Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 44 | Mushroom Samba
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Welcome to Legends of Aventress! Torbec's name is Torbec and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight! Here's what happened last time! Why have we all become turned into mushrooms? Hey guys, Torbec's a big hairy mushroom.

- I need to help you for a price. - I'll take whatever you want. - Unfortunately, the move, so the directions that I gave you will change shortly. - You can have as much fire as you want. - Here you are, just as promised. I can't guarantee the pixies are still about, but this is where they were last. - You watch as one, two, three pixies spill out from behind it. - Is this a singing episode?

Granny Nightshade's been messing with those fairy circles. I can go ahead and help you for a price. All of you return to your normal form. Yay! We gotta do our part of the deal, yeah? You're making the car for Stuart smells amazing.

All right, well, you need some information. We're in severe debt. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, you might want to go see Ned. What are you talking about? His name's not Ned, it's Nib. He's an old miser that lives in a cave off in the forest somewhere. It might be kind of hard to find. Who's Granny Nightshade? Is it another hag we have to worry about? Is he ignoring me? It's just what we call Scabith the Nightshade. Scabith! His cave is just filled with gold and magical items

Do you know if he has any weaknesses or fears? He wears a blindfold so he can't see. There are fairy circles all over the... If it's done correctly, it will teleport you to the material plane that is connected to that particular fairy circle. This is not where you had fallen asleep the night before. And they are clearly not the trees or even the forest you had been in the night before.

You've spent your first day in Thither, and it was not quite what you had expected. You've found yourself in a place unlike any you have ever been before. Your faithful companion Twig has now completely reverted to her puppet form. You have experienced what it's like to live as the musical campestry folk that

exist in this place. And you have met with a couple of bubbly pixies that helped you in your journey and gave you the information that you need. And it was here at the camp of these pixies over a nice piping hot bowl of coral fish stew that you learned about two paths that lead you deeper into Thither. You've learned about Nibb.

the gold spinner that lives in a cave somewhere within Dither, as well as the fairy rings that dot the land, some of which have been twisted and warped by Granny Nightshade, but some that still apparently function and could potentially get you back to the Material Plane should you choose to return home. And it was with these thoughts that you laid down for bed in the comfort of your new companionship,

It is with this new knowledge that you lay down and find yourselves drifting off into a peaceful sleep. And as you awake, you are no longer in the same place that you had fallen asleep in. The pixies are nowhere to be found. And something that had been said to you lingers at the edges of your mind. That this place moves. That it twists and it turns. How that happens, you're unsure. And where that places you in this

gigantic ancient forest you're unsure of. But you find yourselves in a small grove atop a beautiful purple grass. The trees themselves, the wood, a dark plum with swirling etchings in the bark as the trees reach up towards the sky to leaves of lilac and lavender that slowly drift down and

graze across your skin, almost like weeping willows. You look through this space and you can see the way that the light streaks in from the sun as it fills this glade with a soft warmth, a morning warmth. And you listen out, you can no longer hear the sounds of the rushing water from the river. You are very clearly not in the same place that you had been in. But it's at least beautiful for now.

Well, we're clearly not in the same place where you went to sleep. What in the hell? What is this? Oh, jeez. Are we sure? I mean, it's possible it was just morning. Do you see a river anywhere, Gideon? No. I don't believe that we are anywhere close to where we started off before we slumbered. What, you think somebody picked us up and moved us here? No, I...

My gut tells me that the forest shifted around us. Stupid forest. Nothing here is ever easy. I mean, do we think the pixies are gone too? Pixies! The pixies.

Hello, we have more caulfish stew over here. If you come help us, tell us where to go. Do we have enough to do the stew? You say that and you see that the rock that was at that very cool 45 degree angle and the campfire beneath it is gone. That was part of the forest that you are no longer in. Cowslip, cowslip specifically. I should not hear either. What are the other ones? Classic. Maypole.

Maypole. Maypole also specifically, don't feel good, don't feel all left out. And the other one. Spider Lily. Spider Lily. Spider Lily. Do you guys think that it's weird that the pixies aren't here too? If everything else is moving, shouldn't they have still been here? Perhaps the

have control over where they stay? Perhaps they chose to be taken or moved with the forest? What if it's because we're not from here? That's a good hypothesis. I think we should go with that actually. That's very smart, Torbeck. Oh, like an invasive species? Like, feathers fighting back against us being here? Yeah. And then we're probably gonna get like a horrible disease.

The disease? No, they would perceive us as the disease. Some large white blood cells would suddenly show up and start attacking us and we would have no chance of survival. Oh no. Speak for yourself. The war of the worlds. Oh no. Well, I mean, I guess we just gotta move on. We gotta find Nib! The guy who did that, like, created a housing crisis with Mr. Guru, apparently.

Yeah, I guess we do. I mean, we have a couple leads. Can we steal all of his gold? I mean, they... That's a good point. Yeah, I think they were trying to tell us he had enough gold to pay off all our debt. We might not have to do anything else. Just, I mean, he's like, you know, can't see us coming, can't hear us coming. It's there for the taking, Grammy. You don't refer to someone as a gold-visor without them having a tremendous amount of gold. Well, didn't they say that they're using the gold to, like, torture him horribly? Gold's probably all cursed.

I will say what you remember, because it was a week, is that they told you that what he had done was he had become very greedy and had utilized his connections with Garou and the properties that he owned to swindle people out of their money, and he ended up ruining a lot of lives. When he came to the Feywild, he was overwhelmed with his own emotions, and the guilt that he felt was the one that came to the forefront.

He went to Granny Nightshade and asked to have that guilt removed from him, and she trapped him in a cave, and all of the money that he had, he has to spin into magical items and into gold pieces and give them away for free until every last bit of wealth that he has is gone. In the meantime, the specters of those that he had destroyed haunt him, so he wears a blindfold so as not to have to see them.

So he can hear, and he can see just fine. He chooses not to. Well, depending on how long he's been there, he might have gone through most of the gold already.

Who's he giving it away to? People in the Feywild, they don't give a fuck about gold. Maybe it's the principle of the matter. He's turning it into stuff. He's turning it into magic items. He has a gigantic pile of gold that he's spinning into magical items. It would be the magical effects they'd be interested in. All that bartering stuff around here, you know, for like silver pieces, well, like silver chess pieces and spools of thread. Or a witty jaunt.

Or something metaphorical. Perhaps he takes requests. I imagine that any fey creature would be delighted to be able to imbue some magical item with some fanciful or whimsical ability or impact. That would charm anyone I've met so far here, I imagine.

Well, we have no idea where he is besides being in a cave, right? I mean, maybe a cave's generally like in like mountains or hills, right? So we can maybe, I don't know if we can... Or ridges. Get above the trees if anybody wants to volunteer and take a look. Here's... We need to figure out how to navigate this place reliably and consistently. That's going to be very difficult. I would...

Spend hours, perhaps, coming up with instruments of measurement, thinking about how the sun position is. Finding ways to perhaps create a compass.

But I don't think that that would be a very worthwhile effort. Does anyone agree? I think Rico's spoken for everyone. Tormek's only real concern is if we don't get somewhere before we fall asleep, we might be right back at square one! There's that.

We could be returned to the same spot, or we could be put anywhere else within Fither. Well, my concern is that even if you've got information, do we have enough reference points for you to triangulate where the fuck we are and where the fuck we're going? That's exactly my point. If we can't measure using the mortal planes instrumentation, there has to be some way to navigate the space that eludes us. You're talking about measuring in cheeseburgers?

Something like that. Something emotional, something whimsical will do the trick. Ooh, let's do cheeseburgers, though. Torbjorn, put lava in cheeseburgers. Gideon, did you say cheeseburgers? Oh, Twig? Twigsy, is that you? I thought you were inanimate and lost all your puppet magic. Something doesn't feel right here, Gideon. What do you mean? What's going on?

But then I feel twig. Well, we've moved into Thither here and you haven't been responding ever since we crossed-- I could hear everything you were saying, but it was like I was inside of a-- Oh, that doesn't make any sense! What? It doesn't make any sense! Why?

That sounds like locked-in syndrome, don't it? That's fucking Batman. What about it doesn't make sense? What if that happened to me at the dentist once? I'm feeling really dizzy. Me too, actually. That's weird.

Are you saying that you were lucidly aware but unable to control your body the entire time we were traveling yesterday? No, my name's not Lucy, I'm Twig. I've been gone for 24 hours, nor have I forgot who I am. He's not very good at remembering things. You can't hold it against him.

He's so sad. He's constantly getting names wrong. It's the opposite of that. That hurts my feelings. No, no, he just doesn't think you're important is all. That's not what-- Lucidly is the word I'm using. Lucidly, as in lucid. Yeah, we got to go save Zendaya from the palace. What are you talking about? The palace of hearts and desires. Zendaya. Oh, you mean the palace of hearts Zendaya? The palace of hearts Zendaya. The palace. Where the world ends. The palace.

- Limits of hearts and dire. - Oh boy. - Do you feel like you are fading in and out of your puppet state? - Didn't I just say that, Gideon? He hates me so much he doesn't know my name. He's not even listening to the words I'm saying. - I'm asking, I'm trying to get a sense of why you think this might be happening. - Frost, don't listen, okay?

He's a real bitch. Hey, hey, come on. Don't say things that are funny. I'm not saying anything about frosting. Yeah, come on. Don't worry, he can't hear me. I told him not to listen. No, but he doesn't listen to people directing him to do things very well. He's not nice to me. You know how many times I've tried to tell him to go to bed and he just doesn't do it? I heard everything, Twig. You are such a bitch! I told you not to think!

I try to be nice to you. When have I been mean to you? You turned me in. I killed people for you. She got a boy. And you can't even remember

That was a different Frost. That wasn't my fault. I was under the sway of the Feywild. You sort of manipulated her into a cult and convinced her to kill at least two to five Bullywugs. And bury them in the muck. Oh, you did feast upon her blood with your tiger fangs. Yeah, and you told me you were going to turn me into a Dracula. I can't be held responsible for when I'm under the influence of the Fey. Really? Yes.

I don't think that holds up in court. No, no, that's a pretty fair argument. Well, it might hold up in goblin court. You know, it depends on the legal system at play. Yeah. Anyone else feeling really stiff this morning? Yeah, Judge Kangaroo Jack is. I got a woody. Yeah. What? I'm all woody. Does she still have the roses in her eyes? Yeah.

That's concerning. Well, look, why don't you just rest up? Seems like there's nothing we can do about your predicament. And Torbeck, get up the tree. I'm feeling... Oh, Mr. Crabby, please! It's only at least 3,000 or 4,000 cheeseburgers tall. Can you imagine if we had 3,000 or 4,000 cheeseburgers around there? Torbeck, do you want to try some?

Uh, Tormek will try anything once. Come over here, let me touch you. Okay. Tormek hasn't had that happen for a long time. Tormek is touch star.

Here comes Torbjorn! Torbjorn, keep your pants on! I just need to see your face! No, it's just Torbjorn's loose bow! Torbjorn's not a pervert, I promise! Torbjorn will reach out a hand and kind of like-- No, no, let me see your face! Torbjorn's face? Oh, okay.

Twig puts both of her hands on either side of your face. You can feel the coldness of the wood pressed up against your face as she gets very, very close to you. Where her eyes should be, you see these two painted blue roses. As she gets close to you, she blows into your face and she goes, "Fly!" Do I feel like I can fly? You immediately feel yourself lift off the ground a little bit.

This is not the first time that Torbek has flown. So hopefully he can start to get the hang of it a little bit better, a little bit more stable. Whoa!

"Tormek will be right back!" Just immediately takes off the white toe ring and begins to-- Ow! You hear Tormek's like-- You're just hitting trees. Crash, crash! I need everyone to roll a dexterity saving throw for me, please. He hit every ugly branch on the way up. That's pretty funny. That's pretty good. Oh, that's quite good.

21. Seven. Oh, I should roll for twig, too. How long does his flight spell last? An hour. Oh, thank goodness. Ah, 16! If Torbek isn't back in an hour, he will be. You watch as Torbek rockets through the canopy of trees, and as he does, branches break and snap and begin just showering the glade with

broken branches and leaves and birds' nests and a veritable of things. Everyone is able to dodge out of the way except for Gideon, who is smacked on the back of the head by a large-- Doing six points of damage. I was hoping that the jeep from Jurassic Park was going to fall out.

I think it's still that reference. Torbek, you are able to pierce through the canopy of trees, and as you do, you find yourself looking over a large, sprawling ancient forest in front of you. You can see

small groves that dot the land for miles and miles. And in these are circles of giant multicolored mushrooms, which are clearly the fairy circles that you had

that had been mentioned to you. And as you're up here, you look from one to the next, trying to determine the difference between those that have been corrupted by Granny Nightshade and those that haven't, but they all look exactly the same. All of them are beautiful and vibrant and large. In some of them, you do see what appears to be movement, as if they're occupied in some way. Others seem to be completely vacant.

But you continue to look out over this land. You see snaking rivers that pierce through the trees. You do see mountains that dot the land. All the while, a thick fog encircles this entire place. You realize that you are at the very beginning, the very edge, the most northern part of Thither, looking north through all of this.

And so you look to the west in an attempt to see back into Hither and to see how things are going there, but the entire place is shrouded in fog. All you can see is this land that you're in now. You notice towards the middle there's a large, what appears to be a lake with a small island in the very center.

Stretching even further north, you see what appears to be a giant oak tree, absolutely massive, stretching hundreds of feet into the sky, towering far above everything else. And almost halfway through Thither, you see a similar tree, much larger, probably the largest tree that's ever been in Thither ever. But instead of reaching towards the sky, it has fallen to the side. Oh shit.

It's been felled? It has been felled. Completely surrounded by what appears to be gardens and ramshackle buildings. There are lights. Evie, you can see, even at this time of day, light shining inside of carved and hollowed out windows. And it is immediate, it's immediately clear to you that this is Loom Lurch. This is the place that you have been told is the lair of Granny Nightshade.

this hollowed out oak that she lives in. But from this vantage point, you can see that this is not simply a house. This isn't like what you encountered in Hither. This is a city that has built up around this tree. Okay. And there are clearly others that live here.

at least outside and around it. And for the most part, that is what you see. - So, I would assume that Torbek would be able to relay the information that you've given him back to the gang.

but Torbek would like to attempt to-- Yeah, you have your ascending chess pieces, ascending pawns. But Torbek would like to try his best to basically orient this mental image and commit it to memory.

and in an attempt to-- he's aware that the forest moves or something. Torbjorn's not very smart, but he wants to do his best to try to help the gang by, when he gets back to the ground, have an understanding of where things are to the best of his ability. Roll an intelligence check to see how well you can commit this to memory.

Ooh, with a plus zero, I got a 15. That's good enough. You feel like you will be able to give them

a really nice approximation of where everything is. It won't be as detailed as you saw it, but you'll be able to describe all of the landmarks and their rough approximation in this place. Okay, then I would, Torvek feeling like he's done what he can do, would return, fly back down to the forest floor more gently than he flew up.

and relay all of this information to his friends, and with the approximation to the best of his ability of where things are and headings and which direction we'll be going. He'd explain it badly and probably be drawing in the dirt with a horrific claw, but he would be trying to convey that to the best of his ability. I'll draw what he draws, actually on paper so that it's not stuck in the ground. And just for my own-- Roll a performance check. --mental knowledge, we're at the north

Furthest south. Here? South. Here? Furthest south. Oh, furthest south. Oh. Oh, we're down here? Yes, you're at the very bottom portion of the mountain. Oh, okay. Oh. So he was looking north, not south? Yes. Okay. Okay. I understood. I did not understand. I thought, yeah. First of all--

Speaking of bad French accents, I was watching-- and bad singing-- I was watching the Beauty and the Beast live action the other night. And yeah. That's all. Never seen it. I really like it. There are just some things I'd change.

Break a break, Torbeck. This is Little Green calling in. Major Tor. Major Tor. Do we have columns open? Torbeck is standing right here. No, when you hear the response that's coming from the pawn piece, it's Torbeck screaming and the sound of branches and crashing as I'm descending back to the forest floor. It's pure calamity coming out of the speaker. Big Brown.

"Oh, big brown go in and hide!" And then when I land, I would relay all of that information to Frost to the best of my ability and hopefully see how his performance-- A 15 for the map making copy.

So yeah, you are able to land, you explain everything that you saw, and Frost is able to make a rough approximation of the map. It looks pretty good. The only problem was that Frost got a little bit too caught up in the details. And so as you were describing things, his attempt to do the math

made it so that the first quarter of the map looks pristine. Then as he was trying to catch up with everything else that you were saying, it starts to get increasingly worse. Happy birthday. That's what I'm going with. Well, I think we have at least what we can go on

for another day or two. If Twig, you can do that, then we can continue to check in on a regular basis the same way. - I can do it a couple of times, but I can't do a lot a lot. I feel really tired. - Do you think you would be able to do it once per day in the morning? - What about the Lily pad? - If I'm awake in the morning, for sure. - Is there anything that you feel like you need in order to maintain your Twigness?

The blood of the innocent. Oh, we could probably find that. I'm kidding! I don't drink blood. I'm not a vampire. I don't think we knew you were going to drink it. I mean, it's assumed you'd maybe want to smear it around yourself. Like a reagent of some kind. Like a nice wood polish. Yeah. Have you ever seen the red violin? Do you think I need to polish myself?

"Well, everyone needs to polish their wood every now and again." No, I think you look just fine, Trey. I don't think you need to at all. Okay. I mean, no. Wouldn't that make me very red? What if I'm not a brownie anymore? What if I'm a redcap? Then we'll go from Tolbeck's nickname to Gideon's codename. Lil Red. Oh, you could be Lil Red, too. Can I be? You could be Lil Red.

I like that. We got the blue roses, I mean, we got-- Little red-riding dead. I don't like that. No. Maybe something else. Come on! Maybe just something. Maybe something else, probably. But I'm riding on your shoulders. Well, but you know, it's not-- No. Just maybe something else. That name is so good, we should just keep it to ourselves. What about Twigsy? You like that one, right? Okay, I mean.

Hey, should we mark the trees or something? I mean, what if we go to bed and everything flips us all around again? Do you think that maybe-- hmm, no, never mind. I'm hesitant to scar the forest in any way. It might actually act upon us. What if we just stay awake? They're just fucking trees, right?

There was a living mound of a hill that we talked to in Hither. Yeah, but he immediately was like, "Oh, hey, I'm here. "Don't fuck with me. "I have wacky little feet. "Like these trees." Do you think that there's a reason that we're here right now?

Yeah, it's to find a hag and, you know, steal some paintings. Oh, did you see any caves while you was up there? We gotta go find Nib and steal all of his stuff. No caves were related to Torvac. Rivers? Torvac has rivers for days, but no caves. So we were along one of these and now looking at the map that you did.

Look at one of these rivers. That must have been where we started. Maybe over here, because it's closest. And then we got...

move down here somewhere? That's incredibly insightful and seems to check out. I am going to do some calculations and see if there's a relationship between the places we wake up each morning. I also think that it makes sense for us to think about the relationship we have with these milestones and see if they themselves are moving each morning, if we can. There may be a pattern, but we won't know until we've been here for some time.

And we don't have much time to spend. Don't forget that we have a time limit and a number of days. - Oh, Graco, are you okay? You're growing an awful lot at Frost today. - Is everything all right? - Patterns and like, oh, let's study it. Let's go, let's go. Tour bank thinks that Frost is trying to help. - Who has time for that? - Who has time for that? Just let's look for a cave. - I'm done now.

Nib! Nib! We're the ghosts of all those kids and women and children whose lives you've ruined with your housing crisis. You better tell us or else we're going to haunt you even double extra. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Well, hold on. Instead of moving blindly, based on Frost and Torbeck's map,

To the northeast, there's a fairy circle there, and we know that that's where some of those mushroom people live. It was really hard to tell if any of them were corrupted. They all looked exactly the same to Torbjorn. Well, don't we now know how we just need to walk through them, and as long as they're not corrupted...

Isn't there like a word we can say? You don't remember, and they didn't tell you what the corrupted meant outside of the fact that it was more difficult to travel through them. It seemed like the fairy circles could still be used potentially, even if they were corrupted, and what that meant, you're not sure. If they're uncorrupted, however, you do know that it means that you could travel back to the Material Plane.

and the pixies even gave you the tools to maneuver it. Now they-- Oh, that's right. She wins and the Calico Codacoldrons are made of dewy. That's exactly right. Three turns with her shins and off you go. You would--

walk in a circle three times, Wittershins say the words within the circle, but that there was, and you needed to hold a wand or a rod or something high into the air, and that there was one other thing about it that they couldn't quite remember, but they didn't think it was that important.

"That certainly won't bite us, yes. "Torbek is very concerned that if we accidentally "use a corrupted circle, we'll explode into blood and viscera." What I will say is they did tell you that once you got there, it would be easy to tell whether they were corrupted or uncorrupted. That's right. This is a square. This isn't a circle at all. But from a distance, it was very difficult for you to tell.

Well, why don't we just walk forward until we find some of the bunch of magical items? This guy's just giving stuff away. I'm with Cremie. I think we should pick a cardinal direction. North! No, I think-- Northeast. Look at all these mountains. The cave could be in any of these mountains, but we know that there's a fairy crossing not too far from here. It's the nearest mountain. To the northeast. So I'd rather have some kind of hidden besides just wandering. They did tell you that the fairy circles worked both ways.

Then let's go to the first fairy circle! What are we? All right. Now everyone just remember, keep the sun on your right until noon, and then slightly more left. Yeah, what he said. I'll lead the way. Before we go, do we maybe want to look around the place we woke up?

Oh, we didn't do that already? Oh, God. You guys are slacking. We've all just been staring here, looking at our feet. Look around! My toe's looking a little green. I was distracted by Torbjorn flying into the air and hitting all the branches. Oh, I found the jeep from Jurassic Park. I don't get this reference.

I don't understand! We did not plan it, Rusty! You can keep making jeep sounds, but I don't get it. Is the scene in Jurassic Park where-- I have not seen Jurassic Park since I was three. Oh, let's rewatch it now.

All right. Oh, bye! Put it on stream. Coming out! We got to go see a movie. See you guys. Don't worry about it. So you're not going to explain it now? In Jurassic Park, one of the jeeps falls through a tree bridge. So you are going to explain it now? It gets knocked off the thing, it tumbles down the thing and it falls into a tree and Sam Neill has to rappel down and he's like,

Come on, just give me your hand, I know you're scared. Come on, he sees the tree, he sees the other jeep coming, he's like, okay, okay, come on, come on, hurry up now, I know, I know you're scared, and he's just like, and Samuel's like, come on, and he pulls out, and then he moves, and he goes, propels this way, and the jeep falls down, and he hits the other jeep, and they both go crashing all the way down, and they look at each other, and they're like, we're okay, and then the end of the movie, you see all that gusaurus in the trees, and it's like, oh, it's so gentle and nice, because it's an herbivore. And they pet it, I think. Na, na, na.

And then a really bad prosthetic Samuel L. Jackson arm. He's like, oh, it's you. Oh, the prop we had to save money on. That was a super last minute change. Wasn't Chris Bratt in that movie? No.

Jimmy Buffett was also in that movie. Confirm me again and I'll keep mentioning Chris Pratt. Wait, in the first Jurassic World? No, in the remake. No, I don't know. First Jurassic World. I was like, bullshit, I've never heard of that in my life. Are you trying to calm the velociraptors? You don't talk about that. See, I get that one. All right, all right. So what you're saying is we do find the jeep from Jurassic Park.

Well, yeah, now that I know where it came from. In half, I get it. Spare dark spends. What is this? No, roll a group investigation check. Yeah! What die should I use? That's not really mad. Torbjörn's back, a lot too. Dammie's back. I will enjoy a 22. Oh, I have advantage!

Why do I have advantage? On what? On investigation checks. Oh, probably because Bloodhunter stuff. You're stepping it up. I got a 14 instead of a 3. Let's go. 15. Beautiful. 12. Investigation. Oh, investigation. It's like a 15. Oh, group investigation check is easy. I need one of you to roll a d8. I got you. Thank you.

A four. A four, perfect. You need some of these characters in Dune to be on. You, at Twig's suggestion, you begin to investigate this glade that you found yourself awaking in, and the question that you had, why aren't the pixies here with us? Why is it just us? Is not answered. However, you do find a little note

with thanks, spider lily, maple, cowslip. And tied to it is a

small whistle, and it looks about twig-sized, to be honest. It's much larger than a pixie's whistle ever could be, and much smaller than a whistle for anyone else. Maybe Gricko could play it, actually. It wouldn't be so out of size for Gricko. It is a beautiful reed whistle with intricate carvings all over it, and it thrums with a sense of magic. There's a note here, and a

Thrumming whistle. Torbek pulls out the small brass whistle he had from the epic arena fight between Chuckles and Gideon. He's like, oh man, that's so much cooler than Torbek's whistle. Are you sad on that whistle? It's actually bent now. No! It's okay, Torbek. I think it still looks pretty cool. I try to play it. It's just like... I'm going to read this note. Here you go, Gregor. No, it just says...

It essentially says thank you. Essentially it says thank you. For what? Just says thank you. Oh, for me to use context clues. There's a lipstick marker right here. I assume that's Galslip. That's what I figured it was, yeah. Would you like the note? Nah. Oh, are those sending stone runes underneath the lipstick? Oh yeah, they're sending stone runes. Yeah.

Been there, you know what I mean? Brutal. That's cold, Ian. That's cold. Yeah.

We're all instantly-- Are you playing the whistle? Because I'm nice, I'm not going to make the one-time use happen right now. You play it and you feel the magical thrum of this, what is very clearly a magic item, and you have not attuned to it yet.

So the magical effect does not happen, but with your druidic nature, you can feel a similar magic to something, almost a druidic magic. And you imagine that with some time, you would be able to understand how this works, but that it is very clearly a gift from the pixies to you. And whether it was for the food that you gave or just your experience with pixies,

being what it is, knowing that they enjoy a good time and the companionship might have been enough for them to want to reward you. Or it could have been for the information that you gave them about the mundane doorstop and how you ended their squabble over what its purpose was. It is unclear as pixies are whimsical creatures and do what they will, but this is a gift from them to you. - Well, I'm gonna hold onto this and study it while we walk.

And as that's happening, Frost, you are inspecting these trees, looking at how different they are in comparison to the others. And you move around this one and that one, and you eventually find yourself face to face with a poster.

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a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Mmm, a poster. You make your way around the tree, and you find a poster nailed to the side of the bark. You can see the sap that is leaking and hardened from the wound that this nail has left. It's trails of rust,

running down the sap. It's clear that this poster has been here for a long time. It is wrinkled and waterlogged, and yet it still stands, it still exists. What you see is the image of a young boy, a wanted poster. "Bring this wisp of a thief to me alive and unharmed, "and I'll ensure that no sword can ever break your skin." Signed, Granny Nightshade. Does the boy look familiar? No.

Human boy, elf boy, fairy boy? Human boy. And at the very bottom, looks human, at least from this drawing that you see here. And at the very bottom, an elvish script, which I'm assuming some of you can read. I believe that I read elvish. Perfect. You see Wanted, Will of the Feywild. Will of the Feywild. And that's the name I deduce? Will, I get it. Yes. Willa and Mel?

Who's Willa? Willa was the little girl. The little Willa the Wisp. Is that true? What are you saying, true? Yeah, Willa. Willa?

Where do we know Willow? She was the Will-O-Wisp from the wells when you first entered. I was just double checking. Willow the Willow and Will of the Feywild? Will of the Feywild. If I say that seven times fast. Of the Feywild. This is definitely a Lost Boys situation. Uh oh. Like a Rufio. 100%. Does he look like a Rufio? He looks Rufio-ish. Can I check for Dante in Boston? Don't let him get in your drink. What's the roll to check for Dante?

Oh, I rolled a name. You get nothing. I will remove the poster from the tree.

You rip the poster from the tree. The nail does not pull out. I'm going to pull out the nail. I'm going to pull the nail out. I'll just let you do it. You pull the nail out of the tree and you see burbles of sap spill out of the bark and quickly harden in the air. I hope that feels better.

Hey everyone, there's a poster of this Rufio-esque boy. He looks like an incorrigible prankster! He does look quite incorrigible. What's all that stuff say? What's he convicted of? Lots of Rufio. Well, the elvish here, it says "Will of the Feywild," which I deduce to be his name. Not William. Just Will.

Well, I'm assuming Will's a nickname. How common is the surname of the Feywild? I wouldn't have an answer for you. I've only been here for less than a week. My guess is that he might be the vivre equivalent of that rabbit folk you brutally murdered.

What was that guy's name? Acton Longscarf. Acton Longscarf. Oh, yeah, you would never forget. And I just pull out this long scarf that's blue and purple with blood. It's dried now, so it's like a deep, dark brown stain on this blue scarf. Perhaps you should clean that. It looks quite dirty. The stain set many days ago. It's getting a little crispy. It's getting a little crispy.

The next time we find a river, I'm going to make you wash that. Good luck with that, Frost. But I believe that Will is probably an inversion of the trope, where rather than being in league with the hag, this guy, he might be a bit of a freedom fighter-esque type fellow, despite his young age. Do you think there's any kind of relation between Will and then Willa? Both kids? Oh!

One's dead, one's presumably not. "Oh, do you think the hags killed his sister or something?" Maybe there's like Will, La, Will, and Willum. "And remember that Almaraz was named Remi William?"

What? Mimi William was the Amaraj that we met at the carnival. This is all the woos. Wait, Mimi, are you fucking with me right now? Or was the Amaraj actually Mimi William? I thought you were talking about that one person that was like, it's no Mirage, it's Amaraj. No, no, not the charming, the charmingly dry and sarcastic gnome. It was the Amaraj was named Mimi William.

"William, wasn't it? "Am I crazy?" I go, "What the fuck are you talking about?" It's so many years ago! Tormek can't remember! "No, it wasn't, it was--" Oh, yeah, yeah. There's also Willy.

There could be a willy somewhere. A willy? I imagine we might run into a willy. There might be a willy. You hear the sound of snapping twigs and rustling leaves as out from the forest you see this long, not long, actually, it's only about three feet long. Oh my gosh, what is that? It's a giant wound. One and a half feet round,

A golden ring stretched around his middle. It's like a living piano cottage. His tiny face smiles at you from the very center of the-- Do you want to make me use this to try to climb a tree to get away from it?

I punt it and it disappears into the forest. No, it doesn't. It's way too solid. It's got a lot of mass. It just dies. It just dies and doesn't move. Who wants pot roasts? No!

That's not Ken. None of that. Okay. Oh, none of this is happening? So, why don't we keep an eye out for young William, and then we can ask him about what kind of operation he's running to get-- he's really riled up Granny Nightshade quite a bit. Well, does it say what he's wanted for? Like thieving or murdering or-- It's not specific.

Just thieving, I think. Well, what do you think the... Do you think there's some kind of, like, fey or hag trick when it comes to the reward? Like, oh, the sword will never pierce you, because it'll, like, smash you instead. You're turned into a statue. Yeah. I'm just going to keep this, and we should keep it in mind, but it was a very old poster. This will may already have been caught in the sword procured by some bounty hunter. The sword?

Yes, a-- Oh, not a sword, a boon. A boon that will prevent-- A boon, yes. Yes, yes, exactly right. That's what I meant. So, I feel like we've been playing for about two hours, and we don't really know what we're doing. We're going to this fairy circle. We know exactly what we're doing. Oh, we're going to the fairy circle. We're going north east.

Frosty, no, not the magical flute! No, put that away! Tiny Tornado picks up Graco. Wind Whistle. Oh god. I'm sorry, I'm saving this for later. You have an attuned to it. That's right. And then you can play a tune on it. But you have a-- Yeah.

Keep that up, man. That helps. That makes me travel faster. We're actually just standing in place. You're all just dancing around the body of the dead willy worm. We dance like the key art of Where the Wild Things Are. We just dance like this as we make our way through the...

the valet. I need you all to roll a survival check first. Ooh! We even made a survival check in Kamada Dogzai. What is this, icebound? Torbec's advantage for some bizarre reason. Except for Gideon, because Gideon can't dance.

What? Well, no, you make your survival check. You just don't dance with everyone else. You can't dance where the wild things are. You are trying to dance, but you're dancing like Elaine from fucking Seinfeld, so you're just kicking the air at random intervals. Oh, you need to stop it. Can I twist this? I'm going to use one twist. Pull out one twist. It's like a full body heat.

I got you. Survival, you say? I'm feeling very 13 on my survival. Yeah, me too. I got a six. 18. 18! Ooh! Err! Err! Err! Err! I need you as a group, I need someone from the group to roll a d8 for me. Torek will do it, because he's the winner. Torek is the winner. Don't get it for him. Watch the pepperoni. Here it goes. Hey, watch the prosciutto, man!

What are you-- Watch the Wyrmbo! Hey, watch the pursuit! Here comes Big Brown with a hot fork! No, you're not allowed to! Okay. I said you weren't allowed to. Allowed to what? Roll a four. And then I need all of your survivals, please. 27! 18. Six. 18. Wow, Torbjörn. Thankfully it was a group perception, or a group survival. Yeah, thankfully.

And though-- Instead of a machete, Torbek's just using his blade fingers to cover the underbrush. He leaps up. Torbek leads the way, and with his unnaturally,

his natural abilities, actually. He is able to carve a path through this ancient forest and these towering trees and help you to maneuver through this land a lot quicker than you had expected to. Though Crammie and Twig do not make it easy, the rest of you are able to help guide them in the rough direction of where you imagine this fairy circle to be.

It takes a couple hours of travel and it is getting close to midday as you eventually find a path that begins to wind through these trees. The trees start to thin as the underbrush gets a little thicker and thicker until eventually you spill out into the

yet another grove. And in this case, what you see are towering mushrooms of varying colors. 10 feet into the-- between 10 to 12 feet into the air, towering above you, almost like a fungal stonehenge. Ooh! And you-- I need you to roll another d8 for me, please. Tormek would be honored. Five!

you immediately hear the sounds of singing and music and dance. As you step closer and peer around one of these large mushrooms with a beautiful periwinkle blue cap, you see that inside of this circle is

an entire group of campestries, the same creatures that you had been the day before, as they dance and sing and hop about this way or that. None of them seem to take any notice to you at all as they're enjoying their early morning of music. Get 'em!

We beat the shit out of them. Yeah? Okay. No more initiatives. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm kidding. I just thought it'd be funny if we ate them all. The time has come to reset. That's what I got here. Real ones will understand and appreciate. Remy, you're usually good at talking with...

most anyone, I would recommend you engage them first, if it's going to be any of us. Well, hell, man, this one's probably corrupted. Look at all these guys. This is what we turned into when we fucking walked through the last one. And I'm not doing this again! How corrupted does it look? I would say it doesn't look corrupted at all. Is he any good at determining that?

Hey, it looks fine. The pixies let you know that upon closer, like upon coming to one, you would be able to tell if they were corrupted. There is nothing about this, as far as you can tell, that seems like there is any sort of nefarious magic here. All the mushrooms are the bloody teeth variety. Oh, those ones are really cool. They're really cool. Yeah.

Well, you think you should go in with the stick and do the shit wins? I'm already through. What do I do then, little mushroom people?

Hello! As you step into the fairy circle, immediately the sounds of music stop for just a second. You notice that in the very center, there is a small campfire that they've been dancing around. There are little wooden stools and small buckets filled with honeysuckles and bits of honeycomb. This is quite clearly a

almost a home for these campestries. And as you step into this circle, they immediately stop and look up towards you. And they all seem incredibly interested as they begin to surround you and look up at you and start to hum almost in unison as they sway back and forth and just hum this faint melody. It's almost hard to pick out.

but they don't seem aggressive in any way. - This is nice, we're being serenaded. - Would you mind providing any respite to these five weary travelers on a long journey? We're new to this land and we're looking for guides. - Five weary travelers, new to it. They all start singing.

Oh. Should we join in? ♪ New to this land ♪ ♪ New to this land ♪ As you guys all start singing, they all start clapping and dancing. They seem very excited. Yay! This is great! Well, what can you tell us about this wonderful circle of yours? ♪ Tell us about the circle ♪ ♪ Tell us about the circle ♪

That's not super helpful. We're just trying to understand where we are and maybe where this goes. I don't know, if you happen to know a guy in a cave, let us know. Guy in a cave, no, no, no. Guy in a cave, no, no, no.

I would say it becomes very clear to you that they are almost similar to the bird fuckers. What are they called? Ah, the bird fuckers. Those sick bastards. I was in a band called that once. You can play them.

Kenku! They're very similar to Kenku. They can't... That's the most colorful description of Kenku I've ever heard of. It's like, who fucks with birds? If you play them, they're playable. Kenku on Thanksgiving. What the fuck? What the fuck? That's very funny. I'll face that, Kenku.

Jesus Christ. That's very funny. Oh, the turkey's been fed! If you haven't gotten there yet, you're in for the ride of your life. I asked for stuffing, but that's not what I meant! This is absurd! That's a merch idea, I swear to fucking God. Take this on Thanksgiving night. Oh my god.

You realize very quickly that they are similar in nature to Kenku, and that they seem to be attempting to communicate with you the best that they can, but they really seem to be solely interested in you singing and dancing.

their shallow attempts at mimicking these things that you say to give you information is only sporadically effective. But you have joined in their reverie.

and you notice that there's one that's a little taller than the others, a bright white beard, clearly older than the rest. This campestry makes its way towards you, Cremi, as you were the first to join the group, and begins to dance with you individually. Do you join in? I do. Roll a performance check for me, please. You're going to be good at those, right? That's an average of 20 plus eight. Oh! Well done. Well done, yes.

As you begin to dance, and it's almost as if you've taken on Gideon's dancing abilities on top of your own. As you-- That was real! As Cremi gets his groove back, and you are able to do some of the dances that you learned in Agwe, and these campestries are incredibly inspired by you. Gosh, he's good.

This leader campestry looks up at you with his eternal smile, but it reaches much further towards his eyes than any smile you've seen on any of the other campestries, as he looks towards you and blows spores in your face. Frankly, he spores all over you. I was not going to say this. I was trying to say this. He spores all over you.

Oh, it's my mouth. Chunky. Chunky? Yeah, I can't chew on them. Oh, Jesus. I feel like you're drinking a bottle of Orbitz. Crammy, you got a little something here. It's stuck in your teeth. Crammy.

You gain the benefit of the True Seeing spell for the next 24 hours. What the fuck? Sitar plays. What do I see? And what does that spell do? Which spell? True Seeing. What do I see? This spell gives the wizard creature the ability to see things as they actually are.

For the duration, the creature has true sight, notices secret doors hidden by magic, and can see into the ethereal plane all out to a range of 120 feet. Oh, damn. And as this happens, you do watch as the forest around you changes. And though it looks mostly the same, it is the ground beneath your feet that looks different.

You look at it for a second and you see these strange lines that shoot out from an epicenter somewhere further away. It is very clear that there is something

embedded in the ground itself, but at this vantage point being so close to it, you can't quite see the full picture. You imagine with the ability to fly, twigs help, something of that nature, a bird's eye view could grant you more insight as to what you're seeing. You can easily tell the Compestries are just as Compestries are meant to be, and that this fairy ring is clearly uncorrupted.

Remy, are you alright? Right? Right? Oh my god. Oh, what is this? I move my hand and I see it like, sort of... Yeah. It moves like a... It's like a fourth dimensional being. Like Donnie Darko vectors? Yeah.

They all clap and sing. They seem to be very happy with your performance and the music. "Mine eyes have pierced the veil, fellas." Well, Crammy's gone. "The Grand Elder has granted me a great gift." Fellas, fellas. "I have Second Sight." Uh... I can see through reality. Second Sight, this is the Second Sight. What are you saying, man? Crammy, is this a bit to scam these mushroom folk? I don't think they got any gold. "Praise me, it's just an illusion."

What? Well, reality exists in four dimensions. Torbek knew this was actually just the ninth layer of hell! Aw man, he's gonna start solving crimes in black and white now. No! Eldritch ley lines! What? They're buried beneath the soil. I see them go far off. Twig, can you permit me to soar?

Or is it going to the lily pad? You know that you're not supposed to fly under the influence. Yes. Oh no, I'm so far above the influence. I'm not under anything, Quig. I'm very much above the influence. Okay, I will cast Fly on you, but I'm going to need you to hop on my foot. Like step on your-- I mean, your foot's like that big. No, hop on my foot. Hop on my foot.

Oh, one foot! Touch your nose, hop on one foot, and spin around in circles at the same time. Oh, God. I'll use my cane to sort of balance. Use your cane? That's cheating! All right. And I try to do that without puking or falling over. You were able to. Oh, wow. That was easier than I expected. Ryan, come here. Let me touch your face. Last time I could do this, though. How long is this going to last? One hour.

No, I don't mean you, I mean him. I look at Kapa smirk over there. His little tiny eyes are huge. I'm like a vestry of open hands. I know. I accept. He's giving you the Jack Nicholson look.

I would like to live deliciously. And Twig reaches out from Gideon's back, places her hands on your face, and she blows into your face and says: Fly! I'm not going to be supermanning it. You begin to float and you see-- And just float away from Earth. You see the way the Feywild

and it's not the magic of the Feywild, it's just your ability to see past the Feywild itself and into the ethereal plane that is in tandem with the Feywild and the potential creatures that could walk through it. And you float up above the canopy of trees

and directly into the sky, and you begin to look out, and you see that, though from this vantage point, it's difficult to determine, and you weren't with Torbek when he flew up into the sky, it's difficult to determine what he saw that is different to what you are seeing, all except for one thing. One thing that is something Torbek never mentioned. The entire...

surface of Thither is a clock face. The lines that stretch out lead towards numbers, but instead of 12, there are 13. Whoa. You even see the minute and hour hand as they move and move, and then you begin to notice that as it gets closer towards the 11 on the clock,

or the rough approximation of 11 on the clock, the entirety of Fythir shifts just a little bit. Oh! Like, rotates? Mm-hmm. That's why it's wishy-dow-ee. Well, that makes sense as a player to Derek. Yes. Wave goodbye, Gideon. Dang, this may be the last time we see Grumby alive. I don't say that, man. I will say, as you're looking up, you notice that there are

the numbers that seem embedded, there's almost stone features that orientate themselves around some of these places. And two of the numbers stand out to you as almost glowing with a magical light. The number's three and the number's eight. I will grab the chest pawn out of my coat. Time. Time is a flat circle. I see it all. I see it so clearly now, fellas.

Do you see it too? Oh, Jor-Beg is worried for Mr. Crummy! Crummy, what the hell are you talking about, man? You're flying up in the air. We're not seeing what you're seeing. What is it? Fivver. It's time. It's the beginning and the end. It's all or nothing. It's Alpha and Omega. It's all one big clock. Okay. But instead of 12, it's 13. Okay, over. 13 angels, 13 demons...

They battle for my souls. Well, that's a break a breaker. That's a bit of a stretch. Skin green. Three and eight. Three and eight are the answer. I don't know what it means. Big brown is terrified! It spins, it spins, it doesn't stop. Okay, over. Did it spin shitter winds or widder shins? It's spinning clockwise.

It's spinning. Not Widdershins, but the opposite of that, whatever that is. It's spittin' shitterwins! It's spittin' shitterwins! What do you mean, man? You think the whole land's turn or something? Is that what you're saying? It's all a goddamn clock.

And then there's going to be a shadow coming behind me, my shadow with the gun it always has. Oh, no, God! It's actually Briggs, yeah. That's so good. I also need you to roll a perception check for me, please. What does it mean? As I roll a perception check. Oh!

Oh, 18, I think. Yeah, it looks good from here. 18 plus, that's a 20. Medium grain, can you be a little bit more specific of what you mean? For those of us who aren't intelligent listening men like Gideon and Tomek, not me though. As you have all stopped dancing and

Kremi has flown into the sky. All of the compestries have settled down onto their rocks and their stools around the fire, and they're all looking at you quizzically. They don't seem upset or frustrated, maybe a little sad that the music stopped, but they're all curious as they watch what's happening here. And Kremi, you hear this message come in from Gricko, but the sound of rushing wind

catches your attention and whatever Gricko is saying completely slips your mind as you turn your head towards the west, as you see green gigantic flapping wings. But it's not the kind of green that you would see in the Feywild. It's almost a translucent ethereal green as you see a creature in the ethereal plane.

spindly body, its incredibly long neck ending in a head with razor sharp teeth and gigantic bulbous eyes as it lets out a burst of what looks like fire from its maws. It screeches into the ethereal plane and dives into the ancient forests.

you hear the sounds of breaking branches and cracking rocks as this gigantic monstrosity, this gigantic beast destroys whatever it has landed upon. The sounds of screaming for all, I don't know how else to say this, but animalistic screaming can be heard from the forest as this creature has found its prey and then silence.

Time to make another Jurassic Park reference. Is Kremi the only one that can hear this? Yeah. The Elden Beast of Viridian Scale, it comes to me. I've seen too much. I don't know how long I'll have. Torbjorn is crying now. Turn around, Kremi, look at what you see. Ley lines of ancient fey power that courses through this land. It is time itself. Okay, over.

And can I get anything better than medium green? Like something, I don't know, like Slim or Foxtrot or something? I don't know. Over. Medium green we can rediscuss when you touch back down to Earth and you've officially landed and we're not worried about your safety or your bones. Just come back, Mr. Hades! The land itself rumbles beneath our feet. It turns. Evil owns the sky.

I'll just get back down here, man. You're losing it up there. I'm a flea! I want to just rock it down to the ground. I've been writing down everything he says, like word for word. You rock it down and land in the middle of the circle. All the campestries are watching you, you all with bated breath as you rejoin your friends. Am I on the ground? Mr. Krabby! No, I'm not on the ground. This isn't actually the ground. There's something below us.

The gr-- Time! Time is below us. The hands. The hands, they're reaching for me. Uh... Oh. Must have just been spores in my nose. I feel okay, but I still have that second side. What the fuck was that? You guys see that too? Or was that just me?

It was just you, man. You were flying up in the sky talking crazy stuff. Viridian scales or some shit, monstrous things coming for you. The Lamb's a clock, everything's turning. Upon saying the words "Viridian scales," all of the campestries let out a collective gasp, and then they begin to sing.

One, two, one, two, and through and through the vorpal blade when Snickersnack he left it dead and with its head he went galum. And they continue to repeat this rhyme over and over and over and over again as they look around and up into the sky as if they're horrified that something is coming.

Did y'all see it too? Glumphing? No, we weren't affected by Papa Smurf's stories. The Elden Beast of Riddian Scale? I saw it. I saw it. The Jabberwock with eyes of flame came wiffling through the Tol'ji Wood and burbled as it came. What are they saying? What?! Oh man, these little things are freaking me out. I'm starting to freak out now! Is it coming? Is it coming right here? Oh my god! Fuck!

It's probably not, Jemwalk's a silly name, it's probably not very scary or nothing, right? Well, that's probably what you saw, Kremi. What was it, man? I mean, is it like something we can take? It was a great beast of horrible claws and fiery eyes, allegedly. And it absolutely eviscerated some sort of giant creature of the woods. We didn't hear any of that! No, I saw it all.

Oh, if it finds us, I don't think there's anything we can do. Oh my goodness. Well? What the fuck is a Jabberwock? I have not heard this phrase, but we do have a solution right here in front of us. It was like a dragon, but worse. We have a solution? Yes. And for the sake of just visuals, this is what you saw. Oh, hold on. Just the Jabberwock. Just the Jabberwock.

Oh my. Yeah, I want to see that. Damn. So awesome. That is so awesome. That is so fucking good. Guys, I have beaver teeth! Oh my gosh. Fruit of Lookingglass is public domain! So I might actually be the Jammerwog! Oh fuck! Ah!

I hold a glass of cup of water. Now, Gyd, look, if I just take a little bit of water and I rub it-- Oh, fuck! Oh, no! We have a way out of here. We know that this circle can teleport. If we each find a wand, we can repeat the words and we may be able to journey far from here. Do we think it's upon us? I listen.

I'm sorry, I don't know what he said. Do we think it's upon us? No, what you saw, it was, you are, just based on the map, you can see that you are very much towards the east at that, or getting towards the east at that fairy circle. It was,

Sorry, I've got to look at my map. It was just south of Loom Lurch in that area between Loom Lurch and the river heading towards Thither. That's where it dove down and you did not see it emerge. It's far and I would say with your Truesight, you could tell that it did not see you.

I scroll the mini-map over and I zoom in. As the branches are snapping. Oh, you know what else just got public domain? Oh, Bob. Honey, quick! Anyone have a smackerel? I mean, I did tell you they had honeycombs. An hour or two for test. What counts as a wonderful

Well, anything straight and hard. Ah! The whistle! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no. Grimmy doesn't think it's upon us. It's not, no. It was way far away.

My vision sort of zoomed in and I could see and hear it clearly. You imagine that it flies incredibly fast, faster than anything you could possibly imagine. And being able to move through the ethereal plane, it does not suffer from the same issues other things would by having to deal with the flora or fauna of the Feywild. It could probably get you very quickly. But Jabberwock!

The Jabberwock is upon us! I take my hand and I just start immediately going shitterwinds. You're doing it, not Greco. Well, no, we all are, right? Wait! What's the Jabberwock? What's the Jabberwock? You made it sound very scary. The Jabberwock with eyes of flame came whiffling through the tolky wood and burbled as it came. Does it have any weaknesses that you can sing about? No, weaknesses.

Oh god! That's not very encouraging. What rhymes with weakness? Grumka, lumka, dunkity, deecuses. One, two, one, two, and went through the vorpal blade with Snickersnack. He left it dead, and with its head he went galumphing back. What's a vorpal blade? What's a galumphing? Oh!

So, Kremi, do you think we need to teleport right now and perhaps risk wherever this circle turns us down? How do we get the Vorpal Sword? How? Is that what we need to defeat it? The Vorpal Sword. How do we get it? Glump, glump, glay. Glukalay. I mean, no, that hasn't been revealed yet. Oh! It's a Frumjus game. Frumple Dumple.

They look panicked, and they look like they want to give you information, but they don't know how to communicate it. You see that they are attempting to interpretive dance things to you. But I would say it's very clear that though they know of this creature, they're not--

They're not Jabberwock historians. Jabberwock biologists. They're not Jabberwock biologists. I'm a mushroom, I'm not a Jabberwock scientist! I don't know you well enough to tell you that. Do I deduce that they just need the words?

I will say it's easy to deduce that they can sing songs, they can dance with you, but they cannot answer complex questions. Well, shit. I propose we kill them.

Thomas Cub, my mushroom friend. Shoes are ships of sealant wax. With cabbages and kings. Torbjörn, go ahead. Torbjörn is sorry! I pull out the most delicious loaf of

Just looking low for bread and start cutting it. Dermot's crying as he's shoving the campestria into his mouth. They all scream as you eat them.

You don't actually eat them, right? No, no, no. But I do want to know what they would sing if we did. This is the end. No, we don't have to go anywhere. I mean, it sounds like even if we were to teleport, it might still also be a great threat regardless of where we are in Thither. It travels to the Ethereal Plane. I can see that now. Oh, it's so clear.

I don't even know how we escape it. Does that mean it can be right next to us and we wouldn't even know it? I mean, as long as I can see through the veil, I can see it coming. But if I lose this ability in maybe 24 hours, then that's exactly right. Mr. Crammy? Yes? Torbeck has a question. All right, go ahead, Torbeck. What does it mean that it's on the ethereal plane?

No, it's not very clear, but what I know is that it's... If you think of three dimensions... What's the ethereal plane? If you think of the three dimensions that we exist on, right? There's one dimension, there's two dimensions. Do I know what the ethereal plane is? The third dimension, right? That's 3D space that we're in. Okay. The ethereal plane is the fourth dimension that lives on top of everything.

Whoa! Oh, no, you're just a display. That's not the Ethereal Plane, that's the Etherreal Plane. Etherreal? No, that's just when you huff ether. Oh, is that how you pronounce that? Yeah, obviously. And then when you take a shit afterwards, it's called Etheria. You're describing the Etherreal Plane. It's my daughter's name.

Yes, the ethereal plane is parallel to our own world. This beast is a fourth dimensional creature, and so is the clock. It all exists in the fourth dimension. So how do we get there? It's like moving in and out of existence or something? It's like a veil that sits over our reality, and some creatures can cross through it. I can't cross through it, I can just see through it. Oh, but it can come here?

That's what it looked like, yes. Two things. One, it's fascinating that the ethereal plane is parallel to the Feywild in the way that it is the prime material.

And two, I think I need to explain the fourth dimension to you sometime. What a fucking nerd. Shut up! That's alright, Frosty. He's just got second sight. He's all worked up. He's been seeing into people's whole minds. They published room. As if he knows what the fucking fourth dimension is. What an idiot. Well, if you say so.

Oh, that's disgusting. Good job, Rich, well done. I'm proud of you, I'm proud of you.

Okay, so do we, do we stay or do we go I look at Papa Shroom. They all begin to dance around you. I need you all to make a performance check. Yep. Allow me to open my dice vault. Torbek will shimmy in acceptance. Performance, 50.

15. Thank god. It feels good to roll normal dice again. You don't want to try your caboose dice? 17. Did anybody-- Le boosh! And I can't remember this. Did anyone sing with Palasha in the carnival?

Oh, that's a name that isn't familiar to Torben. Sing to Palasha? Anyone sing with her? Yeah, we had a whole weird bunch of perverts. No, no, no. When we met Palasha, I was the Summer Aladrin. And I was too on my Feywild curse to sing. I remember that I didn't sing to Palasha. But did anybody?

You were Dracula, I was Santa Claus, and you were-- Yeah, we were totally fucked on Vellasha. We were begging for taffy. Didn't we do the monster mash with Vellasha, if you know what I mean? Dracula and his son. I can't fucking remember. I can't remember either. It was a graveyard smash. Was Torvac there? No. No, he's not. Wasn't I Goblinette? That was with the web gun.

That was part of it. But then there was an imp, and then I was goblinette. Can you remind us what happened 11 months ago? Yes, no, we had an 80s musical number with Palasha in her cave. We 100% had an 80s musical montage with Palasha. I was goblinette. Then you will all roll at advantage. Thank gosh. Bop.

That's when I left the cave and went all the way back to take the taffy, because I took-- I did like 20 twists, and I had like 20 curses stacked on top of myself. Yeah, you were totally crippled. I'm going to do-- I think I did a whole Top Gun thing. 16. I think I was shooting T-shirts with guns, I think.

You rolled at advantage. No, I know. It was that bad? Oh, we get advantage? Yeah, you get advantage because you-- I'll do one more twist, one more twist, one more test, one more test. Take a twist. You sang with her. Thank you, chat. 17. 24. 17. 17. At advantage? You got two ones? Technically, I got-- well, I just feel like it's what would be happening. Yeah, you can't dance. I feel like I can't dance. Oh, that's true, yeah. And I wasn't with Kalasha. What a twist! Oh yeah, you was-- I have Ketone. 17. Mm-hmm. Mike?

17. 17, 17, 15. 24. One and-- 17, 76.

Okay. That's a hell of a roll, yep. 1,772. The campestries continue to dance around you, singing the tale of the Jabberwock. Though they seem scared, there's something about your company here, the music that you provided them, the entertainment that you've given them, that seems to make them very happy. Though they don't seem to be able to answer the questions that Groko is asking of them,

They do feel as if they can do one thing for you, and as they all dance around you, they begin to sing a different song in a language none of you understand, the language of the Campestries. And they begin to sing, and their voices reverberate around you as you all are bestowed a gift, a charm of heroism. - Ooh.

I thought you were doing the post-Avatar. Non-denominational holiday celebration. I was doing... I thought you were doing... Yeah, non-denominational holiday...

Celebration. Yeah, that was the Grinch Soul. I thought you were doing the outro of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Is it a physical charm I should put in my inventory? I think you could put it, if it shows up as a magical item, you could, but it's essentially a boon. I started to go into the Cavern of Bebop. It's only a one use, so you all have it on you, but it's a one use, so you have to determine who would use it.

We only have one to share in the group. You only have one to share with the group. You have a shared usage of war. Yeah, you guys have to share. Hold on. Wait, wait. What does it do? You have it in your inventory. I'll add it. Add it to your inventory. Add item. It's essentially the potion of heroism. That's what you can add.

A potion of heroism? Oh, that's not so bad. You gain 10 temporary hit points that last for an hour. Heroism. And you are under the effect of the Bless spell. That's heroin, that's totally different. Oh, we had those for Golden Lotus Fight. That's right. From Beneath Our Wings. I gave you a shit ton of those for some reason. It didn't help me.

No, it didn't. It didn't help anybody. I had fire resistance and I still almost got one shot. For one hour? She was an ancient gold dragon. She smoked my ass. She's an ancient gold dragon. Smoked me like a brisket. Which is definitely a lot higher. That's about as smoked as you get. Okay. And you are under the effect of the Bless spell, no concentration. For one hour. And the charm bubbles and steams as if boiling. Okay. Yeah.

Thank you very kindly, little mushrooms. So should we go through the mushrooms? Mushrooms, would you recommend that we go through? Do you know where this is going? Are we still singing, or can we just talk normally? You can talk normally. They just get really excited when you sing, but they don't expect it of you. Do you know where this circle takes people? No, no. Do we just roll the dice? No.

No. I mean, there's no reason not to try. Let's just map it all out and come back. What do you think? No, I mean, I can't imagine. It's a Feywild. You go one place and then... No, no. Someone told us it was explicitly like the color-coded cauldron from Banjo-Tooie. Oh, right. They said it went both ways. It just goes both ways and we can do that, but then we have to find different parents. But they always connect, is what Busty or Lusty or... Wasn't it also from Banjo-Tooie, too?

was that bandicoot i think it was maybe both anyways is it banjo kazooie 2 just banjo tooie that makes sense that makes sense uh you know what i could go either way on the one hand we actually have our bearings and i feel like uh we're i'm starting to pick up on the patterns of the forest we now know that it's a clock face i think based on your insane rambling and

If we go through, we might ruin that. But at the same time, why not roll the dice? I think that that map there, we gotta flesh out, we gotta map this whole fucking place. And we know at the end of this, we can get all over, we can get, you know, way faster than just walking through the woods. So I think just learning more while we can... Are you saying we platinum thither? That's exactly right.

Let's find some wands. Whatever, I just forgot your cane, so... I need a wand. I pick twig up. Shitter wins! Shitter wins! Shitter wins! Shitter wins! I'll just hold twig. Here's my ten-foot pole.

It's the only thing that I didn't keep from last campaign, thank you. Incredible. I still have a bell, a blanket, a fishing tackle, a cumulus spectacles. I look for a wand. I look for a straight stick that I can use for a wand. Torbek finds a horrifically gnarled dead branch. Roll an investigation check. Oh. Investigation. Not that one. Did we get wands at some point from somewhere? We did.

12. Torbjorn does not have that written down. 12. I may not have did that. I could have sworn we got some wands of something. Got like wands of, I should write things down in my inventory as soon as we get them. That's about the only thing I keep track of anyway. Especially like when it matters. I don't know. Nope, I don't have a wand. It was mentioned that it could be a stick. Do I find a stick with a 12? Or a twig.

With a 12, yeah, you're in a forest. You could have found it with a 2. Torbek finds the most horrifically gnarled piece of shit stick he can find. Torbek's got one! It's all fucked up. That looks like a hashtag. You need to get one that's straight. It's good enough! We gotta get out of here! It might not work. You might show up on the other side of terrifying inside-out abomination.

Get one of those penis-looking mushrooms, the really long ones with a tiny little-- They're too floppy! Why don't you get your penis? It'll be fine, I can. You all find whatever sticks that it is that you're looking to find, whatever wands you're looking to use, and you hold the wands or sticks above your head and you begin to dance in a circle

one-time Wittershins. Immediately, as if knowing what you're doing, the campestries all begin to panic and scatter. They begin, it looks like they're almost counting. Then every single one of them leaves the circle, except for two, leaving exactly eight creatures inside the circle. As these two campestries join you,

join you in your dance. And as you go once, you begin to sing, or you begin to say the words: Three times Widdershins and off we go. Twice. Three times. And then you feel

a pull at the back of your stomach as you are ripped out of the fairy circle and you all tumble to the ground as dust and sand billows up around you. You feel the stinging, blinding heat of the summer sun as you look up towards the sky and you try and wipe the sand from your eyes as you see that you are in the middle of a stone circle

these giant obelisks with imagery of mushrooms and fey things etched in pictographs all around you as you look out at an expanding desert for miles and miles all around you in every direction. There is nothing but sand and sun as you dust yourself off

you feel the heat pressing in around you and you see that your two mushroom friends are here, but they can't handle this kind of heat as you watch as their bodies start to wither and die in front of you. Oh no, no! No, oh god, why did you join us? Help him, help him! Crick him, fix him! Is it too late to do anything? You can try and do something.

but they are already clearly-- Oh, just let us go. They're clearly dehydrating. I'm trying to desperately spit on them. Any moisture. I'm going to cast Create or Destroy Water as

I'll say easily you're able to infuse them with the water. You watch as their bodies expand again. They look a little dazed. They're small. These are little tiny things. You imagine that you could put them in a water scheme and keep them with you, but they're going to require some maintenance. As you look up towards the blazing sun and you

begin to look out as the sands shift in the wind, and you see very far off in the distance

what appears to be a large stone obelisk jutting out of the sand. Not one, but two. As you look and squint, you can see that it seems to be attached to some sort of gate, maybe some sort of stronghold or city or something. That is where we'll end the session. Oh! We have to go back. We have to go back, Kate. We have to go back. Will they fit in a large mason jar? Yeah. Okay.

I'll remember that for the rest of the game. For the sake of not killing the campestries, sure. And I will say for-- It's all right to cry. Because all of you have traveled, you have seen a place like this before. This looks very much like Nekbet. I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it. What in the hell? You grew in Nekbet? Yeah.

This is shocking. Where else are you gonna find deserts and avantras? Haven't you ever seen Lawrence of Avantras?

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