Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 42 | All Dolled Up
02:52:41 Share

Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I am Gricko Grimgrin, and you are listening to Once Upon a Witch Life. Here's what happened last time! What do you know? We would benefit from your knowledge. Okay. Here.

And she pulls out a black iron key. Oh, her special thing she puts in the room over there. Did you see a very fine purple top hat with a nice silk ribbon around it? I did see a hat float through here. Three hours ago. For a second.

you are able to see the form of the shadow. This is a person that you have seen before. Sitting downstairs with Babylon of Lightstri as you speak is the eldest Darkling sister. The shadow is an exact replica of her visage. Off to the corner, a tall top hat. Nestled next to it is Twig, completely blue in the face as she's struggling to breathe.

There is no air in here. No, no, no, no. You use your entire action to move as quickly as you can. Oh, what's going on, man? Can you get him out of there? Yeah, you say to him, I think he might be okay. Please, please, please work. Rico, Frost, Twig. And I'm going to try to pull them out. Look up to...

To Gideon's pained face and you don't want to be the one to tell what you see. As you turn towards the frog and decide it is best to pull Frost from the abyss. You need to stop. What do you mean, man? She's gone, Keith. What do you mean she's gone? She's dead. It's her only first adventure. You won't want her. Death comes for everyone at some point in their life. Fuck, man!

Not everybody survives their first adventure. You exist in shadows. A dark and creaky attic spreads out before you, cluttered and stretched to accommodate years of refuse. Light pierces through the gloom and dust from a lone and broken window on the north wall, and yet, you are shrouded in darkness. The shadow you had fought moments ago leaves no trace it had ever been here at all, but the blood already beginning to clot on the surface of your wounds claims otherwise.

yet none of you feels the sting of physical pain. Laying in stillness, the tiny smile still etched on her frozen lips is the body of a brownie, a sister, a friend. Twig rests at the feet of those she loves, and the silence is louder than the collective crack of your many broken hearts. And so you feel no physical pain as the grief numbs you. Her fist clenched as if in silent determination, a simple sign that she faced death as she faced life.

The light attempts to pierce the darkness of the gloom, but drowned in the shadows of grief, none of you can see it. What do you mean we need to leave, man? Where are we supposed to go now? What are we supposed to do? Got what we came here for. You got it right, kid? Still got your hand on it? This stupid piece of silver spool? Exactly right. That's it.

What the hell is this supposed to mean? What even is this? Who even cares, man? And I'll toss it to Torbjorn. Torbjorn's got it. I'll reach out and my finger will snap. Look at him. Look at all of those. You want to end a black twig? We're just supposed to let her get away with it? She killed our friend, man.

We just told her we wouldn't leave her in the Feywild. She wanted to come with us. We're just supposed to walk out of here? I actually think we should run. I'm not joking. I... Look at the state of Gricko. Look how close to death Torbek is. Whatever that shadow creature was after, I think it satisfies what we were looking for on behalf of the king. If we can get Twig out, there may be a chance. But if we stay here, we're likely to make...

some foolish decisions. What would you rather do, kid? I'd rather fucking rip her in half! We don't know how strong she is! And once she casts a hex on you, freezes you in place, and rips all of our intestines out, does a little dance with it, and snaps an X? What then? Ghandihan, Torbek is sorry he's not better at fighting. How about a juice?

I got nothing left. Gideon, you know how much I want to kill the hag, but... Kirby's right. I say we take Frosty's head, go back to Bloody Toes, give those little fuckers to her, get Hootsie and fly off the balcony. We get... And I'll point to the deer skull. We get Clapperclaw, his head back,

Can we just get the fuck out of here? Are we sure this is all we need? I have no fucking idea. No. We probably can't come back if we're wrong. It's a metaphor, right? He just said a trinket made to the present. The present of Fred that's uncut represents the present, right? Frosty. I'm sorry?

You smart, doesn't that, does that, you do that track? I, uh... Silver Fred? I mean, Fred's a time. It's like a Sam, right? I'm trying to think about the steps we need to take in order to get out of here. In some ways, we are trapped. I don't know if this pad can carry all of us. If we can't go down the side of the house, out the window, we're going to have to go through the same room in which we were shrunk. In which Bavlorna and her guests are. Yeah, I'm not sure what we do now. Do we even worry about it? Clap your hands.

You even worry about fucking bloody toes and these little fuckers? Hoochie's with bloody toes. We need to go back and get her. Oh, fuck. I was glad she wasn't here. Can you bring her with us? Twig? Yes. We're not fucking leaving her here. We gotta bring her with us. We gotta get her someplace nice, man. You see what the fuck she does to anything that's dead in this place? Stuff's it and puts it on a mantel. Puts it behind a piece of glass. It's not fucking happening to Twigsy. You're right. I just...

Doesn't feel right like putting it in a bag or something. We gotta get the fuck out of here. Although, I'll pick up my hat. Sort of seeing maybe where she was like trying to like scratch at it as she was dying. Trying to get my hat back. I'll sort of brush it off. She did this all for us. She was just trying to help. She was just trying to get my hat back. I'm fucked up, don't you think?

All she ever wanted was to be a part of the team, man, but she was. She didn't have to do all this. She didn't have to prove anything. Do you have any kind of way to bring her back? Can primal spirits do anything? No. There's a natural cycle of life and death and rebirth, but not just, oh, never mind. No thank you. Rebirth in terms of a natural world. If there's any place where

there's a chance that that might be possible. It's here in this place. I don't mean in this hut. I mean right now. Right here, right now. If there's any chance of anything bringing it back, it's gonna be bad. I'll point at the

mechanisms on Torbec's back. No, no, no, no, no, there's no way! It's too dangerous! We don't even know what it is! I saw your fingers turn into some sort of fucking twisted syringes, Torbec. You're gaining some kind of control. Torbec doesn't know how to use it! Well, now it's something to try, man. I mean, nobody's done more drugs than Twig.

She's licking frogs and drinking mushroom liquor like it's going out of style. Something could go horribly wrong! Something's already horribly fucking wrong, man! She's on the ground dead! But is it worth if she comes back different? That's the risk that you're taking if you want to do that, Kremi. I mean, Torbjörn seems not that different. Did you die, Torbjörn?

Under the knife. Torbek isn't sure what Torbek be or if Torbek had died. Torbek may not be different, but his other is very different. I'm just saying. There's a chance that we want to fucking take it. Five needles in the heart of that shit. I wouldn't be surprised if we brought it right back. We don't know that it's going to work out, man, but we don't know that it's not going to work out. So we're just going to not try? I don't know if I'm in for trying, but I don't think we try here.

The creature downstairs, the guest, she knows that we've killed her shadow. I'm sure of that. We have very limited time to make a decision here. I don't know how long... how time-fucked is it in here, this half-to-death and all. There's... there's no way that pumping twig full of this horrible serum is going to do any good.

It was created by a horrible, evil nobility torturing Torbjörn. He can't even control it. And it turns him into a monster. No offense, Torbjörn. Oh, no, dang it. Griggo's right! It's not natural like Griggo was saying! What if to help her? She has to stay uncorrupted.

I mean, that's a fair point. I don't fucking know, guys, but what are we just doing? Nothing? We just getting out of here? We just sling our dead body over our shoulders and walk out the fucking steps without trying anything at all? Because maybe it won't work out? I think we've done enough here. It's over here in Hiva. We need to go to the...

You picked the wrong accent for this game, man. Oh no. Mum couldn't afford speech therapy, and so Uncle Gorbo did it, and he was worse than me. But the point is, what you said, Gideon, that's... Yes, there's nothing else left to do.

If you have my vote, we go to the window where you saved the cute little plant sunflower folks and did no harm and only did good. And then we all get on Frosty's lily pad if it can fit us, or at least one at a time. We go around to the balcony where that satyr was. We go give these little fucks to Bloody Toes in exchange for a way to get to

Use the mirrors to get to, uh, uh, vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Get somewhere else. There's no other option. We get her somewhere nice. But at some fucking point this is all gonna come to a head. And I just need you guys to know that when it does, we kill the fucking hag. No deals. No talking. We just fucking put her down. That's it. What if she can bring Twink back? What if Torbek can bring Twink back? We didn't even fucking try it.

You wanna make a deal with the hag that put her in the ground in the first place? I can't even dance, Kremi! I know. You're colorblind, probably. No one even knows what the hell's going on with you. Grinco's not even a little bit funny anymore. And you wanna make a deal with the hag for Twig? I don't. I don't. I'm not saying I do. My point is, is that when Twig came with us, she knew the risks.

She wanted to go on an adventure she knew they would be dangerous. But does that mean that the second she goes down, that we just give up? We don't use the options we have to bring her back? At least try? There's nothing good that could come out of any of this, Crummy. How do you know? Have you been with me this whole time? You look at this fucking horror show? She's made of different stuff. She's of the Feywild. You don't know how it's gonna react.

He dragged his ass off the fucking material plane. Maybe that's why it's mutating him like that. I don't disagree that it might be worth trying, but I do not think we should do it here. Again, we may have minutes before Bavlorna's guest tells her that we're up here, and there's just nothing but a trail of evidence that we've been doing nothing but disturbing and destroying her things, going through everything, finding her secrets.

going through her chests, locked things, secrets. There's no way to spin that in our favor. And if we try to make a deal with her, look at what happened to the Triton that we met, who had lost all emotion. He was an Eladrin. The Coral Eladrin. Look at the Eladrin we met. That should tell you everything we need to know about what would happen if we tried to make a deal to bring back Twig with this hag. Probably that fella just wasn't savvy at making deals.

He got what he asked for. You think you can outsmart a fucking hag, Kremi? I can certainly try. And then what? If it all goes south, I can't even fucking stand. My daughter's in the kitchen with a bunch of dead vultures and shit. I don't... Torbek's almost dead. Yeah, Torbek doesn't feel very good. Like you say yourself. If she snaps her fingers and just sends Gideon to the other room, locks him up,

So have us for supper! Bathe with our entrails! We've no reason to believe that she'd attack us on sight. We've no reason to believe she'd kill us just for talking to her. I don't want to punch first. That's my point. Because I think that we can try to get out of here. I wouldn't be surprised if she knows exactly what the fuck we're doing right now.

Well, it's like Frosty was saying, man. I mean, that other Darkling or whatever was doing sketchy shit up here the whole time. She was probably covering her tracks. Our tracks. She probably has no idea we're up here. Regardless, man. Shit is bad enough as is. Twigs down. Can't lose you too. Torbek maybe.

Not you. No, no. Not Torbeck. We're not losing anybody here. Not even Torbeck. Not even Torbeck, all right? He was here, too. I just want to bring him back, not for me, but for you. That's why I want to try. We're going to try. We can solve this. It's just another puzzle. But I agree. Let's get the fuck out of here. Why don't you collect again? Do I see, looking around, any evidence of...

the combat beyond stuff that we would have done? Like, is there shadow marks or shadow stuff like a body? This room is so cluttered. It is, it is true to its name. It's an attic and it is filled with years and years of collection, but not just, not just trinkets and relics of the past, but similar to things that you saw downstairs, dirty dishes and, uh,

disgusting stuffed taxidermied abomination. Um, scraps of cloth are laying everywhere and the dust is settled on everything. So looking around as the dust has now begun to settle, it is beginning to cover up the footprints that you had made. And you imagine that in a short amount of time, there would be no way to tell whatsoever that anything had happened up here. I will, uh,

and try to stand up and kind of stabilize myself and reach an arm out to Graco.

Let Torbek help! And as you reach to grab his hand, and you'll see that the flesh that's near the tubes has kind of receded a little bit. It's a little bit more visible and gross. It might have been from attempting to use it, the wounds that Torbek had sustained in battle, but it looks even worse than normal as I'm trying to help you. I'll take your hand. Come on! Not so tight, not so tight, not so tight!

"Ugh, what have I..." And I kind of stumble forward and like, very clearly needing to like, stabilize myself, not able to stand on my own. Proposal. "Ugh... Yes?" We get twig situated. We make it as though we haven't been here as much as we can in this space. I have this strange cube thing. I'll keep that in my pack. We take any other trinkets that we can as we make our way to the window.

At the window, we all need to get out of here. I am not confident our lily pad will carry the six of us. We have the charm of the monarch, each of us. Short of time to fly, perhaps? Make it around? Down the side of the building, we get and retrieve Hootsie. But I do not propose we make it to the mirror. We continue flying down. I agree. And if we can find...

Clamperclaw's head. Clamperclaw can lead us to...fither. Right there. Oh. How convenient. Check. We were more focused on the shadow of the Darkling. Can you get it down with your mind? Can I get it down with my mind? Alright. I go over to Twig, take her glasses off, fold them, put them in the crux of my shirt,

I take her, if she has her bag on her, I take her bag off and send it over my shoulder. And I pick her up in my arms. You pick her up and you're looking down at this tiny cold body. Her arms fall limp at her sides. And you notice that one of them is open, the one that had reached out and clawed at and pulled at Kremi's hat. The other one is held tightly around a small piece of parchment.

What does the parchment say, Nikki? Are you gonna look? I'll look at it. Yeah, I'm torturing you, my bad. What you see is a small drawn image of what is very clearly the very first night that you all met. Now there is no Torbek in this image as he had not arrived yet, but it is all of you laying by the fire around Hootsie in the living room area of the inn, and it was clearly drawn by Twig.

and at the top it says my family and as you stare down at her form you hope for the rise and fall of breath that does not come but what you do see is something you don't expect her skin which

had begun to change due to the means of her deaths. You remember the soft blush of pink right beneath the surface is now masked by a soft brown. Strange lines begin to form and her body begins to get heavier and heavier and heavier. And she began to notice that her arms, where her elbows had been, now appeared jointed.

and slowly appearing at the ends of each of her fingers, long threads of rope. And at first you don't believe what you're seeing, but it all begins to come into focus over the course of one minute, maybe two, five, ten, where once had been the body of Twig is now a small marionette in Twig's form.

Her arms still limp at her side, but now dangling from them are the ropes that attach to, on each one, two crossed wooden beams that would use to puppet this toy. She looks exactly the same. Nothing else has changed. Her eyes open, beautiful green, but now etched in wood. And as you stare even more at them, you begin to see the twisting bits of what appears to be twigs at first.

But they're not. They're stems. Roses. Wooden rose stems that curl out of her eyes and where her eyes had been you now see two beautiful blue roses. What's happening here? Look at Twig! She's not her anymore, I don't think. What the fuck? What the hell? Some kind of hack trick? Yeah.

"Hey, this is the hut or something? Or this is, I mean, what's happening? What is this? I'm still hurt?" I'll lean in very closely and having Greco and I being the two who actually handled the marionette with the sun and moon face in the previous room, does it look like the same make to me? Roll a perception check. Can you just give me the information right away without that? No. Not yet.

Oh, not bad. Looking, you move closer and immediately you catch the scent of twig. She had a scent about her that was earthy and autumnal and happy. Like a cozy fire in autumn. And this puppet, this marionette, that smell is just emanating from the wood as if

It is one and the same. And as you begin to look at it, you see that the carving of this wooden figurine looks almost exactly like that of the one that you have in your pack. I don't know how this could be. She's transformed into a marionette, like the one we found inside of the chest that you broke. Oh, it's gotta be hag magic! Something is wrong!

What the fuck, man? She's turning people into marionettes? Does that mean the thing that you have is somebody? And who the fuck cares about that even? What about this? Oh, Mr. Mooney was someone who was alive and got killed by... Scavifer. Wait, weren't there initials in the one you found?

It was Angeline. You saw what you saw, but you saw those and they looked like they'd been carved in after the fact. Not necessarily a maker's mark, but one of the hags marking their property. I would say you could try and look further. On the bottom of the... Yeah, on the bottom of the shoe. You could try and look further to see if you could see any additional, like a maker's mark or something. Whatever made that other marionette

However it came to be, may have very well been the same magic that's affecting Twig now. This really surprises me, though. This doesn't feel like Mavlorna. Toolback, can you get Mr. Moony out of your trench coat? Yeah! And I'll, like, go into my filthy sack, and I'll, like, pull him out. You don't have to give him up. It's okay. He's gonna, like, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. I'm, like, pulling him out. You have to keep him. He's getting stuck on the sack, so I'm trying to pull him out. Ah!

And I like walk him over to Gricko. And I guess, is he like close to your size? Is he like close to your size or a little shorter? I imagine he's kind of like a foot tall. And so I'm like, what, three and a half? Yeah, okay, so he's like a third of your height. I walk him over to you. Well, Twig's a little bigger than I think he is. She's like kind of two feet. It's a foot tall, the marionette. Okay, so I walk him over to you and he's like, you know,

It has a face on either side of its head. So it's got a face on the front and the back. Oh. One face is the moon and the other is the sun. Here he is, Graco! Still creepy as ever!

Frosty, why don't you take a look? I'm starting to see double. I don't know if I'm gonna... I walk him over. I marionette him over to Frosty. I'm doing that. It's very weird. I'm sorry. Just hand me the marionette. I don't think any fella's gonna look like that, though. That's probably just a puppet.

We got a brief glimpse of Scabatha. Didn't she look moony? Scabatha? No. Andalyn? I wouldn't say she looked moony, no. I got a glimpse. You saw one of her familiars, and they were moony.

It was a moon face. I don't know if anyone else saw that. Did he show up later? You described it. I described it. Basically, it was the sow pig, it was the little fucker, and it was the, uh... When you were, like, stunned. Yeah, I was, like, in, like, the shadow realm when they just took the seat. Yeah, and then there was a lornling, it was a lornling, it was the sow pig, and then it was the, uh...

Like, it had a moon mask. It was like a child or something with a moon mask. I can show you the photos if you want to see them. Yeah, you can. Give me a second. It may have been months ago, but I vaguely recall it. And Dormanc was somewhere else. This mirage is no mirage. It's torn with two or three wings to run across. That character resonated with Dormanc.

Thorbeck misses her.

So these are the three things. Oh yeah. Oh, that's Moony. Holy crap. Yeah, it's Moony. Based on Graco's decision. And I would say you could use your druidic magics to replicate images of what they look like so you all have a clear picture. Does the marionette feel like... So the hornling is this one. And this is the sow pig. And then that's... You don't have a name for this one. No, no, no.

Based on what I know from Greco's description of the crescent moon-faced servants of...Ephelon? Enderlein. Zendaya. Oh, so we can just call her Creeping Lynn. Does this feel like a marionetified version of one of those servants? Does this feel like a marionetified version of one of those minions?

That sounds different. I don't think we're going to solve this. We're wasting time. I don't know what's happening here, but we need to get out of here. Maybe just getting them as far away from the hut will help. It's a start. Wait, do we think that Enderlin made that dog? Based on Graco's description of the creature that appeared to him when Hootsie was taken during the carnival, there's a very...

parallel look and feel. I don't think it's an accident that the moon is a symbol of this hag. Look to see if there's anything else, like a secret compartment, like something beyond the EM, and give it back to Torbek when you're done. Thank you, Greco. He knows how to pilot it better than me, but I will... Maybe it's like a puzzle box. Roll an investigation check.

And for the record, Torbek does not pilot it very well. He just tries. Oh, really? It's not good. Mine was getting all twisted up and doing like the... He just kind of like, Torbek just like, you know... McDonald's is open to me. He does not do that.

I'm gonna 26 this business. Let's go. You look over the doll and you do once again see the spot where it was very clear that Endelin had carved her initials into this, marking it as her property. But you continue to look over the doll, the marionette, to see if you can find any maker's mark whatsoever.

And at first you find nothing. Until you notice that it is possible to move back a small part of the carved moon on the front of the face. And you see that right on the inside of it is a maker's mark. Is no fun. Is no blimsy too. Hmm.

It says, is no fun, is no blinksy. Blinksy? Blinksy. Blink. That means nothing at all to me, Frosty. What's that? That's perplexing. What a stupid fucking saying. What a thing I don't even know about. Torbjorn's not very good at grammar, but was going to say the exact same thing. There's some words missing. Maybe it just doesn't fit on a marionette. Maybe it doesn't like contractions.

Well, this feels like a dead end. I've given it as thorough an investigation as I possibly could with perhaps one point of exception. What's that, man? What did you leave out? What did you check? Oh, I rolled a 19. I could have gotten a 20. Oh, I thought you meant like there was one spot on the... Never mind. Let's get the fuck out of here, all right? Now are we in agreement? Should we endeavor to go through the mirror or should we...

No. Wait. One thing at a time. This is fucking important. What this means is that... Thank you! It's not... somebody else made it. It's not like Anderlin turned Twig, I don't think. Wait, does Twig have the same fucking thing? Take a look. I start checking Twig for moon marks and... Be careful. You're rolling investigation. The marionette I was handling was delicate. What the fuck? What's happening to that bitch? Ooh.

16. You look over Twig's body. You're doing your best to be respectful, noticing that I will say that the DC is lowered a little bit as you have a rough idea of where a mark like this would be. And you move towards the back of Twig's neck.

And where there had been hair on this little body, there is now a wig firmly attached to this wooden marionette. And you lift the lower part of the wig cap, and there are no marks. She's got nothing on her. No weird phrases, no moons. I'm actually not sure if that's a good or a bad thing in this place. Who the fuck knows, man? Maybe that means she's not...

some sort of horrible construct. It was a whole fucking horrible construct the whole time. That seems unlikely. I mean, I want to imagine that it's some kind of transmogrification. I mean, we've been huffing witchlight for how long?

And we're transforming, and we're becoming different people, I mean, look what it does to Torbjörn. Do we think that because Twig joined the adventure and all the effects, it's like, when you die, oh, you become a puppet suddenly? This feels different. It's just like another cruel fucking joke. Perhaps in ten minutes, she'll be back to her normal old self. But we have to assume that won't be the case.

She suffocated in there, and we both nearly did. Well, I guess that strikes off my idea. I don't think sticking syringes in wood's gonna do any good. Thank the gods! Well, Cranny, we don't think that Gideon's punchy biz or Frosty's brain and beans and Torbeck's juice and certainly Armada juice

What about the Shadow Man? I have no right to ask him to do anything about that. Even if I fucking did. Shadow Man deals in life, death, and undead. No rebuff. That's not how that works, Gryffo. Once you're dead, you're dead. We'll have plenty of time to discuss this when we're alive and away from here. I'm sorry to be the pragmatist here, but we have to move. You're right.

This is not the time to be emotional. Frosty, you have the skull, don't you? It's on my back. We have every- Oh, isn't there like a helmet here over that spooky- He's a very charming, uh, I can't remember the name in my brain fog. Everyone, we need to hide.

The creature. What act of desperation compels you to enter my home, little darlings? Are you fucking kidding me?

And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies,

a tarot deck, and more. Thank you! You hear a soft step after another as Bablorna has clearly made her way up to the attic. She is in the room you were in previously, the one in which you had rescued Bablorna.

The twig blights that had been suffering from dehydration. The one that you had just left to chase down the shadow that has now found oblivion in one way or another. And all of you freeze as you listen to the sound of the creaking wood as step after step, Bavlorna slowly makes her way towards the room where you now reside. Oblivion.

Please don't make Hoochie an orphan. What a do, Miss Blackstraw. How you doing this lovely evening? You hear the creaking stop as Bavwarna waits for a moment, clearly thinking. I have had an interesting night. Come, my friends from the cooking show.

Let us have tea and cakes downstairs in the parlor, yes? That sounds lovely, fellas. What do you think? There's no need to stay in an old woman's dusty attic. We'd love to join you, of course. Please, do lead the way. No, I would not do something so crass. You are guests in my home. You first. All right. My hat on. Got my cane. Ahem. Ahem.

I'll walk. I'll lead the way down the stairs. I'll proceed too. Blood completely cold, Torbek will have shrunken down and is like quickly following behind Mr. Kremi. Yeah, hold up, and I'll stumble. I'm just gonna be face first. My hips are bent and I'm just like this on the ground. Can someone give me a hand, please? Frost, you.

Yes, um, I can't use my... Hold on, hold on. Hug this. I'll unfurl like a map the lily pad. And if you hug onto it, you can sort of float and just let your feet skip along the ground. Just think where you want to go and lean forward into it. Yeah, yeah, there, there, there, there, there, there, there you go. All right. All right. I'll stay with Greco.

- My mind being. - I'll lead the way and I know exactly where she drinks her tea, so I'll go down there. - You make your way out. - Well, I'll linger for just a moment. And in the darkness of the room we're in, would illuminate briefly and softly as flames would start to roll up the back, like as I'm facing her.

So not that she would see, but if you're paying close enough attention, it would push light very briefly as I...

do everything I can to control a rage that's roiling within me. She's like out in the other room waiting for us, right? And so we haven't come out yet. As I am thinking about the little fuckers I'm thinking about before or not and realize that this lily pad is her like car. I'll be like

Frosty, that's probably a bad idea. What is? We stole this from LaVona. Well, we found it in a pool and it happens to float. I don't know if it's hers in that way. Is that what you mean? We should hide it. This is our get out of jail free ticket, Frosty. I have Clamperclaw's skull strapped to my back right now. Should I hide that too?

I'm just gonna shove it. I'm gonna try to shove it into Frost Robe's. Torbek's limping behind Mr. Herbal. Roll a Deception check. I would say disadvantage because you have two strengths. So you're gonna have a hard time hiding now. It's gonna be like... Oh boy. Oh boy. I would like to twist it, if we don't mind.

Same. I'm gonna do one more twist. And if it's fate, it's fate. Yeah, no, it's not good. I think that is a 12. It is a 12. Okay, thank you. As I... Perfect! As I'm sort of leaving the room and walking down the hallway, I want to sort of kind of very subtly just sort of peek in the corners of the room where it's the darkest and the shadows just to see...

Make sure I don't see any movement of the shadows themselves. Roll a perception check. And I would say, just given your dealing with shadow, you may roll an advantage. I'm the shadow man. I work with my hands. You glance around the room, and the only shadows that you see are those that are attached to each of you.

It is very clear as you look around that whatever shadow had been here, you have dispersed with, or you have dispersed. I will feel a little more confident as I walk forward and will see Kremi's shadow. Maybe flickers a little more than it should in the light as I proceed.

You are the first person to make it out of the storage closet and into Bavlorna's bedroom proper. And you see that she is standing there in a patched work dress that hangs well past her thin and frog-like legs. Um,

she is almost in a squat position her the top half of her body looking like it is almost cumbersome to carry on the tiny stick-like legs that protrude from the bottom of this night dress that she is sewn together all down the front are stains from meals gone by and she has the pungent smell of swamp water about her and

but carried in her spindly arms, you see a silver tray laden with bird-shaped cookies. They are steaming as if they've just come out of the oven. I have brought a little present for my guests to help make you feel more at home. Come to Mommy Lorna. Have one, Grammy.

I would like to hear from a real chef how you like my recipe. Am I still standing? Yeah. Do you mind if I sit first and just get relaxed before we... In my bedroom? She motions towards the bed. You may sit on the bed if you would like to eat cookie there. Well, I'm presuming this is where you would have tea if you're offering me a scone. I can't eat a scone without tea.

To help you get down to the room. You look like you've had quite the night. Well, certainly smells delicious. I can take it for now, or maybe save it for later. What do you think? We can wait until downstairs, but you will try. I would love to try. With some tea. We will wait for the rest of your friends. It's just that, you know...

When I eat scones without tea, it gets stuck to the roof of my mouth. These are cookies. I have a lot of roof... mouth. And a lot of teeth. You probably don't need all of the teeth. Well, I like to, you know, hold on to them. Maybe it's an option. I am a collector, too. Mmm. Yep.

Just stand here next to me. We will wait for each of them to come out on their own time. She smiles wide and you watch and you see that when she's not speaking, her mouth hangs agape as flies dart in and out of it.

I would absolutely be next, having been trying to follow close behind Kremi. And as Torbek is slinking and kind of limping and coming around the corner, he'll look over his shoulder and say, "Okay, guys, remember, don't touch the lamps!"

Oh, hey! Oh! You are so much bigger than I remember. Oh, remember. You look so soft. Oh, well, no one's ever told Dora that before. You would make a great coat. Oh. Oh.

And then like as quickly as limping Torbek can, he'll like shuffle behind Kremi and it's almost like even though he's so much taller, he's like trying to hide behind Kremi for protection. We will wait for the rats. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm sure they'll be right here. Torbek, would you like a cookie?

Oh, actually, that sounds pretty nice. Stormac's on a pretty rough day. They make you feel so much better. And she hands you a cookie that is clearly the bottom portion is a pigeon and the top portion is a vulture.

That's what it's shaped like. But it's a cookie. Does it smell like a cookie? Would Torbek think that this is anything other than a cookie? No. Torbek eats the cookie. You go ahead and benefit from a long rest.

- Yes! - I immediately perk up, baby. - You take a bite and it is delicious. There are notes of cinnamon, there's a creaminess, and as you bite into it, you immediately see the flash of iridescent rainbow colors and you realize that there is somewhere in this recipe, Beezleberries. - Oh, this is the best cookie Tormek has ever had!

Thank you! Very welcome, Torbeck. Mr. Crammy, did you try one of these? No, I'm saving mine for tea later. Oh, Torbeck might have seconds, even though it's kind of rude and greedy. I did make extras in case Torbeck had it. Oh, thank you! Welcome, there's an entire tin downstairs with your name on it. Then she pinches your cheek.

We will wait for the rest.

I guess we're putting all of the things that we've stolen into as many hidey-holes as possible. I'm gonna keep at my side accessible the square cube that I found when I was inside of the fish's mouth and do my best to fold and pack and put everything in a way that looks like I didn't steal anything from this person. And then I will do everything that I can to support Graco. All except for... Thanks, first man.

which was placed upon your person by Griggo in a haphazard way. Yeah, okay, so it's just like underneath my armpit in a very obvious way. Okay, that's fine. Go on, Griggo. Thank you. The two of you shamble out and into view of Bavlorna. She stands there in her filthy nightdress as Torbek gobbles down a cookie and Kremi looks on suspiciously.

She doesn't look directly at you, at least not with both eyes. One of her eyes is watching Torbek as he gobbles down his cookie happily. The other eye, however, moves on its own accord and follows your movements into the room. It looks like Frost has my lily pen! You found it! I'm so happy!

Yes, we found it. It has been missing for a long time. Yes, I believe that it was clogged inside of your bath. You see her face changed almost immediately. You mean my bath has clogged?

It had clogged, actually. There was a terrible creature inside of it. I don't know if you knew that. Was it some kind of pet, perhaps? It was this large worm. We took care of the claw for you. With a strange jerky movement, she tosses the tray of cookies onto the bed and rushes towards you faster than you would expect as she clasps her spindly hands around your arm. You have done Lorna a great favor.

Do you see the cracked and broken skin? I can hear it. Yes, she rubs her finger along it, and you can hear the way that it, the dry skin as it rubs against her yellow nails. I have not been able to bathe properly for a long time, for it aches my weary bones and my tight flesh. Speaking of the cookie-heeled Torbex, go! Fly!

Torbeck's teeth looks great. Well, how did that happen? I got a delicious cookie! I see. Yes, and she quickly moves back in her strange, jerky way and picks up the tray of cookies. You both look like you could use a little picker-upper, boys. Have one of my cookies. They're really good!

Yeah, I could use a cup of coffee. Do you got that? We have tea downstairs. Just drink the tea. Doorbag, are they...

Torbeck good or are they good? What does that mean, Frost? They're good cookies. I remember back at the carnival, I once watched you empty out a trash can, pour the water in the bottom into a flagon, and drink that. Torbeck fails to see how that's relevant.

I gag. Torbeck doesn't bring up every time you get a hairball, Frost. Well, they're inevitable. It's a supernatural part of life as opposed to drinking garbage water. I guess I'll have one of the cookies. This one is for you. And she hands you a cookie that is the bottom portion of it is an owl and the top portion of it is a bluebird.

You are skilled and creative, Bavlorna. And it tastes delicious. There's a hint of citrus. Is it good or told that good? It's good. And you benefit from a long rest.

Should I eat it? If you don't, I fear that you will not be long for this world. I would say that it is more rejuvenating than a cup of coffee and quite flavorful. See, Torbeck told you guys! I just don't trust you about food, Torbeck. Which one is for... He's having trouble lifting his arms. Which one is for Gricko? This one is for Gricko.

And she hands one that is the top of a toucan and the bottom of a parrot. Oh. You don't have to lift your arm, I'll-- Chop a goop punch. I'll mindhand it if you want it. Just open wide. Here comes the toucan. That's humiliating. Give it-- I can-- What is a toucan? I can do it, I'm-- I catch it. You want another go?

No. Grrr. Grrr. Grrr. What sound? What does a toucan sound like? Oh, I was going to do, when do we want cookies? No. No.

I guess I'm what a chicken parent sounds like in all cases. And you enjoy the benefits of a long rest. I suddenly just like inflate. Wow. Kremi, these actually, they're full of a spark of life that I can't quite articulate to you at this time. No, I see that. I definitely see that. I'm fully rejuvenated in my beans.

You understand? You understand all the problems that we could have? All my powers are back. It's almost as if I've had time for breakfast, is what I'm saying. I'm full of energy. Eat the fucking cookie. Can I respond? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, number one, you're always ready for breakfast, Frost. But number two, I mean, yeah, just because it's good doesn't mean there's not going to be some sort of horrible side effect after an hour or two. Oh, certainly. You're going to wait for an hour to see if we just deflate? I'm just going to have a nice cup of tea. Okay, if a battle breaks out, you better chomp this down good.

Frosty, you said this was quite good. You should have said it's more than good. It's great. It is great, isn't it? Great is the word that I should use. That it is great. Really. Really.

That really rolls off the tongue. Yeah, you really undersold that one. It is quite good. Your terrible bird sounds aside, you tried. I'm no bird... birdologist? I don't know the word for it. I don't care for birds. We all know a toucan sounds like...

Is that what they sound like? Yes, obviously. I don't know who's closer. What would an owl bluebird sound like? Oh, Torbett can do that one too. And how about the...

What was it? The vulture pigeon? The pigeon? You'll be surprised to know Torbett can do that one. Let's hear it.

I rush out of the room. What's happening? Is she cutting Torbjorn? No, no, Torbjorn is doing animal impressions. Look at these lovely cookies! I am not hurting anybody. I simply give Brood the cookies. I give one for you two, Gideon, and one for Twig. I don't eat cookies. Well, we will give one to the brownie. I'm sure she would enjoy it.

We will wait. She has one for Toy? Mm-hmm. Curious. What do you mean, LeBron? Your little friend, the one that helped you at the cooking show? The one that follows behind? Not quite one of you, but still family? Well, we could take it for her.

We will wait before we go downstairs. These rooms can be quite dangerous. Oh. Well, uh, maybe Gil, if you could present Twig. Present Twig. Shorter Twig, man. Well, I'm just... Twig's a fucking marionette. I don't... How's she gonna eat a goddamn cookie?

You want me to take her mouth and go like that? Is that what you're doing today, Miami? You want me to use her mouth like a marionette mouth and just chomp her with a cookie? I say calm down. I was thinking more like a nutbag. He says calm down. He says calm down. A little bit of lever action on the back. Where am I supposed to find the fucking lever, man? On her back? You want me to just insert a lever into her back so I can open and close her jaw so she can eat a fucking egg? Something has been doing it a little while. Can you just...

Can you just give us a second? We're in a dispute. Yes, please. No need to raise your voice. We're all friends here. That was my normal talking voice. I apologize for him. Sorry about that. Don't apologize for me, all right? Sorry. Sorry about that. Look, here's the thing. Do you mind if we just have a quick sidebar? Just go in the corner of the room. No, not at all. Please take your time. I will talk with Torbeck, Draco, and Frost. Yes.

Yes! Look, do you see some other way out of this situation, kid? What's even happening right now? Look, I don't think she's gonna let us leave until she knows where the fuck Twig is. She wants to make sure that there's no brownie sneaking around her fucking bedroom. And I'm supposed to show her that Twig is dead in a marionette and she was in the frog's mouth?

Well... And we dragged her out and she's not breathing? You'd rather say, "Oh, she's dead, and she didn't make it," and we don't show her the puppet. Or maybe we say she's not dead, but she got mysteriously transmogrified into this puppet thing. We don't have to give all the fucking details, but we're gonna have to explain her away somehow. Fine. Show her twig.

She doesn't think fucking weird with it like adding a lever to her back or start carving her name into her I'm gonna fucking go crazy. I'm gonna tackle her. I'm gonna punch her just don't know what I'm just I'm gonna get a little fucking crazy

Unless she physically fucking harms you, you understand? I'm just saying, if she gets within striking range, if she moves that, I'm a little skittish. She kind of has that creepy old lady. Oh, I hate that creepy old lady shit, man. I hate old people. I don't like when they come near me. Sometimes they just move real quick, you know, and you're like, what the hell? Where'd that come from? It's a possibility. I mean, you've reached five fucking feet. You know how far that is?

far that is? Yeah! It's that far, man! It's exactly that far! Well, look, all I'm saying is please don't cause a ruckus unless she fucking means us ill. And so far the fellas have rejuvenated with these fucking cookies. So why don't you have a cookie and I think you'll feel a lot better. I don't eat any of this ugly dumb hag's cookies. Alright? But I won't

Cause a ruckus. I cannot, however, promise that I won't start a kerfuffle. As you guys are done your sidebar and you, like, come back, you hear Torbeck talking to Bavlorna. And then the licorice that Torbeck ate wasn't licorice at all. It was a rubber hose. And Torbeck's pretty sure there's still some inside of Torbeck. Do you want to have it? Eat.

Do you want to have it out, you poor thing? Dormag isn't different. Did it taste nice? Yeah, Dormag didn't stop. Hey, guys. I've been just sitting there completely silent like...

As soon as you both arrive. Actually, thank you for coming back and interrupting Torbek. I did have one question. The eye's ability to look around, were you born naturally with that ability, or is that something that you trained over time? Yes! Frost, you can't just ask people that!

It is okay. We all raised them, Mom! What the fuck is going on? Even two of them! Yes, that's right! And I'm from the small family. It is okay. It is quite useful. Look, what Gitman has to say earlier is that he loves cookies. I've never seen him turn one down, but he's gonna save his for later, too, if you don't mind. That is all right.

Now we will wait for the browie. Here she is. She immediately drops the tray again and skitters towards you. Shut up! Why are you moving so quick? It is a puppet. A marionette. It's crazy. Yeah. I don't know. Something weird happened. Now she looks like this. But she can do this. She died in the toad.

But you know this already. Scapitha's Toad. Scapitha! You saying it's not your fucking Toad? My wicked sister's horrific Toad. Horrific Scapitha. That bitch. Fucking Scapitha. She's evil. I'm not like me, Granny. Granny Lorna, Mommy Lorna. I'm very kind, I bring cookies, but my sister is wicked.

The evil and twisted. Wait, so which sisters owned this toad? Scepitha. Scepitha. So you're saying it's Scepitha. Scepitha. The one that lurks within Thither. Not Andalyn Moongrave. No, this is Scepitha's work. Scepitha and not Andalyn. Scepitha is the toy mistress.

This has the toy mistress. This has the markings of her toys. Well, what are you saying? Who would have known? Can this be undone? I imagine it can. Fucking imagine it a little harder. I mean, what the hell, lady? You might have to travel to Lomelurch if you're going to find out what my wicked sister has done. Oh.

I have simply stolen the toad. I had not quite figured out... I had three scrolls around here somewhere that I was going to use on that toad to figure out how it worked. Ah, we can see the scrolls. That's fine. I'll find them eventually. Um...

I'm trying to nod to him and kick the broken chest with the hole in it. Behind some barbed wire or files of clothes. Do a sleight of hand, please. His nice shoe and just slowly... Surely there's nearby traffic. Yeah.

- A lot of ham, that's pretty good. There we go! Good as new! - You're easily able to, as she goes to pick up the silver tray, where she's going to pick it up from is really close to where the broken treasure chest, or the broken chest was.

And as you see this, you move forward to kick it, but she stumbles a bit and you hear the silver clatter on the ground and all the noise is able to mask as you kick the chest beneath the bed. She writes herself and arranges the cookies. Let us continue this conversation downstairs. No, yeah, absolutely. Let Mommy Lorna try to help the precious boys.

We could use it. You first, please. Yeah, absolutely. I think I know the way. And she motions for you. For the sake of brevity, you are all able to make your way out of the room and downstairs quickly. She did not seem to notice the clapper-cloth skull that you had hidden on yourself, and she made no motion to take the lily pad away from you, at least not as of yet.

Do I remember who has the squirrels that she was looking for? I do. I wanted to remind myself of that. But I do have also this strange cube thing. She didn't seem to notice, or if she noticed, she didn't care about the things that you have. She's just mad eye-mooning through all of it, like it's a complete x-ray. And she... You begin to make your way downstairs, and you are met with the sight of this place.

A figure is seated in a time-worn armchair. Tall, lean woman of grey complexion dressed in black with a wide-brimmed hat obscuring her eyes. This room is filthy. Dirty dishes and bits of discarded food lie everywhere. The furniture was perhaps once of fine quality, but now stains of mysterious origin model every surface, and the upholstery has been patched numerous times.

Set with its back to the wall in one corner is a hulking wooden cabinet. Sturdy legs support the bottom of the cabinet six inches above the floor. A decrepit wooden staircase, which is the one you're on, climbs up the wall. And that is where you hear Bavlorna. She shuffles down the stairs behind you, one foot after the other.

clanging sounds as she shakes the silver tray and motions for you to take a seat. Please take a seat next to our guest. She is not the one for talking. What do you want to do, Miss Lady? The name is Kimberly Cruz. Pleasure to meet you. Are you standing in front of her? Yeah.

You are standing in front of this figure, and there is no motion. She does not raise her arm to shake your hand. She does not even tilt her head up to look at you from beneath the brim of her large hat. I will say one thing you do notice is that even with the amount of light that's spilling out in this room, she has no shadow. All right, then. Shot. That's no problem. That's no problem. I'll just, like, find...

A seat. Drobac will also find a place to sit and not address this person seeing Kremi's failed attempt to get any kind of communication from them and we'll just find a place to sit. Jaden will sit as well. Can I like, I'm gonna like be scowling. I don't know, I'm gonna go to the, look at the other person and scowl at her. Do I get any kind of sense of like what's her deal? What, what's whose deal? The other guest.

In what sense? Like, what's wrong with her? Is anything wrong? It's the sense, you know. Roll a... Sense check. Roll an insight. Let's roll an insight check. We'll see how insightful you can be about the situation. Natural 20. Oh! Damn. Hold on, hold on. Not extras.

Her hat is wide brimmed and it obscures most of her face. So it is hard to tell. You can see, you can't really see her face. You may be low, but you still struggle to see her face. What you do notice is that she is almost completely unmoving. No, she is completely unmoving. You don't even see a rise or fall of her chest. No.

Oh my god, this is not good. Does it basically, does Mikey get the sense, or Gricko get the sense, because we killed the shadow? It's the same woman, right? Because we killed the shadow, we killed her. I would say you would have no idea.

Kind of weird, but okay. Anyway. I'm just, I'm seething. I'm absolutely seething. And I will just, I will take a seat. I'll just take a seat. I, um, seeing Gricko's behavior and seeing how this played out with the guest, I would imagine that I might not

Notice all of those details. But in my mind, this is the person responsible for Twig's death. Because it was the shadow form. And I'll take a seat. Lorna walks over to the coffee table in the middle and begins to pour each of you tea. One, two, three, four, five, six cups of tea. She pushes the tea towards each of you and then places one directly in front of the other guest. The Darkling Elder that sits here with all of you.

For you, too, she puts a cookie on the saucer of each of your teacups. And then for you as well, Torbek, she places three cookies. - Yay! - And she slowly sinks into her armchair, her stained and mal-heaten armchair.

Her body sinks down into it where you can tell that over years of use, the padding inside of this has become matted and separated. The springs are worn and rusty. It creaks under the weight of her body as she settles in and she pulls her thin legs up off of the ground and tucks them under her body. As she sits there, her mouth agape, the flies flying in and out as she watches you.

She'll occasionally pick up her teacup and with shaking hands brings it to her lips. And as she pries back her lips, you can hear the cracking of her skin, her dried frog-like skin. And she takes the cup and just pours it into her mouth in one fell swoop and gulps it down before refilling it again.

Please drink your tea and have your cookies. It will make you feel so much better. I'll take my teacup. Torbeck is such a good little boy. Oh, thank you! I want to smell the tea. What does it smell like? It smells like bergamot. I'm not touching it. Yeah, but... Wee! Wee!

Oh, my teeth! It is the rough... It's the rough approximation of Earl Grey. Oh, there's fucking human teeth in my gums. Fuck! I got a tooth!

Ooh, there's old man sweat. In the rim of a margarita. I'll have a little sip. It tastes like tea. There's a saucer of cream, a bowl of sugar cubes. So, uh...

Uh, how have you been? It's been a couple days, I think, since we last chatted. You missed the dinner that we had scheduled, but it's fine. Lorna holds no grudge. The heroes of Downfall, the winners of the competition, are clearly new celebrities in town and too busy.

to come up to a hut and have dinner with an old woman. To be fair, we lost the time. You lost time? How unfortunate. No, it would have come. I mean, I had control. I specialize in the finding of lost things. Like time. We forgot to beware the forest mushrooms and lost our three days. You should beware mushrooms of all kinds, especially here.

How much time can you find? Depends on how much time you have lost. Torbek's missing a considerable chunk! Then we should talk, Torbek. Okay! Well, I mean, in terms of what, like, you know, world history or, I don't know, current events? Any kind of celebrity magazine subscriptions that you keep up to date on?

We should talk about the pressing issues at hand. Oh, one pass. All right. What do you think, Phyllis? Okay. The new government that was just installed seems to be doing pretty well. What do you think? I think they're doing a great job. Yes, their tax policy is sound. Why don't we ask Charm how she feels about the new events that are happening? Charm?

I'm sorry she can't talk when she's dead. Well, this took a turn. Good riddance. It seems that you were upstairs exterminating a pest. Why don't we talk about those current events? Eat your cookies.

All right. Jury's still out on if the transition from a hereditomonic, hereditomonic-key. Hereditary monarchy. Hereditomonic-key to a constitutional republic will succeed without a drastic shift in culture for the Bullywugs. I'm going to do the cooking. You benefit from a lot of that.

Dammit, those feel good. I'm full. Thank you. I stare at her, and I don't drink the tea, I don't eat the cookie, but I'll put my hand on the teacup, and I start twisting it while I look at her. I twist it counterclockwise. Oh!

Just keep doing it. No! Uh, Griggo Shooter wins. Yeah! Me too! I don't do anything but look at her and twist my teacup counterclockwise. She, at this point, doesn't seem to notice. You're so fucked. God, I'm so fucked. You should eat the cookie, even if you are feeling full. It will make Gideon a healthy boy. Do I notice what Gideon's doing? Roll a perception check.

I use this big boy. Oh, you know what? You know what? Acceptable money, as Derek always says. As Derek might say. As you might say. Yeah! I got it. I'm in your fucking head. Don't be. You're in there. This roll is fair compensation. It's meaningfully important. Um...

All that to say, I get a 17. Yes, you are able to see what he's doing. You watch as he reaches towards the teapot. Having said that he was not hungry, you sense the anger. It seems strange to you that he'd reach towards the teapot with no intention to drink it. And you see his hand rest atop the lid as he begins to spin at Wittership's.

Then I also turn and count clockwise. Can you remind me when Frost learned the Wittershin's information? I'm trying to recall exactly how that played out. What do you mean?

I just spent like five minutes not RPing, going through my notes, looking for the word Wittershins, and I did not write it down. Who's the king of hearts? The king! Who's the king of hearts? She's allergic. Don't estimate all three of them. She's allergic to people walking Wittershins. I couldn't remember who it was sooner than that. Walking Wittershins? Yes, so it's not just Wittershins in general. It's to people walking in Wittershins. So if you were to stand up. But it does seem, it's a very, what you were doing is a very threatening move. Oh, okay.

That's for sure. It's a show of power. It's a show of power. Okay. Seeing that, I will start to stir my tea in the same direction. I'm happy to go over the favors we've done out of the, you know, generosity of our...

If I am thinking about this correctly, that you have unclogged my drain. Yeah, yeah, I guess we did. You have found my lily pad. You did, certainly did. It's out there. You have disposed of the sneaking shadow that attempted to steal from me. It was...

And in doing so, shed light on an individual sent by my sister to thwart me. Oh. For this reeks of indolent. Indolent definitely sounds like it. You think your sister sent this shadow that was snooping around upstairs? Who else works in shadows like indolent? Scavifer, maybe. There at her theater high in the mountains. Oh, in the mountains, huh?

You should add it to your famous book! Play with shadows! Her little scissors that will sneak the shadow from your very body. What did you say about my book? I've heard a lot of great things about your book. I feel like you should add this transcription of that book! My book is missing. What do you know about the location of my book? And child, if I were you, I would not lie to me. Can you describe your book for me?

She roll a persuasion check. Torbek begins to sweat. If I have an opportunity to send a message with my mind on it-- I start spinning fast. That's a pretty good roll. Spinning it so fast, it's literally like coming up in the eye lobe. I'm gonna play and go for the other one. Just like we drew it out! 22. It is a book bound in human skin.

It is large. And inside, in the beautiful script, are written on muscle pages all of the grievances I have against anyone. Didn't those darklings try to sell us that book? That's exactly right. We were visiting the, uh... You know, now that you mention that, that sounds awfully familiar.

We were looking around the shop with the big thundercloud balloon that looked kinda like she did. The balloon, a charm, arrived. I should have known the thundercloud. The lightning, just like lightning rods in yawn. I think I saw a book that was big and was colored in human skin.

Is there a chance that they stole it from you? She pilfered my book when she came to have tea. She's been here every single day telling me farcities about my sisters getting on my good side. All the while, she rummages through poor Babylon's things to take what does not belong to charm. And one of those things was my book. You should have known.

Well, if you want us to go down there right now, kill them, and get your book back, we're happy to do so. No, this is fine. People aren't as capable of getting old book back. Well, it seems like your sister's up to no good. She's stealing your book. My sisters are always up to no good. Whether it be Scevusa, or whether it be Indolin, it matters not.

I'm sorry about all that. Family drama, it's tough to deal with sometimes. It's a little awkward, you know. Family reunions get tense. It's difficult being the only sister worth her little insult. At least you only gotta deal with two of them. Three, unfortunately. Oh, you have three sisters? Is that right? Yeah. I thought we had heard that you have two sisters. We don't talk about the baby. The baby? Oh, younger sister.

Last child syndrome sort of thing. Scebisa, however. Scebisa. She is a thorn in your side now, as well as mine. You have done me a great service. Times three, it seems. The bath, the book, and the bitch. Or the betrayer, maybe. No, I like my work better. Just to be fair, we also help make dinner.

They would clear that beehive out. It's bees. It's all bees. The beehive may have been something she wanted to have around. Oh, we didn't do that. So it seems that if you are looking for help with your marionette problem, maybe let Mommy Lorna help you. I'd be open to hearing what you could offer me.

With no guarantee that we'd come to, you know, agreeable terms, but... I could bring your little friend back for you. Stop spitting in the cup. What are you talking about? I thought you said we'd have to go to Yon or wherever. Yes, you will have to go there if you would like to find out all of what's happened, but for the meantime, I could bring her back for you.

Bring her back how? Like as a... some kind of creepy one of these things you got running around here? He's luring like, "No, they do not contain the souls of the living or the former living. They are simply creations, like a... a warlock would create." I'm sorry, too close to home, but they're familiar, you see. They are like my familiars. I said sorry!

So, theoretically, if I smash one of the brains out with a giant metal boot, it's not like a thing, it's more just like a... It is sentient and has feelings, but it has no soul, so once it is dead, it has nowhere to go. Yeah, you're Tamagotchi'd.

Tom who now? Tom from Outer Seas? Tom the Banjo player? Everyone in the range just went to the drawer where they left the Tamagotchi. It's running out of battery. 14 poops on this side. It turns out the only emotion they can feel is fear and pain. It's abandonment. That's interesting.

No deal. That is not to say that there would not be issues. Something like this is difficulty, Sol, coming back from the other side. She might be scared or weakened, but she would not be evil. She would not be different. She would be nothing other than Twig, as you knew her. So what you're saying is that the Sol's currently gone.

And you can bring it back. It is not inside the deep puppet, I am loathe to tell you. Yeah, I don't think so. But nothing would make me happier than for you to go to Thither. And I could help you get there and give you the information that you need. All I require is one additional thing on top of what you've done for me already, because this is a difficult thing, the bringing back of a life.

deep in the heart of Loonorch, a giant oak that has fallen onto the ground in the heart of Ivar. This tree is where my sister lives, and at the very heart is a circular room, a room with portraits of all of the sisters, Pavlona, Andolin, Scepitha, and Tasha. And in this room, I would like for you to take

my portrait away and bring it back to me. I do not want my visage hanging inside of her home for her to do unknown and untold deceptions with. She should not look upon these beautiful days. Oh, it's... Okay. Never mind. Wait a minute, Tasha? Mm-hmm? Like that hot robot from the carnival? I remember the stanchio. Is that what you're referring to?

Maybe Tasha's a common name, you know, tree-wide. You talking about just that thing that sat outside of the, like, hall of mirrors or something? That was like the first thing we did when we walked into the carnival. We saw that little halfling fella. Oh, yeah. He started laughing and we looked over and there was like an overwhelmingly hot inanimate Tasha.

Torbjorn misses all the good stuff. Wasn't it just a statue and a robot? It was like... It was one of those... Are you asking me? Yeah, I'm asking you. Oh, if you're asking Nicky the DM, Derek. Yeah, it's like when you see those old carnivals and you see Zoltan and it's like an animatronic. Man, I completely forgot. I thought it was just a... I was born in 400-log cabins. She moved like...

Fribble, Frivo, Grizzle, Groggle. Yes. I remember the robot now, although I didn't call it by that name at the time. That's your sister? She did a witch-like carnival?

There's a robot stuck in the cage? I imagine it was sort of like an idol to Tasha. The topic at hand is Scybitha and Enduin. Yeah, I don't think she wants to talk about the fourth sister too much. Let's not push it, Thanos. What do you think? Now it seems that Enduin sent this person here, this dead woman. You did not kill her, by the way. Let your conscience remain clean. I did blend on asking how you did it.

I have my ways, but I will not sully your image of me by telling you. I look at the bottom of my tea cup. The tea leaves are like... You see a grim! So I have my issues with Indolin. Who knows what part she has to play in all of this. But if you are looking for revenge for what happened to your little one...

It is Scapatha who you need to seek. For it is her told that has done this in your wicked ways. So you're saying you can bring Twigsy back, we go over there, take a portrait off the wall, get it back here, and we square. That is all I ask. It is a simple bargain. I get what I want from a place I cannot go.

and you get what you want from a place you cannot go. Gideon does it just for that reason. Hell, you warned me. That's it, there's no other strings attached.

I'm watching between the arms. There are coverstripes attached. I offer you a deal that is this good only because you have already shown your kindness and support of Lorna. Yes, good. We have. It is clear that you are friends.

And not false. Yes? No, absolutely. We are allies now. We're happy to help. Against my wicked sister. It's terrible, sis. It's terrible. Oh, there's nothing worse. And I think that they stole a whole lot of other things. We should probably also get back from them, if you wouldn't mind. This charm has been here day after day. I have no doubt that the balloon is filled with my balloons. Do you, uh...

Have any plans for Charm's body? I don't even know what I'm asking. It doesn't matter. I'm just really creeped out. I will take her insides out and toss them into the swamp below. I will stuff her body.

redress her in finery that suits the type of woman that she was. And I will deliver her as a gift to her sisters when I take back my book. See? Aren't you glad I asked? Now, we have some business to finish up here in Downfall. Shouldn't take too long. But if you're willing to move us on along to Leda, we would certainly appreciate it. Do we have a deal?

You will procure my portrait for me from Lomlurch, deep within the heart of Thither? Yes. So all I gotta do is steal one fucking portrait from a creepy hag? Now be careful. I have been kind to you. I cannot promise my sister will be so nice. You are now friends of one of her most hated sisters.

Well, no, clearly you're the good one. And so I'm sure the others are better than the other. What do you think? That sounds easy enough, Mr. Crammy. If she can do what she says she can do, what the hell? Why the hell not?

We gotta see that it'll work before we go all the way out there though. She's gotta show us something. Right now we got nothing. Well that's part of the deal, right? You're gonna bring it back right now. I will bring her back to you right now. And all I do is steal the portrait. We have a deal. You will travel into the heart of Loon Lurch and you will steal a portrait for me. The portrait of me and bring it back here.

And in turn, I will return Twig to you. I'll leave it up to you. Fine. We'll go do this thing for you. She reaches out her long hand. Take my hand, Gideon. We shake on it. Place her on the table.

She clears off a bunch of things on the table and she looks over Twig and she begins to mutter words that you've never heard before. Even those of you that speak Sylvan do not understand the words that she's saying. It sounds like some guttural chant that comes from deep within her as she moves bits and parts of the body.

And then she moves towards the hearth that sits in the corner of this room where you see a medium-sized cast iron cauldron that's bubbling with a dark green thick and viscous liquid. She takes a vial and fills it quickly. She jerkily moves back towards you, almost as if she's

skipping. It's like if you could visually see a CD skipping is how she moves. If in one moment she just disappears for a second and into another, it's horrific in its motion until she is over Twig's body and she tilts the jaw open and begins to pour the viscous liquid down into her throat. Breathe now, little one.

Return to the one you love. So, you are commanding. You wait a moment, two. Nothing happens. And then, you see the arm begin to move. I'm so tired. I can't see anything. And you watch as Twig moves. But there is no Twig body.

It's the body of a marionette that moves before you. As she moves her arm, you see the ropes slide off the table and the wooden crosses clatter to the ground. The two blue roses that had formed where her eyes were, the wooden roses, are still firmly fixed in place. Someone turn on the lights! Who's there? I can hear you. Twazy, you're back! Get him! Hi, hi.

Hey, I'm right here. I got your glasses right here. Does she have eyes? No, where her eyes had been, two blue roses had grown up out of them. And they're wooden roses, part of the marionette facade, but she has no eyes in her sockets. Oh, fuck. That means blue roses mean nothing to me. Very peculiar. Oh.

I take the glasses off my shirt and, uh, hesitantly I go, "Here, try these!" You put them, uh, onto her and immediately hear, "Oh, that's so much better, huh, Gideon?" "Oh, hey, Twigsy? How you feeling?" You still stare into the two blue roses, but apparently she can see you. "I'm okay. You're a little stiff."

Yeah, well, you know how on these adventures, always things are happening to us, like... Yeah, I took a nap inside of Beth Horner's house. Where do you think she is right now? Well, I mean, she's kind of sitting right there. What do you mean? She's right behind me? She's right behind you! You're a lovely guest of Babylon. How you doing, Twig? What do you want to do? No, no, it's... No, no, no, no. No, hold on.

Yeah. If I do it a third time, she's still going to be there? She's still going to be there, yeah. Eat a cookie. Eat a cookie? Can I have a cookie? They're pretty good.

She reaches out with her jointed fingers and you can hear all the mechanisms in her body moving. The metal pieces sliding against metal, the dragging of the ropes as she moves her hands forward. And she reaches out and grabs a cookie and she begins to chomp away at it, her wooden teeth grinding up the pieces of cookie as she chomps it down and

As she swallows, you see the bits of cookie just flying out of the sides of her jaw. She has no stomach. There's nowhere for this to go, but she seems to enjoy it. Like crumbs are just... She Cookie Monster, right? Yeah. That was delicious! Oh my gosh! Oh. That was good, huh? Yeah. How are you feeling? I'm stiff.

it's been a crazy day and a super weird dream yeah what was that remember it anymore I just remember waking up going well as a weird dream yeah that's freaking out cuz I couldn't see anything well here's some breathing really heavily over me was that you it's probably Torbjorn

"Oh, this hot debate has made me so hot. Oh, I need to cool down with a popsicle. Do you mind?" And I'm like, all straight, squeeze out my chair. "Do you mind if I go check for popsicles of sea cucumber rubber rectangle trousers?"

What are you trying to ask me? He would like to go in the kitchen. Just go in the kitchen. You should not leave this room until we are finished here. Just-- I need a popsicle, though. You will wait for popsicle. Okay.

Okay. I have done what you asked. I brought Twig back. You did, I see that. Yeah, yeah. You said as we knew her, when she's currently made of wood. Well, from a certain point of view. She didn't say from a certain point of view, man. She just said she'd bring her back as we knew her. And personality-wise, she's exactly the same. I mean, that's, you got a fair point. The spark that is Twig resides inside this little...

The wooden girl. And the soul's the most important part, isn't it, kid? Right, fellas? I'm glaring at Crummy. Great job! Thank you so much! So now, we must talk about what will happen next. Do you know how you will get into theater? Do you have plans? We have a

A few IDs. Knock on the front door, probably. The Prismeard does not quite work that way. You have to have a guide to get you into Cedar, and not many know the way. There was a creature once. It was a little scarecrow. I cannot remember its name. But it wondered here from Cedar if you could find the little scarecrow. Oh.

Maybe they could thank you. We will seek out this scarecrow. We will keep an eye out for that. That was going to be your suggestion of how you would get us there was find the scarecrow, child. Yes. One more thing, Bavlona, of delicious tropical punch cookies that are great. Yes? May I ask...

something... We're gonna do such a great grand quest for you. Could you throw in one more thing? Most likely not, as we are this shook and I've already done my part, but you may ask, little green one. The name of the goblin currently known as Jingle Jangle. Yes. And like, not having a

bewitching obsession with keys. She's just had a rough go of it, you know what I mean? And you know, I feel like she's had enough, you know what I mean? You got that lying around? I don't know what you're asking. You're telling me things I already know. I just mean like, could you-- You're not asking a favor. Could you like just, you know, give it back? Give her back her name, give her back her old life? The old life where she was horribly afraid of being locked behind the doors?

But she lived in fear every single day of her life. She was miserable and sad, and she came to Lorna for help. You want me to undo what has been done? You want me to bring back the fear? You know, this is one of those from a certain point of view situations, isn't it? Yeah, I was just checking. I was just... I was just checking...

That's all. I just thought of it. Oh, boy. Gosh, we could all go for a popsicle right now, eh? Oh, it's a little hot in here. We could all cool off. Well, I'd cool off for sure. Yeah. Woo!

"We do not take up any more of your time. "We can certainly find--" Hot tea, cold popsicles! "Did you believe that you have everything you need to succeed? "You know how to thwart my sister, "whatever weaknesses are, then by all means, please--" Oh, no, no, I mean, if you have that information, please!

Yeah, any information at all that you're willing to share to defeat your terrible sister, that would be-- that would be fantastic. You seem like you're in a rush to get popsicles. I would not want to hold you behind. I mean, I could just go and get popsicles for everybody. I mean, I don't mind making a popsicle run. Whenever everyone's-- whenever anyone's like, "Hey, we need a popsicle," it's like, "Oh, that's me, Gricko, they call me the popsicle guy, so I could just--"

All the time we say that. Yeah, right, Frosty? Yeah. Mr. Popsicle. He really is always talking about popsicles. Yeah. Most of the time. They're just very nice and refreshing. I will give you one more thing before you leave.

Because I do wish for you to succeed. I would not have made this deal had I not. Torbek, have another cookie. And she passes you another cookie. Okay. Crumbs also flying very much like when Twiggy ate the cookie. Skibith and Nightshade is the hag of the past. Skibith. She deals with those who are haunted by it. Haunted by regret.

Scebitha is a good liar, much better than the rest. She does not wear her heart on her sleeve, like Lorna does. She is part toy, and lodged in her back is a key. The motion of the key will tell you her true feelings. That is all I can give you, the rest you will have to discover on your own. But notice the key in her back.

For it will let you know if she means what she says she means. For I have no doubt to get to the portrait, you will have to talk to her. And under no circumstances will you let her know that I sent you. Do you understand? Torbek, have another cookie. Okay! Is it something clear which Siskiy's is?

This is scary tonight. Sorry, that's funny. Play that again.

All right, I mean anything else? I mean, you know, things we should know about the river, the lumler, to the tree, or anything else? If you would like to stay the night, I have a guest room. You are welcome to sleep over. No, no, we got something else. We've already paid for the night, we're gonna stay. I will be spending most of the night in my bed, but you are welcome to use my home and

Even if you find yourselves looking for a night of rest, come join me. It will be lovely. Oh, no, we had a big tropical brunch cookie earlier, so we're just, you know. You just invited the five of us to your bed?

to my guest bedroom. Oh yes, okay. My bed. I misread that, I'm sorry. Trust me! What the fuck? Was that your first time? Wishful thinking? I like that, thinking wishful. I just have one question. You said we gotta get over there, we gotta get the portrait, we're definitely gonna have to talk to her. She's not gonna let us just take it off the wall and walk out of there.

Or if we have to deal with her? Or if we have to... I would take the time to think about what you could offer someone like Scepitha. For she will be like me, and she will want a deal. But you don't want to lose in this deal. I gave you a good deal because you had already shown your loyalty and your honor.

Well... You cannot do that. For Scebisa. Scebifa. For you belong to me now. You are my...

Who are your friends? Not scabby fans. I'm a certain part of you. Torbek means-- Have another cookie. Okay. Torbek means we can just get close to the portrait. Mr. Kremi has said in several different contexts that Torbek has sticky fingers.

Well, that is true. Mm-hmm.

We'll get the portrait, no problem! I don't have any concerns about that. But, you know, while we're here, before we leave, I just want to put in a good word for the chef. I mean, Bloody Toes is doing a great job. She makes a mean stew. She's amazing. She's really the best. You know, if you have a budget for her... There is a reason I have kept her around and have not gotten rid of the little thing. She deserves a raise. I mean, you got it. She does not get paid.

She has really nice freckles. I've not seen. Well, maybe you should look sometime. You should also let her go. We need her help. No, I need a shift.

You have had enough. We know the best, second best chef in Downfall. His name is Pierre. And he would love to trade places with Bloody Toes. I talk to him. I talk to him after the show. And after he survives... Five stories of five-star food. And he's dead.

After he survived his bean accident. This dude's life has just gone from bad to worse. I picture Bavlorna sitting down next to a hospital bed and he turns like two feet from the bed. Oh my god. Persuasion. I can't believe you're doing this to this guy, Mike. 19. Tell me more about this little bully, what do you say? He was the one that was...

Harm the competition? Yes, and that's the only reason why he lost. He's a master chef. He cooked for the king himself. It doesn't get much better. Why have old bloody toes with nice freckles and everything else? You don't need... You can have... She's cutting up vultures. He'll feed you the finest...

Beasleberries. Beasleberries. And the most succulent... What did last people... Frog leg. Frog leg. Frog leg. Frog leg. Frog leg. Caviar.

Oh, caviar! And a saffle. And a coral fish. And much coral fish stew as you could possibly eat. I will have a word with the king. If I can make a trade, bloody toes, for Pierre, I will do so. For you are right. I am the Lord of Lightstroke.

And I deserve the best shit. And the best. And Pierre, let me tell you, he's good. He's real good. Make a very small portion of something and then he'll put a really thin, long chive right on the top, just balanced perfectly. You'll love it. That sounds delicious. We saw him try to serve fun.

I'm speaking in Tormek's mind as we're all trying to keep the mood light and doing whatever we're doing. Tormek, if you're offered another cookie... No, I'm whispering in your mind. Don't react. I've done this to you before. All right. If you're offered another cookie, don't take it.

Do not take the next cookie. You've had seven. Torbek, have another cookie. Okay! Don't do it. Don't do it. You're full. You're full. You can't. This one has extra frosting on it for you, Torbek. No, no, no. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

That one was really good. I can tell. You look a little heated and flustered. I think you need to cool off with a nice popsicle. I feel like we all need to cool off with a popsicle. Well, it's about time we hit the old dusty trail. Thanks for having us, Badalona. And we'll give you that portrait lickety-quick.

Now, if you want to get me a second portrait, we could talk about another deal. Oh, alright. Well, we're gonna be in the area, I mean... What about stuff that... Evitha has had my portrait for too long. I would like to have hers as well. You said you lost days. If I give you three days back, will you get me the portrait I seek?

Could you throw in...

the color of my eyes and the kid's ability to dance and Frost's... And 100,000 gold pieces. Everything else-- No, I don't like that. It was a pretty good point. I didn't trade for anything. Everything else that was stolen by those terrible minions of Scapify, please. Yeah, we were scammed, too. We were scammed. And, and-- I cannot do that. You have made a deal with them.

Give us Torbek's years back. I could make mul- You don't have years? No, I think- It's hard to tell between- No, years! I think Gideon said years! Time! It's so hard to tell between all the method first. Man, Torbek has said a lot. I can make one deal per portrait and I only want one. Do you want your days back?

What do you want your dabs? You can choose. Oh, the day. It's easy. I don't care about the days. Well... Hold on. Why don't we get everything that we lost? She scammed us. She said she's not doing... She said she's doing one thing. For clarification, didn't Frost give up...

Something with fear. Oh. Oh, that's right. That's right. Just so you're not missing out on potentially getting something back. Not to stir the pot over here. Don't mind me. It was something emotional, so he doesn't care. It's not a trace, not a token. Something with fear or something, but I could be wrong. Oh, my door back. My door back. Yeah, it was abstract, an ounce of fear. Thank you, Chad. And it was something you were really afraid of.

and you weren't afraid of it anymore, which is kind of nice. - What if we say everything that was scammed by Bubble, Charm, and Trinket? I remember the names. Vile minions of Scamifer. Then we'll get you the other portrait. I feel like it's a nice package, you know? - And you do not want your days back, and you do not want his years back. - Well, I mean,

What does him getting his years back, what does that look like? A long and painful process. Yeah. Torbeck is out. That's going to be a no from Big Torbeck. Bodacious D's saying no. Oh, come on, Big Brown. Yeah, Big Brown, come on. Torbeck's pretty happy where Torbeck is right now.

Torbjorn's not ready to reopen those wounds. Well, it's your call, I guess. I just thought you'd want to crack the mystery of what's going on with you.

But if we say, oh, he gets his years back and then he gets slooped away in a horrible laboratory and experimented on him, then that's no good. I don't think we need to entertain any more deals. As kind as your offer is, Bavlorna, and as important as those things that we've traded away are, we don't want to find out...

We are similar to our lovely twig here, in a half-measure sort of way, and it becomes a twisted monkey's paw in a normal nightmare. You know what I'm saying? You're saying you're not smart enough to make a deal without any strings attached. It's pretty funny. LAUGHTER

I think we've all had a lot happen today. We're all a little hot during this heat wave. Why don't we all just cool down with a nice popsicle? That's all I'm going to say.

It is time for Mommy Lorna to make her way to her bath. My cracking skin is in desperate need of lubrication. Yeah. So I will take my leave of my new friends, and I will see you again with portrait in tow.

That's perfect. Well, should we, I mean, I'm happy to exchange the three days for the portrait. I think that's totally fair. What do you think? The second portrait you will do? Absolutely.

Then we have a deal. Wow, well, hang on, man. She reaches her hand out to shake your hand. This is a frosty. What if it's like three days from your childhood? You're just a deal fiend. You're going to be filled with regret if you make this deal. Making deals is fun. You're a little addicted to making deals. Just one more? We did okay with twigs? Push the chips across the table. I'm not in. I don't agree. Big words for you.

Sourpuss formed over there. You all have stopped listening to me. He's right. He's right. Do whatever you like. Frunsty is right. I'm not interested. He is kind of a sourpuss, but he's right on this one. He is a sourpuss for good reason this time, finally. All right. I am willing to be overruled on this one. Don't y'all forget it.

- Torbek is so happy he didn't come down to a tiebreaker. Torbek was really worried for a second there. - You can remember this, but it's not like you're doing us a favor not making this deal. We are in this together. - I'm saying if we run out of time, I'm gonna say, "I told you so."

Please go moisturize. With that, I will take my leave. It was a pleasure having you all over for tea. Especially you, Charm.

And she begins to once again, the jerky movement that seems to almost whip through time and space. You watch as she makes her way towards the spiral staircase. Towards a spiral staircase that leads somewhere down beneath her.

Oh boy, I can't wait to get a popsicle. I sprint to the kitchen. As I see Gregor sprint away, I look real quick to see if there are any cookies left. There are four cookies left. One for the road coming, Gregor! And then Torbjörn will follow after. And you all make your way towards the kitchens. Come on, Twigsy, let's go get a popsicle. Okay.

Yeah? Come on right on your back. Yeah, come on up here. She sits on your back. Um, what are these? Oh, uh, what are you talking about? How come they're made of wood? Oh, well, I'm not going to sugarcoat this.

You died, we dealt with a hag, and now you're made of wood. That's kind of the whole thing. I thought it was maybe I had an old bull nightmare. Was it in the rule office space filled with gold and a bunch of stuff and Kremi's dirty old hat? Well, I mean, you know...

Yeah, you were in a room. You were filled with, you know, it was filled with gold. I think some kind of cube. Grammy's hat. Yeah. My band, like, if it was on the ground, maybe. Yeah, so here's the thing. I just...

I kinda wanted everyone to look at me. And she waits until the rest of you leave the room. It's just the two of you in there and maybe Cremmy. Yeah, I- I just- Here's the thing. I just kinda wanted everyone to look at me and go, "Good job, Twig. You did something really cool." "And we- we really appreciate it." And I really felt that way. Until I couldn't breathe. And then- Okay, well, I'll just get out. And then I thought, "Oops." And that was kinda the last thing I thought about outside of- And Gideon, don't tell anyone else this, okay?

Tweez, I'm not going to tell anybody else, but you've been doing really cool stuff this whole time. Thanks. Remember when we almost all died on the bridge and then you shot everybody in the crotch and killed like four people and for whatever reason, you got them clean and half right at the Jimmy John's, you know? That's when you guys told me that was the war?

- You're a war criminal! - That was so fucking cool! - That's delivery. - Yeah, you're a war criminal! You're a goddamn war pig, you know what I mean? You're just blah, blah, blah, man, we're throwing punches. That rabbit was hootin', he was zippin' and divin' and dodgin', touch him! He was in the back, everybody was dead! - She starts waving her arms around and you keep getting hit in the side of the head with the handles of her...

handles of puppeteering. Yeah, remember that other time you licked that frog? Oh yeah, I remember lots of times I licked frogs. I don't have a tongue anymore. So... We'll figure that out. Guess I can't do that no more. Anyway, the last thing I thought of, and you can't tell anyone this, was I love you guys. And that, you know, at least for a while, it just felt really nice to be part of something, you know? Something bigger than a twig.

But guess what? What? Now I'm not even twig no more. Well, you're kind of even more twig-like. I know. Yeah. Now I'm lumber. Now my name's Lumber Toad Spring. No, it's not. Yeah. It's still twig. Well, yeah, I think that's fair. I wasn't going to say it, but when you said it initially, I was like, I thought it sounded really cool in my head.

them sit out loud and thought, nope. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. No, it doesn't. It's not like Twigsy's got a certain thing to it. Yeah, you can't call me Lumsy. That feels weird. It feels definitely weird. It has certain connotations. I'm not sure what they are, but it just feels like it has certain connotations.

I don't know how all of this happened, but thanks for putting me back into, um, I don't know.

The world, I guess. Yeah, I mean, it's no big deal. It's what you do for family. You know, I would have done it for Crammy. I would have done it for Frosty. I would have done it for Little Green. I would have done it for, you know, Big Tuna. I would have done it for... Are we missing somebody? What do you mean? I don't know. I mean, I would have done it for, like, Jingle Jangle. Yeah. Maybe it was what I was thinking. Oh, what about the kids?

No, he's kind of a little weird. Oh, maybe Snappletooth. That's pretty cute. Crocodile Snooze? Yeah, Snappletooth. Yeah. I mean, you know, I would have made certain deals for Snappletooth. I mean, definitely not Morgo. I mean, she was aggressive. Sounds like he caught everybody. Yeah, I think we really checked the box. Oh! I know exactly who you're talking about. I can't believe I forgot.

Hootsie! I would've done it for Hootsie in a heartbeat! Are you kidding me right now? I can't believe you almost forgot. I'm almost going back up there making better deals just for Hootsie to have a cute outfit! How could you big, hairy thing like Hootsie? You know, she's been eating popsicles kinda this whole time. There's been a lot of stuff going on. She's so hairy! She smells weird! How could you ever forget her? I know, I mean, she smells kinda great. You know, I don't even think she smells weird. Yeah, she's kinda weird.

I can't smell anymore. Because I'm made wood. Well, you can't smell anymore? Nope. Ain't smelling nothing. Well, that's going to help out here because it smells like shit. Torbec! Damn it, Torbec! That's where I was pissed. Torbec's like, Torbec senses normality. You know what I also realized? Not only can I not smell, I also can't take a shit.

And then you walk into the kitchen. And as you make your way into the kitchen, it is loud in here. You see that Hootsie is absolutely annihilating an entire bowl of food scraps. She's got rats and vulture parts and, um, coral fish bodies. Um, you can see that there is an array of meat to try to... She is just, uh, that she is just...

Hoochie! I will just lunge forward and just like, just almost like tackle her. If you're gonna make your way back into my kitchen and trail your mess about, you better have been bringing me some of them lornlings to destroy. Oh, thank you. I have such good news besides Hoochie being okay. Did Archie get it? Of course he was okay. What'd you think I was gonna do? Make an albert stew or something? Oh, I'm not a complete degenerate.

I don't know. This is the best day of my life. I was so worried. Hootsie, I thought you were going to be turned into some sort of horrible, like, half-stitched miniature war game. Oh!

Do I remember that Gideon still has a pot on his back that's filled with two Lornelings and a dead Lorneling? Oh! Antibody toes take good care of you, Hootsie. Gosh, you're

I'm just sitting like this at the detailer. Yeah, except Rachel. And bloody Toes! Don't equip it, just sit in here and enjoy. Miss Toes, I have such great news for you two! Thank you so much for taking care of Hootsy and farming-- You're welcome. --these sea cucumber-robbed rectangle trousers popsicles. Not quite sure what you're talking about. And we got you a new job! You're outta here! What do you mean I'm out of here? You're outta here!

Don't play games with my wife. No, no, no, no. I promise, I promise. You're going to get out of here. You're going to live in a castle. It's going to be great. Some shitty guy named Pierre is going to take your place. Yeah. And he's going to be the one who's changing. I'm not under the heel of that haggle. No! Ever. No! Ever of. Ever of.

those little frog fucks together. - No, those little fucks, oh, and Gideon's bringing you little frog fucks, I mean, one of them's already dead. - Yes. - But you got two to smash. - Now we're talking about the Lorne limbs. - Yeah. - My favorite thing to do before I got here was to kill Bullywugs.

I'm finally going to get to smash their heads in night after night after night. Oh, no, we... Because I will no longer be under. You don't need to tell us any of that. You don't need to tell us any of that. I have a thirst for blood and it sounds like you're staking it. No, you keep that inside. She walks towards you and grabs your hands. I think you and I are a kindred spirit. You have a deep-seated hatred inside of us and a lust for killing.

You are unlike anything I've ever met. And if I had a romantic bone in my body, I'd smooch you right now. Oh no, that's too foul. I'm kind of busy being a single dad. It's kind of a full-time job, and I'm having a wild adventure. I just wanted to know that the sentiment was there, even if I'm not going to go ahead and do it. Oh no, I appreciate it. I really appreciate you. You're very nice freckles, I will admit, but...

I mean, we all have thoughts that we think of that we would never plan on acting out. I talk about most of my thoughts because 99% of them are about to kill him. And we obviously don't act on those. If what you're saying is true, if what you're saying is true, this means that I'm going to be able to wet my cap every single night for the rest of my life.

From a certain point of view, say Psycrite now. LAUGHTER Say it. Say it! Well...

Gideon, leave the park. I don't know if you're here yet. Oh, hey, everybody. What have we been talking about? Oh, no, no. We were just going. We were just going. We were just talking about how the Bullywolves are going to be fine. We've overthrown the totalitarian heredital monarchy, and we've established a constitutional republic, and everything is going to be fine.

Well, that's fantastic. I mean, you know, I stepped in here thinking that we were going to mess things up, but everything we put our hands on has gone in this uniformly positive direction. You're right. It's just another common W for us. You know, I was really believing we weren't heroes, you know, and now I'm kind of thinking, like, maybe we are heroes. We're doing a lot of rogue stuff, guys.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Miss Toast, it was very nice seeing you. I'm sure we'll exchange letters at some point. Enjoy your new job. You don't need to tell us about it. You're nothing. I'll make sure to send you letters. Oh, yeah, you can do that if you wanted to. I'm a great pen pal. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know where I'm going to be.

Laugh on the road, single dad, full-time job. There are fake creatures that'll be able to find you no matter where you are or what kind of existence you find yourself on. For the rest of our lives, I'll make sure that we're in constant contact. For you've done something, you've done a great thing for me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not like she's sad about a new job. Yeah, no, no. Let's take a look at the Lorne lens to make sure that they live up to the deal. Oh, yeah. And then I'll tell you what needed to be told. There you go. Here's a giant pod for squishing Lorne lens if that's what you want. I'm going to go eat a popsicle. She opens it. You see a big grin stretch across her face as she closes it.

Those will be for later in my alone time. Oh, that's cool. We all have hobbies we like to do. Our friend is dead in here! We're going to take this last box. Did you not want my part of the deal? You brought me the Lorin Lens and I was going to give you information about the Lorin White Straw that would help you. Oh.

Oh, don't really. It ain't-- Yeah, I mean, sure. Yeah, yeah, we'll take it. It's been a crazy day. All right, well, I never forgo on my end of a deal, so I'll tell you. Bavorna has one weakness. Oh. She's allergic to seeing anyone run with her shins. That's counterclockwise. Oh. Near her. Such a sight causes the hag to sneeze uncontrollably, and she can't function. Oh.

Okay. That's all. Okay. Wow. That's not something he would have been able to find out from anyone who lives here. So it's really lucky for you that you followed through on the end of the deal or you'd never have that information. I know this wasn't part of the deal, but are there any burritos in this tent? You're going to have a hard time finding a burrito in this place. That's what I thought. Well...

Thank you for the critical information. We are going to file that away as important. We'll circle back to that. Enjoy your job. You were a good friend. We'll take these popsicles and the hot to go. And...

"I think it's about time we hit the old dusty trail, big red!" Well, it was lovely to meet you. I hope that you have safe travels. And if we ever see each other again, just know that though I don't have friends, you're the closest thing to it.

Thank you. I'm trying to start to kill you on sight. Thank you, Miss Toes. Yeah, thank you, Miss Toes. It's been a pleasure. Do you have any bird feathers for the road? There's an entire basket by the door filled with bird feathers. Thank you, just a touch before we go. Nice move, little roadie, Mr. Torbjorn. Torbjorn is ready. Okay. How do we get the fuck out of here? Jump or fly at it?

Is there a basket? I went to go out onto the patio, or onto the landing with the stairs, and it looks like they've completely blown away. Your only chance is going to be taking the, yeah, the stairwell downstairs to the bathing room and out the front door. Well, the bathing room is occupied, and I'd prefer not to see that again, so... Uh, why don't we all take wing and fly? I don't know. Should we use one of our monarch charm uses? We only have three.

Beach. Well, yeah. This seems like a ways to walk out the front door. Well, what if we, wasn't there like a giant cable that runs to the ground that's crashed on, you know? Maybe we can zip on down there? Yeah, maybe I'll like swing the chains over them and everyone hangs on and we just kind of like zip towards the ground. I could lily pad. So to get to one of those, you're going to need to take the stairwell downstairs and go through the bathing room and head out to the front lawn where you'll be able to take one of the, well,

The wires back down to downfall. We can just go real quick. How bad could it be? Nobody look. I swear to you, it is unlike anything you've ever seen. We'll go quick. We'll shield our eyes. We'll move quickly. Can you just lily pad us down one at a time? That's probably for the best. I don't think that you want to see...

What I've seen. No, I meant just to the second, to the next floor. I think we just walk down the fucking stairs. Oh, fair enough. Yeah, let's walk out. No, don't follow me. Don't peek. I just kind of... I felt like I was picking on a vibe. Was I totally way off on that? I mean, you know, I don't see it. Like, invitation by omission? Yeah.

Didn't she literally just say, like, oh, there's a bedroom, and maybe I was just horrified by sitting next to that charm creature. Trusty, I mean, I would normally, I mean, normally I would question you because you would try to fuck a swan boat. Yes, I feel like I'm very good at picking up on clues. But this time you might be right. Well, Miss Itos, it's been a pleasure. I'll call you

Whatever we may be. Farewell. You can go ahead and get out of my kitchen now. Okay. We got the heart, we got the skull. Okay, goodbye. You go down the stairs? You make your way down the stairs. And you enter out into the room. You can hear the sounds of splashing as Bavlorna and the Lornlings, uh,

very many Lorna links splash about in the pool none of them well none of them seem to notice you or if they do they don't seem to care as Bavlorna bathes I would say for the for the sake of it one of you does to get a little curious and looks Bavlorna is in a bathing gown

and is not, she's not nude, but you can see that her skin is no longer cracked, but has the subtle wet sheen of a frog. And she looks happier and younger as she bathes in this water. If Nikki had picked Torbek, I was going to ask if I could roll to regurgitate every cookie that I asked for.

All our feathers, everything. And Gideon Offord's over there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Yes, that is fortunate. I'm covering Hootsie's eyes. And you are able to make your way outside. The wind is picking up here, but you do see the single clothesline that stretches all the way down to Downfall. There is no bucket like there had been when you'd come up. You remember that that had made its way back down to the base after you had vacated its premises. But it is there if you can find some means of taking it.

Hey weird guys! You still down there? Try tugging the rope. There must be a way to call the bucket. Gideon, why are you making that noise? Hey, what, no, I was just talking about maybe, you know, like, I just thought, no, no reason, no reason. I just thought, you know, maybe they'd hear it. I don't know. It's very train-y. Are you fucking kidding me? What?

It actually takes a while, but it seems like it works. As eventually, out of the clouds, you do see a bucket begin to move up the wire. Ah, it worked! I knew it! Nice job! Well, you know, sometimes you just gotta give them a little bit of the old tug. Duly noted! Well, here we go, everybody. The bucket's up. We just pile on in, head down.

Wow. And still find Clapperclaw. Clapperclaw. And that depressing guy. Yes, yes, let's make that as brief as possible. Oh, do we have to? I forgot about that guy. Well, maybe we can go, like, in the middle of the night and just, like, leave his heart on the doorstep and leave so we don't have to see how it works out. Oh!

Oh man, you got the right idea. I hate that guy. You all say this as you embark upon your journey down from Valglorna's hut. You had made your way to this place with the expectation that leaving it, there would be one less hag in the Feyworld. And yet, somehow, you are leaving it with your very best friend in puppet form having just suffered a horrific death.

and a deal with this hag, now aligned with her in some way, against her sisters. And how this will fare for you, it's hard to tell. As you all take most of this ride in silence, thinking about the events that have unfolded, what is laid out ahead of you?

And you do eventually arrive at the platform, the tower, at the base of this rope. And there are no Bullywugs to be seen. Whoever sent this bucket up toward the house is no longer present. But you're able to disembark and make your way wherever it is that you choose to go within town. All right. Leave the way.

That really got out of hand. I'm just gonna say it. That escalated quickly. Tormek found a grenade. What? Hey, what'd you put that heart in, by the way? Oh.

I put it in my pocket. It's got a bootsy hair stuck to it. I don't feel like that's gonna work. You didn't leave it in the box? Yeah, didn't last time I turned you into a Gricko soon. Do you all mean have picture and deliver things to people? Hell yeah! Can Big Gene take the heart?

Yeah, we'll go wrap it up in a box or something. Oh, that would be amazing. I think for the sake of brevity, we might as well just do it that way. What do you think? Yeah, I think that's great. Yeah, yeah. Oh, what does Pink Chimney look like now? Well, I don't know. I haven't seen her since I woke up. I'm going to need like 10 minutes. Okay, we could take 10 minutes. Can I even do it? Do I even have...

Fillories anymore? I hope so. What if I'm just a wooden twig? Oh no! Oh my gosh. Is there any wildlife around? Yep. Squirrels? Swamp squirrels. Why don't you try blowing up that squirrel over there? I would never! You can pick any target and try to blow it up. It doesn't need to be a live thing. Perhaps that's-- Oh, that possum over there! What do you think? I like possums!

Wait a minute, who's that in that boat playing the fiddle? Is that Jeremy? You can shoot Jeremy. Oh, you want me to shoot that cicada over there? Yeah, he's way too big and photorealistic for a fantasy adventure. I don't like bugs. You sure? Yeah, take him out. Take a shot, Twigsy. Take him, Twigsy, take him. The natural 20. Jeremy. With a natural 20.

Twig begins to channel her magic and at first you see nothing, but eventually you do see the swirling green magics that Twig has always channeled. The swampy, murky magics that she twirls beneath her hands as she shoots out this blast of eldritch magic.

or in her case, fey magic. And you watch as the splinters of the boat fly up into the air and Jeremy says, Finally alone. Where I can play my music best. As I went down to the fucking beach. Whoa!

Oh, bite it! Right on the leg! Whoa! He's got that cannon arm! Oh my god! His purpose got closed!

I think you got him right in the crotch, too. That's where I aim for. How is that better than the squirrel? Oh, he's not with us anymore. No, he should have went down. I saw right before

He had those brown pants on. He like unzipped his carapace. You see a fiddle floating in the water. Oh, it's fiddle. Oh, there it is. Gosh. Oh, Mrs. Jeremy's going to be so upset. Oh, I don't think that was. Oh, Mrs. Jeremy. Give me the guy who's got a date in 30.

30 years! He was just married to his music and his swear words. He didn't have any personality at all. He's a mean old bastard. Well, I feel like we've come full circle. I feel like we've really gotten here. Here's a big tune. Look, she's a stuffed town. Oh.

As opposed to a real pig. She's a stuffed pig. Don't cut her open because her stuffing's going to fall out and then I'll have to summon her again. Victoria, are you able to deliver these things to the people that we don't want to RP going out in a meeting? Wait, so you want me? Oh, yeah, speaking of not having to RP with people you don't want to have to RP with, I could deliver that skull to Cleverclaw because guess what? I know how to get to Thither.

because of my inn. That would be so narratively convenient. That's really clean. I could have taken you there the day that we met if you'd just ask me nicely. Did we not? It was like the first words out of our mouth. Like, hey, we're trying to get to this. I think I

I might have been distracted by the fact that Torbic came over and destroyed my inn. So maybe the lines of communication were

To be fair, our whole equal blame is Torbjorn for destroying the Renwald, transformed into a Zog-Zog-Waltz. That's true, he was a Zog-Zog-Waltz. I Zog-Zogged, I Zogged, and I Zogged. You destroyed that team, Kevin. You're going at it. Yeah. Are you sure that we don't want to talk to Clamber and Law? I feel like I had many questions about Gehenna, especially, and I feel like there's a whole war dump that we missed. Yeah.

Clapperclaw's like the one NPC I did want to tell. I have a feeling we'll see Clapperclaw again in the future. Clapperclaw's sitting with dangling feet off of a dock and Samuel Jackson walks in. It's hyper-realistic, Samuel Jackson. Oh, God.

Oh god. Screen, screen, Venom. Alright, well, that all seems like a very tighty, to be completely honest. Yeah, it makes it really narratively convenient for the god of the world. Yeah, I mean, it's already been 42 sessions, if you can count it in that, and we're only in the first world. And I read a story once where someone did this with their group in five sessions.

Is that true? That's impossible. I owe you a help, Bones. Well, okay, Big Tunia, here's a giant stag skull, and here's a beating heart that's very cold. You got that? You got that? Looks like she's got it, so we just have to send her on her way.

Is there anything else we need to do? No, today just went really well. I mean, everything just kind of came up Torbjörn. There's no way this could ever go wrong or end on a cliffhanger. I agree. Perhaps could we send Pictonia after she delivers the gifts to grab the small crocodile that's owned by the king? Or is that right out?

I mean, I feel like that we'd have to RP and then that wouldn't be narrative anymore. Snail number two! You've been waiting this whole time! There's a snoodle on your back, boy! Snail number two, okay, we're gonna go on an adventure, but you're too big, so I'm gonna grab this saddle. It's like Mario getting damaged. He turns real small and I'll just pick him up. Okay, you can sit on me shoulder.

Does that happen? No. Very quickly, should we go and kill Pierre so that Bloody Toes doesn't get killed? What the hell? Why would you kill Pierre? Because then there will be no one to replace Bloody Toes and she won't go on a killing spree, probably ending most of Downfall.

How would she do that? Because she's a murderer. You didn't hear her before you came back, but Bloody Toes is a fan of killing Bullywugs. It's all she's going to do when she comes out. Oh, man. What are the chances? This is a very interesting place for it to be. I'll do it if we can do it in a Wes Anderson-style Fantastic Mr. Fox comical heist scene where we...

put on silly masks and we sneak in and we brutally kill chickens, right? But instead of chickens, it'll be Pierre. And then we'll have a wacky comical escape. It'll be fine. Can we have a quick Pierre killing montage? Is that really what you guys would like to do? Torbjorn's not so sure. Torbjorn ate a lot of cookies. And...

I'm standing there like huffing. There's like, uh, there's colorful ice cream stains running down. I don't know. I have to throw a bag of popsicles.

I don't think I'm up for a heist. The color palette starts getting really warm. All of a sudden, we're in a perfectly straight line, and we're symmetrical. Oh god. We don't do that. We don't. You send the gifts out to Coral Heartsrai and to Clapperclaw.

And you know that you don't need to wait for Pig Tunia, that Pig Tunia will find you. But you do have a choice to make. Do you stay another night in Downfall, or do you begin your journey to Thither Now? We've already wasted a lot of time. A lot of nights. We only have limited days left to do what we need to do for the King of Parks. We made a deal. And we've been making a lot of those, and I'd like to keep all of our promises. Also, can I just say, it feels like we're...

We're really... Like, we're doing well. I feel good about what just happened. But does anyone else have the feeling at all that we just keep kicking the can down the road where we got in this mess from making a bad deal with Mr. Guru? And so to help us with our deal with Mr. Guru, we make the deal with the King of Hearts. And then that gets all fucked up. And then to help us with our deal with the King of Hearts, we make the deal with Bavlona. I feel like we're in...

Don't forget the deal you made with Madrick Grosloff. Ah! The deal with Madrick Grosloff! The deal with Mr.Guru, and then to help with the deal with Madrick Grosloff is the King of Hearts, and then to help with the deal with the King of Hearts is Bavlorna. When does it end? I tried to end it with Bavlorna. We were talking about removing, uh, ending all of our various, uh, deals with the, uh, Darklings. We could have gotten 100,000 gold and just been on our merry fucking way. They don't deal in gold pieces, Efrost.

That's not their style. I don't know, they probably have the ability to conjure gold. It's like we're in a multi-level marketing scheme. It's like when Neil hit me up and wanted to hang out and talk about chocolate bars. I hadn't seen him and I'm like, "Oh, don't be nauseous, get in touch with Neil." And he's like, "Oh, that's a great business opportunity. Don't you want to hustle and get rich?"

You can get a car. Any second deal we did with that, Bavlorna would have ended in more twistery. It also sounds like we'll have to avoid a deal with Scabbath before we steal the paintings back.

Maybe that woman can kill me. Yeah, well, I really need it. I need some kind of outlet. We can kill her first, and then we'll shenanigan the rest of the dungeon. Yeah, I really think that's going to work. I appreciate that approach. I have a feeling that the portrait of Bavlorna is going to be extremely hot.

She loves all things ugly. She thinks of herself that way. It's probably like a reverse Dorian Gray scenario. Don't you agree? I don't know what that is, but... Like she hates it because it's basically a pin-up picture? Exactly. Oh. And you know, Gideon, I agree that you do need an outlet. So before we go, why don't we just swing by an establishment? We can go to Wendy's. Wendy's. Wendy's? Yeah, we can...

What do you mean? Go ahead and do what at Wendy's? I was just checking. Why are you saying it like that? What do you mean? What am I saying? He said Wendy's. No, he said Wendy's. Wendy's. Go by Wendy's. I thought maybe just Wendy's. In case Charm dying, maybe. Anyway, never mind. Let's go. Let's go to the zoo. Let's go. I agree. I was excited about Wendy's. If you have the ability to...

transport us there via your inn at the end of the road. Yeah, I mean it's gonna take some time, 'cause the inn's gotta walk, but yeah, we can go. Wait, is the inn unchanged since your tragic death? I don't know, could I have my bag back, Gideon? Oh yeah, here you go. Take that, sir. Are we ready? Do you have anything else in mind? No.

Morgo's fine. The king's fine. I ain't got nothing up there no more. That goat guy's fine. And whatever happens with Bloody Toast is out of our hands and it's nobody's fault. What the fuck are you talking about? No, I'll get it. Let's go. Smash the smash button into a surgery room. We couldn't save Pierre.

With that, Twig opens up the acorn satchel and you watch as in front of you begins to unfurl the inn at the end of the road. The long roots that stretch out beneath it that propel it forward like legs of its own. Um...

prop it up above the murk of the swamp, and the door swings open invitingly. You're immediately met with the smells of the inn, Twig's Inn, that same autumnal, cozy scent that you are so familiar with, and the warm glow of the hearth is already burning as Twig ushers you all into her home, and you spill into it.

You make yourselves cozy for the trip and you watch out the windows occasionally as downfall rushes past you, as the inn at the end of the road propels itself forward much faster than you expected it to. When it came up to you initially, it was moving slowly through the muck, but it is moving with a haste you didn't expect it to have. And all the while you enjoy tea,

and more cookies and stew as Twig, in her puppet form, in her marionette form, bounces about her kitchen as if nothing at all was amiss. And you all relax for the first time in a while. Until eventually, the signs of the swamp begin to fade away. It is no longer the swamp that you see outside of the windows, but dark, looming trees.

been at first one large tree here mixed in between the mangrove trees still embedded a little bit in swamp yet somehow thriving then eventually more and more as they get thicker and thicker and thicker until you find yourself looking out in what appears to be a dense deep dark forest you hear the sounds of birds another forest life

completely different from the swamp. You can hear the sound of the wind rushing through the leaves of the trees and the crunch of branches and twigs beneath the movement of the inn. One of the windows opens a little. You can feel not the wet, hot, almost oppressive air of the swamp,

but a nice crisp air as it blasts in through the open window and chills your skin for just a moment. The heat from the fireplace helps to keep it at bay. And eventually, the inn comes to a stop. Looks like we're here. The inn's not gonna travel much further into thither. It's more acclimated right now with the legs, as you see, to swamp terrain, so we're gonna have to go on foot for a while.

Gonna need at least 24 hours for the inn to acclimate to thither. Before we can use it this way again for travel. But we're at least here. Right on the edge. Right on the border. You see those two trees there? Those two really big trees with the faces carved in either side of them? One... One is... Wildman, I guess. They have a name for many names. And the other one is...

Well, the forest maiden. They have names, too. The way they stare at each other across this path, that's... that's the demarcation line. We have to walk between their gazing eyes to get into thither. Oh, did we? It's kind of pleasant here. Isn't that weird? Look at all of the moss. It's... jumpy, kinda. You can bounce on it, almost like a trampoline.

A lot better than the swamp. Great work, Twigsy. Thanks. I didn't make it up, Spiky. What was the name of the maiden you mentioned? Oh, I just know her as a forest maiden. She's got many names, but the people of Wither will be able to help you with that more than I can. Hmm.

Forest maiden in the wild. She's symbolized by a moon a lot of times. And he's symbolized by the sun. Oh, sun and what? Moon. It's kind of like that doll you got, Torbjorn. Oh, I wonder if that doll was inspired by them. Could be. As you see a resemblance from Mr. Mooney.

I would take a look at the faces on the trees and see if it sparks any recollection to the marionette in my sack. There are definitely similarities. It doesn't look like however these trees were created, whether they were carved or not. It doesn't look like it was the same artist, but you imagine there was probably inspiration drawn. Hmm.

Torbek is getting a heavy sense of impressionism with the art piece in his sack. What? That's what I call mine, too. Torbek said what Torbek said. That's very cultured of you, Torbek. With that, Twig ushers you all out and closes the door. Goodbye, and see you later. Goodbye. And with a snap of her finger...

the inn turns into a satchel that she puts over her shoulder. So long, twig! Well, I guess the only way to go is forward.

Yeah. Through those trees? Through those trees. Through those trees. Ah, we forgot to reunite Willa with all the other ghost kids. You know, I knew there was something bugging me on that dream. Well, you gotta go back at some point. Just tell Pigtonia to do it. Right. How are we gonna do that in the first place? I'm pretty sure we made some sort of promise. Well, I'm sure we'll still go back to it. Wouldn't we have to kill Bavlona to do that?

From a certain point of view, there's always time, Gideon! There's always time! Listen, we're playing the calendar, man! I mean, we have a clean-up one, we'll probably deal here, we'll go to the third, no deals left, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, this is like a Donkey Kong 64 adventure, where there's a lot of backtracking, so, you know. On the way back, it's all downhill. We just take them all down at once. Yeah. Oh, efficient. Okay, but are we ready?

Oh, yes! Yeah, Poochy, you ready? Okay. Can you guys follow me then? Just one foot in front of the other until we get past those two trees. And Twig begins to walk. There is a mist accumulating at your feet, and it has been for a while. As you get to the point of intersection between hither and thither, and you make your way past these trees.

And as you do, the mists part to reveal a primeval forest. Fragrant breeze wafts between the enormous trees, sending motes of pollen dancing into the air. Patches of sunlight kiss the forest floor and the sweet melody of birdsong echoes all around you. As you all begin to change, your bodies begin to shrink and twist. You watch as Twig looks at you in concern and horror.

As all of you are now staring eye to eye with this marionette girl. Gideon, you look towards Cremie. And where Cremie had stood, there is now a mushroom man. A man made of fungus. A toadstool calf. Cremie, you look towards Torbeck. And where there had been fur, there is now just fungal flesh. And I'll say for the sake of ease, you would all know what these creatures are. A campestrii.

Mushroom Kid. All of you have become one. And that is where we'll end the session. Holy shit. We're mushroom people. And you're level four. Oh! Five! You're level five. Yeah! We did it! We did it! Power spot!

You will all have for the next session a new stack block to account for the fact that you are all campestry. No way. Campestry. Campestry. Campestry. Campestry. Campestry.

Campestrian soda. Wow. Only 160 hours of game time. You ate a lot of cookies, though. Easy money. I'm going to level up right now. If you don't start next session by saying we all look like a bunch of fun guys. I'm leaving. Draco hasn't spoken yet.

Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud of Versaltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash legendsofavantris. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avantris community, join us on Discord at legendsofavantris.com forward slash discord.

We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at legendsofavantress.com forward slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5e supplement published by us. Get your own copy at thecrookedmoon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.