Mr. Bag
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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Welcome back to another episode of Mayfair Watchers Society. If you like the show and you like what we're doing, there are a few ways to support us. The first is by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Reviews are the best way to get our shows into the ears of new listeners. Or, you can download the Apollo Podcast app and get early and ad-free access to our episodes. We air new episodes on Apollo two weeks in advance so you can listen before anyone else. You can learn more at ApolloPods.com. And now, this week's episode. We are the Watchers. Observers of the Strange Paranormals.

Welcome to the Mayfair Watchers Society.

Hello? Hello? Quiston? Hold on, I'm going to turn on my camera. No. I need to show you my room. Okay, no, you can, but when mine comes on, you have to promise not to look because my room's messy as fuck. Okay, okay. Ta-da!

Oh, you got that poster I sent you, Fring! Yeah! It looks so good. I wasn't gonna do it, but it kept rolling up and falling off the wall, so when my mom was going to get the frame replaced on her degree, I asked her to take it to the framing place. And the frame matches the fairy lights so well. That's actually so good. For sure, for sure. Did you get anything else for your birthday? I mean, like, my grandma sent me money. My mom got me these new shoes, but, like, not to be mean, but they're so ugly. I don't know what I'm gonna wear them with.

Ugh, me. My mom keeps getting me dresses from the store that she really likes, but it's like, mom, when have you ever seen me dress like that? Oh, the one other thing, and this is like actually a cool gift. It's this bracelet. Oh, Fleur, that is so pretty. Yeah, this one's from my dad. Is that Tiffany's? I don't know. No, no, he said it was... Shit, I'll look at the box.

She's an independent designer called Marie Lichtenberg. That is so cool. It looks so good on you, dude. Thanks. That's all for gifts, though. You didn't have a party? I don't have friends in real life. You ought to come out and visit me when school's over. Maybe, if my mom will let me fly up to Vancouver. I think she still assumes you're a human trafficker. I mean, I have only been calling you every day for like two years. You never know. I'm playing the long game.

I take my face off right now and it's a mask and I'm actually some 50 year old dude. Then I take my mask off and I'm an FBI agent. I want to get up north so bad. It's way too hot here. My window's right by the alley between our house and the neighbors so I can always smell their trash. Oh, ew. Yeah, it's literally been so bad these last couple days. It's like something died out there. I can barely stand it. You okay? No. I'm so done with this fucking school, man.

I just want this year to be over already. Hey, I'm always here for you if you need to vent. So that bitch Rachel was inviting everyone to her pool party, right? And like, I know I'm not going to be invited, whatever, but she felt the need to rub it in, I guess. Oh no. She came up to me and was like, I don't want to come off like a bitch for not inviting you. Already failed. Already failed step one because she is a bitch. Anyway, she's like, I didn't invite you because I figured you don't want other people seeing you in a swimsuit.

Literally what the fuck? What the fuck, right? And like, the worst part is, she's not wrong. I don't. But you're so pretty. No, I'm really not. Not swimsuit pretty. Stop being so mean to yourself. I'm being realistic. Everyone else is mean to me, maybe they're on to something. Maybe I'm just stressed because it's so hot. Fuck this weather. Still?

Yeah, and my neighbors still haven't put their garbage out on the streets, so there's just this hot trash right under my window. You can't even imagine how bad it stinks. Hello? Hello? Hold on, I need to spray some Febreze. This is what I've been reduced to. I have to spray every five minutes, basically. Can't you, like, complain to someone?

I asked my mom if we could ask about it. She went over next door and she knocked, but I guess they've already left for summer vacation. And they just left all their trash? I don't know. I guess. Oh my god. Do you think they're dead? Don't joke! But they might be. It smells like it. I know what'll get your mind off the stink. Yeah? Don't read the link. Just click it.

Oh my god that's so gross! But it got your mind off the garbage smell, right? Wait, that reminds me of a TikTok I saw earlier. I gotta find it. What's outside the window? Huh? Oh, you're right. What is that? Is that a person? Hello? You saw that, right? It's got a face. It moved.

It's like a... It's like a trash bag sort of thing? Like a person wrapped up in trash bags? No, like, it is the trash bag. Now you know where the stink came from. I guess. Dare you to try talking to it? No! Do it! I don't know. I kind of feel like it's friendly? For real? Yeah, like, it stinks, but it's kind of cute.

In an ugly way. This stink is powerful though. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. Do you understand me? My name's Fleur. Are you friendly? What if it's lying? I don't think it is. I think he's chill. Hey, he's looking at the shelf next to the window, see? I think maybe it likes shiny stuff, like a magpie. That must be why it's been hanging around. Are you gonna give it a present? Yeah, I'm right, aren't I? Hold on a second. It's a music box, see?

My dad brought it for me last year. He doesn't visit enough to notice if I've re-gifted it. You like it? And you said you don't have any friends in your hometown. Shut up. Dare you to pet it? Ew, I can't! Come on, do it. He's your new friend. Oh my god, it's so hot. It's been in the sun all day. Well, I guess that's what he wanted. He's leaving now. I'm gonna wash my hands. Shit. Shit. Hey, did you see the, uh... Now's not a great time.

What's up? You know that silver bracelet I showed you? Yeah, the really nice one. It's gone. Shit. Mom's gonna be so mad at me. And now it smells like my friend's back. Oh, yeah. I see him. Oh my god. That is so freaky, man. His weird little face. He reminds me of that guy from Spirited Away. I don't know. I'm getting kind of used to him. I feel like he just sticks his head in every so often just to see how I'm doing. You know, like when you feed a stray cat?

Have you told your mom about Mr. Bag yet? Maybe she's got some demon bestiary in her bookstore with, you know, like, old-ass woodcuts of him or something. Of the trash bags that existed before trash bags. Ooh, spooky. No. No, you know she doesn't believe in this shit. She doesn't believe I'm psychic either. Even though I had a dream about her car getting rear-ended right before it happened. You never told me that story. I mean, I had a dream about it happening, and then it happened. That's kind of all there is to it.

So what happened with the bracelet? Ugh. So we had gym class today. Already terrible. Already terrible. And I was getting changed and Rachel... Fucking Rachel. She walks up to me and I'm tensing up because I know she's going to say something shitty to me. And she's all, oh Fleur, I love your bracelet. Where'd you get it? And I told her it was a gift from my dad. What did she say after that? Nothing. But after gym, when I was getting changed back, my bracelet was gone. I know I put it in my bag, but it was gone.

So you think Rachel stole it? Seems like it. Or, I don't know, maybe I just want to blame her because she's usually the cause of all my problems. Or... maybe he took it. Mr. Bag? Maybe you dropped it and he picked it up. We know he likes little trinkets. Hey, Mr. Bag? Um, you know how I had a bracelet before? Do you have it? I see. I guess Rachel did steal it. Oh. You want me to take it back? Thanks, I guess.

And there he goes. Trevor Henderson here with an ad break. If you'd like to get early and ad-free access to Mayfair Watchers Society, consider supporting us on the Apollo Podcast app. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. And now, back to our show.

Hey, sorry. My mom said I had to eat dinner at the table. No, you're good. We'll keep the call short, though, because I'm going to the movies later. Oh, congratulations. So can I give you an update on the bracelet thing? Oh my god, yes. I told my teacher about it, right? And she was like, well, we'll search Rachel's bag for it. But here's the thing. Rachel didn't show up to school today. That is so sketch. Yeah.

I bet she doesn't want to see me because she knows I'll confront her. But joke's on her, I'm totally gonna hold a grudge all summer and give her shit as soon as classes start up again. You should make a note. September 3rd, 9am. Punch Rachel in the face. It's on my to-do list. As well as everyone else. People know Rachel and I had beef with each other, so obviously people think I had something to do with her missing school.

Back in ninth grade, this guy Ian started a rumor that my dad was in the mafia. So naturally he was going around like, Fleur's dad probably put a hit on her. You should tell him he's right. Then maybe he'll learn to fear you and keep his mouth shut. I tried that once, around the time he first started saying it. And I almost got suspended for threatening violence because a teacher overheard me saying I'd make him sleep with the fishes. Nice. How's Mr. Bagg? Smelly, as usual. He was watching me walk to school today.

When you see him from outside, it's like absolutely wild how tall he is. I have a theory. Hit me. Somebody spilled toxic waste on your town's dump, and now it's all just up and walking around. That makes about as much sense as anything. But personally, I think he's just like the manifestation of all the trash people leave on the side of the highway. Like, there was just so much of it that it developed a mind of its own.

That's so deep. Hello? Hello? Show me the nail polish you got. Okay, check this out. Whoa, that shade is amazing. Right? And if you shake it, it kind of changes color. Look at that. Ugh, I'm so jealous. I just got blue. You're so boring. You always get blue. I just know what I like. God, Fleur. This is so random, but you just reminded me that today in English class we were reading...

I don't want you going out tonight, Fleur. Give me a second, Kristen. No, you're good. You're good. Mom, I'm on the phone. Did you hear what I said? I don't want you going out. I'm not going out. I heard Joanne down the road was having a pool party, and if you're going, you have to get a ride from someone. Do not walk there. I wasn't invited, Mom. I'm not going anywhere. Okay, but just so you know...

Yeah, Mom. Because after Rachel Burke going missing, I don't want you staying out at night. Mom, I know. I won't go out. Promise. Alright, I'll let you go. Have you done your homework? I will. I love you. I love you too. Thanks for closing the door on the way out, Mom. That was just my mom. She told me Rachel Burke's gone missing. Missing? Yeah. And that's your Rachel, right? Bitch Rachel? Yeah. Shit.

I can't get him to leave me alone. I'm so sick of him showing up at my window. How often is he there? I don't know. Too often. He keeps bringing me things. Like, things you'd find in the trash. Look, look, look. I have this old dog tag, a bottle cap, some kind of... I think this is a part of a hair clip? It's weird. I wish I knew how to get rid of... And right on schedule...

I cannot deal with that smell anymore, dude. I'm fully gonna jump off the roof or something. Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away. Go away! Don't turn and look at him. Like, seriously, don't give him any attention. Okay. Okay, he's leaving. He gets the message. Thank God. I think I'm just on edge from the fact that Rachel's been missing. Like, yeah, I know I hate her, but it's still really unsettling, you know? Oh, for sure. People at school won't leave me alone about it either.

I think it started as a joke, but now that Rachel's actually missing, there are people who genuinely actually believe I did it. What? Like, that you killed her? She's not dead. Not officially. But yeah. Either my mafia dad had her permanently disappeared, or I killed her. How do you think they did it? Can we change the subject? Right. Sorry. Sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm on edge.

I'm noticing weird things everywhere. Like, you know how I was saying that my neighbors looked like they were on vacation? Yeah? Their mail is piling up. And I was thinking to myself, if they were going away for this long, they'd get someone to come over and pick up their mail, right? Maybe. Like, that makes sense, but it's not proof that they're dead or anything. I guess. God, the heat. The smell. I'm going crazy here, Kristen. Kristen?

I have to come visit you in Vancouver as soon as possible. Like, after this week, once school's out, that's my priority. You have to. I have to. And you have to take me to that place that does the rolled ice cream you were telling me about. Absolutely. So, tell me about this dream you had. Okay, so... You know how I told you I have prophetic dreams? About your mom's car, yeah. Well, last night I had a dream that I was in the car, and it was night, and...

Okay, so there's this really specific gas station we always stop at on the way back from visiting my dad's place. I was in the car with both my parents, and we were there. And my dad parks at the pump, and he gets out and asks me if I want anything. Then he goes in to pay. Meanwhile, my mom's sitting up at the front reading, and I turn and look out the back windscreen, and Mr. Bag was there. But he was like 20 feet tall. Or, no, even taller than that, probably, because his head was like...

taller than the trees on the road on either side, and he was really slowly walking towards the car. Like, really slowly, like he was underwater. Shit. That's so freaky. Yeah, and I was crying for my mom to look, but you know how in dreams it'll be like something bad is happening, but you're the only one who can see it? Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, he's getting closer and my dad finally got back in the car and we started driving and I knew that wherever we stopped next, Mr. Bag would be there. And I could smell him in the dream. He smelled even worse. I woke up coughing. I think I made a huge mistake ever giving it anything. You were just trying to be nice. Yeah, but I think it's linked to me now. I think I might be stuck with it.

I think you might just be stressed because Rachel's missing. Didn't you say you had to talk to the police on your last day of school? Yeah, I did. We all did. Nobody's seen her in like three days at this point. Well, it's like you said, you're stressed because of that. Maybe. But I have to ask, do you think Mr. Bag has something to do with her going missing? Doesn't matter. Because Mr. Bag hasn't been back. At least, not while I'm awake. I think it comes looking for me at night.

Because sometimes I'll get a whiff of trash for a second. Then it'll go. Are you worried he'll try to get inside? How could he? He's too big, right? Maybe you should keep your blinds closed and your windows locked, just in case. Will do. I'm gonna go back to sleep. It's way too early to be up on a Sunday. It's like 10 for you, though. Yeah, but it's Sunday. Talk to you later. You too.

Dude, isn't it like 2am where you live? It's in my house, Kristen. I got up to get a glass of water and I could smell that hot, nasty trash stink as soon as I got downstairs. It's in here somewhere. Yeah? Yeah. I need you to stay on the phone with me in case it kills me.

What what are you gonna do when you find it? I don't know I'm getting a knife. Okay, be careful. Don't like trip and kill yourself It's in the basement

You sure? I can taste the smell. Even through the fucking door. It's right there. Oh my god. What do you want? Why are you in my house? Is it moving? I can't tell. It's just looking at me. What do you want?

You want to kill me? No? I don't believe you. Do you think you should call the police or wake up your mom? Holy shit, Kristen. It's moving. Oh my god. It's coming up the stairs. I don't want it back. I don't want it back!

Don't want what back? It's the bracelet Rachel stole from my bag. I don't want it back! I don't want it back! Mom? Mom! Honey, what's wrong? What happened? It's in the house! Oh, God! What's that smell? I don't want it back! Stop it! Stop it!

Holy fuck! Are those body parts? Thank you for listening, neighbor. Mayfair Watcher Society is based on the works of Trevor Henderson. Mr. Bag was written by Meg Tootin. Kristen was played by Madeline Moore.

Floor was played by Addison Peacock, and Matilda was played by Crystal Lewis. Dialogue was edited by Daisy McNamara. Sound designed by Travis McMaster. Music by Matt Royberger. Our showrunner is Pacific S. Obadiah, and our creative director is me, Trevor Henderson. Produced by Tom Owen and Brad Miska, A Bloody FM Show.