Dana Carvey: Say It to My Face
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Well, well, well, we have a little podcast. We talk all the time, but we don't talk about Jesus, do we? We say naughty words and get tingly in our bulbous area. I know.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Literally. Today is a historic day because we have our first three-timer, first guest who's appearing now for the third time. And I couldn't pick anybody if I tried who's better to be our first than Dana Carvey. Needs no introduction. The man is a national treasure. For the third time and probably there'll be many more, Dana.

We made it as awkward as we can, but that was great. That was perfectly ill-timed. Hopefully not like my appearance on this podcast. This is perfectly well-timed because you are the first ever host

Three-timer. God, I feel like if I get to five, will I get a jacket like SNL? Do you get a jacket at SNL? Five-time club. There's the five-time club. Yeah. Now, Mr. Rob, Robin Lowe, is that your name? Robin Lower? Rob. This is Senator John Kennedy. Now, you tweeted last September, your words, not mine,

that you think most human beings are idiots. Do you still stand by that? Senator...

I'm not here to answer to something that may or may not have happened. I need a yes or no. I don't need a speech. Anyway, he's Ross Perot reincarnated with a slower draw. How happy are you when you have one of your great impersonations and then somebody comes along that sounds just like them, like that? I know, and goes in slow motion with the paper. Now, I'm—

Here, what I saw is, no, he's a new toy. I mean, you can't compete with Ross Perot. Can I finish one time? But I'll tell you what, I'm just coming on to Senator John Kennedy. It's going to evolve. It's just like where Biden went from, my father lost his job, to can't believe it's not butter. Yeah. Have you seen the great meme of him trying to pronounce, it's clearly like a Chinese leader or city. He was like, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese.

She-Gawk, Shenson, and then... It's so... Hey, come on. This is my best. The slow motion nose itch. At the end of the day, they sit him down. Hey, as everybody said, all right. And Obama's watching. Faster, Joe. Come on, come on. You got to get that nose cleaned out. Let's get you doing Obama right now. Can you do it? Well, that's...

You know, there's a chance I could do. What folks? I don't know. I don't know. You know, it's funny. Whenever a politician hits you with the phrase folks, they're about to lie to you. Good observation. No, 100%. Yeah. Both sides of the aisle. The minute they hit you with the word folks, they're about ready to fuck you.

It's like Elizabeth Warren, I'm going to drink me a beer. I'm going to drink me a beer. It's like John Kerry in 2004, too erudite. They put him in a camo outfit in Alabama. I'm going to bag me a critter. That was the quote, not a joke. No joke. This is why – the other thing is – this is just the stupid stuff that I think about – is –

You know the difference between a politician and an entertainer. And by the way, politicians shouldn't be – have to be entertainers. But I remember when John Kerry came out in the convention and his opening line was, I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty, right? Because the theory was Bush ditched the war or whatever. That was like a play on that. That's right. And he obviously was a war hero. Swifty boats. But he comes out and he goes, I'm John Kerry. And they go, ape. Yeah.

And they applaud for like five minutes. And then he goes, and I'm reporting for duty. I'm like, what? Like, I'm like, John, you got to say, I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty. No space. Yeah, I know. Well. Pro moves, baby. I'm John Kerry. And I know I'm an unusual looking individual. Yeah.

I know I frighten children. Some people say I look like the tree in The Wizard of Oz. I was going to say, is that a thing? That's a thing because I couldn't have just thought of it myself. I was about to say that. That's a bit that I used to do at Flappers. I think, unless someone else wrote it, that he looked like the trees from The Wizard of Oz. And I will say, get away from apples. Politicians are fascinating people because they all have to sell us like car salesmen.

Yeah. And the thing that occurred to me as I continue, because I interrupt Spade, now I can interrupt you. That's great. Perfect. But was that when I did Bush, it occurred to me like the satire was really about the macro idea that every president is selling their administration's

Sure. And so that's what they do, and that's their job. So they're like salesmen. Things look good. Do you do a Kamala Harris interview?

That was my Ricky Gervais doing Kamala Harris. Because it didn't sound anything like her. But she's joyful. She's interesting. When Kamala got the nomination, I thought this is like that moment when McCain unveiled Sarah Palin and Tina Fey's phone must have blown up.

When Lorne Michaels saw Sarah Palin and knowing about Tina Fey, he literally got up and danced a jig in his socks in his living room. There's no question. It's so exciting. I've got to get up and dance. I don't usually dance, but if I did, I would do it now. Okay. I had a personal bet with myself. The first Lorne. Okay. We're

We're 12 minutes in. We're 12 minutes in. That was pretty great that we didn't do it until now. We didn't go to our well. It's hard to come up with new Lorne-isms. Do you have any new Lorne-isms?

I don't really know the ones I did last time. Just, I like the classics, you know. The miniature hot, you feel yourself being less hot, you know. That's just basic. How could we love you if you won't go away? A career is like a pendulum. It goes slowly across. And if you hang around long enough, they're like really glad to see you.

They're really glad to see that. This is like tennis, Lorne. Dana, never underestimate television and the notion of a generation of people doing their homework while they watch you. Anything that starts with never underestimate. Dana, never underestimate the invention of the screen door.

And then it's that thing like. Well, he literally said to me, never underestimate the value of water. We all got that one. But was he pouring water from like six feet up into a hole? Dana, never underestimate the value of me telling you things you should never underestimate. Okay.

Well, the best we talked about last time that makes me laugh is when I told Lovitz I was going on a walk with Lorne. Have a good listen.

I did a walk with Lorne, and at one point he looked up and said, trees are essentially violent. That's my bit! God damn it. Yes. Did he say it to you too? No, I must have got it from you. And then three years later, I decided I thought of it. Yes, it was. And it was, and it was literally...

It was, there's nothing more violent than a tree. And that's an absolutely true thing he said. And he's right. We have redwood trees on our property that want, they want to move the house. And they have the power to do it. Have you ever seen the roots on San Vincente, what they've done to the sidewalk? In front of Brian, I was over at Brian Grazer's house. You couldn't even walk in.

It's that thing of like violence is generally very fast. With trees, it's very slow. It makes it all the more sinister. You know, the thing about the show. No, the thing about the show is that there's a show. A friend of mine was a...

was with Lorne when, you know, and it's always that thing when a big star like you leaves or every, yeah, like every, you know, every 10 years, 12 years, somebody moves on from SNL and it's always like, will the show survive? And this was Will Ferrell and Will was moving on. And somebody said to Lorne, I was like, God, how, you know, this is the last show of Will. How are you feeling? He goes, somehow I think we'll make it. Yeah.

I went out the back door. It was a different time. Now people leave and they do a dance with Lorne and there's champagne and it's a sad song. Did you go out and say you were taking your talents to South Beach or anything like that? No, Rob, this will trend. I got too hot. There are too many inputs for my brain and personality. I was torn a million ways. And I had a lot of hungry relatives, so I did a couple of horrible movies right after SNL.

And because it was all about going to take over for Letterman for one year. Oh, yeah. They gave me a million dollars. My manager at the time, Brad Gray, was very clever at that kind of thing. You're going to get a million dollars. I go, why? What do I have to do for it? Just to say you're thinking about it. They got a meeting. Amazing. So I didn't have any obligation.

Wow. Those were the days. Those were the days, you know. And so then it was, should I do the talk show? Should I do this or that? And also because of Wayne's World, and I blame Mike Myers for its success. Yeah. So much success. So much success. Everybody loved it. They love it. It's a good product. And they watched it. And they...

And they really like it. They like it a lot. People say no, and they say we can't do it, and they say we can't. But I say you're going to look at it, you're going to see it, and if you see it, and if you look at it, we're going to go places like you wouldn't believe. We know how to go places, and we're going places. I did that last time, right? That he always sounds like he's pitching a family vacation. No.

That was my hook for Trump. He always sounds like he's pitching a, because he never end runs his sentences. He never gets into a hole and I should, so he just keeps talking. We're going to go places like you wouldn't believe. And we know we're going to go and they tell us no, but we're going to go there and you're going to see it and you're going to love it and you're going to do it. And we're going to do it anyway. We know how to do it and we're going to do it and we know where we're going. Excuse me, dad, where are we going for vacation? Disneyland. We're going there. We're going places, many places. We're going to go. You wouldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it.

But when are we leaving? When are we leaving? How are we going? Are we flying? We're going there. We're getting there. No, I want yours. A lot of people like Magic Mountain. A lot of people. And they love Disneyland. They love it. They love it. And it's really popular. Really, really popular. It's ignore.

We're getting into Jiminy Click territory. No, we are. It's really popular. It's really popular. It is. It's Jiminy Click. It really is. There's nothing better than Magic Mountain. They put you upside down. I understand. Now, if I don't concentrate, because the impression was Regis and Brando combined. Oh. That's how I got it. Amazing. Regis, anyway, you ready for this? We're out of control. You see the kind of thing here we're doing? But Regis, we're out of control. We're going many places together.

But then you got to make it a little different. You move toward the Brando and you add a little bit of Brando to the Regis and you got Trump coming now, but now he's yelling and he's grinding and he's grinding. It's not like the body language. He's pulsating, but you know, 78.

I think three donuts or three filet-o-fishes every morning, salty fries, and then he's just out there for 90 minutes or two hours in the heat, leaning against the podium. We're going to get rid of the communists, the fascists, the puppeteers, and the aliens. Wait, Mr.

What is your McDonald's order? We're sending a bunch of guys over there. What do you want, Mr. President? I want one of each. I'll take one of each. I don't even want to say it. I want everything you got. I'm going to get it. We're going to get it. We're going to get everything you got. We know how to get it and we can pay for it and we're going to do it.

But I love when he says how he's going to get rid of, we're going to get rid of the fascists, the communists, the puppeteers, and the grocery store. Look, they got to go. We're going to get rid of them. They got to go. Well, we had somebody, a big, big podcaster say to me and Spade, you guys, look, the only way for you guys to break through, you got to have a feud. You got to start hating each other. Well, Spade can do that. I said, what do you mean got to start hating each other? What do you mean got to?

I mean, you can do, I mean, you know, Spade, you know, he used to feud with Farley all the time. I know. That came out on our Farley episode, kind of. But, you know, I don't know how much of it is real. You're doing a new podcast, Superfly, by the way, great title.

I guess so. I love it. Because I remember when Superfly, the movie, came out, it was like everybody in the playground wanted to be black the next day. Everybody was so down with Superfly. Superfly. That was the era, you would call it, what were the name of those movies with Rosie Greer? Yeah, they're called blaxploitation movies. Blaxploitation movies. Yeah, they are. Oh, yeah. I remember very well. Do you remember Link from Mod Squad? Yeah. Are you kidding? Yeah.

Peggy Lipton? I love that you know who Link from Mod Squad is. Of course. That was my formative years. When I saw Peggy Lipton, I was like, what would Garth say about seeing Peggy Lipton?

She makes me feel funny, like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. Shooing! I love that guy. I know. Don't we miss that guy? I want to be that guy. I want to be Garth. He's the most loyal friend. He's gentle. He's kind. He's sweet. You know. Where else can you go surfing and skiing?

in the same day or check out a world-class art museum and camp out under a brilliant night sky same day or hike through the redwoods and get a luxury spa treatment there's only one answer california no matter where you go across this state you will find a way to play i look i love california um and i have not yet surfed and skied in the same day although i do do both

So that is on my bucket list. It's the most beautiful place in the world. Discover why California is the ultimate playground. Head to visitcalifornia.com to start planning your trip today. Where you're from completely shapes who you are. If you're looking for change or rethinking the place your family will call home, you might want to give Ohio a closer look.

Ohio is known for being the heart of it all, not just because of its location, but because of the focus on things here that matter the most. Family. Community.

opportunity. More and more companies are building their businesses in Ohio or relocating because they see the opportunity to pioneer innovation in a place their people and their families will love to live. The cost of living in Ohio is 11% less than the national average, which means your paycheck goes further for all the things you love to do. Not only will you save money, but you'll save a much more precious resource.

time. The average commute in Ohio is just 24 minutes, meaning you get home quicker to be with people you love. I'm from Ohio. I don't need an advertisement to tell me how great Ohio is. My whole family is from Ohio. My grandpa ran the Spot Restaurant in Sydney, Ohio. Greatest hamburgers and pies in the world. Thank you very much. It's still there. Started in 1911. Lots of great stuff. It's

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Who of the characters you played would you want to meet again or play again? Sam Seaborn of the West Wing. Yeah, West Wing guy. I just call him the West Wing guy. The West Wing guy. That West Wing guy is—it's just such a—it was such a great character. And, I mean, you know, he had everything you'd want as an actor. First of all, he was funny. And—

You know, he was a nerd, you know, which was fun for me to play. And obviously he was a smart character and, you know, impassioned, great friend, really super loyal. My favorite thing to play with Sam was always him getting his illusions shattered.

Let me hear that. That was like a move that I loved playing. You know, he's so, such a believer. And, of course, he would always get his illusions. And then how would he react? It was always, well, it was always... Take one. It was always nonverbal. Sometimes they would have a speech, and the speeches were always amazing. But usually it was like you could just see Sam being crestfallen that...

Some lofty idea he had was in reality. Or being disappointed then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And didn't someone get an Emmy or something for that? Somebody got, I got an, I did get my lone Emmy nomination for the West Wing for an episode in which I did have one of those great speeches of...

Oh. Yes, but I, you know, Martin never won an, think about this. Which Martin, Steve or? Oh, you know, Steve Martin. Oh, Martin Sheen. How about Steve Martin? Let's wait, let's immediately pivot. How about Steve Martin's?

renaissance with Marty Short right now. It's so much fun. And just one quick insert. Yes. I suggested they legally change their show business name to Steve Martin Short. Yes. One name. They should at this point. Martin Short and Steve Martin, what they're doing in their 70s... It's amazing. ...is extraordinary. And...

It shows you funny as money. They're just every bit as funny. You know, just they got the timing. They got Martin Short's energy is unbelievable. Well, you guys remind me of each other. I mean, because you've. It's a big compliment. I mean, we're different, but we're from the same tribe, basically. Well, here's why I've and people I've said this a bunch and here I might as well say it to your face. Say it to my face. Do you dare me? Say it to my face. Say it.

I'll do Robert Conrad in a second. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you. Knock that battery off my show. Talk about an obscure old reference. Robert Conrad in his tight little pants. I used to go see him as the anchor in the tug-of-war battle of the network stars at Pepperdine.

Oh, wow. But staying on point, the reason you're like Marty is I've worked with both of you. You and I have done Wayne's World together. I've been on Saturday Night Live with you. I've facing down you as the church lady.

It feels exactly like facing down Jiminy Glick. And what I mean by that is when I look into both of your eyes, I know I'm about to get fucking annihilated. Like I know that only one person can leave the octagon. Well, once you get into that attitude. There it is.

Well, well, well, we have a little podcast. We talk all the time, but we don't talk about Jesus, do we? We say naughty words and get tingly in our bulbous area. I know. I've told you that story, too, when I did that at the read-through at SNL. No. And I was doing the church, and Steve Martin was the guest host. He's three feet away from me next to Lorne, and I'm reading a church script.

And I'm just digging into it. It's so bizarre, this woman, what's going on with her. Yeah, it's great. Your naughty bulbous area, your buttocks are engorged in the loaf and the thrusting. And I heard Steve Martin under his breast say to Lorne Michaels, what kind of mind thinks of this? Amazing. That's amazing. But yeah, Martin Short doing Jiminy Click recently,

You know, it's a neat, neat trick. It's not a trick, but he puts on the fat suit and the chin. He's 35. I mean, it shows you like if you already look 42 still, but, you know, the neck, the neck doesn't cooperate with me. How much of Jiminy Glick do you think is our old manager, Bernie Brillstein?

Well, Jimmy Glick is also a little bit like Biden because he's got this thing up here, but you didn't. And then he goes down here. But I might say down here. Yes. So the low part might have been the great late Bernie. I saw him do Bill Hader and he was like, Saturday Night Live. What are you doing, fat? And it was just like, and he goes, oh, he says,

Oh, do you play the one who eats all the fruit and moves around crazily? Like, he has a way of kind of shitting on things, but like with plausible deniability. Well, it's like, it's essentially the core of it inside. I think it's deconstructing any kind of

around ego of being an actor or a comedian or anything in show business. We pretend in front of lenses. We talk in front of mics. And so it's the ultimate takedown of that. Yes, that's right. By putting it in a brilliant context. I agree with everything Jiminy Glick says. Jiminy Glick for president. Now, what, let's go, so the new podcast, is it exclusively a deconstruction of SNL, Superfly? Yeah.

No, it's anything it wants to be. It is. It's anything it wants to be. Anything it wants to be, and it's on video, because now we can make YouTube clicks. I'm learning. I'm from the Civil War, basically. Yeah, YouTube clips. Like, there's this new art form, as I'll just couch it for how everybody knows, and it's 60 seconds or under. So you make these little movies, essentially. There's all this...

way of doing it with the, our editor, Patrick, will put in little cuts or if you say a person, they'll show a little flash. And so it's these little one minute bite-sized pieces of entertainment. And when I was doing Biden, some Biden ones, there was also a lot of

disagreement about it because I think, you know, I was I wanted to as a goal to learn how to do what I did with George Bush senior to do it with Biden, with all the does he have dementia? Are you making fun of this? All of that. So that went that went viral. What is a viral is a million down or two million? What's what? What constitutes it? I have no I've never had anybody give me an exact number.

It's kind of like, it's like, what is pornography? You know it when you see it. When I did a Fauci thing, that one probably ended up doing 20 on all different platforms.

Because I felt like I wanted to have some fun with Fauci, and I didn't see it out there. Right. I did a little poem about Fauci. So you literally have become Steve Martin and Marty Short. Yes. You're not doing anything without David Spade now. Well, it was like flying the wall, and then it was like, okay, well, let's do one. It can be 30 minutes or 55 minutes. Let's have a guess, and let's have us just riffing. Where you do usually long form, but like the fact that we're doing this now,

It's not as intrinsically autobiographical anymore. Yes, exactly. And sometimes people come on and I'll go to the autobiography and they're not really that interested. It's all on anyone's Wikipedia page. Yeah, exactly. But with Superfly, you just go have any guests and go anywhere. We have a love it song. We've had him on a couple of times. We'd love to have you on, of course. Yeah, let's do it. Full Rob Lowe not locked in an interview mode. I mean, unbridled Rob Lowe. This is wild. Just letting it fly. Yeah.

Rob Lowe on the verge of getting canceled. You're the guy, and there's others like you, but you're the guy, if you went to an event, and there's the tables, and there's the dais, it's going to be one of those things. And they go, you'll be seated over here. And then you see the card, and it says, Rob Lowe, you're happy. Oh, thank you. Wow, I love that. It's a great description. It just occurred to me, but...

You know, there's others, but yeah. You know, the thing about Rob is, you know, if you're seated next to him, you're always happy to see him. You're not moving the nameplate.

Right. The thing about Rob, it's just that he'll be whimsical. He'll be pithy. He's not afraid of a good story that's not really true or not. He'll go at things. Or you can, like, talk about the history of Rome. All in a seven-minute span. It's amazing. It's amazing. I have a game for you if you want to pivot for a second. I'm ready. I'm ready. I love games. Parlor game. I'm kind of interested. Who's the most...

who's the best director of feature films in the last 20 years that is the least out there? And most people probably wouldn't know his name. Wow, last 20 years? I'm trying to, you know, because I can go back to 60s, but I'm trying to think of your audience. Last 20 years. I'll give you a context first. Yeah, great. If you put, if you put...

In Glorious Bastards and Once Upon a Time in California against Interstellar and Dunkirk. What is the better duo? You have five seconds. I'm going with Quentin on that one, I have to say.

It's very, very close. It's very close. I saw Interstellar in a re-release where I didn't have to worry about the time shifting and all that. The same thing, by the way, with Dunkirk. So I saw them both recently.

And was way more blown away than the first time through. That's the thing about both these guys' movies. They actually get better the more you watch them. And the only reason it wasn't just Christopher Nolan immediately is I didn't love Dunkirk as much as some people did. Interstellar is a masterpiece. Yeah, it blew me away, put me in a puddle of tears. But I will say, I still probably, for my personal favorite movie,

In Glorious Bastards, I nominated for one of the greatest scenes in cinema. Christopher Walt drives up, and that scene with that actor. With the farmer? Yeah. Do you mind if I smoke? Can I have another glass of your delicious milk? Go ahead. When I watched that movie, it had just come out. Just come out. Hadn't even been really reviewed. I turned to the people I was with and said, there's your Academy Award winner this year.

I mean, that was the most, it's the most amazing, audacious, throwdown introduction. And what I love about Christopher Waltz is, you know, he was a journeyman actor. He wasn't some discovery. He'd been knocking around, not America, but knocking around Europe forever. Yes, that's one of Quentin Tarantino's superpowers.

is to pick people out. You know, like Robert Forster. Oh, amazing performance. Jackie Brown. Yeah, Jackie Brown. Okay, if you're talking about movies that are great, that are undervalued, I would say, it's funny, because we were talking about black exploitation movies. Jackie Brown is a masterpiece. That's a film that I need to see again. You know, because you just come back to it in a different way. And by the way, no one hotter than Bridget Fonda in that movie.

No one. Bridget Fonda, yeah. I did a movie with her, got to know her a little bit. No way, what movie? Carve, I thought I knew all your work. This was an obscure one. Road to Wellville. Alan Parker directed. The great Alan Parker. Anthony Hopkins was my buddy on that. Wow. He would, you know, a lot of these actors start, you just have Davis Jr. and Mickey Rooney or whatever, but a lot of these actors are impressionists and pretty damn good impressionists.

And so that's, you know, Anthony Hopkins and I bonded over that. And this sounds like a bit, but no, we would, for the crew, he would kind of approach me as Hannibal Lecter. No way. And I would play Garth. No way! I can smell you, Garth. You know, and I'm like, get away from me, big scary man. And so the crew would just go home happy after that, you know. I had no... Bridget... Wait, wait, Road to Wellbent says Jiminy Glick would say...

This was your trying to win an Oscar phase, I see. This is me just being whimsical and bizarre. I don't even know. But it was fun to hang out with Bridget Fondick because she was so honest. Like the first day I met her, and she's, you know, a movie star. Yeah. At the time, she goes, oh, I want to get out of this as soon as I can, you know.

I don't know. I'm kind of done with this. You know, the 15 hours in the trailer. I get it. You know, and she was like, you know, I... And we're doing the movie. She goes, I forgot how to act. Like, she had done one with Nicolas Cage. She goes, I really was so good on that. I knew how to act, but I forgot to act. And I'm in a scene with her, and she turns away, and she looks up, and I heard her say, help me, Grandpa. And Grandpa would be a...

Henry Fonda, there's only one way to do a scene. You got to plant your feet and just say the words. Never make it very complicated. I'd like to get you a GAF projector. Not a lot of call for Henry Fonda anymore, but I see you're enjoying it. I'm very much enjoying it. For getting out of act, it's interesting. I had...

an amazing lunch with Michael Caine fairly recently. And I was just like milking every moment I could from the great man, actor, and wonderful person. And he said, I said, how do I end up like you? How do I end up sort of last man standing? And I'm going to do a horrible Michael Caine. And I'll do one after you, but I want to hear this. He was like, Rob, I was never the best.

of my generation and there were three others and one of them so good that he got precious and he didn't work and he forgot how to act and another one drank himself to death. Peter O'Toole? So if you're here and you do what you do, you'll be that, you'll be me. That was, by the way, that Michael Caine was better than I thought it was going to be.

Actually, it's really good. I saw where the two impressionists are, Coogan, Steve Coogan. Oh, yeah. Oh, unbelievable. And they're driving around. It's unbelievable. So I literally said, I've got to learn how to do Michael Caine because I was so enamored of their two Michael Canes going back and forth. It's so ridiculous. I rarely do this because I'm intrinsically lazy. That's why SNL was so great for me. You'll do Lyndon Johnson by tomorrow, you know. But, yeah.

So I figured the key was you kind of do the cockney like this, but the whole key to it, which you could use, is just you have to give yourself a head code. And you've got to keep it way up in here the whole time. And the other thing you do is you walk down the stairs. So you might go bloody hell.

And go down the stage. That's the way you do Michael Caine. Michael Caine. So in my act, I do him. You'll like this because you have a dry sense of humor. I do a mini micro impression of Michael Caine in kindergarten. He's five years old. Okay, give me this. I like to eat paste. I don't know why. I don't know why, but I like to eat things in the classroom. I once ate a tanner bowl at recess.

I doubt that will do it, but I love it. Buckle Kate. Yeah, he's brilliant, and he's, you know, if you look at Sean Connery, the King one in 1975. Oh, yeah, it was the King and I, Man and the Lion, Wind and the Lion, the King and the Lion. A King and the Lion guy. Yeah, I got all those mixed up, that little genre, that moment. I think they think we're gotch. Gotch.

That's exactly why you shouldn't be a god, because they believe you bloody are. If they want a god, I'll be a god for them. But it's true. You can forget how to act. If Michael Caine says somebody can forget how to act, like Bridget Fonda says she forgot how to act, it's a thing, which is why you, on another level—

Kenny Loggins has done the show a bunch and lives near me, and I love Kenny Loggins. We interviewed him, too. Fascinating. Fascinating. And hasn't lost one note. Can sing. And he says, I never stopped singing. So it's like, beware taking time off. It's like musicians. You lose your chops, as they say.

That's been the great thing about doing the two podcasts a week for me because I'm Spade, who's so quick and so funny, and you're just playing ping pong with him like that. So it is like hitting the speed bank. But another thing about Bridget, who was so sweet, I hope she hears this. I'd love to see her. Her favorite actor all time by far was Jimmy Stewart. Sure.

So she really always wanted me to do Jimmy Stewart for her. You'd never done Jimmy Stewart? That's like entry-level stuff, you'd think. Yeah.

Well, I just hadn't done it for her. Okay. You know? Yeah. Jimmy Stewart was the first impression I learned just by accident. I just saw Rich Little do it and then thought, boy, it'd be fun to be able to do Jimmy Stewart. I'm driving in a car with my friends. And then literally it just, you know, Rob, all I can tell you is it just came out. You know, I didn't know what to say. There was all those different ways of talking. Yeah.

So I'd say to Bridget Fonda, you know, you're the best actress here. And people can't, you know. So anyway, Jimmy Stewart is crazy. He comes back from, I have ADD, by the way.

Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, people in fighter, you know, giant movie stars going to war in B-17s. Crazy, begging. I told you I want to fly the plane. I don't want to be an actor on the ground. Yeah, can you imagine? I want to be at the controls, see? And you got to let me. You got to let me. So that's how he got it. I mean, like, can you imagine being the person, like, putting today's actors in that thing? It's like...

Jesus Christ. Okay, Tom Cruise, you absolutely fly the plane, happy to have you. Oh, yeah, Tom Cruise. And then you're like, who would you be like, oh, boy, you know, you're like, I don't know if I want this guy flying the plane. Well, Tom Cruise, I think Top Gun— Do you do a Tom Cruise? I don't. I have to learn. I kind of—

Do a little bit one, but it doesn't work unless it's purely visual for the most part. If people want to look it up, it's probably online. I did Rain Man on SNL as a sketch. When Ben Stiller had his, he was a cast member at that time, and he does a really good Tom Cruise. He does a great. He's the only one I know who, but, you know, it was kind of interesting when I was interviewing Quentin Tarantino, I was pinch hitting for Jimmy Kimmel. Yes, yes.

And so he said, you know, because Quentin, he likes to just kind of dig in there. There hasn't been any great movies besides mine in the last 20 years. Right. That's the vibe for sure.

No, he said it. Oh, he did say it. No way. That's amazing. In a fun way. But, you know, it's just, it's Quentin Tarantino, the guy's- He's a provocateur. He's a provocateur. Yeah, and a certified genius. Yes, he is. He's like, he's not bitter. Here's my thing. Let me just, I just got to say this about Quentin's movie. Please do. There's always at least one protracted sequence that loses me.

And then Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, was it the Western one? It was all the flamethrower stuff. Oh, oh, I got you. I got you. Yes, you do wait for that, the training sequence, right? No, where he's with the Manson, where he kills Brad Pitt on acid and kills her. Oh, he brings it out later. Yeah, they're trying to get him to use it earlier in the film. And then later on, he kills the woman in the pool. The entire killing of the people sequence

In the third act. And then, of course, Leo is in his float drinking and doesn't really know it's going. That whole thing was, to me, like, that's, you know, and I can go sequence by sequence in the movies. But still, the rest of it, chef's kiss, the rest of it. I love that phrase. I'll break it down for you a little bit, rhythmically. First of all,

Leo's character is drunk off his ass after the Mexican restaurant. He's got a big blender. Yeah. He's in like a robe. And the bad guys come up in their car. Yeah. The Manson family. And he's walking across, goes, Goddamn, property taxes up the butt.

And I'm going, that's poetry. And then he goes to the guy, I remember, what are you looking at, you little ginger fuck? Now get this mechanical asshole out of here. So that's poetry to me. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great. I'm with you. I'm down to clowns so far. But Brad Pitt...

You know, they give him the acid cigarette. Yep. So they make him into a superpower. The way he hit the guy who messed with his car. Yes. He goes, ladies. And the guy goes airborne. That's great. I love all that stuff on the ranch. I love it. Yeah, the ranch is transcendent. So then they take...

They take Superman and they give him the joints or the acid cigarette. So then he's in there and they show how confused he is. The bad guys come in and he's like, he's just Brad Pitt's best performance. He's like, I remember you and your little white face and you were on a horsey. A horsey. Yeah, you were on a horsey. Are you real? And he goes, I'm as real as a fucking donut.

And then he goes, they pay off that. That's what kind of... But after that, maybe if I had the quibble, crushing the balls with the jaws of the mouth, you know, and I counted it, it was 11 hits, I think, of the woman slamming her face. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, yeah. To me, what it does is it speaks to, from my childhood, the anger...

That I have, and the love of revenge films, the love of the bad people getting their ass kicked. Yeah. Is it cinematically correct? Is it laborious for some people? Is it over the top? For me, I could have done with a few more hits. A few more hits. My favorite part about that movie is how well it captured what making movies was.

And the vibe of, because when I came up, everybody in a movie set felt like they were cowboys, actual cowboys. Now they feel like they're film students or I don't know what, you know, hipsters and things. And it's a whole different, it's great, but it's a very, it was very sort of working class stuff.

you know, San Fernando Valley, Riverside, cowboy, you know, tough. Like, and Kurt Russell's, the scene with Leo and Kurt Russell is my favorite scene in the movie. It's my favorite scene in the movie. I'm so with you. I have it on my phone. I have it on my phone where he goes, I don't dig him.

Oh, my God. You are quoting me, quoting my friends. I don't dig him, man. I don't dig the energy he brings to us. He's a goddamn war hero. He's like, look, man. Come on, you horse's ass. That's such a great—that sequence is so real.

Yes. And that's what stunt guys used to be like. I got to work with the greatest of all time because now so much of it's digital, the notion of the world's greatest stuntman is kind of... People still do amazing stunts, but like Buddy Joe Hooker, who Hooper was based on, and these guys who were like these...

cowboy stud stars that would show up on the set and had such energy. You looked right at them and you knew that they, it was, it was the best. And, and Kurt murders. And that's a great, you know, I always love when an actor, that's a very long movie. A lot of scenes, a lot of actors, Kurt's in what, four scenes, maybe? Yeah. And here we are talking about him as the best thing in the movie. If I run into Kurt Russell at a restaurant somewhere, I would just say to, I'd come up to him and I'd say, Kurt,

What the fuck did you do to her car? Yeah. I threw this little pissant into it. Oh, wait a minute. Nobody throws Bruce Lee into anything. How great is that? Brad and the Bruce Lee scene is amazing. Nothing about the face. Just you and me. I like how much grief. Quentin got so much grief for his depiction of Bruce Lee.

A lot of grief. Yeah, I mean, it's screenwriting. You hear either urban myth or from people that Bruce Lee had an outsized ego. You don't necessarily have to verify it completely without using it in an

It's just theatrical. I didn't— Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana. Don't make it too complicated. Don't misunderstand. Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

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What room are you in? Where are you? This is a townhome in Los Angeles. So it's furnished, so it's just a place for me when I come here. No, no, talk about this, because I need this. So do you rent it? Do you own it? Like, how does it work? I like just renting it. We have a great landlord, and we just rent it. And it's sort of like...

A quadplex, but it's sort of behind. So like I have one common wall, like the Beatles could play full blast in the front room. And it's, I call it the bunker because it's so secure. It has double pane windows. You drive into the garage like Batman. And then it's just, just really clean and simple. I need this. Where are there, are there, can we be, can we be neighbors is what I'm asking. Okay.

There's a possibility one would be coming up here. I will talk to— No, I'm absolutely deadly serious. I will reach out to you about that off air. Yeah, I love—who knew that you would be my realtor on this? Well, I get what you—like, someone as busy as you—

You know, hotels, again, first world problem. We get to stay in hotels. I always say that. Middle-class kid, barely. Get really tiresome. It's just the knocking and they want to come in. To have a place that's simple, wash and wear, go in, perfect.

Quiet. Then you go to the set, do your work. And you come home and go to sleep. That's it. You watch some sports and you go to bed. That's it. Yeah. It's all I want. Just simple. It's all I want. And then because it's this, according to my business manager, you can write off the whole thing or half of it. For me, it's all, you know, especially for you having literally projects in L.A. all the time and meetings in L.A. All the time. And you live...

Everyone knows. In Santa Barbara. That area. That area. Yeah. You're living up there. Living out there. Don't want to say. Further than Ojai. Not as far as Solvang in that whole corridor area. Okay. I don't know how much time we have. There's two things I want to ask you about. We have 30 seconds. Okay. I'm going to ask the first one. I'm kidding. We can do this. I'm going to ask the first one.

Did you see The Holdovers with Paul Giamatti? I don't think I did. See it if you can. It wasn't on a smash. Did you see Descendants with George Clooney, the Hawaiian? Yes, I did. Okay, good. Robert Forster's in that. That's the one I wanted to tell Quentin is I think is a great movie. And then he did Sideways. His name's Alexander Payne. Alexander Payne's great. I think that's a very, very, very good—did Nebraska—

Yeah, I got that down there too about Schmidt. Just a really great director you don't hear about a lot. Agreed. I think that's a very good... That's going to be hard to top. I'm going to top it right now, just as a topic. All right. I looked at your Wikipedia page last night, knowing I would talk to you, and you have done just so much work. Yeah. Just so much. And then this, and then this. I mean, you have... Talk about, you know... So, you've won anyway. You're...

I, this is kind of like sincerity. All of a sudden you're,

Now you're at this other phase. You're Rob Lowe. You know, it goes in phases now. Yes, it does, doesn't it? You're like Dolly Parton's song. Here I come again. You know? So it's like you do those really funny DirecTV commercials with prosthetic makeup all of a sudden. Oh, what's he doing there? Then you got a series. You're directing Bad Seed. Then you're on to the next thing, which scared the shit out of me, that movie, as a kid. That's so good. So you're...

just comprehensively engaged. And so, I don't know. You must feel...

some satisfaction about that because I know a lot of great standups who just didn't get Saturday Night Live, barely missed it or got a sitcom that was canceled and they got discouraged. And so we're so lucky to still get paid to do what we do. 100%. I'll give you the last word. Thank you, Bill O'Reilly. Good one. I couldn't put it better myself. And I,

You know, to be, it's like, I like, I loved Cal Ripken Jr. And, you know, the thing that I think he brought was this Iron Man streak where he was always there. He was always reliable. He was always there. You're always happy to see him.

Yeah, that's a good one.

And I want to do stuff that satisfies my curiosity. And because I'm curious about a lot of things, it can be, I want to, what is it like to host a game show? What is it like to direct a movie? What is it like to write a book? What is it like to do a podcast? What is it like to do a one-man show? People go, where does it come from? I'm just curious and interested. Even I forgot some of the books in the one-man show. So, yeah, I do think that in the end of the day, I mean, Lorne recently said to me, is there anything you'd rather be doing? Mm-hmm.

And so anything in the creative world, now this new form, which is just behind the scenes chatting, it's like we interviewed Jerry Seinfeld and goes, now they just want to hear us talk. Well, this has been a great talk. Yes, I really enjoyed it. I had only one last thing. One movie you could watch tonight. You have to watch one of these. Soylent Green or Planet of the Apes. Oh, Planet of the Apes. I'll watch it every night.

You mean because the 20-minute preamble that's brilliant before we get to see the monkeys on the horses? It's...

Okay, when I moved to California, I wanted to be a young actor. I was 15, but it was, we moved because my mom's divorced, so I was super sad. Even though I wanted to be an actor, we moved to Malibu. I didn't really understand how cool that was. I just wanted to be in Dayton in my tough skins, playing Nerf football with my friends. Go to Malibu. It's hot as hell.

She shows me this house out on Point Dune. We're going to be living in this ranch house we're renting. In the back is a broken down corral.

And we're on Point Dune overlooking that amazing beach. And she says, this corral was made from reclaimed wood from the set of Planet of the Apes. Oh, my God. And I was like, yes. Okay, I'm into California. All right. That's it. We can't top that. That's fantastic. That gives me chills. Isn't that a good one? Oh, my God. Everybody you know has been dead for thousands of years. They did it.

He did it. Why? Why? Greatest ending ever. Rod Serling maybe thought of that. Greatest ending ever, for sure. Other than this ending of this podcast. Go to a set or work on another book or just relax. Whatever. I wish you all the best. Thank you, Mr. Carvey. This is great. We'll do it over at your house next time. There's nothing better than spending time with that man. There just is. There is just nothing. He just makes you feel. He's like spending time with a dolphin or a puppy.

Just makes your heart happy. And I hope you had as much fun as I did. Don't forget to download the rest of all of our episodes. And don't forget to give us a like. That is always really, really good for us. And until next time, I will see you right here back on Literally.

You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Sean Doherty, with help from associate producer Sarah Begar and research by Alyssa Grau. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel. Our executive producers are Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross for Team Coco, and Colin Anderson for Stitcher. Booking by Deirdre Dodd. Music by Devin Bryant. Sports and culture by Devin Bryant.

Special thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally. Sometimes words seem so unnecessary.

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