Are You The Hater Friend & Why Do Women Nag?
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I had a falling out with one of the girls in the group, and the whole entire group, I mean, was so mean to me. So it was almost like, it's like that group of girls where I don't care what you guys think, if I hate someone, you all have to hate them too. Yeah, and it hurt me, and I'm like, damn, like, but I wonder, I feel like a lot of girls probably...

Whether you were in the right or wrong, whatever. Looking back though, like having girl drama and like people being mean to you, I feel like it's really hard to process it as girls because it can be like so hurtful at the time. Yeah. And it's like the older you get, maybe the more clarity you get on it. I don't know. I kind of wanted to see what you guys said on it because it's just now to where I'm like, oh, fuck that. We're your besties in your ear. Back for another episode of Mean Girl Pod. Mwah!

Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. I don't know why, but I feel like it's still like happy 2023. I know. Oh, we went out last night and one of the waiters was like, happy new year. I've like five days left to saying that till it's really annoying. Remember? No, literally. I feel like I feel like you can say happy new year until February 1st.

Yeah. And you know what's been mifting me lately? Mifting? Mifting? No. I've never heard that. Is that a word? Probably. Like miffing? I have the vocabulary of a small fifth grade child. Were you good in school? I tried really hard, but the older I'm getting, I do genuinely believe I'm dyslexic and I just never, no one ever took care of that.

So you tried hard but didn't do well. Well, no, I tried really hard and my grades were, like, decent. Like, I graduated with, like, a 3.6, which is, like, I got, like, the medal. Yeah. But I had to work my butt off in school. For that 3.6. Yeah. I didn't try at all. 4.0. Like, I would have, like, a zero on my homework, but I would have, like, hundreds on all the tests because I, like, would definitely never, like...

try on those. See, I was the opposite. I would get like really bad test grades because I couldn't study because I was dyslexic and then my homework would be like 100% because homework is you can do it. You try hard on the homework. Yeah. Yeah, I would like to encourage my children to take a gap year because I didn't understand the opportunity I had in college and I think if I went back now, I would

take all these different classes and like really try to get something out of it. Well, I wish I took a gap year because the year between high school and college or college in the real world is you have an excuse not to have a job and you, and this can be the only time in your life where you have no job. Totally. And you can just travel. Yeah. I also wish in college, sometimes I wake up and you know, like we have stuff to do and I'm like, wow, in college I didn't have anything to do. Like what did I do all the time? Oh, I would go to Starbucks and get, um,

Every day I went to Starbucks and I would get the reduced fat turkey bacon breakfast sandwich with no cheese. It's the best. I would eat it every day just to go on a drive. I would put the windows down, blare Lil Wayne. Oh, it was the life. College was the best. What else did you do?

I went out a lot. A lot in college. I would walk around the campus because we pay $100 a year to be able to walk on the grass. And when I figured that out... Wait, what? At the University of Oklahoma, you can walk on the grass and you pay a fee in your tuition to take care of the grass. So the moment I found that out, I was always walking on the grass. You mean like the green? The green. Of course you were. Because did your parents...

Let you guys walk on the grass When you were little Like if there was grass Or there was a driveway My parents always made me Walk on the driveway Because they were like It's rude to walk on the grass So I was taught To not walk on grass I feel like I always Walk on grass Yeah It's made to be walked on There's more grass maybe Also you're not gonna Ruin the grass Are you? No I think it's meant To be walked on Yeah I walked on grass All the time Yeah You know what else I wish I would've known About in college? What? Pink Whitney

We didn't have her. We didn't have her. And I really wish we would have. Whether you're in college or whether you're 75 years old, you should go to the bar because it's new. It's the new year by yourself, by all of your friends, some shots of Pink Whitney because it's the absolute best and it's pink and it's fun and it's celebratory. Yes. And it tastes good. We love Pink Whitney. Head to your local bar today and order some Pink Whitney, our beloved sponsor. We love her or him.

Guess what got us far last night? What, Alex? Being nice. That's so true. Kindness got us in the polo bar. You guys, we... So Alex and I celebrated Christmas because when we were supposed to celebrate Christmas, I had the flu, which now I'm so happy for and so grateful for. Same. But we use it, I feel like...

I mean, every day of the week in New York is kind of busy. But it's based off of the times you go. And we went at like 3.30. So we're like, let's go to some cool bars. Yeah, because we were like, they won't be crowded. And they were all crowded. Yes, they were all crowded. That's the beauty of New York. But we were going to this one bar. And we look across the street and we're like, to me, I feel like it was that thing where you see something just shining. It's like, come to me.

And we just were like, let's just try the Polo Bar because you were literally telling me five minutes before how hard it is to get there. Get in there. And we went up there. We were like, hey, can we, is there a reservation? Like, can we go in? And he was like, no. And we're like, oh my gosh, that's so okay. Thank you so much. He was like, wait,

He's like, hold on, ladies. Let me see if we can see you at the bar. But this is the thing. We were going to the King Cole bar in the St. Regis across the street. Also famous. King Cobra. Jordan's like, are we going to the King Cobra bar? I'm like, it's the King Cole bar, but either way is perfect. So we were walking in that. And it is. It's like we saw water in the water in the desert across the street. Literally. And we were like, there's no way we're going to get in. And it's like, why would we not try?

Well, that's just like the plaza, too. We went to the plaza hotel and we were both nervous to go in. Like, why not just try? And if we were nervous to ask the guy at the front, like, can we get in? Think about how many people don't go to the polo bar because they're just simply afraid to ask that guy standing out front. And same with monkey bar. We were like, we're probably not going to be able to see anywhere but the bar. And then we go in and she goes, you want this table? Yeah.

Fear of rejection is big because it takes it's like an ego problem to walk up and be like, we don't know anything about this. We've never been here. Can we come into the polo bar? Like, I was so afraid of him saying no. I was so afraid of the plaza saying no. But it's like, why would we not try to go to the cool places? Exactly. Because really, when it comes down to it, we've said it a million times in this podcast, but regrets always can be way worse than rejection. Like, we're just walking across the street. Then we get in. Mm hmm.

And I think the thing about the Polo Bar is it's this huge staple in New York that everyone wants to go to. And it is awesome. It's worth... We had pigs in a blanket. I wanted to sleep there. Me too. We were going to go to all these other bars and Jordan looks at me and goes, we are not leaving. I was like, I never want to go home. Ever. It's beautiful. It's a bar too where I would feel comfortable being there alone. Oh yeah, us and Bill Clinton. Bill, mother, truck, and Clinton. All of a sudden we were sitting at the bar and security walked by and

One of the guys that was sitting next to us was like, oh, guys, that means someone big is coming. And I mean, I freak out about any type of celebrity. You're like, I don't fucking care. And all of a sudden, next thing you know, it's not because Bill Clinton was coming in. It's because he had already watched past us. Oh, Bill's here. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, him again. But the guy was at the bar. Let's call him Tyler again. We're always a Tyler guy.

Or should we do a new name? Because Tyler was last week. Yeah, I know. Tyler's just easy for me to remember always. Okay, Tyler. Different person, by the way, though. Yeah, new Tyler. Tyler will always be our... Alias. Alias for men who give us really cool stories. Tyler had a hot take that...

We were like, that's not true. Tyler's 45 years old. He's separated from his wife. He has three kids. And he said the point of life is short-term happiness, not long-term happiness. Like you live every day for like the new thrill. Like you go to bed happy and you wake up happy, but it's always a different thing every day. And you never know what it's going to be. Yeah. And I just wanted to – well, we told him. We were like, Tyler, why?

We couldn't agree less. Like life is all about long-term happiness. Also the anxiety I received from that comment. I'm like, no, I can never wake up every day not knowing the reason why I'm happy. And wanting to achieve something long-term is like a blissful life. Like that's the whole reason we do everything we do, right? Yeah. It's like compounding effects that equal happiness.

And then he said, so we're arguing with him. He's like, it's short-term happiness. We're like, it's absolutely long-term happiness. You don't even invest money short-term. Like the way to get accumulated wealth is literally to invest it long-term. It's like everything should be long-term. And he's like, actually, I think the real reason is I know I can't achieve long-term happiness. So I have to go for the short-term. That broke my heart. And that was where the age thing came into play.

Because it was like, I think he had tried so hard to achieve long-term happiness. And I think his wife had beaten him down. I think he was just sad. And so he's like, for me, I have to live day to day now.

Yeah. And I do understand. Well, I mean, when you think about it, women are a lot more futuristic. Men are a lot more present. And I do understand that living day by day can be healthy. But I also think there needs to be a balance where you do strive for that long term happiness. And also for people like us who want that long term happiness, it's important for us to see the happiness in each and every day, but more of like the little things. Yeah.

totally. There are little things like we, we have trips planned and things like that. And those make us excited, but it's like, where do we want to be in 10 years? Yeah. And it's like, that takes so those strides are so much bigger than little jogs. Yeah. Like when I wake up, the little things that will make me happy is recording or getting Starbucks. But yeah,

I'm thinking about my long-term happiness every single day and what I want to do in the future. That's why we go to therapy and things. Yeah. He also mentioned, though, he was like, listen, my wife nags all the time. And he said women nag 90% more than men do. Oh,

Is that personal? Nope. Nope. No. Oh, see, I mean, no. Yes. No, no, no. A nagging woman is just asking for help. She's desperately asking for help from a man that is being willfully ignorant about

Yes. Okay, I kind of agree with that. I think that a man, when he calls a woman a nag, it's because he's being willfully ignorant to the things that she's desperately and obviously asking for help with.

Okay, I think this is the difference. It's my trigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was. Whenever I'm asking for help or something, I think the way I phrase it is not a nag. Like, I phrase it in a way that's like, this is what I need from you. And this is why I need it. And I explain it. But there are times where I'll be like, excuse me, you didn't do the laundry. And it's like, that for me is like the nag. And it goes both ways. But I do more of those than he does.

Because I don't think men think the little things are, I don't think they bother with the little things. Yeah. I think we bother more with them. Whenever I've nagged though, like you guys both have valid points. I'm like truly 50-50 on this. Because when I think about my past relationships, whenever I've nagged, it's been because I've asked my partner to do something and they never did it.

Like I've never come out of like the woodwork being like, oh, my God, why haven't you cooked today or why haven't you done the laundry? I've said that because I'm like, OK, I've asked you like 30,000 times, bro. Just do it. Yeah. Yeah. And that and that's to where and that's where she's saying this is my thing. I expect so much more.

than Graham does. Like, I have these level of things that I'm like, this needs blah, blah, blah. Oh, no. He's like, I'm cool. I think women definitely do nag more, but I feel like it's because we do expect more. And also, not to toot our own horns, usually when someone we love asks us to do something, we do it right away. We're very good at doing it. Mike was telling my friends for a while that I'm a nag.

Okay. You tell your friends or his friends? Mine. Oh. And they were like, yeah, Mike, you're right. Alonza nagged. Like, yeah. But I'm like, you guys, I'm going to start documenting the evidence of my nagging. And it's when he does the dishes. There's like,

me nagging is being like, can you like clean the gunk out? Can you run it? Can you complete the task? Like the task is not completed. So I started documenting when he would say, Oh, Alon's being a nag. And they're like, okay, you're right. Right. Yeah. It was like, he'll do the dishes, but leave like the food gunk, um,

random utensils in there. Like it's not a completed job. You know what's sad? I nagged so much in my old relationship, like a long, like my five-year relationship to the point where I just started doing everything myself because I was like, I can do it better than anyone. So I might as well just do it. And then that's bad too, because then you end up doing everything. And next thing you know, you're the cooker, the cleaner, the laundry person. And then that also makes the relationship really unhealthy. Yeah.

See, I won't do that. Yeah, I am. I'm with you on that. I won't be the one that does it. This this is why I think also Bethany Frankel said, if you want something done, give the task to a busy, busy woman. And I think that's true. Like we will get shit done 12 times faster than anybody else on the planet. Yeah, I think that all day long. However, if there's a dish in the dishwasher or if there's a dish in the sink and I've said it a thousand times, put this in the sink.

If I see it, I'm like, God, you know, can you put the dish in? But he asks me all the time to please clean my hair out of the drain. I won't and I won't do it, but I won't hear about that. He'll just he'll be like, oh, you know, and then he'll go. He will do a little tit for tat score keep moment where I'm like, there's the dish in there. And he's like, I know, sweetheart. And there was so much hair last night. But I know I'm the one that I'm the nagger. That's not good either, though. No, but it's like that's where I get the. Oh, yeah. Men don't nag. Yeah.

They just let the little things go. Yeah. And we're more likely to bring those things up, I think. No, I completely agree. I agree with both of you. Like men don't nag, but the reason why women nag is because they're not getting what they ask for from a man. Yeah, I do. I agree. I definitely think that's where it comes from. I really think nag is like a derogatory term. It's kind of like crazy girls. Like girls are never crazy. It's because a man made her crazy. All day long. Yeah.

And in this in this instance, I'm sure after 20 years of marriage, you know, he was making examples of like they they fly first class. And she's like, I would rather be on a jet. Like, I mean, this this nagging was totally separate. But then he said he was like, I think women nag 90 percent more than men. And immediately I was like, I think I agree with you.

That's fair. And not for nothing. I don't think it's a bad thing. I think we're the ones that propel things forward. Well, in his defense, I feel like at some point it's kind of her responsibility to figure out a better way to communicate with him. Furthermore, he said he thinks it all comes from comparison, which comes from social media, which I thought was very interesting because she's constantly comparing herself to everybody else who's on a trip, who's got a nanny, who's got

their kids are wearing XYZ and she'll start nagging at him because of that. And he's like, and it all stems from social media. And I was like, interesting. But what was super interesting was, so we asked him the reason he fell in love with his wife. Like, I was like, give us one, like the top reason. And he said, it's because when I met her, she didn't care what anyone thought of her or us or anything. And now...

that's the reason he doesn't want to be with her because she cares too much what people think. And I was like, imagine the reason you fell in love with someone is now the reason you fell out of love with someone. Like that's so heartbreaking. Cause he put that on like a pedestal. I'm assuming. Totally. It'd be like me being like, I love Alex because she is the funniest person in the world. And then one day you have no sense of humor. Like,

And that's the reason why I don't like you anymore. Like that. It's just it's very simple example, but it's just sad. So it's I think it's so sad. And I think this has come up a lot because I experience this with like big life changes. Oh, the reason Graham and I fell in love and where we were when we fell in love, the point we were at in life completely changed when we got new jobs, moved to New York, stopped doing all the things we were doing in Oklahoma. Yeah.

Totally different people. And we had to step back and be like, wait, who are we now? And how do we love each other now? Because it's so different. And I would think when you bring kids into the equation, right?

You turn into totally different people. Yeah. And you evolve over time. I think the problem is if we make that something we're scared of, if we become afraid to change because we don't know if our partner will still love us, then I think it's a bad thing. But I think if we allow ourselves to change and then our partners like, okay, I love this version of you too. Like I'm happy to change with you and like pivot. I think in his case, it's,

She started caring so much, probably because of comparison, probably because of some other needs. And they didn't evolve together. They evolved apart. Yeah. And I think that can be really dangerous. Also, I think if you a lot of times you're afraid to be yourself because you think others around you will judge you. But it's like you're not even giving them a chance.

Be your real self and give these people a chance to show up and be like, I love that version of you. Oh, yeah. I'm proud of you. Quick pause to talk about our sponsor Zola because when you're getting married, it's not just about the big day. It's about all the amazing days leading up to the big day. For instance, for me, I was so excited that my family and friends were there. I loved the process of registering for all of the gifts. And my favorite was all the wedding showers because they do themes. Everyone gets you presents. It's so much fun.

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by wedding experts for couples just like you. So many of my friends have registered on Zola now, and they say it's the easiest thing ever. Zola is even there for the, I can't make another decision, and we're really going to need that honeymoon day. From just engaged to the only thing left to do is say I do, Zola is here for all the days along the way. Okay, so Alex, yesterday when we were sitting and talking, you told me a story about

That I love because I felt like it was pertaining to my current life right now. And then I was thinking it pertained to your current life. Like it was the most relatable story ever. So I feel like that would be a great story for you to tell. Okay. I will tell it to you. Okay. So I was talking to a friend and she's been talking about her relationship with her boyfriend. And she's been kind of wanting to like rebel a little bit. She was a little claustrophobic.

OK, she's kind of wanting to rebel, feels a little claustrophobic, doesn't know what's going on. But she's like, I really love this person. Like, I don't know. So I'm like, tell me a bit about it. She lives in Oklahoma. So I'm like, I'm not very familiar with what's going on. So I'm like, OK, give me give me the skinny. And she's like, he he like suffocates her. And she used to post like cute selfies and things. And for her job, used to post like kind of hot photos. But she's like, I don't post those anymore because his family won't like it.

And I'm like, interesting. And then she's like, you know, I don't make as many controversial takes anymore because his family won't like it. And I'm like, OK, well, how does he feel about all of it? She's like, he doesn't really want me to do it either. And I was like, oh, two things here. I didn't know that part. I thought she hadn't even brought it up to him. He kind of will be like, yeah, we don't. Why would you why would you need to post like a hot selfie?

Oh yes. And so I was like, very interesting because you have to be your full self and really be yourself or else you'll start to suffocate and it'll come out in other areas and you will want to rebel. You will, you'll have all these other thoughts because you're not allowing yourself to be fully who you want to be. It's okay to want to post a hot selfie. And she's like, but I'm worried about what his family will think too. Like I'm really worried about his sisters. And I was like, listen,

We started a sex podcast and I had no idea what Graham Bennett's family was going to think. Yeah. But you have to give these people the opportunity. Like when I went home for Thanksgiving, one of his sisters was like, oh my God, I don't miss an episode. Like love Jordan and Alana. And I'm like, okay, I had no idea, but you have to give people a chance to support you. Yeah. But also on the other token, it's like, let's say they have a big problem with it. Okay. Well,

At the end of the day, we still have to be ourselves fully, whoever that is, or we'll start acting out in other areas because when you're not your full self, it just squeezes out.

With the guy, it's like you have to give him an opportunity to support you. Be like, hey, listen, I want to post the hot photos. That's who I am. You have to get on board with that. And he can be like, okay. Or he could be like, no. Not being your true self in a relationship, especially in the beginning of a relationship, will destroy you no matter what. I was talking to my therapist the other day because this was kind of how I was in my most recent relationship.

relationship or whatever. Sitch? Yeah, the situationship, whatever. And she was telling me, she's like, I don't care if it's... When you meet someone and you're not your true self, she's like, it could be six weeks, it could be six months, it could be six years, but their true colors...

Good or bad will eventually come out. And then how is that going to feel when you see the real person they are? And then you realize that you didn't even fall in love with the person you're with because they the personality and the person they showed you in the beginning is not the same person that they really want to be. And then she was like,

Because we were talking and the person I was with, our life cells are very different. And I try to keep up with them so much. And like, it was making me sick. Like, I got the flu. I wasn't sleeping. And she was like, you wouldn't have lasted another month. She's like, you were running yourself into the ground rather than just being honest with that person from the beginning. But like, your body physically was telling you, Jordan, you're not yourself. You're literally going to die. Right. It just makes me sad, too, because your friend, when you told me that story, she was like,

I was just thinking, I'm like, it doesn't matter how much you love someone and they can be the most amazing guy in the world. But if you can't be your true self, like they're just not your person and that's okay. It's totally okay. And I think it's really good to realize it earlier on. Yes. You know, like,

I had to realize that last year I had to stop and say, what feels off? And it's like, I feel off because I'm trying to be who I think Graham wants me to be. He's trying to be who he thinks I want him to be. And we're both like, I'm like, who do you want to be? And he's like, who do you want to be? And then we say, and we're like, I love that. Let's go be those people. We're obsessed with that. It's like, I am who I think you think I am. That saying, you know, like I am who I think you think I am. But it's like, no, you're not.

You're just who you are. Yeah. And then if everybody else is just simply who they are, then we all can exist. But you're right. Within six, your therapist said like it could be six months or it could be six years. But I think it's like constantly evolving. Yeah. And you can't have one foot in, one foot out in a relationship. You got to put two feet always there. Like, I can't remember where I heard it from.

And I apologize if you told me this, but someone was like, your feet are in front of you for a reason because you're never supposed to go backwards. Oh, I like that. Like, they're like, we would have been created with our feet backwards if we were ever supposed to go backwards. And I thought that was like the most interesting analogy. This is so season four of Jersey Shore. Is it? With Sammy? When Johnny gets mad at Snooki and Florence for dancing on the bar top. Oh, yes. Like, well, you're dating Snooki. You knew that.

Yes. You guys, that would be like me dating a guy and they're like, you cannot talk about our sex life at all on the podcast. Bro, do you know what I do? Yeah, right. They'd be like, never, Alex. You know what you signed up for. Yeah. It takes two to tango. I would have to make sure I was upfront about it in the beginning because if I was like, I don't need to talk about it. It's fine. Like that's on me then.

And Graham and I didn't even really have conversations when we started this podcast. Like he did know what we were talking about, but it kind of came out of nowhere for him. Like when I started here, it was mom daughter content. Yeah. Like he didn't know this is what it was going to be, but that's a good example of like having to go 50 50. This is the thing I think too, when you start to date somebody, um,

early on not going 100% their way not saying let me just fit totally into your life instead saying hey let's meet 50 50 I'll fit into your life you fit into my life but I'm not coming all the way and doing all the stuff you want me to do because that ends so bad and then you're like I am your robot and the guy's like playing with the puppeteers no it's like let's meet in the middle and we can learn a little something something from each other no Alex that is literally

I think one of the biggest reasons why I have a hard time getting in relationships because I am that person. I, when this is a horrible thought, but whenever I start dating someone, I always say to myself, I don't like the person I'm becoming because I'm, I, for some reason feel like I always have to, I just like can't fully be my a hundred percent self. And I don't know why. I mean, I'm aware of it, but I don't know exactly why I do that. But every single man I date, I'm like, I don't like the person I'm becoming.

Because I'm not my full self. And I feel like I'm changing for them. Okay, I think the good thing there is when you find the guy that you really love, if you do, you'll take parts of you that'll stay the same. And then you'll...

it's called emotional porous, I think. So you'll conform a little bit to him and a little bit of the way he does things, but he'll be the one that lights you up. Like that brings out the best in you. Like you're probably a bunch of different things. And then you get around these guys and it's the worst ones. And you're like, I don't like who I'm becoming. Like, I want to be all these things. They,

Then you'll get to a guy and he makes you laugh. He challenges you. You're curious. Like, he is also curious and you have these great conversations. You're like, I love who I am when I'm with him. So I think it's cool that you're able to fit into these people's lives too. That's true because we all have had friends who –

turn us into people we don't like but now i'm at the age where i've gone through so many of that where i'm around friends who bring out the best i mean i love the person i am around them and that can be the same in relationships too totally we talk about proximity all the time it's like they really do bring things out and relationships so important yeah because you're kind of like giving a part of yourself up and to them and so you have to make sure when you give yourself to them that they take care of it and when they give back it's the best can i uh

talk to you about something that has to do with relationship 2023 you're not gonna say can I ask you a question that was a different that was wow you thought about that I also this is not an excuse but I told you this yesterday I like everyone knows like I whatever that relationship was ended I have just been so emotionally exhausted these past few days where I like it's

So it's been so hard to even form thoughts and sentences where I can even think about asking you a question because my brain isn't all the way turned on. Oh, but now that you mentioned that, Alex, can I ask you a question? Yes. It's not really a question. It's more of like I was reflecting on something.

my most recent relationship and this TikTok came up and it just hit home because not only does it apply to me, it applies to you. It applies, I'm sure, to Alana's life. It applies to family, friendships, everything. And this girl said, everyone talks about cutting people off, but no one talks about the grief that comes with having to stand firm on your decision, even though it's not what you actually want, but it's necessary for your well-being. And I was like,

Oh, wow. Because if you end something with a guy that no one really likes or they're like your friends are like happy for you, then no one ever really talks about like the grief you're feeling of standing firm in that decision, even though it doesn't like you didn't want it because you still like them. But, you know, for your well-being, it's what needed like when Graham cheated on you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that to me, in a nutshell, goes exactly to the point of short-term versus long-term. Yeah. So short-term, what's less painful? Staying with the person that's bad for you. Staying with Graham, even though I knew he cheated on me. Okay, long-term, what's better? Cutting it off with a toxic person.

having to do a cold hard break after you've been cheated on it's so painful in the moment but long term you reap so many more rewards because you put in the good work yeah because it sucks when you end something with someone you actually still have feelings for like i'm sure when you ended things with graham yeah you were pissing him but you didn't you didn't just like fall in love with him that second he cheated on you it hurt it

so fucking bad. I was in physical like pain. Yeah. And did anyone ever talk to you about

that type of grief of standing firm in your decision where the, you know what I mean? Like it's kind of hard to verbalize, but everyone who's gone through it knows what we're talking about. Have you ever had a friend who isn't outright like an asshole, but you're like this, this friendship doesn't serve me every time I'm around or we're gossiping and it's draining. Yes. So you say to yourself, I got to draw a line in the sand. I'm not hanging out with them anymore. I've had that friendship. Yeah. And then they text you.

And you're like, oh, big group's going. I'll just go. And it's like, no, because if you go, you take a step backwards. And that's like a form of grief, too, because it's like it's not easy to have to draw the line in the sand. You start to convince yourself it would be fun. But you know what's best for you is not hanging out with that person because they don't make you feel happy. Yeah.

And it's like that and killing a friendship like that is also a form of grief and it's really hard in the moment, but it's better long term. Yeah, because you might have that short term happiness, but then the long term happiness is going to be not there at all because you're then the next thing you have to wake up and realize that now you took a step back. You kind of have that friendship again and then you have to go through the grief all over again.

And it always, the world always works where it's like, you said something you feel icky about because you knew if you went around them, you wake up and you're like, it's just, and it's like, you're right back to where you started and you knew it. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's like, would you rather end things now with that friend or family member or boyfriend or girlfriend and feel really, really shitty for maybe like three months or end it in,

and have that up and down, really, really sad, kind of happy feeling for a whole year and then feel like shit for even probably six months because you have a longer, you've established a longer relationship with that person. That's such a good point. Did you ever have any, well,

What? Nothing. Mike is just pissing me off. I'm just laughing at the mic. Also, can I ask you something? Yeah. I need to know if I'm the asshole because this is making me think about something. Oh, okay. Okay. I probably am, but I, whatever. I have good intentions. Wait, Alana, do you have a question? Yeah, I actually have a burning question for you guys. Okay. So my girlfriends live together, four of them.

And they obviously, you know, have like roommate issues sometimes. And they always, every single one of them vents to me about it. Oh, that's hard. Yeah. So, and I, it's just like dumb shit too, right? Like, but festering stuff. Some of it can be, is bigger than, you know, just roommate stuff, but whatever. And like...

They were all like talking about the one and like the issue they had with her. Mind you, these are like my best friends from like childhood. And I know how she feels too. So I'm like, guys, I'm fucking tired of this. This is what she thinks. This is why she feels this way. And maybe if you just knew that, you can all get over it. And then everyone was like, oh, everyone was like, I felt I left this conversation feeling like an asshole kind of.

Because I was the messenger a little bit. You know what I mean? Because like I told you guys this so you can know all the details and therefore like talk about it and get over it and stop just gossiping about it all the time. Do you know what I mean? Did number four, the odd man out, know that you were going to deliver the message? No. Yeah, because like when I hear that, I think. But it was like, so it was like earlier in the day. She told me this earlier. She, number four, told me earlier that day. Okay.

And then one, then one, two, three, uh, I was with them later in the afternoon and they were talking about it. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's fair that you were put in the middle by any means, but I don't know if I would have, I would have tried to set everyone down in the same room. Like you guys, we're all going to figure this out together. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I feel like you dropped the bomb and then you got to walk off. Well, I didn't walk off. I was there for the rest of it. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I'm saying the four of them have to go back home and live together and you're out of it. And so it's like you ignited the fire, threw kerosene on it, lit it, stood there for a little bit, got your hands warm, and then you got to go home and sleep with Mike.

This is true. And the four of them had to go and they'd wake up in the morning together. Yeah. Yeah. I was probably just festering, honestly. I think you knew that, though. Yeah, I was fucking done. You started it. I just am done with... I was like... And that's what I said, too. I was like, I'm done with this, you know, just like bullshit. Well, we're at the age where we need to know that if we have a problem with a friend, we can talk to that friend. Yeah. Like, I... Yeah.

I don't, we shouldn't be talking behind our friends' backs anymore. Like, we're 27, 29, 26. It's like, that's very high school to me. Like, my issue with a friend, I'm just going to be like, you know what? I'm going to give it to you straight.

Yeah, because the way that if I always think if a friend will gossip to me, they'll gossip about me. And it makes me trust them like way less. Yeah. If I know I can leave the room and I know the soldiers in there that have my back. Always with girl stuff. I learned that in high school. Like last week's episode when you said we're at the age where we're building our army for the worst days. Only for the rainy days because we've got the sunshine days on lock. But I learned in high school because I do want to talk to you guys about girl drama. Yeah.

Because I've been, for some reason, it's been on my mind, this thing that happened to me in college, but... Well, and the Kim K video. And the Kim, the hater friends. But in high school, I learned when I left the room, who would talk about me and who wouldn't. And the people that would talk about me behind my back were when somebody else left the room, they would talk to me about them. Mm-hmm.

And I knew immediately at the time you feel safe, you know, your friends talking shit on your other friend that's out, that's going to the bathroom and you're like, okay, I'm safe right now. Well, then it's your turn to go to the bathroom. Yeah. And guess what they're doing? Talking about you. It also sucks too because I remember so many friendships of mine in high school and in college were based off of, like our relationship formed based off talking shit about other people. I remember one time I was like, I was talking to my mom and I'm like, all I do with this one friend is talk shit about...

other people and it wasn't necessarily like our friends it's just like people in general I'm like that's the basis of our whole relationship it's toxic it's negative and I can't be friends with her anymore because we like being positive around her would be foreign like

And she wouldn't be receptive to it. Exactly. It's a false sense of bonding. You think you're bonding with somebody when you're gossiping, and you're not. You never are. The only way to bond with somebody is to go up. It's like when you prey on other people's relationship, thinking yours is getting stronger. Yeah. You and your husband are having problems, so you start talking shit about the people that live Tom and Sally down the hall. Yeah. And you think your relationship's getting better, but the second the conversation's over, you're just left with your same shitty relationship. Or when you...

form a relationship around only being drunk together. I don't care if you have meaningful conversations and you're drunk. It doesn't count until you're sober. Yeah. It's a, it's a false sense because as soon as you're sober, you're going to be like, this is foreign to me. How do I, how, how do I act around you? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's false and it feels, it feels really good. I think it can almost be addicting to people. Yeah. But you'll go, there are people making new friends is hard, you know? Right. So I have found myself, um,

This is a long time ago because now I've learned it. But if I didn't know what else to talk to the person about, if I've tried everything and we're like not hitting, sometimes if they turn to gossip, I'll be like, yeah, and I'll get into it and I'll leave and I'll be like, that's not bonding. Well, it's a cop out because some people don't want to challenge themselves to have meaningful conversations. Like I've gone on dates with people where I've tried to have meaningful conversations. And one guy a long time ago was like, wow, you really like to have deep conversations. And I'm like, bro, no.

Where did this trauma come from? Are you, can you not be vulnerable? I'm sorry, but if you can't be vulnerable, no relationship in your life is ever going to form. Well, and what are we going to talk about if we're not, like, what do you want to talk about? What's the way you want to fill the air with? Like, what's your favorite food? Like, you like hot dogs? You a burger guy? He talked shit a lot about, like, he would vent to me about his friends a lot. I'm like, I don't even know your friends. Yeah, that's exhausting. Like, we had friends of friends. And.

And a lot of our conversation would be him just like venting. And it's like,

Like, you don't, this is a false sense of bonding right now. Yeah, people put others down to make themselves feel taller, but it's actually, we're getting old enough now to know when you put somebody else down, you're smaller. It's like, you think you say, you think if I'm like, she's not even that cute. I got cuter? No, I got 25 times uglier. Yes, I'm like, you're ugly in my eyes now. Yeah, like, I hate gossiping about people that have nothing to do with my life. Right. And like, what they're doing. Like, I don't give a fuck.

Fuck. Like, the only thing that's fair to gossip about is, like, they did this to me. Like, I feel this. They're making me feel bad. Blah, blah, blah. Like, when someone starts gossiping about, like, can you believe what she wore to whatever? I'm like, dude, I, like, don't give a fuck. Like, my mom's like that. Yeah. Well, like, let's be clear. Like, this... We're not saying you can't talk to somebody about your problems. But you need to...

make sure that that conversation you're having with that person is getting you to a place to have that conversation with the person you're talking about. Yeah. You can have an outlet. I think there's a really good, there's certain friends where you're like, I need to talk to you because this is pissy. And of course we're human. And like, please do that. Yeah. Like, I don't know what to do. I need someone I can trust to vent to.

Absolutely without a doubt. As opposed to I'm trying to fill the air. Yeah. And it's coming from a bad place. And talk to that friend because you were trying to come up with a game plan on how to fix these issues. That's why I bomb dropped. Bomb dropped.

And a good friend, yeah, yeah. And a good friend too will make you. They'll call you. They'll be like, no, sorry, don't like the way you handled that. Or stop talking to me about it. Go talk to them about it. Yes. There's been so many times with my best friends where I'm like, okay, we've talked about this now three times. You have to have this conversation with that friend. What are you doing about it? Like, what are we going to do about it? And it's just like, even if your friend's dating a bad guy, it's like.

Bad friends, bad guys. Like you should always be helping that friend to come up with a game plan. Yes. Did you? Yes. Did you ever have were girls ever mean to you?

I'm going to be honest. No, I was never. I was very lucky where I was never bullied. I was no one ever like was mean to me growing up. And I know a lot of people are like if if people weren't mean to you, it's because you were the mean person. No, I was not. I was I was also like, though, I was weird. Like, I was not cool. But I was younger. Like, you guys saw the picture of me like, oh, yeah, I was kind of a nerd. I was like,

I was shy. Boys scared the shit out of me. I didn't do anything bad. Like I was just like a scared little girl. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, okay. I in college had a group of girls that,

That were so fucking mean to me that I drove home in the middle of the night and like balled in my dad's arms and one. And then like a week later, drove down to Dallas, which is like a three hour drive from Oklahoma City to cry to Sydney. And I stayed there a week because like I didn't know what else to do.

And it's taken me until the past like two months. I would never talk about it. I didn't know if I was in the wrong. Like I would walk into our sorority house and like they wouldn't speak to me. Like they were so mean to me. And I never could like process it. Do you ever figure out why? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I know I kind of know the story as to like what it was over a boy. But the girl that looks like you. Yes. Oh, and her whole friend group was so mean to me. And even like years afterwards were still mean to me like it hurt me so bad, but I could never look back on it.

And like stand up for myself and be like, no, they were fucking mean to me until like the past two months. And it's like coming and it's like it's taken me almost eight years to be like, I think I was bullied by like a group of girls. Like what happened all of a sudden to make you like realize this? I got I got I had a falling out with one of the girls in the group and the whole entire group. I mean, was so mean to me. So it was almost like it's like that group of girls where.

I don't care what you guys think. If I hate someone, you all have to hate them too. Yeah. And it hurt me. And I'm like, damn, like, but I wonder, I feel like a lot of girls probably, um,

Whether you were in the right or wrong, whatever. Looking back though, like having girl drama and like people being mean to you, I feel like it's really hard to process it as girls because it can be like so hurtful at the time. Yeah. And it's like the older you get, maybe the more clarity you get on it. I don't know. I kind of wanted to see what you guys said on it because it just now to where I'm like, no, fuck that. Yeah. I mean, when I was in college, my second year in college, I was like,

the two so there's four of us living together and two of those the two girls were so mean to me and the other girl and I mean we were so young like we me and this other girl probably a little mean back but it was like that's the only thing I ever that was the only time where like a more than one girl was like really mean to me all the time but I can process that because I'm like we live together we did everything like it's a little bit different I feel like

I don't know, like, I really can't imagine what that would feel like to be iced out of a friend group. And I would try to say hi to them, too. Like, I remember at some of their weddings, like, I would say, I would try to say, like, hi to the girls, and they would just be like, hi. And I was like, damn, no, like. Still? Yeah, and it knocked my confidence for a while because I felt so awkward. And now I'm like, don't fucking treat somebody like that. Like, I was wronged, but I couldn't accept that for so long. Also, the fact that these girls are holding onto this image

hatred for you over the stupidest thing ever i'm sure because it was college it shows the level of maturity they have and like the level of growth they have not done right and now i'm i want i think i wonder now if i saw them would we be like hey hey what's up like how are you you know maybe some of them have a baby maybe i don't even know like what everyone's doing but i i don't know why it's like maybe i've come more into myself and like you know what you deserve and like

Sometimes I think maybe the biggest thing is you look back on situations and if you were treated wrong, somehow you thought you were in the wrong. No. But then you become positive you weren't. Yeah. No. That's like any time you end things or when I've ended things with guys, I think that like...

I always think like was it me but no wait I didn't have to remind myself no they treated me wrong and there is such thing where you were actually treated wrong yes like why do we have this thing where we're like oh well I was definitely culprit for all of these reasons and it's like and a lot of times there's beauty in taking ownership but I think there's certain scenarios that are so bad where you're like no that was fucked up and they were wrong fully wait can you say that again

Like, no, like the treating. Sometimes when people treat us wrong, we think we are in the wrong. Yeah. I think sometimes when we're being treated wrong or a situation ends or something, we sit there and we're like, I definitely had 50% of that. And I think, and I love the ownership because I think a lot of times we need it. I love that. But there are certain times where it's like, no, I wasn't the asshole. I just wasn't. And you all were. And I didn't, at the time I couldn't stand up for myself.

Like, I didn't have the power because I thought I was really wrong or something. They make you think that. Yeah. But to stand up and be like, no, fuck that. Also, just because more girls disliked you, like the numbers game doesn't count. Like just because it was like, let's say four girls who all thought this way about you does not mean that you were in the wrong because they for sure, since four of them thought that way versus one, like Alex was definitely in the wrong.

And I didn't go gather my troops. Exactly. I didn't go shout it from the rooftops. Yeah. You didn't come up with people to bully them back. No, I wasn't like, oh, you guys have an army of five. Here's my army of five. I told my two friends exactly what happened, exactly what happened. And then I told my two friends, you always be nice to all of them. Always. Like, you don't need to go to war for me. I'm good. How embarrassing to like, I would so.

Can you imagine being like, okay, guys, you two better be mean to everyone who hurts you like that. I would be so embarrassed if you guys were ever rude to even a guy I dated. It's also like you never got the apology. So it's probably confusing. You know? You never got the closure. You never got to be like, oh, okay, maybe they were wrong. I actually think that's probably a big part of it. Like, it's just like left. Yeah. Yeah. And you're at an age where, I mean, that's very traumatizing. I think it was traumatizing. Friendships for your whole life. Did you live in the same house? Yeah.

Like, was it, like, a sorority house or they were just, like, in your sorority? We lived in the same sorority house, yeah. And then after that, we lived in separate houses. Like, building friendships when we're young is so important in building meaningful conversations. Like, any type of person...

I think, and this is a little drastic, but we talked about this last night is we like accept the love we think we deserve. And that goes from family, friends, boys, girls, like relationships, anything. So it's like if you have these friends, these girls who you thought were your friends showing you the love that you think you deserve, like that's traumatizing. And then you, I feel like would be very broken to find any other friendships going forward. Yeah. I was scarred for a really long time and I didn't like trust people. Yeah. Were they like your actual friends? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say they were. Is it all over a boy? I think it's. Yeah, I think so. And I think it spiraled. It happened to me, but I got the apology. See, that's. Yeah. And I always knew that they were like fucking lame about it. So I don't really care. My friend, my friend was dating my best friend from home. And then when they broke up, everyone was like, well, why are you still friends with him? Like, I've known him for like 10 years.

Like, you dated my friend. Like... Oh, and they wanted you to hate him. Yeah. It's like, no. No. That's funny. You're like, no. Like Kim K said. What'd she say? She said she doesn't have... She's like, I don't have a hater friend. No. Let me play it. Let me find it. I...

I feel like in this part of my life, I don't have any hater friends. I don't think I do either. Growing up, I definitely did. I probably was a hater friend growing up too because I was insecure. I look at my friends and I light up when they are doing amazing things. And I'm so proud of them and I'm so excited for them. You're not like a hater friend. They're absolutely not. And you can't, I don't even have those in my life.

I do not have one hater friend in my life. I don't have time for it. I don't have room for it. Kim's version of a hater friends is she has everyone in her life supports her. Right. She doesn't have time for anyone who...

Because essentially, I think the interviewer was getting at like, you must have friends in your life who are jealous of your success because you're Kim freaking Kardashian. And she's like, no, all of my friends are so excited for my success and are so genuinely interested in my life and want to be a part of it. And when I'm successful, they're happy for me.

Okay, and I love that. Yeah. And what it made me ask myself, though, was not who do I have any hater friends, but am I supporting people enough? That's what I asked myself after I watched the clip. I was like, can I find... I love that. You know, I'm like, I...

The obvious ones that I support, but then I'm like, can I find another person to just like reach out to me? Like, hi, I'm really freaking proud of you. And I noticed what you're doing. And like, you go girl. Cause when people send us that it means so much. Yeah. But I'm like less about and more about who am I, who am I not hating on? I saw this quote today and I was like, wow, I love that. It was,

And I'm going to try to reword it. Like I said, my brain just isn't working like I get used to. It was like in 2023, we're going to be supporting everyone's dreams because supporting other people's dreams will not take away from you reaching your dreams. Love that. And I saw that. I was like, that is so valid. Like, just because I'm...

And we do that so much. We bring other people down because we think that's going to get us ahead. But it's like you bring other people up is actually going to bring yourself up long term. There's nothing more rewarding. They say when you're inside your head, get outside yourself. Yeah. I love that because it's like when I'm in here and I'm like, it's like send a nice text, write a nice letter, comment something nice on someone's photo and immediately you feel better. Yeah. Like I think and it's like when you're really tired.

My brother the other day was like, I'm exhausted. And I was like, but when you've got good energy around you, the world makes you less tired. Like it just does. And I really think like energy and all the things like that, like positivity propels you forward. Positive vibes only. I've truly believed since I was very young that good things happen to good people. Like positive energy. Like my dad used to always joke with us because my dad's kind of a negative person. He'd always be like, whenever you and your mom travel, everything's perfect. But whenever I travel...

Something always bad, like something bad always happens. And I was like, dad, because we're positive. Literally, that's the only explanation is we are positively thinking and manifesting, knowing that this trip is going to go great where you're like something bad is about to happen. He's just waiting for the next shoe to fall and drop. I don't know. Drop, drop, drop. Even if even if something bad, you know, when you're when you are in positive mode and something bad does happen.

You're like, oh, it's all good. It probably happened for a reason. Like you don't even take it as a bad thing. It gets perspective. Like, I mean, not to toot my own horn, but that's what I did. I was like, yeah, that's ending this relationship sucked. But this was the universe allowing me to go into 2023 with only positive people who love me. Yes. It's like it's like silver lining all day. Yes. Love it. We love positive outlooks only. Oh, positive outlooks only.

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I love that. Okay, time for the listener question.

I like to think I'm rather ambitious, always wanting to grow professionally, have a new hobby, try something new, etc. Or my husband is certainly adventurous, has a great job, etc. But having goals isn't his thing. I'm so attracted to go-getters, work hard mentalities, etc. But not his thing. How do you find your husband's good qualities and focus on them?

Okay, I have a question because mainly to you because you're married. Shouldn't you know your husband's good qualities before you even start dating them? Like that's the reason you fell in love with that person? Yes, totally. I think...

Absolutely. And you can list them off and they're like right at the tip of your tongue and they're obvious every single day. Yeah. All the good things. The reasons you fell in love. Yeah. Right? Like this isn't one of those scenarios where this guy's probably changed. He's probably always been that way. Or he just never showed her his true self. Or she didn't know what she was attracted to. Yes. Or she liked the idea of him. Mm-hmm. So it's like, okay, at this point, I think you have to say...

Because you have to realize what you love, obviously. But I think in this instance, it's like, how important is it? How important is the ambition for you? For me, it's a top three. Yeah, same. And for her, maybe it is too. But it's like, God, I don't know. I have a...

I have a hard time thinking you married somebody that like, for instance, Graham kind of fell out of this a little bit. I had to remind him he's had it since I've known him. It's a burning like fire. And I went to him and I was like, Hey, heads up, turn the lights on. Okay. We're back. Yeah. For this instance though, it's like, if he's not ambitious at all, I think you have to find lots of other things around it and say, I love these qualities about him. And then, um,

You got to bury the ambition thing because you're not going to make him more ambitious. Yeah. And unfortunately, since I'm single, I'm taking a little bit more of like a negative approach to this. But I don't think you should ever get into a serious relationship with someone unless they do hit your your core values or until you truly know what you love about that person or until you truly see their true colors in every situation. Totally. Which is very hard, very hard to do, especially if she has like pressure of like,

everyone around me is getting married. I just need to find someone to get married or I love the idea of him or maybe he showed a different version of himself. Like we don't know the full story. Totally. And if he does have ambition in him, but doesn't know how to get it out, she might be the perfect partner for him. Like she needs him to be ambitious. But in order for him to be ambitious, he might need her. So she could try that where she's like sits him down and says like, I love ambition. It's really attractive to me.

do you want to set some goals or something? And he could be like, oh my God. Yeah. I've been wanting to do more. I just don't know how to do it. Like she, since she values it so much, she might be the perfect puzzle to his piece to help him navigate it. Yeah. And it's okay to like push your partner a little bit to, to try things that you love. And sometimes they'll be receptive and they will follow you. And sometimes they won't. And like, that's okay.

oftentimes it's why they picked you because you bring out something in them that they're really attracted to so now that we've talked about it more I bet he does have a little bit of ambition in him and she's perfect for realizing it but she just needs to tell him yeah he can't maybe he can't find it himself but she can do it exactly I like that

Are we going to spin the wheel? Yeah, should we quick spin the wheel of misfortune? The wheel of misfortune. The wheel of misfortune. Okay, so it is misfortune. What did you used to call it? I used to say misfortune. Yeah, and I didn't know if that's just how you said it or not. I think that might have just been how I said it. I noticed it too. I thought maybe it was like a Northeastern thing. I don't know. I thought you were just being cute. Maybe I am just cute. You're sexy. Okay.

Okay, you're not cute. Sorry, that's you. Okay. Bad double date story. I don't like double dates. I think they're overhyped. Double dates...

either the best because I think you could do a double date in like sweatpants with like your best friend and like their guy or like in a sporting event that's the best in the entire world the worst is the starter pack couple that we don't know that well and we're trying and you go to dinner and you're stuck there for the entire dinner and there's four seats like this and you're like do we sit beside each other do we sit across from each other

Do it's like an interview where you're like, what? So what do you do? And then all three of us have to sit there and listen. It's the worst for strangers. Yeah. Like you don't have ever been on one like that. Wait, where you don't know. You don't know. No one knows. Oh, no. Sorry. Like it's like Mike's friends and his new girlfriend. And like, I don't know her. Double dates have to be activities. They they should totally be activities, especially sporting events. Oh, my God.

Even like a freaking movie because you don't have to talk. Yes. And you could just sit there. Yes. When I was in college, I had a friend and I was dating Graham and he was in town. And my dad was like, I want to set your friend up on this double date with my dad's financial advisor. Very serious moment. And I was like, okay, great dad. So we drive to the city. Graham drives us and her and I take shots the whole time on the way to, it's like a 45 minute drive. Blacked.

The fuck out by the time we get to the dinner. Graham's not the financial advisor does not think we're funny. We don't remember like halfway through the dinner and just safe to say we never heard from him again. Oh, it was. It's one of those days where you wake up the next morning and you're just like, it's so bad. Just just brutal.

Just bad. But I think we were doing it. It was a really fun night, but that was bad. And I think my dad got wind. I think he was like, how was it? And the financial advisor was like, interesting. How old was he? Older. Definitely older. I think the only type of bad double date story I have, it wasn't bad. It was just, it reminded me of something because you just said what you said. But it was...

I don't think you should ever drink heavily. I'm voice texting. You're voice texting. I don't think you

think you should ever drink heavily on a double date because when us three went on our triple date I remember waking up the next day with so much anxiety because I was like oh my god at the dinner part we were all like blacked out in my head like so I have a problem where when I'm with somebody I like and I drink I just make out with them I cannot not make out like my friend Madeline will literally make jokes and be like she made a joke to someone one time she's like we can go on a double date with them but she's gonna make out with him the whole time so that next day I was like

Did I just make out with him in front of Graham, Alex, Alana, and Mike the entire night because of the pictures I was seeing? Oh, no, you were good. I think you guys were just like touching under the table. But still, I had the worst. I was like, Jordan, you can never drink that much when you're on a triple, double date. Wait, I prefer

You know what I like about that though? Because you guys were touchy. It made me feel better because if I go on a double date being married, it's like, okay, we're spoken for. Right? Like we're not questioning. You guys have been dating so long that it's like you guys were the new ones and I don't want you to feel awkward. So when you start kissing and stuff, I automatically felt more relaxed. It disarmed me. Yes. I was like, oh good. Because I kind of felt like we were like your like dance monkeys a little bit. Like we were trying to make the night fun for you guys. I don't want you to see me making out with anybody.

- Why, I liked it. - I watched you make out in New Year's for like 20 minutes. I was like, okay, I can go. - I don't know why, but I get such bad icky anxiety the next day. Like when you told me my New Year's kiss was like a full blown make out, I literally was like, oh my God. But you guys, when I drink, I make out, making out is like, it's like my second language.

I love it, though. I love it. I think it's great because you're like, I don't get to do drunk makeouts with Graham anymore because he's sober and he doesn't want to dip with me in the club. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't want to. Oh, also, I will say he's totally dropped the nose. No sex. Sober thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like last night, he was like, come here. And I was like, OK, when you got home last night. Yeah. And you we were so drunk.

I was. So remember how I told you whenever I'm near my period, I have two drinks. I'm like, I remember I don't remember even getting home last night. But really, all we had was like four drinks. I know. That's the scary part. From three over the span of six hours. I know. That's why I think when I'm getting my period, alcohol will...

Yeah, I think that's the only thing. Yeah, because I was completely fine. Yeah, no, I wasn't. Oh, I was like labeling things. No, I woke up this morning and I was like, what happened? Oh. Yeah. It was weird, but also...

Not to keep bringing up, but I do think like when you are like more like emotionally or mentally exhausted, alcohol just like hits you harder. Totally. And then when you're starting your period, there is like a scientific thing where it does hit you differently. Yeah. But I'll use that excuse like in the middle of the month. Yeah. I'll be like, oh, my period's in 21 days. So I'm sorry. Because like there's some days where I can have 20 drinks and feel fine. There's some days I have two drinks and I'm like, whoa.

What happened? We just had wine and champagne and gin. The champagne at the plaza is so good. Okay, sorry. It's so good. Quick pause to talk about the one, the only, speaking of long-term solutions, BetterHelp. Because this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you are at your best, you can do great things. And when you're at your worst, you can get a lot better. Jordan and I love, live, and are obsessed with therapy. Because why? Why?

Because we consistently and constantly always want to be growing and bettering ourself. Totally. And people we love around us. Absolutely. We show better as ourselves when we talk about our feelings. It might be, it might seem scary to be in therapy, but I think once you take the first step, you, you experience what we experienced, which is just like a fuller life and you're way more in touch with yourself.

So all you have to do on BetterHelp is fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist. And you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge, which is the best. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Mean Girl today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Mean Girl today to get 10% off your first month. Enjoy. Love. Well, Alex, do you want to do what you do best? Like.

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