cover of episode Dazed and Confused Ft. AB IS BACK!

Dazed and Confused Ft. AB IS BACK!

2023/9/4
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AB discusses her recent absence, the misconceptions people had about her disappearance, and the personal growth she experienced during her time away.

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I think that the biggest thing, the biggest takeaway is like Jordan and I are human. Yeah. And we always promise to be ourselves on here, but like right now this is ourselves. Yeah. We're your besties in your ear. Episode of Mean Girl Pod. Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Guess who's back? I wasn't going to talk and I was just going to pretend like I wasn't here. You guys, she's not dead. No, no. Far from. People, I mean, people thought...

The worst of the worst happened because you were gone one week. I was off social media two and a half. That is true, yeah. So I think, like, some of my, even my close friends, they were like, oh. And you just, it's so funny. I was having truly...

an out-of-body experience in multiple different ways, which we will talk about. But it's so funny when somebody's not there, where you start to think they are based off of nothing. Yes. Like, I wasn't putting anything out, and it's like, fired, dead, like, having a mental breakdown, rehab, all these things. Oh, I saw the rehab everywhere. And I'm like, but I'm not... I could be anywhere. Like, I guess...

When people I follow disappear off the grid, I think of the craziest stories too. And I guess it's different because I was talking to you every day. People are like, Jordan and Alex just ditched each other. They hate each other. They're not friends. I'm like, I text her every day. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, everything is fine. I think it was because I decided I can't be so cryptic. So I just was having basically... Okay, you know how...

this obviously is the frontal lobe and it's like the MVP of the brain. Okay. And it makes sense of things. And it's like, it's like if I walked out of the kitchen holding a Turkey, you know, around Thanksgiving, you'd be like, that makes total sense. If,

If I came out though and like a full blown bear costume head to toe, your brain would be like, that doesn't make sense. And so it like locks up. Like when you're walking, you see a snake and you freeze. Right then if somebody was like, tell me your birthday, you'd be like, I can't, I'm in fight or flight mode. But then you walk up a little closer and you're like, oh, that's a stick.

And then you're like, okay, I'm back. I'm good. Like you're not in that mode anymore. It's like if things aren't going the way you thought your life would be going. So obviously I've been having like relationship problems, which we're just still, we're just still going to call those relationship problems. And I'm going to get into that one day, but I'm not ready to get into it yet. So we're just going to group it as that love. And it was like things in my life weren't,

That wasn't just the most smooth sailing thing. And it wasn't that I was having a terrible time. I was actually loving being up here in New York. But my brain was like a little locked up and I was a bit stuck. And so what I had to do, because your frontal lobe, if it's not what you thought would happen, it can just go offline. So I was like slightly offline for lack of a better term. Yeah. And the way, the best way for me to get back online is like step back,

get away from every single factor and just get back to Alex. And then it's, it's the, I've had to do it a few times in life, but I've never done it to the extent that I just did it. And it was the best thing ever. And basically I just had to go and do some, go and do some silent, get back to Alex time. I guess you would have put yourself fully first for the first time in a very long time.

Yeah, and to this extent that it ended up being maybe like ever. Maybe I've never put myself that first. And it was so short-term, it was really hard. But I'm like, it's my only shot long-term. Like I got to go think about everything that's happening and like what I want to happen afterwards. And it's fabulous. Yeah, people always are like, why don't you just take a break from social media X, Y, and Z? And the way I described it's like, imagine if you –

ran your own business and you were head of sales for your own business. Would you take a break and stop selling? Because if you stop selling, you're going to lose clients and engagement and credibility and you're not going to make money. Like that's how it is kind of, if you jump off social media, like we don't have that luxury because we will, we could potentially lose all of that. So it's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure. And, but what I realized was I will, I'll lose it all eventually. Yeah. If I don't go do this now. And it's the best when I flew back yesterday, I

I mean, yeah. How did it feel landing in New York? I felt like I just feel so light kind of because you're out of the city for three or four weeks. Three. Okay. When I left the city, my no four, because we were in Charleston and Nashville and you went to the Hamptons and then you went right there. I was only back for a night. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. When I was going to the airport Monday morning, I was crying. I was sitting in the back of the Uber just with like tears kind of streaming back down my face. And I was like, I know, I know I need to be leaving. Fine. And I know I'll be back at some point, but I didn't really know when. And I was so, I was so cautiously optimistic at that point, but sad kind of. And now when I landed yesterday, I was like,

just so happy yeah and honestly like what a beautiful day to land like today's weather is insane yesterday was beautiful okay so also what I've learned with the was saying like I'm so happy is like okay so I used to think happy was like adding things right so to be happy I need x or like to be happy something should look like this and what I realized what I realized was like

No, to be like happy could be right now. Like if you said something would make you happy, like getting a sponsor, getting XYZ would make me happy. Yeah. And that's the only thing. And I have to have that. It's like.

no, when you're just attached to that, like you're, we're attached to all these different things and it's like, no, take them all away. Take all of it away. And you're, that's like real life. Just, they used to be happy back in the day. No phones, no income. They just literally hunters and gatherers. Happiness still existed. It's like, we add all this stuff to it. We think it, we think happiness equals addition, but it's like, it's subtracting everything and being like, are you happy now? I'm really happy right now. Sorry.

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it's cuffing season and there's no better way it's not cuffing season it's it is cuffing season it is it is i was just like oh is it it is yeah so grab your pink whitney or the bottle grab the bottle pink whitney head over hang out with your friends or go to your local bar today shoot your shot and maybe send one to that cute boy across the bar i just want to say when i was in tampa i took seven pink whitney shots good job good job did you flirt with seven boys

No, but I would say the girls I went there were the sweetest girls in the entire world. They were so freaking nice. Did you miss me? I missed you so much. I mean, like, I don't know if I can say this, but I just didn't really know the next time I was going to see you, and it made me so sad. Like,

I, it wasn't the same recording without you and like doing the show. Like I just felt like I was missing like truly half of myself. Oh, I really missed you too. I was really excited to see you. Like I just was like, I need my other half for this. It was, yeah, no. Seeing you today was like picking up my mom from the airport. I know. I was so excited to see you today. Like I haven't felt that excited in a really long time. I like saw you through the window and I was like,

Alex Bennett. And I was like, oh, hi. And then I like touched your arm. You're like, oh my God. I knew your hair was darker. I can't believe I didn't say anything. Oh my God. Your hair is short now. My hair is dark. I love your hair dark. I love your hair short. Always love your hair dark. How long is your hair right now? I'll show you.

I mean, Alex, that's like pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah. I was like, okay. Like it looks healthy. It's, it feels really healthy. So what are you going to do with it? Like, are you going to keep it? You're going to cut it? Like what's just this? I like it. This is it. You're looking at it. I like it.

It's cute, though, because then you can, like – I guess I've only seen your hair in – because when you first came to New York, you had extensions, right? I had extensions. So only extensions are your super short above-the-shoulder cut. Yeah, that's it. I've never really had, though, this length of hair. No, I think our hair is the exact same length. Honestly, it is. Yours, like, looks longer, though. It could be, yeah, for the first time. Like, that is such a cute look for you. Thank you. And you've never been able to really do that. No, I haven't. I haven't been able to do a lot of things. They were just right there in front of my face. Ha ha ha.

I was like, oh, I'll just not do that. It's like, yeah. But I'm glad you're back. I personally got so many DMs. Me and Girl Pock got so many DMs. Everyone was like, I miss Alex. I hope she's okay. We can't wait for her to come back. So we're all so happy you're back. The internet was so sweet and supportive. They really were. Said no one ever. I know. They were just sweet. And you know what's so funny, though, when you're going through something? It doesn't even have to be like a bag. The way people...

Reach out Graham and I were actually talking about this yesterday. Oh, Graham. Did you say the G word? I'm like, I texted him the other day and he I just like when he texts me back. I was just like I miss you. Oh, what'd you say?

I will not be telling that on the podcast. I will show you later. I will show you later. I was going to tell you that bagel pump, but then I forgot to show you the text. Oh, I want to see it. But I was talking to him and we were like, it's weird. We just, we just laugh when we're on the phone with each other. Never lose it. Never lose your sense of humor. Like it's all you have sometimes. And we're like laughing and I'm like,

Some it's so you learn a lot about people in times like this because some people will and I don't I don't want to say this negatively. So we'll go with the good ones first. Some people are like, hi, thinking of you with a heart. Perfect. Do you like it? You move on. Some people somebody said to him because he's obviously in Oklahoma right now. They said, I don't need to know why you're here. I never need to know why you're here and you don't need to explain it to me. I just want to tell you that you seem happy and I hope you're happy. And that was it.

I love that. Isn't that so fabulous? Because you're not invading. So I think that there's two things that happen. Sometimes people invade you. Or my favorite one is they'll pull from you. Hey, can you tell me what's going on? Okay, so you want me to type on my phone in so many words, my life right now? For who? For them. For their entertainment. And then I feel like, you know...

But whatever I say right now, I'm going to regret that in an hour. Well, that's why so many people are always like, you never really like talk to people about your problems. I'm like, I pay a therapist to listen to me because she doesn't text me days later. We like, how are you? What's the update? She doesn't do that. It's really, really nice. One of my friends said, how, what do you need right now? I do like that. And I was like, oh my God, just comfort.

Do you want to know what a guy said to me the other day? What? He was like, do you want comforter solutions right now? I said, do you listen to the podcast?

he might not solution I was like I literally go um I don't know did you want solutions or did you want comfort I think you say comfort comfort yeah most of the time it's such an important question to ask somebody do you want comfort or solutions because most of the time they want comfort but on the off chance they respond solutions please I mean you got you got to buck up oh my god yeah get to that phone you

You've got to get your head right. Like, usually I just want a hug. Yeah. I just want, like, a tight hug. Just, like, banter back and forth with me, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So I just, I think it's so funny, though.

People are probably like, you guys are being so fucking cryptic right now. I know. It's so hard. But, like, I just want to say that for the people listening to MeGrowPod Weekly, we so appreciate you being patient with us. Like, we will get back on track. But, like, life throws curveballs. And, like, there's not a perfect world where we're going to have every episode be A+. Like, we're going to go through shit. And we're going through shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think there's this...

And we literally take you with us through the ride. Right. There's this not requirement, but not expectation, kind of expectation slash desire to know like exactly what's the status and all that. And it's like on a human level, one, I'm half the relationship. Yeah. He's the other half. Yeah. Yeah.

So when I tell really what happened or anything like that on here, you know, that affects him too. And I owe him that and I want to give him that piece. And he's been, he's like, girl, do your thing. But it's like I want to, and also you have to think about how you want to tell the story because you feel so many things when you're going through relationship problems. And so it's like I'm in no rush to tell that. The best I can do right now is like,

Graham's in Oklahoma. I said this on my answer story before I left. Like, yeah, Graham's in living in Oklahoma. I live here. And we talk and, and I will keep you posted past that. I know. So the other day someone was like, why don't you just lie? And I'm like,

Alex and I have tried to fake it on the pod and lie, and you can see right through us. It's impossible. And it never feels good. No. When you're lying, then you're trying to remember your lie. My favorite episode was when Alana literally was like, all right, guys, Jordan, get your shit together. You guys both have a wall up. Let it go. And then we did, and it was the best episode. Yeah, and it's going to feel so good to let that wall down, but it's not the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Because that's messy. Yeah. There's some things if we want to talk about an argument we had with somebody, yeah, you let your wall down. Yeah. But like your life? No, you get to protect that wall. And the other thing I realized too is like,

I don't owe anybody anything around it. Like sometimes people think they confuse the term selfish. Being selfish is not living how Alex wants to live. Being selfish would be you insisting I live how you think I should live. That would be true. Truly being selfish. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think people really understand the terms selfish and selfless very well. The two commonly confused terms. Yes, very much so. I will say this though.

Wait, can I tell you some journal? Can I tell you something about a journaling? Of course. I think, yeah, I love journal. Like I think journaling is like such a hot topic right now too. So many people I feel like are doing it these days. Okay. Okay. So I took like some journaling courses while I was gone. And one thing that one of the girls said was we have, you have a story you tell yourself about everything.

So like your relationship with food, your relationship with somebody you have a crush on your relationship with money. Like you've got this story in your head, but then she was like, have you ever thought about writing it down? And I was like, no. So she's like, okay, write down your relationship with money. And I'm like, ah, and I had to fill the whole page. Yeah. And I'm like, I know my relationship with it. And then she's like, really? Okay. Does it affect you? Does it consume you? Does it own you? Do you own it? And I was like,

And then, so I write it all down and I'm reading it back to her and she's like, do you really think that? And I'm like, no, no. I think somebody told me that once. Yeah. Probably a parent. Yeah. I was like, I don't think I think that. And it's like, but she's like, you can never change your relationship with anything unless you actually know how you feel about it. So writing down, like journaling your stories that, that your relationship with your job and then write it down and read it back and be like,

that's what I think about that I don't you know it's so funny I don't know if I could read it back I've written a lot down and it's really hard for me to reread what I write really yeah I think it just because it gets so real because you know they sometimes say like journaling is like mimicking you talking to a therapist so it's almost like going back and like re-listening to those sessions I have like with exits in my past like written down the way I feel and like I'll go back and read it if I ever was wanting to get back like

being like, I miss them. Then I read, I'll read what they did to me and how I felt. And I'm like, okay, this is like a good reminder. But other things I have a hard time with. Well, because also what you could do and like is really good to do is journal everything out if you're like venting and then crumpled up and throw it away. Do you know how you finished journaling it is when you have nothing left to say? That's when you're at your true self. Oh my God. The last thing I did to like fully cut ties with, um,

Like, that ex that people heard the heartbreak episode about and stuff. I wrote a letter to him. And then I... I was supposed to burn it. But in New York, I get too nervous because apartments are so small. So, I literally just ripped it up into tiny little pieces and threw it away and took the trash out immediately. And it was the weirdest thing. Like, it felt so amazing. It's...

And people listening to you can do a notes app and delete it. But it because it's because I ask her, does it have to be handwritten or can it be typed? She's like, you can do anything, but get it extracted out of your brain like you just said. Yeah. And then like get rid of it. And it's like it's the craziest thing, but it's out of you. Yeah. No, it's it's amazing what writing like when people are like therapy is too expensive. That's true that which we totally get therapy can be very expensive. Journaling is the next best thing.

The girl was like, she even said, I don't think everyone needs to go to a therapist. I think everyone needs a journal. Yeah. And I was like, wow. And you can even do bullet points. Yeah. They don't have to be complete sentences. It could be like mad about, sad about, and then you just write it out. And then just, it could be sideways and all that. And it's just like the more you extract out of you and to like, even if you are maybe an argument or trying to figure out how to like text someone back, like write it down first, um,

take an hour, go back and read it and be like, do I really want to send this? And usually you don't want to send it. Usually you don't want to send it. Cause that text usually like we'll get the anger and the frustration out and then you're like, it's not even worth it. Okay. We're doing ads via the Hamptons.

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So give me like your, is it fall technically like Tuesday? No, I think isn't fall like September 21st. So what do we do like in the middle of Labor Day in fall? Don't wear white.

I was going to say, are we going to do fall winter whites? Like, are we going to do creams and things? First day of fall. But what's that season called between Labor Day and the start of fall? September 23rd is the first day of fall. Well, summer is... Autumn! No, autumn is the same word as fall. It's fall. What's the time? What do we call that? Summer? Summer. Still summer? It's just like how summer starts June 22nd.

But like in June, no one's saying it's spring still, but technically it is. But are we, so is it fall? No, it's, it's fall in my, in my book after Labor Day, fall starts. So Tuesday's fall. Yes. So give me your fall vibes. Like what are we like? Well, can I just say something? Yes, please. So fall is my favorite season in the world.

Out of all big four. It's my favorite time of the year. Such an odd thing to say in the world. I know. I was confused for a second. Why is that so confusing? Fall is my favorite season, though. Okay. Of all the ones that exist. Yes. And I don't know why, but do you ever have like... There's a few memories I remember of when I was really young. And there's just one where it's fall. And I don't really know how to describe it. But whenever I think of it, it just makes me happy. And I'm like back in my old house in Northfield. Yeah.

I guess that's, I never told anyone where I grew up. Northfield. Which is a population, what? 20,000. And it's out, how far outside of? 45 minutes outside of St. Paul. St. Paul. And Minneapolis. And there's two very big colleges, St. Olaf and Carleton, which are the IU leagues of the Midwest. And I was with the old SDSU photographer. South Dakota State? Yes. Why? I just ran into him and I don't know why I was talking to him. He's like this old man.

And I said, he said, where are you from? And I said, where are you from? He said, Minnesota. And I said, oh my gosh. I said, one of my best friends is from Minnesota. And then she went to South Dakota. I don't know why I volunteered your college. And he was like, no way. I went to North Dakota. Oh, you? It's okay. The amount of people who can view South Dakota, North Dakota is. But he also said the hunting season thing about football season. Yeah. It's because it's in South Dakota. Same thing. Oh, I was like, you know, the whole, what's that called? Hunting season? I thought there was like a word for it.

Oh, there is. Something starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't think of. You always know it. I know. Harvest? That's also big during football season. But it's so funny because it's like every weekend everyone's hunting. What's the first day of hunting season called? Oh, oh, oh. Open season. Okay, maybe it's that. I don't think that's the word you used.

You used to say something though. And then the, the attendance in the football games was like cut in half. Yeah. I was talking to him about that. He was like, yeah. I was like, cool. Um, okay. Keep going. What were you saying? Oh no. You have to describe them. We've been so cryptic so far. Can you at least describe the memory you had?

It's so weird. I like vividly remember wearing a long sleeve Hollister t-shirt. Remember the Hollister shirts that had like the embroidered thick letters? For $68, which was absurd. It was like, it's like white long sleeve with like orange Hollister writing. I might be able to even find a photo of the exact same shirt. Yes. Yes.

And my brother was hanging out with his friends. And I went through a phase where I was a big homebody. Like, I would, like, lie to my friends and be like, I'm busy. And I would really just, like, sit in my room and watch TV. Like, I just didn't want to hang out with people. And I was, like, by myself just hanging out. My brother was with his friends. And it was one of those days where, like, my mom had opened the windows for the first time. And it was, like, the fresh fall air coming in. And it's, like, cold. And it smells good. And I just, like, remember being downstairs, like...

And like feeling that and my brothers with his friends, my parents were off doing their thing and I was just like so happy. That's your favorite fall memory. That's like just something I always remember when I think of fall. Fall. Yeah. Isn't it so funny how something can take you back to like a certain place and you're like, yes, a smell. Laundry detergent can pop me back into my childhood home. Like some people, like I was talking to my friend, um, like this was a long time ago. She was like,

I can't remember who it was, but this woman called her by a name that her grandma called her. And that word brought her back. And she's like, I'm such a word person, like sounds. And I'm like, I'm such a smell person. Yes.

Like a cologne will throw me through a freaking loop. Well, a good cologne is... Okay, this is cool. I have something about sounds. Okay. Can I tell you? Yeah, but we also have to go back to fall. Fall vibes. Well, I'm going to do my fall vibe right now. I'm just going to put my... I'm just going to drape her over my shoulders. No, I'm pumped for fall. I'm still a sweatshirt around the waist type of gal. Oh, okay.

I am. I was yesterday on the airplane when I got up. People used to think that was such a cringy look. I've always been sweatshirt around the waist. Did you catch why I had to wear my sweatshirt around my waist? Are you pregnant? No, absolutely not pregnant. The opposite of.

Did you get your period on your pants? No, I bought pants. That's what I mean. Did you get your period on your pants? Yeah, and I was wearing those green ones that I literally wear every time I go to the airport. Alex, the amount of times you got your period on a plane? Christmas. I know. You only get your period on a plane. I know. I was like, the fuck? And it was early. Of course it was. And I was like, fuck.

That means I'm going to get mine. I know. I was going to text you about getting a period, but at that point it didn't matter because I was clearly on mine. I think I'm supposed to get mine on Wednesday of next week. So I was like, hello. Okay. Okay. My favorite fall story is, oh my gosh, mine's, I so quickly want to just like default to football season. Like walking, if you're in college, walking to campus when it's fall and like the sweatshirt and the sweatpants is the best. I'm going to try and give you a fall story from when I was a child.

So my options are. Is your fall, not to like change, like you keep thinking, but is your fall look going to be the same? Because I feel like your fashion sense has changed so much since moving to New York. Ames is the largest part of that. But like, you know what I mean? Like, because when I think of Alex Bennett from the beginning, I think of like the crazy sweatsuits and the crazy Nikes.

The Nikes will remain. You were, like, you were iconic about, like, the cool kith, like, sweatsuits. Like, remember that Claude one you have? Like, that's, like, how I think of you. But now I think of you as more of, like, more, like, street style with, like, hints of fashion. Neutral. Yeah, I've neutralized and matured. Yeah. The fashion has really, that was the term you used, too. You were like, I think it's maturing. And I was like, yes, things are 30, like, I can't tell you.

You can't take me out of my 30s for a billion dollars. 30 flirty and thriving. I mean, that's going to go over like a lead balloon. Sorry. No, it's a 13 going on 30 quote. No shit. But I know, but I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like 30 flirty and thriving. The other day, so one of my friends is turning 30 and he was like, what is, what he said? No, you have, you come on. If you have anything that you could give this episode, give it. No, no. He was just like, oh.

Because we were celebrating my friend Amy, her birthday, and she turned 26. And he was like, oh, I wish I was 26. And I was like, you're going to be 30. That's the best age ever. And he was like, what is it again? Like 30 what? And I was like, 30, flirty, and thriving. Yes. You're not flirting with anyone. With anyone. Oh, it's him. Okay, so got it. So Bethany Frankel, I only watched the first 10 seconds of the TikTok. I would imagine I understand how the rest of this one went.

Of course, you're on Bethany Frankel TikTok out of every TikTok. It's like the one I get. I follow no one but like Bethany. Oh, that's terrifying. I know. I don't even follow her actually. For some reason, it just popped up. She's always popping up. Always popping up. So she's talking about how like the 20s these days are like, you know, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, like flirty, have 75 guys, like all of those things. And she's like, my 20s weren't like that.

And I assume she went on to say things got better in her 30s and then better in her 40s. I'm sure. And I'm like, she's thriving now. I'm just so much more peaceful and like, even the fashion just, it's like, girl, the chaos is so gone. Do you want to know what fashion era I'm in? Give me a shot here to guess. Okay.

I don't know. I'm in my dress era. Oh! I feel like I wear dresses and skirts all the time. I haven't worn a... When I... On Tuesday, when you saw me recording, that was the first time I had a pair of pants on in three months. What's with the... What's the love? So, when I was, like, dating... I still am dating. But I, like... I, like...

I think it'd be really fun to dress a little bit more girly because I hadn't dated in the summer, obviously, for a very long time because it was fall and winter. And in the fall and winter, it's colder in New York, so you wear jeans. And I remember wearing a dress on a date a long time ago, like back in May. And I was like, I feel so cute and girly and just feminine. And then I just kept doing it and it made my confidence so much higher on dates. And I remember like,

I went on a date once, I was wearing a white dress, and this guy complimented, and he was like, you look so nice. And it was just like, I don't know, like, not that I need a guy's, like, I'm not doing it for the guys. I just, like, felt so, like, fun and girly, and I hadn't felt, like, so girly in a long time. Because, like, you and I aren't, like, girly, girly girls. Right. But it felt fun to be, like, a girly girl.

So, it's so funny that you say that because you don't need the guy to compliment you, but I'm sorry. I want it. If you get the option between him saying nothing and then him saying, you look so pretty, I would assume you're picking the latter. Former latter. Ladder. Second one. Where he says you look so pretty. I've been thinking lately about things that...

I'm really not that sad that often, but sometimes I get sad. Like, not sad, like... Will you repeat that sentence? I'm not that... I'm really not that sad that often. I've been thinking about things that... I'm not that sad that often. What? But I've been thinking about whenever I go to this kind of, like, this... It's a little bit of, like, an oh place. You get a little stuck. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, well...

For some reason, like in college, I used to get stuck a lot worse. And now I'm like, I can get out of it pretty quickly. And I'm like, why is that? And like the day we went to the Hamptons, I was able to kind of like snap out of it kind of quickly. And I was like, what's going on with that? Do you know what it is? What? I have to get dressed in something that's not an oversized t-shirt and baggy shorts.

Like, if I can look cute, fake it till you find it kind of thing, then I can start to – or if I can start moving, like, just walking, even pacing in my apartment, that gets it out of me. But if I can kind of dress up, then I feel – I'm like, oh, I feel better. Yeah, do you have that one – so would you say, like, dressing cues, that one thing? Like, if you're having a bad day, if you do it, you feel like it's going to, like, kickstart you until at least a little bit of a good day? My new rule right now is –

I absolutely get up and get dressed and the cuter I look like the happier I am. And if I start to ruminate a bit, I'll be like, I will make myself. I won't even think twice about it. I won't even give myself the option to be like, no, we're just going to say you get up. Headphones are going in. It's a happy song and we're just paint. We're just walking around the block a couple of times. I mean, it doesn't even bring me back to zero. It brings me back to like positive 20.

Yeah. Looking cute and like walking around. If I'm having like a bad day, it's make my bed. Go for going for a walk. I know people just like always like go there. Walk. I'm not kidding. Going for a walk will change your life. And if you can't start in squats. Also, too, if you're lonely, walk.

When I first moved to New York, people always were like, what did you do before you had friends? I would literally leave at like 10 a.m. and come back at 3 p.m. And I would just like walk aimlessly throughout New York City. Because you'll see people. Yeah. And they're also by themselves. So you're like so much less alone. Yeah. I've realized, because you know how we love the train too, and we love flying? Activities that I'm alone but surrounded by people I don't know are my favorite things in the world. And they're also alone. Yes. Because being alone is really good. Like I'm going...

on a train after this to visit my family in Rhode Island for Labor Day and I don't think I'm most excited about the train ride. No, I hear you. And then you won't even dread coming back. Yeah, no. Because you'll be like, all I have to train is the lost art of the Northeast. But like, it's not the last. It's a very found art here, but people elsewhere are missing out on it. Yeah. And it's like, all you have to do after Labor Day is just get on a train and then you get to like do whatever you want. Yeah, and the Amtrak is, I would argue, is the best train. Oh,

I would co-sign your argument. Yeah. Cause you're, you're, are you going to the Hamptons on the L I R R? No, I, I going via car. I got lucky. I don't know. Oh, I think. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. By yourself. Well, I have to be there by a certain time. No, I'm going with people in a shared house. Oh, got it. And you're taking a car. Yeah. Yeah. So what time do you have to be there? Um,

Well, I have to be there at 6 p.m. What time does the car leave, though? Oh, 1. Oh, perfect. We're on the same schedule. Yeah, so I will definitely make it. It's Girls' Night, which means games and gossip. Hopefully nice things. And you know we can't resist a scandalous celebrity headline, so the thing that we're all talking about and obsessed with is who killed Mia.

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I've read this ad five times. Find the game on relatable website as well as target Walmart, Amazon, and follow along Instagram at real Mia star and who killed Mia. Okay. So you're going to the Hamptons for labor day. Yes. I'm very excited about it. I love, so my new, not my new, but you know, one of my values is like learning. If I'm learning, I'm happy. Right. And it's so good for the brain. And like, I love going to this, this place I'm going because they put on like, well, if a

it's called padal which is aka pickleball but in europe yeah like they'll have tournaments like that or like workout classes things like that is this house you're at with joey yes got it he's going and it's like it's like so i love it because you meet people that are like entrepreneurs and like the conversations you have it's just like everything i love about new york in one spot yeah challenges yourself oh i have a question for you yes so since you took

a hiatus off of social media do you now feel like you have better balance like you're like or you ready to like jump back in and be on a 24-7 or you're just like I'm cool I'm chilling fully forgot I was running mean girl today knew I was yesterday and then like a lot like fumbled the bag like not fumbled but like when you were like we should put up a story I was like how would I even do that like what would I do with the story and where would I and who would I put you know where I like where would I put it and like I haven't even opened the Instagram like app

Damn. It's been and it has been. I'm going to have like a very new relationship with it moving forward too. Yeah. But like. It's a beautiful thing.

To have it or not? To not have it. Oh, I was like, which one's beautiful? No, no, no, no. They're both beautiful, but it's like, it's the happiness. It's the attachment thing. It's like, it is what you make it. I was listening to Girls Gotta Eat, actually, and I mean, they're so successful. They're at a point where they have like a team for all aspects of their career. And I think it was Ashley saying that she, they have people that like,

and do this or that. And like their mental health is so good because they don't have to read bad comments or see like scary DMs. Like their team will allow them to see what they think that they should see. And I'm like a day where we can get to that place would be an incredible day. It would be, it would be so lovely to, to like run other people's or something like that because there's not,

so much of a emotional yeah and you and I are so detached from it too like we're able to put that wall up but there's also something to be said for do you even need to have to draw that boundary yeah to have to numb it out yeah like no yeah so the sound thing yes it's

I think you'll like this because you, I think you would be everything I was actually like doing. I was like, Jordan, I love this. I would love, I love what you, the stuff you did. I just like love that type of stuff. Yeah. It was very like, okay, so I did, I did this. It's called a soul journey where they put you to sleep and the play, they play like drums and sound bowls and things like that. And then they, they give you four prompts and you walk on this prompt and

And you imagine things. Okay. Well, I fell asleep five minutes in and just took a fabulous 55 minute nap. But the first five minutes, all I remember seeing is this girl in a pond. Like it's me. It's like this. And she's like twirling in a circle, right? To like a Taylor Swift song.

And then that night, I, like, went on a walk, and I was, like, listening to Taylor, and I was, like, spinning around in my head. I was like, oh, that was, like, such a cute little thing. Then the next day, I go to my sound bowl journey, where they put bowls on you, and they play sounds, and you – because it activates your body. But before I did it, the girl hands me a deck of cards, shuffles them around. She's like, you know, feel them and pick whatever card, and I'll read it to you. Like tarot card? They're like –

They like are a tarot... I don't know. Okay. But I am doing a tarot card reading tomorrow. Hell yeah. So I pick one and I pull it out and it's a girl. You probably saw my Instagram. Shut the front door. I drew that one. And I was like... I was looking at the girl and I was like...

I'm iffy on the sign thing, but I saw this yesterday. She was like, that's so real. I was like, Jordan would not even question it about that. And if you read it, it's like there's no such thing as being stuck because you're constantly moving. I got like little chills. Oh, my God. Is that not the craziest thing?

No, it's not crazy because I'm such a believer of that stuff. I know. I was like, what? I couldn't believe it was the exact image and I just drew it out of the thing. Also, do you know that we're in one of the strongest full moons we've been in in a long time? Six planets are in retrograde right now. So I'm in a course with four people and they start asking us. Oh, when you were away. When I was away, yes. All these courses and things. I was doing some mental wellness stuff.

you know, thing. I was really, I'm like a student of the game. Like if I'm down, I'm like, how do we get better? And like, why, what do we do? So I'm at, I'm, I'm sitting in this class and they're talking about why we're all there.

And so we're in everyone's relationship problems, rehab, whatever it is. And so we all three go, and this guy's like, well, okay, does everyone understand where the moon's at right now? All of these things that are happening, and the professor's like, well, it might not be the moon. And he's like, no, it's for sure. I love this man. And I was like, Jordan. Jordan.

Okay, tell me the thing, though. So, we're in a blue moon right now. Blue? Yeah. Okay. Like, you know the saying, like, once in a blue moon? Yes. Like, blue moons are so frickin' rare. Like, I can't remember the last time we had one. Did you know blue moons were real? No.

we all do besides you um but six planets are in retrograde right now which is the most usually it's like one planet's in retrograde at a time like we have mercury so the last rare super moon this is the last rare super blue moon until 2037 so what is that uh 14 years from now

I'm good at math when it's, like, about stuff I'm passionate about. Is that right? Yeah. 2023 or 2037 is 14 years from now. Okay. Good job. I know. I'm really good at math when it has to do with things I like. Good job. Yes. But it is, like, I mean, we are in Mercury retrograde, Venus retrograde, like,

That's why, I mean, you know the stuff that happened this morning and last night? Yeah. That's why I wasn't that shocked because I knew...

Things were going to happen. And also remember when I sent you that tick tock about like what was going on with Libra Risings? Yes, that was spot on. That was spot on the other one. I have to show you. I can't say on camera, but it's like so crazy spot on. Like, do you mean but do you mean the other one that you tell me like the other reading? No, it was like Libra Risings will work on their like their mental health.

During this time. And that's me. I'm a Libra rising. I'm a Libra rising too. Yeah. And I feel like I'm, I mean, I'm always working on my tells. I was like, but the new, the other one for the blue moon, I read it and I was like, you got like, that's why sometimes. Yeah. I think you have to take astrology with a grain of salt, just like everything in life. But sometimes you see things and you're like, I mean, what are the odds that like what happened this morning would have happened today? Absolutely. Yeah. And, and like,

The Blue Moon, I feel like, is pretty... It's intense. Rare. And it brings out...

Like your villain side. Oh. Yeah. Like not in a bad way. Like it brings out like you're not going to take shit from people. Ah, right. Okay, okay. That side. That like, oh, side. Yeah. Sorry guys if this episode was crazy. Just bear with us for the next few weeks. When you guys get it, I feel like you've probably been... Like I think that the biggest thing, the biggest takeaway is like Jordan and I are human. Yeah. And we always promise to be ourselves on here. But like right now this is ourselves. Yeah. And like exciting...

We have exciting news we want to share. Absolutely. Oh my god, AP, do what you do best. Did you do it last time? Yeah, I was horrible at it. Were you like... I was like, subscribe, like, follow. Subscribe, follow. It was so bad. Subscribe, follow, link something. Like, comment, subscribe to the Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok.

And subscribe to our YouTube channel and leave us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcast platforms. We're almost at 50K on YouTube. So subscribe. I'll subscribe. I want to be the 50,000th subscriber. Love you guys. Love you guys. Bye. Have a good Labor Day. Yes. Labor Day is done by the time this episode comes out. Happy September. Happy fall. Happy fall.