Stardust Rhapsody | Ep. 10 | Dust in the Wind
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Hey everybody! Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Chuckled in Space and you're listening to Stardust Rhapsody! Here's what happened last time. Time runs out for us all. To the crew of the Rhapsody, please help. Saurians have invaded and they've cut off our contact to the Empire. Kvir, if you can hear this, you're our only hope. I have to say, once you are down there...

You're going to want to wear clothes that cover any openings because the sand, it's coarse. It's itchy and it gets everywhere. I hate sand. You see fading black smoke rising into the air. We need to go. We have to go now. That's my... My town is that way. Something happened here. Visibly becoming a little more angry. Are you here still? Reish? Anyone? They came unexpectedly. The Empire did not...

They didn't anticipate them, they weren't ready. The Empire found that they could use such crystals to power their engines. Their entire armada works off of the fuel source that's built here. So does that mean that this was just a strike force and that more temple ships are coming? And then that would also mean that as soon as the Empire knows they've lost contact and their fuel sources are gonna dry up, they're gonna bring an entire fleet? And so we're gonna be caught in the middle of a war?

between the two major superpowers of the galaxy? Is that what you're implying? And I regret having to call you back, but...

I just didn't know what else to do. You take air for a moment as you crest over the dune, and it's when you see it for the first time. The Saurian warship planted in the ground can take you to the door. I can open it, and we can head inside. All right, let's do this. We're already this far. Get out of here.

Let's make them pay. And as he takes one step forward, up from the sand in front of him, shoots a large wooden pole with a jagged claw tied to the end of it. It shoots directly up and slams into his chest. Grace! It is the end. Watch out, trap. Space, where all stories go to end. And this is no different. But with every ending comes new beginnings.

After receiving a distress call, the Rhapsody took off to Zeradun, the homeworld of Kvir. Shortly thereafter, they meet Ra's, a childhood friend who provides the terrible background to this particular adventure. Saurians arrived and have brought death and destruction to the land, seeking to claim the power so far reserved for the Empire.

Emboldened with furious vengeance, Kvir joins Ra's in leading the party to their doorstep, ready to banish them back in blood to the edge of the universe. However, Ra's story is cut short at the mouth of the temple. Covered in blood, their mission has never been more clear. Heading into the nest of a Saurian war party, will this be the crew's final tale? Or will they tear down everything the Saurians have built brick by bloody brick? Pretty sick.

You find yourselves once again at the mouth of the aqueduct that leads into the Saurian temple. Ra's lays in your arms, just having died. Your face covered in his blood. Dandi, your hands coated in his blood. The words, his final words ring in your ears. I don't. Look out. I'm going to destroy everyone. Not a single...

one of these Saurians is going to survive. And as I'm sort of like seething here, and I don't quite notice it, but the sand kind of comes out of my hourglass and it's sort of just swirling around me at a speed that hasn't really been seen before. And it equates to what I have flavored as razor sand.

So it's surrounding me and it is just whipping and unfortunately, out of my rage, I can't control it and anyone within five feet of me has to make a dex saving throw. - I'd probably be within five feet. - I think I'd be within five feet. - It's also like, "Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." - Yeah. - Caboose sandstorm. - Yeah. - What the? - What the flip?

Deck saving, which is not stealth, right? Correct. So when I roll two, I don't know why I rolled two. I'm just going to go, oh, that's even worse. 22. I think it's you, you know. Is that something you have to cast or activate? Technically, it's a spell. That's fine. You activate it in rage. It's a cantrip. You're good. Yeah, you don't waste it. You let it rip. 14. 22. 22.

16's the save. So we fail, Dandy and I. Just one d6. That's not bad. It's not so bad. You weak bitch. Oh, there you go. It's done one damage. Only one point of damage. You just get ripped up a little bit. So I think with that, I realize that I'm surrounded by my friends and kind of-- One point, yeah. So it's one point of damage. It doesn't work out very well.

And I'm sure everyone takes one point of damage. Covered in the blood of Rache, you can feel the rage coming off of Kavir as the sands begin to whirl about him, almost unbeknownst to him in response to his anger. And they whip around, and you feel it as your friend starts to lose himself. Kavir! Kavir! Kavir! Chubb!

I don't answer to Rhett. I'll goop my hand forward, pushing through the sand and grab onto your shoulder and sort of give you a firm shake. Kvir, I know you're upset, but save it. Save it for the Saurians. We have to go. I have to make sure they pay for this. Stay. Stay here.

And I will turn and I will push my hands out 10, 15, 20, 20, 30 feet and I will start to rake the sand back and forth like this to see if I can trigger more of these deadly traps.

these spikes, these raptor claws to shoot up. And I will start to sort of mind sweep the area as making my way to the entrance. Was this the only one? Did Rage really get that unlucky or are there more?

Roll 17 dex saving throws. I'm kidding. Just roll a dex save throw. Oh. It'd be a lot cooler if you rolled 17. That'd be really cool. How libushi? Can I? Yeah, yeah. Get the old Twisterino. All right, that was a natural one. And that is a... Let's do that. I'll do a 22. A 22. 22.

So you'll just pass for all of them, but you trigger nine additional traps as several of these spikes...

shoot up out of the ground as you sweep the opening, the entrance, with your arms. And each time I see one, you'll see my hand wrap around it and snap it like a toothpick, and then snap the next one like a toothpick, and just clear the way as much as possible. Stay behind me, everyone! I'm starting to sort of come down and realize what's going on, and gradually start to collect the sand back into the power glass. It's okay, Kavir. I know that...

The Rage didn't deserve that. Your people didn't deserve that. But don't lose yourself. What we're about to do

Everything we said to Dandy is the same for you. We're here for you. We trust you. But just remember who you are. Don't lose yourself. That's what I did. And look at me. You don't want to end up like me, do you? A hilarious clown who's there for his friends. I would count myself so lucky. But you're right. And thank you, my friend.

All I can do is soldier on, focus on the task at hand. This may not-- I think Chuckle is kind of on the mission and his kind of like inherent Mottlian cunning is coming out. So I would justify listening to see if we think that triggering these alarms, we know that they don't-- we know that they use more like Magitek and not like Tektek, right?

It's like Danny's always jamming stuff. Yes, yes, yes. So I would be listening for horns or looking for flashing crystals of like, oh, even if it's not some wiring that's doing this, presumably there's some sort of magical field that they now know that we're coming. That's my guess. Nice. Roll a...

You're attempting to see if there's like a magical output running, like running back into the temple. Allow me to rephrase that. Dandy, do you think we triggered any kind of dino magic from what's just happening? Can you use your scanners? Yes, I can. Roll an arcana check at advantage. Sure can. Arcana. You can hear the alarm going off now. That's right there. Can she add a...

Yeah, add your dino proficiency. Let's go! What's my dino proficiency? Dino! Dino proficiency! It's plus 15, so you just automatically pass. What was it? 16. 16. With a 16, you know very firmly that Saurians kind of operate off Magitek crystal magic, almost like, not runic magic, but gem stone magic.

You get the sense when you inspect these traps that this feels very rudimentally displayed. They almost didn't care too much about putting it up as they didn't think that really anyone would attempt to come this way. And if it was a Zorvun, as it was intended to stop, no one would have tried a second time.

And so I know how to disable this rudimentary magic system? It's not magic. It's just like, it sticks in Raptor claws. Okay, so I can look at it and just... You know that it is not something that routes back to them, that has alerted them of your presence. Got it, okay. So I'll communicate that with everybody, including Shuckles, you know, loudly. And suggest...

We should look around and see if we can disable these sticks and stones. I am doing the best that I can to rake the ranks. Yeah, we'll just follow you, Laboosh, and we'll just go to the entrance and then we'll start breaking some skulls.

I try to stay as low as possible, but a few surprise me, and I get stung by them. And you can see a few gloops of laboosh just sort of splash into the sand and get absorbed, reducing and diminishing my form just a little bit. But I restore my hands, and pretty quickly we're making our way to the entrance. Follow me.

- If at any point it feels like I can go and pick up a couple of the raptor claws, I would do that. - I would say it's in this moment that as you're deciding you'll move on, Rhett, something catches your eye, and as you're looking at Kvir, you happen to catch a glinting from Ra's hand, and in it, the schematics for the temple.

And Chuckles, you can use this moment to gather, we'll say, if you want six raptor claws that didn't crack or destroy upon Laboosh's sweep. Or end up in my friend's body. The point is that you're still alive while they're eating you. I will say, even before I noticed that, I would have turned to Kavira and said, yeah.

We don't have to leave him just lying here. Maybe let's put him back on the skiff and we can take him with us on the way out. I appreciate that, yeah. And I'll sort of reach down. I don't know if you want to help me or not, but I'm happy to sort of like, we can kind of lift him up and carry his body to the skiff. And as I'm carrying, I'll notice in his hand, the schematics. It's a hell of a final gesture. And I'll take the schematics out of his hand. You do so.

and you would be able to import them into your internal system and have access to them. The two of you move Raesh onto the skiff very respectfully. You lay him at, not final rest, but at momentary rest as you turn back towards the Saurian warship and you set forth clear-headed.

And I would follow Laboosh into the temple. I've got one eye forward and the other eye is pointing backwards towards my friends, just keeping an eye on everyone. You continue down and up this aqueduct. It kind of inclines very slightly. A tiny stream of water runs down and out the end that you've come in.

Do you continue sweeping in the manner you had been? I would continue to, as long as there's sand that would indicate that something could be hidden, yeah. I would absolutely continue to clear a path out, just a swoop of one arm and then a swoop of one arm. I'm trying to keep my distance, effectively disarming these traps by triggering them, since if I keep my hands low enough, I feel that I shouldn't get snagged. Mm-hmm.

There's no sand in this tunnel that leads up, but as you continue to sweep with your arms as you move up, you'll feel sections of stone that are pressable, and you get the sense of pressure plates ahead of you. There are plates, sensors. Something is in the floor here. I can feel it.

Do I trigger or do I... So do we just go around? Can we go around it? It's like you're starting to feel... Like, it's almost like cobblestone as it runs up. So there's a lot of small sections of stone that you're walking along. As you kind of, like, almost like, you know, like a giant farm...

you know, plow, you're like moving your arm across the ground. You can kind of like-- I like going forward. A thresher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A thresher. As you juice forward in thresher form-- It's a combine. You can feel sections of these stones that feel, they feel pressable, but they're very much avoidable should you choose to do so. I will point them out. Just don't step here.

Here is another, don't step here. I'm going to take the wall. And I'm just going to walk alongside on the wall. I'm not checking the wall, I'm checking the floor. I'm assuming that they're hoping there's not someone going to walk on the wall, and if that fucks me, it fucks me. Yeah, that's very reasonable. Yeah. Uh...

Yeah, no, they didn't anticipate anybody to walk on the wall. I'll pull that curtain back. You move forward up this aqueduct. You ascend very slightly as you start to... You can see an opening is approaching you. Light begins to pour into the tunnel.

and you start to hear a clattering, like a bestial snarling, clashing of teeth, a thumping of blunted objects. I think there is a Saurian up there. Are we past these plates? Because this is not where I'm a viking. Do I think so?

I think as you begin to approach the mouth, you feel like you have cleared the plates. A what? I think we have cleared the plates. The plates. The plates. The plates. I'm just walking, as we were walking, I'm slowly soaking it all in, looking at everything and just trying to see how this place is. How are you feeling, Dandy? You okay? I am okay.

But I do not like these towns. Kavir, don't do anything rash. Kavir, do you want to do something rash? I think for the sake of all of us, I should at least show some modicum of control. I was going to say we could show them the same hospitality they showed our friend. That is fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't we just go in and just bum rush them? We don't know if there's just one or if there's more than one.

Let's just play it cool, and it'll get our eyes on it. I don't want to do a whole Dinucles thing, so let's not. No, we're going to go together. We're going to stick together for the sake of brevity here. Okay. Dinucles.

- That is just hilarious. - Now I'm intrigued. - You continue up this tunnel, and as you approach carefully the mouth of its opening, you'll see Rhett kind of as on your dungeon map as the layout. You're entering into what looks like the main chamber.

You step out or you come to just the mouth of this tunnel that water falls from the plate. Water comes from like a section of flooring just in front of you. Elevated just above that slightly is another floor that you'd be able to pull yourself up onto and there are twin steps that walk up to yet a second rise.

And on that, you can hear and you can see very plainly where the sounds are coming from. You see about 35 Saurian standing there. Gonna die. A large portion... A large portion of the warband. They are almost all...

You see a large collection of them. They have giant ruby gem mallets and they are circled around a couple of their comrades who are battling each other.

and they are slamming into each other and when they do, the gems that are almost like just tied to the ends like clubs, like tied to the ends of a stick, they extend out on a dual-headed like great mallet. Every time one connects, a Saurian goes flying through the air. And there is a red glow as they crash together.

and they're snapping and snarling and clawing and what sounds like cheering, but they speak in a primal language you don't quite understand, a language lost to time. There is one figure that stands just a little bit bigger than the rest, a large raptor that wears a crown that has two feathers in it. - What?

This guy's full of himself. What is the average height of these raptor saurians and weight? How big are they? They're not themselves massively physically imposing. They're probably on average four and a half feet. If you were to look at them and kind of track... If you were to look at them and kind of track their...

Like, try and just get a sense of their physical nature. Four and a half, like, maybe some of the bigger ones, like, around five feet. And 120 pounds. I was expecting them all to be, like, eight feet tall. I'm much more confident now. I was thinking, like, chickens. These...

They are adorned with light cloths. They don't wear too much, but they do have tribal gems adorned about them. Not too unlike those of Dandy. But the gems that they wear are much, much smaller. And no one wears more than one, except the crowned raptor.

that has two, one on a ring, one on each hand. - I don't like this guy. I don't like this guy at all. He's pompous. - Can you understand what they're saying? - Can I understand what they're saying? - That was my way of asking the dungeon master, but doing it in character. - Yeah. - Roll a...

- Brawl history check. - History? - Oh. - Frederick, I find my portfolio is lacking. - 16. - What do you think about your mutual investment fund? - Well, I don't know. - Puff down the economy, pick a direction.

You can hear, you do pick up elements of this language. You can't understand what they're saying as much to speak it, and you cannot understand everything they're saying, but as most of them jeer and loudly applaud and cry for blood, and blood and bone, you hear...

Somewhere in the crowd, in slightly lower tones, you hear the word "Arkon" mentioned. Shit. Multiple times. Okay, um, I do not understand exactly what they're saying, but I'm hearing "Arkon," "Arkon," a bunch. They're talking about "Arkon" and smashing each other? Ooh. "Arkon." That word doesn't mean anything to us, right? Doesn't mean anything to me.

I just want to Google it. It does not mean anything to you, but I will say that the second you hear it, there is a spark within you for the briefest moment that feels immensely powerful. Almost like a rush of adrenaline that kicks in the second you hear the word and fades just as fast. Yeah, I don't communicate that. I just feel it.

What do you think it means? Is that the name of this energy source? Or what they call it? I don't know the meaning of the word. I do not know either. We could use space Google. No, I'm just kidding. I do not know either. Well, I got my space AOL here. Let me ask Jeeves real quick. Hey, Jeeves. Well, I mean, do you want to try to listen in more? I could perhaps decode with my special hat. What do you think?

I want to look at my map and my dungeon map and try to find the power core. We just ignore Jack. In relation to where we are, you pull up your-- The wall mat's there. You pull up your dungeon map and you look at the layout that it provides you and you see a very similar schematic to the temple you were in when you battled with Rex.

There is a circular platform that all of the Saurians are on currently. There's a thin bridge that leads from behind them to an elevator that looks like it would take you upwards to a different floor. But up one landing, just beneath where they are,

across the room from where you are currently and you're kind of like if they're on a if there's a platform elevated from where you are and then on that platform there are stairs that go up to where they are on like a circle pedestal almost

You are behind that section, effectively under the bridge that would walk towards the elevator. And if you were to make your way to the other side of the room, right behind, walking directly behind where they are, and you elevated one level, you'd be able to go downwards

A spiral staircase that would take you to what looks very much like the energy source. And it is marked cleanly on the map that Raish provided. So we feel like we don't have to use the elevator. Correct. You feel like if you were to just cross the room you're in, unseen, and you went through the opening at the other end and went down, you would reach the energy source you seek.

I don't think there's any other way but the elevator. And just to clarify out of character, the energy source is what we believe to be just a collection of the fuel, like a stockpile of fuel crystals. Well, they have their own energy source that they use primarily, which is what powers this temple to fly. So separate from a stock of...

collection of fuel crystals that they've allegedly been amassing. Whoa. And they're storing it in the same place. Yes, they are storing it in the same place. So you expect that if you were to go to this, you would see their power source as well as maybe like a room littered with energy crystals. Yeah, very dangerously collected, poorly planned, definitely an OSHA hazard. Like a bunch of savage dinosaurs. They did not follow the OSHA handbook. No,

They did not store their meats on the lowest shelf. A ragtag group of bounty hunters to come and... While they're discussing their plans and magic hats and things, I would just be standing over Rhett's shoulder looking at this map and watching him kind of figure out where things are.

While they're looking at the map, my eyes will flash that same dark, motley magic as I'll blink. And then suddenly my mouth will turn into pure white with a wave, a black wave going through, as my nose will turn into a radio dial. And my little howdy, beep, beep, beep, beep. Shucked out it, buckaroo. Okay, there it is.

And I will pass comprehend languages. - I was going to. - Brilliant. - The little ball on top of my hat will flash. - Brilliant! - So good. Like Rosie from the Jensen's. - As my mouth will kind of trigger the radio waves and I'm gonna attempt to listen as I tune in onto what I hope is Saurian to comprehend what they're saying and hopefully overhear their master plan, if that's allowed by the master.

Man, you never think they have comprehend languages. If he didn't cast it, I was gonna. Everybody's got comprehend languages. I, too, would like to cast comprehend languages. I have it, too. All I've got is motherfucking R. Come on.

It says right here, burning ha- I mean, comprehend languages. Okay, what does that let you do? Comprehend all languages? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay, you tune in. Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur. God damn it. There's only one joke I want to make. There's only one joke I want to make. You do that. You go...

The Archon. You tune into the language that they're speaking. And you can hear the same jeering, clattering, cheering of the masses as most of the Saurians battle above you. But you hear the...

larger raptor speak to another on his right. And you hear him say, "If the fool executes properly, the Archon will show shortly. You can kill all others, but we claim her for the expansion." - Say it one more time. - Blacked out. - If the fool, yeah. - If the fool executes properly,

The Archon will show shortly. Kill all others, but we take her for the expansion. Mikey knows what that means. Does Chuckles understand the implication? I think that depending on how much you think you would put together,

You would hear the ringing of Ra's final words and say, "I don't. Look out. Trap." That was what I'm waiting to pick up. And you would, understanding the speech of these raptors, maybe start to draw towards, "He brought you here," if you think Chuckles would draw that conclusion. But I will leave that to you. Guys! I don't want to involve anyone!

But we just walked into a trap and they're trying to bait out Dandy and take her away. What? What do you mean? Archon is Dandy. What? Dandy is the Archon. I don't know what that means. This is a trap. I don't... I think that your friend may have betrayed us. And probably he was trying to say sorry they got here first in a land of... They're in a land of Calvisian. Holy...

It's just, it's all, this whole episode, this whole episode. How can you be so sure? What did you hear that makes you think this? They said that they're going to kill the Hulk and take Dandy. A few people have said that. What makes it seem like this was a trap where he led us here? Because they know that, they know that we're coming. They said that if the fool did what he was going to do, I don't know if he knew me. I don't know if they know that there was a very skilled and successful, well-accomplished fool in the Hulk.

Damn it. They would have no other way to know that we were here or involved or that Dandy was even a part of any of this. Would you not want to be taken? It's the only thing that makes sense. It's how we got down here so easily. It's how no one was there. It's how he was still alive. It's... Damn it. I'm sorry about your friend. And he tried to warn us. Oh, that's funny, man. It wasn't the trap. Trap. It was the trap. Trap.

And I don't even have to say this, but nobody's taken Dandy. No chance. What do we do? We're already in the temple now. Do we leave? Do we try to sabotage it? We're not turning back. Do we think that the map he gave us is genuine? I do. Do you remember when I asked you if we could use the Aether thing for something? Yeah. Could it help us here?

I mean, if they're waiting for us, they're going to know something's up if we don't show in the next hour or two. And so for us to get all the way back there and grab it... There's just no time. What do we think about that map? We know where we have to go, right? I think so. I mean, if there's the power source that's down there to be destroyed, theoretically, we could still accomplish our plan.

Your tech is far more sophisticated than anything Rache had on hand. When you in-took the map into your arm, you would know immediately that it's a reflection of the structure you're in. For whatever else was going on, whatever circumstance brought you here,

It seems as though the plan up to this point is truly to get you to the engine room to destroy this temple. I think we stick to the plan. We can sneak around behind them. We just hug the edge of this open room here and just not get sighted. And then we can work our way down, no elevators, and we'll get to the power source. How long do you think we have if we

set the trap or set off some reaction. Because we're going to need to figure out a way out. I don't know the first thing about Saurian tech, so frankly, I don't even know how to answer that question. But the best we can hope for is we take a look and we try to destroy it or trigger some kind of explosion and hopefully we have enough time to get out. We should look for some kind of transport. Maybe Dandy can pilot it.

We'll keep an eye out, but I'm not optimistic. Okay, you stick to the plan. Just know that they're probably waiting for us and they're gonna kill us all who take damage. That's worth getting there. Then let's get this done before they know that we're here. You're right. Let's be stealthy.

*Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Barking* *Bark

Derek, I love you, buddy. We're going to try to steal and follow the map and follow, I guess Rhett would lead us with the map. And we would try to steal and stealth following this outer pathway around and down

and hopefully not be spotted by these raptor people. - Roll a group stealth check. - Oh. - This is my friend. - You're advantaged. - But I'm disadvantaged. - I'm disadvantaged. - Come on. Pretty good. - Oh my God. - I'm twisting this if I roll poorly because I have a huge plus.

Give me a twist! I got you, fam. I got you. 16! I'm better. 22. Taking my 15. 15? 18. Tonight has not been a good night for rolling. I'm gonna pull out one twist, if that's allowed. Yeah, absolutely, it's allowed.

We say yes. Yeah. It's like 15. I think my issue is I've only rolled like four times tonight. I gotta get more rolls in. I gotta get more. I need to punch people with the power of the sun, okay? Got it.

We can go kill the dinosaurs. There are 35 of them up there. Look, I was on board with that plan, okay? I agree. We could. Frederick, where do you summer?

I get out of Dino City to avoid the plague. Of course, I go to the waterfall homes. The Dino Hamptons are nice. Okay, you stealth. You move very sneakily. As you hug the back of this wall, you stick just to the edge of the shadows. The clatter of the warriors above you crashing together

helps to cover the squeaking of Chuckles' shoes and the mechanical warring of Rhett as you move towards the other side of the wall or the other side of this opening. To go up, to raise up one landing, it's maybe a four foot incline. Most of you can just palm up to it and step up and I would say that together you're able to move easily.

On the other side of the room, you see what the map displays. You see not even a door, but just an open section of a wall that leads downward to a staircase. All right, this is it. Before we go too fast, we need to keep an eye out for any other security measures, all right? There could be traps and there could be, I mean, folks waiting for us. Although I think they're the ones waiting for us.

Idiot, they've been rid of walking in the main room. They really don't know what they're expecting. Or they heard exactly what we do, normally. Pike, why don't you lead the way? Danny, you stay right in the middle.

Gladly. And if it counts for anything, my passive perception is through the fucking roof. And I would basically try to go first, try to go first and, you know, walking very lightly and deftly and moving stealthily the best I can while keeping my eyes out for any other additional pressure plates or something that might alert others of our presence. Okay.

You descend down the staircase, you twist and you spiral and you drop and drop and drop until, Pike, you feel it first, but you feel the strong, present thrum of ancient magics as you get lower and lower.

As you step into this section, Dandy, it is the sensation of a fish return to the ocean. As you descend this staircase as well, you feel not necessarily a sense of safety, but a sense of comfort, a sense of familiar power. And as you take the final step down,

You enter into a room that has four large crystals about the size of the bush planted in each holding section of the room. In the center, a small raised pedestal, very similar to the other temple. Scattered around the room

you see a collection of chaotically formed white crystals that looked almost like frozen lightning in the midst of striking. Those are the gems the Empire uses to power their fleet. So is the plan to just like blow them up so it blows up the pyramid? You can't do it right away because we're still here. But I think that's the long and the short of it, yeah.

Let me at least take a look and see if there's some kind of, I don't know, control panel? I don't know how they control these fucking things. And I want to walk up to one of the big, the dino crystals, not the dune crystals.

Spice crystals. Dino crystals. That's not what it is. We're not even remotely the same thing. God! And just sort of investigate to see if there's a big red self-destruct button or a power off or any kind of controller. Are they using magic or something?

some sort of ancient dino tech. There's a lever that looks like a tipper, I just tip it like this. Yeah, oddly there's a teacup sitting in the room. You roll an investigation check. Gladly. Big money. Do any of us notice anything different about Dandy?

Roll a perception check. Red. You do the same thing? You, huh? Can I do that too? Sure. 23. 23. With a 23, you start to investigate the gems. This is very firmly not Ethertech. It is not high-level, sophisticated engineering. It is primal engineering.

magic. It's not your foray. However, you understand the basics of power manipulation and this operates under a similar philosophy. These seem to be

rooted into something that is drawing power from them and feeding towards the central terminal in the room though it has no way it has no UI it has nothing to plug into it has nothing to click on or press but as you look at it it does very much feel like it begs for a gem the center begs for a gem

I'll sit there with my hand on my face. Leaning close. Yep. All right, yep. Well. Okay, I think I got it.

Uh, the big crystal here, or gem, let's call these gems and then those things crystals. What the difference? You know, crystal in the sense where, like, all sand is basically crystal, right? And glass and all that stuff. So those are the crystals. These here are the gems. Gemstones. Gemstones. Like, gem and gem. There's a difference. Yeah. Exactly right. These gems here, you see...

I missed that one. They're magical gems. And there's four of them. Are you following me so far? Yeah. Yeah. They're full of energy. Right, I can sense that. They're using some kind of magical ley lines through the ship or the floor or something. And they're all connected into the middle here where it feels like a gem should be. And that's all I got.

What if we put a gem in the center space here, then? You got a laboose-sized gem lying around anywhere? It is not laboose-sized. Oh! It is maybe fist-sized. I'm just gonna start looking at myself. Feeling myself. Um... Dandy. Do I immediately think of Dandy when I see the... Because I think she has one right here, right? That's kind of fist-sized. I would say yes, and...

Something else claws at the back of your memory. That's a pretty good int roll. That's a pretty good memory check. That's like a 20 for memory check. Sorry, I'll let you guys. Did you, you two, you two rolled not well? Yeah, I rolled a... I rolled a six. Seven. You don't know what I'm saying. Get out of here. Neither of us see the gate from... You're not paying attention. Do you feel like you were drawn here?

Like you were every Archon, you arrive and you say, "I need to do Archon things, maybe." I'm gonna... I do not feel as if I was drawn here, but I do feel pretty good here. And I'm gonna start walking towards what you're looking at. The pedestal? Just out of curiosity. Yeah. Kind of wide-eyed. As you step deeper into the space, the gems respond.

And as you approach the central pedestal, you begin to... Your form reacts to being in this space and you begin to glow lightly as the gems glow in resonance. Wait. Even with a seven. You can see that. Sorry.

That was a joke. It's very obvious, thank you. I summoned Marlon Brando and then we're all fucked. Wait, if the Saurians wanted her here, what if this is what they wanted her here for? I mean, you're right. I don't know. Do you feel like you can interface with it in some way? Because I just had another idea. Like the elevator? Yes, I do. I will. I wouldn't get any closer to that thing, but...

Pockets are any chance you have that blue gem that we got off Rex still on you? Well, I don't have it, but certain somebody does. I'll snap my fingers and out the wrist pocket comes the gem. And then I'll hand it to him. Yeah, you can hit me and then I'll... I don't know if I need to be the one to touch it, but... I mean, what do you think?

I'll hold it up and I'll do this and I'll like eye it up on the thing and I'll move it aside and try to see if I think it would fit. As you size it up against the opening in this pedestal, you get the sense that it would fit perfectly. Well, Dandy, you were me.

I mean, I know that I feel like a fish who's in the sea, you know, for the first time in a while. But, like, am I feeling compelled, like, to do it myself? I would say that you don't necessarily feel compelled, but you feel in control. And you have, in a neat sense, that this will work for you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. That's why I'm asking.

Choice is yours. Do I know what will happen if I do it? Do I have like a sense of what'll happen? No, no, no understanding of consequence. I can do it as soon as she says that I

I'll toss it to her in like a very deft manner just like you know shatters on the ground it's one of the energy crystals and everything starts exploding and changing each other thanks for joining us everybody start as rhapsody's over well well hold on before you do anything as soon as she catches it though I'll have a smile on my face and I'll say uh good choice before we do anything

We don't know what's going to happen when we put that gem in there, all right? We don't know if the colors matter, if it being blue versus red matters, or if they wanted us to bring the gem here and they clearly wanted you here. Oh, God. Let me just think about this for a second. But you will protect me, right? We'll do our best. So it will be okay. Yes, Andy, we'll protect you. Look. And I'm going to make a pink pterodactyl.

Just like your spaceship thing. And it'll circle around you. Listen, Rhett. I know that thinking is your thing, but let's just let it ride. Whatever happens, happens. We're all here together. Well, maybe if you take the...

square root of Q. - Ah, come on, knock it off. - As he's doing this, I'm gonna take the one out of the center of my chest and put it in, or wherever it is on me. - Instead of that one they gave you? - Instead of the one you gave me.

Is it removable? That's not removable. That would be like ripping your heart out of your chest. Hot swap, hot swap. Gotta leave him out. I don't feel like I'm telling him to do what I just said. Instead, I take the one that he's giving me and I put it in. Hold on to your breath. Herein too is second. Hold on to your blood. You put the gem in the center console.

The gems erupt around you and you respond in kind. Your eyes turn white. Everything glows as the ley lines pulse brightly with power. You can all feel the thrum of ancient magics erupting and swirling around you. You know in this moment that you have become the ship and you have control.

And should you choose so, at your beckon, you can destroy it. Oh my god. Dandy's still in there? Can you hear us? Whoa! You dandy! Do I feel compelled to do that? You're in full control. Oh lord. I don't know what it is that you did, but you did it, whatever it is! And we're not dead yet.

I can't hear any. I'm not even, it's just. Can she actually hear us? I would say that you can, you understand that they're talking to you, but it's like shouting into a hurricane. The force of ancient energies that swirls around you in this moment is almost intoxicating.

You have expanded your perception beyond mortal means and you don't just grasp that around you. Though you still understand it. You grasp everything within the core of this ship and its immediate vicinity. So I'm just thinking all of these things and I'm thinking to myself,

about how I finally kind of feel this, I for the first time feel this sense of like belonging, like true almost like origin belonging. And I do feel like maybe this is worth, like I need to explore it more before like destroying it. But then I remember my family.

that I've never had that feeling before and that sense of belonging is way more true and rooted in a real emotion of love and joy and happiness and so I decide to destroy the ship because they're threatening us. - You do this

And as you make this choice, you send out the command that only you know will accomplish your task. You overload the energy gems in this room. And you understand that very shortly,

they will chaotically boil over and shoot out unfiltered energy into the room and almost assure they create a chain reaction amongst the crystals that are here, destroying this entire ship.

I think everything's going to be okay. So I mean, real quick, what are we witnessing happen while we're watching this? The rest of us. So she doesn't even need to be reacting to what we're saying. The rest of you would see the gems that were in the edges of the room, LaBouche-sized, have erupted into bright light, as well as her. The ley lines in the floor

crackle, they don't just illuminate, they crackle with visceral energy that you can almost taste as it licks up from the ground beneath your feet. It just thrums and pulses and gushes around Dandy as her hand extends over the gem and her hair almost flaps and flows into energetic winds. Dandy! I give Pike like a grim, knowing look.

for a second. And you can see that I'm kind of like breathing heavily and I almost have this like, again, this wry smile comes across my face, almost wild looking, like I'm excited and I don't know what's going to happen and I'm kind of enjoying the chaos. Is white good? It's not red. Is white good? I hope it's good. I like look up the stairs. I mean, is...

Is it pretty obvious that it would be? The light and the pulsing energy feels a little like it's contained in this space, however you do start to feel the ship itself tremble. And so it's shaking, the gems are starting to crack and crackle as Dandy drops her hand and steps away from it.

And the energy. The second that I see her, like, come disconnected from this thing, I would turn to Rhett and finally answer him, you know, after having just kind of stood there and taken what happened. I'd say, I think she made a choice and it looks like this thing might be coming down. We got to get out of here.

And as I take my hand off, I'm going to say, like, let's run out of here. Let's run. And then, like, start running. Like, I'll lead the way. You heard her. Come on. Let's go. Here we go. All right. Good choice, Dandy. The important thing is that you made the choice. And we keep going.

You will race up the spiral staircase as you take turn after turn. The energy, you can feel it as you move away from it, you can feel it as it starts to overload behind you. As you move away from the gleaming light, you crest back out of the doorway. You are not being stealthy this time. And as the whole temple starts to struggle and shake from what you've done,

As you skip out, you see the same Saurian war party just above you, but they've stopped battling each other. They look around, confused at what's happening to the ship. They can feel the shaking, the trembling as the surface

is unsteady beneath their feet. Two, three of them fall over as you very blatantly just start sprinting out of this space. You start hopping through the aqueduct behind them. You chase over the other side, and it's at this moment that they would take note of you, and you would hear snarling, clanging. You hear, even anyone at this point can hear calls of the Archon bring out.

As they start to make their way down the staircase and out at you, they begin to give chase. You sprint down the aqueduct as you make your way back. Having cleared, I'm sorry, having not cleared the floor, I'll need everyone to roll a deck saving throw. Everyone remembers those spots I pointed out an hour ago. Oh no!

Dexterity? Yeah, dexterity saving throw. That one I like. I'm going to take it. Come on. Come on. One, two. I'm twisting as well. There we go. I got another 15, and I feel like I should just try again. I'm going to take this deep end.

I'm keeping my 15. I'm keeping my 15. 15's pretty good. I'm such a plus, though, and I just can't rely on it for anything. 22. For now. You're saving the goods for later. I know, I know. I just gotta crit some people when I punch them in the face. What, you get for not using Jet Sex, guys?

You're right. 23. 23. With a 15 and higher, you pass the save. You navigate through this tunnel, but you are not being careful this time. You understand the stakes. The temple is getting ready to explode. Uh.

And the crackling energy that will cause from this will level this entire space. You're running through. As you step on the stones as you go, traps start going off. Darts start flying and hit other walls. Other sideways blades come out attached to wooden planks as you dodge and you miss. But here and there...

a cut, a slice, attacks at you. And you take anyone who did not pass. 27 points of damage. As the traps go up, if you pass, you will take half.

I don't have evasion yet. What type of damage? I feel like I have a slashing piercing. 18? 13? 27 is the total. So whatever... Holy fuck. Oh, fuck! Rick, no! I would try to help him if he looks like he took a big hit.

I would put his arm over my shoulder and like try to keep urging him to run. Yeah, I would say absolutely you do that. You pick and you start to run together as the traps are going off and you're not even attempting to dodge them, right? You're just taking them as you're trying to get out of this space. You're tanking it all. Yeah. Do- does it feel like the Saurians are gaining on us? Roll a perception check at disadvantage. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Wow, that's my pad! Uh, 15. 15, it does feel like... 16, it does feel like they're starting to gain on you. Even as you run, as you're popping off these traps, they understand where you're headed, and they're trying to follow close behind. Chance of the Archon, uh,

fill your ears as it reverberates down the tunnel. Are they taking any hits? I'm going to be running along the wall and I'll say, oh, they're gaining on us. I'm going to take off my hat, reach in, and pull out a pinata of a llama corn

and I'm going to put it back on and throw it back as far as I can, 60 feet behind me. And as it's going to then kind of dance around magically with a rainbow tailing from its tail and then burst in a 20-foot cube, and I have to roll basically what the effect is. I don't know if it's more than a 20-foot cube.

This space is not larger. This entire opening of this tunnel is not larger than a 20-foot cube. So it filled the entire hole with a Zykatna Ther's Mischief.

It's a piano. It bursts into a bunch of pies that lay on the ground with, uh, with all, with these, uh, the, the, the steam rising from the pie takes the form of like a shapely dino woman. As it's going to, uh, uh, with its slender fingers, uh,

It's going to kind of beckon towards them. And everyone who goes through that cube must make a wisdom saving throw. 35 wisdom saves. DC 16.

or become charmed by me. And so the pie is going to say, calm down. Take a rest. Take a rest. Sleep. Sleep. Enjoy the pie. Sleep. You've been Archon this whole time. Why not take some Archon? Uh...

You see as you chuck this llama corn behind you and it begins to circle and explode and becomes this voluptuous dino woman. With comprehend languages still in place, you hear, Jeffrey, I know where I'll be vacationing this summer.

And as you see a great many of them stop and are caught up watching the gyrations of this image as it goes. But there are a couple, there are just a couple left that were unfazed by the attempts and carry on after you.

Oh man, sorry, that was just gonna be gruesome. But no one can resist the smell of pie! Do I remember what kind of like door-- was there any kind of doorway or gate that we can close? Yeah. Just totally-- but did we even see like a groove for any kind of door or gate? Or is it just like, is this like the--

The drain. Yeah, the exhaust drain. It did not look closable, like there was a door or anything like that. It did very much look like it was just a drain of sorts.

I'll be hobbling as fast as I can just getting hit with blades and darts and getting stabbed and everything else. And you all continue to run out of this space and you make it out, you burst out onto the sands right to where you were, the sand steamer right ahead of you as you see probably four or five Saurians that didn't get caught up by Chuckles' mischief.

a little bit further up the tunnel from where you are now. Still racing after you. - Does it look like we have time to get onto the speeder and escape? Or does it look like-- - You absolutely have time to get on the speeder and escape if that's, like just to get on the speeder and escape.

We've got two options, I can get us out of here as fast as we can or we can try and stay and fight but with that thing exploding I don't know that we want to stick around. We run! Let's get the fuck out of here! And I just hobble up onto the speeder, onto the skin. You hobble up and you slump onto your back bleeding from cuts in your arms. You look just to your left and you see the Corpse of Rage.

as everyone else jumps onto the sand speeder. Kavir, you start your familiar path. You race through what you know you need to do to unfurl and make this movable. The

The shorians hot on your tail have now just exited the mouth of the opening. As you whip the sand speeder to life and you start to careen back towards Gitter Bay, you blow the distance between you and them apart.

You are soaring off of the, off into the distance as you start to careen through dunes. And it's in the moment you start to crest the larger one that cuts off your vision between the bay and this temple. Then in the back, you see almost as the sky goes dark, as the temple itself begins to crackle and pop up

as strikes of lightning erupt from inside. Debris and brick and stone fly in all directions as an electric lightning explosion tears the entire ship to pieces and destroys out for what looks like probably half a mile as you come over the dune and you solidify your way back to Garibay.

Oh my god. The moment that like this explosion has happened and there's light and everything kind of like calms down and we crest over this dune and you know, a relative calmness and silence kind of comes back to us, I would take a deep breath and knowing how close you were to, you know, probably dying, I'll take out a cigarette, light a new one and just look at everybody and say,

Man, that was close. Not even close, baby. You can kind of get the sense that there's a level of like enjoyment Pike gets out of almost risking his life. The close calls. I'm just staring back as we're like in town. I'm just kind of like staring back at it. Dandy, are you all right? Yes, I am. Good. Good. Kavir, are you all right? I'll look down at...

Ra's body that's I presume with us. Yeah. I don't think it's been you know disturbed and I'll look kind of at the other ruin I presume I don't know if the whole like fucking deserts been glassed behind us or what that looks like you actually see what's happened is the eruption of these crystals has created a like super storm and

And over the destruction of where the temple was are these massive expanse of dark clouds. As almost like returned to nature, the energy that was captured in the ground has gone back to the sky and erupting in a natural rage. It strikes back at the land. And there is like, just over the horizon, there are wild lightning storms.

Now that we destroyed that ship and the Saurians on it, I'm a little better, but I still feel for my friend. He had no choice, and he tried to help us in the end. How do you think he knew that I was with you? Who the hell knows? Unless Kvir. Well, he knew I was with a crew more than just me and Labouche, but I didn't, at least as far as I can remember, go into much detail.

Considering he had a way to reach out to us, there's a very good chance that he had a lot more intel than he was letting on. I mean, the boss could have been the boss, could have been folks have seen you. Maybe someone put it together. I don't understand why he would betray us if they had already taken everything from him, his family. Is that true? Did they really kill half the town? It seemed like it. It was...

Much more empty than I remember. It's possible he was saving the rest of them. It's also possible he was doing it because he believed that we really could get rid of them. And that was his in. I'd like to hope, but I can't guarantee. I just know that he told us enough and he gave us a map that was seemingly accurate. So you're saying he was a double agent? I can't even pretend to...

begin and assume anything at this point. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so. As complicated as that is. Well, I'm not going to search his things out of respect, but if you as his best friend were to come across some kind of communication or agreement or anything written or otherwise...

might provide some insight. Are we back in Gerbay or we've kind of stopped just over that dune? I would say you've probably, you've crested over the dune and you've made your way back and you are docking the sand speeder in that drop-off, almost like a carport kind of space. And you can...

choose to walk in, and I would say even at this point, you would catch the, almost like on the winds, it was very quiet when you came initially, you would catch the chattering of people on the other side of the doorway. - That's sort of Rhett's suggestion. I'm going to lay him to rest. If I can find where his family's buried, then I'm going to bury him there.

Before that I will check and see if he has anything on him, but for now I just need to pay respect to him. I will help, and I'll gently pick up the body of Ra's and just sort of like turn to you almost like a in-service. Lead the way. Thank you, my friend. This is my body language. And so we'll walk back into Garibay, and then is there, are there people, do the people scatter again? Are they...

You walk back into Gary Bay, you're back on that familiar matted sand roadways, and you see the people now out in full mass throughout the town. And it definitely seems like far less people than you would expect to be here. And they are all looking out over the

over the horizon at the storm that's been created and the explosion being absolutely voluminous. They have a sense of what's gone down and as you look out in the crowd, there's an old woman. You kind of see it on the edge and you recognize her to be Soraya's mom. I'm gonna sort of address everyone.

the whole town or whoever's there. From what we can tell, the Saurians are gone. At least the ones that were here. Raesh helped us. He gave us what we needed. He was a hero and he died that way. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, but for now I think we're safe, or at least safer than we were. Where are the rest of his family buried so that I can lay him to rest? As you address the collected people, most will turn to look at you as you start speaking.

And the woman on the edge, Saria's mom, once she realizes who you are, and she does, and she sees the body of Ra's in your arms, she approaches you. Kvir, I'm glad to see you're okay. I can't, with the guilt of Saria, I can't look her in the eyes, so I'm kind of just looking down. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. It is us who has to be sorry.

Rache knew that he led you into a trap but the Saurians came days ago they killed everyone half of everyone and they said if we did not produce the Archon that they would come back and kill the rest of us we didn't know what that meant or who they looked for someone knew they spoke of a of a captain who had seen you all together they knew who you were and they knew that if they applied the right pressure

They could bring you all here. Do you know who this person was? Oh, f*ckin'... Did you hear their name? Bracken. IRON SIDE! That's all we heard. But Rache, he didn't want to. He didn't want to do that to you. But he believed that if he brought you here, you would succeed in the plan. He thought that you would be able to destroy them, all of you. He never doubted. He never wanted to lead you into a trap, but he knew that there was a chance that they would capture

whoever this Archon is but he couldn't watch the rest of the town be destroyed he did what made the most sense he was always an idiot but damn it he was right you both were give me his body I need to I need to be the one to put him to rest where is his family where's Soraya maybe we can or at least I will show you the way and she starts to guide you deeper into the town

to a section where you see what look to be innumerable freshly dug graves. And she directs you to a section, very quaint, and you see Saria written on a very modest headstone. Next, you see Ra's family. I'm gonna use sort of my sands to split the sand in between the two plots.

big enough for Ra's body and turn to Labouche and "Labouche, my friend, please put Ra's body down." I don't have to lean to extend my arms and very gently get the body into its resting place and thinly pull out from underneath, disturbing the body.

Not at all. As little as possible, yeah. Before I sort of lower the sands down, I am gonna check him just to see if he had anything else that he wanted to convey to us or had for us. Not so much rifling through it, but almost fixing his tattered clothes and sort of checking it at the same time. Do I find anything on this person? Probe Investigation check. So close.

Twisted? Twisted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 200%. 40,000 twists. Yeah. I got dice over here if you want. It was sitting on a 19, and then it was like, ah, three. 15. With a 15, as you spread the sands and Labouche lays him in, and you write his clothes, and you get ready to put him to rest, you find one thing, and it's a... what looks like a hand drawing of you, him, and Soraya. It probably...

The closest thing to like a picture that we would have. So I'm gonna well up and tears won't fall yet, but I am obviously very emotional. And I'm gonna slowly let the sands fall behind him so that he lowers and then let them close and cover over top. And it's much neater than the other pots around. Almost pristine, I'd say.

And then fold up the picture, put it in my vest and turn away. As you close the sands around him, this, and you put him to his final rest, this plot over him takes almost a pristine shape and has the faintest shimmering of bronze scattered throughout the sands that cover him now. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for Soraya, but now at least they're together. Oh!

And then, uh... We never blamed you for that. I could only blame myself. Thank you for everything that you have done for us this day. Rache believed that you would be successful. And I'm sure that he died knowing that you have freed us. I'm sure that's why we were successful. But thank you for your kind words. You need to go now. With their ship destroyed, the Empire will know that they were cut off for a brief moment. And it's also possible that the destruction will cause...

will call to a larger Saurian force. You don't want to be here when it all shows up. You can't be here either. It may be time for us to leave entirely, leave this planet behind. There is nowhere for us but here. They're always stubborn. I was born here. My parents were born here. Their parents before them. We are people of the Dunes and we will stay that way. Whenever we figured out this Archon business and

Everything else going on. I will come back. We will have this planet again. We will be free. It would be nice to see you. Likewise. Then we'll turn back. I think it's time to go. Yeah. Yeah. I'll put my hat back on. Let's go. I'll sort of look to Labouche and kind of reach up and have kind of my hand up and on his shoulder as we walk away. Yeah, I'll have my hand on your shoulder as well. And I'll be...

muttering to myself in the language that I don't often speak. Oh. Um, sort of, uh,

Murmuring, bubbling, hissing, uh... It sounds a little bit like the Keurig. But I'm saying... That's very funny. ...my word of goodbye during this moment. I cast Copperhand Languages so I can... Oh no, that's gone! Burning Head erupts into Graveyard. Just kidding. Ah, shit, that was my other one. Conveyor.

i'm sorry about your friend thank you do you know any local i don't know kids that would have scavenged the uh barracks by now or know anything about it it's it's tough i mean i'm sure there are a few scavengers around if anything it's something to sell um i can ask around would i often know of a specific group

I've been away for a while, so that's a bit understandable. Yeah, I mean, I think you would know that it would be pretty... Normally, the barracks would be up and functional, so they would not have scavenged the barracks, but it being ripe for the taking, I think you would have a clue that any rambunctious scoundrel would have... Scrappers. Yeah, got in there and taken what they could. But they could have...

Spread out anywhere. They're hard to track, which is why they typically don't get caught. All right, well, on the way out, I'd like to see if there's some sort of battery or armory or something where they stored the weapons, because if we can, we should try to make that look like an accident. It's on the way. All right, let's get out of here.

So we'll jump back on the sand speeder. You jump back on the sand speeder and you make your way across the dunes away from Geru Bay and you make your way back easily, solemnly, but easily to the barracks until you arrive at your destination. I'll walk in the...

in the barracks and presumably all the devastation is still there. I want to sort of look around and just kind of investigate the place to see if I find any storerooms where they would hold, basically keep explosives. Or any other kind of weaponry. I would say that it's all pretty cut open and you would see their blaster burns throughout the walls. There are on the Imperial...

guards themselves. There's a collection of like imperial plasma rifles and like glowing plasma grenades just scattered across the floor. Are they the gems or the crystals, like the fuel around? No, not here. Do you see anything that might be useful? Just a few grenades. I was hoping we could

blow the place sky high and you know maybe they blame it on a you know spare spark in the battery or something like that but I will say the carnage here isn't like my people so I don't know that they would connect the two what I'm worried about is them coming here realizing what happened and uh closing their iron fucking fist around your planet yeah

And maybe that's fucking better than being torn apart by dinosaur people, but... That's effectively how they lived. The lesser of two evils, for sure. And even though this was just one barracks on one outpost on the planet, the fact that this was able to happen at all, they're going to come back in their full force. And the only reason why it won't get annihilated is the crystal. All right. That's right. And the Thorians are going to think that it was the Empire that destroyed their temple ship.

Which means the Empire might think it's the Saurians that started everything as well, so hopefully they see that and not my people in the middle of it. Well, even if they don't blame the Dwarven, I think they're going to get themselves in the middle of a terrible intergalactic conflict. Casualties of war. Begun the Dune Wars have...

I propose we kill Justin. And you make it back to the Rhapsody. Does the Rhapsody have room for the Sand Spear?

Yeah. The Ravity has a pretty big hanger bay and it's absolutely not filled. I like to keep it for sentimental reasons. Fold down for sale, fold up the... I imagine we gotta be able to break down the sand speeder to some degree, right? You absolutely can collapse it and the tubes at the bottom are a sort of compression air and they're deflatable. I'm imagining like a sand catamaran. Yeah, very exactly correct.

So you can absolutely work the SAM streamer into the bay and collapse the sail and tie it up and deflate and kind of like shift it as much as you'd like away into the hangar. - A little piece of hull and then we'll head into the, I'll head into the sort of main quarters area.

And you can park it next to the warthog from the junk planet and the sling from the ice planet. It's like a wacky vehicle. They're like the Keyblades on all the other worlds. Exactly right. I don't know why they call it a warthog. It's more like a puma to me. Anyway. Can we go back? I forgot to play Gwent against that old lady. laughter laughter

I fast travel real quick. The hangar door closes behind you on the Rhapsody. You park the Sandstreamer. You head back into the lounge area, the pilot's chair, and you get ready to leave this world behind for now. You

push forward on the throttle. You feel the familiar thrum of the engine war to life as you take off. The Rhapsody twists up into the air, breaks out of the atmosphere and finds itself once again surrounded in space. And as you begin to discuss what lies next on your journey, you see

on your readout, a blinking from Hank pinging the radar. - Oh! - What is it, buddy? - Large vessel rapidly approaching. - Oh, fucking hell! - What is it? - Can you tell what it is, who it is? - Is it Ironsides? - Breaking into view, moving unbelievably fast,

an even larger temple destroyer rapidly approaching you. Oh fuck. Blasting onto the display in front of you, you see an immense creature. You see a large T-Rex head, a mantle that he wears about him. No crown, but a mantle.

of no less than 18 feathers surrounds his shoulders. Almost a kilt of furs, leathers, it's hard to tell, as this creature appears on your screen and says, "Present to me the Archon." No can do, boss. Let us be on our way. We won't have any trouble.

I'll hit the emergency. It's glowing red. It's flashing inside. It is flashing red. The alarm bells are going off. This is not the... This is not the...

gathering summonings. This is the battle station summonings. As he says, that was not a question. And erupting from the base of this temple structure, you see ships begin to pour out. And I need everyone to decide initiative. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

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This massive T-Rex person calls out that this is not, I wasn't asking, present the Archon as you slam the alarm button.

the signifier that everyone runs to battle stations. You all meet up in that familiar hexagonal runway as it races towards the hangar bay. Okay, but cutscene, we're all running down. Sprinting, yeah, very Gundam, very Gundam-esque. Sprinting down the hallway, you all burst into the hangar bay, pike first. Once...

my boss man here, he punches that warning sign, that warning siren, and it blares, and we all make it to the hangar. I would take one last drag of my cigarette as I stamp it out and say, they always want to do this the hard way. And I'll put one foot on the ladder leading up into the sparrow, vault in, and as I close the hatch above me and turn the key and...

give it some gas to take off. Jason, by the midnight, begins playing on my radio. As I take off out of the Rhapsody into outer space and I will...

I'll take my turn. Hell yeah. I'm gonna move 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and absolutely just lay into this guy as I use my blasters to attack twice with +8 on both two hits. It's gonna be a 20 and a 21 to hit. Oh, that's actually a good angle. Oh, it'll hit, yeah. The first one, these are both on number three.

That's gonna be eight plus six is fourteen. Fourteen, nineteen, twenty. Twenty-six total points of damage over two blaster attacks. Twenty-six. On number three. Yeah, on number three. Exactly. As you race into the sparrow and you take flight, you burst out of the...

the Rhapsody just gunning, laying on fire as your blasts shoot out and easily land in to this ship. Peppering the front of it. It looks incredibly beaten up. That's my turn. Conveer.

How do you get in your ship? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're racing down the hallway. You burst into the hangar bay. You see your ship. I lay down the sands. I kind of surf on them straight into the cockpit and then just slam it forward as the Echo busts out of the Rhapsody straight into combat. I am...

Bustin' the field! You forgot to assign homework, but doesn't a shift go before-- Oh shit, yeah yeah yeah, you're right, you're right. And for this is all-- getting the shift is all for flavor. Flavortown. We've already gotten our shift. So they can fight all of us. Yeah, I'm not-- I don't even fight everybody.

I am immediately eviscerated. My sh*t is just going to the ground. And then just get absolutely like Swiss cheese. I know! Thank you. When Charles dies, I'm playing glop sh*t over him.

Who's number one overall? I'm going to say one through six. All right, this ship will turn towards Pike, having approached. We'll go... Two. Now he can turn. Yeah, he'll just go forward. Three. And he'll take a couple of blaster shots at...

Oh fuck, he got a roll to attack. Can he? Ooh, baby. Even the cones. You're about to get coned. We'll see.

You think an ace pilot doesn't have tricks up his sleeves? 23 and 25 to hit. You bastard, you jumped out of my ace maneuver! Yeah, they'll hit. Oh, do you literally have the spin? I have a reaction. Where you deflector them? I can increase my AC by four, but that is one shot. Wait, did you say 23? Yeah, the first was 23.

I will use my reaction, so I will expend 10 feet of movement on my next turn to do advanced reflexes, which will increase my AC by 4 until the start of my next turn.

So I'm essentially seeing this come in and I'm able to definitely maneuver out of the way of one of the hits. Yeah. And I'll get hit by the other one. So my AC until, oh no, no, no. I'm sorry. It would only be 22. I can't get out of the way of either, right? You said it was 23 and 25. Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh, cool. Yes, it's like a minor shield. I'm still going to hold on to my reaction. I'll walk it all back. I'll walk it all back.

I try to get out of the way and my ship is grazed by these shots. As you see, almost in these prehistoric bug form ships pouring out of this temple ship, you see red lasers blast out of gems fixed to the edge of these cannons as beams land into the sparrow and you take 17 points of blaster. That's a good chunk.

It's gonna use the rest of-- or it has to use the rest of its movement. It has to use the rest of its movement. So how much movement does it have? It's used three so far. Yeah, it has 15. One, two, three... So does the turn count? Four? No, no, you can just turn as long as you're moving forward. And it will turn towards... Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly right. Let's go one more. One more. That's it, right? Yep.

- Kabir. - Two, three, four, five. - You've entered into space. - Perfect. Now that one has conveniently placed itself in front of me, I'm gonna move up one, two, three for now. And I'm actually going to use my guns on it as well. However, I'm gonna target its cannons or its guns. The gem guns or cannons, whatever you mentioned. - Okay. - I'm gonna try to do that.

So I can use this twice, right, is what it says? - Mm-hmm. - I believe blasters is like a double attack. - Yeah, okay. So we're gonna do two of these. - Crystal blasters. - I have a plus seven to hit. So it's a 26 and a 24. - Damn. - Oh, both of those. - Yeah. - All right, so they do each two D8s plus seven. What's the D8? It's this one, I think. Two.

Thor, roll those. Five and eight is 13, seven, 20, 24, plus seven, 31 points of damage to the ship number one. - 31, you blast out at this ship, firing at the crystals on its blasters. As your beams fire out, it's coalesced punches of condensed sand.

as they land into this ship. As the sand hits, it begins to eat away at the hull and destroys this ship, obliterating its pilot. - It's a time, baby. - Into oblivion. - So number one is gone. - Number one is gone. - Awesome. - And then I have to finish my movement, right? - Yes, that's correct. - So I would've moved three, so I can turn now? - Yeah, no, no, you can still turn. - So I can turn.

And I can't turn again. You can't turn again. As long as you're moving, you can turn. I'm going to line up right next to the pipe. You just can't turn on the first movement. Got it. Every subsequent. The first movement has to be forward. Every subsequent movement, you can turn at an angle. Okay. So I'm going to line up next to the pipe. Nice. And two will go. Which one's two? He's facing this way. It will move like up one through its people, up two through its people. Two, three. And then, yep.

Does it want to turn in five? Yeah. Can it hit... Who can it hit that is not dandy? Oh. I mean, basically, anybody who's not red. So, yeah, basically, we just continue these lines out. Yeah, anyone that's... Even me...

I'm kind of in his arc stone. I would say me or LaBouche. Alright. It will shoot at... It will shoot at Chuckles. Oh no! 20 and a 13. A 13. I...

So my reaction, uh-oh, if Chuckle's the target of an attack, he can choose to redirect that attack to any other target he can see. Wow. Any other target he can see. Can I basically redirect it back to him? Yeah. 100% you can. The first one's going to miss, and the second one is going to be direct hit. I'm going to think, oh, oh.

"Oh no, oh no, oh thank goodness I have this!" And I'm gonna reach out and put on a sweatband around my head and then suddenly a sweatband's gonna go around the top of my saucer as a big arm with a giant tennis racket is gonna appear and Mario Tennis in back and thunk it right back at him. It arcs through space as your Mario Tennis arm

knocks it back, and the hit lands on, that was number two? Yeah, with like the rocket laser. You were going to go with one of those curved straws. That next time. It's going to change every time. As the red blast lands back on its issuer, and that was its full movement. Is that just your reaction?

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Uh, Dandy. This is Pike, right? Yeah, this pinkish ship. Do it on how much damage? We have to ship. So I'm gonna go one, two, three, four, five, six. Turning's not moving. So you get a turning fray. Oh, okay. So you're at five right now. Yeah. So one, two, three, four,

Or you would turn... Five. Four would be there. Wait, so were you here? No, she was here. Here, okay, got it. One, two, three, four, and then you can turn five. And then you can turn, and there, or go that way? Six.

Oh, but my butt is towards you. So Kavir will be around. I don't want to do that. So you can end here or you can end either here. I want to be behind you. You can come up this direction instead. Yeah, let's do that. I'll be right behind you. On your aft.

I mean, you could end this way, point this way. Nobody collides into anybody. You just do whoop, whoop, whoop. You're flying in formation. The Rhapsody crew. Oh, that's pretty cool. But can I be facing towards you guys? You can. That might... Well, we'll see what happens. We just want to make sure you don't collide. Yes, I think that's totally fine. Oh, because you have to do that? Okay, got it. You're good. I'm going to...

as the pterodactyl, Terry. Summon the constellations and I am going to target Pike.

and repair 2d10. - Yeah! - And once per turn, you can choose to gain advantage on a roll. - That's sick. - Oh! - You just activated god mode. - You're the best. - I think I do 2d10, right? Yeah, I do that. - You're the best. - Yep, you roll 2d10. As your form flies out of the hangar, you would step onto your ether platform and the energies would swirl about you as you use your druidic might

to take shape a giant pterodactyl. You fly out into the hangar bay, and you, I mean, you fly out of the hangar bay, and you come behind Pike and Kabir. You summon the power of the stars themselves. You draw upon the constellations, and immediately, Pike, your ship will swirl with the energies of the stars as you repair damage. - Huge. - Thank you.

You will hear overcombs, not directed at any one of you, but it really is her. Oh, shit. All right, we got amazing stats. The third one will move. Yeah, he's weak as hell. Come on, bring him on. He has a go there. Okay.

And he will gun straight at Pike. Awesome. Being directly in front of him. Oh, no. He's just flying straight at him? No, no, no. I mean, he'll, like, shoot him. He'll attack first. Yeah, he'll attack first. He's going to drive by. He's going to drive by. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. 17 and a natural one. They both miss. Wow. He will turn. So that's one. He will turn kind of towards Derek and then just, like, move. Two, three, four, five. That's it.

And that's three. It's two chuckles. Oh, you chose the wrong crew to attack. I would have gotten in, basically. It's like, basically, bop it, bop it. Twist it. And I'm basically just punching a bunch of shit that shouldn't actually work. But very much like the, oh gosh, can I say the orcs are 40k? I believe my Machiavellian magic. It fucking works. And then, brrrr, the headband is gone.

Flip it around. That's the back. That's like the little. Oh, yeah. So I was here, right? Yep. One, two, three. And then I'm going to turn, actually. You can? Yeah, you can turn. I'm going to stay here. Can I, are they in my cone? Hold on. Yes. Right? Uh.

Is this kind of my firing cone? I guess I'll wait here. Where? Are they in my firing cone? They are now. It's... You... So, one special. Yes, they would be in your firing cone. That's one. It's just one. Yeah, you turn. Yeah, you're good. No, that's right. Okay, so, I am going to... Three is very weak. Uh...

Don't worry about it. I'm going to press some buttons and I'm going to smack the flower on my lapel as a large flower on the lapel of the clown on my saucer will emerge and a blast of acid is going to shoot out and it's going to fork and attack both of them. Nice. Two and three. Two and three. Okay. Because I actually don't know what my pies do, I guess that's something that you roll, but I'm going to just do my flower attack.

Holy shit, what is it? It's plus seven, so a 19. Can I twist? Yeah, yeah. 19 and then a 23 to hit. And then... Both hit. What's the lowest we've hit? I don't know. Mine was 20, 21. I think I find the units.

Okay. To number two, it's going to deal 14 points of damage. Big money. Nice. And to number three, he's out of here. Get him out of here. It's going to deal 16 points of damage. Get him out of here! Melt that guy. Okay.

As you spray out in this cone and it collides with both ships, you'll see as your blast lands on them, the acid eats through the hulls and they're both destroyed. What? In space. Ship two. That's what I said! Two, three, four. Contra style. Five.

You did 16 to 10. So four. I present my broadside. I present my aft to them. Yeah, I bet you do. Sick public.

Do you actually present your app? Yeah. Okay. Which one's four? Four is all the way back here. Okay. Definitely not in range of Juggles. Four will begin to fly. If it can, it's not going to collide with its team, but it will try and fly in the direction of Juggles. One, two, three, four. It should be able to shoot five. Yeah. I mean, it can definitely get him from here. That's four. And then if you want to make your attack there and then choose where he moves after. Yeah.

due to my ability, my feature, the Kaboom. You do not get a bonus for attacking my app. I wrote this! Damn it! You should have studied

I picked up two dice, I was so excited, I was like the fool forgot about the aft rules! Get a good look at my kaboom! How did you forget about the aft rules? You really made you look like an aft-hole there. Got him! Very funny. I'd also imagine that death, it seems silly, but the kind of acid that comes out is this horrible demonic, they probably mutate so fast that they die. Like being killed by death.

It's a really pungent, terrible, green, demonic acid. He hits away and horribly disfigures them as they disintegrate. It might turn you into Spawn Chaos and then you die. It's like the troopers who get hit by the yellow acid in Starship. Yes, 100%. So four will hit one with a 17 probably.

What was that? 17 to hit. 17 to hit. That will hit. Nice. Score one for the good news. Good news for once. Ooh, 10 points of damage. I'll redirect that. No, you used your reaction. It was my turn again. You already took his turn. So, out of my ass, a Curly King Straw.

It'll go in! *thunk* *zoosoo* in like a fucking McDonald's place! Give me a Hot Wheels racetrack. Yeah, and then it just swings back *thunk* like so. Oh, fine! How was that?

How dare you shoot at a clown's ass! It's not very polite! You can prepare all you want, but you'll never be prepared for me. Oh my god, oh god. I didn't even do any of them! That's what I have! That's very fun. That's very fun. Laboosh, it's to you. Does Dash exist in this world? Uh, sure, yeah. But it would take, I would say, you can boost. I didn't have boosting rules, I'm not gonna look them up. You can boost, but I believe it is your action.

The dash, just like it would be normally, right? So I will be running through the hallway and I will have essentially leapt into the air and Metroid balled into an orb and then land into the chest of the legally distinct--

The nondrack! The nondrack! The nendrot! The chest plate closes over and veins of my goo will flow through and actually take over this hulking form and then it will start to run through and launch itself out from the runway

out of the port of the side of the Rhapsody and out into space. And I'm not in range of anything. So I'm going to boost with my action. I'm going to go one, two, three, four, boost. One, two, three. And then I'm going to... Just crash through this motherfucker. I'm going to use my bonus action to target that ship, making a ranged attack. That's going to be 27 to hit. That hits. Sorry, sorry. 24.

Five to hit. And just tell me your actual dice roll as well as what you get. 19. He's adding them all up and when I cross a certain threshold I fucking explode. I die. And... He held the video

And so then I do 2d6 of the damages That's gonna be 7 plus 8 is 15 points of damage to that one and I'm just going to ram into him. Which number is that? 4

How many points? I use my unstoppable approach. I essentially, seeing him, I will reach out with my extended hulking arms, grab onto him. The crushing damage of my fist does the 15 points of damage as I tear into the wings of this thing. And then I just pull myself and go, boom! Athletics contest. Trying to rip the ship in two, basically. These guys deserve it.

Get wrecking balled. Get wrecked, nerd. Athletics, you say? Mm-hmm. Oh, good. I have advantage on those for some reason. One moment. To initiate or escape a grapple? Yeah. Ooh, it's going to give me a 14. Natural one. Yeah!

So you move one square forward and it's the equivalent of just whatever your standard attack is. So basically you attack one more time. Do I have to roll that or do I just hit it? Yeah, you roll your damage. He's just rolling back to the image. No, he's rolling. Oh my god, what a chunker. He's gone. 14 points of additional damage.

That's exactly right. Illegally distinct damage. You blast forward as you beat the Rhapsody. Your feet lock into jettison trays. And it fires forward as you blast quickly. It ends right at the end of the opening. You launch out into space, careening towards the Saurians. You fire your...

arms forward, jets erupt from your fists as they reach out. You punch, punch, grasp, and then you pull yourself forward the rest of the way. - And if I pull it in, I tear him apart like a telephone book. - Exactly. - I don't even ram him. - You don't even wait for your body to get there. As you close in, you just rip him apart and cast him away as you end in his square.

He goes, let's listen to It's a Condor! It's an old music. We're going to check that out. Five, five more, Bill.

Which one's fat? Yeah, that guy. He's facing-- He's under the planet. He will fire at Kevir. This guy's about to get flying V'd, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's what I just did. 19. Yeah, that's-- Okay.

You'll take nine points of Ruby Blaster damage as it fires out and shoots beams into the echo. It will move forward one and then attempt to loop back around towards Rhett, almost. That's a turn right and I go straight, yeah. Two, three, four, five. Yep, that was four. Oh, right, even more? Yeah.

Okay, I'll come in like, you know, it'd be cool. Rhett, it is to you. I would asswarp, I hit the alarm button, and I turn to Hank and I'll say, "You take over, buddy." And he would jump into my pilot seat and put his paws up. I'll do my best, Rhett. And I'll run down behind everybody else, slow as my little dwarf legs will take me, I'll jump into the cockpit.

and I'll try to get this heavy piece of machinery off the ground and out. And I will immediately turn to this guy

And I'll say, hey, give me a scan on this guy. And I'm going to use scan, which I can target a ship and ask the DM for its specifications, including AC, HP, and potential weapons. If this gives me advantage... You...

You said that you jump into your ship. You punch in, you plug into the ether engine, you feel the familiar gravitational war as it comes to life and you scoot out of the hangar bay. Immediately you scan the ship. Classification swarm. AC 18 speed 50, two ruby blaster shots.

It has pack tactics. And how much HP? 30. 30. All right. Its whole rating is 30 and its maneuverability is 15 class.

So now everybody knows that information. 15 days in. And so I will turn the... It's loud and clear, big guy. I know, I just performed this game. I'll turn the... I'm thinking Aether Barge. Is that fun? Oh, yeah! Aether Barge. What a great word. So I'm going forward and I will...

So use my Easter blasters. My scan used one of my blasters. So my second one will just be an attack, but I'm advantage because I scanned it. Oh, that's great. 10 plus. I need eight. I need eight more. Six. So that hits, right?

18 is the AC. Oh, it's 18 is the AC. Twist it. I'm twisting it. Twist that shit. Fuck it. It's advantage, twist. We never do space combat. Boom. Yeah, that was a near- Boom! So that is 2d10 plus a, wow. Get this out of here. 2d10. That's very funny, nearly 2d10. That's very funny. 22 points of force damage. To who? To number five.

Your gravitational blasters war to life as the energy fires out

as a large orb moves forward and crashes into this ship and explodes with dark gravitational energy. Damn! It's fine. It's not dead. It's 22? I think it said explodes. No, it just hits it. Oh, okay. The energy damage. It's got 30 HP. That's very misleading. All right, that's my bad, everybody. I bet the blast exploded. All right.

All right, I hear the ship exploded. There was an explosion. I'm all wrecked. You're on notice, miss. 30 HP. Consider yourself on notice. Jeez. And then I'll just move the rest of my movements straight back. Okay. And that's my turn. And number six will go. Number six will attempt to just start off by blasting Laboosh. Don't fly too close to Pike, that would be terrible. No, no. Don't fly over here, I'm so scared.

20 and 21 to hit. Both of those hit. My AC is 14. Wow, damn. Oh, because you're so big, that makes sense. Yeah, but I've got like 1,400 hit points. Insane. How many? 1,400 health points. What the fuck?

He has 1,400 end points. But I have resistance to all physical style damage. Which is why I ram every day. You just destroy him. You take 18 points of ruby blaster damage. As the ship will move forward and then fly towards Pud. Oh, you idiot! You fell right in my trap! I was kidding about being scared! One, two, three. How would you like... This is three. Just turn, Adam. Yeah. Four and then five. We're just going to collide? Oh, yeah!

Don't worry, he's never going to see another turn. This guy, that was the last action this guy has taken in his entire life. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to need it. That's fine. If you want. Oh, I want. Mike?

Oh no, also terrified. Just kidding! Once per turn I use my ace pilot maneuver. Before you do... Oh no! Bullshit! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! You don't seem to understand. Nothing will keep us from the Archon.

We'll keep you from coming from the ship. Oh, like just right here in the back somewhere? And erupting out of the temple ship, once again comes an immense...

form. The T-Rex Saurian piloting his own ship joins the battlefield flanked by five more swarm ships. You put them back on the field. We also killed them in the perfect order, one through five. Why am I missing one? Oh no, five's not dead. Do you have an extra one? No, there's only five that takes the field.

I'm saying that we have four more. Oh. So he can be flanked by four. Wait, how do we have four? I have no idea. There's six corners. We're going to have a new one in a minute. Okay, ladies, let's get information. How's that? Everybody look good? That was awesome. We're ready to be killed. Pike, you will go first. Hearing this...

I have not changed what I was planning on doing. I see the sixth ship flying towards our formation, and I hit a few buttons and crank the sparrow into overdrive as I activate my ace pilot ability, which is once per turn, I can use my ace pilot skills to quickly flip the sparrow over my target and reposition behind them using 30 feet of movement. Oh, shoot.

as I literally do a barrel roll and I end up behind my target. Wow. You flip the levers, you twiddle the pedals, you crunch down on the right and lift with the left. You corkscrew through the air up, forward, and over, positioning yourself behind this ship. I will have advantage on the attacks that I'm making. I'll start by making one attack, and I crit on a 19 or a 20 if I'm behind them. Oh! Damn. I forgot about that.

That's gonna be a plus eight to hit, plenty to hit on the first hit. I will roll the damage, which is 2d6, which is gonna be eight plus six is 14 points of damage to number six. - Okay, okay. - And then I'll make another attack if he's still alive. Oh shoot, I got attacked again. Plenty to hit. Eight, 12 more points of damage. - Four more out.

You corkscrew over this ship. You definitely move behind him and immediately fire out your blasters into the aft space of this ship. And as you hit it, it blasts and the ship explodes. Nice. And you can remove it from the field of play. Thank you. Just add it as a new ship. They came from behind.

He says moral. Don't keep it in reserves. They're called swarm ships for a ride. That's true. It's a swarm class. And then having used my...

I have to use ten more, or I have to move two more squares. So I'll move here, turn, and here, and I'm good as I'm kind of flying now. I'm making my way to circle this, the rest of these jackasses. That's my whole turn. Uh. No, I'm alright. You're good. The leader of the Saurians will move. Yeah, he's a lizard. Uh.

that ship will move towards Dandy. - He's like enormous, so help me figure out how he's gonna move here. I guess we'll just like assume it's the one underneath of him. He wants to move towards Dandy so we can go five, or that's gonna be 10. - So if he's technically large, he's at the center point of three.

It's how a large ship works. Oh, this. I see, yeah. So then how does he choose his-- he still chooses his direction this way then? So-- oh no, because he has to move on points then, right? I guess this still works. I'm kind of dumb. It's fine. Just move him in what it feels like. How many movement? 50. Jesus. So I mean, if he wants to get to her, he can easily run through all three of our formation and destroy us. Well, five would be one, two, three, four, five. No, that's way too few.

That's right. And just move him right up in front of Kavir. Because it would be one more than like one, two, three, four, five as opposed to like five. You know what I mean? Just move him in front of Kavir for right now. Okay. There you go. See, this is why you just have to tell us what to do. Because we're too dumb. Yeah. Nice. Good catch. What do we get? Five? Five. Three more. We'll put it down. It looks a lot of rolling, buddy. Yeah.

A giant energy cannon descends from underneath the ship. Oh my god. That ends in a ruby gem. It pulses as red light coalesces at its center, and a massive beam of arcing energy fires out at the Echo. You take...

18 points of ruby laser damage. The echo? Yes. That's a ship. Cool. That's very cool. Thank you, thank you. Echo! Come here. Uh-oh. Rattled by that damage. I have a question.

The Sandstorm ability, does that negatively affect every ship or just enemies? Because it does say enemies that enter the sphere. Enemies. Just enemies. Yeah, it says enemies. So it's 17 enough to know enemies. Okay, perfect. Well, you're controlling it. Yeah.

Okay, perfect. And it follows me as I move? Mm-hmm. It swirls about your ship as you move. Yeah. Sweet. Good to know. You have to start your turn by crashing into the deck. That was question number two. Is this ship big enough that there's no way I can avoid it, or can I kind of, like...

maneuver underneath it. You gotta crash into it. I gotta crash into it. Here goes nothing. I wanted it to be 3D, but I didn't have the brain to create it. Science fantasy. We talked about it in Texas. It's a deck set? Surely it's got trenches. Huh? What is it? It's a deck set? Athletics contest. Oh, athletics contest.

Hey, you might get scattered out in the sparrow. So, I mean, that's... There you go. That could be nice. I got a five. This is... It's smaller. Hang on. Sorry. Athletics? Or acrobatics? Athletics? I see acrobatics. Actually, I'll give you that. Athletics or acrobatics. Okay. I just don't see athletics, so that's why I'm asking. It should be... 22? Oh, wait. I don't have a bonus to it. 18.

19. Okay, so I lose that. You take eight points of damage as you crash into the main ship. Roll a d10. D10? Instead of, because it's large. And re-roll tens. One. That's right back, he bounces right back.

What was that for? It was a scatter die. So normally we do the d6 for the scatter die? Yeah. But because he's large, there's more space around him. Oh, more space to go. Okay. You can now choose the direction you would like to go. Okay. Yeah, you can reposition now. You can go right, left, you can go around him. All right. I'm going to swing to the right here. Do I still have my pull movement or minus 10 for that initial attempt? I think it's minus 10. Minus 10, okay. One, two, three, and then...

- Four and I'll turn. - This way? - You get one turn, so you would need to do this and then if you didn't want to turn early, right? - What's your total movement? - Right now, four, 40 feet. - Oh, one, two. - Yeah, sorry, that's after the hit. - You could turn. - I just wanna be in your way. - Yeah, that's true. - Just go where he is now. - And do this, but then just turn one. You just can't turn two. - I see, okay.

Let's do this, actually. So let's do one, two, wait, see, one, two, three. You can go out here and then turn back in. Or if you come out, one, two, three, and then four. Yeah. Okay, so then I see that one. It's kind of like a false number one. There's usually a way to figure it out. Yeah. All right, so ship number 1-1. I will...

target with my Blasters. Let's see, this is... Sorry, y'all. Not as cool. One, two. Shoot that. Two 14s, so neither hit. Neither hits. Okay. I attempted to attack. What'd you roll? Seven and seven, plus seven to hit. Fourteens. Yeah. And then, I guess that's my entire movement and attack.

Yes. Yep. Somebody's gonna- Two. Err. That was two number one. That- Well, that took that for number one. Yeah, let's go number one. Is that still on the board? That's the one that- That's the one I just tried to attack, yeah. He's fresh. He's fresh. One one. One dash one. It will fire on Pike. Okay.

They'll use Crab Hammer and put him on. It'll miss both shots. As it will attempt to move, yes, that direction. Oh! Three, four, five? That's, yep. Perfect. Wait, who's that? Red. Whoops!

Yeah, that's fine. I steer into it. Now, Dandy's turn. Uh, Dandy. Get out of there, Dandy. Stay away from the ship. Um, I can hit the main guy right now, right? I'm just going to attack, magma shot, so I'm firing my guns from my pterodactyl.

And they deal, oh to hit, how does it hit? To hit, it's 24. Definitely hits. So it's going to do, it's going to do, it's going to do nine points of damage. And then, I am going to...

This guy's here. I have, what is it, 60? Yeah, 60. So I'm going to go one. Yep. I can't go into him. One. Two. And while I'm doing this, I'm going to cast as a bonus action Primal Screech. I'm going to Screech out.

And enemy targets within 30 feet, so I believe that's these two. Yeah, for sure. Are disadvantaged on their next roll and cannot take reactions. Nice! That was two. Moving into the score was two, now you can still turn. Either way, yep. Four. Yep. Five. Six. Nice. That's a great position. Do you want to use your second magma blast into his aft? Yeah.

For sure. You're at advantage. At advantage? Oh, to hit? It's been a while. Yeah, a long time. It's been a while. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. 14? 14 is not hit. Can I fucking do the thing? Yeah. Hell yeah. Is that just one roll? That's just one roll? Yeah, you just take the highest out of your three rolls. Oh! Oh!

Let's go! You wanna take me? I'm gonna Forge War. I'm gonna Forge War. Forged by War. So is this a double crit? It's 11 points of damage in his aft. Well, you double your dice. Yeah. Oh my god. Eight, plus eight.

19 points of magma. Magical magma damage. That's huge. Ah, right in my half. Ah, fuck. Magma cold damage. Oh, magma cold damage. I love that. It's all those chili peppers. It's all those chili peppers.

You fire out these blasters of magma as they land squarely into, not only do you fire and you hit him clean on, but you deftly swoop around him, come behind, and then blast a massive blow of magma at the back of his ship.

And you'll hear the clear power of the Archon. Oh, look at that. Dice are in the story, folks. Oh, and two.

Two is this guy, next to LaBouche. He probably turns this way. Yeah, I was going to say, I didn't position these guys when they came into play, I just put them in the square so they don't... Why don't you move five? He's going to stay right there. He will attempt to... He'll move forward. He will fire on Rhett if he can. He can. He'll fire on Rhett.

Try it. Oh no, he destroyed one. That is a 24 and a 15. Jesus. Those both hit. Oh no! Yeah, he's terrible.

Yeah, but they just have a bazillion hit points and they're like resistant to damage. I think Laboosh technically with resistance has four times my health pool. That's crazy. It's like actually nuts. Because I'm resistant to lasers. No, I wouldn't think so. So yeah, basically he just smashes them. I'm resistant to lasers. Oh! So he actually has four times my health pool. I have force, you have...

That's really good. Really good. Very nicely done. 17 points of blaster damage as the ruby light fires out twice in twin beams from this ship and crashes at you. And then he'll just fly like as best he can. So you just do right through? Yeah, he'll go straight through. How many Gs? One. Oh no, it's just one. So then two, three, four, five. Thank you.

Perfect. I thought it was a chicken. Me too. I was like, what just happened? I would have screamed. I managed to suck some loose to my face. Chuckles. You just gave it a good push. I'm going to go...

I think it would be backwards. He had disadvantage. You had showed your aft, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. You're right. You just like shuffled. You just twerked your way through space. Was I faced this way then? No. No, you were facing that way. You exposed your bum. You can't tell your aft from your map. From your map? Jesus. Three. What's my map? Four. Right here.

As I am going to, in my console, I'm going to go over to my trusty slot machine that of course I have a gambling habit. And I'll reach in and it'll say on the honka honka honka. And I'm going to reach up and crank the lever. It'll go...

as a bunch of fruits are going to spin, as a giant hand with a pie will emerge, I need to roll a d6. I don't know what the different pies do. Good luck. Who are you targeting, the big guy? Five, I'm targeting the big guy. I forgot about this, hang on. So it will determine-- So we can target throughout. There'll be three different fruits of whatever it is. What did you roll? A five. And you explode. I'm done.

That exploding pie from the beginning comes back. Tremendous. I hope so.

It's a good pie. It's a good pie. *singing* Livin' lead pie! *sounds of a pie being ripped* What a banner song! I mean, just immediately into it. Good job. *singing* Livin' lead pie! If you got a job to do, you're gonna do it right. I hope it's the wormhole pie that rips them to pieces. That's the best one. Pie pieces! The pie rips them to pieces. I think Mace has learned his lesson giving you wormhole-related items.

Yeah, he was like right on there. What fruit is that? It's apple pie. Oh, the apple. Classic. Classic apple pie. Ding, ding. Three apples emerge and flash as an apple pie emerges hot and steamy and just yeets it towards the main ship. The main ship? The boss. Mm-hmm.

Fuck. Your arm launches this apple pie, hot and steaming. It flies through. Did you have to land the head, or is it a save? It just says roll D5. Ha ha ha!

Or a Duel D6. I'm bad at this. You launch an apple pie straight at this boss. And when it lands, you're exactly correct. Because what is in apples but worms? And you may swap his position with any other ship on the map. Oh, that's cool. No.

Oh no, but I'm so scared. I hope he doesn't go away. Oh no. What should I do? I'm so scared. Too many said that was on the map, you know? Things could have gotten real fun. Here? Probably... Yeah, probably here. So what happened with the temple ship? Yeah, far away. I can deal with that. So we'll put the closest tri-corner there. Yeah.

And that's my turn. Nice job. Get out of here! Way to glow. Oh, that's my move. And that would be three? Three's not gone yet, I don't believe it. Three is still fresh. Yeah, three's fresh. Where is it? Right here. He's down here. Dandy and Pike and Kavira are in the cone. He can also shoot the big bat.

- You move forward two. - No. - And turn, towards the other way, other way. And fire on Labouche. - No! - Son of a bitch. - Son of a bitch. - Oh no. - 19 and a 10. - Too bad I'm not a giant suit of armor. What is it? - 19 and a 10. - 19 and a 10.

14 points of ruby laser damage as it fires out and crashes into your form as streaks of red energy wrap around you. Okay. Well, I'm going to tell you, I'm actually obligated to say, how do you like them grappled? You're welcome, Labooch. Thank you very much. Labooch, it's your turn.

I am not surprised. That's very funny. That's very funny. Oh, I think he has to move three more squares. Oh, he does? Yeah. So just forward three. Does he take an opportunity attack? No, no. Maybe, I don't know. We haven't gotten there. Okay. Laboosh. I have to move forward one. And then I will...

My momentum is still carrying me forward, but I kind of twist my body in such a way that I turn and look at the other two ships that have just flown behind me, one and three like this, and I will stretch out and grab one and grab the other, and then attempt to crush them against each other. - Oh shit! - Did you need to face them first? - He just turned his body around. - Not according to the ability. Once per combat, if Laboosh is within 30 feet of two ships, he can fire his hands out, grappling them.

They both need to make dexterity saving throws. Just leave me there. This can't end badly for me. Your arms shoot out behind you as your head spins around. Ten and a fourteen. They both fail, which means I launch them together, destroying ships under 50 hull points, otherwise dealing 6d12 plus 8 damage. So I think I just destroy both of them. That checks out.

I crush them against each other in a massive flap and then I flip around and I continue my way. One, two, three, four, yeah.

Jeez. That was my action, Flingshot Slam. I do not... I could use my bonus action. I could use my bonus action. I'm within 20 feet of number two, right? Yeah. Oh, 20 feet is two squares. Yes.

That's 20, that's 20. One, two. Oh, sorry, sorry. I thought you were talking about the big guy. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? None of these are our friends. Why don't you kill Anomal the Chorus Bros? No. Would I be able to do it to four through Dandy?

Because if I use this ability on two, then I'm gonna end up in front of Dandy and she's gonna crash into me and I don't want that. What does the ability say? It says, bonus action target to ship within 20 feet, make a ranged attack dealing 2d6. If successful, LaBouche can pull himself to the target. Oh, so I don't have to pull myself. So I'm just gonna make the ranged attack. That's not gonna hit. And so I miss.

in an attempt to seeing Dandy flying through, I'll retract my arm and then I'll literally crack the knuckles of my suit and continue to-- Nose make noise. Yes, those do make crunchy metallic noises. Just get me in range of that large ship!

And that'll be my turn. Oh, and I have on my radio playing also a song. Everyone's listening to badass music. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Very Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm having the best time. Is number four still alive? I don't even know who killed it. Two and four. Four is alive. And five. And five. Okay. Then four will... Which one's four?

Between Dandy and, oh sorry, they're both between Dandy. Wasn't helpful at all. Oh, it will also fire on Kabir. Come on, man. With a 17 and a 14. 17 hits.

Only six points of ruby damage as the blaster's... One sails clearly over the echo. The other lands in the hull of your ship. And then it will attempt to move towards its boss. Two. Yeah, that's fine. Three. And then down. This way? Yeah. Four. Five. Yep. Rhett? I am going to...

Oh boy. Surely you have some sort of mega beam. I do have a mega beam, but that is awfully close to you guys, so I don't want to go near there. Surely you have some sort of rail gun. So I have to go forward in the first line? Then I'm going to turn this way, and then I'm going to go here.

Landmaster. Landmaster. Where was I? I was... You were right here. Landmaster. You only used one, two. Yeah, you only used two. So three, four, no, three, turn, four, and I'm going to turn this way. Oh, yeah, you should be able to. That's fine. And the... I'm a little overlapping there, but we'll figure it out. There's going to be a big purple button on my console that starts flashing. Woo-hoo-hoo!

I got you in my sights! I'm going to smash it and shoot a massive, like, purple, almost like black hole bomb. I'm going to shoot towards the middle of this vessel, and I'm going to use Darkstar Missile. See ya. And... Oh no, can I twist that? You may twist it. It comes back to me! By the way...

Oh, can I twist it? We have them for a reason. We all did this. Oh no. There we go. 20 something to hit. Yeah, it hits. I hope he's got 400 points. And so it's like the, it's like Jango Fett's bomb. It gets to the middle. Oh yeah.

And then all of a sudden, all of a mess starts to form in the middle, so the missile itself will do 4d12 plus 8 damage. I feel like once a day, though, right? This is your gig of fuck you missiles. Yeah. This was screwed this last time. No, it didn't. No, it did. We saved the day. We're getting paid an ice cream. They're all dead now. Oh, fair, fair, yeah. But all I wanted was my ice cream!

And they got atomized over ice cream. 26 points of damage. 26? 26. Oh my god. And then I think we said to the start of my next turn, so it's just like one round.

There's a 30-foot radius gravity pulse. Instead of taking damage at the beginning, if you start your turn there, you need to make a dex or strength saving throw, and if you fail, then you take the 2d10, and you basically, it's harder to get out of this. It's exactly what I was asking for you to do. Yes. You fire off this massive blast, and... Uh-oh.

The dark energies warble around and create this swirling, almost whirlpool of gravitational force. And it is Five's turn. Uh-oh.

He has to collide into you. Five will collide into Juggles. Athletics. Can you-- Are you athletic, mister? No. That's a 14. Wow. 13. Wow. So... How did that work? He takes the damage. Roll damage.

Me? Yeah. Roll just like a normal blaster damage hit. I think it's 2d8. And then it'll d6 scatter somewhere around you, and I rolled a 3. 1, 2, 3. You sure about this guy? Is that right? 19 points.

damage to DC on her my balls up to the eight Yeah, I forgot five was it was trying to get into me I and a big loved hand goes up And it's even launching away just explode the ship in the shrapnel through space And it comes back to the top end

And you hear the large T-Rex call out. You still don't get it. The Archon will lead to the expansion of the Saurian. And there's nothing we won't do to claim it.

And all of them will spawn back on the map. Excuse me? Where? There aren't any tokens left. All of them will spawn back on the map. Where would you like them? Like all from the same side again or different places? It's all just continuously pouring out of the ship.

That's fine. You can put them a little-- Yeah, you can put them off to the side there. That's great. Just have it resurrected. Anything that has not died, yeah. If I had more tokens, it'd be fine. You'd be getting fucking swarmed. You will see that the ships now warble with a red energy. Yikes. Yeah. Okay.

One, two, three, four, five. I don't know what you're doing. You could ram Kabir evil. Stop it. Take me out of the picture. Seeing that Rhett has engaged with the large ship, I'm going to pull an awesome fly-by maneuver as I fly around. Are you in the gravity bomb? No, it's way up there. It's 30 radius, right?

You were just out of it. Okay. I'm trusting you. Oh, okay. So it's one, two, three. I was more curious because I'm trying to figure out what 30 looks like here. So I'll have just used my five movement, my 50 movement to loop around Kavir and giving Rhett support.

Fire two shots, maybe at its aft. I don't know if I can see the back of the ship from there. Is that... Am I at its aft? Yeah, that's aft. Up to you guys. That's probably a little generous. No, it's a nice pilot. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what that means, but I'm disturbed by it. I'm disturbed by it. Oh, do I no longer have the advantage? You don't. 60 seconds. Got it. 60 seconds is 10 rounds. Oh, I just assumed it was, is it not just the next attack or is it forever? 60 seconds. Yeah, 10 rounds. Damn. Let's go. I don't need to be behind him. I don't give a shit. I'm going to just attack this guy twice. First attack will be 24 to hit.

24 hits. On the big guy. I don't know what his AC is! His base is tired. Oh, that's gonna be a 21 to hit. 21 hits? Okay. Both will hit, so it's gonna be five plus six is 11 plus 12 is 23 points of damage over two blaster attacks. You hit the big guy? Yes. Oh yeah, you're right there, got it.

You fire out these blasts at the ship and they land solidly. And as they crash into the hull, it almost looks like the blaster energy kind of just moves off of its sheening surface. I'm about to tell them to ace maneuver these. You know what I mean? That's the end of my turn. The T-Rex ship will...

Move and turn. He struggles to turn. He has to make a strength or dex save. He struggles to turn, though, because it's like... Yeah, he can't really reach the controls. Yeah, it takes him a really long time to do a K-turn. He needs to crumple in this fucking thing. Yeah, let's get him out of here. Let's get him out of here.

That's not enough. I think 15 is the same. No, he dies instantly. I think that barely passes. Bullshit! Dread against the DM. It will move strongly against the current of the gravitational pull, and he will shift around. Like this way? He basically wants to go exactly in the opposite direction. So like one, two, three...

What's his speed? 50. So he's like here. Good enough for me. Ish. Oh! Hey! Chuckles if she's in shadow over him. Oh no. Kavir will... Oh, is that all he's doing? Okay. Yeah, he's moving, I guess. For right now. Oh, fuck. Uh-oh. I have a feeling things are about to get out of control. I have to move to start or I can shoot and then move.

You have to move forward one. Go ahead and move me forward one towards number, doesn't matter. So that's six. I'm going to fire my blasters directly at it. Hopefully hit it this time.

- Let's see here. - You got it. Number six is gonna go downtown. - Downtown. That is a 20 and a 19. - Do you guys ever think this is gonna end? - I don't know, they won't stop swarming from their pyramid ship. - 20 and a 19. - And then the swan. - Both hit. - Who are you saying? - Oh, sorry, the little ship is 18 AC. - Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about that, okay.

And then it's, what is it, two d6s plus seven, right? Okay, two d6s. Let's roll that sucker. That's a six plus seven is 13 points of damage. And it is also affected by the Sands of Time now. - Oh good. - So on its next turn it takes two d6 damage. That's cool.

Oh, I'm sorry, 2d8 is the damage for the blasters. My apologies. Let's run that back real quick. You can reroll. Run that back. 12. Actually, that's funny. Oh, plus 7, 19.

So 19 points of damage to that one, and it's now affected by the Sand of Time. You fire out that same condensed blast of Vron's sand energy as it launches into this ship. You have to finish your movement. Yep. I'm going to turn left. So that's one, and then so that's two, three, four, and then five.

And then from here, I'm actually, oh, actually, that doesn't matter, sorry. Don't worry, I'm gonna be able to grab you and throw you like a fireball. Okay, I'm gonna cast, can I still cast Sandstorm? Or is that, it's either an action or a...

Is that right? It says I use it once per combat and it permeates around me, but I don't know since I've already attacked, can I now cast it or do I have to cast it instead of attack? I believe it's an action. Cool. I believe you do have to use your action to activate it. All right. I am going to end my turn. And where is number one? Right here. Yeah. Facing Dandian. Right behind all everybody. Yeah.

It's got us in our sights. Ooh, my butt. Number one will fly directly into LaBouche. The fool. Yeah, call this. Can I twist? You may. Unless he dreads against the DM. You are resistant. Eleven. This thing's going to detonate or something. It's going to TN. This...

This ship flies into you and collides. And upon hitting you, it explodes. That's really bad. Yeah. Especially if it's going to be like AOE here. Fucking beautiful sound away around the bludgeoning damage.

We gotta take out the main ship here. You take 17 points of explosion damage. Not physical damage. Everyone in the vicinity. Is that physical damage? So that would be Dandian and... Fire? Yeah, fire damage. I'm resistant to physical-style damage. Thank you for sharing. I would call it fire. Yeah, I would call it...

Fires physical explosion damage. I'm just trying to get a ruling here What he's saying is no full damage. I'd say that's elemental damage. And to both of you. Yeah, we get it too. Oh yeah, I'm already... Damn. That's not good enough. I don't feel good about this any longer. Okay, I'm coming out. It's hot. Final might. As they pull out...

I'm gonna screech again. - Take it. - I'm screeching my primal... - Oh yeah, nice. That's really good. - Screech and these two will have disadvantage and cannot take reactions. - Let's go. - So I just did one, two, three, four. I'm going to shoot out to the big guy, the magma shots. And yeah.

It's still a disadvantage. No, not a disadvantage anymore. Ooh, natural 20. Whoa! You got two shots, too. I get two shots. So for this, it's plus six. Eight plus six is 14 plus... Ooh! 14 plus 18. I can't do math right now. Wow. 32. 32.

- Holy! - To the big guy. I was crazy lucky. And then I have to finish, so I did one, two, three, four, five, six. - Nice, nice. - Two, right? Yep, two. - Disadvantage. - Where? - It just hasn't moved for a very long time. - Okay.

Which one's two? Oh, actually they're both at distance. Two needs to roll a strength saving throw before it gets ripped to pieces, right? No. I don't think-- Wasn't it here? Oh, no, no, no. It was down here. Four does. Oh, four does? Yeah. It's here. So actually you speed up running into it. So you would have to move an extra one more dandy. Yeah, there. There? Yeah. Because you get ripped by the gravity. Oh.

Oh, gravity's on four. Two's gonna run into Dandy, though. But... That's fine. Two will do everything that it can to not run into Dandy. Oh, it's facing four. It's facing four, so it's gonna hit four. It's gonna hit four! And explode? Yeah! Ah!

And then they're just gonna show back up again? We gotta take this guy out. Yeah. Every single one of these, even though it's the dinosaur lead, every other one is piloted by glow-up shit, though. Just mercenaries. I choose to quit the game. They will collide. They won't explode. And...

Ooh. Two. Oh, that's on top of dandy. That's how at least we've been doing it. Oh! Pinball style. Athletics. Oh my god, just a d20? Yeah.

- Do I add anything? - Yeah, plus eight. - Okay, got it. Phew, that is 14. - Yeah, a natural one. - Nice. - Oh, good. - It takes the damage and it's now, now what's it roll another scatter? - Another scatter.

Three. So if it was starting here technically, because it did here, then one, two, three. That's in front of the end. This thing is just being hung around. So now it's minus 20 movement. One, two, three. No, it's only done... It's only moved once, really. Technically, because it's gotten bounced twice. But every time it hits and bounces, it loses time. Yeah, that's right. So one, two, three. Yeah, okay.

- 30. - Four. - And which one's that? Let me just make sure I'm in two. - Two. - Two? Okay, not it. Can I get to red? - Five. - You can get right behind red, yeah. - Yeah, not quite in my-- - You can turn, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna get you right there. It will turn... Is that the aft? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It will turn and detonate. Oh, my God. Right in my trench. I don't care for the detonating. No, not good. Are these piloted by anything? Yep. Each one is piloted by a raptor saurian. Oh, my God. This is hard.

And... They're hired for ice cream. You take 18 points. You take 18 points of fire. Oh, wow. He explodes. Tell my daughter, Portia, to finish her master.

When it says one use per combat, that means one use per attack. Per attack. And I believe it's two chuckles. Me? Raptor's 100%. Sorry, Danny, did you know? Yeah, chuckles. Oh gosh! You guys are blowing up! What the heck's going on? We gotta take down the big guy? One, two...

You're in my aft cone. If I'm going to, my flowers are going to, or one flower, and I'm going to attack twice. For my aft cone. Can you just target your aft? I'm going to use twist, because we can't waste the damage. Nah, we gotta finish this guy off.

Easy. Lois is a 23. 23 to death line hits? Yeah. Great. So the first one, I'll just do total. That is 14 plus three is 17. 17 and then 14 plus five is 19. So 17 plus 19.

Whatever that is. 36. 36. On the big guy. Good man. And then you have a turn left. I have a turn? Yeah. Is that gravity still there? So you're probably gaining speed, right? Oh. I just don't know where it is, the problem. It is right here. I think that's where I am, right? Well, and so it would have pulled you in, so you have to move like two more. Oh, it doubles your speed. You're the remainder of your speed. Woo!

It slingshots you out. Bam, okay. And then I'm turning this way. I'm going to just put this here for the black hole. Yeah, perfect. Okay. I want something perfect for it. Three. Oh, it's actually three. Three is facing me. Be gentle. He will careen into your ship. I said gentle. And detonate. All right. I'll do it.

Is there any way for the detonation to miss or it's just he, they, it, you, there's no athletics, they just detonate? If they hit your ship, they detonate, you take the damage. Gotcha. You'll take 15 points of fire damage. And LaBouche. You and LaBouche. No save? No save? I guess by sacrificing their lives. It's like an electrode exploding. It just does the damage. It does the damage. How does normal damage?

But not in this case. This is fire damage. Laboosh. I will move forward two, or I'll move forward one, because I have to. You facing this way? No, I was facing this way. One. I guess I will use my juicers to choose. What? What? Oh my god.

Both hit. I've got a juicer for Christmas. Which means that I'm going to do 4d10. God. God. Ooh. Could be worse. 13, 16. 21. 21.

30 points of damage exactly. Damn! Okay. Two. Number four. Oh, thank goodness. He's trying to hit the self-destruct. I like to think that I actually come upon him and I grab the ship briefly, but I'm focused now on the larger ship, so all I do is just reach in and grab through the hull and pull out a screaming tiny dino man.

and then just like, lift up behind me like a piece of trash out of his face, and then launch myself off from that thing. Can I use this fucking black hole to give myself some extra like- Absolutely! Yeah, 100%. Okay. So hold on, so how much movement do you have? I just used one. One. Okay. So I have three more.

- One, two, three, four. - So you go in here, you spend one, but it doubles the rest of your movement. - Yeah. - Oh, that's cool. - So I have four. - So you have two left, so you have four left. - If you like swing shot by it and like turn away from it, or like... - One, two, three, four.

- Two, three, four. Can I trigger a collision on that? - That's how we've been doing it, which I think is fine. - Can you trigger a collision? - There's no save to get out. - I'm gonna use my bonus action to do-- - You can start your turn to make the save. - To do, yeah, I'm gonna use my bonus action to get 21.

That hits, so I'm going to do 2d6 of the bludgeoning damage as I reach into his aft hole and pull out a T-Rex. 15 points of the bludgeoning to him, sir.

Thank you. And then you're going to eat yourself into his person, right? If I have any movement left, I will ram into him. You say 15 points? Yep, 15 points. And so with the remaining movement... You're out of movement. Can't you pull yourself with the... No, no, no. If successful, I can pull myself to the target using no additional movement. So I'm hoping that I'm grabbing onto him. I'm holding on. If he moves, I'm going to go with him. I am going to monkey onto this motherfucker.

Okay, okay, that's fine. Four? Is gone. Yep. Four just died. Four is dead. Five and six are allowed. So this is gone now, at least how we're ruling it during this session. And I will immediately go forward first. Uh...

All right, buddy. Tell me what's going on and I'm going to scan and so in this AC HP weapons Yeah, he's a CHP and potential weapons better here because like 500 points left Better be in read it cuz we're all coming for that ass AC Yeah, that after come for that act so write this down. AC is 15. Okay and

The weapons are Ruby Blaster Cannon, its main weapon. Its HP produces a number you don't understand.

Yeah, that's good for him. Not bad for us at all. He needs that. What kind of a number is 11D? I'm getting tennis. Alternate reality. Reality altering missiles. He's got some sort of a power drill that breaks reality. Power level. It's over 9,000. Ha ha!

What? 9,000? His whole integrity's off the charts! That's impossible! I don't understand! And I'm going to go, "Pat-choo!" and use my... So that was my first attack, was the scan. My second attack will just be a normal Aetherblast. I can't stop a- I'm gonna use one twist. I'm not gonna- Hey, boomers, remember the train level in Star Fox? Two fives. It was meant to be, I miss.

Okay, you fire those blasts at the ship and they soar, maybe with potential care not to land on the bush who's strapped onto the top now. They soar just beyond him. And it is number five's turn. Top corner. We'll do a six, too. So we need to work them into position. Okay, I'll just go five and then six. Perfect. Five will fly at Kavir, six will fly at

Six to seven, he wants to go home. Both, if they can get there, will fly, and if they can collide, they will die. Yeah, he can. I would like to have him... I would like to dodge. 17 points of fire damage for... Anyway, you said if he can collide with him. Yeah, he can. Damn it. He's right there. Roll very low for me, man.

I'm gonna hit-- hang on. How does this-- 24 points of fire damage per bite. Holy shit!

That's a lot. That was a lot. Are you up? Yeah, I'm good. I'm at negative 12. My ship doesn't do well when it's things that auto-hit. If I can dodge, I have a much better chance of being okay. But my health pool is very tiny. I'm downed. Just turn Kavir's upside down. He doesn't go back to the rhapsody? Just turn it upside down. Oh, he's derelict. He's floating through space. Yeah.

Hoses are compresing into the cockpit. Kabir! Hearing what Rhett has told us, I'm gonna shout back into the comms.

Yeah, well I'm done holding back and I'm gonna move 10 turn 10 turn and I'm gonna fire my solar flare cannon nice one use per day I fire an arcing beam of flame and lightning Radiant that that deals 5d 12 to targets in a line that is 10 feet wide and 50 feet long so

just this absolute pillar of radiant solar flame will pierce, attempt to pierce through the hull of the ship, like going right past Laboosh, but it's not gonna hit him. Pike is taking an energy. Pike uses solar beams! Yeah! Only the sun is out, maybe it's a sunny day and I don't have to charge that shit up. That's gonna be 14 for the first two rolls. Amazing. Plus another eight is 22.

Plus another 10 is 32. 32 points of this solar flare cannon damage. And given that he is rock ground type, that is quadruple effective. That's right. So, with these crystals and temples, you fire out this pillar of flame and lightning as it courses through the air, striking through the hull of this ship. And as you blast this beam out, you'll hear him say,

Like flies to a dragon. And all the ships will spawn back onto the field. Son of a gun. Okay, I had to finish my movement. Here, just take that. I don't want to look at that anymore. I got to move. I did two movement, two, three.

Oh no. They'll pour closer to the, like four more. Towards Andy? Yeah. No, fuck you, five. Unless there's pipe towards Andy. I heard what you really meant. Exactly right. Yeah, I'm going to try to fly away from these things and cross over the middle and get absolutely crushed.

That's my turn. I'm done. And I know I don't have any more solar flare cannons. Do I have a chance to use the comms back to what Pike just said? Yeah. No, you stubborn jackass! We got to get back to the Rhapsody! That's all I have time for.

The Prophet moves forward one. - So you're, and he's still holding on? - He's still holding on. So they will not collide. - Oh no, that's backwards. - Oh, sorry. Oh, he's going this way. - No, no, no, no, no. - Oh, wait. - No, no, he turned around. - Oh, no, you're right, you're right. - No, yeah. - He's going this way. - He will go directly at Dandy.

And if he needs to, he'll sprint. He can turn. A boost. He can probably make it. Well, either way, he can make it if he doesn't need a boost, but it's going to be... His movement is just kind of wonky. He gets there. Yeah, he gets there. I think he's going to ram a motherfucker with another motherfucker at the very least start. Oh, no. He will bonus action grapple. Oh, no. And this is an athletics contest. He's behind me. I can't do anything. I gave him everything I had.

- Twisted. - That's, do I add eight? Or no, it's just straight? - You add eight, I think. - 21. - 26. As giant grappler arms extend out from the side of this ship and grab you by each wing, holding you captive.

No! We're all... Number one. Number one will go. Which one's number one? We'll fly directly at Rhett. We'll fly in between Rhett and Chuckles. Hit their button. He can like ram. It's fine. I can't take him! Yeah. Clever girl! That's what I was waiting for.

You take 22 points of fire damage as they detonate. Shoot her! That was my first damage, but I'm 36. That's impressive. I can't let you do that stuff. I can't redirect shots. I can't redirect explosions. Yeah. Dandy. What can I do being grappled? You may attempt to break free.

- Okay. - Where's Blast Alpha? - It is a, it would be another athletics contest. - Yeah, I wonder if you're facing a beast. - Or yeah, if you choose, you can fire your magma blasts from your mouth and you can just continue to attack, blasting him right in the face. - I'll try to get out. - Okay. - Ooh, 22. - Natural 20.

Goddamn it. He's rolling like hot fire. Holy shit. That's my action. That was your action. I'm going to bonus action Screech.

So he has disadvantage. - Yeah. - And cannot roll reaction. - He's like, "I'm gonna kill you." - What a disaster. - And looking in, I can see like troops running around on a pole. - Two. - Can anybody heal Kvir? - No. Oh God, two is right here. - Just the rhapsody.

Well, two will turn down. If it can get towards Rhett and Chuckles, it will turn. Easy. One, two, three, four, five. Maybe not Chuckles, but definitely Rhett. It will attempt to get to Rhett and detonate. Oh yeah, it certainly does. It certainly does. Oh, man.

19 points of fire damage. Oh god. Should've exploded right over here. 19 points. Oh my god. Okay. Don't worry! Oh, I should've saved my pie.

- You know, Chuck, I never did. - Oh boy. - Chuckle. - I am going to, I'm gonna listen to Rhett and say, we gotta get Kvir, Kvir, do you come in? One, two, three.

Four. Wait. Yeah. Five. And I'm just gonna try to blast this guy because he has Dandy. I can't do anything to help Kavir right now. Blast him. I'm just gonna blast him twice. Oh, God. Do I hear any comms? 19 and 16. Damage? No, no, 10. 19 and 16. Oh, but it's his ass. His AC is 15.

Oh, both hit anyway. Well, I'm gonna roll for the, I'm gonna fish for the... Yeah, that's the point. Okay, no, so both hit. You can hear thumbs. But your ship is just, yeah, your ship is like, describe, you know, like, it's cracked. You're like spinning, your thrusters are out, your energy's at zero. Okay, got it. 25 points of, 25 points.

of damage for my flowers. Does he get affected by your acid? - I think he's affected, yeah. - You blast out the flowers, both hit solidly as huge blasts encounters the hull of the ship. Three?

All the way by Laboosh. By Kavir, sorry. It will go forward. Let's double kill Kavir. And see if it can get to Pike. Oh yeah. Forward by Pike and Laboosh actually. Yeah, five. Yeah, for sure. It turns completely yellow like in Gundam before it blows up. And all the lights and the lines go out. Does this also damage the prophet?

I mean-- Yes. Yes, it would. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Thank you. Also damage the prophet. Damage Dandy, too, 'cause I'm grappling with-- No, no, your shield is by my touch. 26 points of fire damage.

- But it's not Dredd. - What? - It's not Dredd. Instead of a Dredd knight, it's not Dredd. - As the ship is coming in maneuvering and looking like it's going to detonate, I hear the message from Rhett come through about saying, "No, jackass, we have to get back to the map city." And I fire back into the mic, "Listen, Rhett, he's got her. We can't go back yet. I'm not going!" And a hole rips in the side of the sparrow as all comms break.

and pieces of the sparrow jettison out into space and the comms cut off, you can no longer hear what I was saying and then I'm done. Holy mackerel. They're like the side shot from the Saiyan song. I just rewatched that. Oh my god. Ice cream, briefly. I attempt to rip this ship a new one.

I am just straddling this thing. I am also falling apart. I'm scorching the material that's holding my ship together. You can see what would look like blood in space, like dripping ooze coming out, like this translucent green material. But I am still slamming down and slamming down. I am going to put two juicers and my...

bonus action unstoppable approach on all of this. And I'm going to need one twist. Would the thrusters, because he has to keep moving though, right? So is there anything to resolve it?

I'm grapple. I actually think that as a part of your thing, you don't have to keep moving. I think that's written on your sheet. Yeah, that's actually a good point. That makes sense. That made a lot more sense. You're not like flying through space. Yeah, because you don't have like boosters that are constantly, you're not flying a plane, you're like you're a person. So I'm just the suit that attempts to fight in Age of Ultron. And I am

Robert, the lowest I got was a 16. That's right. 16. 16 more. Okay. That's going to be this amount of E10s and this number of D6s. And we're going to go 6, 11, 20, 26, 35, plus 16, 25.

51. 51. I do 51 points of physical damage as I hold the hold back. It's the scene from Ghost in the Shell when she's trying to actually lift the top of the fucking turret off of the tank. It just fell. And then...

She rips that off and then I go in there. I'm throwing dino people out. I'm looking for the captain's quarters to see if I can find and crush this fucking T-Rex. You...

and I'll resolve this in turn. But before you start attacking, when you look where you had previously say, we'll say that you'd seen him piloting the ship, he is no longer in that seat. And as you slam and crash and punch into the hull, and you're about to throw a final punch to crack open, it opens of its own accord. And it is number four's turn.

What? Four is, yeah. Going for red or I assume not. Probably red. Four will go for red. Come on, come on, come on. That's smart so it doesn't roll low. Roll low, roll low, roll low, roll low. These are rolling pretty good. This is 17.

17 points of fire damage. Can I roll that against me? I'm not complaining. For the old ones! Okay, 77 plus 7 is... Oh man, would my...

Would my ship have, like, a crane or anything on it? Like, uh... Like, grabbers or anything to kind of... Like...

Like jet ship. You know what I mean? I think you would have kind of like, well, you have a giant cannon. Yeah, I think you would have a crane arm, maybe from like underneath, so you could like salvage and get to the end. Yeah, salvage arm. Yeah, I'm thinking this is like a heavily modified barge that I took from my time in Grand Corps and just threw cannons all over it.

Garge Simpson. Eat my shorts. So I have to go here. I'm going to turn here. If I can try to collect the sparrow with my crane, however that works. As an action. Yeah, as an action, I guess. I would say...

Oh, you get free object interaction. Nice. Do I see-- With a acrobatics check. Finessing it. If you beat a 14, it's free. Oh, OK. I can't see it. Oh, man. Kevir is down with two guys right next to him. Can I add my space vehicle proficiency to this? Sure. OK.

16. It's a free object interaction to pick up Pike. Nice. Pike, you okay, buddy?

I'm going to grab the sword fit, or the pieces of the sparrow. I would say you'd be able to get the cockpit, and the wings are gone, the nose is ripped off, the weapons are off. Whatever the main cockpit is. You can grab the only remaining chunk that contains Pike, and you just grab it. And I'm going to use my action to boost towards the rhapsody.

Which would be in which direction? This way. Back this way. So where did I go? I was here. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And I'll say, LaBouche, you gotta grab Dandy if you can.

Try to... Do we have a tractor beam on the Rhapsody? I don't even know if it'll work. I don't...

That's how we ruled the getting knocked out last time, but I don't know if it's part of it here. You just autopiloted back to the Rhapsody. Or however. I gotta pee off! Yeah, when you hit zero, you just flew back to the Rhapsody. I don't think you tried that. Something different is happening here, clearly. And it might be because of the detonations. I'm going to, in the comms, I'll say, Labouche, grab Dandy. We gotta get back. That's it.

Five and six. Five is near me. I'm between five and six, yeah. They will both fly towards Chuckles. Oh shit. One, two, three, four, five.

One. Oh! You're getting the shit started. I'm looking here. It's not getting any closer. What's going on? So, uh, oh, you're like in the middle of a bunch of squares. Yeah, I don't know where you were. So they can boost. Oh, yeah, 'cause if the explosion doesn't count as an action, they can just boost. If they can get to you, they will both get there. And they can both do it by boosting. Yes.

Easily. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh! This is very bad. In an ironic twist, one of the ships pulls out a tiny little forward and it goes, Ah-hoo-ga! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

32 points of fire damage. Oh, I'm still alive! Whoa! Holy shit. Yeah, that was always... Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!

Seltzer water is spraying out. Your ship takes the silhouette of a human, like bends out of the way like a cartoon character. Yeah, yeah. Dodging the explosions. The little girl on your dash is frowning. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Laboosh, as you wail on the ship, the hull opens.

And you lean back for just a moment as slowly the prophet ascends out of it. He is wearing the same mantle of feathers with a gemmed necklace around him now.

He has leathers that wrap about his legs, but otherwise unclothed. At his side, he has a giant two-faced ruby gem maul. He looks at you on the ship, and he says, You still don't understand. We are not the same.

and he'll strike at you with the maul. With the maul? That's the baddest thing that's ever happened to this campaign. He's going to send him a line. 2060.

He's gonna fucking send you to the Shadow Realm. Yeah. I don't think he has time to do this. I fucking grabbed his tiny little ass and crushed him like a can. You can actually see that as he rises from the ship, he is a little bit bigger than you in your armor. Damn. Okay.

I think to myself for a moment, trying to think of something badass to say. We're a non-profit organization. Not good enough, Laboose, come on. You're like, you can't get it. You take 22 points of bludgeoning damage. That knocks me out. Oh!

I'll take it on the bottom of the chin of my hulking armor and I just from the front of the ship floating out into space suddenly completely immobile. As he grabs the maul, it glows with that same ruby light. He swings it up as-- If that was physical damage, I had 10 hit points left, it would have been 11.

- It was physical damage, yeah. - He swings it up as the ruby light of the maul crashes into your chin. You float back from the ship, powerless in the sea of space. He walks forward slowly, finishing his movement along the hull of his own ship until he gets to the front

to where Dandy is held within the arms of the ship. He reaches out with the maw and he points it towards Dandy. The ruby light of the gems begins to resonate. You shift back from your pterodactyl form. You shift into your normal form. The ruby light of the maw

begins to resonate with you. You glow with an awesome power and it begins to turn your form ruby red. As your shape begins to change once again, you grow a darkened crown. A long black cloak of thorns emanates from your shoulders as it stretches off behind you. And he says,

I came to awaken the Archon of Destruction so that the Saurian race could reclaim the stars. I have regained consciousness at this point in time to see Laboosh's form in the ship coming at me and seeing what's happening with Dandy. And I quickly look to see if I can see if Laboosh is conscious still and...

I think I'm just derelict, having disabled the arms I've suctioned in and whatnot, but the armored, the normal armor, Labouche is still in the chest, looking around, frustrated, trying to decide what his next move is going to be. So I catch eyes with Labouche, and without saying anything, he can tell that something drastic's about to happen, and I take the hourglass and I rip it open.

And until now, you've only seen me use a fraction of the sand in it. And so I rip it open. My hair blows out. Two giant dials appear behind me. They're bronze in color. A clock of sorts. You hear, even in space, you can hear this. The tattoo's glowing. I pull my arms back and move, and you hear me in a language that none of you understand. Das toi ist amon.

And then... As you watch Kvir do this, erupting from his form like a cascade, a terrible tidal wave of sand,

seven enormous, 12 enormous, almost like hydra heads, cascade towards Dandy as the energies swirl and creep and reach out and they blast towards the ship. As they get there, attempting to turn back the sands of time to prevent the change of Dandy.

As they strike you and the prophet, for a moment, he is stunned. For a moment, the red energy is fallen back to the bronze of the sands. Until the ticking. And you hear the words, time runs out for us all. And the red energy snaps back.

I look at Kvir in my form with the crown and the cape and I say, "You meddle with powers you do not understand, but I do." Erupting back along the strands of sand, they fracture and they shake and they fall apart as tendrils of ruby energy erupt from Dandi's form.

They meet you as they battle back at you, shattering the dial at your back. The Archon is awoken. Leave the insects to the swarm. And the Prophet and Dandy fly away towards the temple ship. You watch as they board. As they turn back, you see them look out at you one final time.

as the platform of the temple ship rises up and they disappear. Six more ships spawn on the field and they head towards everyone. One final approach. They fly in each member of the swarm seeking your ships as you attempt to flee, as you are derelict in the wastelands of space. They are but moments from you.

when suddenly they explode into roses. The temple disappears and Quiet returns to space. - Hank, Hank, help! Come get us! - And I'm gonna be slowly kind of working my way. I have Pike. I'm gonna hopefully meet Hank in the hangar bay while the Rhapsody comes to try to collect the wreckage of

everyone that's left. The Rhapsody spins around in its own battle with members of the Swarm. As you look out, you see the shattered wreckage of probably 90 ships that the Rhapsody was taking on itself as just shrapnel cascades through the air. It swoops around and Hank pulls

pulls up, extending the hanger to you. As everyone who tries moves into the bay, with the exception of Kvir. - I would, with my ship still going, I would see

- Labouche, still like being, still trying to, he's fine. And I see the ruby blast that Kvir's ship took. And so I'm going to just scuttle on over to where I think the ship was, if there's any kind of wreckage. I'm gonna try to find Kvir. Kvir! Danny left us! Kvir, are you okay? What was that? Kvir! - You find him in the wreckage of the Echo.

You feel like you can tow him back to the Rhapsody. I will, a large gloved hand, if I can do this, would basically hopefully be able to grab Kvir and then grab Laboosh and pull them back slowly. You tug along slowly, but with great purpose as you bring your fallen comrades Laboosh and Kvir back to the Bay of the Rhapsody.

You dock in the hangar bay. Come on! We need medic! I think we need a medic! I'm okay! I'm okay! Are you guys okay? You're downed off! The second that you would have gotten my wreckage, the remaining little bits of my cockpit that are now in the ship, I would have tried to loose myself and get it open, and I'd probably stumble out, and I'd be pretty beat up, and I'd grab my side, and I'd say, uh,

What the hell was that? Why? Why? I'm fine. Check on Tavir. I'll be running down the gangplank as you're getting out. Are you sure you're okay? Get the fuck over here. And I grab you and I stick you with a large sort of medpack.

with a sharp needle casting Cure Wounds. I'm fine, but they got her. They took her. I couldn't stop them. There's nothing we can fucking do about that. We promised her. We promised her that nothing would happen. I know we promised her, Pike. I know we did. Damn it!

Come here! Look, fix him! Fix him! And so there'll be a large hand that'll gently... Are you coming back to the... I think I've probably come back. And you'll see the clown car very slowly puttering. Brr!

just dragging the cracked, derelict mech suit of Labouche and dragging him in and probably maybe using the motion to kind of throw him into the hangar and then very gently taking the large gloved cartoon figure

Bugs Bunny-like hand, I guess with four fingers, gently holding Kvir and placing him down as I will try to very softly drop Kvir onto the deck of the floor of the hangar as I will then go to my docking station and the hand will retract

Both hands will retract as I land and slot in, and I'll try to basically press all the buttons, and there's all sorts of fizzing as I'm trying to bang and get the hatch open on the saucer. What the fuck happened? I want to run up to Kavir if I can.

I'll manually force the chest plate open, but I don't wait to get my boots and my gauntlets and my chest plate, my head helmet through. At the moment that there's a crease, you will see the ooze that I am and my eyes forcibly, amorphably push it out and through and juice down and then without

the structure of my armor being what it is, just sort of slot forward and start to race over towards the direction where I think Kavir is. You do so. Anyone who would be heading there can get to the Echo. Rhett, you're able to punch, kick, slam on the hull, and click open the cockpit. And inside, you would be the first to see Kavir. He looks...

30 years older than you remember seeing him when he entered the ship. And he coughs. He doesn't cough up blood, but sand. Oh no. What did you do? I pull him out if I can and get him on the ground. You do? Can you speak? Are you okay? And you'd be able to get there at this point? Come here. What did you do? I had to

You'll see one of the

larger sort of tools switch to a huge needle and basically pierce Kvir in the chest. And I'm gonna try to use Spear of the Dying to try to stop this in some way, knowing that this is probably way beyond the medical or healing nature of Aether.

I'll finally be able to wrench the dome off of the saucer and I'll leap into the air and a little red balloon, I'll try to basically coast over to close the distance and just stand over and see Rhett just trying all of his machines on Kabir and just take a step back, feeling completely helpless. 'Cause I'm gonna like very clearly be hesitating as I see he's surrounded by Labouche and Rhett. Is he okay?

What does Spare the Dying do? Oh no, it's reloading. D&D Beyond, folks. Uh, spells. I touch a living creature that has zero hit points. The creature becomes stable. The spell has no effect on undead or constructs. That's all it says. You pierce your needle into Kevir's chest and it sinks in and you pump in the ether. And for a brief moment, Rhett, you hear the ticking of a clock.

By the gods. Talk. And it's at that moment that from the needle point, Kavir's chest begins to cave in as he is beginning to turn to dust. No. Oh, I just stepped back. Kavir, don't go. Time runs out for all of us, my friend. Make the most of yours. I've...

Enjoyed every second with you. I can't go through this without you, please. You can. You can. You've learned so much. You're the best. You taught me how to speak. You taught me how about the world. And you disappear into sand as you're cast away into the endless void of space. And that is rolling the session. Damn. Ah!

That was heavy. I need these for a little while. Wow. Lubush will repeat what he repeated in common this time, what he said at Ra's funeral. Even the flowers hang their head when it gets dark. Jesus.

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