. This week's listener question. What's the appropriate time to meet your significant other's family? I have like a hard rule. What is it? Um, so I don't personally care when I meet my significant other's family. Like

you you can choose that that's like up to you but I don't like to allow my significant other to meet even really friends for a significant amount of time because I don't like when lives are intertwined because if you were to end something not only are you breaking up with that person you're breaking up with their friends you're breaking up with their family so I really prefer to make sure the relationship is very established and you see a future with them so I would say like

six months to maybe even a year meeting my parents wow yeah really yeah okay brother a little different but like parents probably like six months of being boyfriend and girlfriend i think yeah wow so what if you were like dating someone because your parents don't live here so what if you were dating someone for like three months and then your parents came to visit and it was like pretty going pretty well like you wouldn't oh i said that happened and i said you're not meeting my parents

Huh. Interesting. Yeah. I met his, but he, he did. I, I just, I didn't want, I didn't want him to, because I was like not in time. Cause I don't want one to also like, I don't want my parents to ever see me hurt. And it breaks my heart to think about my parents knowing the actual person who hurt me. So I was like,

What happens if my dad meets you and then we end things and then he has to see his little girl upset and he knows the guy who did it? Like, that just hurt my heart. Right. That makes sense. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So I'm a little different. I figured because I want I'll be early on the my parents meeting the guy because my dad has the same read on people I do most of the time. But sometimes if I could get a little love struck, I needed him to tell me. Oh, I love that. So in high school and in college, my dad met.

I mean, if we were slightly even talking, my dad meets so-and-so and my dad would meet most of them and he could tell a lot by their handshake. My dad's a big, like if we got a firm grip, then I liked the guy. If he makes eye, like he's a little bit less on, um,

Maybe how him and I are interacting with each other because I'm probably going to be awkward at this point. My dad's always picking up on like good things or, you know, if we had dinner, like did they take their plate or how did they, you know, things like that. So I'm always an early introducer. But the first time I met Graham's dad, I

was by accident. Like we just happened to all socially be out together, but I had a crush on Graham. And so I was like, I know I need to go. We were with the big group and I was like, I know I need to go over there and introduce myself. Say I'm Alex. Nice to meet you, Mr. Bennett, blah, blah, blah. So I walk up to the bar and his dad was bartending. And I was like, hi, Mr. Bennett. I just want to introduce myself. My name's Alex. Thank you so much for having us. And his dad was looking down, making a drink, never looked up, never looked up.

And I was just like, he didn't look up, never looked up. And I was like, holy fuck. Like I literally wanted to die on the floor. And I was like, it's over. He's never going to like me.

Wait, what? He couldn't hear me. I had no idea. I was sitting there and my friend was sitting beside me and she was like, oh my God, what are we going to do? And I was like, I don't know. I'm scared to death of this person. But then afterwards, he came around like a few hours later and was like, hi, I'm Clay. And I was like, you know, like I tried to meet you. Yeah. First time Graham met my dad, his hand missed my dad's hand. Oh no. And Graham was like, can I retry that? And I was like, oh. I will say, I think you have the better approach than me because...

It's you should introduce your family to them sooner than later, because if they hate them, at least, you know, earlier on. Yeah. Can you imagine a year in your parents like, no, I know. But then I always would you would after a year you would have so much intel. Yeah. I mean, they would have to have like a good reason. Yeah. By then my friends would have met them. And like because like my friends.

I've met a good amount of people I've dated and if they don't like the guy, that's game over. Cause I see your point. Yeah. Every person was like, my manager even like, fuck that.

that. It reminds me of furniture. He's just there. He's a couch. Yeah. So no, but I do see, like, I see both. I think it's what you start so early on, right? Like I, cause you could say it's sacred to meet the parents. Like that is a sacred invitation. And my parents haven't met a lot of guys. I just started rapid firing them when I was younger. So then I just always kept doing it. True. But like, I see your point of daddy doesn't need to know who hurt the little girl.

My parents have met three guys, my two high school boyfriends and my college boyfriend. Oh, mine probably met 20. 20.

And I seriously dated two of them. Yeah, no. That was it. My mom and dad, for all they know, I'm a lesbian. I'm celibate. Like, they've met nobody. Isn't that funny? And I will rarely ever tell them. The only reason why my mom knows more is because she listens to the podcast. Right. So she brings it up to me. Other than that, I'm not telling them. They know nothing about my life. I'm a fan of introducing when they're still kind of your friend or like...

I'm a fan of downplaying it to my parents and introducing them as a friend that I kind of have a crush on because then they're dead honest. Like that's how my parents met Mike when we were we were dating. We weren't boyfriend girlfriend, but I still introduced him as like my friend that I'm interested in kind of. And they were all dead honest. Even my grandma. Oh, I

like that. Yeah. That's nice. He came to my beach house and like. Okay. But you have guy friends. I don't have guy friends. So that'd be my parents would be like, oh, just like have a guy they like. Yeah. Who's like kind of looks like your type. Yeah. Like kind of flirting with. That's your friend. Yeah. It's so true. But with you, since you have like a group of people that would actually be a really good way to like segue him in. Yeah. And they were like honest.

In high school or in college, if you were at home, if a guy took you on a date, did your parents make him come to the door and ring the doorbell and meet them? Or could you just like walk outside and go get in the car? I only did that with one guy. I only go on dates in high school. We just like went to each other's house and like made out. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. No.

I yeah, I don't know. And then in college, we didn't live at home. Yeah. So I don't think I really went on a proper date. My parents would like make them get out of the car and come up to the door and like meet my dad. No one takes you on dates. Damn it. I know they do. That's scary. Yeah. Terrifying going up to your house and meeting your parents and then leaving. And then you're getting in the car with them and you're like 17. Oh, my God. That's terrifying. Yeah. Yeah.

No, that'll make that'll build you. Yeah, no, I think I think a lot of times I did go on dates in high school. I would meet them there or I would go to their house first and then we would leave because I was terrified of them meeting my parents. Yeah, so scary. I know like a real whoo. See, I don't know. We'll see what happens in the future. But for now, I prefer.

Like I just want them to be my boyfriend for a significant amount of time where I don't foresee them leaving my life. So I don't have to like break up, break it up, break it.

down to my parents. Especially, I think the worst scenario is if you introduce a guy to your parents and then you all break up, but your parents loved them. Yeah. And they're like, why'd you guys break up? And you're like, please don't make this any harder. Yeah. It's great when your parents are like, yeah, never liked him. And you're like, right. He would have never fit in the family. Like it was great. The other day, my mom called me and she goes, oh, and by the way, you and X, Y, Z are no longer together. And I'm like,

Let's get into it. All right. I was like, go off. Yeah. But she didn't know him. So she didn't have an opinion, which was probably nice. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to her being like, I really did. He was good. That would have made that so much harder on you. My ex-boyfriend of five years, my family loved. I mean, he was a saint. Why wouldn't they? And when I broke up with him at first, they were like, why would you do that? And I was like, can you not? Can you just be on my side, please?

Like, I know you liked him more than me, but can you just be on my side, please? The family civil duty is to just take the side. Oh, yeah. I'm always like, Michael, you just let me know who do we have to fight. We will abide by all rules. That's so funny. And I needed the same treatment. It is nice to have like siblings because you do have built in soldiers that march for your cause.

Yeah. I don't know what my brother would do if he knew a guy hurt me. Yeah, if they hurt you, what would they do? I mean, emotionally, not physically. I don't know. I'm sure my brother would have unkind words to say. Yeah, you know, the worst scenario is when they hurt your significant other, but they stay together. So then you just fucking hate the girlfriend. Yeah.

Oh, what are you going to do? Cut that. Or forget to cut it. Keep the part where I say cut it so they at least know I tried. I'm dead. Wheel misfortune? Okay. Yes. Please let it land on something about siblings' relationships. Let's get into it. Okay, Alana, sorry, you can't leave. Alex needs to get in. Let me spin the wheel.

Oh, most embarrassing thing you did to see a man. Most embarrassing thing you've ever done to see a man. To see a man? Oh, no. I mean, there's a lot. Yeah, I'm shuffling between a couple options here. I mean, it's not like it's embarrassing. It's more of like...

Yeah. I feel like pathetic is a better term, honestly. Embarrassing slash pathetic. I mean, I'll tell a story. Go ahead. I'll just say more of a recent one because it has to do with an app. I actually don't care if he hears. Because. If you don't say what I'm thinking. No, I'm not going to say that. I'm going to take that to my. She's talking about in Oklahoma. No, fuck it up. I'm talking about. Oh.

That's so bad, but that's so bad that like no one should know. I will take that story to my literal grave. No one besides you two will ever know when that happened. But we're going to talk about a more recent story. So,

Oh my God. I cringe at myself. That's hilarious though, Jordan. It's so funny. That's not a bad thing. And it's like, it's like what you did was embarrassing, but like everyone knows what you were feeling. Like, and you know what I mean? That was the thing to sin. Like you had to sin that. You had to. Should I tell that story? Honestly, I think that's so fucking funny. And like, it happened twice too. Twice? Yeah. The first time was what you did. You asked Mike for help.

Oh my God. It was in the... I mean, what do I have to lose at this point? Yeah, just tell us. It's funny. It's funny. So I used to be obsessed. Was? Am? I don't know. Might be the one that broke my hair. I don't know. I'm just kidding. This is so good. So...

Okay, so a few months ago, the way that this guy and I started talking was through darts. We bonded over playing darts, and that was just kind of our thing. We'd be like, when's the next time we're going to play darts? That was our first date. That's the first time we hung out. So one day, I was like, Alana, because I don't know where you were. You would disappear that day. No, you were out of the state. I don't know. And I was like, Alana, I need to text him right now.

Because all we've been doing is like, and he would like DM me dartboards at night, like the emoji. And I was like, I need to text him. I don't know. I don't know how. We had this happy hour that we, because we have mutual friends that I figured he would come to and I figured out he wasn't coming. So I was like, Alana, like, what am I going to do? And I think you were like, I don't remember what you said. Were you like send a dartboard? No. Do you mind if I please tell from your standpoint? Because I probably will lie. You came up to me and Mike and were like,

Is this weird? And it was, it was, um, she was gonna like, she was looking for a thing to bring up the dart thing. Cause that was their segue to, to open conversation. And you were going to send him a clip art image from Google of a dartboard and be like,

when's our next match or whatever. And Mike and I were like, um, you absolutely can't do that. The look on Mike's face was horrified. Yeah. So I don't remember if that day you, you did it or not. No, I didn't because Mike came up with this like really good. Oh yeah. Mike was texting him for her and it was like the most flirtation. It was like the perfect text. Like it was kind of crazy. It was intense. I was like, damn, Mike, you should teach a class. He really should. He's such a good flirt.

But then in Oklahoma, you actually did it. She took a Google. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So we hadn't talked for a while and he was just on my mind and he had been on my mind for a while.

And one night, Alex Bennett had me drink one too many lunch boxes. No one else's fault but yours. And I was very intoxicated. It was like 3 a.m. I was feeling like I just missed him. And I was like, I need to figure out a way. And I was making like, I was like, I'm going to find a dartboard tonight because I need to send him a dartboard. Because if I send him a dartboard, we can talk. That's what I'm saying.

So we looked, we looked, we couldn't find a dartboard. And by looked, she means changed bars. She made 10 plus people go to another bar, walk from one bar to another bar. I mean, there might have been a dartboard there. If you live in Oklahoma City, this is Edna's to speak easy. That's where we walked. So long story short, I couldn't find a dartboard and I made

some comments to Alana like in the past. I was like, I'm just going to send him like a dartboard I find wherever. And she was like, do not do that. That is horrible. You cannot send him a dartboard until you find a picture. Well, Alana had gone off to bed. Alex was...

Do you wonder gibberish thing she does? So I helped you find the dartboard. Yeah. So I remember I like found a random dartboard. I was in on Instagram. I screenshot it so you can find the location. I edited it a bit. We put a filter on it. I put it on my story first to make it look like I took it from my story. Like the brain that was going on or what was going up in my brain at three 30 in the morning after I drank my body and alcohol was insanity. Um,

But I sent it. He DM'd me back. It actually worked. The dartboard, it was a low-hanging fruit. Like, that was y'all's thing. That was the only way to properly slide in after not talking for that amount of time and for why we stopped talking. I still think it's smart.

It was. But it was a Hail Mary. The major Hail Mary. And it was going on for weeks where she was trying to, please can I send him a Google image of a dartboard? Please, please, please. Like the way you actually did it though was good. It was convincing when you showed, I remember the picture. It was pretty good. Especially because you're so creative and graphic. Yeah, I was like, all right, I'm good to go. Sixth page of Google too. I mean, it was deep in the Google. Oh no, it was, I Googled a dartboard on Instagram in Oklahoma. So it's from a bar in Oklahoma. Yeah.

Smart. Yeah. It wasn't even from Google Images. Cousin Smart Grill. Yeah. It was from like this. And from 2014. Because I remember Alana was like, what if he Googles and sees? I was like, oh, girl, it was from 2014. He won't mind it. He won't find it. He won't say anything. Nice.

I mean, it worked. It did work. It did work for a short period of time. But yeah, hopefully he doesn't listen anymore. Oh, I'm sure he will. It's so funny because I don't know if it's coming across, but this had been brought up for, honestly, I'm saying weeks. It was probably three months. It was a theme over months. All right, guys. The dartboard, the setting the dartboard thing was something we had to be like, no, Jordan. For weeks, months. Yeah.

Because when you tell the story, it just feels like you Google. It's like, no, it was bigger than that. It doesn't sound that like. It's not a big crush. Yeah. Yeah, you had a huge crush. It sounds like you just Google. Like, it doesn't. It was crazy, I promise. Like, when I woke up in the morning and you were like, I have to tell you something. I did a bad thing. I sent the dartboard off. Oh. But hey. Not the dartboard. It worked. We slipped back right in and then we hung out a week later.

um shoot your shot ladies and gentlemen google the image okay but let's be real for every single most relationships how they start it's because someone did something crazy yeah that's true yeah i i don't think that story's that bad i really don't no it's just so funny it's so funny yeah it's funny because we kept having to pull back the reins but really i'm like

Yeah. Just do it. Shoot your fucking shot. Yeah. Like I almost tried to search schools for a guy like that to me was like very wait. That's what he's good. Please tell your story. It's just the guy that I used to have a massive crush on and I convinced my best friend that we should probably go to a different school which was that school and then we went toward it and like I lobbied for like

I used to be psycho about boys. Wait, is this the guy you saw on the plane? Yeah, he's going to know it's him. No way he listens. But I used to be like... Probably does. I think I would play... This guy, though, did a number on me because I joined a dodgeball tournament for him and drove around where he lived and attended my brother's football games. We're all crazy. Yeah, but that's what you do because that's how your brain works.

let your freak flag fly when it comes to boys you're literally never going to be noticed unless you let your freak flag fly well i think if you know i think if you fight it it it's coming out anyways so i just never fought it and was like okay you're crazy well and for mine i was about to explode so it's like they're let the freak flag fly or jordan one day you're just gonna go like i was about to explode yeah yeah i'm all for it

That's why when we're Googling images, I'm like, it's probably one of the better. I think it's obvious to send it. You're like eating Tostitos. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a stunning picture. Go post it. And if he notices that it is a Google image, that's also funny. Everything's a story. Well, because like if you think about it, if the rules were reversed and I found out he did that to me, I would be so honored. I'd be like...

That is cute. It's cute. Like if a guy, listen, I think we've all learned in this day and age to a guy either likes you or they don't fully. And so from there, if you do something a little crazy for them, how cute and nice is

As opposed to playing hard to get, Googling a dartboard, I'm in. Fuck a hard to get. I'm so done with playing hard to get. Like, show me you like me or forever hold your peace. Yeah. And I'm going to do the same thing. Because I'm bad at playing hard to get. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. The hard to get thing is appropriate in some manners. I think it's good because I think that as species we do well and we can't have. Hopefully. But then I do think there's a line where there's a time to not play it. And if you want to be a little crazy, you just... Like, if you know where... Okay. Okay.

If you know where a guy's eating and you have a crush on that guy and he has tagged it in his Insta story or a friend of a friend told you he's going to that restaurant. I'm all for. I've done that. Going to that restaurant and sitting at that bar and looking extremely cute. Or the restaurant next door. That's fine. And then post it on Instagram. No, I think you should go to the restaurant. To the one he's at. We could like cross the highway. No, you have to go to his restaurant. She's hurting us.

You gotta go. I'm crazy, but I am full-blown all in on the crazy. This isn't crazy. This is something everyone, if people don't do, if people don't have stories like either of the ones that you and I just told, they're lying. I promise you. Oh, I have friends who just have guys that they've crushed on on their close friends and they just like post like the most like

like thirst trap or like things that are specific to those guys because it's just the guys on there and they're like they slide in every time and I'm like you do you girlfriend well and they think they're one of 75 on that close friends list and there's three people close friends the best thing Instagram ever did if I ever when I start talking to a guy again I think what I'm gonna do is remove all of my friends off my close friends and just put him on there and then just start posting things that like he's talked about on his in in like our past like maybe his favorite restaurant then I'll post a picture or like

Favorite place in New York. You do a whole nude. You do a whole nude reel on your close friends as long as your finger doesn't slip and you do. Well, it's the worst thing you can post on actual friends that you thought you posted to real friends or close friends. I think it would be a nude photo fully. Well, but you wouldn't put a nude, I guess.

Be like a leaked text message, maybe. Yes. Oh, I actually have done that before where one time I posted, someone posted a really mean comment and I commented, I had a really mean caption back to, but I just wanted like my friends to see it. And I accidentally posted it on like my Instagram and I'm like,

But then I was also like, you know what? Who fucking cares? This guy told me something really mean. Yeah. Yeah. I think the bad would be like if you were single and you had posted like some seductive pics and then accidentally sent that. Because I sent one. I sent one the other day to my real friends or all friends. And I was like, damn. But then you just kind of let it go. Yeah. Well, that's kind of funny. Like the craziest things you've ever done for guys. Yeah. Like the more I think about it. I've done. Yeah. I feel like I've done many small. Not. Well, no. One. I signed up to...

In high school, I signed up to stat the men's lacrosse team for like three years and had to go to all their games. Because you liked the lacrosse guy? Yeah. That's genius, though. Yeah. It was really fun. You know, but I used to... There was a guy I was obsessed with in college. Like, anytime I would go out near his house or to his house, I would...

What? I would bring a bag and hide it in the bushes. Because you think... Because I was going to sleep over. Like, I was going to find a way to, like, sleep over and have sex with him. Did you ever? Nine out of ten times, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Like, and I was so good at making it seem like it was all serendipitous, but, like...

I was I was crazy. Hold on. The difference between your crazy stories and mine were mine. He didn't really know I existed. He kind of did. Mine wanted nothing to do with me. Wait, Alex, that's really funny. I've never kissed the person I'm referring to. No. Mine wanted nothing to do with me. Yours didn't know you existed. Hers actually had sex with her. You're like nine times out of ten. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. The crazy stuff I did. He was like crazy.

barely had my phone number. I still have it memorized. Nothing to do with me at the time. You know, you know, the dumbest thing you can do to a guy. What? Ah, God, I used to do it once a month.

accidentally send the wrong message to the wrong person. Like no one confuses contacts. That doesn't work anymore. And it'd be like me sending it to a guy named Tyler. And it's not like I'm trying to send it to a Travis. I'm trying to send it to a Zach. Yeah. And it's like, oh, sorry, I made a sense of my mom. And it's like, my name starts with a T. The only way you can do that is if you're in a group text with them also, because we do that all the time. Yeah.

Mean girl, everything. Or like I've done... Yeah, I always text the wrong group chat, but... Gone are the days of the missed texts. Like, didn't mean to send you that. No shot. Or butt dial. Like, come on. Yeah, well... Butt dial. I do that a lot. Sometimes happens. Oh, really? Yeah. Because the phones don't shut off anymore. Oh, there's a setting. Oh, you can set it off? Good, because I've been butt dialing and music-ing my ass. Oh, that's funny. Maybe you can help me with that. That's good. Wait, that was so funny. I...

the stories I could tell about being that crazy girl. But also it's just like, I'm a, also kind of a genius. It was genius. It was genius. Like I went the whole nine yards, but it made sure it was the right quarter, the right size, even sized it. I was like, we'll make this a 69 actually. So be a 16 by nine ratio, please.

Can I order one dartboard at a 16 by nine post on my story and DM to someone? And also always screenshot it because if you don't and you send it, they can find the location of that picture. Yes. God, I wish you would have kept like just a little bit that it was a screenshot off of like Instagram, just a little sliver. Do you? Yeah. Do you?

That would be a gift from God. No, it would not have been. No. No. But he'll probably hear this story and... He'll know. He'll know. There's only one man that plays darts with me in this world. If you're listening, what's up? Oh!

I wish we could go back and find like your first text, the ones that Mike was sending. Oh, I deleted everything else. I would have for sure be able to pull those up. I remember you reading them to me and they were very good. They were fucking fire. He probably was like the next week was like, who's this? No game. Like I went from having top tier game to literally bottom tier game. You know what else too? I was thinking about this the other day because we redid your dating profile and

And a guy screenshotted it in a group text to us. It was like fire or something. And I was like, oh my God, the way to get to a girl is through a girl. And the way to get to a guy is through a guy. Like a guy should text a guy and a girl should make your dating like profile app. No, the way to get through a girl is through a girl. The way to get through a guy is also through a girl. Cause I read it, his dating app and he was getting, um, a ton of people, but the way to get to a guy, Mike sent your text and it was like, he knew how a guy thought like most of the time, um,

Oh, right. Like I'll take, I would like to, I would rather take a guy's phone and text a girl than I would take your phone and text a guy because I can text her. I know exactly what the girl wants. The guy I'm guessing. That's so true. Yeah. Those texts were, those should have been framed. They were fire. Cause the guy knows how to get a guy. Yeah. And we were suggesting things and he was like, no, no, a guy would never think like that. He wouldn't like that. He'd be like, don't be desperate. Don't be like, he was like, no, we're not doing that. And I'm like, I mean, his texts were. And they had like a little bit of an innuendo. Yeah.

Yeah. Got me a first date. And the guys were like, fuck, that's fire. But then it's so funny because like to text a guy, we'll text each other and like we'll think and it's like, we don't know.

mike got me my first date yeah guys should text guys and girls should text girls because i only if somebody my brother gave me his phone he was like courting girls i could have that i think of course she what she wants this yeah i don't know what he wants you know how like when people break up and they're like trying to figure out maybe how to get someone back it's like stop going to your friends like go to the girls like the girls friends yeah go to the same the person's the same sex as yeah so

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Head to factor75.com slash mean60 and use code mean60 to get 60% off your first box. That's code mean60 at factor75.com slash mean60 to get 60% off your first box. Have you noticed I've had bad breath ever in the past 10 days? I haven't seen you in like...

Eight days. Because as I'm reading this, I've been, I flossed like this shit out of my teeth last night and there's air. Because we were standing at the sink and Graham was like, all right. And I was like, what? And he's like, the past 10 days, I smelled your breath. And I'm like,

No. I know. I'm like, has anybody else? I wonder. Wait, this is like the meat coat question. This is the question. I know. And it was really nice of him to tell me. I wonder why. I don't know. Like usually he's like, usually you have good breath, but he's like, I've been noticing it. And he's like, and standing here talking to you right now, you have bad breath. And I was like, have you changed your diet? Did you have your retainer in? I didn't have my retainer in. The only thing I've been doing is drinking, which is create diet Cokes, like a little bit.

Like if I'm craving something sweet at night, I'll just like have his diet, Dr. Pepper, my mom's diet. That's not gonna make my breath bad. No. I have had a very bad toothache in the back left though. Alex! Maybe the tooth is just my mouth. Are you kidding me? What? You have a toothache and you have bad breath, your tooth could be rotting.

Oh, no. I'm not kidding. You need to go to the dentist. I did make an appointment. Yes. You could have a cavity, a rotting tooth. It's fully. Something could be lodged up there. It does hurt. Like, it woke me up last night. It hurts. Huh. Alex Bennett. I know, but the bad breath was. It's definitely from that. Okay. Well, if you notice it, tell me. I actually haven't noticed it. It's very hard to tell somebody that, though. But I promise I haven't. I would tell you. Right now, I would. But it's hard to say it, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's hard. Yes, but I would, I will tell you right now, if you do it, I have not smelled it. Okay. All right. I also haven't been close enough to you. I know. Wait, no. I know. Yeah. And it hurts. Oh, Alex, when's your appointment? Well, I downloaded the app to make it. I haven't made it. Alex, no.

That's basically making it. No! That for me is like the largest step I would ever... I basically just went to the moon. I'm not letting you leave this apartment. I don't know what you're saying.

He leaves the apartment. I'm not letting you leave this office today until you have it because for your own sake and Graham's sake, he's not going to want to kiss you. One small step for mankind. No. One small step. One small step for a man. One giant step for mankind. That's what I have to do to this dentist. You don't need your tooth to rot. I can tell something's wrong with how you're moving your mouth. This side of my mouth hurts. Yeah, the way you're making a weird mouth or face with your lips. God damn. You're like pursing your lips weird. Yeah, yeah. It's sore. Okay.

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