Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 25 | The One Where Fire Gets Purged
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Morning Frost and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Julia, look! It's Newfoundownfall! Oh, they must go see the king! It's more like a swamp city, so you notice that most of the structures are built on stilts. He seems to be in some sort of, uh, perhaps a trance or vision or a torpik.

We're back. I guess this is a good reminder for none of us to drink Florian spit. Why don't you fix the balloon if you can, and why don't you get a sense if you can drive the thing or fly the thing, whatever it is. She said you? No, man. Listen, we just, well, who's she? Avalorna Blatstra? Oh, no, she didn't send us. We came here to kill her. A fairy dragon was locked in a cage by Avalorna, and somehow...

Gotten into cahoots with two bully wugs of the Soggy Corps. One of them was Morgo, the other one was Wigglewog. Was it some kind of like rising up against a Babylonian? Some kind of like freedom fighter? I don't know what you're talking about. Plessy stands in front of you now. This water looks awfully treacherous.

It would be a shame if someone was so klutzy to fall in. I want to drown inside of this idiot. The three of you land into the murky water with a splash. Feel a hand, a large hand around your waist as you're ripped from the water. Be safer next time.

Pats and poops and pats and poops, pats and poops. Hey, how about you try not to fucking jinx us next time we gotta walk across like crazy mossy rocks and there's carnivorous fish people all around. Oh, uh, it's a hot air balloon factory and it's on fire. A distressed bullywug in a leather smock scurries around the room with a bucket of water. Grab a bucket! We have to make sure the fires are out!

You have begun making your way through the city of Downfall, the murky swamp town that exists in the very edges of Hither, right next to the Queensway, the broken, dilapidated bridge that previously led straight from the other regions of the Feywild directly to Zibilna's castle, but has now fallen into disrepair.

And upon making your way to Downfall, you have encountered a handful so far of its denizens.

And it is here, as you're making your way through the city itself, that you have stumbled upon the burned-out balloon factory. You were told to make your way to this place by one of the many denizens of Hither, an elderly bullywug that gave you quite a bit of information about what to expect here.

And he did warn you that there was the burned out balloon factory that could use a bit of help. Almost as if wanting you to come here for one reason or another. And as you step up to it, you see that this wooden structure stands on stilts above the lake. It is topped by a steep conical roof made of thatch.

Smoke curls up from a hole at its apex. Its windows are blacked out and the air carries the smell of burned wood. A clothesline attached to one corner of the building's exterior is hung with a variety of frayed and patchwork garments. You do make your way up the creaking wooden steps. You open the door to find that this room is a charred mess. Hazy smoke hangs over scattered piles of burned and broken shelves intermixed with whatever those shelves contained.

Wisps of smoke snake into the air from several spots where smoldering wreckage threatens to ignite. A distressed bullywug in a leather smock scurries around the room with a bucket of water whose contents spill out over the sides in haste.

Upon seeing the light filter in through the open door, he quickly turns and looks at you. And without even a second's hesitation, he begins to point to a corner where you see a wooden bench. Atop it are multiple wooden buckets that are spilling over with murky swamp water. As he waves his hand in that direction, he yells out towards you, um,

Get the buckets. You must help me. We have to put these fires out so we can get these balloons working again. Oh, God. Chop, chop. Hurry. Hurry. All right. Can you take care of this? You're all fire-related, right? Yeah. Can you absorb it or something? It's perfect. I've got absolute control over fire. No time for talking. We must get these fires out, lest the kindling form together.

together again and oh god oh no fire and all speciality and he begins to panic and run around he's running all over the place as he's taking a bucket and just throwing it into corners and you see little bits of fire extinguish into puffs of smoke

It's a lot to take in all at once, but as your eyes adjust to the darkness and to what's going on, he no longer seems to pay much attention to you. As he continues the business of putting out the fires, you begin to notice that there are fires popping up here and there, and just as soon as he puts one out, another one appears. And your eyes begin to move towards multiple areas around the room.

six that really stand out to you, where there is a small burning ember and occasionally it'll flash with light and a bit of flame will pop out and begin to dance, skitter across the floor, almost as if moving on its own accord before something in the room ignites and he rushes over to douse the flame. I'll hustle and I'll just run over to a bucket where he motioned to.

I was like, okay, I'll just use one of these. I'll toss it on the sapphire. And what is the radius of the flames? What do you mean by the radius of the flames? So how much of an area are the flames covering? It's not fully... It's not as if this place is...

has been fully ignited. There are little bits of fire that pop up and just as quickly as they pop up, he's dousing the flame. They're just not stopping. Something's burning in the Thatch Roof Cottage. If he were to stop filling the buckets and dousing the flames, you imagine that within maybe 10 to 15 minutes, the entire thing would be up in flames.

Okay, okay. It's like in the cartoons with the classic leaks where they put the thumb over it and then like another one pops up and then he puts the thumb over it and then another one pops up and he's... I will lift one of the buckets with my mind and I will put out one of the flames to see if I can get in front of this cascading fire effect that's happening, but I'm keeping an eye on the coal. Okay. Which one?

Oh, which cult? So what you've noticed in just once your eyes adjusted to everything, you looked around there about six areas where it looks like there is a burning ember. Not six flames, six burning embers. Burning embers. And what you notice is that at random intervals,

A lick of fire will spit up out of it and it looks as almost like it hits the floor, begins to dance or move in a way you wouldn't expect flame to move. And then shortly after, something else in the room will ignite and fire and he has to rush over and douse the flame. There's something about these embers here on the floor. I think they're making the fire continue to pump up over the surface of this factory.

Oh, it is fire, Frosty! No, no, no, no. Look closely. That's usually how embers work, man. They create fire and set wood on blaze. It's almost as if there's some sort of intelligence behind these embers. I'm going to attempt to douse one in one of these buckets of water. Do you have any objections? Well, can't you? I've seen you deal with fire before, right? Can't you do something? I pull out my ocarina. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-

Well, let me give it a try. And I'll burst into flames myself.

As I begin to reach out and try and connect with the fire licking up all around me, energy coursing through my body, the form I'll usually take as I create into fire myself, as I begin to try and draw it into me to quell the fire all around. No!

Oh fuck man, I forgot I could only make it bigger! Oh, he's produced flame and increased the size of one of the fires around me. ♪ It'll take a lot to drag me away from you ♪ ♪ There's nothing that a hundred men will ever do ♪ And I cast Creator Destroy Water and create a 30-foot cube of rain that douses

a 30-foot cube, and it douses exposed flame in the area that it falls upon. And I will try to basically aim it, as basically there will be a spectral thunderbird that almost looks like pterodactyl-esque, as a boom of thunder will crash out as I summon that spirit, and a rain cloud will form as rain will fall. Oh, here we go.

- What you do, I imagine happens first. - Yes. - Okay. - That is meaningfully important. - I'm waiting for him to fuck up. And then basically that's why I started as he was doing it. And so then if it fucks up, basically the rain exploding. - I was waiting for him to fuck up. - It's fucked up, man. Kremit, didn't you always say fight fire with fire?

Well, no, I got confused. I thought you had control flame, not produce flame. Ah, fuck! That was so important. It's so just that one thing, you know, definitions, define your terms, is what we always say. The Bullywug,

seems not at all to be paying attention to what you're doing. So engrossed in this work, uh, as you, you look at him for, for a moment and you can see that the leathers that he's wearing are worn and, um, and, and wet, they're covered in sweat. He has been working and working and working for who knows how long he looks exhausted. He has dark bags under his eyes. Um, he, um,

He's breathing heavily, his face is covered in soot, the ends of the little bit of hair that he has on the top of his head are singed. Where eyebrows would be, they have been clearly charred away. The work that he's been doing in here must have been taking up all of his time for who knows how long, and he is not stopping until the work is done. He doesn't even seem to notice as Gideon begins to channel his innate flame ability.

And you watch as all of the fire begins to enlarge for just a moment. The embers, the six embers on the floor glowing incredibly bright, nearly blinding that core in the center, that bright white core of the flame, illuminating this room in a quick flash of brilliant light as a rain cloud forms ahead and water begins to rush down.

all of the individual flames are completely snuffed out and you hear for a second, a quick huffing and are they gone? ♪ I'll bless the rains down in Nagaka ♪ - Is it over? - Gonna take some time. - Are they finally gone? - As the embers themselves illuminate again and you hear inside of your head, one of us, one of us,

- One of us. - Traitor. As the fire begins to be doused by the water, the one of us chanting is immediately stopped as you begin to hear chittering. - Everyone heard that? - Only you. And you watch as the embers slowly collapse for a second before blinding light again.

and flames whip out this way and there. 12 large pops and crackles as you see these tiny little flame sprites jolt out of the embers and begin to skitter all around. You hear inside of your head, not one of us, enemy, traitor, fire traitor, form the master.

I need you all to roll for initiative. Yeah, sick 'em! Well, here we go. Wild dogs cry out in the night. How dare you say I'm betraying fire? Lauren, if you could put these just randomly dispersed around you in a 40 by 40 foot square.

- Are they cute like the Pandaren flame straights? - They are absolutely adorable. They're very cute. And as you see them jump out, Frost, I would say with your intelligence, you're easily able to see that the strange dancing and movement of the flames was exactly this. They were not flames that were being produced from these embers, but these tiny little fire sprites that were being

that were erupting out of these embers one right after the other. Anytime one was doused, the ember itself would produce yet another one. And at this point, there are six that have now been produced around you, and they are all moving and dancing. The way that they're beings and entities of pure flame, the way that they move is...

almost like a hypnotic undulation, and you try to pry your eyes from them, but you find that they are difficult to look away from. I need you all to roll a charisma saving throw. You were right again, Fros, but you're surrounded by idiots. Mace or Rich, once you're done, grab the campfires from the campfire lights.

- 19 for initiative. - I need the charisma saving throw for this. - Oh, first, oh, okay. - I should have asked. - I'm gonna do the tiny one for charisma. - I'm gonna see if I have battle music, but I always forget to have battle music. - This little guy doesn't roll too high. - Initiative is 12, well, I'll... - Natural 19. - Oh, charisma? - Plus zero. - I need charisma first. - This is so good, all right? Thank you so much. - I failed six. - Okay. - 16. - 18 charisma. - Okay. - 19 charisma.

You look as the... The Bullywug that was in here. He seems to be...

entranced by the flame for a moment, but he steals himself. He's exhausted. He's had enough of this. He's been staring into the flame for God knows how long, and he will not succumb to its allure. And he pries his eyes away from it, and he skitters to one side of the room, and he finds a corner and a table that he—

turns and hides behind. Twig and Frost, however, stare into the flame.

one particular dancing fire sprite has captivated them, and as the fire sprite begins to actually dance and spin and twirl, Frost and Twig are so entranced by it, you are, for all intents and purposes, charmed, hypnotized. On your turn, you are forced to move

your speed towards this fire sprite, and you cannot take any actions against it. You can repeat the save at the beginning of your turn. Oh, thank you. After movement, of course. That makes sense. Oh, okay. They look like the red and white fish from Fantasia. Beautiful. Initiative. Initiative rolls. Oh. Cleo from Fantasia.

A dirty 20. 12. I got 15, so I'm gonna hit a Gideon. 12, but Gideon can go first. What did you get? You got 13? Yeah, that's correct. Okay, so that's the order. Easy. Oh, I forgot they were slotted. That's quite nice.

And you got 13? Yeah, 15. Or 15. I got 15. Okay, well, they got an 18, so. Perfect. So 20, 18, 15, 12, and 12. 12 and 12. And poor Twig with a 9. The entire room illuminates with light as all of you are overcome with the...

the hypnotism of these entities. Gideon, in your head you still hear a spattering of voices as they're talking over each other. You can hear just in your innate fire, the innate fire in your being, it's almost as if you can communicate with them and you can hear what they're saying to you. They are now incredibly distrusting of you as they believe that you were here to destroy.

And that is what happens. You watch as Twig is...

Slowly moving towards one of these fire things, Frost is staring intently at one of them as it dances. And Frost, it is your turn. You must move towards whichever one's closest to you. I'm close to two at the same time. I'll move onto the square? Yeah, yeah, you can share space with it. They're very small. They're tiny. Okay, I move into the square. I'm just saying nothing. Totally hypnotized. Hmm. Hmm.

And then I make another Christmas saving throw? Fire. It looks like you could light a kettle to pour over Geek Grind coffee. Use code LEGEND20 for 20% off your first purchase. Link in the description. Should this be in the middle between all of us? Yeah, probably. It's just easy. Oh, yes. It's going to be a 16.

Sixteen. You make your way into the space with this fire spray and you stare down into it, this tiny little entity, no larger than the palm of your hand. As it swirls and dances, it begins to rise up into the air almost as if it is walking on smoke.

and it swirls around your head doing these beautiful elaborate movements. And just as it makes its way into directly to face you, it smiles at you with its large burning ember eyes. And you blink, you realize this is not something that you should be fooling with. But its grin is right there in front of your face. Sharp teeth.

anger on its face as flames whip out around it because you are in its space on your turn. I wonder if I'm gonna take some damage. You are. Oh, shit. You are going to take three points of fire damage as the flames whip around it. And it seems to almost drink in your pain.

as you reel back from the flames, and you are what is considered ignited, and so please notate that you are ignited. I'm gonna write the word "ignited." Roll for ignited. I'm gonna put little Bernie symbols on top of it, too. That's neat. I like that. That's good. I'm ignited, and I'll...

The sprites are hot. Shit, of course they are. They're dangerous. Watch out! And you may continue the rest of your turn. And as soon as that happens-- Because I'm using Derek's Icebound rules because I thought those were good. I really like the beginning of the turn. It's very rewarding. It does feel better than making you lose an entire turn. Yeah, a lose your whole turn should be like a high level spell in my opinion.

And as soon as that happens, I will lash out with my mind and I will produce a ball of what is clearly very white-blue energy this time and collapses into almost like a snowball. And I produce this orb that I can throw and as I do that, I crush it trying to hit the first sprite while doubling it and sending another one flying to the one to my left.

Okay, okay, okay. I just need numbers. Those are sorcerer points. In case you were wondering. Tygen would know that. Tygen would know that those are sorcerer points. And no, it's my psionic beans. And I'm gonna make a ranged spell attack. Oh, if it's a ranged spell attack-- That's disadvantaged on the one that's in front of you, yeah. Really? Mm-hmm. We got twists.

because it's not ranged. He's in melee range with that. Technically, we've been doing it wrong, is that you're disadvantaged on all attacks. Even if you went to another one, someone up in your face. You're engaged. You're engaged. Which I learned relatively recently. I think that's fair, though. That makes a lot of sense. Because if there was a goblin attacking you right here, you'd be like, no, no, it's cool. Yeah, exactly.

- Do you think? - Just slice my ankles, fuck you. - Just slice my ankles, I get a 19 with the disadvantage. - Nice, on what numbers? - On number that looks like a two. - Six or nine. - Six. - It's a six. - Six and two. - There are no nines. - And then I am also on disadvantage on number two, which I will now attack at disadvantage, which is going to look like a hot fire, thanks Amazon Jane.

That's gonna be a 18 to hit. - Yeah, that does hit, yes. - That's loaded dice, thanks for that. - So both of them hit, so that's going to be, and now I actually have the 3d8 that I need in order to make this occur because of my new fancies. And it's gonna be big money. That's gonna go with 18 points of cold damage to the first sprite. - Holy shit. - And, Jesus, well, 19 points of cold damage to number two.

You all watch as Frost hypnotically moves towards this fire sprite, and as he gets into the space with it, it lashes out at him, and as he reels back in pain, you see his eyes clear and his mind focus as he channels not one, but two icy orbs and throws them around the room in

In an instant, you watch as these two sprites are, they collide with the ice and as fire and ice mix, they burst and pop as both of them disappear, completely decimated. Gideon, in your head, you hear, "No, traitor, create the master."

Frosty, are you calling me a traitor in my head? What? No. Use cold against them if you will. That's probably not good advice for you. Oh, shit. I was worried about that, man. It is the fire sprites. They are going to move to whoever's closest. Uh...

And then we'll do one on Twig. So everyone but Natasha and Frost. Twig will get hit. Gricko does a 17 hit.

17 hits, but I am going to grab the totem of the rook and I am going to, spectral wings are going to block the biz. I use the gift of the metallic dragon. Actually, no, it's not on shield. Let me make sure and see how it works. No, you increase your AC. Well, that's specifically the golden one. A metallic one.

- Yeah, plus two AC. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it's a reaction? - It's a reaction, yep. My AC becomes 19. And these two massive spectral wings will cover. - I'm gonna use a Dread and reroll. - Boom! - Oh! - And does a 23 hit. - Yeah. - The wings shatter!

This one's gonna be for Crummy. Probably pull up my... Does a 21 hit? Oh yeah. And then Gideon. So does... I love Gift of the Metallic Dragon. 19? 19 hits. All right. You watch as Twig, one of these, all of these entities move towards you and they begin to dance.

and they all whip around quickly, and in a ring of fire, you are all blasted by their magics. Twig takes quite a bit of damage as her hair is singed and her apron begins to crackle and pop with dancing flame. She is, all of you gained the one charge of ignition. You're all ignited.

- Oh. - Gricko, you take four points of damage. Cremie, you take one point of damage. Gideon, you take four points of damage. - Is it fire damage? - It is fire damage. - Oh my God. - But you still have ignition. - You have two ignition? - I have two ignition? - No, you have one. - Or no, who got ignited before? - Frost. - Okay, got it, got it, got it. - What does ignition do? - I guess you'll find out. - Oh, all right. - I'm gonna mark one for one level of ignition. - Thank you.

And with that, that is all of their turns. Crammy. Oh, me. Okay. You immediately feel the fire lick at you. You are within range of it. You're going to take four more points of fire damage and get another stack of ignition. Oh, God. Oh, they stack. That's good.

It probably increases the die size of the damage would be my wager if I were gonna design this encounter. We already, did we take damage already? Or should I be at full health? We just took damage. Not just now. Oh, just now. I only get half health right now. Okay, no, no, no. Oh, I think, no, I was low. I had a resource used and I was two hit points down. Yeah, yeah, we haven't had a... You fought Agdon Longscarf and haven't had a long rest since. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's five damage total. Mm-hmm.

And then do I need to do anything else or I'm just burning? I'm on fire. Do I give him like another stack of ignition or anything? Yes, you have two. You now have two ignition. Okay. So I'll burn for 2d4 next time maybe? No. No. You don't know. I have a guess. I have a guess what's happening. You're not the DM. You don't know. I have a guess.

You'll mess with the wrong bodywug! And I'm going to wave my cane and all of the light from the fires sort of go out very temporarily and they get snuffed out as the shadows sort of whip around the room and kind of swirl up my feet as I turn into sort of a full silhouette. And you'll hear ominous jazz and under the jazz, you'll hear the faint, uh,

painful wails of the wailing dead. And you'll see sort of neon glyphs appear on my clothes, my pinstripes will turn neon, and there'll be kind of like a neon, almost like blacklight skull face paint that appears on the silhouette of my face as the skull of an alligator.

- As I use my Form of Dread and in the same motion, you'll see these sort of these neon,

pins appear in the air around all of them and sort of wisps of shadow as well as they'll attempt to impale through them. I cast Bane on all four of them. Oh, I thought you were casting Jazzy Neon Pins. The ability Jazzy Neon Pins. Mini Mimica. Natural 20 for the first one. Okay.

- Bae? - Oh, and what is this? - Bae. - Okay, so the second one will fail. So number three fails. - Okay. - And number four fails. - Bae. - And number five fails. So one survives, the other three are baned. - That would be extremely painful. - Can you hand me the bane box? - What's a bane box? - It's the box underneath the honey pot.

- So it was three that passed or was it one that passed? - It was one that passed. - One that passed, okay. - And you can do four banes? - I can, it's a first level spell and you can target one additional creature. Oh, so it starts with three and then at second level it's four, at third level it's five and right now it's second level, so it was four. - Love that.

And so let me just make sure that I know what Flame of Dread does, because this is the second time I've ever used it. If I hit a creature. Okay, I haven't hit anybody, but I'm immune to the frightening condition. And look badass. And I gain temporary Wailing Souls hit points. Here, bring on the pain. Oh!

The bane pain. Oh, it's Lillith's bane? Yeah. These condition markers are so cool. This would be extremely painful. Painfully painful. Maybe he's wondering why someone would shoot him out. Gideon, you will immediately take four points of damage.

And you gain another stack of ignition. Fire damage? Mm-hmm. Oh, you're so funny. I will say all of them are fire damage. Just checking, DM. Yeah. As the fire sprite comes up and ignites me, I'll take out my cigar and just put it right on its little head. Like this. Mmm. I can see it. I can see it so clearly. Ah.

You know, I'm starting to worry about how many fucking weird monsters have access directly to my brain. And I am starting with you. I ain't no fire traitor, fire sprite. And I'm gonna fucking kill you because you said that. So...

Fuck you! You damn game! And I'm going to look to punch into his body as hard as I fucking can. Sweet. It's like punching a cicada in the air. You're jamming me!

Fuck you! Asshole! Well, that's a 25. That hits. All right. To what number? Oh, whatever this one is. That's number three. Oh, what does Bane do?

- It reduces their, oh no, they need to subtract a D4 off of all their rolls. Well, saving throws and attack rolls. - Not my rolls. - Not ability checks. - Oh, it will take,

As I raise my fist up and just fire it straight in this fire sprites fucking snotty face, it'll take 12 points of fist damage and six points additionally of fire damage. So presumably if it's resistant, if not... Immune. Yeah. You...

punch into this thing and though it looks like wisps of fire, it looks as if it has no core to punch, you do find resistance. And you are able to slam your fist directly into its body doing critical damage as you watch licks of flame and sparks shoot out from where your fist lands and you watch as it

pops into a puff of smoke. Oh. Traitor! Thanks for the laugh. Summon the master. Oh, good. Is it Justin that hears it? Fuck you mean summon the master. What? What? What? Grisco, you are going to take two points of fire damage. Two points? And you are...

- Okay. - You have another level of ignition. - Dungeons and Mistress, do I get the sense if I tried to sing another awkward rendition of Toto's Africa that it would not do anything to this ignition? As that would be feel broken as fuck. - I would say you guessed

that it would, it might have an effect on other things, but it doesn't seem like it's gonna have an effect. This is a magical flame. This is something that feels like it is inside of your soul, inside of your being. That was Mike. And not flames, it's not like you're close on fire. It's not like somebody's on fire, how do we go get a fourth one? That was Mikey's presumption, but I wanted to make sure. You feel warmth in your stomach. Yeah, we have a living bomb cast by Barangeddon in the fourth. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

It should be like this. Yeah. No, it's Key Turner. Oh yeah. No, get out! Fucking Jerry, don't be keyturning, bitch! Sorry, I'm so sorry. Keyturning bitch. Jerry. You're fucking Jerry. It's always Jerry. Keyturning bitch. It's always the J. I will, holding my Rook totem, I'll say: Okay, I need some more help, Nicky!

And after the flamespirit gets through the big spectral wings, it'll burst out in a large flame of spectral blue.

energy and you've seen, I think I've used my Froggy Myth spirit a lot and I've used the Garavon spirit, but I don't think I've used the Rook spirit as a large two-headed vulture with two huge wings will emerge behind me and let out a bird cry as I am going to use my starry form, my primal spirit form, and I am then going to

look through my abilities as the wings continue to beat and beat and beat and suddenly the wind next to me starts to whip up as I cast Dust Devil at a second level. Because it is a second level spell. So that's that. So that is...

and I'm going to place it on the band, basically in its base as a five foot cube, as it whips around as this wind, as the rook is continuously beating its wings, as I'm attempting to cast Cyclone on this creature. Not actually, it needs to make a creature that, oh, it ends its turn within five feet of the Death's Devil. So I am going to move away. I'm gonna move just,

this way and I guess I'll enjoy an opportunity. He will enjoy an opportunity attack. - Oh yeah, he is gonna take it. - 19. - That'll hit, yeah. - You are going to take four points of fire damage and another stack of ignition. - Four points of fire damage. So that's three ignition for me, I believe, right? - Yes. - Okay, great. - I am tracking it as well. - Okay, good, so I don't need to do it.

I am going to then... I just want to make sure that I know what this does. I mean, I would still like you guys to track it just in case I calculate it wrong. But I am...

Keeping a list to be safe. Is there debris about this place? Everywhere. Okay, so... This is a... It is ramshackle. This is where the balloons are made. And you remember seeing that they're... The baskets were made out of random pieces of furniture. The balloon itself was pieces of cloth and leather that were sewn together. These things are not pristine, beautifully made balloons. They are made by...

Bullywugs that clearly were not trained to be balloon engineers. Got it. So basically I cast the... What, Derek? I don't know. Like my father, I was a trained balloon engineer. My dust devil is represented by this toucan. And so it will then whip up... Oh, Sakeem, yeah, you're right. Did the 19 include the bane? Yeah.

Minus four, so that's a 15. Good call out, Sakeem, good call out. It lunges forward and is like, "No!" They start to swarm all over. Which number was it that was on you? Four. Okay. He's banned. He's a ring. That one is banned, yep. The wailing Jazzy Spectres are distracting. See, that's why we need you. Thank you, Chad. Thank you, thank you, Chad.

So then basically it does not trigger any damage until it ends its turn, I think. Okay. He noticed that his skin started to turn to burlap a little bit and he pulls some moss out of himself. And so it starts to whip up and suck up all of the pieces of wood and debris in this place and forms a 10-foot radius cloud of debris that's heavily obscured. So basically we...

Everything too creamy, basically everything here is fully heavily obscured. So I'm gonna set out this way so I'm not blind. So this is all heavily obscured. - And what does that include? 'Cause I can't see on the map. - That basically includes one and four. - 'Cause we're using little maps. - So it includes one and four. - One and four, okay. - And it's basically right at the edge of, it has swallowed, the cloud of debris has swallowed the one that's on Twig.

And that's it? And Twig? No. It's right, so it's basically, it's swirling right there. That is the debris. Okay. It is Twig's turn. She is going to, well, she's right on it, so she doesn't have to use her movement. She fails. This also happens. She's gonna take one point and another ignition.

You watch as Twig stares into now this swirling mass of debris. Just little bits of wisps of flame make their way out as right on the fringes of it, this sprite is floating directly in front of Twig's face.

and you watch as Twig reaches out into the debris, you see as bits of it slam into her arm, as she reaches in and grabs the sprite and pulls it towards her, closer to her, as she holds it in her hands. You're so beautiful. I would do anything for you. And it's almost as if she's having a conversation in her head with this thing at this point.

As she looks down and she says, okay. She opens her mouth and she swallows the sprite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought was going to happen. I'm so glad that didn't happen to me. It says form the master. It's going to turn...

It's trying to turn somebody into the fucking fire-- Summon the master. Yeah, someone's trying to turn him into Ragnaros from Moth and Cor. You bear, I'll summon Rhaegar to the spot. And that's Twig's turn. That's not good. Remove the--

Yes, you can remove. I would keep it on her. I feel like under her. It's not dead, it's just in twig. Ooh, a possession. It is then the lair action. I need you all to roll a charisma saving throw as you begin to watch the, well, actually, yeah, there is still one that's not obscured from you, correct?

- No, it's in the very-- - So there should be one, four, and five. But there's still one that's not inside of Gricko's. - The one next to Krem. - Number five is not blinded. - So as this one swells and begins to shift, you all...

bright piercing light fills the room and you all feel yourselves overcome yet again by that strange hypnotizing undulation of the flame. I need you all to roll a Christmas saving throw. Does being ignited affect the throw at all? It does not. I would like to use a twist. Yes, I also would like to use a twist, please. I rolled a 16. Okay. 20. Christmas saving throw, 20. 19. I'm bald. I'm bald.

- One eight for me, please. - One eight? - Yeah. - Oh, an eight or an 18? - One eight. - A single eight. - Oh, okay. - A single eight. - One and eight is 18. - Yeah, I got an 18. - No, you didn't. - Fuck off. - No, cheater. - Cheater. - Pumpkin eater. - Liar. - You, the three of you once again, steel yourselves against the dance of the fire sprites, but Frost, you're once again caught

in their hypnotizing ways and you feel yourself compelled to move towards them.

- Okay. - And it is now your turn. - I got full zero. - I can get over here, decently. - Oh, and sorry, on their turn, you notice as the embers are on the lair action, you notice as the embers once again ignite and 12 more sprites.

pop out and-- - That's too many sprites. - Just a minor detail. ♪ Too many sprites, too many sprites ♪ ♪ Too many sprites, too many sprites ♪ Thank you. - Are they all around us or are they intermixed with us too? - I would say they're all around and intermixed. You just put them wherever. You just see that those six embers that--

Those six embers that you saw on the ground originally illuminate and more, it's almost as if they're just spitting them out. Yeah, this is fine. This is fine. Wait, are there still embers on the ground? Yeah, there were six embers. Strange embers that I described to you like four times. I recall. Okay. I recall. Oh, okay.

Those weren't important. All right. I thought they were just ambiance or whatever. Well, shit. I thought that was just fucking cool. Ambiance. I'm so fancy, I should get one of them cigarette holders. Just saying ambiance. But it's for a cigar, so it's like real thin and then it tapers out. I learned how to say that word from a girl named Genevieve. Oh, my God.

Wow. Um... Fuck. Okay, I used my movement. May I throw the savings? Yes. So first, you're going to take one point of fire damage. Ouch. As it whips around you, and you are going to take another...

Ignition. You should have two. Yes. Sprites indeed, Hunt. Frost, you have two? I have two, yes. That's what I thought. Okay. I am calculating properly. And then, yes, you may roll your save. I got a 17. I'm going to dread you. I don't know why I'm rolling.

I get a fine. Oh, fuck. Favorite the dread, Chad. Extreme Dorito fiber. You look down at this thing and...

You had moved towards it. It is, it's beautiful. It's primal. Fire, you're intelligent. You know that life as you know it would cease to exist if it weren't for flame. And these are entities of pure fire. And as it looks up at you,

The image that you saw before of the sharp teeth and the wicked face, it now looks demure and quite cute as it smiles up at you. And for the first time, you hear in your head, Eat me!

That makes sense. What do you do? It's gotta be like that renaissance painting. Oh, yes. I was gonna have to say something else. I'm like, you know what? It would quite literally just say, eat me, and you would do it. You remind me of the hot peppers from Yulong. Shove one down my gullet. Excuse me. Frost, you feel...

- Warmth in your belly. - You long knees, banshee, pep. Excuse me, excuse me. - A type, that makes sense. A type of warmth that you have never experienced before. It is cozy. - My esophagus. - It is, it feels safe. - This won't do any lasting damage. - It feels like this is exactly what you were born to do.

Perhaps I'll change my name to Morning Flame. And that is your turn. It is the Firesprites' turn. They are going to move in. Who is left? Just the three of you? Oh, I mean, the seven, eleven, yeah, yeah. We're not. No, I just mean four of you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to surround all of you.

including Frost and Twig. That's a bird. That's a bird. Oh. I'm losing to a bird, is what they say. They are gonna surround Frost and Twig as well, so they are not exempt from this. So this one's blind. So I don't know, he should move towards Gricko or probably, he's probably chasing-- This one is also blind. Yes, correct. If it's in the thing. Correct.

'Cause Trembi's right on the edge of the... I will ask the two other DMs if they are of a hive mind and can sense each other. Oh, okay. If they're a hive mind, then it doesn't do shit. Okay, then they're going to move towards their brethren and use their brethren to guide their sight. Yeah, you can't, you know, you have to blind them all. Okay, and so how many are on frost? One is on frost. It's going to fail. How many are on Gricko? Three.

That fails. 16 doesn't hit, right? 16 does not hit, no. Okay, a natural one. One of them is baned, so however you want to do that. Four is baned, yeah. Would 17 hit? 17 would hit. Would a 16 hit? No. Okay. Well then, even with bane, that's not going to work. So wait, only one of them was? Only one of them is bane. Yeah. Okay, I'll use the one that hit because I don't feel like dealing with it. How many are in you? Two are on me.

Are any of them baned? No. Okay. Frost eats the baned one. Okay, one of them is going to hit you. How many are on Twig? One is on Twig. That's gonna hit. And none are on Gideon. Okay. I don't know why any of them are on Gideon. You're going to take two points of fire damage and another ignition. Yep. Okay. Twig is going to take...

three points of fire damage and another ignition. - So I have three ignition. - Can someone good at math help me? NDND. - What do you need? - So for my rook form, I cannot roll lower than a 12 on my constitution checks. When do I need to start actually rolling for constitution checks when I have this form active?

The baseline is 12. What I mean is basically the damage as far as concentration. Sorry, concentration. Are you just asking what's your plus to... Plus 3 con. To your con saving throws? Yeah. So basically for concentration, I shouldn't have to roll at all while I have this form active until... Why? Because I can't roll lower than a 9 with this form on, basically.

And it's plus three. Oh, you're asking me how much damage you need to do before I actually roll for concentration. So nine, ten, eleven, twelve. So bare minimum you would ever get is a twelve. Yes. So twenty-six. Twenty-six, okay. Thank you. In a single hand. Yes, in a single hand. You would have to be hit and take that much damage. Yeah, in order to have to roll. And that's probably unlikely. Oh, we'll see. This is the concentration form, so. Yeah. I believe it's my turn.

Yeah, so you are immediately going to take, because there's one next to you. There's two next to me. And I have three levels of ignition. You are going to take four points of damage. All right. You're going to take three points of damage. All right. And you're going to take two hits of ignition. You had three before, yeah? I had three. You immediately look down at one of these things. Oh, God.

and you look into it and you feel a connection to these now. A fire that burns in your belly is not unnatural, it is primal. And these entities could be and should be one with you. I need you to make a charisma saving throw at disadvantage, please. - For real?

19 and a natural one. You... Well, what's the DC? Because it's a plus seven, so it's an eight. No. Should I twist it? You just barely missed. I will twist of dread you. That's why I figured. You know what? We'll just burn one of your... I'm going to twist it so that you burn your dread, and we'll just say I keep a natural one. I feel like because it's a natural one, I should make you keep it. Okay. I'll keep it. No, that's fine. You can use a twist. Okay.

And then you burn your dread. No. No? Oh. Oh, roll again. Oh. 12. Okay. Let her rip. Let her rip. And I didn't have to burn a dread. That's the way the need is. That's psychology, folks. You look down at this entity, and as it floats in front of you, you pick it up, and as you hold it in your hands, you hear, eek, eek.

Well, all right. And you watch as Kremi opens his maw and consumes one of these. Which one was that? Number 11. Okay. And which one did you eat, Frost? The Bane one. Five. Yes. Five, yes. Okay. So on the board, you should have one, two, seven, eight, nine, ten, and twelve. Presumably. That looks correct. We have seven, eight, twelve, four? Four?

10 and 9. We don't have 1. Is 1 under twig? 1 is under twig, correct. 1 is under twig. So yes, you're correct. And 5 is frost. And you are 11. I'm 11, yes, that's right. Thank you. And that is... It is your turn. Am I charmed or anything? Or no? No.

Do I still have a desire to eat them, though? Because there's one right next to me. Like, I wanted to eat the one guy. Yeah. No, you feel that warmth in your belly, and you feel good. That guy was pretty tasty, but, you know. You feel like you have accomplished what you needed to. But I'll just shoot you in the face. I'm going to point my cane at, like, point blank, and all the skull will glow with this horrible...

necrotic magic and shoot outward at disadvantage because he's in melee range. Oh, that's just really bad. Oh, wait, you failed your charisma saving throw, didn't you? I did, yes. Yeah, so that's the end of your turn. Oh. The same thing with Frost. He failed his, so he doesn't get a turn. Yeah, that's what I wanted to check. Yeah, you'll be able to roll again at the start of your next turn. Cram me hungry. Gideon, you are going to take three points of fire damage. What's that in half?

One. One. Hey, why are you guys eating them? Is that like the preferred way to kill them now? They're delicious, Gideon. Brian, you're gross. You don't have any next to you, right? No, he's not melee range. I'm about to. So that actually, you don't take that damage and you don't get an ignition because you don't have any of them near you. Oh, my goodness.

I, being right next to Greco, would see that he is surrounded by three, and I would charge the closest one to my old pal and attack. I think that's a 15? To hit? That hits. And... Eight points of damage as I charge the one next to me. To which number? What number is that one? Nine. Nine, yep.

you punch it in the body yet again, and you feel your hand connect with whatever core. - Are they short to the ground? - Huh? - Are they short to the ground? - They're floating in the air, I'll tell you. So you can easily. But they're about the size of your hand or my hand. - Can I just open palm slap it? - If you want to. - Yeah, I wanna swat. - Kind of like a gnat, you swat at it. And as your hand connects with it, you feel it begin to crumble and burst

almost like an ember popping in the fire. And it completely disappears from existence. - So the dead ones we can remove? - Mm-hmm. Gricko, how many are around you? - Do you wanna? - Two, one, two. - I don't think I can attack this. - You are going to take two points of damage. And then you are going to take another two points of fire damage. - I thought the bonus action was to grapple. - It's grapple or attack, you can choose.

And what would you like to do, Greco? Do I need to make any kind of saving throw now? You're at four, right? Yeah. Oh. I am going to say... I'm going to... Oh. As the large spear of the rook emerges above me, suddenly I become a lot more intelligent.

as two heads are better than one. Oh, this is what it feels like to chew five gum. Necky, your intelligence is incredible. I would like to see if anything strikes me about the embers.

Is it futile? Does Gricko think that it's futile to fight these ever-growing... Because Mikey's starting to think that it is... That I should just go for an ember and try to deal with it. Roll an intelligence saving throw. A saving throw or a check? Check, sorry. Mechanically, what does that do to your end?

I cannot roll lower than a nine on ant checks and wisdom checks and concentration saving throws. Concentration. Concentration. I don't know what it's saying there. That was pretty good. What was it? It sounded like Piccolo. I have no idea what it's saying there. Drunks, we must defeat Frieza. Is that what it said? I don't know. Can I use a twist? Let me use a twist. Yeah, use a twist. You've got to figure this out.

I get a... Use another twist. We have to, if this is gonna fuck us. Okay. We have them, we have them. I get a 12, I get a 12. One more? Looking around, looking around, you try and take a quick assessment of what is happening here. And you do see that these embers are growing brighter and brighter and brighter. And you...

I would say with the 12, you notice that even with the rain, these embers never fully went out. There was still some core in them that was not extinguished. Though it got very close, the rain itself wasn't enough. And you do see that they are growing brighter. And so I will say that's what I can give you with the 12.

- I would like to-- - Oh, I will say you have noticed that fighting these individually definitely hasn't been helping you. And that you have not attempted to use any sort of water since the sprites appeared. 'Cause they appeared after your show. - That's a good point, I forgot there was water. - And that there, the DM did mention there were buckets of water and stuff.

I would like to, if there are buckets of water anywhere near me, I would like to

I call the Dust Devil, and say, "Okay, Nikki, help me out!" If there are buckets, I would like to whip up any kind of buckets into the Dust Devil in an attempt to basically knock it or bring it to an Ember, if we deem that's possible. You're trying to douse one of the Embers in water. Douse one of the Embers, not one of the Sprites. I'm not trying to kill a Sprite. I'm trying to douse one of the Embers with the buckets with my Dust Devil. I can move the Dust Devil up to with a bonus action.

as a bonus action up to 30 feet in any direction so i can send that thing humming so he would but he would have to knock it onto the fire sprite i'm trying to use the dust also an ember he's trying to move the bucket onto an ember so if there's like a bunch of buckets somewhere all filled i would like to basically just whip it into basically on in like onto a pile ranged attack water bucket just so i don't have to move and get absolutely annihilated by these guys on me

I go, "Puh! Puh!" - How would I make you roll for, you know, that's actually a pretty clever idea. But I will query you, how would,

a dust devil with this amount of wind affect an ember where... So my initial thought was basically to basically have the dust devil go on top of the ember and just whip it up. If I can move it 30 feet, ideally I can just zigzag it. Well, what I'm saying is one of the things that you do to create flame with an ember is you add octopuses.

That's not a pain. That's true. So I'm trying to determine-- Oh, fuck! -- how that would work. A tornado of lightning. So is it too-- I guess the question is, is the wind too fast that would have a dousing effect, or would it have a-- I would say the wind itself would not put out the ember. Does it give a speed for the wind? But I will say throwing water on it potentially could. I just have to decide in my mind, do those things cancel out?

having a dust or like essentially a tornado on top of it, whipping around, feeding it oxygen, is that going to strengthen it? And then the water, this is a tough question. - If I wanted a galaxy, like my main intention would be like, if you have like a bunch of rows of buckets, like in World of Warcraft, like they have like a pile of buckets, we'd basically roll over the buckets and get some water in it and like a cyclone and just like at least go to water multiple-- - You know what, I'll say sure. We'll let that work. You watch as the...

as these-- Help me, Nikki! I keep thinking you're saying Nikki. Nikki! I'm like, sure, if you would like me to help you. You're interrupting me! I'm about to! He's got two necks. You--

You send your cyclone towards the bench that the water, or that the wooden buckets filled with the swamp water were on, and you direct it in a line, and you watch as the buckets are picked up. The water is spilt out of the buckets, but the wind is whipping around, and what had been a

swirling mass of air and debris has now turned into almost like a hurricane as water is just spinning and spinning and spinning. You are all blasted

in the face and soaked with liquid as it spills out of this thing and you direct it towards one of these embers. You hear a loud popping sound and in your head, Gideon, you hear, "No! The master!" as this ember darkens and turns into a pile of ash.

You got the right idea, buddy. I don't like that. Okay, that was just a bonus action. Now I have another action. I will create water. The cry of a thunderbird will cry out and I will basically create another rain that

going across 30 foot cubes. - What I will say is I did mention that the rain wasn't enough to put out the embers. - Then what I'll do, is there a bucket near me? An empty bucket near me or anything? - You would have to move to get one 'cause I don't think any of you picked up buckets except for Frost. - I had a mine bucket but I don't think that I've been sustained. - I was running towards one. I was running towards it. I don't know if I ever got one. - Then you can have a bucket.

If you said you were riding towards one. No, I wouldn't have been holding it while fighting. Yeah, I wouldn't have a bucket. I am going to... I can't move anyway. I'm getting watered.

I'm just not gonna move. And I will just say... Just create food and water. Discover it in bread. I don't have a... I'm not prepared. That's a much higher level spell. I will say... Go for the embers! Go for the embers! And I'll let out... I'll play my ocarina. I'll be...

a really high annoying note as a in a flash of blue a bunch of sturges a cloud of sturges will appear all around and swarm as i'm going to cast wither and bloom um as uh everyone within a 10 foot radius my enemies we need a constitution saving throw and my allies

One creature will be able to heal. So I'm going to do it on, I think, a 10-foot radius sphere. Can get all of these, right? 10-foot radius. 10-foot radius. Where are you centering it? If I do it here, can I get them? Here? One, two. One, two. You can't get that guy. Wait, here? One, two. No, he's totally out of it. Which guy? One, two. He's in it.

No, if it's this square? No, he's doing it this point. Sorry that my all these spells being a... Yeah. One, two. Sorry, guys. One, two, seven. I mean, you would get like those two. Or you could get those three. I'm just gonna put it on the guys on me. I'll get three. I'm gonna get these three. Okay, so three of them. Eight, four, and ten need to roll constitution saving throws. And four gets baned. Goddammit, that was a good number, too. Yep.

Does a 13... No. No. And so one of them succeeds. Ten. The one who succeeds takes one point of necrotic damage. The one who fails takes two points of necrotic damage. All right. One is inside of Twig. Oh, one of them's inside of Twig? One... No, not the number one. He was just saying the one that succeeds. Yeah, I know, but the numbers that you gave me were one, four, and ten.

No, no, no. Eight, four, and ten. Oh, eight, four, and ten. Okay. So...

Eight and four fail, so you watch as both of them crackle and pop out of existence. Ten is shaking and wobbling, but still standing. Eight and four are dead. Mm-hmm. As you see the Sturges in these spectral forms start to stick their proboscises into the sprites, and they get bigger and bigger, as I then start to swell up a little bit, and I will enjoy some healing.

And that's my turn. I see how it is. Okay. I can't, you're on the range of the spell. Twig, it is Twig's turn. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think the question is, where would the, sorry, where would the Dust Devil have ended? On, I didn't mark the embers. I would say it's in a very far corner. Yeah, at the edge of the room somewhere. Okay, cool, that's it.

Twig shakes her eyes clean as she... What's even going on? I feel like I had a really nice hot soup. Teacher, you forgot to move into an ember before you saved. What? Nothing. Twigs, you're eating fire sprites. You need to get one of those embers and douse it in water. That's not nice. Oh, you want me to do that? Okay, I'll get some water.

Is she gonna pass anything to walk over to water? So one is still inside her. Okay, so she would have to like-- She just carries that with her, there's no opportunity. Yes, she's pretty open. It is the knowledge of the bird. Her movement is 30. Oh, wow.

- Oh, but she can fly for 60. So I'll say I'm willing to have her fly. - So anyway, she's fine. She can pick any of these and douse them. - So for her turn, she will pick one and you see the opposite corner from where old twister Jim is. She douses one of the embers. - Old twister Jim? - And in your head, yet again, you hear the call of know the master.

Oh, so an ember, not one of the little guys, but the ember on the ground. She does this. Isn't that what you told her to do, was to get the ember? Yes, yes, yes. That's exactly what we told her to do. No, not the master. So she's over here somewhere. No! The master! Traitor! Hey, I ain't no traitor. I won't kill you.

And that is Twig's turn. It is now top of the round. You watch as the embers ignite. And this time you see as the one where Twig was standing, you see that there are four embers left. Four of them begin to glow.

And you watch as one of them launches an orb of fire directly towards one in the corner and the one that she had just doused illuminates. And that's the entire action. So there are five remaining again. - Oh, so I'm gonna resurrect number two. - No, it's just the embers. - Oh, the ember. - Not the sprites. - It doesn't create a sprite. - Doesn't create a sprite. Just read there are six embers. You had gotten rid of two.

And they're five again. I see. And that is the lair action, Frost. You could move, you're towards them. How many are on you? I have one behind me that I can turn and see. Is it physically in range to you? Yes. Okay. You're going to take three fire damage, and you take one more... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

And that is... That's the first one you've taken since you've consumed an ember, yeah? I have three ignitions. Yes. I was at two ignited, and now I am at three ignited, I believe. What prompted you to consume the ember? I was charmed by it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You failed your second charm save. Okay. Yeah, I had to make sure. I'm like, wait a minute. What do you mean? Yes. I'm still charmed. That is accurate. I know. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I believe, because I've taken this damage, that I'm Ignite 3. Yes. Okay. It's meaningfully important. You need to roll a Christmas saving throw. Well, how will I roll it? I don't know.

- Six. - Okay. You, are you sure? - Will you twist? - I'm gonna keep using this tiny guy for the use. It hasn't rolled higher than a six. - Let's do two, let's do two, 'cause we have plenty. - Oh, 17. - 17 passes, I'm gonna dread you. - Oh, oh yeah.

Can I dread your twist? No, I can't. Yeah, I can. I don't remember. We haven't been doing dueling twists, but you can do it if you want to. No, we should 100% be able to duel with the... Well, it dreads immediately counter, and you can't duel a dread with a twist. Yes, but you can...

You should have ultimate power. Yeah, because I kind of do really want this to happen right now. Do it. It's in the rules of Aventress. And there are only three more sprites left, right? Yeah. Yeah, I want to do this right now. In the Chaos God Pantheon of... I think every DM needs a Chaos God as part of our Pantheon. And if yours is Chuckles, everybody else needs their own Chaos God. Oh, I love that. I mean, I already have one. Oh, what is it?

It's Kirby Dave. Okay, so I'm keeping the 18 because I rolled an 18 with the Dread. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you are able to break this fixation that you have on these sprites.

It is the fire sprites turn. They are on people, correct? - My turn was just to save and then not do anything? - Oh no, no, you can, you do, you get a turn. - I mean, whatever you wanna do. - I forgot, no, no, no. - Do I get a sense that I could pick up one of the embers with my mind hand? - I would say you don't get that sense, but you-- - Oh, I was really hoping to space jam it into one of the buckets. - Well, I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying you don't know anything about it to know whether you could do that or not. I would say you could try.

There's nothing stopping you. It's just not like you look at them and think to yourself, yes, I could do this. I wouldn't check the spell. I would check your feature. Oh, yeah. It's all in the features. Yeah, because I think it's normally an action, but I believe... Because I think it's not even supposed to be. It's not a hand. It's just telekinesis. Yeah, you're... Just one moment. You're Luke Skywalker from the beginning of Empire Strikes Back. You know what's bullshit about the Force? I have the shove action as a...

bonus action. Oh, and I can use Mage Hand as a bonus action. Okay, so I will endeavor to grab it like a hot potato. What's the speed of the Mage Hand? I just broke my pen. Oh, Penny. Yeah, that's sad. 30 feet. 30 feet. I'm really sad about that. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, you could get your mage hand to it and have a little bit of movement for sure. So if I can, I'm going to attempt to pick it up like a hot potato and sizzle hand it and dunk it into one of the buckets. He would basically pick it up and that would create it in a spot then it can move. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, I'll let you do that. I think that's cool. That's cool. Yeah, I will say you're easily able to, you create your mage hand directly over one of these embers, one that is close enough, the one that was the opposite side of the room or next to the one that Gricko

I used a cyclone to destroy and you are able to scoop it up with your mage hand and alley-oop that bitch into a bucket of water. He's on fire! Monster jam, jam, jam! Okay, I do that and then-- And with a sizzle and a pop,

Game breaker. You feel, or you watch as this goes out and you, I will say, you immediately feel a pain in your belly and a sense of almost sadness for just a split second.

Steal yourself and get this thing out of me. I'm going to use my movement to move 30 feet to the closest bucket, if there is one within 30 feet of me. Sure. Opportunity attack. And I will take an attack of opportunity from what number that is? Seven. Seven. My AC is 17 at this time. 19? Yeah, it hits. Does that mean I take another level of burnination? You're going to take three fire damage. And are you sure you were at three? I'm at three.

Okay, so you're at four now. I had you marked down as four, but I'm gonna believe you. Okay. And so you're now four. I will use my action to drink a bucket of water. Okay. Dirty swamp water?

I'm filled with asbestos. With arsenic. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm asbestos. So I just, I just, holding my nose. This is pouring down my water. I'm trying to extinguish whatever's inside me, seeing if I have made any effort. You know what? That's clever. I will say you, this is disgusting. This smells disgusting.

This tastes the way dirty feet smell. It is...

This is not liquid the way that water should be. It is filled with chunks of moss and algae. Oh, I can't listen. Leaves and bits of things. You are unsure of whether you've swallowed a bone. There is silt swirling through this stuff. Definitely bugs.

It is more the consistency as you get towards the bottom. It is more the consistency of a watered-down porridge than it is a beverage. And there are...

There's a cicada carcass. And there's the entire contents of a pool filter. And it is rancid. And it's like drinking from the mop bucket at a golden corral. That is worse than the description I

- I didn't finish it. - What I will say is your efforts are not fruitless. You feel that burning core inside of you extinguish and the lack of that warmth fills you with a coldness.

Whereas that lack of warmth, you now feel much colder than you did before as a shiver comes over you and you pull your robe tighter around you, but you do feel that spark extinguish.

I feel like that was worse than the sweat room in the cook it house. Now on our Patreon. If you want to become a patron, you can know what I'm talking about. That'll be my turn. You now have salmonella. You've quenched the fire in your stomach, but you've got three turns left to live.

And that is Frost, that was your turn, yeah? So the fire sprites, which, do you kill one? No, you killed an ember. So seven, 10 and 12 are still alive. Yeah, 10's right on either me or Gideon. Well, I am still, I still am standing on one. If I extend your distance, he's gone. Oh, five's dead. Five's dead. Yes, whichever one was inside of you is now gone. Okay, so then all the ones with Bane are gone.

So now seven is closer to me. Okay, so seven is going to move towards you. So seven and 12 are both on me. So 17. And I have five ignition. Oh my God. 24. Oh. But you've eaten one. And I have eaten one as well. Yes, okay. That is meaningfully important. And I'm currently buying. You are going to take three points and one ignition.

And then the other one is gonna get a natural 20. - Gotta get it out. - So you are going to take four, five points and two ignition. - Okay, so I'm at eight ignition. Just saying that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got it marked down, thank you. And then there's one on Gricko. - And I'm very on fire. - There's one on Gricko. - There's one on Gricko, yep, yep, yep. - 20.

That hits. Yeah, that hits. You're going to take two points and one ignition. You, Gricko, you feel a need.

to stare into this one that's next to you. As the overwhelming sense of warmth in your body begins to overtake you, you look towards this sprite. I need you to roll a charisma saving throw at disadvantage. Oh, it's like an alluring silhouette of flame coming from a pie in an old cartoon. Oh.

- Nice, outrageous. - I want you to confirm that. - Two natural 20s? - A natural 20 and a 16, so 18 would be my lowest. - That's pretty good. - You are however, you do not succumb to the allure of this entity and you continue to focus on the mission at hand. That is all of their turns. Cremi, you are going to take...

Thank you, Neki. Three points of fire damage. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And another ignition. I'm at nine. Mm-hmm. Tony Robbins. Go, Tony Robbins. Use your giant banana hands. Oh. That is a 17 on my save. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna question. Oh.

It's even higher. Fuck. You want to dread me again? You can dread me again. I kind of want to. Do it. Yeah, I'm going to dread you again. We got, there's way, there are a ton of dreads that they've been throwing you that were not caught up. Oh no. Oh.

That would be a 18. Protected by the magic treasure that is Amazon. I'm going to do three is the charm. I'm going to do three and no more than that. Very appropriate for this campaign. I'm going to roll the small one because those tend to roll worse. Wow, okay. Three 11s. I rolled 11, 15, 11, 11. So you're an 18. So I'm still an 18. Okay. You break eye contact with one of these sprites and you shake, you...

You shake off the hypnotism that is the alluring visage of this entity. Though you feel warm, you begin to sweat. There is a fire burning inside of you. You're on the verge. - I don't think I ate any chili peppers or anything. Oh man. Shoot one point blank. And that will be two more 11s. What the fuck?

11-11. That's five 11s. That's very lucky. Go for 7-11 and we can all get a pack of smokes.

- There's some cheeseburger big bites. - I wanna get some of those roller hot dogs. - That's 18. - I hate to eat this shit out of the way. - That presumably hits, right? - Destroy. - His chicken wings are so dry. - I rolled an 18 to hit my oldest blast. So one blast is gonna hit for 11 points of damage. - To who? - On number seven. - Yes, okay. Seven, you watch as it bursts out of existence.

And I don't think Kremi would really understand the nature of all this. He'd be like, "Man, now that I'm thinking of gumbo, I'm getting a little hungry. You know what? I could use the hit points, and I'm going to use Hungry Jaws, number 12, and bonus attack." Which one did you kill? Bite. I killed seven.

I'm gonna bonus action chomp number 12. - Okay. - And so that would be a-- - Oh my god. - Grammy. - That's it? - That's it. - Is it an 11? - Whee! - Just say it's an 11.

Just say it. Oh, it's an 11, wow! It's a 20 to hit. It's at 611s! So are you eating this thing? Yeah, no, I'm eating it to trigger my hungry jaws feature that will give me some health back 'cause I'm very on fire. Okay. I'm gonna say that was your choice, not mine. No, no, I know, I know. Six points of damage, I rolled max damage.

As I eat it. You are able to consume this thing. As you reach down, it didn't ask for this. This is the future you chose! Thank you!

Eat me, but don't chew. No! Oh, God, my body! My flame-hot body! Feed those two temporary implants! Shut up! Oh, it's like extra hot Cheetos. I'm the fire salsa talk band!

I love these guys. Can we just fight them forever? You bite down and toss this sprite up into the air, and as it's spinning through the air and careening down towards your open maw, you hear, "I didn't mean to!" It lands on your tongue and you swallow it whole.

with a burst of white hot light. Sweet. You watch as Kremi begins to illuminate. In between all of the creases along all of his scales, you see light spilling forth as the five remaining embers begin to throb and pulse with fiery light. And then you begin to see smoke

spill out of Kremi's ears, his nose, his mouth, and in unison, Gideon, you hear from the five embers and the one remaining sprite, the master comes forward. - It's a little warm in here, I have to get this hot button off.

Kremi begins to undo his clothes. It is warm, you are sweating profusely. You open your mouth to take in a breath and you watch as smoke pours from Kremi's maw. Shadow of the World. One, two, three, four, five embers. You had--

- You were almost at 10. - No, well, did I get it? I was at nine before that. - You were at nine, but you've consumed two sprites. So it was either nine ignition or the consumption of two sprites. - Okay, I got, well. - And you watch as these embers shoot out at you. Nine in total, followed by two sprites.

The remaining one, number 10, begins to swirl with them and is the middle of the room becomes this swirling tumultuous flame whirlpool as from it,

a fire elemental rises, Ragnaros the Fire Lord. Oh no. Guys, I think I'm fucked up. His name isn't Ragnaros, but I used it for the... I have legs now, I crave subway! They have $5 foot longs! Are the fire sprites still... The fire sprites have the

Oh, and he spit up two? He spit up two, so Kremi essentially spit up all of his ignitions and the two sprites that he ate. So it's nine ignitions and two sprites in total. The one remaining one that was alive has joined him. That is meaningfully important for the strength of this elemental. Oh my god. As he begins to form and you watch as in the middle of the room this entity begins to rise. He is a...

an elemental of pure fire and ember. Smoke is infused with his body as the room itself is filled with smoke. It becomes...

The vision in here is significantly lowered. You're having a hard time seeing each other. Your breathing is labored as you're breathing in this ashy, smoky air. And this entity is looming over you. He is incredibly large, but you can see the light within him drawing your attention and your eyes as all of you look towards it in almost a hypnotic daze. I need you all to roll a charisma saving throw. Oh.

So, basically, 11 get summoned. 11 of the little guys get summoned. Is that what you're saying? 11 little guys get summoned, or no? No. Okay. No, the only thing in this room now is you and him. Oh, okay. And the frog in the back. That's what I was... No, what I was saying is... And they're hive-minded. You spit up all of your ignitions. Oh, my God.

- And the two embers that you swallowed, and the two sprites that you swallowed, any sprites that were still in the room also rushed towards it. In this case, it was just one. - Right. - Rushed towards it and helped to form the master.

So, do I still have my movement to run away? You do not. Okay, that's what I figured. I got a 22. Okay. Everybody else? Oh, what am I rolling? I'm sorry. Christmas Eve show.

Nine. Very hard. That'd be a 21. You got a nine? You summoned Ragnaros, you fool. What did you get, Frost? 17. Oh, I have to roll for twig. Fucking Kremi pulled! God damn it, Kremi! Call me Executus. I pulled too soon.

You look towards this fire elemental and all of you see it for what it is, this large, fiery being, this being of wrath, of malice, of destruction. But Gideon, you look towards it and you see kin, family, an entity of flame. And those sprites were not wrong. You were treacherous. You tried to douse the flame.

But you should never douse the flame. You should feed the flame. And as you look around you, your friends are not family. They're not of the fire like you are. They will try to stop

And that is unacceptable. You now see your friends as foes, and this entity is friendly to you. And he's right next to you. That's what I was just saying. Get your help! Hey, it's hot in here, man. The building's on fucking fire. What the fuck? I turn around, I'm being faced away from this thing. Holy shit, that thing is...

Oh, man. I'm gonna hide behind you, kid, and that guy's really scary. No. Gringo, I got something you can do. Oh, I feel like my nose is finally fixed. What I think... So, what I'm thinking currently is I would...

If I'm thinking that he's kin and I'd like to feed him, I'm thinking I'd like to try and pick up Gricko and throw him at the mouth of the fire elemental. Or would I just think I'd want to punch Gricko in the nose? I don't get you to punch.

No, throw him like a fucking football. Do I want to sweet spot the knee with a natural 20 and one shot? I would say you are more inclined. This does not look like, yes, you felt the need to feed the flame, but not in a literal sense. And you feel like you just need to protect this elemental with your life.

And so I would say you're more likely to just punch Gricko in the body than you are to toss him into... A goblin is not a five dollar foot long! Um...

"Gricko, I won't let you hurt him! I know you're thinking about it!" And I'll quickly spin around and try and just kick, like swing my leg and try and kick Gricko. "Oh, well, shit, Gideon! Wait, what?" Just knee him in the face like Falcon Punch style, like Captain Falcon. Can I twist him?

- Or I probably not. - I mean, you can. - Just one. - Twisted bread is what that should be. - You know what, yeah, I'll give you a twisted dread. - Okay, okay, okay, yeah. - I think it's fun to use a twisted dread for you to kill your friends. - It probably misses.

16? Not close enough. You have a bonus action, though, to attack as well. I'll bonus action attack him. Come on! I'm hitting the crotch. That hits, for sure. 22. Well, you know, I think that

Did that spell fix my... Ah! Ah! Oh, yeah. I put my hands lovingly on either side of Gricko's face and I look down at him and he looks up at me. He's smiling at you like a friend. I put my hands around the sides of his ears and then I go from a smile and the look on my face goes... And...

It'll run to the knee right to the-- Those are metal knives. Yeah. And you will take-- You will take the old-- Oh, I hate when you do that. It's the worst. Thank you, thank you. Nine. Nine.

Plus... That's a lot of cute games, dude. Yeah, I mean... Nine plus three fire damage for a total of twelve damage. *coughing*

You spit up bone from your nose. That's awful! There's like shattered cartilage everywhere. It's not teeth. It's not teeth. I hate this. And I action surge. I'm kidding.

I swing around after having... I just get Zane... I just grab him around the waist and hit him with the fucking gear. I get Zane-geeked, okay? Comboed for a perfect... Perfect match. I get him in the air and then I just juggle him for... Oh my fucking god.

- Jesus. - It's my turn, right? - How many of you swallowed embers? You swallowed one, you swallowed two, Twig swallowed one, okay. - Well, embers or sprites? - Sorry, sprites. - Ugh. - Okay, so I just had to fix something. All right. - PVP. - Though this entity doesn't say anything to you, Gideon, it's not like these sprites that were able to communicate with you. You feel its approval.

you feel its happiness with you, that you are one of the bold, you are one of many, you are part of the flame. - Thanks, Dad. I mean, Ragnaros. - His name's not Ragnaros. - Good job, son. - Thanks, Cray or Fire, help me, help me. - And that is...

- Is that Gideon's turn? - No, it's my turn. - Okay, Gricko. - I'm not even the greatest bug, I'm just a nameless quest bug. - Oh, I wasn't having, we started at the top of the round, right?

No, we just finished Gideon. No, Kremi spawned the monster. Oh, yes, yes, okay, okay, okay. So, but you are friendly to it. Gricko, it's your turn next. Yeah. You are going to, you are within melee range of it, within 10 feet of it? No. You're not within 10 feet of it? No. I'm in melee range of Gideon instead. We just spit it out here. You could have chosen. Yeah, wherever you put it. I can't really see the map, so it's fine. Oh, sorry.

Here, let me-- You can put it right next to her. No, he doesn't have to be there. He can be wherever he is. Wherever he was. That's fine. He'll use the legendary action, Piss Flame, on you. Just one discussion and then I'll pee. Ew, come on. Oh shit, I broke the seal.

We're going to have to institute a studio diaper and a piss roll for you. I haven't diapered in a long time. Don't remind me. That's why there's so much piss everywhere. I'm a big kid now. I haven't diapered in a long time.

- Okay, Greg, I just fuckin' do something. - I have to... And my head is rocketed upwards, but despite, as a...

Oh, my nose is gone. As I look upwards and with the wisdom and knowledge of the two heads of Neki, the rook spirit, I would look upwards and I would see, is there some sort of balloon thing?

factory contraption. Are there like balloons all over the place? Are there baskets? Are there like... It looks like anything that there would have been has been at some point turned into kindling. It's in broken pieces all around this place. It's basically covered in debris. So there's nothing hanging above?

I would say-- I'm asking-- I'm hoping-- What is it that you would like to do? And I'll tell you if it's-- I would like if there was a balloon basket hanging from something in this factory. But if it's-- For what purpose? I would like to create 20 gallons of water in it and then snipe the ropes and have it fall on Ragnaros. Sure.

- Ah, yes, the big water balloon attack. - Though most of the bits and pieces of the balloon engineering have been scattered about this place, at the very highest peak of this conical-shaped roof, there is still hanging precariously a basket of pieces

that appears to be fairly tightly woven. You imagine it could hold water at least long enough to get the job done. - I would like to look up and I'll say, "Oh, that's something." - Oh!

Before I know this thing that I've become. As the Thunderbird cries out, rain will fill into a bucket, one of these buckets. And 20 gallons of water will fill as I cast, whatchacallit, creator's toy water again.

And, um, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. I, uh, I will say, catch the ropes. Get the ropes. Well, what's that, Greg? What's that, Greg? Well, you, um...

- You fill up the basket and it was hanging precariously through the course of all of the mayhem that has been in this place for who knows how long, the ropes were not fully secured the way they had been. And as the weight of the 20 gallons of water fills up this basket, the ropes themselves give way. And you watch as the basket, almost like the hatch of a trap door swings down and completely covers

this elemental in water. 20 gallons of water, to be precise, doing a significant portion of damage. You watch as bits of this elemental are extinguished. You can see the rocky magma-like exterior beneath the flames as smoke pours out all over the room. It becomes harder to breathe. And as I will call the dust devil back as well.

to whip, ideally, basically to whip around as the water falls down and basically whip around part of it. As that is what I'm doing.

It is Twig's turn. Where is Twig standing in? She's just at the other side of the room. She's like here. She's within 30 feet. But she was also enchanted by this thing. She was. And she looks around. Who are the closest to her, or who is the closest to her? I assume she would assume Gideon is friend, so the dust devil, Kremi. Yeah, really it's just Kremi. We're all sort of equidistant.

She is going to look towards Kremi and look towards Gricko, and she is going to fire her Eldritch Blast one at either one of you. No. Oh, God, she's level 5. No. I mean, she did two the last time you guys fought. Yeah, she did. Oh, God, she's level 5. The wolf crimes are on us. 16 to hit Kremi. That misses, I think. Oh, let me check. It does. Yes.

I make sure that it's 16. Dread it. With a laugh like that, it's a dread. I might have to. No, no, no, don't do it. I didn't run away from Gideon, but I was like... I didn't pull up her character sheet. I'm pretty sure it actually might be a seven. Help me, spirit! Help me!

So... My poppy's in the... I'll send you to the spirits for what you just did to Ragnaros. He's a fire lord. The fire lord himself. Oh no, the flame is dwindling, he has a bunch of really goofy legs underneath. Oh god. It's so disappointing. So, it's 18 to hit. Oh.

Sorry, I gave her plus five, but her plus is actually seven. Yeah, no, it's definitely plus seven. Can I do anything about that? No, I can't. Yeah, that hits me right in the face. Damn. Ten. Ten. Nine plus four. Oh, man, that would have been really good. Thirteen points of damage, force damage, as you feel this blast of...

of green, fetid magic shoot towards you. The smell of swamp water infused in this bolt of fairy magic that she has within her. And she actually only has one attack, so she's not attacking Gricko. - God damn it. - Oh no. It's Ragnar Ross's turn. And he's still in love with Ragnar Rachel. - So real quick.

What did you just say? Ragnaros is still in love with Ragnar Rachel. You can't wait until the beautiful finale when they still get married. Ragnaros and Ragnar Rachel? It all comes together. That's brilliant. That's a disaster. That's just a disaster. So I'm still in my form of dread, so I ate the thing.

And when you were describing the molten between the scales, I would look pretty cool with my form of dread going. Oh yeah, that actually looked pretty cool. And I'm like, oh, oh god! And I look at Gricko, like Gideon, like, smashing Gricko in the face. I look at Ragnaros. I go, what have I done? As I turn and see Twig, I go, I'm like, oh my god!

In serious black style, I get shot in the chest and I look down and I stumble back and look really confused and just fucking crumple on the ground. Unconscious? Unconscious. Okay. Can Twig say, "Get away from him, you bitch." Get away from him, you bitch! Yeah, you tell him, Twigsy! I got you, Gideon! We'll kill them all! Yeah, yeah.

Oh my god. Wait, was any of those... Would two AC have helped you? It doesn't matter, I was not in five feet of you anyway. Yeah. Yeah. If I was in five feet, I could have winged you as well. You feel life leave your body. Um...

You are still holding on, but darkness overtakes you as you fall unconscious to the floor. You can, for the time being, you can still vaguely hear what's happening around you. Though you can't reach out, you can't open your eyes, you can't move, you silently hope for your friend's success as you feel your consciousness ebbing and flowing.

You get that muffled sound where it's like hearing through water. You're going to break. The friend is in the pot fire. The friend's deep lord.

- This is a very serious moment for you, Crammy, I'm sorry. - Gideon, it's your turn. - I think, isn't that Frost's turn? - Oh, sure, yeah, it's Frost's turn. - Oh my god. - I guess we'll get Frost's turn. - Actually, it is the, is anyone within 10 feet of him? - Nope. - Twig? - Twig is. - Any enemies within 10 feet of him? - No, Crammy, no he's not. - Do I have a chance to think something at least?

Yeah, of course. For a second. Can that be any more cringe? And I'm the Monica. Frost would be the fucking Monica. That's true, yeah. And Twig would be the Phoebe. Oh, perfect. How you do?

Mikey would be ugly naked guy. No, no, no. Oh, Mikey. Oh, God. The creepy naked guy. Oh.

Oh, man, that's funny. That's some funny shit right there, guys. Anyway, Frost. Oh, I will turn around the disgusting brackish water out of my mouth and see all the chaos that's happening. Oh, and you ignited that. You extinguished that, yeah? Yeah.

I extinguished it inside of my belly with the golden corral water. This is so weird, but can you turn my mini to face into the room so that I can live through my mini's eyes? I have a golden dragonborn. Thank you. I just fucking love tea. Looking at all the chaos that I see. I love leaves. I'm going to make a desperate attempt to

See if I can resolve this problem as quickly as I can. I know we're in a factory, but we are also in a factory that, outside of the walls, there is a swamp. And presumably, if within 90 feet there were swamp water, like deep swamp water, would I have a sense of how I could perhaps warp this creature to underwater and into the swamp water using my mind?

What kind of abilities do you have that could give you that? Break the floor! The spell that I would be using is called Vortex Warp, and I can magically twist space around another creature. They make a constitution saving throw, which you can choose to fail, whatever you want to do. And you are then-- It's up to you, Arden. It's up to you. You have full agency. Sorry.

Fuck you, dude. The chosen space must be on a surface or in a liquid that can support the target without the target having to squeeze. So as long as it's not tight, I would just have it suddenly be on top of the water or under the water and have it sploosh down and be effectively surrounded by this brackish swamp water if it failed its constitution saving throw.

That is what I am thinking of doing. What's the range? I can cast it on a creature within 90 feet and then choose a point within 90 feet. It's crazy. It is a crazy ball. Let me just tell you, when somebody says I want to cast my Roger Rabbit hole on the ground, you say no. But I know what I'm doing is vital to his ability. Let me see the downfall now. Oh, yeah. We're probably elevated, right? What I'm endeavoring to do is quite combat ending, right? Pythagoras is about to be a dick to you. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Oh, because it'd be like down that way. Yeah. And I can't just pop him out into the air and let him fall into the water. It has to be like on the water, right in the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if I could just teleport any creature 90 feet into the air, that would be 8d6 damage for a second level spell. I'm doing it.

- The roof is a surface. - Oh, I didn't show you where it is 'cause I'm stupid. I have a brown pen so it's not really showing up on Swamp. - Gross. - No, you can't do this. - Okay. - No, I'm just kidding. So this is your location right here. And so I did count. Yeah, all of this water all around it is well within 90 feet.

I'm going to reach into my mind, seeing this strange creature, seeing Kremi dead on the cold concrete floor of this balloon engineering factory. Seeing the bloody nose of Gricko and seeing the insane looks on the faces of Twig and in...

Gideon. Nah, whatever. His name is Gideon. Oh, Gideon, Gideon, Gideon, that's right. And seeing a dust devil and the balloon, the water makes me, occurs to me.

If I can just force this creature out and into the swamp, perhaps I can end it for good. And I will endeavor to do so. Make a constitution saving throw. - I am not going to dread this because I think this is very fun. - I really hope it's more than that. - And so I am going to, you know what, I'll roll it publicly. - I will also, just one moment, I'm going to spend three, blast my three points, my psionic points. - His con is plus three. - To give you disadvantage on the first saving throw against the spell.

I love sorcerers! Are we rolling it publicly? I can do the big battle map here. Do you want to turn the camera this way? I can throw it across the thing. This is a heavy, heavy costing spell. I have to get rid of most of my beads. Can you move the cord from the thing? We're going to do it publicly, folks. First roll. Well. Yeah. That's an eight. That's an eight. Plus three is a 12.

And it's a disadvantage. So I literally can't... 12 fails. 12 fails. We didn't start the fire, but we'll end it. It all says, did Frosty just win with a Death Note monologue? Yeah. And it vanishes. It teleports outside of the factory and...

- Looks down, holds up a sign that says, "Uh-oh." - I don't know if this kills it, but it's now 90 feet away in the drain. - You watch, it is hard to see in the smoke that fills this room. This entity has been just,

oozing smoke from the moment that it was formed. The master, as it was called, by these fire sprites. And you reach out with your mind and your innate intellect and ability to hone in on exactly what you want. And you remember just 15 minutes ago that you yourself were submerged in the swamp.

your fight with the Marrow, your interaction with the Galabdur. I don't know how to pronounce that, but I'm going to say that's what it is. And you think to yourself, can you pinpoint that location? You've had enough. You need a moment to breathe. Kremi is unconscious on the ground and this needs to end now.

And with the culminations of your magic, you watch as this entity, it's almost as if gravity flips and you watch as its face with a look of shock feels, it feels itself being pulled through the building itself.

switching with, does it like switch places or something? - It's not the Baleful Transposition that I used to do. It just literally, I like to think of it as doing the Nightcrawler like Banff and just appears where I put it. - You watch as it, on its face, a look of oh no, as it pops out of existence. You hear a loud splash and the sound of rippling waves

as this entity is submerged in water. It takes water out of me. You wait one moment, two, three. You hear nothing else. No sounds of an entity trying to claw its way out of the water. All is quiet. Fire and rock. Water is quad effective. Nice. Crammy, can you please roll a death saving throw for me? Yep, yep. Hmm.

18. That was almost a five. I know, that really did slide in your favor. I eat a potato chip. You continue to listen and you hear some commotion outside, though it sounds like it's much further off in the distance. It's not on this portion of the circular swamp platforms that you're on. The waves and the water of your...

submerging of this entity has definitely made some ripples that have gotten the attention of some of the Bullywugs far off, but it doesn't seem to be having an effect on where you're at now. It is quiet in here. The embers that were burning, the six embers that were burning in the corners of this room are nothing but smoldering, or nothing but ash. There's no longer that smoldering bit of flame on the inside of them. It has been extinguished completely.

- Do I still feel like... - You no longer feel that strange hypnotic allure to the fire. You shake your head and you realize that something had overcome you, that you were not acting of your own volition. - I grab Gricko by the collar and spin around and begin to throw him towards the center of the room. And I go, "Oh, oh, man, oh."

Oh, hey, sorry, buddy. Oh, man. Did I punch you in the face again? No, no, don't worry. You just need me with your mouth. Oh, yikes. I mean, it doesn't look too bad. Let me just get your nose real quick. I thought I fixed my nose the other way. Did you ever wake now?

How do I look? You look. Oh, Kermit's dying. Oh, Kermit, no, man.

I'll leave Brickle immediately and run over to Kremi. I run over. I'll help! Bananya! As ten mini bananas are magical bananas spill out onto the ground, and I will let Didion pick them up and feed them to Kremi.

Here, eat ten bananas! It's the spiciest banana I've ever eaten. I take a swig from my water skin and just wash the disgusting flavor out of my mouth. Good work, Rico. That'll cleanse the taste real quick. As the growling will appear and you'll hear the drum sounds as the bananas spill across, we'll say, Thanks, Funky!

Actually, it's done good work. Thank you. So, did we win? Yes, I took a lot out of me, but I was able to change its position in time and space and put it in the lake outside. I believe that it's being extinguished or it's already gone, as we speak. Damn, man. You know, sometimes, Frost, you scare me. I need a rest. Frosty, that was amazing. Hold on. Stay out, Funky. Two, two, two, two.

And I've used three spell slots to cast Goodberry an additional two times. So 30 points of healing. I'm going to take... You can take 10 of them. I'm eating 10 bananas. I'm going to take 5.

I don't know if you guys have any more healing. I could use five. I'm taking five. Or ten, whatever you like. You take ten, I'll take five, you take five. I'm okay. Oh, I'll take ten. So yeah, three for... How many is... It's one per hit, so it's one hit point per mini banana. No, if you're low, I don't know.

So we'll each take time. Yeah. Get in there, maybe you should just... Just stay... And I'll... Oh, come on. Give me the banana. There you go. Oh, God. I can't hold all these bananas. I like to run to a window really quick and see if I can look out to wherever... If it would be like...

If I would have a sense of the direction that he teleported him, and you see if I can get a window. If you heard the compluse, you would know which direction. Yeah, I would say you're easily able to do that. All of you, however, have been inhaling a lot of smoke, and you are feeling lightheaded. You are feeling dizzy. You are feeling the powers of the Fae overcome you. I need you all to roll a d20.

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I rolled a nine. I assumed it was going to be an 11. Your head is replaced with the donkey's head. You can still speak, but where there had been an alligator head, there is now a donkey's head. I rolled a six. You believe you're turning into a wereperson. You are not. Four. You are incredibly paranoid and believe everyone is out to get you. And that's true. Nothing's changed. 16.

Your nose becomes a flopping penis. You don't notice any change in yourself. Nice. Well, what's going on around here? You got the donkey's head? Oh, fuck, man. Did anyone else just weirdly become aware of their teeth? Yes, just moments ago. I want to blip to my mirror. Oh!

Oh, God. Oh, God. Not again. What? I mean, you guys are... Well, actually, I don't think anything's happened to them yet. Nothing's happened to me. You're the only one that's had a fucking weird experience. What? Fucking what are you doing, man? Enemy of the Under Empire. No!

As I begin to literally try to viciously rip out your Achilles tendon with my teeth. With my teeth. I'll pick up my... If he gets close, I'll just kick at him. Hey, get out of here, man. Quit that. Quit that. Fuck.

I'm trying to, on all hands and legs, I'm trying to bite at your ankles. Ah, get away man, fuck! I'll just kick at him. I would say like each shot, you can roll to hit every once in a while, and if you do, you can do one point of damage. Revenge. What's an unarmed strike? It is strength. I think the lowest you can get is one.

Madness all around. 14. 21. For what? To hit him. Oh, you want to hit him back? Yeah, I want to hit him back. Oh, yeah. I'm running to let him bite me. So you do one point of damage, and Gideon then punches you in the body. Okay, here we go.

Don't look at me, you're the one choosing to do this. Okay. I mean... 12 damage. You take... I'm going to say my flame form's worn off at this point. You take 12 points of damage. So... So... I would backslap him around the face and he's trying to get me and then as I slap him, I want to scoop him up in my arm and just kind of hold him and then go, hey, jump...

Hey, chill. You did not just beat his sneeze all over Gringo. Hey, chill out, man. This is wrong. I think I'm allergic. You're holding Gringo. Oh.

Just choke him out like you usually do, all right? I'm just holding him, man. He's just going freaking crazy. Just choke hold him until he passes out. He's just going crazy. All right. What do you mean? It's appropriately silent. No.

Get one away from me, please. Get one away from me, man. You guys are a donkey head. What are you talking about? You can't buy... I'm almost there crawling away. Trying to crawl away. I haven't gotten up yet. You can buy my cheese wheel.

Realizing that I should always have been alone and that I should never have been with any of these fuckers because I can't trust the chaos that we constantly evolve into, I misty step into one of the free baskets that may still be hanging from the rafters if there's one. Sure.

Frost, you misty step your way up to the one remaining basket that is held aloft in the conical roof of this building as you peer over and you watch your former friends now turned potential enemies. They've lied to you. They've deceived you. They were not there to help you when you needed them the most. You had to take responsibility

this entity into your own hands. - It's just you and me now, Frost, me. - As the rest of you are on the floor of this building, debris scattered all around you as your head is the head of a donkey. Gideon's flopping nose is swinging this way or that as Gricko attempts to feast on his flesh.

How do you guys eat with teeth like this? I don't think any of you guys have teeth like that. You're a fucking donkey. I don't know. I mean, all your teeth sort of look like... I mean, maybe not frog. No, maybe not Gricko either. But I guess your teeth are sort of like that. You said I got donkey teeth? Well, no. You don't have donkey teeth. It's like regular human teeth. Cut it out, man. Cut it out. I like cheese. Cut it. Cut it.

Hey, you cut it out. You cut it out. You should probably let go of Gricko. No, man. He's freaking out. He's trying to attack me. No, this is just getting suggestive. What do you mean it's getting suggestive? What, because I'm choking him out? Every time you move, you slap Gricko in the cheek with your nose. What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean it's getting suggested, man? Look, I don't know how to explain this to you. Frost wasn't picking it up either, so I guess there's some sort of mental gymnastics going on inside your head. Picking what up? This is a totally normal thing to be doing to him right now. Brinko. I just flip open my mirror, and I just point it at him, and I show him what his nose looks like. I got a handsome looking face. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, you look at yourself, and you look just as handsome as ever. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I look at my pack for a pair of scissors. A+. A+. A+. You get a gold star.

Okay, I can't even look at you! That's a handsome man! I've been Frost tested! Hey Frost, you got a pair of scissors? I'm not- You need some help. I'm not up here. Stop. Yeah you are. Look, I mean, we can- he is like, talking to yourself. You keep saying "you." Why are you asking?

Just because I'm really tired of Gid pointing his, you know, his nose at everyone. What are you talking about, man? You're all clearly been mind warped. You've all been changed by Ragnaros. By what?

Are you talking about the Fire Lord? Yes, the creature has warped your brains. I no longer trust any of you. No, that guy was nothing. You took him out like that. You bent space around him and threw him in the lake. You took everything out of me. Oh, shit, I didn't roll for twice. Do I see anything out the window, by the way?

assuming that I can see even though I'm standing 16 inches away from it? You go up to the glass. Oh, yeah. I forgot you were going to do that. Yeah, you pressed your face. Wow, I can't see. Look at the hail going.

- You pressed your face up against the glass and you look out and you see that there is across the way, there is a large gazebo. There seemed to be a ton of bully wugs milling about over in that direction. Though it's hard to get a real,

picture on the entire situation you do see that quite a few of these bully wugs are dressed in really elaborate outfits similar to the bully wugs that you saw upon your arrival women and women with parasols and elaborate dresses large hats men in tail coats with canes and top hats

And they are pointing towards the water and you see that bobbing on the surface of the water is the charred remains of this Fire Lord. What had been this large, fiery elemental is now a shriveled, waterlogged hunk of coal that barely forms the shape of a man.

And as you begin to look at this, you see that they're pointing off towards the smoking building that had been the balloon factory. And you notice that one of the women turns towards as she's saying something and it's almost as if she does a double take.

And she sees your face pressed up against the glass. She screams loudly, covers her eyes, and then hides behind someone else. And a group of them begin to look over, and they're pointing and screaming. And that's what you see. Can one of the Bullywugs be walking up to the charred remains of the firework? It's floating in the water. It's floating in the water? Yeah. This is not to fine you.

Sorry, I'm just gonna make that Moana reference and move on. Beautiful. That was really good. Yeah, I like it. I spin back around to address my god. Oh my god! Please turn my back. Please, if there's an archfey I could pray to or something.

This is actually, in the grand scheme of things, kind of like the least worst one we've ever had. I mean, Gricko's just kind of hanging out. Nothing happened to me. Frost is just doing a normal Frost thing. And, you know, I mean, you got the donkey head, but really that's not too bad. Yeah, it's not so dissimilar from what yours was before.

It's not so dissimilar. It's why am I singing this song? Oh, that's the worst one. Hold on. It's hard to see my life.

tiny voice you've got a penis on your face see that's what I'm trying to tell you I don't like a penis on your face wait who's got a penis on their face Ross you got a penis on your face you do Gideon what you can't feel that hit slapping against your chin no that's not your penis no

No, I showed him what he looked like in the mirror and it just made it worse. I mean... The thought of it... He's full of memories! Just do one of these. Just blow your hair out of your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not working at all. I don't like him when he has erections on his face.

Fancy, man. Calm down, dude. You got an erection up there? No, it's you. You've got a nose that is a long penis. I literally have a normal nose. You guys are all fucking fave cursed or whatever. I just looked at myself in the mirror. I'm not fave cursed. Just whatever you do, don't yawn. You'll probably suffocate. Oh.

Let me ask you this, kid. It's pretty fucking funny. What does it smell like right now? Take a big whiff. It smells like Gricko and those trees that are kind of like out in the woods. But we're in a small, man. I mean, that's totally normal. Do you mean the sperm trees of Pennsylvania?

Yeah, it's like the sperm trees in Pennsylvania and also Gritco. Mostly Gritco, but some kind of weird mixture of the two. Like, when that time you went to Hershey Park, you had plague now. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's it, though. I mean, it's pretty normal. We're in a swamp and there are a lot of trees around and Gritco's covered in, you know, well, actually I sneezed on him, so just accidentally sneezed. No, it's just me.

You know what, maybe it's an illusion. What do we think, fellas? Maybe that's why he can't see it. It doesn't have a physical form. Does my finger pass through it? No. Oh, God. Fuck! See, he didn't even... I pressed the tissue tissue in my hand. Oh, nothing will get that off. Oh, man.

Did you feel anything weird? It just felt like he flicked your nose. No, I didn't even feel like he flicked my nose, man. I don't even know, you know, just normal stuff. Just classic guy stuff, you know? Yeah, I mean, we're always sitting around a campfire flicking noses. I'm so ironic. I know you don't understand what's going on, but everyone else witnessed that.

That was ironic, okay? Just the, uh, just normal, you know, like we're around the campfire at night, we're just all flicking each other's noses. There's not a lot to do when we're going to bed. What the ass the fuck? When they start to come to again after being choked down, I'll be like, don't put my cheese anywhere. I'll be like...

Get in, boy. It's arresting over your shoulder. Surface dweller, put me down. Surface dweller, put me down. You want to give him a nibble now, Graco? Yeah!

You look so small in his eyes. Put me down! Put me down! Put me down! That surface is dry. No, I'm not going to let you down, man. You keep attacking everybody. You're freaking out. You think like, you know, you're... I don't know what the hell you think is going on.

I pull out a chef's knife. It's like that moment in Ratatouille when they transition to the knife cooking portion. Hey, can we focus on what's fucking important, by the way? I mean, probably...

he threw the fire guy out to the swamp. I think he's dead. His remains are just floating out there. There are a bunch of frog people looking at me in, I think, just giddy excitement. I don't know why, though. They're screaming and hiding behind one another. I mean, I think that's just kind of the normal reaction. They either saw your penis or they're your biggest

Yeah, I think it's probably the second one because I don't know how they would have seen my penis. I mean, just my face was over the window. So, I mean, you know, my pants are on. I don't know how they would have seen your penis.

- I hope that's just a transmogrified nose is all I'm gonna say. Oh, what happened to that bullywug, fella? I'm gonna use my donkey to try and-- - I will say you can easily look around now that most of the smoke has dispersed and you see that there is a bullywug that is peering over the table that he had used as a barricade and he is watching all of this in horror. - What to do, friend?

Apologies, you had to witness all of this and overhear this unpleasant conversation. Certainly you wouldn't use this to blackmail us. You should be making that noise. You're a donkey now. Yeah. Is my mind also turning into a donkey? No, but you have a donkey's throat. It's like Pinocchio.

It's Pinocchio's. We have your ascensions, but you have the violent hee-haw occasionally. Yeah, you can't just be you with no donkey attributes. Does Donkey ever do that in the 2001 film Shrek? No, but it makes a lot of references to layers and waffles. And you haven't done that at all. What to do? The name's Kremlin Crew, and I love waffles. LAUGHTER

Awful sorry about this place, but uh... We don't normally look like this or act like this, I guarantee that. Awfully, uh, might have been kind to you if you didn't use this to blackmail us later. And, uh, you know, maybe in exchange for the fact that we took care of your whole fire elemental problem. For frame of reference, actually, him...

him, myself, always look exactly like this. So, we're totally normal. You saw us when we walked in. He's the only one that is looking different because he's a donkey head. He's just freaking out. I am the rat king. You unhand me. Use your unclean, I mean your too clean hands. This is too clean.

It is around this time that a gust of wind whips up and moves through this building. It shakes some of the things that are still hanging from the walls. It moves about the ashes that had previously been the burning embers.

And with a fresh breath of air, you begin to feel the fey curses ebb from you. Oh, this feels kind of nice. You haven't made that sound? You know, you've never been just like caught out in the wind with your pants off? It's actually in my undergarments. It feels...

You know, like an updraft. You're wearing like a warrior's kilt. - Oh, hey, sorry man. - Please move me down. - Yeah, and you know, sorry. - Please get my face. - Oh, oh, oh, yeah. - Oh, did I sneeze on you? - Yeah. - I don't know man, something about like ruffling around in the rat dirt like really just agitated my sinuses. - Hey.

You know, I wouldn't mind if we just never spoke of this ever again and we can move on. Yes, let us move on. I have no idea what you're talking about, but thank you. You're welcome. For fixing that issue. Is it over? The fires aren't starting. I can sleep again? No, Frost took care of it. Yeah, I am a...

getting over the other side of the basket and holding myself until the very last second before I can attempt to drop down safely. And just like a cat does, you land on all fours. Well, you can definitely sleep again, but probably not in here because there's just like no chance of structural integrity in this building is what stood on this fucking fire.

No, I'm sure it'll be fine. They're balloon engineers. They have the best buildings that you could possibly... No, man, the first thing they said was we're not fucking balloon engineers. We just work in the balloon factory. Is that true? Did I miss that?

No, I'm not a balloon engineer. Well, see? I simply work in the balloon factory. And we're in a swamp hut, Frost. I mean, this isn't some marvel of engineering. Yeah. I mean, the fire has torn a gigantic hole in the wall right there. He slowly moves his way around.

around from behind the table and he begins to dust the soot off of him and tries to fix his outfit. He's wearing a leather vest with pockets and he kind of checks the sleeves of his shirt. Well, I'm all in one piece. I've been trying to quell those fires since that fairy dragon escaped.

Oh, you've been at this for a long time then. Yes. This is the reason that the furry dragon was able to escape. They stole the kindling from beneath Pavlona's cauldron, tossed it in here to create a diversion while they stole one of the balloons. Oh. And I haven't been able to get them out, and Pavlona said we had two more days to put the fires out.

She was going to destroy the entire thing and all of us with it. Oh, well, that's not very kind of her, is it? Having slept, I've lost countless men and women in an attempt to get this, to resolve this. King Wigglewog is a great king. King Wigglewog? No, not...

I'm sorry. I thought we saw Wigglewog die. King Phillip, you mean. You must be very tired. Oh yes, you're very tired. King Phillip the 19th. No, King Gullop the 19th. Gullop. It is, Wigglewog was one of the bullywogs that escaped with the balloon. Oh yeah. You happen to be friends with him? I knew him, of course. No, I was not nearly as close to him as

As others were. He had a very dignified end. The other bullywug that was part of the attempted escape. So what you're telling us is that Blavlorn...

had a, like, malevolent calcifer-style fire spirit as her cauldron. I'm not quite sure what a calcifer is. Had a sentient fire spirit that was a hive, that had a soul of six pieces, that also was a hive mind, and that got stolen and got burnt, used on you poor lot for distraction. All I know...

is that the coals that started those embers in this place came from Mavlorna's cauldron beneath it. And that she wanted them back. Oh, well... I don't think she's getting them back. But I know she was more concerned with no one else getting a hold of them. So I think... I hope...

That there will be no ramifications. Yeah, I mean, a job like that normally takes 40 people, but, you know, we handled it with five. I would say, given the splash that I made outside, there is a chance that Bavlorna is aware of what's happened to her coals, and I was just feeling very paranoid, but I don't think it's unreasonable to say that...

You might suspect some sort of retribution or consequence. I'll look for a wire. I'm sure she'll send one. He points to the piece of wire that extends from the window of this building straight up into the clouds. Is this some kind of communication device? Among other things. Is it how Bavlorna commands or controls this?

No, she doesn't need something like wires to control this place. She's powerful and people are afraid of her. And she always has the ear of the king. Is she a good leader? The king commands it.

Well, now that the fire's out, you can probably get to your Boggle Tournament. It's Boggle Tournament, right? No, you're thinking Bunko. Oh, Bunko Night. He looks to you. Who sent you here? The Bunko Buddies.

Sorry, it just came out of my mouth. No, we were just talking the whole ump gunk. You know, it's funny, I didn't write his name down. I do have his name written down somewhere. Ump gunk, the Earl's head. Ump gunk, the Earl's head. Ump gunk. Ump gunk. Ump gunk. Ump gunk. Ump gunk. Ump gunk.

Olafgung, we was chatting with him and he was just telling us all about Bunko tonight and we're big fans of Bunko so we just figured that at some point we could maybe participate help each other out by having fun playing Bunko, rolling just three dots over and over again you've done me a great service you should really see the king well that's the plan where can we find him?

If you head over the bridge just outside of the building, be wary of the north side of the bridge. Try to stay closer to the south side of the bridge. And just across the way, you'll see a gazebo. The king likes to bathe in whatever rays of sunlight protrude through the cloud top with his...

gaggle of servants and other members of his soggy court. I'm sorry, I'm Duke Ikrind. And he walks around to shake your hand. Oh, you're a duke? Nice to meet you. Sure. Oh, is it more of like an honorary title? And Kremi, as he shakes your hand, you feel a piece of paper slip between your fingers. I am needed elsewhere, as I'm sure that Bavlona will be.

And you see his eyes kind of roll back in his head for a minute as he starts to fall asleep on his feet. But for the first time in a long time, I feel like I deserve a nap.

Get some rest, fella. Before you go-- You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. Yeah. But I wouldn't keep the king waiting for too long. He looks around at the smoldering bits of this place and he hops up for a second and his eyes look out the window towards the floating body in the lake.

I don't think your presence will go unknown for much longer. And we can take credit and get a grand reward, right? Yes, actually, that's a good point. And he reaches into his pocket and he hands you a brooch. It is the brooch of a crest and on it is a large plump fly.

It appears to be some sort of coat of arms. Show that to the king. Tell him that...

You have done a great service by Duke Ikrind. Oh. And my hope is it will gain you favor. Well, thank you for the fly, your dukiness. Thank you, yes. Very kind. He will, he doesn't even flinch at the your dukiness. As he bows to you slowly as he backs out of the hut, or out of the house. Thank you.

Before you go, one quick question. Does the Duke like Buncombe? I mean the King. I don't believe yous have a plane.

And with a sly smile, you watch as he steps out of the house and quickly shifts and disappears. Hey, don't fall asleep with all that smoke inhalation in your lungs. Oh, he's gone. I don't think we're seeing that guy ever again. You know how much smoke he intook?

That guy's fucking dead. He was winking and smiling at Kremi quite a bit, though. Did he hand you a condom or something? I think his eyes were just freaking out, man. His eyes rolled back in his head. Duke E. Grind is dead. He's gone. You're just going to have to learn to accept that, Gideon.

Here's the dookie fly. And then if you want to pass this to Crummy. Oh, thank you. I feel like you deserve this after you, you know, you sent the coal elemental to the drink. I will wear it with honor. Oh, that looks quite sharp. How do I look?

It looks quite nice. You look like you might be able to join the soggy court. It kind of matches the green. I cover it with my robe. You pin it to yourself? Yeah. As you do, the wings animate and begin to flutter. They are. It makes a soft buzzing noise as it settles into place. And occasionally you look down at it and you see it move a little bit. Its hands begin to go like this. Oh, my God.

That's weird. Why would it do that? Does it make any connection? There's no pun there. You look like you'd be riding home with the dookie missus. It begins to go like this. You look very suspicious. Why are you plotting something? You look like nobility, Frosty.

No, he didn't give me a condom. He gave me a folded up piece of paper, probably some kind of resistance coat. Oh, no, there's the condom. In his Rocky Talkie room. He's...

Why would he staple the condom? That ruins the point on the condom. Why would he staple the condom? I actually think that's maybe a Bollywood leech holder. I'm just saying.

I threw the staple condom over my shoulder. No! I'm very tired. I'll be going to bed now. That's why I was winking at you. Man, I thought I was like learning thieves' can or something. My room number is...

For a good time call. No, it is, it's resistance code, or it's just a message. It says, "Find Illig, the Baron of Mukstum, at once. The revolution lives."

We should keep our fucking voices down, by the way. Oh, wait a minute! Wait, we should go see the king or go see the baron? The baron of what stump? Muckstump. Muckstump. And it's Illy, you say? Illig. Illig. Illig with a G. Muckstump. Well, all these fancy titles. We should still cross the bridge as safely as we can and...

Talk to the king. We avoid the north side. Yes, exactly right. He didn't give any directions, just find him. So we'll have to ask around and we know where the king is so we can at least check the gazebo, see if he's there. So he and his court just hang out at a gazebo all day? You know what aristocracy do?

It's like a bunch of obnoxious teenage cosplayers at an anime convention. Yeah, I mean, they just hang out. That's all they do. They got all the money in the world. They don't even have to work. They just like hang out and throw parties and drink and eat and sit in gazebos. Doesn't surprise me at all. I'm trying to think. We just had like a mayor and like, you know, there's, I mean, then the bad folk came in and they weren't really kingly. They were just kind of more anyway.

No, I mean, I don't really... I've never been interested in governments or how societies really function. Well, I'm fascinated. We're going to spend a long time, Griggo, talking to this gentleman about governance, economics...

Yeah, I promise you can handle that. Chief exports. I'll keep this safe. Do we actually all need to go to this thing? I mean, is it like optional? Is it optional? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's absolutely mandatory. To the mandatorium. I always fell asleep during history class.

I mean, when I wrote that song that was called The Tree of Liberty is Watered with the Blood of Tyrants, I didn't know what it meant. I just thought it sounded badass. I just thought it sounded cool. You don't have to pay attention. FaceTime with the king's a good thing, even if it's just for perception's sake. So just, you know, nod along as Frost does all the political talk. I've had some FaceTime with the king.

Maybe he should pick up Bunko and the devil's playthings and all. Whatever you do, Gricko, I need you to do two things for me. Okay. Don't fall asleep. Okay. Don't mention Bunko. Okay. Oh, that's a good point. No, nobody say a fucking thing about Bunko. You understand? All I've been talking about is Bunko for the last, like, ten hours. It's in the vault. And the king's never played before. Oh.

He's not in on it. He probably likes his... You know, he's hoping that he avoids the guillotine three days longer than the last one. Locked in the vault of Godot. That's a good point. He's probably quite a paranoid character, given the nature of leadership here. And Mavalorna has his ear or the other way around. There's almost certainly a power dynamic that we need to unpack. There may be a reason to...

scaring if we need to but that should be our last resort let's at least learn what we can and we can always come back and meet with them again if we need to but you know based on what old old dukiness said we gotta find this illy guy the baron horses at once so witches first but we don't even I wouldn't even begin to know where to find this guy

I have one final thought before we go on. Do I dare tinker with one of these wires and see if I can't divine or learn more about its communicative nature? The how in addition to the why?

Speaking of tanker, let me see if I can't take a look at one of these balloon rods. Oh, yes. Unless they're all burned to a cinder. Probably. I mean, you could probably learn something from some scrap metal. Maybe we just kind of fly on out of here. We'll go, you know, I mean, just fly around. I mean, there's no functional balloons. It's very easy for you to see that the balloons here are not going to be functional. You'd need weeks of...

to pull parts together to create a balloon from this. I'm pretty confident I can get that one up and running in like an hour. It's just a basket. I think I can do it. It looks like it can fly because it's hanging from the ceiling. No, well look. Really? That's amazing. We'll get it out of here in no time. No time at all, man. We'll be flying around. God, just whip up a couple things. It can't be harder than just tying some balloons to baskets. Balloon engineering is pretty tricky. I

I think that our best bet is going to be meeting up with old Utgunk later on and using that balloon. But I'll bet you there's a schematic lying around here that you can study in the meantime. Maybe, you know, brush up before we have to make our daring escape. Well, yeah. Okay. I'll look for that. I'm telling you. I don't think one hour. Roll an investigation check. Can I help him? Yeah. So roll an advantage.

And I will endeavor to investigate the wire if I can. You should do it, Vostal. I'll join you. What would you like to do? I want to just observe where the wire connects to the house and see how it might communicate. So from this vantage point, you are unable to see how it connects to the house in the hag's house. You can see that it attaches here at the very top of the window.

on the outside and it looks like it's just attached with a hook. The wire could easily be pulled off if it needed to be. There are about 10 pieces of waterlogged clothing that are attached to it. It is fairly tight. You, like pulling it, it makes a

kind of comforting zinging noise. So there is some resonance, like a musical resonance to it. Yeah, there's a resonance to it. But what you notice, however, is that as you look towards it, it looks like something is moving towards you. And it takes a moment for you to realize that there is a small winged insectoid that is crawling along the wire and held aloft to it is a dirty piece of parchment.

It eventually gets to the very end of the wire, right outside the window. And as you step back, you can see that from any vantage point in this room, it just looks like there is a note hanging outside of the window. The insect is not visible, but as you get closer, you can see that it is there just waiting. Say nothing, Graco. Just allow me. Nothing!

I'll be more specific later. Mind hand. I will get within 30 feet and I will pluck it.

We'll say the window, for all intents and purposes, make it easy. The window's now open and you're able to mind hand. I could probably, if there's holes in the... You were able to get it with your mind hand. I rip it back to me and I eventually grab the piece of paper. The moment the piece of paper is taken, the insect flies up into the sky and it appears to be heading straight back towards the building. Hmm.

You take the paper, it's folded. And as you begin to open it, you do see that there is a scrawling on this, which appears to be some haphazard handwriting. But as you unfold it, you all begin to hear words. Duke Ikarine, my coals are destroyed, you foul-mouthed toad. You will pay for this.

I will find you. You can't hide. And that is where we'll end the session. The letter rips itself up and explodes.

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