Go Down On Me & You Are Not Your Relationship
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He wants you to go down and give him head. I'm going to use that term so I'm not giving away anything. Okay. How do you want him to ask you to do that? What term do you prefer? I think cock because it goes to the foreplay. Like, I want you to suck my cock. And do you want him to say, suck my cock? Or I want you to suck... What's he saying? I broke character. I was like, wait. Yo, yo, yo, what's every... No. No. No. Get it.

She wasn't. Okay. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I am Jordan, aka J Money this weekend. I'm Alex, aka Million Dollar AB. And welcome back to episode 30. And we're in a new place. We're in Huntington, West Virginia, which I think the coolest fact about that is that it's where we are Marshall's college is.

And the place that you're going to be fighting Ruff and Rowdy in. I'm deflecting. I know. We're like, okay, can we talk about Ruff and Rowdy? She's like, I don't want to talk about it. I'm like, all right, respect. At the time, when you're listening to this, it'll be a thing in the past. I'll either be a winner or a winner.

Because I can't lose. Because if I do it, if I get in the ring and I fight, which I will, then I've already won. So it's Monday sometime next week. And we're recording in the past to you. But I've won, rough and rowdy. Yes, love that. Also, definitely recommend watching on YouTube because we are in a hotel room. And I feel like it's always fun watching.

Like podcasts in different areas, environments. You know what I mean? Yeah, especially because we have the glasses on. Yeah, which I might have to take off because I feel weird. They're not... You know, like the cheaper the sunglasses are, the worse. Like they make you dizzy. Yeah. I mean, these are literally 25 cents. Oh, I love them. Yeah. Also, you guys...

We finally have Alana back in the building. Back from her, that was quite the Euro vacation. Yeah. I was so stressed towards the end. I was like, I couldn't even like look at our Instagram page because it was like stressing me out. Not because it was bad, right? No. No. I was so proud of you guys. I listened to the first pod that you put out that I wasn't here for. And I was like, oh my God.

Like, this is really good. And also, I told you this, that it was so weird to listen to it without having been in the... Like, you know, by the time the pod comes out, we've listened to it. I've been there, listened to it three times, whatever. I felt like a real listener. And I was like, this is a good show. It was also a great practice, too, having, like, a producer, our producer, listen to it from the outside, looking in. My favorite was some of the guys at the office were giving us, as always, like, some heat about what we said. And they were like, you guys do realize...

And Jordan was like, you do realize we edited that and put it out. So yeah, we realize. Yeah. They were talking about our masturbation clips. And I was like, you do realize Alex and I edited those clips. Like we know what we put out in the universe. And we needed to like be humble. But we were like, yeah, we know. We know. We know what's out there.

Okay, I will say, I think we should jump right into this episode because A.B. has a tight schedule. I'm never, I am never type A, but I'm like, let's go. Also, I will say, I feel like our episode changed a bit because on our road trip from Kentucky to West Virginia, we got a little topic change up. Yes, what did one of your friends text you? Okay, I gotta take these glasses off. I gotta look at you in the eyes. I'll do it with you. Oh my God. Yeah, so...

We were driving from Kentucky to West Virginia, and you might be wondering why, well, West Virginia, there's no place to fly in, so you have to fly into Kentucky and then drive two hours. I think another fun fact there is that we landed at the Cincinnati airport, which is actually in Kentucky. Okay, but I learned it was the Cincinnati tri-state area airport, which means it's Kentucky, Cincinnati, and then this other state. That's fascinating. Yeah. Who knew? So it's like you're kind of in three states at once. Yeah. That's why you always roll your cocaine inside your blunts. Mm-hmm.

That's a song. That was pretty good for her. I was like, I never heard that tip, but I'll write it down. I can do two things at once, but you said three states at once. So I just rhymed it. But like hearing you say it, I was like, yeah, you are badass AB. That's right.

So yeah, I was texting my I have to give a shout out my Bumble BFF group chat and one of my friends sent me a poll that she was discussing with her friends. And she said when talking dirty, which I loved because I was like, that's a big topic of ours. Do you prefer dick or cock?

Okay, the first obvious question here is, do you prefer it said to you or do you prefer to say? So the way she described it, yes, I know that can sound confusing, is, okay, so when you're doing stuff with a guy, because I don't want to say four-player sex because that's going to go into the topic, do you prefer a guy saying...

cock or dick like do you want my dick inside you do you want my cock inside you suck my dick suck my cock like a guy saying it to you it's it's so easy for me is it easy for you yeah it's dick and it will always be dick and it will never be cock all right what do you think i do totally disagree with i couldn't disagree with that more i would disagree with that as well i think you guys are team cock dick is so immature dick is i'm disagreeing with both y'all

What? Yeah, yeah. So I said, when I'm having sex with a guy, I want them to say dick. Like, I want my dick inside you. But then if I'm foreplaying, if I'm doing foreplay with a guy, I want them to be like, suck my cock. Oh, so you're both. Yeah, but I'm cock with foreplay, dick with sex. Hmm.

Yeah, I'm never cock. It's I never ever reminds me immediately of a rooster. OK, I hate to say this, but can you ever imagine Graham being like, suck my cock? No, I'd be like, suck your own cock, bro. Like, don't at me. You're also a country girl. Correct. I'm thinking of I'm thinking of turkeys with the gobbles. When you say cock, I immediately the penis is turning like to a turkey. But wasn't it? That was an interesting topic because she said her and her friends were debating it.

And everyone in the group chat was leaning towards different things. Some were saying dick, some were saying cock. But then when I separated it with the foreplay cock sex dick, they're like, wait, that's so interesting. Because when you're doing different things with guys, it's like we want them to say different things sometimes. You know what I mean? I need you to say it again. So like when we're doing things with Alex, he's like, I'm sorry, I'm fighting. I can't think of who I wasn't.

When you're doing different things with guys, you want them to say, like when you have sex before a play, you want the dirty talk to differentiate. You know what I mean? Yes. Then they went into the broader topic of, do you think it's based off of the type of guy as well? Yes. Yes, totally. But because the cock guy to me is a meathead with big muscles. Why is that? Why do I have this stereotype? Why am I stereotyping the words? I'd like to apologize. That's funny because the cock guy to me is a frat boy. What? Yeah. Who's the dick guy?

Like a CEO in a suit? No, I think it's a little boy. It's like my friend. Oh, oh. Ew, not a... Okay, whoa. No, we're just friends. That's what people say in normal conversation. That's why I don't like that. Suck my dick, bitch. Like cock is reserved for the bedroom, just like the P word. I literally can't say pussy in normal conversation. Only in the bedroom. You know what I mean? Yeah, pussy is a hard word. It's like reserved for that. Yeah, I...

Yeah. I feel like dick also is for like a relationship too. That's what I mean. It strikes me as more mature. I don't know if I want my boyfriend saying suck my cock, but like a guy I'm hooking up with, I'd be like, all right. Okay. Okay. Okay. If he, if a guy, if you and a guy are in the bed, who's this guy though? Boyfriend? Marriage? Husband? Okay. Fling?

Somebody that's more than a one night stand. It can be whatever you want. It can be a fling. It could be a husband. It could be a boyfriend. It could be somebody you're talking to. And he wants you to go down and give him head. I'm going to use that term. So I'm not giving away anything. Okay. How do you want him to ask you to do that? What is that? What, what, what, what term do you prefer? I think cock because it goes to the foreplay. Like I want you to suck my cock. And do you want him to say, suck, suck my cock? Or I want you to like, what's he saying?

I was like, wait. Because he's got to say it to you. I was doing so well. I want him to be like, I want you to suck my cock. He's got to say... I think he has to say, I want... I also don't think it's that bad if he says... Maybe like... I'm trying to think like... This is difficult because...

I'll just like I would volunteer. Nobody said it to me in a long time. I like voluntarily. Right. So it wouldn't be. But I'm trying to think of if I'm you and somebody saying it to me, I think I would rather them say like, suck on me. Do you?

Do you know what that is? Would you know what that meant? Suck on me? I'm just trying to give you like different scenarios. No. No, thank you. No, thank you. Okay, suck my cock is a yes. Yes. Suck. I would like you to suck my cock is fine. I would like you to. I want you to. I forgot the terms. Confidence. I want you to. I would like you to is entirely too polite. And you're like, get out. Please, ma'am. I would really love if you would suck my cock. I don't know how to say it other than please.

Go down there Okay Would you ever ask a guy To go down on you How would you say it

Or would you just want him to know that you wanted that? I would just push his head down. Okay, right, right. Yeah. Turn the tables. I don't know the dirty talk. Yeah, you would just give him the... Okay, I was going to ask you this earlier, but this was a big topic in college. If a guy ever pushed your head down, what would you do? Throw bows? Okay, so it's hard because in college I dated the same guy for five years. Okay. So when my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time, did that to me, I'd be like, do not push my head down ever again. So...

So I feel like the pushing of the head is a little disrespectful in my opinion. I think with a boyfriend, they shouldn't be doing that. But with a fling, if someone pushes my head down, I'll just be like, whatever. Because in college, I remember the head pushing thing and it was like a sign of an asshole. Like immediately I was like, oh my God, that's so disrespectful. Use your words. Don't push your head down. Total. But that was at a time of no reciprocity. Like, do you remember that? No.

That's just when you were giving head and you were never getting anything in return. Alex felt so dirty. There's still no reciprocity. I hate it. I hate it. I hate to break the news. What is wrong with the guys? It's either. I feel like guys are either too eager to eat out a girl or they don't want to do it at all because they don't know how they probably don't. I don't know how you would learn that.

There is no the way I think you learn it is honestly you have to talk to somebody about it. You have to be comfortable enough for somebody to be like, can you please do this? Yeah. Because there's no like rule book. I wouldn't imagine. I've never Googled it. Yeah. What? I was like thinking of something I wanted to say that I was like, do I want to say it?

Yeah. Okay, what is it? So I dabble in the porn every once in a while. Okay. And I was watching this porn of this guy eating out a girl and he was doing a phenomenal job. How do you know? Yeah. It just looked like it would be enjoyable. Because she was enjoying it or because of his technique that he was using? Of his technique he was using. What was the technique? It was like a mixture of...

his like lips and his tongue you know like some guys when they eat you out this might be so graphic but they just use their tongue they just kind of like poke it yeah yeah yeah there's like yeah yeah but i think guys forget that they should use their whole mouth and like their lips correct not like i feel like it's either like yes you're like whoa bro or it's like that's like the tongue like

They like are afraid to touch it. Correct. But it's like treat those lips like they're these lips. Yes. With a little bit more like it would be as though it would be like if these lips had a sweet spot to the that you knew if somebody said immediately touch her front two teeth and it will be the best thing ever. You would always know to touch the front two teeth like it's that simple. Yes. It's like when you make out with a girl and you like.

find the sweet spot of the tongue like how to make out tongue yes that's what you got to do down there too correct wait it's so simple it I feel like I and this is not a shade to men I feel like eating out girls is just I've I've never met a guy who's incredible at it actually I've met one guy who has who is do you want to say his name no I'm just kidding you want to give him a little shout out no I do not

But it's really hard to learn. Like, I don't know how you would learn. I say no shame at all to guys because that's such a good point. How would you learn? But if you were wondering, I think it's not a lot of slobber. Less is more. More tongue and go up towards the belly button area where, like, the clit is and just kind of go around there and be, like, sweet with it and you've got it. And also use your lips.

Yeah Don't just use your tongue Use your lips as well Yeah Gentle though Yeah Like less can be more You don't It does not need to be Like a lot of action Like less is more Because it's touch Yes Just treat them like these lips Also I feel bad yeah Because giving head I mean giving head Is pretty easy to learn

People, do you remember in high school guys would be like, this is how you give head. And it was like the thing to know. Nobody ever did that for us. No one. Okay. But think about it. Like no one ever. And there's no movie. Is there so nothing where they talk about specifically how to eat a girl out? No. So like, of course guys don't know. We, I remember being in high school being like, I got to figure it out or I'm going to be a loser. Yeah. Guys don't even know what a finger girl is. Like it's literally like jackhammer or like the gentle poke. There's like, why are guys zero to a hundred? Where's

Because nobody ever told them like in high school, they weren't trying to figure out how to help us. They were talking about who did what to them. That's so true. It's not their fault technically, but they can catch up now. It's a different world. Let's just be gentle. The vagina is a gentle, delicate flower. It's like a jelly bean. It's not. Is it? I've never heard that. Sweet as fish. Peachos. Peachos. It's like a peacho. You would never be mean to a peacho. You would be sweet to one. But I like peaches.

I like to, like, destroy those, like, the sour gummies. What about a Pichot? I guess. I chew them lightly. Yeah, you'd be sweet to that. Yeah. Yeah. You can't hurt a Pichot. I can't.

I can't hurt a peach, though. Nobody would ever. It's like a piece of gum. You chew it lightly because if you chew it too aggressively, your jaw will start to hurt. Yeah, think about that. Think about your jaw locking up while you're eating somebody out. Dude, I have locked jaw. That's all I'm going to say. But we really want to start incorporating more listener questions in your guys' topics of what you want to hear. And we posted on Mean Girl Pod, hey, guys, what do you guys want to hear?

What do you want us to talk about going forward? And we had a bunch about individuality in relationships. We're like, that's such a good topic to bring up because I feel like a lot of people struggle with it. Yeah. The thing about it is like I think about individuality in our relationship. And then I think about individuality in like your relationship with like a, I think about it with Graham. Yeah. So it's like so applicable to so many things. Yeah. I mean, you don't have to be in a relationship to, uh,

Relate to this topic at all. You can just... It even is within your family as well. 100%. Yeah, like... So I'm from the Midwest. So are you. And I don't know if it's like this in Oklahoma. But in Minnesota, people are really driven by relationships. It's very much so. You grow up...

your goal is to get into a relationship, get married, have kids. That's the goal. And like, so growing up in Minnesota, I kind of always felt like an outcast because that was never my goal. I was actually very, I was single for about four or five years in Minnesota too. And I felt very alone because a lot of my friends had relationships and

And not all my friends. Some people that I know, they made their relationships kind of their whole life. Like they would get into a relationship with somebody and that person was their everything. Like they would see them every day, hang out with them every day.

They kind of lost touch with their friends. Their whole personality trait was, I'm a girlfriend now. Okay. And it was hard because I kind of felt like I was left behind. I didn't relate to that. I lost friends because I was like, well, I want to hang out with you. And they're like, well, I'm hanging out with so-and-so. I'm like, yeah.

you hang out with them every day and there's no shade like if you want to hang out there's a significant other every day that is totally fine but that's just not what i wanted right so i felt like a lot of people in the midwest they have a hard time differentiating themselves and finding their self in a relationship yes i would agree with that and i think probably everywhere

Because I think, okay, so have you heard of the term emotionally porous? No. So like a sponge, when you're, if you're an emotionally porous person and you're around somebody that's, um,

Cuss is a lot. You're like cuss to be with them or like you kind of conform to whoever you're around. Yes. So if you're with like chameleon. Yes. If you're with the bros, you're a bro. So I always thought of like an emotionally poorest person who can kind of never really is themselves. So then when you start dating someone or when you get a best friend, an emotionally poorest person conforms to them.

And just is like them. And if you wind up with somebody, let's use a relationship for an example. If you wind up with a guy who believes X, Y, and Z, you're going to believe X, Y, and Z, get married, go on that path, and then that will be like your life. Yeah, in Midwest, we just call them chameleons. Okay, it's the exact same term. The emotional side is just more like feeling, I guess. Yeah. And the thing that always attracted me to Graham was because I had pretty strong parents. Graham was very...

very like backseat right and he showed this to you and I at the beginning when you and I started working and we would record an episode and we would show it to him a lot of times he wouldn't be like it's perfect I'm proud of you guys he would play devil's advocate so I think one thing in relationships being individual is not being afraid to challenge that person if you're close enough because it's like you know your relationship with them is strong enough so you know you can challenge them because they want that and that pushes that person to be more of an individual

No, I love that. When you were saying that, I was like, I want to reread this person's question specifically because we had so many people...

reach out about it? Oh, the main thing was like, how do you maintain individuality in a relationship? I think that's like the best question ever because I think you can get so caught up in doing what the person next to you doing. But if you take a step back and if, okay, I think maintaining individuality is the reverse of that is not caring what they think. So it's like, how do you get to that point? And I think it's,

I think it's so hard because you get caught up in doing what they're doing. But take you and I, for example, it's like letting you be type A, but then you letting me and loving me because I'm so different than you and being like, I support you for that. Knowing if we were the same, it would be boring knowing we wouldn't challenge each other. Yeah. Like actually rough and rowdy is a great example because obviously we're partners in this, but with rough and rowdy, you wanted to fight.

That's not me. That's not my personality. But something I loved is I loved organizing things for you. Being more like the manager-esque. Not sass, manager. Not sass. But being more of like, let me help you with the logistics. Let me help you with planning because that's like the person I love. We're both involved in Ruff and Rowdy, but we're very two different people in it. Right. You know what I mean? Like I'm over here like I'm your bodyguard and I'm going to beat someone's ass. You know what I mean? Yeah. So what is that? So there's the supportive element of it, but also...

but also the non-controlling element of it. Yeah. That's maybe what it is. Like, I don't want you to be mean. You don't want me to be you. So we let ourselves do our thing. Yeah. I also feel like for me, maintaining individuality in a relationship is making sure you consistently keep up with your own life. So like if I get into a new relationship, which hopefully one day I will, I want to make sure that I still make time for my hobbies, my friends, my job. Like when I was...

In high school, I was that girl who became her boyfriend. I stopped hanging out with my friends. I just wanted to be with him 24-7. It was on a healthy relationship, so I think that was a little bit of it.

But that's all I wanted. And then when I got into my next relationship, I was like, my goal is I'm going to be my own person. And we were completely our own people. Like he was the most type B human being ever. I was the most type A. I had my own friends. He had his own friends. We had friends together. Okay. And I feel like that's why I love New York so much too, because I,

the few people i know in relationships i never classify their personality as a relationship okay like you and graham two different people my other friend she's married her own person she still hangs out with us all the time but in minnesota it was like oh you're coming oh that means your boyfriend's coming got it you know what i mean you know what i think about a lot like when we're talking about these scenarios and now you're about to be like you know what i mean

I don't know why that was so funny. I was like, okay. Okay, what? No, sorry. Delivery is probably like really off today. But thinking about like the classic overbearing guy, you know what I mean? In relationships where he's like macho and he's like, I don't want you to wear that. Yes. And then you're like, but kind of like modern day being like, I'm going to do whatever I want. I don't think we see that very often. You agree.

and Graham are the perfect example that you do things where you're like, I don't care. I'm going to do it, but I'm also going to talk to him about it because I, I kind of thought like when we first got married, I was kind of like looking at him for the rules and I did it for like six months and I was kind of like, you're the man. What are we going to do?

And then I was like, I don't give a fuck what we're going to do. You do you and I'll do me and we'll come home and we'll do a moral check together. That's what it always comes down to. Like, I love that.

We'll check in morally. It's like with this podcast. Every time I go live, everyone's like, what does Graham think about the sex? Like talk that we do. And I'm like, Graham thinks if we're on here being bitches, then we have a problem. If that would be the moral ground that we would be crossing. Yeah. When we're talking about other topics like this, it's like, that's not really, he's learned to love it. I don't think he, when we first got married, I think he'd be like, you're going to have a sex podcast in three years. No way. You know what I mean? But now it's,

I think his mind's expanded because I was like firm on what I wanted to do. So I think if you are firm on what you want to do and you believe in it, then the other person in the relationship can come to terms with that. Yeah. No, I love that. So I feel like for advice to someone was like, okay, give me a quick few things on how to stay individual in a relationship. I feel like from my standpoint, be like, make sure you keep your own hobbies, your own friends, make time for yourself throughout the week, um,

Don't try not to see them every single day You know what I mean just try to be you And act like the person you were before that relationship Yeah and just I think Disagreeing like normalizing Disagreeing like if you think Love that yeah if you Think they're gonna be like no But you want to do it

Go ahead and do that thing because they'll – if you walk them to the water, they'll probably drink. You'll get through it no matter what, and most likely you'll change their mind. But if – think about compiling for 10 years. You're not doing what you want because you're afraid of what your partner is going to think. 10 years in, you're going to be pissed off, and you're going to be mad at yourself. You know what's so weird? I feel –

awkward and bad sometimes still disagreeing with people really yeah why do you think that is i don't know because i will people ask me my opinions every single day and sometimes i'll just be like yeah i like it even though i don't but it's because i don't want to deal with it or i don't want to start confrontation but i feel like you do a really good job of if you don't like something you're like no i don't like it and it never comes across as rude it's always so um what is the constructive constructive yes it's always so constructive

And I don't know if it's something that happened in my past or what, but I do still struggle with just agreeing because I don't want to deal with it type of attitude. Because you don't want to agree with it. No, I don't want to deal with it. I agree because I don't want to deal with it. Okay. Because I just assume if I disagree, drama is going to come from it or like confrontation. Mm-hmm.

And I and I don't know, I must be something from when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah, probably. I had to train myself on it because growing up, my parents, I just always agreed with them. And then the older I got, I started like wanting to disagree more. And so I had to like try. I'm trying to think like 21 year old me was so afraid. Yeah. To disagree with anybody that I was in a relationship with because I didn't want to deal with it.

But then I think I found myself one day being like, I'm just a mime walking around and everybody's pulling their own string on me and I'm like lifting an arm for them. Yeah. And it's like, I want to lift my own arms when I want to. Yeah. I'm going to make that a goal. I'm going to try to get better about...

if I truly believe I don't agree with something. I like that. Yeah, and you do a good job of it. And whenever you disagree with me, I never am offended. So I don't know why I assume people would be offended by me disagreeing. No. What was it? The compliment sandwich? Pro, con, pro. I think that's it. I love that. Really? It's like you can't critique something unless you give it like a reason and like a different direction, right? Yeah. Otherwise, you're just being like negative. Because when...

We can say it now. When Alana was editing the vlog, because that's come out, Alex didn't want a certain part in it, and it didn't come across as offensive. You were like, I don't want it because of this, but I love this. And you also had like, let's change it with this. It was very well said. And it didn't come across as offensive at all. You know what I mean? Like the boxing stuff. It's collaborative. I was going to say, that's working with people and wanting to. If you do it in that way, then it's collaborative, not, you know, like,

Like rude Yeah Right Like oh we're working together To get to a better result Yeah like if you're gonna Bring a problem or a thing It is Bring a solution with it I love that Yeah So I have a question for you guys Because I have a question Wouldn't be an episode If you didn't Yeah

So, and this is actually a great transition. So in the car ride, something brought, got brought up where it was super interesting how I was telling these two that if they have their rational fear of never knowing the next time they're going to be able to relax, like that's something that makes me panic and keeps me up. And I worry about it. Like I never know the next time I'm just going to get a day of sleep and relaxation. And then I was thinking, okay, now that summer's kind of wrapping up fall, be like,

September might be a little busy, but things will slow down. I'm wondering if once things slow down, I'm going to have a problem with that change and if it's going to bother me. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you will. And if I feel lonely? I think you'll appreciate it for the grass is always greener in these scenarios. When you're busy, you want to be calm. When you're calm, you're ready to gear back up again. Your hair's caught in the sun. Help me. Help me. Help.

Oh, here we go. There we go. My ring was caught in my braid. So, okay. So talk, so talking about feeling lonely after a change. Yeah. Is applicable to like so many scenarios in life, right? College, new city. We've all moved to a new city. High school. Even a new relationship, anything like that. Oh God. So you can feel breaking up with one, getting into one, feeling lonely after a season of change is.

So relatable. Can I just say, and this is so naive of me because it probably will happen. I, the next person I date, I want to marry because I never want to go through that post breakup change ever. It's such a painful time. We were talking about this because people were DMing saying, how do I go through a breakup? That's their question. Well, what's the tips for the breakup? Yeah.

You have. Everybody has to. You have to pay your dues in this world. And part of the dues are that heartbreak, breaking up with somebody and knowing that pain. And if there was an answer to it, somebody would have it. Some motivational speaker would have solved it. The pain sucks. And the only thing that heals it is time. Literally. And it doesn't matter if you dated this person, just had a crush on this person. Like there's been plenty of people I've indated that I've...

felt that pain of getting over just as much as an ex-boyfriend. I can go right back to it. I'm like, oh, I remember. Yes. It's like the first two weeks are the hardest and then it gets a little better, but it kind of lingers for a while. And I mean, you can distract yourself. That's an easy cop out, but it's a bandit. It's not going to heal it. You just got to you literally have to just wait for the wound to heal because, man, there's a lot of bandits you can put on it. But have you ever seen the image? This is like.

It's God is the image, but he's taking away the small teddy bear and he has the massive one behind it. No. So he's like, the little girl's like, I don't want to give him that teddy bear because she's afraid he's going to take it away and she won't know what to do. But behind his back, he's got a massive teddy bear. So it's like, I'm going to take yours away and you're going to be really sad, but look, I'm going to give you the big one. Oh, I like that.

And I feel like that's like a breakup in a nutshell. It's like at the time you're like, life is over. I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's like, hold on. Cause one day if you go through that pain, like why it's worth doing because one day you're going to get something so beautiful for a girl with a foggy brain. You're really spitting facts today. That's all I got to say. I have like three facts, but I feel like that also goes back to how to deal with being lonely after change too, because it's like,

post high school post college changing jobs like it doesn't matter if it's a person you're getting over from the change or like an actual thing like it's truly just time like everyone always I think says at least in my opinion this happened to me the the most lonely years are after college because I think that's the biggest change going from college to the real world because you don't know what to do you feel like you can't relate to anyone you feel like you think everyone's thriving but really you guys plot twist nobody is

Everyone's in the same boat. Everyone's struggling. Just no one wants to admit it. So you feel very alone. Like those are the worst two years of my life. And the only thing that got me through it was a literal time. Yeah. And it's so true because you're, everything's built in up until that stage. High school, you go to school, you got friends, college, you go to school, you got your dorm, sorority, blah, blah, blah. And then you go out into the real world and you're like, there's no rule book. There's no rule book. It's just you. You're at a job with a bunch of 60 year olds and you're like, they've got, it's so awkward. Yeah.

But you know what I'm looking forward to? What? Everyone says, like, the 30s are the best years of your life. And I think it's because the boat is finally, like, steady. Because in your 20s, like, you're just rocking this boat back and forth. And you're like, do I have friends? Do I want a job? Do I want to move? And then in the 30s, like, maybe you have a little more figured out. Maybe? Thinking about feeling lonely after a change, I really felt that moving to New York even. Because any big phase of life like that, I feel like just...

I feel like we're supposed to do it. It's good to feel it. Like you can't expect to do something big and then not feel lonely because unfortunately, no matter what, every time there's big change, you're going to feel lonely. Like I was extremely lonely after college. I was extremely lonely when I started at Barstool.

I was extremely lonely after my last breakup. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter. Okay. So being lonely in those scenarios symbolizes being outside of your comfort zone. So you did something and then of course you had to be lonely, but it's a good thing. And I was gonna say, do you want to know what came out of all those lonely experiences? What? Amazing things. Starting at Barstow was extremely lonely. Mean Girl Pod.

Post-college, I was extremely lonely. Found a way to move to New York. Post-breakup, extremely lonely. Found myself. So being uncomfortable is winning. A thousand percent. So being lonely after a change, I think we started out being like, we'll give advice on that because it's a sad thing. Turns out, A, it's inevitable. B, it's a really, really, really good thing. Yeah, and I think...

We don't, we weren't able to give a lot of advice on this podcast. Not today. But I think the best advice that I can give, because now that I'm in my mid twenties, my upper twenties correction, I have experienced a lot of, of the loneliness more than once. And I think what really helps me get through it is knowing that,

there's a lot at the end of the tunnel because my first breakup obviously was terrible but the second one i knew was going to be okay because i got over the first i'm like i've been at my most loneliest ever and every time that happens again i know it's going to get better because nothing can be worse than the first time or i know that it got fixed after the first time you know what i mean so i think just telling yourself like it's going to get better it's going to take time but if you just believe it's going to get better you'll feel better it

Totally agree. Yeah. I think it's a really good thing. Like lonely has a negative stigma because you immediately think sadness. But when you're lonely, when you and I have both felt lonely, also you were probably reflecting. It made you really appreciate the times you're not. And it means you're challenging yourself in some capacity. Like you made some kind of a change. If you always do what you've always done, you would always get what you've always got. Right. So if you were always doing just things,

Do you never heard that? Never heard that. You never heard that? How do you pull these like literally like so fluently like out of your ass? I'm like, I don't know. Like you didn't even you don't you never even like skip a beat. I don't know that. My neck's so cranked right now. I'm in pain. She's about to fight, but she's still spitting facts. We'll go through it.

I read a lot. You know them so well. I should probably be reading more again. Yeah. Sorry. I used to read all the time. No, I love it. It's just like always catching me off guard because I'm like, fuck, why can't I do that? You're like, I love when we say something real honest like, wait, and I'm like, I felt smart today. I felt like a genius. But yes. Okay. Oh.

Oh, I got it. I was like, what was it? If you always do, you've always done and you always get, we've always got right. Wait, say that slower, please. So if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. Oh, I love that. Right. That's yes. If, yeah, I mean, if you, yeah,

It's true. Correct. It's true. It's literally, sorry, deja vu, like that happens every episode. Wait, can you repeat that? And then you say it slower and then Jordan goes, what was that? Free time. I know there will be a few times where I catch Alex Tomcar, but every time I do, I'm like, damn, I did something good today. You know it is. I like remember every time where she's like, wait, you taught me something today. I'm like, yes, I did. I will write that in my journal and keep it forever. Yeah.

You guys, I can't. I can't today. I'm like, what was the point of it? Oh, so if you've done something different, you're probably going to feel a period of A, uncomfortable, B, awkward, C, lonely. All of those are good, though, because that meant that you wanted to level up in some way. Yes, I love that. Yeah. And also, if you're not changing your life, life's going to be real boring real fast. Can you imagine?

no either and i never want to speaking of how have you changed yours lately have you shot your shot that was an incredible transition finally um no i honestly alex i this summer has been very even keel for me okay i'm planning on shooting my shot when the fall comes around and the heat turns off facials

Your skin looks fly. What does that have to do with shooting my shot? I feel like that was like something that you didn't used to do, but you're doing. Oh, yes. I... Yes, I've been getting facials. My skin is... Everyone keeps asking...

why my skin is changing and it's like I'm really taking care of it. Yeah, your skin looks awesome. Thank you. Erase, erase spa facials have saved my life. Blue Mercury skincare. Speaking of that, I feel like we should quick do our recs at the end of this because people want to know. Oh, I love that. But, um, what are, what, have you shot your shot? I did. I,

i what'd you do i fought in a box and an amateur boxing match in west virginia i did too yeah that actually wasn't the one i was going to use i think i just had a stroke when you asked me if i shot my shot sorry why i was so taken aback i was like no i have not damn no shoot no shooting this week um no shooting this no shooting okay how have you shot your shot

What was it? Oh, yes. On the boxing. Correct. That's the most uncomfortable. Let me just say last week was by far the most uncomfortable I've ever felt my entire life. But my shooting of my shot was I tried the new sex position that everyone was DMing. Yes. Yes. Oh, gosh. Now we're going to be here for another hour. I'll be very quick. Amazon. Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

I don't know what it looks like You're gonna have to put the graphic up on the screen It's a very graphic graphic I looked it up and I remember I remember that position now And I've only heard great things from it Can you describe it real quick? I just don't know It would be like The guy's like that I'm the guy And he can sit on the end of the bed too Why are his legs up?

The Amazon of the position. Yeah, it's Amazonian. And then she would come in here and sit. And like the legs can wrap around even. Oh, like reverse cowgirl. Exactly. A lot of people were calling her reverse cowgirl.

Also, everyone was like, no, the dollar Jordan J. J. Money's dollar sign. Yeah, I've got others, too. So that that's me shooting. My shot was I don't know why I got into like a funk where the only sex position I could think of was missionary mean girl missionary with the girl on top. And then that wasn't working. And so then I didn't know what to do. So everyone was DMing and they were like, have you tried Amazon? It's very close. And I was like, I've never even heard of it. But reverse cowgirl fan didn't know it existed. What makes total sense?

Wait, really? Never knew... Oh, wow. Or just never even thought to try it. But, like, it's right there in your face. We should...

also talk about this though i i do think i do i do think we should talk about pink whitney because they're sponsoring this weekend and it's incredible and we're so thankful for our sponsor so shoot your shot buy somebody a pink whitney shot and sorry for spamming your instagram of pink whitney also once rough around is over alex will be drinking again so we're gonna be taking shots of pink whitney all day long but speaking of that we should talk about some of our listeners shoot shoot

Shooter of the shots. Shoot who have shot their shot because they're amazing. Okay, read them to us. So the first one is I got Bumble BFF. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I got Bumble BFF and I got Bumble BFF and have my first BFF date this weekend at a coffee shop. Cute. Obsessed. You guys know I'm a Bumble BFF fan.

Fanatic. Yes. And then the second one is made a guy leave in the middle of the night so I could sleep alone. Honey, I love that. I've done that. Thrive. Get your sleep. Guys make you leave all the time. Exactly. Exactly. And then also just like let's quick to our recs because people are always asking so many things. So like what are your like some of your quick three favorite things right now? Charlotte Tillsbury bronzer because I could not get my bronzer. So I'm trying that. Face gym. Face...

Yep. It's a vibrator. It's not a vibrator, but it's a face gym thing tool. Yep. Lymphatic drainage and lymphatic drainage massages. Love you. Mine would be a race spa facials. Sephora collection, lip liner and lip gloss. Everyone keeps asking me, Jordan, what is the lip products you are wearing? You guys, it's Sephora's line. Love. It's incredible. Love. And then my third would be, you know what? After...

today I can't I'm going to contradict myself right now I'm going to go back to diamond earrings I love that I've been doing hoops for so long but my second piercing is starting to get infected and irritating and I keep trying all these hoops and they keep hurting me I wore diamonds yesterday I did not get pain at all once so I'm going to be going back to diamonds hoops I think are over for Jordan love it love it it's a good rec yeah

Okay. And, you know, with that, AB, do what you do best. Like, comment, subscribe. Subscribe to the YouTube channel. Follow us on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, if you have one, and Facebook. Leave us a review, unless it's going to be less than five stars. Don't. And we love you guys very much. Have a great weekend. Yeah, we love you. Have a good week. Yes, have a great week. Happy Monday. And we will be announcing the winner of the...

Ruff and Rowdy lottery lottery this week on Instagram. So stay tuned. We did not forget. It's going to be coming. Don't worry.