Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 2 | It Begins at the Crossroads: Part 2
03:47:25 Share

Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Capriccio DeSesto, you can call me Caprice, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Winks. Here's what happened last time. Hello! Strange men that just dove into the bushes. Oh, hey dear bud! I like your axe! -Heather! -Hi! Hey, did you hear us?

I'm not a threat at all, I just want to know why you dove into the bushes. I'm standing right over here, you do not need to shout at me! Okay, we're looking for Kirstein! You hear kind of this loud guttural roar that kind of echoes off it. Oh gods! Help me! Help me!

*Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Growls* *Grow

The party began at a crossroads in the block wood of a large forest that sprawls over most of the country of Corvacchia that is on Striga, a continent in my world of Avantris.

and the party was split up into pairs of two: Toa and Felix, Lufty and Iris, and then Caprice and Herja. They all met at the same time along with an individual named Godric Zulch and his ox named Lockhart. I didn't like that guy.

They met, they had some conversation. Godric said that it was dangerous to go alone or even in pairs, they should travel together. And the party begrudgingly agreed to do it. And then after that, they decided to camp, but it wasn't long before they heard screams and roars of useful things. They encountered a bunch of humans or humanoids that seemed to have been

have thick black hair, blood red eyes, and a horn, a small horn for shooting, chasing a fleeing citizen of this town. They save the gentleman and then have investigated the town. They found the city, or rather the village of Miss Crow's Crossing. A lot of it burned down, torn down, and

but surprisingly few bodies for how many people would be living here. And then they then heard noise coming from the local graveyard and saw three large goat-like creatures. These were just humans. They were bipedal and...

humanoid shape, but they were very clearly beastial goat creatures. And in their indecision to figure out what to do in their shitty stealth roles, they drew on the goats and they began, they charge at them and they're going to attack and then we're going to start combat. So we're all pretty weird. There's some pretty weird things going on, guys. Oh.

- Oh, that's good. - And sing song verb has it right. Tilt or nothing. - I forgot that I have advantage on initiative. - 20 to 25. - Oh, shut up and roll. - You do. - Not me. - 21. - 21. - Who wants to go first? - Okay. - Ivers is going first? - Yeah. - Then Caprice? Okay, 15 to 20. - Capricci? - 16. - 15.

Okay, Cho and Lopty, what do we got? A nine? Be my guest. Ooh, it's me, I'm nine. It's you, Rooney. Ooh, my guest. So, in this graveyard, you have these three goat creatures. As they are charging for you, remember you have no torchlight, so those that are dark will be disadvantaged on everything in this battle.

Unless you decided to generate some kind of light. Or if I light something on fire. A lot of my spells say that when I cast them, if there are flammable things in the way, they catch on fire. Well, just let me know if that's the case, and I'll let you know. It specifically says that if something is flammable, it's not being worn. So, like, I can't light people on fire.

But like if I like-- Like a wooden chair. Yeah, yeah, or a tree or something. So there's no, like from the buildings behind us that aren't fire, too far away. Not enough, this is dim, dim, dim, like yeah. You're in darkness. Thank you for the luck, we're gonna need it. Thank you. Thanks, Verb. Thank you. And so they are charging at you, frothing,

There seems to still be that same kind of bestial fury, but there seems to be far more control as they're stomping forward, their horns all down, holding their weapons low as they're all just charging at you. And they're all going to go first.

and rolling well initiative. So they go first directly at, can you just move up to Persia, Toa, and then in Caprice, they're gonna run right in there in between their lot of you, and they are charging heads down, and so they are going to... We are going to get one attack on Persia that's gonna miss, one on Toa,

That is, the one on Toa is going to hit. That is going to deal... Let me consult D&D Deon to reduce my health. Nine points of bludgeoning damage and you need to make a strength saving throw for me. Let me wait, so let's do the nine damage first. So nine, apply changes, and then a strength saving throw you say? Yep. Well I rolled a one, let me see what my bonus is. I'll probably fail.

- Join the dirt, no. - Six. - They miss me, right? - They miss you. - Or seven. - You manage to deflect it with your shield. Toa, you get slammed into the force of this headbutt is so strong, you are slammed back, you fall back, you hit your head on the ground, you are prone and stunned for a turn. As... - No, Toa!

And Caprice, the one that goes directly towards you, smashes into you, doing 11 points of bludgeoning damage. - I don't care for it. - Oh no, piercing damage rather, as the horns gory is piercing damage on you as well. As the horns gory-o and make a strength saving throw for me. - I refuse.

Let's go with a 12. A 12. Unfortunately, that's not enough. You get knocked back as well. You slam down. You are prone and stunned.

And, uh, thrown toa? What, uh, tile am I on? You guys want to knock the guy over. Sorry? Which tile am I on? Am I next to him, or? You were, like, right there, I thought. And toa was next to you. I thought. Oh, I see what you're saying. Um...

I was trying to see if I had an ally within five feet, but if I don't, then... I would say you would. Well, if you were, you might have been here. I mean, either way, you're within five feet, because that's the radius, right? I mean, it's a five-foot radius. I wasn't sure if I was on the other tile or not. That's fine. You are now within five feet. It's okay, it already happened. So, Iris, you're up. Okay, I am going to cast Bane on all three of them.

Bane? Yes. So they have to make charisma saving throws. I was lured by it. So I'm just going to go down the horn here. The one on the right fails. The one in the middle succeeds. The one on the left succeeds. So three is the only one that was effective? So the one directly in front of her fails. Okay, so we were doing it from the other direction. Yeah, sorry, my fault. And then...

The one... Can we get a die on him for Bane? The one that's directly in front of Toa, number one, I'm gonna cast, um, Toll the Dead. Okay. So it's a bonus action for Bane? Uh-huh. It's a bonus action for Bane. Oh, no, I'm a liar, so I'm not gonna do that. Okay. You're right, thank you. So, uh, you, uh, say a prayer to, uh, Anubis as, uh, this kind of, this, this baneful energy comes up and then you see these bandages, these dark bandages, and

managed to slither their way around one of them. Okay, Caprice, you're up. Oh, you're stunned. So you're on the ground, just kind of like your head has hit the ground hard after being gored, and you're not feeling good, so you are stunned. You're out of action. Perfect, you're up. Someone said tell them what you're doing. I think you can stand up. I know, I can hold it. I'm stunned.

Can I stand up? Are you prone? No, you're prone and stunned. So for one turn you can take no action, then on the next turn you can stand up, right? Is that what the stunned thing is? So you just lose your turn. Can I help him up if he's stunned? You can take no actions.

What is it? I need a cheat sheet. It's on the DM screen. Incapacitated. Can't move. Can't speak. Only falteringly. Automatically fails. Strengthened. Dexterity. Saving throws. Attack. Roll. You'd have to use something like Lesser Restoration to get rid of that.

So I can't help him up. I am going to use my action to cast... I'm going to touch Caprice to cast Protection from Good and Evil. Okay. To concentration for 10 minutes. Okay. And then...

I will remain where I am. Okay. So you lean down, seeing Caprice just go down hard, two gore wounds in his abdomen. You place your hand, you see this kind of orangey glow come over him, and he has a Precious of the Evil. So any...

So here's a question that I have. My sculpt spells says that the targets that I choose, they automatically pass their saving throws, and if they pass their saving throws, they take no damage. But incapacitated says they automatically fail their saving throws. Strength and dexterity, yes. This is a constitution saving throw. Okay, so I am going to cast Thunderwave at second level.

So it is a it is instantaneous. It's a 15 foot cube that originates from me I can choose one plus the spells level which is three to save People so I'm gonna choose one two three, so they don't get affected by it nice, and I don't hit the three And then so is a

I roll 2d8, but because I'm casting at the second level or higher, I add 1d8, so it's 3d8. Okay. So I need 2d8. Can I borrow d8? What will I roll? You have a con attack save is what it says. Con 14. Here. What? What?

We had a discussion in session zero. The Thunderwave? Yeah. Yeah, so it's... It says "from you," I guess. Yeah, no, but it's from you, like, there's a tweet about it. I fucked it up. Okay. Yeah. We're good? So the cue comes from you in a direction. Yes, yes. It's not out from around you. Yeah, that's what it says here. Sweeps out from you. Yeah.

- Only nine damage. - So we're just gonna go your left to right. So guy with the die on him fails. - Okay. - Guy in the middle passes. - Okay. - Guy next to him fails. - All right, they are pushed 10 feet away from me. - Okay.

Okay. And how much damage did they all take? Nine. Except the guys who fail, he takes half, I guess. The person who succeeded takes full. The person who failed takes half. So, no, no. What number was it? The opposite. The opposite. So, here. So, two and three take nine. Yep. One takes four. Yep. So, as...

As you see both Caprice and Toa go down, you put your hand into your cloak, you put out your hand and you hear the same clash of thunder, similar to how when Herjian powered her weapon, and a massive blast of thunder energy erupts from your hand, knocking two of them back. The one directly in front of you,

uh, hunkers down and his hooves kind of slide back a little bit, but he manages to hold his ground. The other two kind of stumble back as they're slid. You see one of the tombstones get completely shattered as one of their hooves kind of clicks it, uh, clips it as they're, uh, knocked back. Is this a tree? What is this? Yeah, it's a tree. Can I, like, move around it? You can't tell. And you just dart behind the tree. Yeah, you dart behind the tree. Okay, uh, Toe, you're up. Oh, you're stuck. Um,

I'm going to use my action to light my torch and just get a grip of what's going around me, and I'm going to move in front of my dear deer. You take your action and root it around in your bag, you pull out a torch and you strike your flint and tinder, and it lights up, shedding light, whatever rules it is.

Rich, do you know what the rules are for TORCH is? 28 feet. Oh, it's 20 feet, yeah. For one hour. Oh, cool. So yeah, 20 feet of bright light and then dim light. It's on your DM screen. Yeah. Providing bright light and a 20-foot radius dim light for an additional 20 feet. So it's always double. So lantern, I think, is 40 and 40. Got it. 30 and 30. Got it. TORCH is 20 and 20. Got it. Okay. It's their turn again. So after being...

knocked back. They're just going to charge right back at Hersha and Toa. And how long? It's stunned until... Remember, stuns aren't automatic crits. Yeah, no, I know. So you know. So one is going to once again... He's moving...

10 feet in the straight line, so he's gonna try to headbutt again. Oh shit! That is going to hit you, Herja. That's going to... He's gonna manage to find a weak spot. And that's with Bane? Oh, maybe not. Yeah, with Bane, yeah, it still hits. And so it manages to find a weak point in your armor, and the horns sink in, delaying...

15 points of piercing damage as the gores you would make a strength saving throw, please.

- Not 20, so 22. - Okay, you manage to, even though it gores you, you manage to kind of grab onto the horn and stand your ground against this thing. This is gonna be advantage against Toa, and get a five and a six. And you can see it kind of trying to pick you up by its horns to gore you. And it misses, it stumbles a little bit. Okay, and the one,

The one that is in front of Caprice is going to bring its sword down on Caprice. He has disadvantage because he has protected. Correct. And that is going to just... Wait, hold on. Uh-oh. Twelve?

Nope. Nope. So it's going to hit you, but it kind of seems stumbled by some sort of supernatural force and the blade slams into the dirt next to you. And you guys are no longer safe. Iris, you're up. I'm going to number one. I'm going to cast-- number one is taking damage, right?

I'm going to cast Fall of the Dead on it. So it's wisdom save. Then it's going to pass. Okay. So nothing happens. Okay. So you hear the gong kind of ring and it seems to manage to resist the tolling of Anubis' bell. Caprice? I stand up.

I assume I'm no longer stunned? Yes, you're no longer stunned. I'm fine. Oh, God. Knowing that humor is the best solution to most of life's problems, I'm going to look and see if I can find the creature that gored me. Can I see that creature? He is right in front of you. Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you. I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone. And now I'm going to...

Casts Tasha's hideous laughter. Oh my god. Wisdom saving throw for it. Woo!

It fails catastrophically. Oh my god. Is there a way to make someone laugh at your joke? Well, if the intelligence score is four or less, it isn't affected. No, it's definitely an intelligence score. It's been capacitated and unable to stand for the duration of up to a minute. Concentration, I'm into it.

That's me. Okay. I don't have a bonus action. I guess I'm fine there. As you say that incredible one-liner, it stops and looks at you and blinks a second. And all of a sudden, it kind of just, its neck, you see veins on its neck kind of pulsing as it's trying to resist. And there's like...

And it's bleeding in this horrific combination. - That is horrifying. - And roaring monsters and laughter. And it even clutches its side. It looks like it's in pain almost from the fact that we're being forced to laugh and bleed. And it is on the ground laughing in this horrific display. - It can try to recover at the end of each of its turns. - Yeah, got it. Okay, Hersha, you're up. - Hersha.

is going to use her action to... Alright, I'm okay for now. I'm gonna just smack the one in front of me with foil. - Play music. - Where's the work at?

Oh nice, that'll hit. 23? 23 that hits. Cemetery. I know right? Could be cemetery. It takes... No it's literally a cemetery ghost boss in Cuphead. I have four bludgeoning damage. Four bludgeoning damage? That's all I do. Okay you swing around Dakota, it smashes into the stomach of this beast. Are you saying south or north Dakota? Definitely north.

- Wait, what number one was it? What number was it? - The one that's directly in front of me. Not the baned one, but the one that's in front of you. - Number one. - Number one, okay. - Number two. - It smacks into it. It doesn't do as much as you would have hoped, but it does smash into it. Okay, with that, it is Felix's turn. - Hey! - Freelix! - I'm going to... - Freelo. - Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, and Firebolt number three. - Okay.

I love this music. I haven't landed one of these yet. 17 plus 3 is 6, is 23. 23, that absolutely hits. 1d10! Snappy Combat, Legend of Adventure. I love Snappy Combat. 10! 10! Yay! I made my tea go out of my lap. Yes, I did. Your hand never really leaves your coat. Your little...

your coat as a bolt of fire arcs, kind of illuminating the tombstones and hits the side of the face of the one that's standing over Toa. It blasts, it's singeing, it's dark, beastial front. - I got you, buddy. - 10 points of damage. So what number was that? - Number three. - Number three. - Oh, thanks, man. - This song, wow. - Toa, you're up, though. Why don't you start? I stand up and I push myself up. Thanks, man. It really got my gut.

Now's not the time!

You see a horrific goku you come to, and laughing hysterically. They're all within the light, right? So I'm not disadvantaged? Yes. Okay. So I am going to, after taking that hit, I'm going to focus, get in my tribal warrior stance and rage, and then I'm going to come in with my maul. Okay. You channel the power of your ancestors and give it to that trance. Roll the two. Roll the two.

You're not having one, Dameron. You're too focused on the joke. There's still a little cuckoo bird flying around your head when you're seeing the stars. This is Beatrice. You're still stuck with him. You do, however, smash some ancestral tombstone.

I'm sorry! How could you do that? They were sacred! I know, but insistence is so important. I say, I guess we shouldn't have come here. And I'm going to run up to number two here and attack. I'm just going to swing the torch as a melee attack. Okay. Yeah, right in the eyeball. Right in the eyeball. Okay, I see that.

And does fire damage and shit? So that's 23 to hit. That hits. Six damage plus one fire damage. Six damage, so that's a seven total. Seven total, and then I'm gonna use a point of ki for Fury of Blows. What number is that? This guy's number two, yeah. We could die on him. He's the one that's also a baint. So that's gonna be two more unarmed attacks. Rabbit, we love you.

So you smack this goat man. It brushes across his head. His flames kind of lick at his eyes. It's like...

- Are you able to just use it? - Then you crack him in the ribs for how much? - So it's 15 and 18 or minutes. - Both hands. - So a four has a-- - With your free hand. - Just a quick-- - Has an effect if you get some of it. - So that is five and five, so 10 damage. - 10 damage as you just smack into his ribs, number two.

And then with my drunken technique, I will disengage and move back. Okay. You kind of do a quick fake, and you fake out as he's trying to almost even swipe at you, but it's kind of, it's too quick for him to follow it, so you dart back. I guess we shouldn't have come here. Uh, with that, with that, they are going to stay, uh...

Oh, the cards. I was like, oh, when am I coming up? The ones there, they're just seeing the two people in front of them and they're going to keep going. And so the one in front of Caprice is laughing. Is that all? Yeah, he has to be 14 on a wisdom. So hold on. We're going to quickly fail and get a hitting Toa. We're going to attack Persia. That is going to be an 18 that is barely going to hit as it's going to...

Slice in with its sword. Hey Quirk. It's going to be... Northwest Florida. I maintain concentration. 12 points of slashing damage as it slashes across in through your armor. Oh, I don't feel so good. Thanks, I hate it.

And the goat man on the ground is still... And it's like... He's on the ground. As long as you're maintaining concentration. Iris, you're up. I am going to... Let me make sure I can do it. Cool. Number one, I'm going to reach out my hand. I call on you, Lord.

Lord of the Undead, Undeath, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, guide their hands. And I'm going to cast Channel Divinity, Path to the Grave, and I'm gonna curse that creature until the end of my next turn. So anyone that makes an attack on him has advantage. Which one? The next time your allies hits the cursed creature with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all the attack's damage. And then the curse ends. Oh shit. That's what it does. Which one did you do it to? Number one. What does that mean? We double damage.

Shut up. That's the laughter one. On the next hit. Yeah. It takes double damage. Yeah. It's only one hit. Yeah. Only one hit. Okay. But it stays on him if nobody hits him until the end of the next turn. Got it.

That's what I'm going to do. So you call out to Anubis, and you can kind of see this sense of darkness wave over the beast, and you kind of hear almost a bell toll in the distance, and you get a sense, all of you feel kind of colluded into the weak spots on this character, on this beast, almost guided by a divine hand. Bruce, can you define that?

I cough into my hand, I see that there's a little blood there. Uh, I, uh, jeez, um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna back up just a little bit, I'm just gonna back up to about where Iris is at. Oh, cause he's incapacitated? Yeah, he's not gonna get, he's laughing. Is that good? Yeah, that's fine, that's fine, I'm gonna reach down into my boot here. Yeah. I'm gonna pull out a hand crossbow, and I'm gonna take a shot at that laughter motherfucker right there. Um, so for my action I'll make a, uh,

So if you hit, this is a vulnerability guy. Yeah, I'm gonna make a ranged attack. Does that mean I get advantage on that attack? For a ranged attack on the guy who's on the ground? Yeah. Yeah, but it does break the laughter if you hit him, right? Or no? You can make a saving throw again. No, nothing like that. Oh, really? Yeah, it's just laughter until the end of his next turn. Oh, shit. Okay, yeah. Oh, no, this is disadvantage. Because it's ranged.

But cancel that with... No, you don't get advantage. You just do... He's vulnerable. Yeah, if you get hit. Oh. If you get hit, it's not advantage. Because he's on the ground now. I should have made a melee attack is what you're saying. Yeah.

Well, I've already made my choice. I guess I'll do a disadvantage attack on him. I 100% fail. And for my bonus action, I healing ward myself at first level. That's fine. How will you do that? I would be like, come on, Caprice, get it together. Get it together. I stroke my horns and I do a little... What do you mean one of these where you lick your fingers and you put the eyebrows like that? But instead of his eyebrows, it's his horns. All right, first I heal myself for five. Uh,

Seeing most of my comrades back away, I'm going to let loose my... not let loose my flail, and I'm just going to pound all of the healing that I have left into myself for 15 points, because I am not looking that great. That gets me back to... Lay on hands? Lay on hands. Okay. So, you touch yourself, and you feel...

You place a hand on your chest and say a prayer to Moradin. You see her hand glow with a molten orange light and the gore wounds start to close up.

This one's on prone, but what's happening with the Vayne one? He's challenged, he's Vayne'd. I don't know what that means, but... If he loses on saving throws and attack rolls, he has to roll a d4 and subtract the number from his... It's like reverse bless. And attack rolls? So I'm gonna take the opportunity attack and move in front of... So back this direction? I'm going to swing at you with the sword. Is that good? Yep.

And he's baned. Baned? Minus three, but it's a 23 to hit. And 23 to hit, so he slashes at you. Oh, jeez. 16 points of slashing damage as it slices into your armor. That sucks. Nice.

I mean, that sucks, I'm sorry. - Okay, I have no more spells left. Okay, a few of Troll. - I don't think I have line of sight on one, correct? I have to attack three. One is behind, like on the ground, rolling around the ground. - Yeah, it would be a disadvantage for a farm. - All right, I'll attack three. I'm gonna hit, I'm gonna just sling another firebolt, try to keep peppering this guy to give Toa some cover.

Bingo, 19. By that I mean 23? I had 6, 22. 10, 10d10. Sorry, I'm getting excited. Fire bolts! 5 damage. 5 damage as once again, you just keep peppering him with blast after blast after blast as Toa is keeping his focus. And then I'm just going to move. 9 damage you said on number 1? 5. 5 damage on number 1.

Okay, it's his some of his fur is singed off. You're kind of getting that burnt hair smell now Mixing with the burning ashes of the town. Joe you're up. You're still carrying the torch right? Yeah

Yeah. Okay, so we're good. So I'm... It doesn't like... I'm facing the guy standing up. Fall apart when I hit people with it, right? No. That I attacked and missed last time. And I look down and see that there's this guy just laying on the ground laughing. Like, oh, I could have attacked him last time. So I turn around...

I was mistaken, by the way. If you attack a person with hideous laughter, you get advantage on the wisdom saving throw at the end of your turn. Oh, okay. So you do get some benefit. I would like to bring to everyone's attention. I rolled two ones. You rolled two 91s. You went in 400 change!

- I watched it happen. - You saw it, right? - I saw it happen. - Toa is not having a good night. Still a little dark and he just misses this guy who's laughing and the earth kind of sprays up. - We're literally gonna TPK on our very first second. - No way.

- I'm so glad you saw it. - I'm going to move forward and just curb stomp number one. - Okay. - Is that an actual monk move? - Yes, it's on my D&D Beyond. It's called monkey curb stomp. Donkey Kong curb stomp.

- It's the banana slammer. - So you could see him, Nolan. - Yeah, you're advantaged. - Oh snap, dog. - Yay, that's 20. - That's not it, that's not it. - The banana slammer. - I know, Lone Guard, I need better insistence. - Six damage. - Six damage? - Is that doubled?

No! Don't say that. That's why you rolled a two, one. No, double the damage. Double the damage. It's the full damage. It's all about the damage. Twelve damage to number-- Two, one. One. The guy who's Tasha's hitting is laughing.

The guy who also had a curse, but no longer has a curse. Okay, so as your fist, you're using your fist, right? No, I'm smashing my foot into his face. You're smashing your foot into his face. And I'm going, ew, ew, ew! The first time it hits, you hear a... And you'll see the skittering of scarabs as the curse triggers around your foot. It just devours flesh a little bit. And you're like, that's gross.

Oh. So you double the damage, right? Yeah. So it's 12 points. You get bonus attacks and another melee, right? Oh, shut up! You're advantaged. I've been missing that whole time. You can always attack twice. Always. Well, again. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 20? No. You betcha. Take my spoon.

- It's like a really aggressive roll. - So one point of damage? - Five damage. Oh, it's a 10 if it's still done. - No, it's just a one. - So you add your modifier on your offhand attacks too, right? - Yes. - Got it. Five points of damage? - Yup. - So you're just continuing to kick him and to stomp into him as he's laughing. - Dry heaving a little bit as I feel his skin moving. - Got it. - The damage dies. - With that,

I think the one who's just gonna stay on Toa because he can't hit for Shay. - Well, the one is the laughing. - One's the guy laughing, but the one that is not laughing. - Oh, you didn't mean one, you meant three. - Oh yeah, the individual one. The individual is going to run up to Lefty and try to get her off of his pal. - Ew, gross. - Yeah. - You can try. - By the way, this is a mature stream. - Mikey, the Bane one is moving up? - Yes.

Oh, but he's baned. He's baned. And it looks like it's going to attack, but there's something that kind of makes him stumble as the bane. You can kind of see the mummy wrappings kind of deflect his attack. It looks like he might have a new basis. And then he's going to go in for an attack on Toa and is managed to attack. Am I within five feet of you? Yeah, you're within five feet of Toa. Not of Toa, though.

But of Caprice. Yeah, Caprice and Lufthansa. So on Toa, you are going to take 14 points of slashing damage. Me? Yes. Me? 14 points? But... As it slashes across. We've only got slashing. But you're raiding. And so he's advantaged now because he's been attacked. And two eights.

And yeah, this is not even close. How long does it last? Like an hour or something. A minute. A minute? Okay, yeah. It feels like an hour. And there's this laughing goat. That weird goat laughter. It can't be sound too good. Like, it's got to be a monster. Ira, show up. I'm going to...

Yeah, I'm just gonna toll the dead the baned one because he'll have bane for his saving throw. So yeah, wisdom save on the baned one. That'll be a hot zero. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's gonna work. Make sure that's a cold zero. That's a cold zero. Can you tell me about bane? Yeah.

Why did you wear the mask? Our lord and savior Bane. No, I'm kidding. Let me tell you about him. It was for the gag, okay? It was all dance. It was just dance. Why would you shoot a man? A hot five. A hot five. On which number? On number Bane 1. Bane 1? I can't see because there's number 2 on it.

Who made this creative decision? This is gonna be mean for the whole movie! So as it is trying to, it is not remotely, as you kind of hear that gong as it's clutching at its ears and you kind of see a little bit of blood pour down and you hear a voice say, Anubis says, the fire rises! And you're like, what?

Who in the fuck could have said that? Felix, you're not the only one who can do this. I pull out my... And I do one of these... And I'm gonna thunder wave at second level all three of those guys in this direction. I hope you hit them, because I was actually gonna run off. Are you able to knock them, your allies, though? I...

If I can spot it, then I can spot it. That's a wizard thing. He can spot it because he was bullshit. Yeah, so my... I can sculpt my spells to not hit allies.

- That's a very specific feature that you enjoy on a mechanical level. - I do. Yeah, you're just gonna send it. - Okay, very quickly then. We determined that it's not just, I have to be the center of a thunder wave. - Correct. - But I can pick a-- - As long as you're on the edge. So if you wanted to go like, ka-choo, and then it's the cube in front of you, then that's how it works. - Oh, I can't ka-choo in anywhere the fuck I want. - No, no.

You cannot Kachoo them. You do want to move... You couldn't move in between Toa and Lufti and then just Kachoo them. It's all over. Yeah, that works. Actually, that works.

Not to give you tips. You hit brick. Done, done, done. And if you do, I run up and I like that. I do a really solid like heavy metal you know, distorting in a way that the DeSesto viol can only produce. And I will do 3d8 thunder damage to each and they're all pushed 10 away if they fail a constitution saving throw of 14. Who's the DC?

Bane, one fails. One in the middle passes. Damn, again. Hey, Wild and Hobbit. Welcome back to the game. Is it con saving time? Con. So the two, so only the Bane one fails. Yeah, the other two succeed. He gets ten back. All right. Four, ten, seventeen. So seventeen damage to Bane and half as much to the other two. Dude, you hit like a truck.

I did 9 damage with my 3 DJs. I rolled really really low. Yeah. That's badass man. So half 17 which would be... 8.

And then they- Oh, and also, I mean, if you want to get crazy. So, um, Caprice pulls out his viol and in troubadour fashion, winds up his arm and ka-chows it. And in a horrific twang, all of a sudden there's a-

and a massive burst of thunder. You see the thunder energy blast back. Two of them, the two that had been damaged the most, immediately you see blood pour out of their eyes and ears and they just fall to the ground dead. - Oh, guys, I'm sorry. - You said it was the ones that did not get pushed back? - So number three is the only one that's alive. - Oh, okay. - So Bane is dead. - Bye, Bane.

So he blasts one back, one smashes a tombstone, it's full back cracking, you hear a little crack of its skull. And the thunder is echoing through the town. And yeah. - Oh wow. - That was-- - Twelfth blood. - Herjua. - Good job. - Herjua's gonna run around this side and stand next to Toa and smack it with her flail, if that's all she can do.

Ugh. - Welcome back, Squall. - Non-natural 20. - What up, Squall? - Hey, Squall. - Pick over here. - It's gonna take three points of bludgeoning damage. - Three points of bludgeoning damage. - How do you do that? - Snap into his stomach. He kind of perks forward a little bit, but he's still going. - I'm going to step out wide. One, two, three. And firebolt, I guess. - Got it. - Shit, Roy must have lost. - 16? - 16 hits.

Come on baby, come on baby, come on baby, give me that ten. Ha ha! Seven. Good, good, good. I've got that. Fwoosh! As you dart among the tombstones and you get the perfect opening and you catch this beast man in the back as his fur is singeing, his skin is kind of melting off from all the places that you've hit him and he's looking pretty darn weak. Toe, you're up.

So he's the last one alive, right? Yep. Natural one. And he's just, he's fine, he's standing up. He's standing up, he's looking pretty wounded. I may have missed the last two times, but you're not going to invade me this time, beastie. And I go in, and...

A twill. Tombstone goes down. I'm actually pretty good at killing these tombstones, guys. Just in case you would stub your toe up. Stub your toe up? Stub your toe up? Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub your toe up. Stub

Just make another smack attack with the torch. Okay. 13? 13 barely misses. So can I bonus? Can I still bonus? You can bonus. You can always bonus action to melee. Okay. So then I'm going to... Use the attack action. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Okay. So I'm just going to double back and...

- You cannot, Izzy needs to be unarmed. - Oh, unarmed. - Yeah, so you can't-- - So you swing and then punch. - So your attack action can be-- - We're getting our quick turn the punch. - Turn the music up just a little bit, 'cause bebop is awesome. - Oh yeah. - I'm gonna do a hiney. - Okay. - Hiney attack. - Hiney? - A hiney attack. - You're doing a hiney? - Hiney attack. - Pat's a hiney attack. - Start jamming. - This is the jazz jam episode. - 16? - 16 that hits, roll damage. - Oh my god! - Eight damage! - How do you like to do this? - Yes!

- For real, for real? - Yeah, I wanna hit him with my hiney. - Okay. - Yeah, I'm going to come up with the knee and it's gonna hit him in the chin and when he starts to fall, I'm gonna . - Okay.

So as he's kind of wounded, once again, Toa misses this tune, so he almost seems distracted at his multiple misses. And you manage to dodge your torch to the face, but you then kind of use that to deflect, and you leap into the air, your knee high, almost at your eye level with how flexible you are. It smashes into its jaw.

and it kind of knocks him up a little bit. As he comes down, you kind of pop up again on your other leg, and you kind of do the whole peach side B from side to side. Yes! And just ha-choo!

And it just smashes with your ass and pulls back. Crutches its head. Turnips falls out. Turnips fall out. She pulls out a weird mushroom. And you just fucking Princess Peach'd him to death. Ladies and gentlemen. Yes. You suck. I used to play nothing but Peach when we played Melee. She's my favorite. Peach is my favorite. She's the only one I play. She's so good at Melee. She was so busted in Melee. She's very good.

You're just too adorable not to play her. I'm just gonna run back. Finish out the song and then we'll swap. Hop back. To a different song. I slumped back against a tombstone. Oh, I'm not feeling that great. I have a same-as-all disguise.

I immediately look at the bodies and I try to get a sense of what they were doing here or if there are any valuables on them. I loot the bodies. I want to look at the weapon and see if it looks like the kind of weapon that could have made that giant slash in the chest. Investigations from both of you, please. Oh, it's a donkey. Hmm.

It's just catchphrase. 16. 16. 14. So you root around on their bodies. You find mostly scraps. You do find the occasional bits of scraps and clothing. One of the things that you do notice is a little baby's rattle.

that you notice on one of them. And you do manage to loot seven silver pieces and four gold pieces.

Between the two of us or...? Between the three, you're looting the bodies. Yeah, I'm just looking at the weapons. And Iris is inspecting. You look at the weapons and it seems to be of the... What do you get by the way in your investigation? 16. 16. It seems to be the appropriate kind of style but the size seems a little bit small. Well, this is a little bit of a lie. So Phoenix.

I don't like that idea.

Your gray companion was smashing tombstones and poor Luffy had to do all of the work. Yeah, I got gold on my boots. Disgusting. And your bum. And my bum. I want to walk through the thing they were building in the middle. I'm already halfway out there. I've taken the baby rattle. That's fucked up. That's really messed up.

My investigation is like, I think I got a nine. Nine, okay. That's fine. A four. So you take a look and you see that there is... Oh, it is plus six. Sorry, an eleven. An eleven, okay. So I'll say that we'll change this. Sorry. That's fine. You see that this altar...

has been haphazardly slapped together out of bits of tombstone that they've kind of pulled these larger tombstones, slabs together, propped up for legs in this kind of makeshift altar. Some you can kind of see that there's propping up on some rocks that were already there. You see atop the tombstone, it's... there are two items.

at the center of this thing. One is a circular, fairly large metal crown. It seems to be a metal crown, a bit rusty. And directly in front of that is a medallion of some kind.

surprisingly intricate design given the rest of the appearance of these creatures. And it seems to be this interwoven design of knotting, just all sorts of knots and interweavings, just kind of all throughout this entire medallion. I turn to the rest of the group and I say, "Can we spare ten minutes?"

Yeah, I could sure use some rest. I'm not feeling that great. Would you like my heat? I looked at Toa. I have one, but I figure maybe for resting, take a short rest. I could use a wrist as well. I'd be happy to tell you guys a tale or sing a song if we were gonna sit around for five, ten minutes. I'll begin to cast Detect Magic as a ritual on the objects. Okay.

Sure, we'd love to hear a song. Yeah, by all means. So you channel Detect Magic as you see this. I will say with the investigation, there's one bit of information. I didn't even turn it off then. Yeah, no, it's fine. So you notice that you feel like you may have missed it, but it seems like there's rubble beneath this altar.

and you can kind of look down and there seems to be a the remnants that seems to have been deliberately smashed of a statue that seems to be of holy significance some kind of of holy statue um

Before I begin to cast then, I'll mention the destroyed stonework to Hersha. To see if potentially after I'm done casting the ritual, if she can maybe take a look at it and see what it might have been before it was destroyed. Sorry.

stone work, whatever you do. Yeah, I'll lift myself up slowly and limp over and take a look at the stone work that he's referring to. What are you trying to discern? Trying to discern what kind of stone it is, where it might have come from, and then potentially separately if it's of a deity or holy

religion that I recognize. So why don't we just say make a religion check and add your proficiency. I'm already proficient. 13. 13? I'll say that you kind of piece it together and with that religion check you get the sense that with the kind of emblems and what it is you kind of make out a male shape in this and then you kind of notice a symbol of a sun and you recognize this to be a destroyed statue of Lathander the Mourning Lord.

Do I know who that is? You know that he is a god of mourning, a sun god that is worshipped fairly commonly across the Mantras. You know that Seluna and Lathander are pretty commonly the moon, the moon, the primary moon god and moon goddess and sun god. Although there are multiple, you know, there are tons of gods, but they're probably the two most primarily worshipped ones.

So, yeah, this is Lusander. He's a pretty well-known sun god. I don't... He's not my god by any means, but this is definitely signs of desecration and I don't get a very good feeling about it at all. It sounds like they're trying to...

whip up some mumbo jumbo here. So they built the altar right on top of the destroyed statue it looks like.

With parts of it too? Or is that just for the parts of the tombstone? I would say with that you can kind of notice the stonework that they seem to not have used any of it to build their profane altar. That it was explicitly kind of just built over the crumbles of this statue of Lathander. Did I know any of Lathander's sworn enemies in that check? Probably not. Okay.

You didn't study him particularly, you just know of the religion. Gotcha. Are we taking a short rest? I am just channeling for ten minutes. So if you guys are taking a short rest, we'll just say... A short rest would be like... Ten minutes and an hour is a lot different. I was just asking if we could spare ten minutes. So ten minutes, the ritual kind of casts around this whole altar, and it detects like deliberate spells on it, right? Over here, please.

It's just like the wand that we use in crime. You sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you. If you sense magic in this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around an invisible creature or object that bears magic, and you learn its school of magic, if any. This spell can penetrate most barriers and is blocked by one foot of stone, one inch of common metal, or a thin sheet of lead, or three feet of wood or dirt. So it just tells me if there's magic and what kind of school of magic it is. Okay.

You finish casting this spell, and it kind of bathes over the entire altar, and it doesn't seem that there's any kind of magical aura emanating from it. As soon as we have the beta rest, I can use it. I'm not comfortable picking these items up, but there doesn't appear to be anything magical about them. I just, I don't want any part of this beyond finding maybe more clues. I'm just, I'm hesitant to touch anything on a freshly built stone altar.

I think now that I've 10 minutes, I could feel a little more rested. Have you had a chance to do that kind of Healy spell that you did last time? Oh no, I'm far too exhausted.

Never mind, I guess this is the best we're gonna get. Let's continue. I thought we were taking a... I'm sorry. We can continue on. I just thought we were taking a short rest for the purposes of mechanically rolling hit dice. Well, I don't... I mean, if this was a game, I would probably agree with you, but given that I don't know what hit dice are...

Or what a short rest is. I think that there's a bit of an emergency that we need to continue and that the survivors... I agree with Toa. We need to keep searching. Alright, well let's continue on our way and if we happen to take a short rest, I don't know why you don't know what a short rest is, but let's just make our way. I know what it's like to short for a rest period... to rest for a short period of time. How do we feel about Toa? Can you say for me once real quick, can you say "I never knew" real quick for me? I never knew?

Alright, I appreciate that. How do you feel about potentially Toa destroying the crown? Do you want to try to crush that crown with your maul? Do you think... I just don't want to leave this space here. So it's not magical at all? Not to my knowledge, no. Do we want to take it with us? I just don't want to touch the items. I'm overly cautious. I suppose I could touch it.

I grab the crown. Oh. Okay. You grab it. And you're holding a metal crown. It's a little rusty. This could be good information for what's going on. I appreciate you risking your arm like that. This is, I think it's fine. There's no magic. And I don't know what a crown looks like, so if it's not a magical crown, it's probably just a crown.

Who took the amulet? I'm still there. I just grabbed both. Oh, unless you're grabbing them both. Neither of them is magical. Yeah, I just grabbed both. Neither appear to be magical. I walk up to Toa. Time to tear that crown upside down.

Do you think it'll become magical if I turn it upside down? No, I'm fucking with you. Let's just turn it out of the here. Is there any writing in there that you can find? Well, someone already looked at it, right? No, I haven't picked it up. All I did was check to see if it was magic. And then I didn't really want to touch the things. Oh, okay. I'll look at them. Is there something on the bottom?

I turned it upside down. I turned it upside down and tried to like... It seems to be a rusty metal crown. And the amulet you said had some sort of like... It's an intricate weaving design. No writing. No writing. Do either items look familiar to me or anything I would assume would work? Make a...

Just a straight inch. Anything that I would recognize in my-- I would say just you don't even need to make a roll for it, but like for something for metal to take that shape it would need to be at least like hammered out to some kind of, you know, doesn't look like it's particularly well smith, but it would need to be. No special kind of metal that I could see from it, just like normal metal. So rusty?

Iron. Okay, well if we're going to keep going then I'm just gonna drink up and this is all I got left so if we take a short rest after that, that would be great. To be fair, we haven't slept at all so I'm hoping we can get to a point where we can find a safe place and rest for the evening but until then we need to at least secure the area, I think. There's a lot of town left. There's a lot of town left. I agree.

I don't know how to respond to that. It's like when you're watching football and people are like, oh, there's a lot of game left, you know? It's really hard for me to be a serious one. What do I do about this? I say true. Well, I think the first thing I did was call you Santa Claus. Yeah, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Avantris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement.

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you.

I agree. I agree. If there's anyone here, they're...

They're in a bad way. I'm bored of hearing you guys say this. At this point, we're in a very dangerous situation. There's a body lying over here. We've fought. Let's use some caution and, in the middle of the night, approach this town as if there might be a threat around every corner. We could honestly just walk right in there and just...

See what happens. Well that's... I would normally be very cautious but given that this was an attack that just happened and there could be people still alive in this town I feel like I was just spending 30 minutes just creeping through when they could still be slaughtering people. Do I hear anything?

Is there like a... Where you're at? Probably not. Yeah, or maybe they're making more of these altars, but on other sides of the city. So the faster we get there and stop them, probably the better for us. Did anyone check if there were any dug-up graves or anything? Did we really scour them? I was too tired. I found that it was really hard to tell. A toa spent the entire fight just bashing headstones in.

Oh yeah, it was unintentional that it was Nick's. Yeah. That's not what you normally, you don't just really hate grapes? Someone was buried there hundreds of years ago and now we don't know their name. You're carrying a crown. It was probably like some dead guy who's probably from that graveyard, right? I don't know. Some creepy goat guy was using it in some kind of ritual on an altar. At that point, I'm not going to dig up a grave and take a crown, but if it's used in a creepy ritual, I might as well take it.

That logic kind of kicks in, right? I'm morally okay to do that. Are we cool just walking into this town? Yes. I'm completely fine sleeping in this town.

I mean at this point I'm exhausted. We need to move forward and I agree we need to secure the area and make sure that it's safe and we need to rest. And the government, we could at least get some kind of information. I agree. We need to move forward. We need to press on. Let's go left. Things are really different here than they are in the city. I'll follow you guys.

Let's head north. So we proceed as a unit. I need a marching order. I'm not first this time. I'm behind Tela. I'll be first. Whoever Tela is, I'm right behind him. I'm second to last. I'm last. Okay. Good to know. So you walk forward.

Feeling stiff. And you're heading in. You pass the occasional... Are you moving stealthily or are you going quickly? We're moving... We're not like... Cautiously. We're not stealth, but we're moving briskly. Got it. Okay. So you are walking quickly. You see house after house smoldering. Back in, their foundation is totally crumbling.

and you are walking forward. Toa, you make a perception check for me.

Okay, big T. One moment. You're talking a bit, I'm just walking forward in this village. 16. Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

And then it's at that moment you hear the loud bashing.

as if something is trying to get into... And a lot of the buildings were made of stone, you notice. You realize that this is kind of a smashing... A building made of wood, rather. And you get the sense that this is kind of something trying to bash against stone. And as you walk forward, you see kind of figures moving

large figures casting large looming shadows into the courtyard ahead. But with that perception, you probably won't be able to. So you see the shape, and you hear the...

And we'll say that's about all you hear, the loud kind of... We saw shadows, you said? You see shadows. One large figure. You see numerous figures kind of there with the firelight of the burning town kind of casting a long shadow. You see two large horns also being... And it kind of steps back.

steps so i just see a shadow you see a shadow but you hear you see a shadow uh not like exactly what it is but you do see two large horns and it kind of because so there's a big big guy with two big horns i think bigger is it bigger than the than the two guys you just killed i mean it's a shadow so it's hard to tell but it looks like it looks roughly this is not good

I remember I mentioned that I think there's a larger one about. I think we found him. And so I think this might be him. So why don't now we can go stealthily now that we know where the danger is. Should I get rid of this torch? No, I'll take care of it when we enter battle. No, actually, that's a good idea. You can get rid of the torch. I'll light my lantern.

And I go ahead and I light it. Okay. And I'm gonna put the hood down, and it's just this tiny little... So when the hood's down, it's just five feet just literally right around the super dim light. Okay. But then I can lift it and it lights up 60 feet. Got it. Got it. Are torches reusable? No. No? Okay. I thought they were. I thought it was just something you relight. In reality, they are. In the simulation of D&D. Well, they can be kind of done to start. Yeah.

So I'm assuming it's like a match. Yeah, it's probably like a match. You step on it. Sweetheart, I can afford to get you another torch. It's not really a problem. You're like one cup of something. I'm going to toss it into a beer right burning. I make fire. So I'm going to light the lantern and I'll close it. And I'm going to go stealthily. No, no I'm not.

Alright, well we're all gonna stealth. Stealing. Oh boy. I have not rolled above a 10, I don't think, tonight. Once. This is not good. I got a 6. I got a 6 too, but there's 8 total. 15. Is it too late to change my class to rogue? Yes. 11. A 7.

- It's even. - Eight. - 15. - Six. - 15. - Okay. - Don't look at me like that. - 12. - Stop looking at me like that. - 15. - I'm gonna keep saying it, hoping that it helps. - You're all attempting to stealth, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna follow stealth. - You hear something fumbling.

I think he may be trying to get to someone, so let's at least hurry. So I'm gonna try to get around, so we can get a better vantage point to see what the hell's going on. And I'm staying behind Del. Okay, you make another perception check as you all stealth around. There we go, that's an 18 plus, um, 4 is 22. Okay, 22. As you make your way around, you-- I will adjust. Yeah!

This is the Saw film, by the way. You take the party around one of the buildings. You kind of get off the road. You see one of these large buildings. You get around. It's kind of been kind of collapsed into its frame.

and you peek around and you get a better vantage point. You see, kind of towards the back of this courtyard area, is large, covered in a dark fur similar to the creatures that you fought, but much, much larger than the goat creatures. This is kind of covered in the shaggy hair, same kind of long tail.

thick, huge hooves and elongated snouts, long ears. This does not seem to be goat-like. This seems to be a bony.

and with, but it's not the kind of docile herbivore teeth. This is a maw full of razor sharp teeth with these bloodthirsty red eyes and huge black horns. And it, you kind of, then as you kind of guide the party around Toa, you hear kind of this snarling. And these beasts

that are held in a chain by this creature. These are beasts that seem hound-like, canine in some variety, but they are... seem to have ridges in strange, almost some areas looking like reptilian areas, some look like some strange fins, and each of them has a long scorpion-like tail. And they are barking.

at, loud, at one of the larger buildings in the back that is reinforced in stone with a large heavy metal door and it is smashing into it and it is barking at it. - I wonder if there's still people in there. - Given that it's the-- - Is this like the only metal door that we've seen in the whole town? - Yeah. Given that it's a metal door, there's probably something very important in there.

I've got to be honest, though. I'm running out of gas here. Well, it's just the one with his pack of dogs. Two. There are two balls? There are two dogs. One ball, two dogs. Oh, there's only two dogs. Never mind. There's even a pack of dogs. Although, could you classify two dogs as a pack of dogs? Now's not the time to talk about the philosophy behind a pack. I think we can still take...

I think so as well. Could you do some kind of big attack? Before they even know we're here to just blow them up. And then we just walk in.

Yeah, I might be able to pulse like that. I like that. So why don't you go ahead and do that now? Alright. Is everyone else okay with it? No, not really. That's a good idea, actually. Because I don't think we will kill all of them in one shot. I don't need to kill them all. I'm just going to soften them up a little bit. What are you going to do? We both have the same ability to do the push thing. What if we went up and did that together?

You're not gonna get right up behind them. You gotta be awfully close to get up there. I was gonna hit him with some uh a little bit of frost magic, slow him down a bit. Oh you can do that? Whip up something? Uh I look to the group and I give them a... I mean I honestly think that we can go in together. If we if we if we you and I both rush in at the same time. Let's do our thing. What happens if the dogs get you?

You can do what you want, honestly. Wouldn't it be good to- I just want you to be aware, I literally have- I can do like one more thing. Yeah, I'm glad. But like, I have like maybe one more like care in my- I mean, I'm pretty tapped out as is also, I mean, after that I've just got the pokies. Like if we strike first, we strike quickly. Considering the possibility that this guy is maybe a good horned beast, like maybe I go out and- Are you good to be kidding me? Look, maybe he's getting in there because he's trying to kill some of those things that we were killing. He doesn't look the same.

Right, he's got like a school feeling to him. Yeah, I would say if you're trying to sneak up on them and do your little magic thing with the pushback, maybe you wait until he's inside and then you come in from the rear and you mess him up. I mean, I love coming in from the rear, but I feel like... I know. Wait.

How's the door look? It is looking very rough. It is very rough. So Toad says go, I step out to the side, I channel an ice knife and I send it directly to big guy. Okay. You fling an ice knife as it-- It's a dex 14. So this is the thing. If you're slinging a dodge, you want to go the other way.

He fails. Okay, so hit or miss, on a hit you're taking 1d10 piercing damage. Oh, that's a 10. That's a 9, so that's 9 points of damage to him. Hit or miss, the shark explodes. The target needs creature within 5 feet of it must succeed on a dexterity saving throw or take an additional 2d6 cold damage. Okay.

Okay. Does he do it too? So really if I hit this guy, it's really gonna just probably hit this one here. I don't think it's gonna hit the one behind it. I would say hit both of them. Yeah, because it's like... Okay, so they have to make a dex saving throw or take an additional two. They would each take an additional 2d6. The one guy... They all fail? Yeah. Nice. Nice.

- I'm drinking tea. - And we'll add seven points additional damage to all three. - That's awesome. - What does that cost? - Ice knife. - Only apple juice. - Damn it. - I love seer.

You take the go-ahead from Toa and a blade of ice appears in your hand and you fling it. It flies through the air, pierces him in the back and he lets out this roar. The second he shoots that, I just want to start booking it in. Okay, you bolt in and you let out this roar and the dogs are like,

They yelp slightly as they are filled with ice shards. And you can tell that this door, as he turns to see if you can get a look, that it is on its last legs. One more bash would have knocked it in. And he starts turning. Yes, you. And what a rage. Okay. And you are running up and you channel your tribal trance. Oh, finally. 16. That is an initiative. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Ooh. Bye.

- My initiative sucks every time. - 20. - It's rough going from-- - Wait, how much? - Eight to your initiative is three. - 20? - 23. - Oh, all right, that's pretty good. - 20 to 25? - 23. - Holy shit, 23, okay. - Till I got 20. - Priest, toes at 20, 15 to 20? - 16. - 19. - 19, 16. - So Iris, then Kurs. - Persian, Lufty, what do you got? - 10. - Seven.

I have advantage and I got 10. I got a rock. I got a 10. I got a rock. Uh, with the dogs, what are they getting? Oh, they're gonna get a nice thing. Sorry, Lufty. Blah, blah. You go for it. I guess every dog has its day. That's right, Rhonda. Capriccio, what are you gonna do? You're wasting away here, Capriccio. It's unbelievable. Take some more spaghetti.

You should see the session zero where I was role playing as Caprice's family. No. Can you really? Yeah, it was amazing. That is so great. Don't give me more time. That's not how this works. So would I be further up than everybody else? I would say so, yeah. Okay, so I would place yourself where you think you would reasonably be. I'm going to say like there. Is that fair? That's fair. Yeah. Caprice. Caprice.

I'll lean in and I'll whisper to the large horned creature and I'll say... Thank you.

Why are you trying to bash in doors? Is it a closet? Is that what's happening here? Are you trying to get in? Is that what's happening? And then he'll freak out about that psychologically. Questioning his own identity. This is how he'll get into that.

Wisdom saving throw. Of a... 14 MC. Fails. He fails! So you'll take 3d6 psychic damage. Jeez! Or 7, 8 points of psychic damage and he will use your reaction to move as far away from me as possible to his maximum speed.

Oh. Fucking done. Okay. Yes! We got our one obsession! So, could we move him? He looks at you and he says, and he looks at you with these wide eyes open with terror, and he just bolts in the other direction 40 feet. 5, 10, 15, 20. Small wants to know what you casted. What's the name of that spell? Dissident Whispers.

Disney whispers. Yeah. Go. I have a bonus action, I have movement, and I will... Question? Would the dogs move with us? I'll stay. They're on chains. That's not my turn. I say he would have dropped it. So he drops the chains as he's running away in fear. Okay, Toad, you're up. Oh boy, I'm trying to see what I can do. I think I rarely see one attack, don't I? Um...

I think I am just going to rush up. One, two, three. The first dog. And I think what I'm going to do is attack. Give him the old attack. Okay. So close. A 20 or whatever. So that is 2d6.

- Seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13 damage. - 13 damage. As you run up close to this wing, you end this horrific hound-like creature and you smash in with your totem. And how much damage, 12? - 13. - 13, wow. - Nice. - What number is that?

Two. Do I get to know what he rolled? Got it. Iris, you're up. I'm going to the one he just attacked, number two. I'm going to move a little bit closer.

- It's the last that hurt my hand, so it's not that easy. - So I'll go there, and I'm gonna cast Toll the Dead on that one. So it's a wisdom save. - Wis save for the doggo. - For number two. - So I mean natural 20 plus-- - Yeah, so he passes. - So yeah, he passes. 21. - Cool, now that's me. - Okay, so you kind of hear the gong, but the dog seemed ineffective. With that, it's Felix's turn. - I'm gonna move up. One, two, three, four, five, six.

and just see if I can shoot number two with Firebolt. - Yeah, so you're on the line of sight of that. - That's gonna be a big ol' Misaruni, 10. - Okay, yeah, it flies over it. Okay. - Whoops. - It's their turn. They turn to Toa and just sprint toward you. Can you move the other one up to Toa, please? And with that, they are going to bite and then scorpion sting, so we're gonna do two bites. - Ooh.

One of the bites is going to hit. It's going to hit. That is going to deal a nice 7 points of piercing damage as one of the bites sinks in. And then one of the stingers is going to miss. The other is going to get a natural 20. Ugh. And only dealing 7 points of piercing damage. But can you make a con saving throw for me? Mm-mm.

We shoulda. We shoulda. We shoulda. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. 16. As this stinger darts up above its form and sinks into you, you can feel this venom start to seep in, but your body, you kind of... That was piercing, right? Yeah, piercing. And you feel your body kind of reject this poison. And with that, it's their turn. They both, yeah. Lufthia, you're up. Okay. I'm going to move

to here and ready an attack in preparation for if one of the hounds or something rushes it's like a defense like at you? at either of us you run up to Iris and prepare yourself and with that

The bull creature is going to turn and he's no longer afraid. That was just one time thing. One time thing. He's going to turn. Now he's got a whole runway. He is upset and he sees Toa engaged and he is going to

turn his vision towards the monk and cleric and just do a full sprint at them. - Action and movement? - Action and movement, yeah. - So that gets-- - So that's 80 feet total. - Yeah, that'll be easy. - So he's gonna run up to them. - There you go, so now what happens? - I would do one up, closer to more loop. - Do I get to attack first? - One that way? - Yeah, one that way. - If you wanna dive head first into a raging ball.

come on baby ride the reason no he's charging at you but he came into range she was asking if she did yeah do it do i have to when i ready attack could i ready another action instead or do i have to no you have to attack him attack it yeah so you have you can use your reaction to attack you said you said you're gonna be attacking that punch him in the face why are you using

You wanted to do this. Not really. 14. 14 barely hits. Oh, wow. Nice. Get out of here, you fool. You're getting bullied. She's gonna get like...

Max damage. Almost. Seven points as he's charging at you. I should have mentioned in his other hand he has a massive blade that is kind of similar to this rusty iron weapon. This is very much more axe-like, but not very fine with his rough-hewn axe. And he is just looming over you after sprinting using all of his movement. You then just kind of bump.

him on the nose, mortified as this huge creature is leaning over you. You feel his hot breath. It's just putrid in your face. And I think that's all I can do. Yeah. Okay. Is he just breathing on me? Yeah. Yeah. That was nearly as bad as I thought. I heard you. Get his friend. Capriccio's capricciating him real far. So this is one and a half. Mm-hmm. Three. Mm-hmm.

And I have five squares. I'm gonna double move and get up this creature. And I don't have bonus action for anything so I'm just gonna stand there and look menacing at it. Okay, you stand there and you look menacing as fuck. Dakota, she's gonna fuck you up!

Chicken Fricassee! Oh, you are ugly son of a bitch! Things are getting weird. Oh no! You up? Uh, yeah, it's Caprice. Oh, it's Caprice. Yeah, I'm a Caprice. It's Caprucci. Um... Capriccio.

I'll point at it and I'll be like, "Yeah, you're really bashing down that door there. Is your father's approval down in there?" Vicious mockery. Yes! Another wisdom saving throw for it.

This is going to be a pass. This is going to be a 16. Ah, that's... Alright, for my free action object interaction, I'll pull my hand crossbow out and give it a cock. That's the best for me. So,

I'm giving my hand crossbow a cock. Do you have a problem with that? No, I just want to make sure we're all on the same page. So your whispers fail and you load your hand crossbow and get ready to take a shot. Okay, Toad, you're up. I want to just hit the one that's the weakest. I think I hit one of them, right? Yeah. Okay, so I'm just going to hit that one again. Does he look more damaged than the other? Number two is more damaged, yes. Does that look cocked?

It's 15. Plus, whatever, yeah. Ooh, not bad. 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 gauges.

- 15 damages. Now number two. So you take your maul and as the one that stung you removes its scorpion-like tail, you return in full and smash its head upon the stone as its brains spread over the stone and it collapses to the ground. - Oh snap, still alive. - I hit me sword? - Number two. - Okay, Iris, you're up.

Um, I'm going to... She gets late. I'm going to come into a ball and lick my butthole. That's the best part about being a cat. Anyone just joining? Oh, I'm worshipping Ouija, cause it's fine. Excuse me darling, but I wish you could do this, please.

I'm just gonna toll the dead, uh, the bull there. Okay, uh... He fails. Okay, 1d. 2. 2 is kind of like a...

He's kind of giving his ear a little fang. I think I have tinnitus. And he's showing a little bit of pain, but not as much. You kind of hear the galling off in the back. With that, it is Felix's turn. Yes! I'm just going to turn and firebolt this guy.

Uh, yeah. I'm going to use Frostbite on him instead. So it's a con 14 save. You fail. It's an 11. Yes. So he takes...

1d6 cold damage and two points of damage. Okay. And he has disadvantage on his next weapon attack roll that he makes before the end of his next turn. Okay, so you grab into your coat and your hand glows as blue and then you see ice start to form all along his arms and fingers and his fingers start to numb as ice crystals form and it's pain but...

You guys are chipping him away. You're chipping him away. And now it is Doggo's turn. He's just going to keep Bite Attack on Toa. That is going to be... That may have a little bit of CC for you. 18. That is going to hit. You're rolling pretty well, DM. I'm rolling pretty well on Toa. I'm fine with it. Who? It is four. Four points of piercing damage that bites you. And then it's going to... Oh. He's going to attack you with his Stinger. And he's going to miss horribly.

with our baby. It's a 4 points piercing hand set. Lufty, you're up. Iris, this thing is pretty big. Should we run? I think if you do that, it's just going to smack at you. So I'm just hitting you. What can smell with your stick? And you just seem to like your sugar pie. So I'll whip out my spoon and do like a flourish. You're going to flourish? You're going to spoon him across the face. Say something cool like you're going to die spoon.

Twelve? Twelve misses. It goes wide. As it's breathing on you, you're just so...

Okay, so I'll just kind of like in my follow through like and like bop him, like back into him by accident. Okay, you're gonna get him in the shoulder. Whoa! I think my favorite quote is Squall saying, she has a spoon, laugh my ass off. I missed that too. I'm just a failure.

You're just so afraid your spoon misses, your elbow misses, or your shoulder misses. If you're gonna be killed by any of us, the least favorite way to be killed would be by a spoon. Yeah, definitely. And with that failure, it's gonna turn to you and swing in with this massive great axe, and we'll see if it hits. It's a fine axe. I mean, I don't know how great it is.

- It is going to hit you. - I'm gonna impose protection with my shield. - What does it do? - Disadvantage. - Did you roll a disadvantage?

I did not roll with disadvantage. So we might have double disadvantage here. Well then I'm gonna redact that. Yeah, save yours, cause he's frost bitten at the moment. So, it looks like it's gonna hit and then you kind of realize his fingers are numb and it rolls a natural one. At me? Yeah. Yeah, at you. And it's gonna hit you and then his arms kind of lock up and he stumbles and you're able to dodge beneath the massive greataxe that swings at him.

I wanna hit with somebody! Okay, that's his turn. Herja, you're up. - It's okay, just stay next to me, it'll be okay. And I'm going to say... - I'm leaving all the frogs! - So hard right now.

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna look over my shoulder at Caprice and I'll be like, hey, I got a good one, Caprice. What are you calling undead chicken? A poultry ghost. And I'm gonna cast channel divinity, turn the unholy. And if this is a fiend or an undead, it has to make a whiz saving throw.

as this blazing orange molten light bathes this bull creature. It just kind of like blocks it and just kind of looks at you. Oh, it's not a fiend or undead? Doesn't seem to have anything. Oh, well, okay. That was my action. That was a good try. I thought it was. I don't know what it is. That was a good joke. Fuck you, fucking bull.

That was my action. Hashtag word theory. Hashtag nice cornfield bud. I'll try vicious mockery again. Do I think it's a minotaur? I mean, you could guess. You've heard of minotaurs, I'd say. You're not a minotaur, you're a minotaurable. Oh!

And I'll go with another wisdom saving throw, DC 14. Fails. It takes one point of psychic damage. However, it enjoys disadvantage on its next attack.

- I'm gonna keep it CC'd. - What? - He's disadvantaged again. - You're in soul, like, you don't get the sense necessarily that it can understand you, but it's just like, and it seems a little bit off. - I'm not too bothered with this guy. I don't know what to call you. - Toa.

Toa, you're terrible. He's just standing at the corner, like, looking at the stars. I'm still laughing at that joke. I hope to gust one up level three after that one. Uh, I miss... Maybe you shouldn't use your crummy dice with your Toa. Can you move between them?

You miss the dog and you use Thinirap. Iris, you're up. I am going to cast my thing again on him, Toll the Dead. Okay, on the Minotaur? Yeah. That is going to con? Wisdom. That's going to be a 12. Yeah, he misses. He's taking damage, right? Yeah, barely any. You've been pinging him for like one to three. Yes! Seven damage!

Seven damage, we're coming. Okay.

- You hear the gong and his ears, everyone's after his ears. - Oh, sorry, and then I'm going to reach out to Lufty and I'm going to kind of look around and make sure nobody's watching and I'm going to grab her hand and cast Sanctuary on her. - That's where my hand is. - Okay. - I'm gonna grab you right now. - You see me like digging, pawing at my...

- So if he wants to attack you, he has to make a wisdom save, save where he can't. - All right. - If it went to a tick, you lose it. - This golden shimmering haze up here is above you. - But when she attacks, she loses it, right? - Yeah. - If I were to firebolt this guy about 20 times, he would die. - Oops, that was a bad one. - I'm gonna firebolt this guy.

- Good thing you're a student. - He's already disadvantaged, yeah. That would be a 23. - 23, that hits. - One D10. Come on, baby, give me the old 10. Five. - Five points, okay.

You know, still just peppering this guy. Get some pepper. The burnt hair is starting to get excited. So I stand up and then everybody can't see my face and I'm rolling dice up here and everybody doesn't know what's happening. And by the time against Toa, that's going to miss. Attack against Toa, that's also going to miss. Okay. Failure of a dog. Lufty, you're up. Just waste that sanctuary baby goat for you. No, it's okay. I'm going to ready an attack. It's like a defense if he tries to attack me again. Okay.

You guys are working good teamwork though. He's gonna make another attack against... That is the first bit of affection she's ever gotten from Ios. So how does Sanctuary work? If he wants to attack her, he has to make a wisdom save. He has to make a wisdom save and throw. And fucking give six. So he can attack something else though. So he must choose a new target or lose the attack.

And then he's also gonna be disadvantaged from good old... Okay.

So he's going to turn to Herja, who's directly next. And he's going to just start getting more and more reckless and swing and basically undo his disadvantage against Herja by recklessly attacking. His eyes go wild and starts breathing heavily. Just regular attack. Just regular attack, yeah. Okay there, bud. That's a nice note.

- And that will attack as the axe swings and cleaves into a weak spot in your armor. - There I go. - The whole attack now against him until the end of the next round are at advantage. - Against the big guy. - Yes. - But this is going to deal a hot

I can absolutely fireball all of those people in about 20 seconds. 16 points of slashing damage as the axe just cleaves into you. That's a nice zero. And down I go. And you see the first time as the force, the sheer force axe, it hacks into her. Blood is flying as the force of it sends her like a good like three feet back from the force. She flies off of the axe. Well. As the dwarf kind of skips. And she

got first blood in their sheaths. First blood. Now's the time, Toa. You need to read your audience. All for angry. I am very angry in my nice way. It's Caprice's turn. Oh, wait, what? No, it's Hirja's turn. It's Hirja's turn. So death saving throw. Oh, shit.

Nat 1. Oh no! You failed! When I said I wasn't feeling good, I really meant I wasn't feeling good. Oh my god. You didn't mean laughing. Caprice runs forward, seeing what's happened, and powerslides on two knees. And, uh...

He whips it out and sticks it into her mouth, giving you a healing potion. Oh my god!

For this action. This is a mature stream. Lands of Avengers is cancelled! In my mind, I'm like, I also like it from the rear. I mean, I know you like it from the rear, but under dire circumstances, you take... You take 1d4 plus... I can't remember what a healing potion does. 1d4 plus 2. No, 1d4 plus...

1. 1d4+1. It's 2d4+2. No, it's not. Regular Healing Potion. Regular Healing Potion is 2d4+2. Okay. *sigh* *laughter*

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the new Thurk Wang, the new campaign. Yeah. Section one. Capri, you slide over and you just force feed it. Six. Capri, Herja is sputtering. Consciousness returns to you. Toa, you're up. That was my action. Your action, yes. Does that reset your essays? And, uh...

- I still say I have a bonus action, isn't that right? - Yeah. - I will use my bonus action to cast Healing Word. - Okay. - And I don't know where my pen went. - Healing Words, I'll put my hand on your forehead. Demons out!

And that second level will go... Hold on. Jesus Christ. Fucking Derek. And we'll go... One. Come on. Three? No, four. Five plus four is going to be an additional nine points of healing. Oh, thank you. So the power of his words heals up more of your wounds. This dog's still here, right?

Given this dog keeps missing, I'm going to turn around and... What are you... What? The dog also keeps missing, so it's an even fight. Do you want to use the giveaway dice? Maybe temporarily, I'm sure the gentleman will... Here, you want one of these? Give me one of them. If you will.

I'm gonna roll turn around and attempt to roll. He's gonna ruin your die forever. Yeah, it's cursed now. Impossible. They're beautiful dice. Ayy, that should hit. 19. 19? That hits, yeah. Oh, we get advantage, don't we? Yeah. We get advantage on the big guy. Oh yeah, you're all advantage on the big guy. Oh shit. Roll one more. No, see? My die is a fucking five. Thank you.

So 10, that was a 5. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 points of damage to him. Kibbage. To the big guy. Kibbage. Kibbage. You finally manage to smash your maul into the back of the bull creature. And he lets out this roar and you hear that crack in his ribs. Irish drop.

- I am going to toll the dead on the big guy. - Okay. - You toll that dead. - Yeah, wisdom save again. - He's gonna succeed. - Okay, well, bye. - You hear the gong in the distance. Felix, you're out. - Fireball to the bench. 17 plus six is 23. - Nice. - Big old tenorino. Two, pow, pow. One for each finger. - Bang, bang. - Bang, bang.

- My baby shot me down. - The dog beast is going to... - I can't do it in my seat to get up to do it.

The bite is gonna miss. Stinger on Toa. That is going to hit. It's gonna be a nice full damage. He is gonna be 10 points of piercing damage. And... Oh wait, hold on. Hold on. I don't think it's actually 10 points. Who's he doing it to? To Toa. Oh. It's not 10 points. It is 8 points. 8 points of piercing. And a compacting curve, please. Oh, okay.

She wouldn't want to get blood on it, you know? 16. 16. You feel the venom, try to see if you can resist it. Okay. And hold on. I want to Stones Endurance that. Okay. Which is once a short rest, I can reduce damage by 1d12 plus 4, so 8 damage, so I don't take any damage from that. Okay. So you meant your, the stone nature of your skin, you managed to kind of resist all of the piercing damage of the pincer.

Okay, Luffy, you're up. Alright. I'm going to pull, just swing with my spoon. That's pretty embarrassing. I missed. Okay, second game plus six is 23. 23 will hit. Five damage. And then I'll come back with an elbow. Five damage. You crack into it. And this one is not advantaged, correct?

It's still a damage. It's still? Okay. I thought it was full. All attacks. 20. 20? Yep. Nice. 7. 7. You smack him with the spoon, right? And then you just crack him in the stomach. He swore he's bleeding pretty profusely now. He's looking pretty wounded. But it is his turn now. And...

he is going to make another, an attack on you, seeing that he's down, Persia. And after you've smacked him, he's gonna swing with his greataxe and is going to just whiff it. And you need to dodge out of the way easily. Persia, you're up.

Hers is gonna stand the fuck up because holy shit, she's in pain. You betcha. You betcha. And she's going to... Can I use a bonus action to take a swig of that ale? Yeah, sure. She's feeling like complete arse and she takes the water skin out of her back, fucking downs it, slams it on the ground. She's like, hey, you piece of shit. I get advantage? No, he's no longer recklessly swinging. God!

15. 15 hits? Yes! Something's happening. Things are happening, things are working. Max damage! Woo! Woo! I just... Ten points of bludgeoning damage. Right in the face. For this purpose, how would you like to do this? Woo!

I'm gonna kneel. I'm using my flail to get up. I got my water skin. I swing it up. Wipe it off. Slam it on the ground. And then as I'm getting up, I'm like gaining momentum like helicopter style hoping that it'll get me on my legs faster. I want to take like... I want it like...

- Three, three, three hits. - Okay. - Full on helicopter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Gives you a little bit of momentum and just

And then you hear the sickening crack as his skull caves in. His skin is a spray across the building. He lets out this gun. And he collapses to the ground. There's still a dog, so you gotta kill that. They've been running the moment. I spit on the midi-target.

*Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae*: *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae* *Mae

I have to go. Yeah, campaign over. That's it. We're all leaving. Canceling Legends of Avengers. It's over. Thanks for 500, but we're... Yeah, 500 was the limit. It's done. Please, shut up. Shut up.

- Sorry, I had to. - Oh shit. - Mama. - Mama Louise. - Mama Spittoon. - The dog is left? - There's a dog, yeah. - Hey, hey dog, you're fucking, what are you, just like a poodle mix or what? Vicious mockery, it has to make a wisdom saving throw.

Wait, is that the one where if it's wisdom is too low though, it doesn't like, it's not strong enough? 13. 13 fails! Okay. It takes... What are you, like a boom exercise? Uh, it takes, uh, 3 psychic damage, and it has disadvantage on its next attack. Your dog used a bitch. Your dog used a bitch.

*laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *laughter* *Lard* *L* *L* *L*

Hit your tail. Richie's about to flip the fucking tail. Never mind. And I hit him. 22 hits. Thank God.

Ooh, and I rolled really poorly. Five, six, seven, eight. Non-dimmage. Non-dimmage. Eat some kibbage and then roll some damage. After the minotaur dies, you smash this dog-like creature across the side. You hear a loud crack, and he's wounded, but he's hanging on. Oh.

Oh, no, I add two damage to that. Okay. He's still hanging on. Rage damage. I forgot. Okay. Iris, your turn. The dog's still alive? What? The dog is still alive? I'm just gonna turn around and I'm gonna go sit in the corner and, like, groom myself. This is what Chas Doon is all about. Iris, uh, well... Firebolt. Firebolt, got it. Righteous Fury. It's a 25.

You got this. Spit on it. To Papa! Bang bang! My baby shot me down. You hear the singed fur smells pretty horrible, but-- and he's still hanging on. And it's his turn. He's going to keep going after Toa. He's got disadvantage. Disadvantaged.

It's horrible, gets a two. Is this a damage again still or is this the first attack? It's Vicious Macro. On his next attack. The stinger is gonna make contact with this. Oh I told you he keeps making it. Four points of mission damage and comm saving throws at Venom. It's not great. One of these days I'm gonna roll poorly and I'm jinxed.

So you rolled well then. Just keep saving up. 11. 11, barely, as you feel the venom sort of seep into you and your max HP has fallen by five. Whoa. What? Like permanently? Until you can cure it, yeah. You're not allergic to Hound, are you?

Your face is starting to... You're a little puppy. Okay, so I'm gonna... You wanna have a potion of Benadryl? With my spoon in my hand, I'm gonna run towards the door, and as I kind of pass by, I'm gonna whack, accidentally whack him with my spoon as I'm running. Okay. Oh, and I'm not gonna do that. Okay, you accidentally don't hit him with his spoon. Yeah, I don't know. 11, I'm assuming that would fit. No.

Okay. You gonna keep running or what? Yeah, because I wasn't trying to go for him, so I would keep running. I think that's as far as you got. You were here. Okay, I'd keep going to the door then. Yeah, Hersha, you're up. You can make it there. You run over to the door? Yeah. Hersha is, she's gonna run up. 5, 10, 15, 20...

- I will do food movement 25 and smack the dog with flail. - Smack that dog. - So they call these two. - Don't smack, okay, 18. - Eight damage. - Eight damage. After this dog creature survived for so long, you smash your flail. It kind of spreads the dog's contents of its head across the pavement and quiet returns.

to the courtyard. - Luffy, that's why I moved backwards. Did you bring myself? - Yeah. - Maybe there's some claws in here. Is there a handle on the door? - There is a large lever. Is it locked?

- In another life, I feel like I could pick this. - I thought maybe he just didn't have those. - Hello, is there anyone in there? It's safe now. You can come out. - I mean, someone would probably knock it down. It looks like it's barely on the hinges. There's like one more whatever that was, knock away from keeping it down. Can someone who's strong unlike myself perhaps give it a good foot?

What if they needed intact? I mean, the whole point was preventing him from knocking it down. I feel like it would defeat the purpose. Look at the door. It's not intact anymore. I think the purpose was to keep him out of the room, not to protect the door. What if he was just pushing it the wrong way? What if he was supposed to push it and not pull it? Exactly. Good on DNA. Stupid. I tried pulling the door open instead of pushing it in. Did anyone respond to the knock? Uh...

Hello? Is anyone in there? It's safe now. - I would say no. - I tried pulling the door open. - You pull the door, it is, despite it kind of being like very barely on its hinges, it's still very much locked into place. - Well, no. - We know it's locked both ways. - Can I blow the hinges off the door?

I can say you could try to attack the foundation. I step away from the door. Are there any windows in the room? In the building? There are in parts of the building, yeah. Hey!

Do you want to try to give me a boost? I'm going to use my feline agility to run as fast as I can and try and jump back legs into the door and try and kick it out. I'll just boost you up into a window. He's going to pick me up into a window. Okay. So you are all looking into the window. You see the broken remains

what seemed to be a kind of gathering hall area. You see a lot of the, there's a lot of blood strewn all over the place. Inside. Inside. But this door is not connected. This door seems to be a full stone wall, basically separating off this room from whatever that room is, the gathering hall is.

And so Iris is going to just sprint at and jump and go with both kicks. Let me get a, because you have such a running start, let me get an athletic check at advantage. Yeah. Thank God. Probably doesn't matter. I don't know what's in there.

It's a two. So let's go with the eight and use that athletics. Are you sure it's not acrobatics? No. I mean, yes, I'm sure it is not. Are you sure? Oh, man. The cleric is asking. She just sprints with her feet and then he goes, and your feet just kind of hit it and you just bounce back. Do you see flicks? Fail. I see them. Flick!

I see a lot of blood, but I don't understand our deity's description of how the door blocks off the rest of the room. So the window, the windows to, you see that this room, that this is a long building. Okay. And that there are windows into a large gathering hall where this door is... Connects to, doesn't have a window. Connects to, there's no window into that room. Oh, okay. Okay.

And so there's a large gathering hall and you can see that kind of basic- If I were to go through the window- If you were to go through the window- I couldn't- There is a solid stone wall all the way across. You couldn't get out? There is a door on the other side. There, okay. There's a lot of blood. I can't quite make out though much more beyond that. Is there another window around the side of the house? It looks like there's lots of windows. I could try to just break the hinges of the door.

Given that Aris tried and it didn't work, but I have a big handy weapon that might help me with it. You could also use his weapon. I'm going back to the Minotaur and I'm investing in the Minotaur. It's not like it didn't work. I wasn't actually trying to knock it in. I was just stretching my legs. May I try to break the hinges on the door with my gigantic totem mace? You haven't been able to hit anything so far, so probably not. It's true, but it just seems really good. Also, you can do it with advantage, yeah.

- Maybe this is a four. - He's going to move that text to the tip. - I'm gonna roll two nets for ones again. - Now you get two 17s. - Wow. - It's one and four. - It's because it's an inanimate object. - 23. Your...

You heave and wind up your mole, and you smash into it. There's a loud... And the stone gives way as this metal door collapses in. You see a room that is filled with all sorts of barrels and crates. And as the door kind of crashes in, make a production check for me.

May I be investigating? Yes. So you're investigating, you loot around, you find 15 silver pieces, and you find a strange pot of oil. 21. 21. You look in, and as the dust is clearing, you see a humanoid figure inside, who seems to be clutching a smaller humanoid figure.

and it seems to be a human woman dressed in, seems to be a blue dress. She's completely covered in blood. She is clutching what seems to be a girl

So this woman is probably about in her middle age, probably in her late 30s, early 40s, and you see what, you can kind of get the sense she's clutching another body in a white dress. Seems to be about a teenage human girl. Her dress completely stained with blood. A massive gash in the back.

And as she, as the door clatters, she doesn't even react. She looks up at you and she goes, shh. The person she's holding is Gash in the back. I lean over, so I said we should approach carefully. I don't think the one woman is alive, but we should try to take the other one alive. I think she tried to help both of them if we can. Proceed with caution. Is, from where I'm standing, would I be able to tell if the one she's holding is alive or dead? She's pretty clearly dead.

He's very pretty though. I'm upset. He told you it was dark. I know. So who's all inside the house right now? I think we're all just standing kind of outside the door. Toa's like the one in the entranceway. I'm standing next to the door. Right, we're all just kind of crowded behind Toa. Who's practicing some yoga. I walk up gently and I say, Are you alright? Do you need help? We killed all the big guys right outside this door. And she's...

She's not really paying much attention to you as she kind of goes back and she's stroking the girl's hair and she's kind of looking off in the distance and she looks back up and she says, "I told you she's sleeping." "Uh, that's fine. Why don't we put her down to rest over here? Couldn't she sleep down on the floor?" Makeup straightened her hair. "Why am I the one doing this?" Because you're blocking the door.

And we don't need that, that's only for combat. You're 11 feet tall. I'm not that tall. Nine plus one, it's ten. Ten. No, tin. Tin. She shakes her head and she looks up at you and says, she always likes sleeping in my arms. Is there anyone else here? They took the children, they took little Taz. And she reaches and pulls out like a little bear.

You guys are making it really hard. Don't make it out loud! This is dark! She pulls out a little bear that's a little bit covered in blood on the side. I can't believe this is right.

What's over here? Is that a curiosity? That's a well. The map is unimportant for combat at this point now. No, no, I know. I'm just because I'm outside and everyone's forwarded around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just you can put that back on the map. As I approach the group, I'm smelling the oil. You said it was strange? Yeah, it's a strange oil. You kind of put your fingers in it. It seems very slippery.

You were terrible. Can I make a guess as to what this could possibly be? If you maybe took an hour, you might be able to divine what it would take. Alright, well I'll put it into my pouch. And I'll be excited about the potential of this reality. Hey, what'd you guys find? I'm gonna walk forward. Um...

into the room and I'm going to say to her, "How long has she been sleeping, darling?" "Only an hour now." "Will you allow me to hold her hand while she sleeps?" Make her persuade me, Chai. Seventeen. She looks at you and she thinks for a moment, there's something about your voice that soothes her, not soothes. And, uh...

And she looks up at you and nods as she kind of is rocking. So I'm going to reach down and I'm going to touch her hand and for the next ten minutes I'm going to cast Gentle Repose. Okay. Which puts the body into a state that gives ten days for the possibility of raised dead. Okay. Okay. So you kind of see a shimmering over this body, but it's very discreet. Okay. You grab the hand. Power move. What's going on, guys?

I don't think there's anyone left. As I feared, they've already taken the children. Alright, I'm going to come into the room. Let this clear up a little bit. I think we should probably spread out and search, but we're probably just too late. Hey, what's your name? I'm Hirja.

What happened here? You've fallen up actually. What's your "glockwood"? No, I have it. I don't know what it is. I keep hearing "glockwood". Oh, sorry about that. No, the "glockwood" is the wood that we went through and I keep hearing "glockwood". It should be the "glockwood". God damn it. She looks up at you and she says, "Rosalina." Rosalina. Talk a little louder. Rosalina. Hey, Rosalina. How are you feeling?

Can we take a look at you? I'm fine. I'm fine. They took little Thomas. Is Thomas your boy? Yes, he's my boy. How old is Thomas? He's one year old. How old is your daughter here? She just turned 14. What is her name? Her name is Alma. Well, Rosalina, we have no intention of harming you. We came and defeated the monster that was outside.

He's dead, we've taken care of him, rest assured. Do you mind if I just take a look at you and see how you're doing? Persuasion check, please. Ten. Ten. She goes back to kind of stroking Alma's hair, but doesn't really recoil at your presence.

All right, I'm just going to take a look at you. I'm not going to hurt you, and I just want to inspect her. Give it a quick medicine check, please. 18. 18. She doesn't resist your prodding. You get the sense that she's clutching all not tightly and occasionally stroking her hair. She's clutching the little teddy bear. And she seems to be,

She seems to be mostly in harm. She has a scratch on the side of her arm, but you're not sure what that's from. We should take a look around for clues, Big D. All right, well, I think you guys tend to her, and we'll continue to look around. We won't go too far, given that every time we get to any part of the village, there's some terrible monster. So we'll stay close, but look for clues. Sounds good. What is this place, Rosalina?

This place? That you're in right now, with the door. This is the storehouse. I took Alma here and fled when they came. I took a blade to the back and I dragged her in here so she could sleep. But they also dragged Thomas away from me and towards the church before I could get here. Where in the city is the church?

It's just down, down the road up. Can I see a map actually of that? Is it where we've already been or is it left? No, it is left, where it goes left. Is this a church of Luthander? This is a church of the Raven Queen. Oh. Would I know anything about the Raven Queen? I would say yes without having to know. Yes, you would know. Do I? Why don't you give me a nice religion check? Yeah, I as well. Same for me? Yeah.

Ten. Sixteen. What was that? Sixteen. Sixteen. You would know Kersha, you've heard kind of mention of it, but it's not common at all for where you're from. So you really, it sounds like kind of more of like folk tale and myth. It's kind of hard for you to discern as far as what it is. Caprice with the circle that you kind of

been in and kind of hung out in, you would know that the Raven Queen is a goddess of death, prominent in the Shacklefell. Yeah, the city is a pretty diverse place. I might have heard her name thrown about a few ways. Yeah, you would have heard her name thrown about. And I guess, however, actually, you would know, I guess, all of you being here, I take that back, you would have not known much

But given that you're in Korovakia, it's very explicit. They will say like Ravens, Queens, Blessings. They're explicit about the religion of the Raven Queen. So I actually take that back. I apologize. You learn about the Raven Queen by coming to Korovakia despite not having much exposure to her previously.

So this is not uncommon. We expect, oh yeah, there's a church. Of course it's the Raven Queen. Yes, the state religion. So that would be what you would expect. I don't say anything. I just absorb that information and process it in that way.

Let me know roughly when ten minutes has passed. And we're kind of just like checking around the city square, seeing if there's any other signs down any roads of beasts, seeing if we can hear any amongst us. So you... So I'll help him invest two. At advantage? I'll be watching. Twelve plus... Six is eighteen. Eighteen.

So you investigate around. You see that there are a couple additional corpses here and there, but once again, it's kind of few and far between. It's almost been kind of eerie how few bodies that there have been, given that this town has been completely destroyed. And there's no sign of livestock whatsoever. All the livestock that has gone, there's no bodies of any kind of animals at all. You...

poke around you find you know most of the there hasn't been any looting at all uh there's been you find some storehouses of supplies and things that have been completely smashed the roof has been has caved in but nothing taken

You kind of check either side and you see that there's two, I don't know how far you want to get from this town square. You see that there is a well in the center and that there's basically a road that goes to the east and to the west. Kind of off in different directions, curving around up into the woods. But there's no like sounds or sight of beasts? In your immediate, depends on how far you get. Is there signage?

Like, to say what the roads lead to? -Signage. -So, there's just like kind of street names? Like basic things like, you know, like Poplar or Lane? -They're not like, "The church is this way."

No, she told you which way the church was. Right, I just didn't know if they were signing it. No, no, no. We were gone before they were investigating. Yeah, so I mean, you probably get the sense that in a village like this, everyone knows where everything is. So, like, you know, there might be street names or whatever, but nothing like, you know, this way to, you know, the church. Got it. I think we would probably just kind of, as stealthily as possible, just stick our heads down each of the roads just to, like, see, sort of get an idea what's down each way. Okay. Make a perception check for me. Okay.

We'll say both of you, yeah. Oh boy. 20. I got an 8. Uh, yeah.

Eight. Eight? Okay. So, 20. So, Toa, as you poke your head in the direction down this way, there's kind of like the light in the sky gets a little bit brighter as more and more buildings are kind of burning, the fire is kind of getting a bit more bright, and you notice that

that as you poke your head down direction, you see kind of up and around the bend that there's a fire seems to be a little bit brighter in the lower to the ground, kind of this more kind of broad city building, and you hear what sounds like dull, a single dull guttural voice chanting in some kind of language you can't understand. He can hear it? He can hear it. Very distant.

Not very distant, but it's faint. Does it sound similar to the bestial grunting we've been hearing from the Minotaur and the Goatman? I would say that's pretty obvious. There's at least one more, far off in the distance. You hear something? I do. There's one just seemingly chanting, "Down this way." And which path was that? That was towards the west? Yeah. One bit of-- and with that investigation,

I would say that you'd be able to see tracks with this, we'll say. You notice, strangely, that there's a lot of footsteps that kind of go from the kind of town center where you're at just off into the woods. And like humanoid, human like boop, boop.

Is it as if they fled the square? Like, off into the woods? Hard to say. It's hard to say whether they fled or whatever, but basically just like tracks leaving away from, just into the forest. Not kind of down the road, but just into the forest. Do you fill me in on that? I assumed that you, with the high perception... That was from the investigation. Okay, okay. Then yeah, of course I'm going to tell you. So...

Do you think that these treks into the woods could have been some of the villagers that were turned, chasing Eustace or whatever his name was? It's totally possible. It's possible. I don't know if anyone was able to flee, get away. I don't know if these are people who lived here or they were people who attacked. It's hard to say. We have no way of knowing. We should rally the rest of the gang, though, and we should get to the source of that chanting and perhaps end it. We should. I could use a rest. Honestly, it's been quite...

I'm pretty beat up at this point. I agree, I just, I don't know how, we have nowhere safe to go. That's right, but it seems, I think I'm convinced now that there's no sense of immediate danger, or emergency, given that it seems like this town's pretty... Chanting is concerning. I agree. It is concerning. This is pretty serious. This is like the most real things have been since I've gotten here.

Let's get back to the rest of the group and see if we can... I'll follow you. Alright. We'll head back. So as the ten minutes passes, I'm channeling the gentler pose into this girl. And I look up at her mother and I say, Darling, Rosalina, I need to speak to you about something. Because life is not easy. And death is definitely not easy. But you are her mother. And what I've done for her with the will of Anubis...

the Lord under the mountain. He has given her ten additional days to be able to be risen from this state. That means that you, as her mother, need to find someone that can do this. I cannot fear. All Anubis has allowed me to do is hold her in this state and I know you're scared. I will do what I can to find Thomas, though I cannot promise you anything. What I can promise you is I have given you a chance to get your daughter back. Be her mother. Fight for her. Accept this.

Find someone to help her. You have ten days. Make a... And I'm gonna clasp both of their hands. Make a persuasion check. Seven, eighty-one. Twenty-three. Twenty-three. She looks up at you, and she seems a few tears for the first time sort of well up in her eyes. And she looks at you and she says, I'm not supposed to want her back because she is in the embrace of the Raven Queen now.

But I want... I am being selfish. She is in the embrace of a mother. And with the will of Anubis, she is safely there in that body for ten days. You either let the Raven Queen come and take her, or you bring her back to your arms. You have that choice. No one can make it for you. But I will not lie to you, Nisman. Because this is difficult. Death is never easy. But it is the only thing in this life that is certain.

And in this moment, I am certain she has ten days. I don't know where I would take her. That is up to you to decide and to find out. I've done what I can here. Thank you. I appreciate any small act of kindness after so much loss. May I have that teddy bear? She kind of clutches him a little bit and withdraws. I only ask, should I find Thomas?

It would be the one way he would know I have met you. Uh, 24. 24. 51. Uh... The 81 would be better. She looks at you and she kind of grabs the barrel of the bear and looks down at Alma and she hands it over to you. I will guard this with my life. And hopefully one day I will be able to return it to you. Do what you can for her. She has limited time.

I will try. She's looking, all kind of staring, not even looking at you. I'm going to just hold the little bear and sit down in the corner and just kind of pray to Anubis. Okay. Does she technically have 20 days? Ten. Because it extends it by ten. And as long as the target has not been dead for more than ten days, for raise time, you can use it. Okay, so just change all that to 20 days. No, no, it's ten days from when you cast it. So as long as you haven't been dead for days. So yeah, ten days from when you cast it.

- It's because he was gentle with us on that. - Okay. - Are we back yet? - Yeah, you're back. - Toa heard at least one more. - At least? - Chanting. - From what direction? - From the west.

Is that the left or the right? The direction of the church. It was different. We didn't hear any chanting before, did we? They were more just talking before. This sounded like chanting. My concern is that the direction she gave us of the church, where they took her son, was to the west. That's where they took her son. That's what she says, yes. And other children, perhaps? We don't have time for a rest. We can't. We have to keep going. I'm exhausted, but I... It was my solemn vow...

My god, if this just happened, we would have been kings. How long has it been? Has it been an hour? It's been... since you guys have been looking around? Yeah. I mean... I mean, if you wanted to take a full hour, I mean, it'd probably been about like 20 minutes. I would say I don't think we would have taken an hour. Yeah, I don't think we would have taken an hour. I don't think we would have taken an hour. You know, we could have looked around in the time that you were channeling easily. Yeah, 10 minutes. I would say 10, 20 minutes, yeah. Well, how about this...

Why don't we approach and we'll get to leave the land if we think that it's an emergency, just like this last time? We can jump into action, and if it's not, perhaps we can finish our rest. I've still got a little bit left in the tank. The magic tank. But with the grace of my god, I hope that we get through this. I mean, basically all I can do at this point is throw insults at people, so... It's been effective so far, I would say. It's been surprisingly effective. It's a very weak country. It's very fine.

I'm going to grab her hand again even though she's looking off into the distance and Rosalina, we are going now. I hope to see you again in the future and I hope that your fate has turned for the better when I do. Please find Thomas. I will do my very best. And I'm going to just leave the room and just stand outside with everybody. She continues to rock and pet and stroke Alma's hair. Let's go. Are we going? Come on. Yeah, let's go. Let's rock and roll.

So let's stealth. We're gonna stealthily... Okay. Right? Yeah. I can stealth. Trying to go weest? Is that what you say? Weest? Yep. To the church. Stealth check. Yep. 20. Oh, 19. Are we doing that? That gives me 22. I got a 7. A 7 also. Nice. Nice. We don't know. I have no idea how stealthy I am. You don't know, John Snow. Okay. You stealth?

You make your way through the town. You see... Twelve, sorry. Twelve. You see the same kind of scenes that you've seen the pens of previous pens of livestock that seem to have been totally vacated. A handful of bodies here and there. Same wounds. Claw marks, gore marks. And then rough weapon wounds. And you turn the corner and you see a bright...

fire blazing more concentrated than the smaller in buildings off down beyond what seems to be a modest Darkly colored church you see a huge Blazing fire almost looks like a bonfire. It would contain in something and a figure Silhouetted in front of it. It seems to be a huge beast

even larger than the bull creature that you saw. It, two huge black horns, but covered in hair, but its back covered in spines, ridges, its skin patched with all sorts of warping, warped mutations, almost, look. And it carries a

huge, looks like a pike, long handle poleaxe type thing, vicious, covered in blood, roughly forged, holding up to the sky another clawed hand up to the sky as it chants in this guttural voice,

clear to none of you. Is it the same? Is it the same? Seems to sound like the same language that you heard previously. So you don't want me to read them off? Do you speak abyssal? No. No. No worries. Wait, so infernal is different from abyssal? Yes. Okay. Infernal, devil's, abyssal, which I don't know why I said that, but why does it matter?

And it is... So that's why any D&D player worth their salt should know what Abyssal's from, obviously. Duh, duh. And you see that there seems to be a great makeup subject. All of us? Whoever's in front. Toe is normally in front. I'm right behind Toe. Are we 23? Are we all just rolling? Yeah.

Okay. There we go. I would say... Here, let's see. Group check. Ten. Perfect. Ten. Twenty. Okay. I'd say you can see that there, that he seems to be standing. You can kind of make out, you get a little bit closer. It seems to be in front of an altar. Similar style to the one that would be in form, but considerably larger. And sitting atop this altar is not difficult to see. Is a huge...

metal structure that is blazing. It seems to be forged in the shape of a head of a bull. It's... the mouth is open and there's just this inferno raging inside the mouth of this metal structure. And you can see that it's

It's almost the size of the altar itself, but it's resting on this as this fire is just blazing inside. Do we hear anything coming out through its mouth? Just the crackling, raging fire and then the guttural roars of this creature and this language. Is it a bull head or a bull skull? The metal bull head. Mouth open. And it's on top of an altar? On top of an altar.

The mouth open, the flames inside. Do I recognize the voice as though it might make a bullish sound, like a guttural sound, like something we might have heard in the distance over the last day or two that we've traveled in this area? I would say that that would be an obvious deduction. Do I recognize the bull head to be a forge of some kind? I would say that's obviously not a-- I don't know if we can take this thing.

I don't see any children. I don't know what rushing in will do at this point, but we may be outgunned here. Is he in front of the church? He's in front of the church. Is it possible that he's already burned the children? Yeah, it's very possible the children are already dead.

He's outside the church. Why would they burn the church down? I don't know. I just know that they've been missing and being stolen for weeks now. Months. And I have no idea what they're doing with them. I feel like there's a couple of different things going on right now. I feel like there's the beast that we fought when the guy was running away from town, right? The red-eyed human guy. Beast plague. Beast plague. Your deal, right? Yep. The altar...

And these bull, the bull, I mean, these seem like separate things. I'm not sure that this guy is necessarily, I mean, I know that he's got a giant fire head and he's speaking a language that we don't understand. However, I'm not ready to assume that he's going to attack us in the same way that we tried to save the young lady. I don't know if he saved, he might have been trying to get in there just for fun.

For saving her himself. I don't think that we should make any assumptions about this until we learn more information. Felix, are you hearing this? At what time do we just throw him into the fire? I think that sounds about right. And I'm not one to say that very easily. You

You're getting tired. You need to snap a neck? I got one for you. I told you I don't like to snap necks. I can hear both of you right now. I'm just like to assume the best in people, right? And so do I. I think that that's great, but he's a gigantic, horrifying ball monster. And we've killed like three of them so far at least. Not to mention their dogs. Not to mention... That was our mistake, though. You would understand. Caprice, you have...

assumed that the last three or four goat people that we have fought were good people and I thought you know give him the benefit of the doubt and all of them turned on us and I fell and if it weren't for you I probably would be dead so

So I think it's safe to maybe stop assuming that everything might be a nice guy because this looks like a really terrible forge looking thing even though it might not be but it does and maybe they're throwing children in there and maybe they're not but you know maybe this is a nice guy but he's probably not.

Well, why don't I go talk to him? No, we're not doing this again. Honestly, darling, if you want to go talk to him, I don't see a problem with it. Do you want to go take the bullhead with you, too? I don't know if he understands common, but like... There are lots of people that like to take the bullhead.

Yeah, I know. If this goes sideways, we're getting out of here. That's right. That's right. We're just going to do as we always do. We've got a mission. We've got a mission. Kershaw needs a shirt that just says, probably not. Yeah. Now, so hold on. Can we, is it, are there, so in the church, are there any windows, like, is it feasible that we can sneak past and, like, look inside the windows of the church?

I would say no. He says go fuck yourself. I want a token now. Step where you want to go. Through my favor.

Down a cove. It's a very narrow path. There's nothing. It's a very narrow path. Your boy in drawing is the best. Thank you. Our DM is very artistic. I'm looking for dicks right now. No dicks. I think he scans his drawing for dicks before he puts them out. He's more careful now. I see one dick.

Can we see past the altar with the bull head to the church door? Is the church door visible? The church door would be obscured by this. Unfortunate. Don't you think it's weird that there's a raven-themed church here, but then earlier we found out that there was that statue of Lusander over the graveyard? I don't know why there would be two different... That's not weird, is it?

I don't think it's that weird. I would say, yeah, multiple gods are worshipped in multiple... Even though the predominant religion is the Raven Queen, it's not outlawed to worship other gods. Did you say the church was on fire?

Yes, the church is smoldering as well. So they burn off the churches. Yeah, you can see that the church... I missed that part. Yeah, I actually didn't mention that. So ahead of you, you see the church, and in front of this, you see that it's blazing like the rest of them. So... Sorry. So the whole Raven Queen thing is just that's the state-mandated religion of the Corvacian army, and then there are other gods. Other gods that are worshipped. It's not like religion is regulated in the country. It's good for me.

Okay. All right. Just so... All right. Just make sure I'm on the same page. Yeah. Okay. I'm still inclined to go out there. I'll be honest. No. How are you not spent at this point? Oh, I'm... I'm fucking tired. I have no resources to my name and I am...

Very comfortable hanging out and talking to that piece. You think the six of us can take him down? If I had to put a number on it, I'd say I have two more tricks up my sleeve. Well, I've got zero, bud. How about that? Look, I'm just as exhausted as anybody is, but are any of you in that room with me? The woman was clutching the dead body of her daughter. Like, how can, after seeing that, how could any of you want to walk away from this? I don't even like Iris, and I'm with her.

I'm not. Am I talking about walking away from this? I'm talking to everybody else. Like, yes, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, but at least I'm not clutching the dead body of my daughter. My life could be much worse right now. What is wrong with any of you? This isn't what I came here to look for. Yes, but it's why. It made me really... But you keep talking about your father. How would you feel if you were looking at his dead body right now?

I feel really shit, yeah. Wouldn't you want a group of six people, can I count? Yes. Six people to walk in and smite those that did this to someone you loved? How could you leave her like that? Well, again, it's not what I intended to go for. I didn't expect it to be in the city. What if you sent...

Beatrice sent to the church. What's Beatrice going to do? It's just smoldering. I mean, that was my thought too, right? It's smoldering. It's not like it's completely destroyed, though. It's smoldering. You could send her around and take a look. I'll protect you while you do your thing. All right. And I... We can do this. But just to discuss strategy, once I do a sweep, I'm not going to be long. I...

since I still have a little bit of energy left, I don't mind rushing and creating a distraction and getting an opening for

bigger heavier hitters to get in what do you think if we all just rush and just put everything that's what I'm saying then we at least have a head start I'll create an opening and then you guys can take him out we're not gonna fight this thing are you crazy oh no we are definitely going he's not good he's what is it he's a big guy look at him I almost don't even want to bother with Beatrice I almost want to just just let's take we have the advantage right now but he's the thing

is that if there's not an immediate reason to go after this guy, I could use maybe 10, 15 more minutes to rest before we go do this. I'll be in much better shape. I've been happy to take a rest. I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm very sorry. I just... Here's the reason I'm here, alright? I pull out what looks like an ancient, tattered piece of paper and slap it down.

On this piece of paper, which I acquired from a very old library in Galtica, on this piece of paper it says, and this is relevant to my past, we don't have to get into the whole thing, The fall of the dark prodigy will begin in the land, in the shadow of the raven, heralded by the roar of the bull. Now would you not agree that this is...

A roar of a bull. Yes, that's very specific. Can you repeat that just one more time? I would be happy to, perhaps at a later time. However, the whole point... I'm just missing my memory notes. Yeah, you've never talked to me about this. This is really new. I've been interpreting this for the last few weeks. I've been going through it. I speak the language that this is written in. And this bull sound, I mean, I was compelled to go earlier when we were talking about it.

But this seems like the relevant time for us to have a conversation about is there a much more... Look at this thing. If anything's going to roar like a bull, it's got to be this thing. And you think that this creature may be able to reason? I absolutely do. If anyone...

Do you want me to come with you?

If you want to. Just, I can't, hold on, let me just make sure that I'm getting this right. You found some creepy evil scroll in the library that says that the fall of the whole world is going to be heralded in with the roar of a bull. Probably that guy, and you want to go up and speak with him. Am I kind of, am I grasping that?

No, he's not making much sense.

I'm gonna lose it. - To be completely frank, and I may be talking completely crazy, but honestly, I'm exhausted and I feel like we can make something happen, he and me. - What if we let him go and he just wants his back?

That was going to be my point. We let him go. He's probably going to die. I've just met him, so it's fine. And we stay back in the shadows. And then we attack and he won't expect us because he's focused on killing him. And if you die, can I have all of your jewelry? Yeah, absolutely. It costs like one or two copper apiece. I do not want any of them. And of course, if things go sideways...

Get out of here, leave them all for dead. Of course, of course. How far is this creature from us? I would say you're back at the far end of whatever the map is. Is that 60 feet? Yeah, you're... Well, I'd say you're a little bit further than that. But, like, yeah, you could creep up. He seems to be pretty focused with whatever chaining he's doing. Can we say that we could take, like, 15 minutes to just relax while he's doing his chanting thing? Maybe see what happens? I can't wait to see what kind of...

10 minutes?

If that's what you need. How much longer would it be? I would say about ten more minutes for a longer purpose. Let's take ten minutes and then we can go in. Okay. Or you can go in and watch your back and if you really don't want to see me tracing the wood burning fish. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Watch me for ten minutes. It's fine. I'll enjoy this short rest. Song of rest style as a bard singing... Softly.

Just softly, softly. I'll think fast. I'll think fast. I'd imagine you would go back a little bit. Oh yeah, I'm gonna go sit by a tree and say to Tela, "Don't let anything happen to my body." I'm gonna leave this spot and I sit down right next to him holding my guts. I go to him, "Everyone just relax. Enjoy the melody."

We were on our way to Kirstein, then we killed a lot of creatures. On our way to Kirstein, then we killed a lot of creatures. Met a guy named Godric, then we killed a lot of creatures. He had an ox named Lockhart, then we killed a lot of creatures. Beautiful! You have to work this in at some point.

If I gave you that inspiration, you would have it now, but you don't. I'll take inspiration in my heart. Everyone adds an additional d6 to their, uh, if you roll one hit die, you get to roll that d6. But it's one extra d6. Exactly. And I'll do that for myself. Okay.

Beatrice pops out of her pocket mansion and flaps on your shoulder. You sit down next to Toa, and your eyes gloss over in white. You then see through Beatrice's eyes and hear through her.

I would just like to do a circle of the church, see how much damage there is, if there's holes in the roof, if I can see in the church. Is she going to try to fly stealthily? Yeah. Roll a stealth trick for her, please. Your stats. I don't. That's the one thing that I was not prepared for. I rolled a 10. Okay.

So she flaps and gets high above and you fly over the town. You can kind of get a bird's eye view and see that most of the buildings are still kind of smoldering. A lot of them have kind of fallen in, more fallen into their foundation. You see that the church...

seems to have been attacked a little bit later, and you see that although the door, you can get a better look at the door, and it seems to, the door has been smashed in, and it is possible to go in that the steeple has kind of collapsed on itself from the damage of the fire, and some of the wall has been bashed in.

But for the most part, it seems to be standing. Is there anything in particular you're looking for? If it's basically still standing and okay, I was going to see if I could see into the church. But if there's no opening to see into the church, then

I would say that some of the larger windows have been smashed in. What about the back? Like if I fly all the way to the back of the church? I would say that it's probably a smashed window you could fly in. Just to look, yeah. Okay. Beecher just flaps in, kind of keeping towards the dark of the wood. Flaps around and peeks inside. And you see... Make a perception check for me, actually.

20. 20, okay. So, uh, Beatrice flaps in and sees a, a, uh, pretty, uh, classic style, like a gothic style church, you could say, just for the, uh, dark, and there seems to be an altar up at the front, uh, a lot of motifs of, of ravens, very kind of dark and sullen, occasional, like, uh, painted, uh, almost a painted mask, uh,

imagery and then you see at the center of back behind an altar a large platform where a statue would you would think would be but there doesn't seem to be one there. All right large platform missing potentially missing statue. Nothing else? No sign of life?

No sign of life or movement. You see the sign of a bit of death. You see some blood stains and some bashed over pews and the like. And you see probably maybe one body just kill off in the

Okay. But it's hard to tell. It's dark. It's smoldering, but it's not kind of this blazing wreck. Most of the fire is coming from the brazier. All right, I'll just return. Okay. Come back in then. You fly back and you pull yourself out of it and Beatrice then soon flaps down to your shoulder. Do you see the children? It's nothing. There's no life. It's just blood, damage. It was an altar.

There appeared to be some sort of a large platform where there may have been a statue that was removed, but no children. Which is what I feared. That's too late. Is everyone feeling a little rested? Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better, thanks. Was it actually a short rest? Yes. I'm gonna recover one spell slot. Well, yeah. Boom!

I'm gonna leave my viol here. It's very expensive. Take care of it. Should anything horrible happen, I want you guys to make sure that it gets back to Daltica. Did you say it was very expensive? Oh yes, it's worth quite a lot. It's a disaster. Oh yes, I will take care of it for you. You know, if you ever get to Daltica, you can buy one for yourself. Oh, lovely. But return this to my dad. If my papa... he would want to know. Darling, and that gets gone.

Of course Rachel. Absolutely. Just look for the shop DeSesto on the front it says "Don't fret, it's DeSesto" you'll be all set. Lovely, thank you guys. And uh, well, I'll see you guys later. And I start to walk out and towards the giant flaming bull man. I'm gonna go with him. Okay.

You don't even make any attempts to stealth. I walk up. As I am doing so, I am unrolling this very same letter that I have, and I'm holding it out and waiting for it. As soon as it catches attention and sees me, I'm going to try to communicate.

Okay. So you pull out the page in the scroll that you have, and as this dwarf and tiefling walk out, and this bull creature is chanting, and it seems to...

be paying you no mind, at least from where you are as you're approaching, as looking up into the sky. As you approach, you can see now that his eyes are blazing, almost with this burning fury. Almost like it's actually, almost like his eyes are alight. And do I see anything immediately around him, like other creatures, or just... It's just him. Just him. Make a perception check, actually, the closer that you get.

That'd be fun. Let's go with a seven. Seven. You just see him.

I know not your name. What I'm hoping, I can read this, I can't understand you, but I am hoping that you can understand myself in this moment. And I do not want to interrupt whatever you're doing so much that I want to understand what you're doing. If you could pause for just a moment and we could maybe sit down, blabber a little bit, have a conversation, that would be the tits. laughter

As soon as you finish talking all of this, you go His arm is strong. He turns

Oh, Jesus Christ. And you see this horrific bull creature that looks far more unnatural than the one that you just killed. This massive maw of sharp teeth is horrifically deformed in places, almost skull-like in its head. And his eye is kind of just furious, and he looks at you as you hold up this page. And he sees your skin, and he...

I don't understand Infernal.

This was not my intention. I didn't mean to look like this. I'm not a devil. I promise very much that I'm... I'm speaking in infernal as I'm doing this. I promise very much that that was not my intent. I don't intend to die. I'd like to live a long and healthy life, have a whole family, have a bunch of little caprices running around. That's...

It's not important. The important thing is that, uh, no, no, no, I don't want to interrupt what you're doing. If you need to do your own thing, I thought that perhaps we were on the same side. I mean, uh, follow the dark prodigy seems like something we both might be invested in, am I right? His eye is narrow. Make a persuasion check. That's where I'm a Viking. Don't fuck this up, man. Yeah, don't jinx yourself, dude. Oh, good.

25. Yeah, baby! Plus a 9? Now I'm a seducer! He places down his massive poleaxe into the ground with a thud, and he says, What do you know of the Dark Prodigy? Quite literally nothing. However...

However, if you, if we can, if literally we can have a chat, I would be, that would be enormous for me. I would totally be on board with whatever that looks like in the reality of this moment. Is she your sacrifice? Oh, shit.

Don't shout at all. She has no idea. She's just seen this horrific mole creature point at you. And you can tell the language has changed. And then Caprice has switched this thing. He's like, this is like horrific language. He points at me and I'm like. She's like, I can't speak for a breath.

You betcha. You betcha. Don't you know. Sure, bud. Sure, bud. Do whatever you want. As you know, I know very little. I wasn't aware that a sacrifice... No, no, no. What I'll say is... If a sacrifice is required, does it have to be a... We'll just turn this off now. Um...

Does it have to be a humanoid style sacrifice? Is it going to be an object? What does the sacrifice require in order to make this exchange occur? What good is dwarf flesh beyond sacrifice, devil?

I mean, I still don't know why you're calling me a devil. I mean, I know I've got the whole horns thing and everything, but I just... You know what? It's not important. The answer is no. If anyone's getting sacrificed, I'm the one who came to approach you, and I think that that's meaningful. Did the dark prodigy send you? And he starts to get very, very visibly angry, and he pulls up his poleaxe. Uh-oh. Uh...

You're just smiling and nodding.

Do we see him getting kind of frustrated and raging a bit? Yeah, so we're getting ready. I'm nudging Toa like, "We're getting ready to rumble, brother." Are we gonna rumble? 100% absolutely not. If the Dark Prodigy is the same person that you and I are talking about, then you and I are on the same team, 100%. Smooth. Persuasion check. The eye is narrow.

26. - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah

If that's going to signal the end of the Dark Prodigy, then absolutely 100%, no problem. Then bring your sacrifice to me. Let me go get my sacrifice, and then I will be right back. Ashen Bullet, Dark King, or the King? This is my servant. This is not my sacrifice. It's crude, dwarf flesh. Clearly you need something of more superior quality for a sacrifice of this nature. You can persuade him, Jack. No!

Gotta quit talking in your head. 24. Yeah! These dice are the best dice I've ever purchased. Rolling the tiny violin case really makes it for me. Oh my god, I peed so much during this conversation. One minute.

All right, Herja, if you will just join me for one minute. I'll be right back, sir. Thank you so much, Mr. Bullfriend. I've lost my accent completely. Spaghetti! I am tugging you along with this briskly walk back. I look over my shoulder. Is he staring at us? He's staring intently as you leave. What the hell?

What the hell was that? Well, you didn't kill him, so I guess we were wrong. What did he say? Well, he's asked me to, I think perhaps to join his cult, and he is looking for a sacrifice in order to end the Dark Prodigy, which is definitely something that I think that we all want, but I'm not actually certain what would make a good sacrifice. He was talking about you. I just needed to get you out of there. Oh, is that why he was pointing at me? I thought he was like, well, she's pretty cool. Well, I mean, sacrifice...

You know, I told him that I would make a fine sacrifice and you know to be completely honest you guys are all very fine people if we could find literally anything that isn't me that would be the tits.

He wants a live, like, person to sacrifice? Well, he pointed at her, Jess. But he called her crude dwarf flesh. So I feel like anything that's better than dwarf flesh in the eyes of this bull would be totally fine, right? But you didn't bother to find out what?

No, we were just, we were on a certain, there was a same page, I didn't want to question him too much about the particularities of, you know, it's not important. But let's just, you know, go. 30 seconds. Oh, so we're out of time. So how good would a sacrifice be if we bring that bull thing that we just fought over as a sacrifice? I mean, it just, when we freshly killed it, it's kind of, well, you know, what lies to warn. It's their family or something.

then I think there's gonna be a problem. - You start hearing the loud footsteps and it starts to come down the pathway in your direction as this is about to turn. - I think he's searching for my sacrifice. - So where's your sacrifice?

I'm sorry? Where's your sacrifice? Well, I didn't know I was gonna have to have a sacrifice. But did you agree to give him a sacrifice? He was asking for the sacrifice and I was like, "Hold on, I'll be right back." Are we fighting or are we running? Pick. Or are we sacrificing somebody? I think that's the request. It's getting louder and louder and he says, "TIMES OF DEVIL!"

What did he say? Time's up to the devil. He's referring to me because of the horse. Common misconception. People call me a cat all the time, and obviously I'm not. Why don't we offer all of ourselves up as sacrifice? Why on earth would we do this? Hold on, maybe we can trick him. Maybe when we all get close... Well, we don't know what he means by sacrifice. I mean, maybe it's a good thing.

Nah, fuck it. It's getting louder. I guess, you know what? Why don't you guys go run away? It's been nice to know y'all. I turn around and I start to walk out out of nervousness because I have no idea how to handle this situation. No, no, and I grab you and I pull you back. Let's just get the fuck out of here. I don't know if we could, I mean, look at that thing. That thing was massive. Should we run? Do you think we should run? Run!

- He turns the corner immediately and sees you and he lets out a roar. And he says, "Roll to the training devil!" And he just roars and he just thunders right at you. I'm gonna need everyone to roll initiative. - Oh no! - I'm so sorry. - So 20 to 25, besides Herjira? - Oh shit, what did I roll? - 15 to 20? - Hold on, wait, wait, wait. - 20 to 25, 21 for me. - 21? - Yeah. - 21 for me also.

You can go first. Yeah, my pleasure. Oh shit, I lost Caprice. Oh no. Toad and Phyllis, what do you got? 14. Eight. Iris, what do you got? Oh, I got a 10. Eight. I'm last. As this horrific bull, demonic-looking bull creature is charging at you with his massive poleaxe, his brutal poleaxe, completely furious at the level of deception that you've done, his eye is locked on you. What are you gonna do?

I didn't mean to deceive you, great bull man. I grab my vial and I say, "I have my sacrifice here. Take this, it's a de-cesto!" It's more important to me than the whole world is more important than any human or humanoid flesh, take it! Make a persuasion check.

One more, baby. No, I don't feel it. 21. 21. 22.

He looks at you and he says, "You're a terrible devil!" - I will-- - Jesus. - That was my object interaction and my talk. - Yeah. - So for my action, I will hold it. If he attacks me, I will attack him back. But I am obviously not trying to start anything. - Okay. - Lufty, you're up. - He's not here. - Coming.

- Did your monk astrally project? That's really impressive. - I know. She's good for a couple of things. And I literally mean it. - Our bard has decided to hold his attack and try not to start shit with the bull monster. - Uh, yes. That sounds like a good idea. - What? Where are we just gonna go? I think I'll wait.

I'm going to grab Iris by the tail and start running away from the bull. Okay. So... Straight, shock burn. Yeah. Make an athletics check. Acrobatics, you say? That sucks.

So I'll not do anything. Iris does not budge. As you're trying to yank everything. Just really comically, like, Flintstones running and not going anywhere. I yell, "We'll let you go first!" Herge up, you're up. I'm gonna stand in front of Caprice defensively and say, "I don't like the way you pointed your finger at me!" What? Can you move Herge in front of Caprice? Oh, yeah sure. And move me over by Iris. Like behind her? She's on my left, yeah.

I don't appreciate the way you pointed your finger at me, so I'm gonna point one back. So, there. How about that? Don't come any closer, I'm warning you, and you probably don't understand me, but... You're messing with the wrong people, and we killed your friends, so fuck off. I'm just gonna menacingly, like, flail it helicopter-style above my head. I don't think that stands common. Whatever, you can translate for me. You got us in this mess in the first place.

- Ta! Punch him in the face! I'm gonna trust you Felix! I got your back buddy! - I'm gonna turn and I'm gonna run one, two, three, four. And I am going to go ahead and attack him. - I meant to say I'm holding my action in case he comes up. - 25. - Nice. - Okay, yeah, that's... - Eight. 12 damage. - Okay. - Scoby's desert.

12 damage to the beast. Oh, shit. Why would you do that? He seems like a cool guy.

Your wolf smashes into his chest and he grabs your chest and uses your reaction to swipe at you with his This is unexpected! His wolf We're gonna fucking die. of unbridled fury.

- He's so nice, I don't understand. I don't understand either. - It's definitely gonna happen. - I think I'm on crazy pills. - 13 points of slashing damage. - Ooh, I'm gonna use stones and demons and hopefully block as much as I can. - 12. - 12 plus four.

Yeah, so you block all of that. So you're right. That's disgusting. So your skin as it makes contact, your skin kind of shifts into stone and it kind of clatters off. And with that, it is Iris' turn. I am Goliath. I, um... Holy moly, I was going to do something else, but um... What was it, features? I'm going to cast Toll the Dead on him. Okay.

Wisdom saving throw. Oh, that's right. I should know this by now. And he horribly fails. He's... Toa damaged him? Yeah. Okay, perfect. Aha! Is this a nine or a six? This is a six! Six damage. The dot is on the bottom. Just like the line would always be on the bottom.

I guess that makes sense. He kind of grabs an ear as the old gong rings in the distance. Yeah, I noticed afterwards and I was like, well, it's fine. He is going to

to look at you, Caprice, and he glares at you, his eyes flare, and you notice a kind of magical aura kind of hone in on you as he casts Hunter's Mark on you, and he is going to just dash directly in front of, or beside Herja, can you push him up?

Is he gonna pass me while he does it? No, no. No. He's gonna go there and he's gonna pass. Just go to, to, to Herrscher and no, no, not pass you. I'm gonna melee ranger. Oh, you're melee ranger? Yeah. He's just gonna go up to Herrscher then?

and he is going to gore Persia. So do we. She stood in front of me, I don't know why she did that. I don't know why you went in and talked-- That's gonna happen. You guys are just gonna ambush it. She's doing her job as an incredible shield-bearing-- You would have been in this fight five points of piercing damage. Five points of piercing damage,

And then he's gonna look at you, Caprice, and he's going to over-Ersia, bring down his poleaxe with the reach of a femfie, and make an attack on you. And that's gonna hit. I'm gonna pose disadvantage. Someone chats in goodnight, sweet prince. That's still gonna hit. 17 and 18, plus a lot. This is relevant music, too. Four, eight, plus Hunter's Mark.

- I'll add more damage, max damage. - Holy hell. - I miss him. - 14 points of slashing damage as the clock slashes near Jess over her just five foot height. - Ah, fuck!

I didn't see this coming! How could I have been so blind?! You look so... Jesus Christ. Um, I... Jesus almighty. Oh my god, Jared.

I didn't do anything! We were gonna attack him anyway! I'm gonna drop my flaming sphere, and level 2 spell, just behind him. That's a common trick, right? Correct. Surprise!

How do I lose concentration? Every time you get attacked, you need to roll concentration. And every turn you need to roll concentration. What's the DC? It's a con saving throw. And the DC is 10 or half of the damage. So you probably would have needed to roll concentration during that first fight. But I think it was only once. But you're right. I just didn't know that was how that worked. So you grab

into your coat and your hand blows a flame in the middle of a sphere of fire, a five-meter-long spin that is singeing the back of him. Okay? And that's my turn. Okay. Gris, you're up. What the fuck are you gonna do? Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! You know, you're not as nice a guy as I thought you were. Vicious mockery. So,

So it's a con saving throw? What is it? Big guy. He succeeds. He's a fucking... Yeah. We've been saving for a 14. Yeah, it's an 18. Yeah, that's me. He just flame shoots out of his nostrils as he's breathing. His putrid breath is kind of bathing you guys. Okay. Lufty, you're up.

I wish you was the most stubborn kitten. And I'm pretty sure these dog brains are not going to come out of my pants, so fuck it. And I'm going to take my spoon out and run towards them and make an attack. I understood those words, but I don't understand that sentence. Dog brains are going to come out of my ass. No, they are. Oh.

I got it because I was standing there. It was finally the chance that I got out of combat so I wouldn't get anything on my outfit and she got smattered and gone. Oh, that's right. She moved to another spot. Is that a good spot? Yeah. Hello. 23. That was very Mr. Bean. Hello. Oh, yeah, 24 heads. Hello. Hello.

I thought that was like a natural 20. Seven damage and then I'll make... Wait, your quarterstaff is not a beautiful, right? It's a d6. Oh, what's that?

- Can I use a D6? - Yep. - It's a D8, right? - No, it's a D6. - It's versatile with two hands, right? - I don't think I've been doing that correctly. - I don't know. - It's not... - I've been rolling D4 this entire time. - It should be versatile with a D8. - Or is that, is it versatile? - Versatile with a D8. - Oh, one D8 plus one, yeah. What does that mean? - You're just using two hands with your food. - Oh, you're right, it is a D8. You're right, you're right. - But then I can't take the second attack, right? - You can't do that.

The idea is you're doing core staff and you can elbow him, kick him, you can literally just use both hands and kick. Or butt, whatever you want to go. Headbutt. Okay, so six. Ooh yeah, I like that. Okay, so I'm gonna come in with the swipe. Six damage, and then I'm gonna headbutt him. Did you add a modifier to your six? Yeah, six plus your shit. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm really fucking this up. So it's ten. Ten damage from the spoon.

And then... You smack him across the face. It literally does right there, like, "Sweet darling." I know, I know it does, I'm just excited. And he looks down at you and he... And he's going to bring his poleaxe down. Oh, oh, it's the reaction. It's the reaction. Okay. So I'm gonna take it. And then it's gonna hit?

Man, I'm rolling really well, you guys. Great. Oh, wow. Except for damage rolls. So he went after he used the Reaction on me, right? Yes. Six points of slashing damage as it slices across you. Okay? Continue. Okay. So my second is 22 to hit. Hits. And that is the D4.

So that will be six damage. Six damage, okay. I will get my Nenadza. Okay. You, as soon as you elbow him in the ribs, his ribs kind of seem almost exposed. You find a weak point in there and you jab him. And he's looking pretty sturdy, though. Kershwin, you're up. I'm gonna Wail on him. Okay. Oh shit.

Oh, I forgot to take my reaction last turn. Or my thingy. Doesn't matter. I got a nat 20! Nat 20! 5... 9... 11... bludgeoning damage. 11 bludgeoning damage as your flail slams into him for 11... That's how you want to start a character. Okay. Toa, you're up.

I can't do much besides swing my totem. Keep going! That's not cocked, is it? No. No. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Holy shit. He's a big fucking dude. You know what? He's a big guy. I'm going to use my Pax Unplugged dice for this one. Yeah! Bring out the big guns. Shit.

Nice. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven demons. That's pretty good. You smash into your fallen elf on everyone's attacks. The bludgeoning damage is nuts from you guys. Monk mother plus six proficiency with spoons, flops, and hangers when dispensing. Eleven points, you said? Eleven. That's pretty good. You smack into him with your totem. Boom.

He's just growling and frothing at this point. His eyes are wild with rage. He's not even speaking in any kind of discernible language anymore. The rage is kind of overcoming him. Iris, your turn. I'm going to do my thing again with some saving throw. That's going to definitely fail. Great. Great. Four. Four. He's like...

- What's that? - What? - What he said. - You expect me to know what a goddamn JPEG is? - You wanna look like I don't know what a goddamn JPEG is? - I'm gonna kick your ass.

He is going to follow up on Toa's Maul attack with his Poleaxe.

I'm gonna pose this advantage with my reaction. Fiction! You roll even higher. Seven. Eleven points to Toa. Oh, it's still hitting? Yeah. I roll higher for the second doink. Thanks! At least you tried. And then you doink.

She's going to lean forward and try to gore herzia after she attacks that. You said it was 11 points of damage? I'm out of rages, so I take all 11 points. Dang. 19 for herzia, yep, that hits. You're out of ridges? Out of rages. Ridges. 8 points of piercing damage as one of the horns gores you. I think that's a 10. I like that west coaster.

- Yeah, yeah, that's fine. - Book smart. - Oh, so he, the monster ended its turn in the thing. So that's gonna be a dex saving throw. - 15. - You passed. - Oh, Jesus. - So take four.

- For eight points of damage? - Yep. - Just singes him a little bit on the back as his dark air is-- - So again, now I'm trying to understand, I can move the sphere to ram him to deal damage again, correct? - Is that how it works? - As a bonus action, I can move it. - Yeah, as a bonus action, you can move it. - All right, I'm gonna ram him again. So same thing, death saving tile.

- Natural 20 plus one, 21. - Dammit, so he takes another four. - Okay, another four. - And then I'm going to step one, two, three, four, five, six and firebolt him. - Okay. - Who is this? - The nerdy eel. - The nerdy eel. - 12 plus six is 18. - 18, you kind of dash off into the brush. How much, 18? - 18 to hit. - That's bad. - Seven points of damage. - Seven points of damage.

So the nerdy eel said in chat, so my manager's name is Bobby and I'm waiting for the day he fires me because my final words of employment will be goddammit Bobby. It's brilliant. It also might be the nerd eel. Oh, the nerd eel. That's going to be true. Of you. I thought it was the nerd eel. It's the nerdy eel. It could also be Fennerd's eel. Yeah, there's Fennerd. I love Fennerd.

Pleasure to meet you, Fenard. Please make an NPC named Fenard. I'm thanking you. I gave you everything. This last name needs to be... If you can't tell, it's almost 2 a.m. when you're talking. Okay, Caprice, you're up. I'm up. I run forward and I stab him with my Pokey Stick.

You draw your rapier and run up to him. - Oh yeah, no, I absolutely hit him with an eight. - You stumble forward and as you, wait, is it a successful attack I get to do this? - Oh my God.

- No, okay, it's only a successful attack. So you run off and you miss him with your rapier and he just kind of, he hocks a spit wad at your purse. I catch it in my mouth. - No! - Roll for constitution and throw a piece of this. - And then vomit everywhere. Roll for constitution and throw up everywhere.

Felix throws up everywhere! That doesn't happen. Disgusting! Look to your left.

I quit! I'm out! I'm gonna rip off my character chain! So after the head putt, I would have gone down and I'd be like, just kidding! And then I'll pop back up and double hand the thing into his face. So that would be my attack. Just kidding. That's a 12. That misses. Tits. That's a cluster.

So I will just take a bonus action. Malie attack? Well it was fucking one of yours. I'll punch him in the knee then. Oh yes! Which one? Turn this shit up. 20. It was fucking one of yours. 20? That hits.

Okay, that is six damage and then I'm gonna spend a key point and use Fury of Blows. - Fucking damn. - Six damage? - Yep. - I'm just gonna chop chop. - Yep. - You wanna see the voice? - It's a 16 and a 13. - The voice? - 16 and a what? - A 13. - 13? - 13. - We've talked about this. - 13 misses the key. - But I don't know a good voice theme song.

I swear to God. - So that's another six damage and then I will disengage and run back to Iris. - So as soon as you do that though, he's going to make his reaction to attack you. - Okay. - With his whole act as going ahead. Oh Jesus. Eight points of slashing damage as it slashes into you. Persia, you're up.

Just gonna beat on him. Gross. Yeah, super gross. Beat on me! 13. 13 misses. Fuck me! Keep going. He, uh, bashes the head of your flail away with his, uh, the, the, the handle of his, of blocks. And, uh, with that is Toa. Uh, alright, there's not much I can do. Oh, he's, yeah. What's up? No, nothing. Uh, I'm gonna save that one. Uh... Um...

I will hit him with my totem. 19. - 10? - 19. Sorry, it's just how I talk. 11. - I'm gonna do this. - Yeah, boy! - What? - Wow. - For real? - You put some serious damage on him. - Yeah. - Who hit him right before this? - Lifty. - Did you hit him in the hoof?

I punched his knee because I figured the hoof wouldn't hurt. Well, so when she punched his knee, he was like, "Eww!" In a bitthel, it's more like an "Eww!" Eww!

And that just got him low enough where I could come right down on top of him and crack down on his head and just like, obliterate his spinal cord. So, look, he managed to meet him in his knee. Right at, this is the tender part, like when you kind of stub your knees. Oh, that's smart! He doesn't say that. But he... No, so what is...

He slices you as you're running away. And he's like, he's grabbing his knee in pain. And he's so focused in that, that his head is the appropriate level for you, seven foot toe, with your massive hammer to bring it hard near loud crack and just, and then the fire goes out in his eyes and he collapses to the ground with a huge thud. - Woo! - You did it. - Don't clap for your brother.

Well, you're welcome for finishing this. I walk up to you and say, good job, buddy. I just start kicking it in the face over and over again.

I'm pretty weak. Oh, that thing I wanted to mention in the middle of Combat Hesia. You were unconscious during this, but I thought it was quite ironic that you got first blood, but you ended up being first blood. I just wanted to make sure you also... I just remembered how ironic that was. So fair point. Next time you bring me to somebody for a sacrifice... You followed me out! Well, let me finish. Next time you bring me to somebody for a sacrifice and they try to tell you that...

You know, I'm not a worthy sacrifice. You tell them this story. That you want to be sacrificed? No, that I was first and last blood. Did you tell him that she wasn't a worthy sacrifice? You're a very worthy sacrifice. Thank you, I know. It was not my... Should I have said that? Is that what I should have said? Is that what I should have said in that moment? I'm talking to a giant fucking bull man? Your flesh is inwithless. Your flesh is very nice. It's plenty.

You guys got some business to talk about. I loot the body. I see a little woman. This whole thing. They get investigated. At least he's being nice about it. You went in there by yourself. Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. To be fair, he did slide on his knees and shove his junk down your throat. Oh, is that what happened? It was a healing potion. That's how you came back to life. If he hadn't reached into his backhand...

I gotta go. This is some Pearl Harbor shit right here. I full sprint dash and throw myself, like, style into the forge. Caprice roll investigation. Yeah, it's my pleasure. I'm in the investigation, Cron 16. We need to-- we need to-- have a long rest. --get the altar, and then we need to get some rest.

Find on his person a... You find 38 gold pieces. And you find a little pouch of a strange kind of dust.

Is the altar still on fire? I'm gonna walk towards it and kind of motion to follow along. Can I investigate this body for any like unique symbols, religious symbols of any kind or any jewelry that he's wearing that stands out to me as to maybe someone who he follows? You make an investigation.

Uh, 20. And can you make a quick religion check? Four. You find on his person the etching, almost like a branding, of two particular designs on the front of his torso and the back. The front has an intricate weaving of a circular design of intricately woven, like almost labyrinthian, uh,

just kind of, uh, pathways, similar to the medallion that you found. And on the back is what seems to be a helmet in the shape of a bull's head. Kind of similar to the way this fire thing is kind of set up? Kind of similar, yeah. Is there anything I can angrily remove from him as a... You can try. He's a pretty tough guy, but you killed him, so...

How hard would a horn be to remove? You could make a... what's that, a nature check? Survival. Survival. That's wisdom right there.

17. 17. I'd say you could basically take some time to just bash off a horn. Yeah. I'm just so fucking fed up and just swearing to myself in Dwarvish, whoever can understand me, and just super frustrated. Hacking away. I'm holding one horn and just hacking the other one off. You don't get the full horn. It kind of snaps up down the middle, but it's pretty large. Toa and Felix, you walk up to the altar. Um...

What would it take for me to put out the fire in the bull head? What are you trying? I mean, I've got tons. I can cantrip over and over again, or if I need to, I have a couple of the ones of ice spells that I can use. What would you like to try? I'd want to start hitting with cantrips. Frostbite. Frostbite is more like a target creature is like getting frostbite. Okay. Then the only other option is ice knife, which explodes into ice shards. So I'll...

I'll look to Toad and say, "Alright buddy, take a step back." And I'll wind up an ice knife and try to... I back up. ...into the bull's mouth to put out the fire. Okay. So you wind up... Make an attack roll with advantage... Oh wait, no, you don't. So it's a dex save, so you... No, that one's... The ice knife is an attack roll. Oh, it is? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just make it with advantage.

17. Okay. So you pull your hand back, the blade of ice appears, you throw it into the flame, you hear a loud and the ice explodes, then immediately melting into water, you hear a loud and steam bursts as the fire is immediately extinguished and smoke billows out. And I want you to make a perception check, both of you.

Twelve. Twelve. Twelve? I would say that's enough. I would say that as the smoke and the ash appears, you see billowing of smoke, but you see figures in the smoke kind of rising up. They seem to be devilish in nature. They have small horns, small wings, but the face and small body of what seems to be children.

as they whisk up and dissipate. - Cat, cat, cat, cat. - Oh, they're saying cat, cat. - She is. Oh, while she's doing this, I'm pawing the dirt and like arching my back and just stretching. - That is dwarvish for fuck. - Oh, I didn't know that. - Did you see that in the snow? - I did. - What does it mean? - That means we're too late.

I put a lot of money on it. At least we got revenge. It's not enough. It's not enough. We need to find somewhere safe and we need to get some sleep, all of us. Let's get back to the rest of the group. I turn. Can I go up and investigate? To see if I can actually see any bones? I'll just wait at the base of the altar for him. I don't want to go up and look. Um, dude.

Sorry skills zero 14 14. I'd say it's easy enough you Find a head. Oh, by the way, there was a couch of 173 gold pieces by the way on the guy who wasn't 30 170 373 I apologize. Holy fuck. I apologize. It wasn't so 38. Uh You see on this razor

that, it's exactly how I described it, you see, you get a better look, and without the fire blazing, you're able to see that its two eyes seem to be red gemstones, cut and inlaid into this brass-looking structure. And you poke around in the ash, and you do kind of poke around and you see some bone fragments.

in the mouth of this brass structure. Can I make it like the side, like a small bone? Small bone fragments. You also kind of poke around the altar and you see another kind of doll. You see a small doll kind of tossed aside at the altar. And beneath the altar, you see fragments of a statue.

Similarly broken to the one of Lathander. You make out these features seem to be feminine. You can't really find a face though. Seems to be feathers though in there. And beside the altar you do see a strange kind of lantern sitting beside it. I pick it up. Okay. Take a look at it. Seems to be a...

It's a lantern, it's a similar coated lantern to the one you have, but definitely far more ornate. Seems to be a fine, kind of polished brass look to it. It seems to kind of have a strange sheen around the glass. That's it.

That's kind of the gist that you get, yeah. Oh, uh, duh. Also on this altar, you find on either side of the brazier a circular iron crown, circular iron crown, and at each of those, a medallion of the interwoven... And they look exactly the same as the one on the right? Exactly the same as the one on the left. I'm just going to take them. Okay. You grab a hold of them.

And so it's just, all that's left is the razor with the, to put out the smoking remnants and the gems in its eye sockets. Does the, am I done hacking off the... Yeah, I'd say, yeah, you can hack it off, you can break it off, yeah. Okay, so I put that in my pack for later, I'm probably going to clean it out and use it as a drinking horn.

You badass. But is the, uh... Is the church... Pretty beaties. Pretty beaties. Pretty beaties. Pretty just work things. How's the church lookin'? Uh, you, as you kind of turn to look, you hear *crrrr* and the smoldering kind of, uh, one of the sides of the wall kind of crashes in on, on it. As it's smoldering, the kind of fire starts to spread. As it fires, it kind of starts to engulf the structure. Can I also take the rubies out of the statue? You can try.

I attempt to do that. Okay. What tools do you have for that? What are you going to use? Let me consult my equipment. Can I walk over to where he is and also inspect the area? I would say either javelin or a shovel, depending on how big they are. We'll say a jovel. They're pretty big, so we'll say maybe you do a jovel. A shovel. A shovel. And just make a dex shovel. A double shovel. 23. 23. You manage to... It takes you a bit, but you manage...

And you get both of, like, large gems. You're able to go make an investigation check. Nope. That's a natural one. You kind of just see Toa. He seems to have been, he's collected most of the stuff, and you see basically what he saw. I was going to lend you a hand. I've got some smithing tools and stuff, but it looks like you got it. I got it. Just all I needed was my shovel. Thank you. If it just nears everything they say, it'd sound like innuendo now.

I'm not attempting it, but... I was gonna give you a hand, but I've got my juggle. Alright. Well, what did you guys discover? It's not good. Looks like you put out the fire. It sounds like that's good, right? No? Well, it... There was... This was a lot of smoke, and amongst the smoke we saw...

That's terrible.

I found a large amount of gold. Sorry, this is very important and serious what you're saying. However, everyone enjoys the benefit of... No, no, no, Dom, do you realize what you're saying? He's coming to Tim's with the fact that his brother maybe did. I'm giving him 28 gold and I'm asking him what his brother's name is. What's your brother's name? You can fuck right off. I walk away.

Okay. He's been looking for his brother for a long time. He's very sensitive. I appreciate that. You're gonna bring up money and pay him off? I'm not paying him. It's not a matter of paying somebody off. It's just you guys helped undo the damage I did. I was trying to do right by that. How much money do we get? I appreciate that.

I think that it may be the issue that you had when you were talking to the strange bull man that you don't quite know when to say certain things and that maybe that was not the right moment to bring up the goal. I apologize. Now that's fair. I thought we were all just sharing what we had done. And I jumped in and it was so untimely. I'm sorry. You know, I'll make it up to him. I'll give him the other 28 gold. It's fine.

Sweetheart, I don't necessarily think that giving him more gold is going to fix the problem. I think maybe at some point trying to align with him and speak to him on a personal level is probably going to get you a lot farther.

I think that you're 100% right about that. I will keep my gold and I will... Yeah, I'm really bored now. Um, Lufty? Yes, dear? Do you want to play patty cake? No, this has been a really rough trip. Do you know how to play it? No. I'm going to lean like this and you're going to rub my back until I fall asleep. Oh, like...

No, no, no, I'll show you. And I show her how to give me a really good massage, and then I just let her do that. Oh! This is fun! I know, it's the best game ever. What best friends do. From a distance away, I yell, "Tam! Come on, we gotta go!" I silently follow up to him. I run over to Fjord. So is everybody coming along with us? Yeah, we're following.

I hear him shouting and I just go up the hill after him. Can you walk and play patty cake at the same time? I betcha I could. Oh, fabulous. You're starting to sound like her, though. So, I'm going to Felix. I'm really sorry. It's alright. I think that this... You don't know that your brother met the same fate, though. I mean, to be fair, it's not entirely certain. You're right, but I don't have much hope at this point. My...

My goal right now is to find answers and try to expose this whole thing. I don't even know where to begin, but we need to find safety. We need to find safety and rest. Tensions are high and we just need to get out of these woods. I walk up the hill and I hear you guys talking and I stop and I say, "Hey, I meant to say it earlier, but Caprice interrupted us, but my dad's missing too and I'm really sorry about your brother, but

You gotta, you can't give up on him. Until you see his dead body, which I hope you never see, you gotta stay there for him. You gotta stick in there. Just like I am for Pop. So don't let, you know, his words get you down. We're both looking for our lost family and I'll help you find them. I appreciate that.

And as I said to Toa, I think the best thing we can do for now is try to get to the bottom of all this. If it's too late for my brother, then we'll expose this whole thing and hopefully get justice. I don't think it is. I think he's probably still out there. Just like you. Thank you. Sure.

You betcha. At this point I imagine that Luffy and I would come up and... After your massage is over. No, no, it's still happening. I completely agree with what she said. If he's anything as strong as you are, darling, then I'm just a little bit hot on my lower back. I believe that he's probably just fine. Thanks, I guess. You know what?

Now what he was trying to say earlier is that he found quite a bit of gold and he was splitting it fairly, I believe, amongst all of us. That's fine. I don't care so much about treasures. I just need enough to get by. But it may help us kind of in our mission in the future. That's fine. You should take it. I understand. Thank you. I apologize for my outburst. It was...

things have been a little rough. No, I was really stepping on your toes there. I didn't pick up on what you were doing and it was more of a thank you for taking down the huge beast that I failed to persuade. And I persuaded y'all in order to get me where I was going with the...

I think you get what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks. Caprice, one thing that you need to get that we're saying is that I think going forward we need to come to an agreement that you can't, you've got to think maybe not just twice, think about it again, and then think about it some more, and then pause.

Ask yourself again if that's okay. Think about what we may be thinking about. We had that whole conversation. Everyone agreed that it was cool that I go out there. No, I think you panicked and ran down the hill by yourself and were like, okay, bye. To go talk to the bull man? I'm talking about every decision you've made up until this point. I don't think that I've acted rashly at all. That's crazy.

You have not acted rationally at all? Rationally. Oh, I thought you said rationally. I was going to say correct. I agree. No, I'm just saying, I think, like, I mean, I did not know about your scroll thing-ma-jig, and I've been completely honest with you up until this point. So when you whipped out this, I don't know what the fuck is on that piece of paper, and you're talking to this thing in a different language, and he's pointing at me, I'm nodding like, okay, I probably should keep my mouth shut.

because that's typically not been going well for us. That was a scary situation for sure, yeah. Okay, but you know, you gotta, we gotta think about this stuff maybe together as a group more carefully next time. Well after we've had a nice rest I'm happy to share, absolutely.

Okay, because that weirds me the fuck out, whatever you pulled out of there, and it was something about whatever in a different language that you were speaking. Like, that was really strange. Well, it's infernal. I was literally born knowing how to speak it. You did not look comfortable talking to that guy.

speak in your language that you were born speaking. Let me tell you, when I speak Dwarvish, I feel pretty freaking good about speaking Dwarvish. You was a pretty tough audience, let me tell you. Well, yeah, but you were gonna do it by yourself. Uh, so that was the plan? I didn't know you were right behind me until the guy pointed. I wasn't gonna let you go there out by yourself either, get your fucking neck skinned, are you crazy?

If he'd pointed at nothing and been like, "Who's your sacrifice?" I could have been like, "Hold on, I'll be right back." You know what's important is that we're both very tired. Let's make our way, let's make camp again, and we can talk about it in the morning. What do you say? Why don't we just find one of these buildings that stops moldering and make a...

I'm with the cat here. I feel like we could just go up to a bedroom and... In addition to hers' incredible weapon, I do have the ability to set up a perimeter, an alert perimeter. Oh, that would be lovely. I have absolutely nothing to assist you with at all. I can give me ten minutes and I can take care of it. My only other thought on that front is...

I mean, there's all this fire, right? So all these people in the 10, 15, 30 mile radius are going to see a smokestack coming out of this village. Do we want to be here when the authority arrives? We should create some distance. We shouldn't stay here and

essentially the burning smolders of the wreckage. - I'm basically the walking dead right now, but if we just walk an additional like mile away, you know, to spend another-- - It won't take long. - Yeah, it's a 20, 20, 25 minute walk. Let's just make it happen. - Do you guys think we should maybe head back and check on Amand? 'Cause he was waiting for us outside the city. I mean, I went to ask Rosalina if she knew who Amand was.

And maybe they knew each other and they could reconnect and maybe he could help her with her daughter. That seems like the thing. I mean, we have an excuse for being where our original campsite was. It was like we were never here. Yeah, so should I go get Rosalina and maybe bring her to Eamon? Let's all go. You know, I was thinking like maybe you should think about what you're saying and then think about it twice and then like stop yourself and ask what we think and then think about it again. That's why I'm talking to the Gru. Great.

My voice isn't doing this weird vibration thing. It's like a good friend of mine said, life needs things to live. I don't know. We've got Rosalina in the room. I don't know if she's moved at all since her, you know, found out her daughter was dead. But, you know, we've got Eamon waiting outside the city with my javelin. I'd like that back if I could get it.

It's not a big deal. But it would be great if I could get it back. And, you know, we still got that campsite. We can just light that baby on up and we'll be smoking again. You're my spirit animal. We can not say light that baby up given the circumstances. Yeah, it's a little bit of a touchy topic right now. Maybe especially not in front of Rosalina given...

That's a fair point. I was trying to say something cool, like... And to be fair, we haven't gone down an entire wing of the city. Who knows what could be lurking down there? No, I'm absolutely not going down that wing of the city. I'm totally spinning. I think I've seen enough of this. Staying in town would be very dangerous, not knowing what else could possibly be here. We should get the hell out of here. We could also come back when it's light. Right. I think that that's fair.

Okay, so maybe we should go back to our campsite. Yeah, I agree. So let's double back. Let's make haste. Okay. What time is it now? It's four o'clock in the morning. Yeah, it's late. It's well after midnight. I'm sleeping in, baby. And so you make your way back through the town. You get back to the storehouse and Rosalina and Omar are gone.

Well, I can only hope that she took my advice and she's trying to find someone to help the daughter. In the short rest, I'll say you examine kind of the strange things that you had. So the items that you picked up are one, use of dust of sneezing and choking. Mm.

Caprice, I think you have that. You also have an oil of slipperiness. I knew it. Yeah, I didn't think that that was a perk. Matthias does that shit all the time. And then one lantern of revealing. I was just hoping it was Edelwood oil. The lantern of revealing. I thought that's where that was going. She said special lantern, and then I was like... Oil of slipperiness and dust of smoothing and choking. It's actually coconut oil of ever. Of choking.

I mean, for some people, never mind. You, as-- As you walk through the town, a lot of the buildings have caught more on fire. Most of them have collapsed. Some of them have stopped burning completely. It was just the smoldering from all the wreckage. It's really just the foundation left. As you leave the bodies of these strange, monstrous creatures, you head out of Miss Crow's Crossing.

and you get back towards the fork in the road and you see Eamon laying down, kind of holding the javelin close to him. He's perched up against a tree, his eyes are closed, and he's kind of moaning in himself

And as you approach, you see he looks a little bit different in that he has just this thick, coarse black hair. Oh, son of a-- Shit. All over his arms and face, and that's where we'll end the session. Oh, god. Holy shit.

Well, I may or may not have armed a werewolf with a javelin and didn't think about it, so I'm sorry. Werewolves don't use javelins. Werewolf with a javelin is my new band name.

Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud of Ersalmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash legendsofavantris. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avantris community, join us on Discord at legendsofavantris.com forward slash discord.

We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at legendsofavantress.com forward slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5e supplement published by us. Get your own copy at thecrookedmoon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.