Hooly dooley can you believe it’s hometowns already !?

Well we can… because it felt like we watched 82 eps of the Bach last week. We kick off ep 13 with Brooke getting the last single date up for grabs - Jimmy’s taken her to the world’s highest sex swing at the top of Centrepoint Tower. Look.. there’s no swing and it’s actually just a pilates class but they give the instructor the flick and make out like it’s going out of fashion. Next, Jimmy thought it’d be fun if they drank their body weight in coffee (we’re not even kidding with this part). Brooke manages to survive the tirade of coffee and decides to ask why he’s been so horny with all the other girls. OUR KINKY CAPTAIN ANSWERS TO NO ONE! The group date was a truly buck-wild concept where Osher found a body language expert who could pick out vulnerable personality traits just by looking at facial features of the remaining woman (there has to be someone in production smoking the wacky backy). At the cocktail party Brooke reveals that she still hasn’t slept a wink following their date, so Jimmy decides the only fair thing to do is send Lily and Ash home.

Ep 14 and it’s hometowns bitches! Carlie is first cab off the rank, and can we just take a minute to appreciate how beautiful her teeth are!? Her family are equally as shiny and perfect, and she cements herself as this season's top wifey. Jay is next and her friend drops a bombshell and admits her last boyf is uber famous and she’s gunning to be a TV presenter. TAHNEE WAS RIGHT !? Holly’s hometown is bloody delicious and it’s everything you’d expect from this lovely gal - except just as she’s about to drop the L bomb as Jimmy’s walking out the door, she chokes (not literally). This leaves the door right open for Brooke (or Brookie as Jimmy now calls her). She’s clearly falling hard for him except all her family admit she hates coffee, Sydney and sex swings at the top of Centrepoint Tower.. which completely throws Jimmy. Then in this season’s biggest twist, Jimmy decides to send Carlie home at the rose ceremony. What in the name of porcelain white veneers is going on !????

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BACH UNCT - The hometown showdown