Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 15 | Beast in the Machine: Part 1
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I am High General Virgil Zurn, and you are listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here is what happened last time. You must also face those that were unable to be masters of their own fate. Put them to rest, and you will complete the challenge. As soon as you all see this creature dissipate, the cold of winter is gone.

the room returns to normal. You are proudly beneath my shadows. And all of a sudden you feel this warmth, this blessing come over you. I believe it will not be difficult to arrange a meeting with you.

and general parodies of our ship. I would suggest using any inside knowledge that you have, any contacts that you have, to try to start spreading the word safely, but keep yourself safe. Good luck, and I hope you convince them. Thank you. Thank you. Takari has said...

That you had some very important information that he himself couldn't even tell me. There's a huge legion of horned beasts that are literally marching on Ventra. I will speak to the High General. He will stand outside if I need to. Oh, okay. He wants to speak with you. He just looks sternly at you.

One at a time. You hear the door creak open. I'm in the middle as he seems to be completely paralyzed as the door flies open. You see blood pooling at the floor. Allow me to show you the gift that I've been blessed with. His hair grows out of his skin. It's rippling muscles. Huge

Country roads, country roads, country roads.

The blood is pouring out of his ears! As you bring your mole down and smash in his skull. And he looks all of you for a feather. It was thanks to you I am still alive. Hi, General. I don't mean to be so presumptuous, but that seemed like he was completely unprepared for this. While the enemy moshes.

and knocks on our doorstep. The army of Zentra will stay silent no longer. The army of Zentra marches to war. - The throne of High General Virgil Zurn stands behind you, splattered with blood, ichor-like, demonic, horrifying. At your feet are the corpses of two demons,

and the slain transformed figure of Diamante Cujada. Xurn had just told you that the Korvacian military would not remain still any longer and was about to march to war. You look out. The door heading out to the long hallway is now pooling with a thick sheet of blood where all of the other soldiers and guards seem to have been slain. Arms and legs, a single head appearing from beyond the door.

where it seemed like it was a very quick struggle leading to their deaths. As Xurn crouches down, his greatsword now sheathed behind his back, his one good arm leaning down to poke through the body of Kujata, you all standing around him watching the most powerful man in the entire country, maybe the entire continent, pick through his would-be assassin. What are you guys doing?

Toa, Toa, are you alright? Yeah, are you alright? Yeah, I had never used that spell before and I just wanted to make sure that it was okay. I'm a little exhausted and I feel kind of wired. I don't know how it feels, but in the moment it was incredible. Thank you for protecting us.

If we could just every time from now on you just do that I can kill everybody I think. Not that I want to kill everybody but if I have to kill everybody anyway just... You got it buddy. It was good. I needed a rest. In the midst of all of that I had a horrible nightmare of a crystal ball with two five zero zero slightly off centre.

Well now Fjord is in a big mess. You upset producer Rick! Come on! We're done! We're getting it! Stream's over guys, thanks for coming out. That's it, that's it. That's it, that's it, that's where we end the session. Uh, yeah, yes, so I'm going to take a race. I'm still learning tricks, but I'm glad that it worked, I'm glad that it worked. Okay, just, it's a bit exhausting, but...

It worked. It worked. And I want to just find one of the chairs that was up against the broken meeting table and just take kind of take a breather.

I'm going to see that everyone is calming down and see that Zurn is examining the first body. I'm going to walk towards the entrance of this room and look into the hallway. I'm trying to get a sense of where Portia might be or anybody else that might be important not just outside or if there are additional coming enemies. I would follow with him. Okay. Both of you join together.

and your footsteps echo through the smooth stone and metal walls of this room and the hallway. As you look out into the hall, you see on either side

Six total guards, heavily armored, you had believed to be very powerful, slain at your feet. They seem to have just been torn apart, huge slashes and stab wounds all over their bodies. However, as you poke through, you do not see Portia.

You know that she had immediately left to go back to somewhere else, at the very least. Well, it's a little bit of a relief. I was looking for Portia out here, but I don't see her. Maybe she survived the onslaught. I do hope that she did, though she didn't leave that much later than it started. I don't know how she could have gotten so far away from...

The attack. Maybe she's got the same shaboop into invisible like I do. What? Maybe she can hide herself or use magical means of transport, that kind of thing. Oh, yes, that makes a ton of sense. I'm sorry. Who's Lancelot? Oh my god, where did you come from? Hey, how's it going, Herja? I'm Capriccio, and if that's not what's that? Oh, hey, I'm Herja, and I'm Herja. Nice to meet you all. How did we not hear you coming with all of that clanky business on?

So who's Lancelot? Lancelot? I heard you say Lancelot. Did I say Lancelot? Did he say Lancelot? Where the hell have you come from? I've been here the whole time. We've all been here the whole time. The two of us left down in the hallway. I'm not here. I was very confused. I'm sorry. That's what it's like. Where the hell did you hear that? I didn't say that at all. I'm just being retired. What the fuck?

You said "onsalat" so I was trying to make that funny. Oh, wow. I missed it. It's fine. Even for Caprice. Oh yeah, I said "onsalat." Okay. So there's no "ansalat"? No, but maybe we can find it in "ossalat."

Is it like a monkey sloth type animal? Not from where I'm from, no. Oh. I just nudge one of the dead bodies just to see if it's alive. They just walk the streets in Galtica. I'm going to make up lore for Mikey.

That's a good way to get rocks falling. It's the fastest way. I slip on the blood and go down all the stairs. There are tons of ocelots there. They're ocelot kin? Ocelot kin, sure, sure. I want to look around the office. Is there any, like, a decanter? I don't know if it's that style of a place. Would he have, like, a...

You see that there is, off to the side, there is a shattered pitcher of water that was on the ground. Useless. You get the sense that High General Zurn is not the kind of person that would welcome alcohol consumption in Zurn.

a place of business like this. I'm going to turn to, is he just still like jamming the body? He's going through with his one hand. So he's being very careful every single moment. He's, uh, you see him leaning down. His, uh, long, his long gray hair is still perfectly in place as is the rest of his outfit. As he is, uh, leaning down and very carefully, uh,

pulling out some of the hairs and going over and he's holding his nose, holding a handkerchief up as he goes to the foul-smelling dog humans. I'm going to turn to Toa and say, all right, buddy. If this is it for me, then tell everyone I said thank you and tell Revali I said thanks and the others. I appreciate it. Why would this be it for you? I start to walk away and I turn to High General Zurn and I say, High General Zurn, sir. Permission to speak, sir. He

He seems, his eyes are very focused on this creature and his eyes are narrow, especially lingering on Kujata. And as soon as he hears that, he immediately heaves up his huge form, towering over you and turns and his legs snap together. And he peers down his pointed nose at you and he says,

You have permission to speak. You saved my life. Hey, um, Felix is shaking a little bit and he says, ah, yeah, thank you, sir. Um, I need to discuss with you things that are happening in the military that you may not be aware of now that we've brought this to your attention. More things that I may not be aware of? I don't mean to be presumptuous, but it's very important. I know that I don't look it, but I'm an ex-member of the Talon Guard and I can prove it.

A Talon guard here with all these outsiders. Well, I... and I say this knowing full well that I may take the full brunt of the consequences, but I went AWOL. A deserter? Yes, unfortunately. He steps a few more paces. I stand up. Very... I don't move at all, but I'm standing up. He keeps an eye on you. The only person in the room that's taller than he is. As his eyes dart to you very quickly, and they dart back. You're almost like watching a...

a bird of prey, kind of surveying the scene. As his eyes shoot up to you and then shoot back down to you, shoot back to you, Felix, as he takes two very measured steps, not aggressive, but careful and firm. However, you abandoned your comrades and you committed treason to the army, yet here you stand. That's correct, sir. Showing your patriotism to save the leader of this country.

I'm trying to make things right, sir. You must have had a reason for defecting. It's a rather long story, but yes, sir. I assume all of you have a very long story to tell. That is why I assume you must know that you cannot be walking around the streets of Zentra unaccompanied. Young man. Yes, sir. Felix. You will tell me what it was that caused you to defect. You may tell me now, or you may tell me when you are all questioned.

Later. I prefer to tell you as soon as possible, sir, especially if there are other people going to be questioning us. I'd rather you hear it from me. He... He nods for a moment and thinks. And he looks out of the door and he raises up a long finger. Just one moment. And you see him raise up his hand and you recall seeing...

There was a bird that had been sitting on his throne. Huge black raven with six red eyes. He calls it over and it flaps down wordlessly and it lands on his hand and he leans in and whispers something to her. He raises his hand and it flies out of the room at a very chaotic pace. I have told my pet to inform someone I believe I can trust. We have time now.

You'll help me close the door, please, so we have privacy. I'll come back in and with Iris and her just help close the door. It should be reasonable for us, I assume. Pull up a chair and he strides over to his throne and he sits down. It's several steps up, polished slate, rivets in metal, very simple but elegant design.

and he sits there expectantly as he points at you and says, "Come forward Felix, and tell me what you know." Yes sir, yes sir, absolutely.

I was a member of the Talon Guard for a while. I'm from a no-name village that's really not so important at the moment, but I worked very, very hard to get where I was. I wanted to be a member of the Talon Guard Wizard very badly. I was able to succeed and get to where I thought I always wanted to be. And while under the command of Commander Ludwig Augustus, we had been given several different outposts and missions.

uh, hunting and slaying wherever there was beast plague. We were sent to different villages wherever it looked like beast plague was starting to show and we would... I'm not proud of this and this is what ultimately led me to defect is that we were rounding up civilians and livestock and slaughtering them wholesale. We were trying to prevent, or what I thought was prevent the spread of this beast plague.

And it was horrible, gruesome, absolutely atrocious and unforgivable. And we continued to do this and I did it unquestioningly, believing that I was doing the right thing for all of Corvacchia and all of Striga. Until one night, Commander Ludwig Augustus was talking to someone in his tent, an absolutely huge man.

and they had a man who was in an iron cage and I don't know what I was doing by the tent but something about it just seemed off and the man who was in the iron cage even though he looked like he had beast plague it was nothing but an illusion

And at that moment, I believe that we were slaughtering these villages for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The whole thing seemed like a lie. And each and every single village that we decimated and burnt to the ground, the children, all of them, were taken. My younger brother included, and I don't know what was happening to these children. And I must find them. I must find my brother, and I have to fix the wrongs that I've done. Make a persuasion check at advantage.

Use a twist of fate. Ten. Ten, okay. He... You might have an inspiration from, I don't know if you tracked that, but from the fight, I don't know if I give you... If you have our inspiration, yeah. I have used all five, so I know lots of people in the room probably still have it. I don't have it written down. All right. I would have thought that I did. Don't worry about it. So his eyes narrow and he listens.

You can tell that every single word that you're saying is being registered, but he has a complete poker face as he listens. He has his chin in his hand and he pauses and then extends a large hand and says, "Produce your blade if you are truly of the Talon God." I pull into my jacket and I unsheathe it and I hold it out. I'm still gripping it, but I'm holding it out. Felix Ackerman, "May I see?"

I drop the blade into his hand. Was that on purpose? He clutches it. What was on purpose? Him saying my last name. Okay, I immediately turn over the blade. He grips it. I'm like Ghost White at this point. You tell the truth. You have the proof.

He flips it around and grabs it by the blade and hands it back to you. Thank you, sir. And I sheath it in my jacket. You're very lucky, boy. I was told of defectors here and there. However, one name came to my ear as one of express treachery. The name of Felix Ackerman. He must be hunted down and was using cloaking magic to not be scryed upon. Yes, sir. However, they were, and to your good fortune...

Gross. As... WHAT?!

Nice. That was great. He seems to be lost in thought as he focuses again. The entire division of secrets is compromised. Who fought? Kujata has made a fool of all of us, and I thank all of you. Felix, I appreciate your honesty with me and your forthcomingness. Yes, sir. I wish...

I could set you free and let you loose back to what you were doing, but these are dire times and I cannot do that. I will tell you what I will do. Wherever you have been staying, I will send you escorted to gather your effects, say your goodbyes to whom you need to, and then you'll return here. You will all be questioned about what you have seen. There will be magic involved, but it should be painless should there be no reason to question

your intentions. Should time permit, you will enjoy a meal with me. We can discuss at length. I will have you know, however, that war is coming to Zentra. You are the ones who have told me, and you are going to see it first hand. But enough discussion until I can be 1000% certain that every one of you is trustworthy. But you're going to fight the war, right? I'm going to crush

Those beasts, like the animals that they are, they have no idea what they have done. Kujata was a fool to think he could hatch a plan as half-baked as that. Please let me know how I can help in any way. I just want to make sure that everyone in the city is safe. I don't know what I can do. I'm just one person, but please let me know how I can help.

Yeah, we're all in this together. I mean, we don't... I love cities myself. I'd be more than happy to... I mean, if you're totally convinced that this war is going, you need to talk to the news folk and get the word out because we're the only people in this room who seem to know what's going on. It seems to be the situation. I think he's in jail. My eyes... My eyes have proven to be untrustworthy to the point...

I must rely on strangers and outsiders and defectors. What a turn of events that even I could not see. The magic is powerful. Devils and demons, whatever they want. It will be a brutal conflict, and I hope you are ready for it. As soon as he says that, you hear loud footsteps of many, many, many, many pairs of feet echoing from the hallway beyond you, from behind the door.

and the door knocks. Come in and you see a row of soldiers standing at the ready. They immediately salute. Give me one moment. All of you, I trust you will not resist your escort? - No, sir. - No, sir. - We're thankful for it, to be honest. - Yes, they will escort you to where you need to go.

Then you will be returned here. We will discuss further, as I must call a meeting. But rest assured, the army of Zentra mobilizes. I will talk to you soon. And he extends a hand towards the soldiers that are standing at the ready.

One last thought before I go. You only got where you got because you're very, very, very, very, very, very, very good. And I don't want to step on your toes. I just want to make this one tiny little suggestion. I don't think very many people know that old Sicarius over there is dead. If you could have one of your guys just sort of disguise themselves as that person, then that might be a pretty clever deception. Just thought I'd plant that seed and I'll be on my way. Thank you. Not Sicarius. You mean Kajada? Kajada. Kajada. Sorry.

When the time is right, they will know that he's dead. They will know that he died, and they will know that his followers and his acolytes and his schemers died far, far, far worse than he did when the time is right. But none of you are to breathe a word of any of this outside of this hittitale. Do you understand? Yes, sir. Minor illusion zipper again. Very well. I'll see you back here later this evening.

Okay. Lufty's just gonna give like a really like sloppy but not right salute. Yeah, two fingers. So, you are, unless there's anything else anyone wants to do or say before that happens, you all join a procession of soldiers. There are 12 of them in total that fully flank you, two for each of you.

As you are led through the various stories and layers of the Citadel all the way back down to the outside level. You're then led in the street as you're making your way through you hear the very hurried steps of soldiers and officers. And there doesn't seem to be panic.

However, as individuals are walking by, their attempts at composure, some are better than others, as some seem to be incredibly worried. As you make your way outside, down through the streets, you hear the cacophonous croak of the ravens that fly and swarm around the Citadel. As they take you to the gate that connects to the Seven Heavens, you are escorted through.

And the soldiers that you're used to being at these checkpoints don't even question, as these soldiers seem to have a special emblem that denotes that they are of a very, very high personal rank and connection to Zurn. As you're led through the streets, there seems to be a bit of fear.

as the poor folk of the Seven Heavens are probably not used to this level of military presence as you're familiar with it being the least patrolled of all of them. And you are guided through the winding streets until, I guess, I don't know, where are you guys telling them that you're headed? We're staying somewhere. You're staying at the Queen Bee. The Queen Bee.

We don't want to go back there. But we didn't stay there last night, though, right? We stayed in a different house. No, we stayed at the Queen Bee last night. Because we stayed... They had like a gift shop, I remember that, with the different religious stuff. Yeah, we stayed in a different place. Oh, right. That's where we would go back to because we had all the stuff with us. The Queen Bee was the name of the brothel.

Yeah, no, we stayed in a literal motel hotel place. Bahamut's Rest or something like that. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's where we stayed. So, I mean, I assume that's where most of our things are. All of them. We already said goodbye to everybody at the

So, here I'm gonna move some of this. That's fortunate. Let's go back to the Four Winds. Right. So, yeah, we were staying here. So, when I said Seven Heavens, I actually meant... I actually meant... Where was it? It was... Four Winds. Floxroost. Oh, you're right. Floxroost. I don't know why I'm saying that. So, you are led to Floxroost. This seems to be a bit more of a commonplace...

as these high-ranking soldiers flank you. And you hear the tolling of bells in the various churches and chapels as you make your way through, and you're eventually guided to the familiar inn that you've been staying at called New Bahama. And as you are ushered inside, the...

soldiers all begin to flank the walls. Several watch the perimeter and you seem to be pretty much heavily locked down in this place. However, one of the female soldiers walks up to you and says, "You are not going to be rushed, but please do not dally. We will be here. The High General awaits."

Discuss what you need to, this may be your last chance. And they let you go to your rooms to gather your effects and maybe discuss whatever you guys are discussing. I don't have much of anything, so I can be ready pretty quickly. We should probably get in touch with Ravioli. Oh yes! Where is he? I'm sure he's doing whatever he needs to do, whether that be reconnaissance or something. I can try to leave him a message, but to be honest, I don't remember the last time we saw him.

Out of character. We saw him, he met us in the inn, in the tavern at the New Bahamut. I can leave a message. Because you left that note back at the brothel. Okay, I can leave another message for him and hope for the best, but that may have been the last time that we see him.

Possibly. I mean, I don't know of any other way. I can't communicate with him magically or anything. We do have the eagle pressie. I just, I don't want to alert him unless it's... No, no, I agree. It's for emergencies, right? Agreed, agreed. I will leave him a message. Another encrypted message that only he or other people with the proper knowledge would be able to decode. That seems very reasonable, but where are you going to leave it? How long do we have...

It's invisible, right? There's a lot of things that it can be, yes. If it can be on parchment, then you can put the message on one side, and then we could write like,

Dear from Grandma, like some silly message on one side, but maybe you would be smart enough to... I'll figure out a way to leave him a message here, but we should also just see if we can get a courier to send a message to the Queen Bee. And I will make sure that both are encrypted and protected. Is it 100% necessary that we get him the message immediately? Because if we could wait until the morning, then I can prepare a spell to send one to him.

From my mind to his. Either way, that works as well. It's probably a better idea. We don't want to just... If he never sees the piece of paper and we just... Pips will be lost. He won't know what happened to us. After the questioning, maybe we can ask for some level of protection for friends like Revali. And out of character... He'll say what we have to say. Have you told me your last name? I hadn't told anybody my last name. Not even me, right? Not even you. Okay, I'll use that as a... Rich will remember this.

I think that's a great idea. I don't know if he's the kind of person who would want any kind of protection, but at the very least we should let Iris alert him. It's more direct than any method that I have. You don't think he'll be worried if we don't say anything today? I don't think he is emotionally attached to any of us, to be quite honest. And he trusts us. And I do believe that he feels that we are capable of handling whichever situation we get ourselves into.

I'm mostly concerned that he's gonna get himself into a situation when we might have been able to help if we'd gotten the word out. He's trying to fight this not knowing that the winds of war are starting to blow in a different direction. I want to look around to see if he's like here in his like Strider style get up in the corner. So you are in the room. He walks out, I'm here. You're in the room, right? Yes. Yeah. I want to go back down and see. So you make your way down the...

down around the main room of this tavern. And you scan, and all of the patrons seem to have been cleared out by this, and there's only really just the one Dragonborn innkeeper that's left. Everyone's very, very, very uneasy by the heavy military presence here. Okay. I'll go back up. I will remind everyone, as the Dungeon Master, that you all received the Wondrous Figurine of the Raven.

If only there was a way we would be able to communicate with Revali, I can't think of a thing. Let me read what that does real quick. But if you don't know where he is, can the bird find it? I don't know. That's why I like Nikki's idea. I don't think waiting 12 hours will really be a big issue for someone out of character, but that's just me. I mean, you are free to do what you'd like. Meta? I don't even know her. Let's see. I've said what I have. Capriza's at peace. Um...

Well, I've got all my things. Are we taking a short rest? Is that what we've enjoyed during our packing? We should probably also talk about what we do and don't want to say.

Oh, that's very smart. No, I think that we are completely honest. You will be slaughtered if you lie to them. I'm not planning to lie to them, but I also don't know if we want to tell them about what we witnessed at the lodge. I don't think it's a situation in which we provide information as much as it is that they are going to ask us questions and we answer them.

It sounded more like an interrogation than a... What is it? The bit where people get together and they talk to each other, like common folk? Speed dating. A party. One? Like a cookout? A barbecue? Sure, yes. One of those undignified things. BBQ?

I do agree with her, though. We want to keep what we learned underneath the lodge as much of a... We were sworn to secrecy about that, so it would be silly for us to bring that up. But if they start asking, then... We will answer with truth, and we will keep things under our supervision. I'm of the opinion that we should agree on the ladder. I don't like that word. I think that there is a very high chance that they have ways of knowing things that we would never expect them to know.

and they will know for sure whether or not we're telling the truth. All I'm saying is we can talk about being at the lodge, that we were there, that the attack happened. We do not, however, need to be mentioning their secret order or what they're trying to protect. That is not our business to divulge. And in those moments, we can say, that is not my information to provide. If they know about the seal and the secret society and they start asking questions about it,

I advise, though, we take what you said and be honest. I don't think that it's worth our lives to try to protect some secret order that we're not a part of. I just, I won't be surprised if they know things that we can't even imagine how they would figure out. Can I ask a question? How many eyes did that gigantic bird raven demon have that attacked us?

I counted, uh, a three on one side. I'm assuming the other side has another three. Is that right, Mike? Was that? Did the gigantic bird... The gigantic bird monster that attacked us in the lodge, did it have six eyes? I believe it did.

So is it a bit weird or maybe that's just a coincidence where birds normally have six eyes? I've never seen a six-eyed bird, but you guys are from here. Have you seen lots of six-eyed birds? We just saw a six-eyed bird. That's what I mean. It's literally the first real six-eyed bird. This is my exact point. A six-eyed bird was one of the things that attacked the outpost there.

and we are dealing with the six eyes of the raven i do not think that this is not related and i do think that we need to be mum about information we do not need to provide we will answer the questions that they ask honestly and if they ask us a question like about what happened in that lodge we tell them that is not our information to provide that is not our secret

It sounds like we could be put in some pain or possibly killed if we withhold information, and honestly, I'd rather keep my life. If Anubis wills that my life is forfeit for that information, then I will allow it to be taken. I do as my god wishes, and in this case, that is not my information to give. I'll try it. We swore that we would not tell anyone about what happened.

That's fair, and again, I don't think we need to bring it up, at least at this point. I don't want to lie at all. I don't think we should lie. If we race the bear, I'm going to tell the truth. We already know that the military here is compromised. We cannot risk that information getting to someone who does not need it. Someone who may be connected to the attack that happened there. We could be doing significantly more harm than good by speaking about that situation. I agree. We don't lie. There's no wrong in the truth.

But sometimes you do need to look someone in the eyes, someone you're afraid of, Felix, and tell them, I cannot speak on this. It's not about fear. And I'm telling you now that I will not withhold any information at last. And I think that's fine. I'm not going to lie at all. I'm not going to intentionally say... I will not use the words that this is not my information to... I will tell. Well, but I think that we don't... I will not be accompanying you. If they don't question us...

If they don't question us about it, they don't say anything. I cannot travel with those that are not going to be honest.

Because we told that man at the lodge that we would not be divulging his secret to anyone. I agree. And if we are then going to immediately walk into the next town that we see, and we are going to let someone tell us that we will do what they say, and we will tell them everything, and we are so quick to say, that promise that I made that other man is not worth a damn, then I can't trust a single one of you. And Felix, I think we can go into this. Just don't mention it.

They know we're going to bring it up. But I'm not going to withhold information, Dad. And again, I think if they ask us about it, then they already know something. They're going to be using magic to know if we're lying anyway. Just because they know something does not mean they're supposed to. Obviously, the people that attacked that lodge knew something when they weren't supposed to. That's right. I'm just saying that...

If they ask us about it, we can't lie to them. They'll know if we lie. And I'm not saying we lie. I'm saying we tell them we cannot provide the information they're asking. Yes, we know something about it. I will not give it to you. It is not my information to give. I will answer all of your other questions, but something that I've promised. I'm proving to you that I'm an honest person, and that means if I have said I will withhold this secret to somebody else, it would make me a dishonest person to tell it to you. Therefore, I would be proving to you that I am not trustworthy.

And I will not do it. I mean, the six odd birds, it kind of, it's a weird coincidence, don't you think? All I am saying is that I expect so much more from all of you than dishonesty. I agree. It would not be honourable to... Except for maybe Lufthu, then. It would not be honourable to... Drop that down, mate. For them to risk their entire life's purpose, not just their life's purpose, their whole life's purpose. These people have been protecting these seals for millennia, we could presume.

For us to just walk to the government and if they ask us about it, we just blab all the information, then it's out there. What if Kujata was behind the attack? It could be. I don't know. It just seems too unrelated to me. Though Kujata may be dead, it does not mean that everyone else that is involved is not dead. It also does not mean that that was not a plant. If you think that whatever they're planning on doing was ruined today...

You are narrow-minded. That's why I think it's important that the High General has the information if asked. It's your choice. You can choose to do whatever you like. But I'm certainly not going to risk my life before I have found my brother and what happened to those children. And that's it. There's no agreed upon line. I'm not holding anything back. I believe exactly like you said that that attack is exactly related.

And that's why I believe that there should not be omission. There should not be omission. If I'm not asked, I will not give up the information. But if asked, I will. I made no promises to anyone. And now that we know that Kujato is behind all this, it may be more pertinent to any time. You were there with us when we all promised we were not going to spread their tale to anyone. Out of character, I don't remember promising anything.

I don't recall. I mean, I believe that everyone had sworn... You guys... Yeah, I think that you had... You had sworn secrecy. Yeah. You had all sworn secrecy to...

To Holmhart. I know that I swore. Like an actual pledge, right? If that's the case, I don't remember that. I believe that in order for him to discuss what he was talking about, you had all said that you were going to make sure that you protected the Order and it was very important and that the whole fate of the business... Alright, then I retract what I said. But if asked...

I retract what I said. It's a scary proposition, not just because... I don't intend to talk about it. I mean, we're talking about the major things that are happening here. I don't know if what we learned at the launch is even going to come up or be connected to any of these details. The point I'm trying to make is that if you're compelled magically, there's no... I just gave my word. But in that case, there's nothing you can do about it. I'm not saying if you're compelled magically that you should fall on your own sort.

That's nothing that you could do about it or anything that Holmhart could do about it. Then we're on the same page. But if you walk in willingly and you tell a secret that you promise to keep, that makes you a deceitful and dishonest person. It makes you someone I cannot trust. And it makes you someone that I do not believe that the Commander can trust. Because all you do in that moment is prove that your word means nothing.

I definitely agree and I think we just don't mention anything about it and if we if they somehow ask us about it which I think is very unlikely we just say I can't comment on that I plead the fifth what does that mean? the fifth what? I'm not sure it's the fifth finger you know when you take all of your hands and you put them over your mouth which one's the fifth finger? which one do you count? oh it changes from person to person it depends on if you're left-handed or right-handed

Well, if I'm right-handed, which finger is the fifth finger? Which one would you like to start with? Whichever one you would like it to be, Tara. I think I want my pinky finger to be the fifth finger. That will always be your fifth finger. Then that'll be the one that you lose when you plead the fifth. I'm okay. Oh, God. Well, for what it's worth, I will try not to say anything about it.

Unless for whatever reason they're twisting my tongue magically, in which case I can't spill it. That's a good idea. I'll remember that for next time. What? Twisting tongues. You guys have never seen any of the crazy fucking illusions that I like to pour on people during battle, but man, it's just magical. I'm sure. Quite literally. Sounds like good time.

I'm ready to go. I've got my veal briefcase and my rapiers in my scabbard. Does anyone else have any other thoughts before we run this gauntlet, so to speak? None. No, but I'm really stressed out, and I think if you just played us a nice little tune, I'd feel a lot better. Oh, that'd be fine. Let me think of a tune that I could play. I agree.

We haven't heard music in so long. And if you're taking a short rest, don't forget to use your hit dice if you have them. I know I was a little low. Can we say this is a short rest? Yeah. So everyone enjoys a short rest if they choose to take...

Whatever resources they have. And add a d6 to that if you feel so inclined. Alright, that's going to be max for Derek. I rolled an 8 and a 6, that's super sexy. Nice, that's max and max, right? Yep, max and max. Is this just for healing? Just for healing. Oh, bummer.

You know, if I could get this next song out that I've been working on to the different taverns for the city, then perhaps the people of Zentra would be a little bit more prepared.

In this realm, indisposed, in disguises no one knows, there's a horde of claws and swords, of beastmen untoward. Beating hooves, wedded horns, neat dark wings and crowns of thorns. Know their name, fight their schemes, we will hear their screams again.

Horn Legion, they will come and spread their brand of pain. Horn Legion, they will come. They will come. So long.

That was lovely. What song is that? I don't think I've ever heard it. It's an amazing song. It's an excellent song. If I gave inspiration, you would have it. This is why we let Derek be a bard.

In another universe, I think that I would really like that song. You didn't like it now? No, it was good. I'm just saying, I feel like it reaches beyond our plane of existence into some really great stuff. I appreciate that, I guess. All right, I'll be on my way. I'll put my veal back in my case. There you go, Bridget. I really appreciate it. No problem. I capriciate it. Capriciate it.

I pretend to drum on Dakota as we're walking out. Or not drum, or like whatever. Air guitar. Air guitar on Dakota. You see her slapping the bass. Slapping the bass! As she's the rhythm section. And you have the whole... The tension seems to have been relieved a little bit by Caprice, as he tries to do. And unless there's anything else, you are guided back

to the Citadel. And it is late at this point, as the... It seems as if more and more, the more time passes, the citizens of Zentra are staying in their homes. And there you see eyes following you from the windows. And you are eventually once again escorted back to the massive Citadel at the center of the city.

You are guided up and up and up through tight, narrow corridors of polished stone and metal. And you, however, are not brought

to the same lofty heights that you had experienced when meeting Portia Paradiso or High General Virgil Zurn, you are guided deeper and deeper into the belly of this citadel to a single room. And the same soldier stops and says, "This is where you will wait. You will all be questioned individually."

Do we have any volunteers who would like to be questioned first? I'll go. I don't think it really matters. We're all going to be doing this, correct? Every one of you, yes. I don't mind going last. I mean, it's probably a high position, but I'll volunteer to be questioned last. I'll go after Capricci. Yeah, I'll go whenever. Very well. I need your marching order. Yeah.

So you are all led to a small room that is nothing more than... It feels like it could be a cell, a cell by any other name, where there's a series of benches, and it's very nice, and there's a pitcher of water, and it seems to be very clean, but it's very narrow. There's not a whole lot of room for activities in here. Damn. No activities.

And eventually you are all left five of you as Caprice. Caprice? You said Capriccio De Sesto, right? Hi, my name is Capriccio De Sesto. Capriccio De Sesto, come with us. Come with us. Okay. And you see Caprice, the door shuts and you hear a loud thud and...

as you are locked into this tight space. How long is this space? You are not there. The rest of your gang, you're being escorted. I'm comfortable with this. You're being escorted

through the hallways up several flights of stairs. I'd be talking the escort ear off the entire time about bullshit. Please stop! You've never heard of FLEEN? Oh my god! It's the best game in the world. We do not have FLEEN here. Please.

You can do all, save all your talking for the High General as you are led to a door. Small, seemingly indescript. And she stops and says, Thank you. In any other circumstance, you would be questioned by one of our officers, but the High General requested to do the questioning himself. If you wish to keep your head

I hope you maintain an appropriate level of respect more than you showed me. And she turns and opens the door. And you see a faint warm glow coming from the room. If you don't think that fleen is a sign of respect, I feel very sorry for you. And then I walk in. Her eyes narrow and glares at you, and she slams the door behind you. And it reverberates around the room as you turn...

and you see a very small table. Two chairs on either side. At the other end, you see the large form, still heavily armored, of General Zurn. His pointed nose, his heavy brow, his bushy, his thick eyebrows, the heavy coat that hangs over his armor.

his bad arm still in the sling as his pointed dark eyes look at you as you enter. And on his shoulder, you recognize that same familiar bird. I double-check the eye number just because of the conversation that I have with Toad. Yes, it'll seem to be sex. Man, that's weird. All right. As the eyes, all eight eyes in the room are steadily on you as Zurn raises out a hand and says,

Capriccio de Sesto, have a seat. I fit. I put my viol case down and fit. How did you find yourself with the rest of these travelers? I'm happy to answer your questions, but I could also just sort of phantasmally give you like a minute-like montage of everything that I've experienced since coming to the country of Striga in general. If you'd be comfortable, it would be pain-free, I promise.

If it's from your own mind, I will allow it. And I hope you will allow this. And he waves his hand, his one good hand, and it glows with this humming red, and the floor beneath you illuminates as he casts Zone of Truth.

And are you going to fail the... I will fail the zone. Okay. Auto zone. He fails the zone, auto zone. As you feel compelled to tell the truth, you know this is a zone of truth. It's going to be of a far more intense variety than the one that Portia had used on you. Okay. And she...

What are you going to minor illusion? It's not minor illusion. I'm going to cast Phantasmal Force on him, which is a damaging spell only if the illusion can hurt him. So I'm going to very specifically render the illusion, and for a minute he would see, and this is me on a meta level describing what this would look like. No, this is helpful for me. Because I don't know if you would rule that this is okay. So it says if...

Yes, it says if it would deal damage logically, it would. But I'm going to avoid that. I'm going to, from the eyes of Caprice, he's going to get a quick movie. A one-minute YouTube haiku of just coming into Striga on the boat with Herja, going through customs, going from town to town until we meet up with the gang, with the ox.

Cutting immediately from that to saving the dude in the... No, no, no. The... Yes. Me talking to the big dude in Abyssal and Demonic there. Infernal.

Cutting immediately to our experience at the top with the Butcher's Bluff and meeting with the sister of the Lodge Dude. Going from there to the Lodge, seeing fireballs getting launched into all of these flying beasts coming in. Cutting immediately to a celebratory dinner where we're all enjoying ourselves and...

All of the truthful things that happen, I skip immediately to the labyrinth, what we experienced in the labyrinth. In a minute, he just gets these little tiny six-second clips. And by omission, I'll obviously cut out that basement layer of the lodge, but it would be a lot of information. He would be able to see all very quickly, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, those memories from the perspective of Caprice in a phantasmal force way using my third-level spell slot. That is what I'm proposing doing. Clever, Bob. Make a persuasion check. Ooh!

To the DM or is this happening? To Tessert. Persuade me.

Thank God I'm a bard. 18. Yeah, that's enough. And you cast the spell, and it seems as if he chooses to fail, whatever it is. Yeah, he would have to. I asked him to. And you just see that his lips are pursed as he watches the illusions that you are projecting to him. And as soon as it finishes, he immediately turns to you and says, why did you leave Gautam to come?

Oh, you know, I was going to go see about a... Well, I have to... Why are you in my country? I failed the zone of truth, so... You can choose not to answer, though, correct? Yes. But they'll know. You just can't lie. Yeah, they'll know if you're lying. I started to go into a lie, and I'm with... Yeah, I realized. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's been a minute. I'd forgotten. Holy shit. I...

To learn more about my tiefling heritage, to be completely honest. Does the ruling Republic of Galtica have any connection to your presence here in my country? No, no, absolutely not. Are you a spy, Capriccio the Cesar? Nope. To your knowledge, do you know if Galtica intends to march on Corovacchia? To my knowledge, absolutely not. That's just plain flame.

Do you have any connection to the devils that have allied with the demons that march upon my city? Not to my knowledge. Again, with the tiefling heritage thing, I don't know about all the connect— how you, how loosely you define connection, but I don't have any alliances in that way, if that's what you're asking. Very well. You may leave.

Can I ask you a question as long as we're in this truthy zone? I don't know if it affects you, but... Persuasion check. Oh, no. 20. Sneaky bastard. And he says, what is your question, Capriccio de Sesto?

Does this mean anything out to you? Of all the people, I flip out the piece of paper that I've held on my person, and it's the fall of the Dark Prodigy will begin in the land of the Shadow of the Raven, heralded by the roar of the bull, and it's got this little symbol on it. I got this in Galtica, and I don't know if Dark Prodigy means anything to you, but it seems loosely parallel to a lot of the things we've experienced since we got to the Striga, and especially the Zentra. So, uh,

You know, just food for thought if you want to discuss it later. I know you've got a lot of questioning to do and a lot of priorities, but just thought I'd plant the seed. Capriccio de Sesto. Yeah. If you are here for the Shadow of the Raven and the Roar of the Bull, you seem to be in an apropos place. And he hands it to you. Great, thanks. You are dismissed. And I turn around, I grab my viol, and I walk out.

You walk out. Eventually Caprice is brought back to the, I don't know if you guys were discussing anything while he's gone. - Just humming Black Bull Sun. - What did you title it?

No, the name of the song that I'm riffing is called Black Hole Sun. What did you name it? Hornly Jun. Because it's syllabically kind of. No, it fits. Just before I walk in, I just disguise self and I look like Caprice, but a horn is missing. My nose is gone. That's fucked up, man. I don't have any upper teeth and I'm like limping in. That is fucked up. Are you actually doing that? What?

Felix, I don't feel so good. Fix him! Fix him! And then immediately I'll reform myself. It's a breeze, guys. Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine. You son of a bitch. Is this one of those practical jokes you always play? That was pretty good. Yeah, I'm kind of used to it at this point.

How'd it go? It went fine. I mean, it's the usual questions that you would think about if you were a general. You know, alliances and that sort of thing. Who's next? I'll scurry up. You are then guided to the same room. Zurn watches you enter as his burglar croaks as you sit down. What kind of chair is it? It is a very sturdy wooden chair. How wide is it?

It's probably not as wide as could accommodate all of the business. I spend 20 seconds just trying to squeak and squeak and I'm just trying to get comfortable, my arm is shaking, I've got Dakota in my lap and I'm just like, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oof, okay." And I'm in a really uncomfortable cross leg.

Like a lady. Sorry about your chair. I'm going to assume you would not be able to lie to me anyway, but I will still cat zone free. Oh, that's so nice of you. I appreciate that. We're not going to need this. Save your resources for this one.

And once again, zone of truth is cast. You choose to fail. Can I ask a question? Yes. Choose to fail versus what? What's the other? You have to roll a save. She would need to roll a save. Do they know if you roll a save against it? Yes. So they know if you choose to fail or they know if you try to resist and fail. So zone of truth gives you a lot of information. That's interesting. Good to know. Rethink your strategy there. Yeah.

Where do you hail from, Hertha Anvilheart? I hail from Valstad. It's in the Grizzlepaw Mountains. What do you do in the Grizzlepaw Mountains? Oh, I work for my dad's blacksmithing shop called Anvil and Alms. And his name is Torvald Anvilheart. I am of clan Anvilheart. We are worshippers of Meriden. And my mom, Nora, also helps run the shop, too.

And we have a bunch of oxen. So I just got one recently, actually. His name is Peyton, and this is Dakota. And my dad made Dakota, and I pet my flail.

You see that he's like holding a slate, a still face and he's just like, "There is still a sense of bewilderment." That all of this matters? There's a sense of bewilderment for Zurn that you would not register, but if anyone else had been in the room, they would be able to register it. Did anyone compel you to come here? Why are you in my country, Hoxha?

No, no one compelled me to. I found out that my dad went missing. I think it was one of those, you know, just long drunken nights. Just didn't want to go home. Made Ma pack up the shop all by herself. And so I said, well, you know, he'd been missing for about a week. But in all honesty, not that that was a lie. Who was your father? Torvald Anvilheart. He's a Forge cleric.

So he was going on a trip to Galtica and he hadn't been back in about a week and Ma said that she thinks he gone missing. So I set forth for Galtica. I don't go there very often unless it's for trade and I'm trying to be a forge clerk just like my Pa and I hadn't seen him. So I heard whispers that he had set across the bridge and gone through customs into Striga.

What was he saying he was doing in my country, Herrscher? I don't know. I don't even know why he went to Striga. He told Ma and me that he was going to Galtica to trade off some of the magic weapons that he makes. He's a forge cleric. Do you know if your father sells arms to any other governments, Herrscher? No. Not as long as I've been around. And I have no other siblings. Not even the Galtican Republic? Not that I'm aware, no. So I'm out here trying to find my dad. I just want to find my pa.

He nods and says, "You're dismissed." And I spend another 20 seconds just to- Actually, I get up and the chair is still attached to my ass, and I'm like, "The chair- the chair-" Like a really solid pop. "The chair's fine, Persia." There you go. Please. I was trying to maybe whack it off with my shield and it clangs to the ground and I apologetically just put it back and I'm like, "Oh, okay." "I do normally do not encourage- compel those to worship our queen, but

I hope your guard knows you are beneath raven's wings in this land. Yeah, I haven't found a sanctuary of Merden yet. Do you know if there is any in your lands? I do not waste my time worrying about dwarven guards. Well, for all it's worth, I did pass the trials of the Raven Queen. I think your guard's pretty cool.

appreciated and will do you good in this land. Goodbye, Herja. And you are escorted back. As you're escorted back, Herja shows up and enters the room and the officer once again says, who's next? I'll go. I'm fine with it. And again, I

Listen, I'm not entirely sure that they're not still going to incarcerate me. So if I don't come back, don't panic. I just might be in jail, all right? All right. Just come back. Seems like a time to panic. Just come back, all right? Let's not worry about this. Have you ever been in jail? I can say no because you would not last a second in jail. My point is I don't think they're going to kill me. They just might incarcerate me. And I'm just saying don't panic if I don't come back.

You and Shul can celebrate. Yeah, we're not going to panic. That's not nice. Damn! It's not nice. You don't listen to her. She's just a little hungry. She gets everything. I think that is right. I don't think you were last in jail. Fireball everybody, but including yourself, you mocked her. But you can actually shape your spell. Anyway. Shh, shh, shh.

So if you don't make it, maybe just give me your token of the Raven Queen so if I ever find your brother, I can give it to him. I appreciate that, but maybe the token of the Raven Queen might do me okay in jail. It's rough. I don't get it. Is it the Kai Ken route? Is it PC man? I don't get it. Sorry, I'm coming. Guess. You got this, buddy. Interrogation. What is it? 1d8? 1d8. Okay. Next 10 minutes. Love it. 10 minutes. You enter.

And as you enter the room, Zurn sits, his eyes narrow, and the huge raven on his shoulder kind of ruffles its feathers. It croaks at you. As it calms down, sits Felix. Yes, sir. You're the one who has the most knowledge about what

Khorovakian life is, is that true, Felix? Yes, sir. I believe so. And the way that I saw your face when I mentioned your last name, and there's a very slight, tiny, tiny, tiny hint of a smirk out of one corner of his mouth. Color begins to drain again. None of your companions even knew who you were. No, sir, I thought it was best to protect myself and them. A noble pursuit.

But by the very virtue of traveling with them, and he circle of truth. I choose to fail. And he acknowledges that, he nods at you. Just by choosing to travel with them from what you knew, that put them in danger in the first place, is that correct?

Yes, sir, but if I may explain myself, after the initial incident that I told you about when I escaped, I set out in a sailboat, the boat capsized, and Toa pulled me out from the water and saved my life. And it took me a while to even trust him and befriend him, I really had no intentions of traveling with anyone. And then that day that the two of us happened to fall upon the others, I quite frankly couldn't get rid of them.

My intention was never to endanger anyone's lives. I was really just hoping to travel with Toa, and then I was sort of stuck with everyone. How did you avoid the eyes of the Talon god? Um... Out of character. I don't think we ever discussed how I got the amulet. That was just my starting magical item. You may choose however you got that. I think that we had discussed multiple things. I think that you had said that you had potentially stolen it from one of his faces. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Augustus. I stole an amulet of...

protection from detection and... May I see? Yes, sir. And I'll reach into my undershirt and I guess pull off the necklace and pull it up. Well, for your sake and for mine, I am glad I was unmoved and did not send my precious ravens looking for you or else you would not be sitting here. You would be long disposed of.

Yes, sir, I understand. It's why I stole the amulet. I'm very aware of, well, at least a little bit of what you're all capable of. Do you have any understanding of what Augustus was doing in torching all of those villages? And I hope you understand, doing your duty, Beastplague is very real. And if we know that it is affecting a populace, doing what you did was the right thing. However, if it was duplicitous...

That is where my ire is drawn. I do not know what Augustus, Commander Augustus, could be up to. I only know what I discovered that night in the tent. I understand the reason behind my commands and my duty, but I... If you're asking me to speculate, I think that he was manufacturing the illusion of Beast Plague to steal those children.

And do you know what he would be doing with those children? What was special about your brother or the other children in your hometown? The only thing that I can surmise is their age. Nothing special. I mean, my brother is just... he was just a kid. And Augustus was speaking with a large man. Yes, sir. Do you think it was as large as your companion? Would I know that? Probably about the same general size. Roughly the same size, actually, yes. How can you be sure it was not your companion he was speaking to?

I mean, I can't, but I've spent so much time with Toa, there's no way. I don't believe that Toa could fool anyone. But don't you think that if there was some sort of plot that involved your hometown, involved a lot, how many Goliaths are in Korovaka, you know that there are not many in number. Sure, yes, yes, sir. Wouldn't it stand to reason that your friend may be the one deceiving you? No, no, I don't believe that for a second, no. Very well, Felix Ackerman.

Do you know if there were any survivors from your hometown after what you did to it? No, I don't know. Ouch. Do you know if there is anything you can tell me at all, Felix, about what Augustus was doing? I've told you everything that I know, and I've speculated on everything that I know, and I believe that's it. Felix, I understand that you are filled with...

doubt and shame for what you did, but you must understand that war is very serious. The things that you must do and the things that have been done may have been justified in any other scenario. You cannot hold yourself responsible. You showed true patriotism by being here right now, by deserting. That was the best scenario you could have done for yourself. However, I do not want...

you to doubt the Khorovakian government or the military now that you brought this to my attention. I will make it done that all of the taint of Baphomet and Moloch and the rest of them are purged from this country, and I would pray you would be welcomed back into our flock once we are certain of that. With all due respect, sir, I understand and hear what you're saying, and

I suppose the trust could be... reforged, but for now I'm going to make my own decisions and just try to make things right that I've done wrong. And most importantly, find my brother. Are you here to subvert the... of myself or the Korovarkian military or government? As long as I don't think that you're doing anything evil, then no. But I will no longer be used as a pawn to wholesale slaughter innocent human beings. You may be used yet as a pawn, Felix.

But it will be used to save thousands of innocent lives. You are dismissed. Thank you, sir. I'm just going to leave. He stands up and salutes you and sits back down. Felix is guided back to the room. I'm singing a song to the rest of the party. The old gray mare, she taint what she used to be, taint what she used to be, taint what she used to be.

Is it a corrupted horse? Yeah, I'm sorry. It's a pretty sad song. The rest of the verses get really rough if you actually know the folktale. I leave for ten minutes and you guys have devolved into this?

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Shroud over Saltmarsh. You can also go to thecrookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Uh, I'm back, so I... You're not with Jay either? No, not yet. It seems like he's going to be alright for now. Okay, I think we'll be fine. Just... Whoever else is up next, please.

Who is next? The worst is behind us now. Go ahead. Do I have to? Yes, you do. Okay, and I'll drag my feet very dramatically. You got this, a finger gun inspiration. Thanks. You are guided to the room, and Zurn is sitting there watching you.

And he raises a hand and says, "You look like someone very comfortable telling dis-truths. Let's change that." Oh, damn! I resent that statement! And, resented or not, I'm an excellent judge of character and zone of truth.

Whips around. Got her! And... Well, I am too. You choose to fail. Do you choose to fail as on truth? Yeah, I fail. Okay, so you choose to fail. You sit down. But I'll also give him one of these. Oh, it's spicy. Taking bets now, who survives. Team Lufty. Choose game. Good choice. Well, if you must.

That is your Korokian name, is it not? Is what you are registered with, is it not? Am I registered? I thought I got rid of that years ago. Yes, okay. You can never get rid of documentation. That's not what the guy in the alley told me. That is 50 quid wasted. Gold, quid, gold. Where do your allegiances lie, Lufty?

Gertrude. What are my options? I will give you none and you will tell me promptly. Well, then I suppose with myself. Does Gruber and the rest of your monastery conspire against the Horovakian military? Gruber? Conspire? Against whom? How? Why? Why would he? That is not for me to guess. Have you ever met Brother Gruber? That is not for you to know.

Do what you know. Does he conspire against the will of the Korovokian government? Absolutely not. He's like, um... He's like sunshine.

Like in a fat little man, but with sunshine. You left Kurovaki long ago and you find yourself back here after spending many years abroad. Yes! Foreign governments. Oh, yeah, some. And you have found yourself quite well off due to those foreign governments, is that correct, Gertrude?

Well, you know, I choose to see the people within the government as individuals. Why do you find yourself back in Cora Valkia after all of these years, after abandoning your country? I did not abandon anything. That seems a little possessive to me. I just like to travel. I've seen a lot of things. You should try it. Get out, get some air. Get out! Get out! Get out!

We have to get out of here! Get in the chopper! I have seen more than you have, Gertrude. Well, we'll put that to a test some other time. I won't waste your time now. But I've been many places, and I do not see that as a traitorous action. Are you here under the direction and control of foreign governments to subvert the will of the Khorovakian government? I don't think so. Not to my knowledge.

I've just come home. I haven't been home. As you said, I've been traveling for many years. Why did you come back? Well, I'm traveling with my friend. And she's, you know, young and kind of uppity. Don't tell her I said that. And she just needs, like, you know, someone with, like, street smarts to walk her around. Make sure she doesn't get into trouble. And I'm sure you can tell I stay out of trouble.

I don't know, something zaps me. I mean, yes. You are smote from above with holy fire and lightning, instantly immolated and must be as dead. Smoking. Burning. What's her truth? She thinks she stays off the charts. Are you... You are a being with connections to the elemental plane of air, and you are aware of this connection.

I look at my skin, it's blue, and I'm like, "Yeah." Are you connected to the Okaxian court? Oh shit. Well, I want to be. Do you know someone? Wait, what? How do you wish to be? Are you an agent of theirs trying to subvert our country? I am an agent of no one! Unless they pay very well.

That's not a good answer. It's the worst possible answer. It's the worst possible answer. You're going to keep James confused? What interest do you have with the Okaxian court, Gertrude? Well, I, you know, they have like a lot of domains. They're up high. They get to see many things that people down here don't. More perspective, you might say.

Do you understand? They are a hostile threat against the peoples of Korvakiya. And if they had their way, every single man, woman, and child of this country would be cast down from their treetops and scattered against the rocks. Do you understand that? Out of character? No, I would not have understood that. In character, would I have? No. Why would you say that? Because it's true.

This is a very hostile land, Gertrude. If you have interest in there and are looking for someone to give you reason to make friendly and infiltrate, we may have further discussions, but for now I am done with you. That's good, because I am done with you. You are dismissed. You are dismissed. And I'll walk in. I'll walk in and just wait at the door until it opens for me.

I'm locked in. Guys, I don't know why I'm so sweaty. It's just all of a sudden something came over me and it's like... I just coughed up a hairball. Is it because of my ukulele's attitude? No, no, it's not you. It's not your playing. All dogs have fleas. All dogs have fleas. It sounds okay. I agree. It's not your playing. I don't know what came over me all of a sudden. I'm thinking about taking heat metal. Is that what's going on?

Lufty eventually arrives back to the room. And I'm in a full pout. Yeah. She is a saddle rain cloud. I'm a saddle rain cloud. So, what's going on there, Lufty? I don't want to talk about it.

Did everything go alright? I said I didn't want to talk about it. So she's not in jail, so it probably went well. I look around the jail cell that we're in and I say, "Yeah, buddy, okay." Was it a jail cell or more just like a room? It's a holding room. A cell by any other name. Exactly right. I just pat him on the shoulder, "Okay, buddy."

Who is next? I'm just muttering. Well, I was going to go last, but Iris, you seem very beside yourself, so I'll go next. She's just over there and I'm like, I'm making coffee. Good luck, buddy. You are...

are guided through the hallways again, and you have to find yourself ducking a little bit here and there to avoid some light fixtures and avoid some arcways of the Citadel. As you enter the room where General Zurn is sitting, you can see that he is one of the few humans in this country that has been able to come close to your stature.

as he stands as you enter, and he eyes you up and down discerningly, and then sits back down and says, "Toa Kamanui." General Tzu-- General Great General Tzu and High General Tzu. "Your work on that laser have a seat." And then he casts out of truth.

And I fail and I'll creep my way into the seat. The seat's a little loose. I'm sorry.

Do not worry about the seat. Later there's a lieutenant who's gonna get yelled at for bringing in a stupid chair with fucking arms on it. So you're just gonna fucking burn him to the ground. He's gonna get fired. Fired. You're gonna bring in a stool next time! Next time! If there is one! They won't kill me, I've been chewed out before. They'll just chew me out, I've been chewed out before. Ha!

Toa Kamanui. Yes, sir. Why are you here in Korovakia? I'm here in Korovakia, sir, because I'm from the Makani Islands. Have you heard of those, sir? I have.

That's where I'm from. And you may know that it's a very volcanic island chain. There are lots of volcanoes and a great kind of major volcano. And those don't erupt because we have great wind spirits protecting our island, sir. And overnight, sir, they disappeared. And I consider myself a spiritual person and their presence seemed to vanish. And I'm just worried that, sir, that we may...

The volcano may erupt if those spirits are no longer there, completely decimating and destroying everything I've ever known for my entire life ever, sir. Oh, and I also heard that the reason for their abduction, sir, might be related to Striga, sir, and I think that's everything, sir. Are you familiar with your friend Felix's story about how a very large man was talking with his commanding officer?

subverting the plans and plotting treachery against the court of Arklane government. No, no. I would have only told Toa about that night. Okay. Oh, so you would have told me. I would have told you why that you found me washed up after I trust you. You would have heard about the night in the tent. Yes, yes, he told me that story, sir. Was that man you? No, sir, no, I don't believe I was in the... I was at home at the time, sir. Is there...

Any other goliaths that you know about that is attempting to subvert the will of the Corovatling government? There is another goliath that I'm aware of in this country, sir. I don't know his intentions to subvert the country one way or the other, sir.

Do you know how I may find him? I do not, sir. I am also looking for him as well as I fear that he is trying to accomplish the same purpose but may fail and in fact make things worse for my home islands.

So if you know a way to find him, that would be greatly appreciative if you would let me know where he is as well. In your travels searching for spirits of primal varieties, are you attempting to subvert the agency or rule of the Raven Queen over this country and this continent? No, sir.

Once you have achieved what you will, what is your intention? Do you choose to go back home? That is the intention, sir. Unless there's some greater threat endangering many people, then I will of course stay to make sure that people are safe, if I can. What do you know about this other Goliath that is in my country?

I believe that his name is Makutu Flamebender Taiahi and I believe that he is a very... He's a mean person and he's very untrustworthy and I don't like him very much at all. He's very strong though. And I don't care for him.

We do not deserve Tarzan. We don't deserve him. I just love him so much. Can we all be Tarzan? No, we can't. He thinks for a moment and says, uh...

Perhaps both of us will work together to find this individual, but that is not for this day. Thank you, Pizza Pretzel! Oh, thank you, Pizza Pretzel! Sorry, I had to announce that immediately. Pizza Pretzel? Can I get a crab? For now, Toa Kamenui, you are dismissed. Yes, sir. And let me know if you have any more questions. I'm happy to answer.

And I'll bow my head and I'll creak up out of the chair, crying very hard not to break it. The chair is fine. I feel like we just splinter under you. I feel like the boards were loosened very recently. And before it tears the final boss. And I get up and I weep. Toa arrives back at the group with one person that's like, oh, the last one. I just stand up and sadly walk to him.

Good luck. And don't fuck it up. I'm sorry I couldn't warn him. If you were the person I saw the night of... And don't fuck it up. Thank you. I wanted to give you a heads up, but I didn't feel like I could before it was your time in the room. Well, no, I appreciate it, and I told him the truth that it wasn't me, so now he knows for a fact it wasn't me. But he wants to help me find that mean guy that's from my home islands as well, so he may actually end up helping me. I hope so.

I'm just so glad we're out of that zone of truth. I believe I can lie. Lying's not very nice. Keep going. I believe that I can lie. Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

Zurn watches you and the raven on his shoulder narrows all six of its eyes at you and lets out a low croak and kind of rears back. And he leans up with his one good arm and strokes the side of the head. I don't even look at the bird. I just look straight at him and walk and sit in the chair. As he watches you. Bad bitch. Bad bitch.

I had a feeling that you would be the last one I would speak to, Iris of the Sands. Yes, unfortunately I was making a cup of joe. I was going to go second to last, actually.

The order makes no difference to me as long as you tell the truth and the zone truth whips around. Do you choose to fail? Of course. Okay, you do that. Please realize before you begin speaking to me that you are speaking to royalty. I understand who you are, but you need to understand who I am as well. All aboard the hype train. I do understand. And then I choose. Give him four. I do understand that I have royalty.

In my presence, Iris of the Sands, which is one of the reasons why I am particularly concerned. You must understand what it looks like when there is duplicity and treachery against my will and the safety of my people. Are you trying to, are you assuming or making the assumption that I have anything or that my father has anything to do with this? Would it be interesting to you, should I, to send him a message and let him know that you are throwing out subtle threats

I am making no subtle threats, Iris. I...

As I've asked all of your friends about any connections-- - I don't have a coffee, but I pretend to drink one. - About any connections to possible foreign agents that would be attempting to subvert, you must understand that being a human nation of civilized peoples, armed and stricter, surrounded on all sides by bloodthirsty savages, that I must be careful, the only reason

Make a persuasion check. Fine.

I'm telling the truth. Can we have Twists of Fear? Iris is how bold I am. And I am using it. I forgot to... Natural 20! Gotta give it up! Gotta give it up! And so that is a 26. 26. He waits for a moment for you to finish. He says, I make no assumptions. No one has accused you of anything.

I am simply asking questions. Yes? No, those weren't questions. They were statements, and I'm just letting you know that I didn't appreciate them. Prefacing.

This question: Are you here as a foreign agent for either Sekhet or any other Nekbeshin or otherwise governments to subvert the will of High General Virgil Zurn or the Khorovaki military? Yes or no? No. That is all you needed to say. That's all you needed to ask. You could have done that significantly sooner. But I must know with whom I am speaking and understand how.

these individuals think if you are to provide more use than I had previously thought and you're proving yourselves quite valuable. Your life does seem to be valuable, so yes. As we've saved it, I assume that we would be valuable to you then. More than you know. Perhaps. The god that you serve... You may say his name. It is Anubis. I will say his name, Anubis. You understand?

You do not need me to tell you that we worship a goddess of death. Does your god have any ill will towards ours? Would you like to ask him yourself? I would like to ask you if you are a cleric. Not that I am aware. And given that you have passed the trial of the Raven Queen, you have shown respect, which I appreciate. Of course. All gods deserve respect. Especially those which vary life into death. And so...

My last question to you, what brought you here? What brought you from your comforts of home? I hear how comfortable your lives are back in Sikhet. Why would you give that all up to be here of all places? I'm loyal to my god, and when Anubis asks me to make, to travel, I will do so. I'm here at Anubis's will. Why has Anubis asked you to come to Khorovakia? I am unaware.

I'm hoping to find out. I do not believe the answer lies in the city. So the sooner that we can help you finish whatever war it is you've embroiled yourselves in, the sooner I can resolve my duty to Anubis and make my way back to the comforts of Siket. Are you done? I am done. You are dismissed. Thank you, darling. Quickly, this one. And I just turn around and walk away.

unrelated. Hersha, you said where you were from. Is it the same continent as Galtica? Yes. What continent is it? Yorna. Okay. Yorna. Cool. I just didn't know. So they're pretty far apart from each other. Yes. But they're on the same continent. Yes. Got it. I didn't realize Yorna was a continent. So, and, um, so the...

He just watches you, undisturbed it seems by that, as he watches you leave. The door shuts behind you and you are escorted back. And Iris arrives and the guard, the female guard says, "Dinner is being prepared. You'll be fetched when it is ready." She closes up. Wait, we have to wait in here?

I think she's long gone. I'm so hungry. Could almost say I'm hangry, but I'm trying to behave. Would you like a Snickers?

It's this strange chocolatey creation look you keep shoving at me. Honestly, if it tasted like shit, I'd still eat it. What? That's concerning. We should talk about that. We want some grations? We have all our stuff on us. Hershey can eat later. I look down at her thighs. She could use some fasting. Don't make fun of them. Why did you say that? I love my thighs. I just started working on my body positivity.

It's half the fun of a doctor. You gotta take two steps back to take one step forward, am I right? I appreciate your thoughts. Wait, hold on, how does that work? Oh, it gets like a can-can. Now, Nikki loves a doctor. I would love any moment to make fun of Persia. No, what we really need to be talking about is not food at this moment. It is, however, that...

I have no experience with that man. He's quite the asshole and... That's what I said! And he... We saved his life. It would have been easy to let him fall. Yeah, he's old. And he puts us in this cell like we're nothing more than rats. Now I understand Phobets, he probably is still irritated, though he may forgive him, who knows. Um...

That he would abandon his post. But for the rest of us, we saved his life. And we deserve more than cell dwellings. I don't think he's going to imprison me. It sounds like he has plans for us to help with whatever oncoming storm is coming to Zentra. No, he sounds like he's forcing us to fight in it. I'm not sure if he caught that, but he said you will fight in this war. I never agreed to fight his war.

I agree with you. No, I'm not saying I wouldn't, because I do feel duty-bound to. I do think that our, like you're saying, our goals may overlap with his, and I don't necessarily want to just continue to be... I just want to slap him in his face. Well, I wouldn't advise... I understand. I understand where you're coming from. My father would be displeased. He's the heart general of the country. We should pay him respect. And I do. He deserves it. Why? Because he deserves it. Because he's the heart general. He's the heart general of an entire country that...

Up until now, I mean, he thought he was protected. He's the country that's falling apart! But he didn't die. It's all run by beasts and-- So I have this. You know Papa Jasper? Jasper for sense, my sweet darling. Daddy, yes, I know. Please do not call him daddy! I'm sorry. Somebody draw fanart of this right fucking now! I need this in my life. Papa Jasper.

You know how he treats you? So good. He is very... He does! He's very nice. He seems like a very generous man. You see as Iris' back begins to arch, her tail kind of pops out. She's like, her claws are coming out a little bit, but not fully retracted. Darling. Here he is. He treats very kindly. Because to him, we are family. You are like an adopted daughter to him. You don't mean...

Is that so? *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*

He rules with an iron fist, or in our case a golden fist. But anyway, I digress. And that is important to do. When you have someone of that stature, you must respect them. When you're in his presence, think of him as if he were Papa Jasper, but as if he did not like you and you wanted to gain his favor. I know, I know. I just, yeah, I couldn't, you know, usually I'm pretty good at this.

Some, yes. Okay, I'll take that. I just, you know, I was put off. I couldn't say the things I would normally say. Like, oh, you're so handsome. I would just, you know, couldn't say that. Darling, I've been meaning to talk to you about this. You can't keep recycling kind words to people and hope that it continues to stick. You can't tell every man that you see that he's handsome and expect him to do for you what the last man did. Well, then he slipped so fast.

I will try really hard

And I will be there to support you. Oh? But if I give you the look and you know it... Is that it? Right now? No, this is much more pomp... Oh. Is it when your eye does the little twitchy thing? Well, I'm definitely getting there, Luffy. Okay, okay, okay. Yes. Good job. And? Yes? Well, perhaps we just enjoy each other's company while we wait for dinner. Great.

Thanks, Toa. Yeah, I'm enjoying your company. I'm taking out my ukulele. Shall we? Like we practiced? Porn legion. They will come to wash away the rain. No, that's different. You really go to an elemental place when you play. It's very interesting. We'll play songs and laugh and chat. Okay.

So, uh, a probably another 20 minutes pass, and eventually you hear the door unlock, and the, uh, swings open at that same female officer, and she says, Do you know Izreti? Please be cut and polite. And she leads you. Define polite. Through the walls.

through the, not the walls, he gets in his, whoa! Whoa! He opens up the,

- This is Gary's mod, holy shit. - Thanos. - He pulls a frog out of his pack and inserts it into the door knob. - Oh, sweet. And so you are guided through the Citadel up flight of stairs to flight of stairs, higher and higher until you're, once again, as you're passing by windows, the cacophonous croaking,

Dian of the Ravens gets louder and louder and louder and louder as you make your way higher and higher up the Citadel. And eventually you are guided to the same floor that you had encountered High General Zurn's meeting room at the very least. However, you pass that door. There are still individuals trying to scrub the bloodstains out of the stone floors as you pass. And...

you eventually are guided to heavy wooden doors. And it has a very similar symbol to the one outside of the door that you had entered previously, but far more muted. And the female officer wraps on the door and she waits a moment. And you hear, come in. And the door opens. She swings it open and says, Be polite. You all enter.

a room that you see this warm glow and there is a large fireplace in this burning hearth that is radiating along the side. It seems to be the same architecture and style as the large meeting room, but far more intimate. There is a modest, heavy wooden table and you see sitting at the head of the table

is Zurp, the large raven that has been on his shoulder, is on a perch in the corner of the room, and it croaks at all of you as you enter, as there are three chairs on either side that are empty. And he stands as you enter and he says, Thank you all for joining me for dinner. Did not seem like we had a choice, but you're welcome.

You do not, but I welcome you. Thank you so much for your hospitality. This looks delicious. Yes, we loved that cell, the dingy, dirty, small cell that you had us stored in. It was very comfortable. Incredibly. How was the chair, by the way?

What chair are we talking about? We didn't have any chairs in the set. I have some tools on me. I'd be more than happy to patch that right up. The chair's fine. I'm very concerned about the chair. I will have some... He's in a sentient being like Dakota. I need to know these things. For what it's worth, I haven't thought about the chair since I left the room. I appreciate it. These chairs are also fine. They have sturdy Khorovakian make. I'll sit down and... Is there food on the table? There's a...

- Oh my God. - The large banquet, yeah, I got interrupted. The large banquet of a variety of different foods, roasted meats. The smell is delicious from having been on the road for so long, the modest tavern food fare. This is a lavish meal. It almost reminds me of something that you would have eaten back home, Iris. - Love it. It's the only thing that makes me happy. - And there seems to be, there seems to be several pitchers of wine.

on the table, as well as goblets at each spot, and you're all welcome to sit down. I'll take a seat closest to Zurn, and I'll pour myself some wine and wait until he starts to look at the food before I eat. Does this look like it's a table set up just for us, or is he expecting more people? There are exactly six chairs. Okay. Besides his. And... I'm just gonna sit next to Toa. Okay.

Who is on either side of him? So you're on the up right of this order. We fit into this order.

Yeah, and he is where you are. Oh, okay. That would be great. Got it. Yeah, that's good. So Persia sits down next to, directly on his right side. Right hand woman right here. There you go. Oh boy. Thanks for dinner. I kid, I kid. Do I get a shoal later? Oh dear. Oh daddy. Please.

You all look like you are hungry and you need sustenance. You had an incredible battle and I want to appreciate all of you for enduring my personal questioning. I do want to stress that I am appreciative of you saving my life and I hope this hospitality would show that I am appreciative.

This is a room where I would have my six eyes, my six generals, but as one of them is now in pieces deep in the citadel, and the others I am not sure how well I can trust, you now sit here with me. I hate to ask, sir, uh, sir, permission to speak, sir. You, at ease, Felix. Uh, all right, um...

I almost... I call it morbid curiosity, but which... were these seats assigned? They were not. The generals have assigned seating. Which am I sitting in right now? That was more or less my question, was who is sitting in Kujata's seat? He looks at you, Caprice.

- Oh, I got the DK seat? Shit. You did. - Is that the battle? - Felix breathes out a sigh of relief. - I let him whisper into my ear for too long. I have, I put a high stress on secrets, high importance on information and intelligence. That is the point of my buzz, the point of one of the pillars of Korovakia.

being information, which is why we were blinded for so long. It's very important, I agree. Now that you said that, I'm glad to be sitting here. I mean, I know he betrayed you, paralyzed you, and tried to assassinate you, but... Where were you going with this, Caprice? You know, I thought I had somewhere, but I just sort of started and then... You couldn't finish? How about a toast?

He watches you and you see that there's no alcohol in front of him. There's a glass of water and he picks it up. With his good hand. No, that's bad luck. I'll allow a toast. With water? I do not drink. Okay, I'm kind of nervous. I am not worried about luck I don't forge for myself, Hoja. You may be at ease.

I'll toast to the Raven Queen and also toast that I learned from Iris. Thanks. Awfully. I'll get a cup of water. Seeing Toa drink water, I'll actually do the same. Awfully, I guess. That's it, man. Permission to speak, sir.

You all have permission to speak. I have invited you to my table. Cheers. That's amazing. That is some crisp water, sir.

Conspiry Refishing, please eat. I immediately yank a haunch out of some chicken and I just go to fucking down on this thing and chug an ale at the same time, slamming it on the counter. It's starting to just... The juices are covering my face. Oh, the Roja Vieja is really just very...

Where'd you get the oven? There's not enough pita chips. There's never enough.

Is this Peruvian chicken? It's whatever the fuck you guys wanted. It's Nando! I love Nando! Gotta give it up for Nando. I didn't know they had a Nando. Do you have mint peas? It's Zerndos, actually. Oh, Zerndos! Oh, I like that. Of all the food they could have served us, they served us Zerndos. I'm just gonna fist today, okay? Fist. I need to fist. I'll take a pass. So, any...

Should we keep the DMs on? Continue naming dishes. This dinner is lovely. This is quite lovely. This is almost exactly what you would get, though the fare is quite different. But a similar atmosphere if you were to come visit me in Sket. I would love to have you at the palace. It would be lovely. We should do it not mid-summer, maybe towards the beginning of autumn. It's gorgeous, actually. Oh, we could do it under the stars. And I just start talking to myself, no means listening. I'm just...

That's a great question. What season are we currently in in Horvathia? In Strega. Fall, right? Yeah, you're in the autumn. Okay, so you're just talking about a year later. Well, it's also a different... Are you in a different hemisphere? So I am down at the very bottom and we're kind of at the top. So it probably is a different place in there. Like opposite seasons. Oh shit. No, the fourth wall! The fourth wall! The fourth wall!

We have a coffee! Not the coffee! Protect the coffee! The illusion is destroyed! That was so good! They thought it was a wall before that happened. Thanks, Mike. Good? Yeah, it's fine for now. Oh no, move it over more this way. How did that happen? No, I mean like... No, we should be good. Alright, we're good. Sorry, guys.

That's not true. No way. Is the blue dot still lit? What's the blue dot? Oh, you can see the light. I never would have spotted that. How the hell do you know?

Yeah, it's like right above your head, Lufty. Oh no, it's been turned off. The blue dot still lives. I don't care for it. All these bits we get and subs go to new backdrops. Whatever emote should be a blue dot. Is there a blue circle? Like, what is that? Oh, it's meta. Yeah, it's her Keurig, but why? Don't worry about it. Okay.

So, I think it's about early autumn. Okay, I was just curious. It's getting cold. Well, when we got over here, it was cold. Yeah, so it's gloomy. It's general chilly. We came from temperate weather. Even though it's only early autumn, it is like chilly. It's approaching, yeah. So you are in cold bath. It's like real cold. Yeah, for you guys, it's like really fucking cold.

Is it okay, I guess, because she lives up to the grizzle paw? It's like fine. It's nothing for you. I assume I would be, though I've been away and kind of like... You adapt to it pretty quickly. Familiar with the gloom. Yeah, you're familiar. Not to like, you know, talk about weather patterns over dinner. I'm just curious. I was just playing with your little PC. The weather is as it is gloomy as it is all the time. Good bread, this. Good bread, this. Good bread, this.

This bread is good. He's a marvel. Joa, who are you saying that you're not making eye contact with anyone? I'm making eye contact with the High General, Sue. He's not looking at you though. He is. And I don't think you have to like salute every time he eats a bread. Just because Felix is... he was in the military. You don't have to do the salute thing. I'm just trying to respect everybody's customs and things. We appreciate it. We do. It's very kind of you. Hey, is there nobody?

Help me understand a little bit about your path to your Zurn ship and what do you like to do when you... I assume you don't have very many days off, but are you...

You go and enjoy entertainment? Are you a fishing man? Or golf? I don't know what that is. It's like a wide gap? I don't know. How about phlearn? It's fleen. Oh, sorry, my fault. Fleen phleel? Have you ever heard of it? We've only discussed fleen, phlearn, fleen once or twice. I'm sorry. I do not have time for hobbies. My passion lies in protecting the people of Korovakia. That consumes all of my waking hours.

That's fair. I mean, I understand you're in a position of tremendous stress, especially given what's happened over the past 24 hours, I'm sure. That is true, but luckily I've consulted with all of the generals and I believe I can trust... Is Portia okay? She is fine. Where did she get off to? She is coordinating with the war priests.

and mobilizing them for war. - Damn. - Warpriest sounds pretty intimidating. I like that language unit very much. - By Sigma! - By Sigma, the Hammer, and the Empire! - That, yes, that is the intention.

Lovely. Is there anything more that needs to be done in the immediate future to prepare for the coming siege? I feel like we've been in a cell all day and we have no idea if the people are alert and aware of the danger that's coming, the threat. I mean, that seems pretty important. The people will be told what they need to be told. And this is the reason why I wanted to have a meal with all of you.

You had mentioned that there had been a labyrinth with a tunnel that led directly to my city. Yeah, it's still there. It is still there, and I will need you tomorrow, when you awake, to guide General Chumley and his men there so they can survey it and hopefully find the rest of them if there are more entrances. Absolutely. Our pleasure. It is then you will turn to me here

and it is only a matter of days before the Horned Legion arrives. I have sent the eyes I can trust over the Clockwood, and I have seen their forces. It will be a battle that will take many lives, but is one I intend to meet head on. And since all of my personal guard have been slain,

And my six eyes I can no longer trust fully. I am counting on you all to take their place. That's a lot of responsibility. With all due respect, which eyes can we not trust? Which ones are you fully trusting that may give us some insight as to who to talk to and who not to talk to? I have personally questioned all of you and I know, and I mean no offense,

When I say that you do not have the means to deceive me in ways that my other generals may be able to, the way that Kujata did for so long. Well, meaning no offense, how do we know that we can trust you? I am the most powerful man on this continent, and you sit at my table. No harm has come to you. Yet...

I usually find that the man minds to like, you know, wine and dine me before he fucks me. So. I have no... We're halfway there. How do I know that we can talk to you? That gives me a song idea. We're halfway there. Okay. We're halfway there. Gertrude, rest assured I have no intentions of amorous relations with you.

Far more attractive women have tried. Zen, I don't mean to speak out of turn. For one, that is a lie. But two, also, she was referring to you damaging us, hurting us. That was the sense of the word fuck. It was a joke, you see, because she is quite loose. I mean, she's...

I'm sorry. She is a lady of the night in some occasions, but she was not referring... Yes, I know. I'm going to shut up. I was trying to tell him it was a joke. But she means to say... It was a joke. I do not wish to bad you. I just wish for you to not harm me or my companions. And you haven't, to be honest, given us any reason to think that you won't. You've said, oh, you're a big powerful man, and I do not doubt this, but...

What good will come of us helping you? How do we know that you're the one to be trusted? Because each of you, as I have learned, has your own individual reasons for coming either to this country or back to this country. Okay. If there's one man that can point you in the right direction and assist you for those aims, it is me. Yes, that's right. And you are saying you will do this?

I'm saying if you join me on the battlefield and we all survive, then I shall. You have earned that privilege by saving my life, exposing the treachery of a trusted general. Well, that's a horse of a different color. So you intend to actually go down on the battlefield and fight yourself? Any true leader of men and women would do the same. Those that experience this war and does not put themselves in harm's way

He's a coward that does not deserve the respect or adoration of their people. I'll be happy to join you when that day comes. You've seen it yourself. This guy, he loves to crush heads and take names. Yeah. He has this little jaw, tall as smash. When he gets mad. Which is like never. This is my first time hearing of this joke. Can you tell the whole thing? So I do it every day with my face.

Hmm? What? Hmm? I hand her the beer cheese. We have a Gordon Beer show. There is actually a- Mandos, Gordon Beer, you know, whatever. There is something we need to talk about. A couple of days prior, there was a strange dwarf woman who came into the tavern where we were staying, and she swiped at me. She unfortunately was able to get out of our clutches, but I am unsure of what kind of nefarious deeds she may be getting into.

I would suggest that you have some of your military out looking for her. She was haggard and old, incredibly old, but quick moving and smelled horrific. You would be able to smell her miles, well maybe not miles, probably around a corner. I think she was just a harmless homeless person. I don't believe so, Toa. I do believe that she was up to no good. I don't?

I worry that maybe this is not General Zurn's most immediate priority. Let's put some of the things first. My point is... I shovel more pretzels into my mouth. I do believe that the way she looked at all of us, she knew who we were. And it is because of that that I worry that her presence in the city might be of nefarious nature. Hmm.

With all due respect, Iris of the Sands... Then you probably shouldn't speak when you start a sentence like that. It normally implies there will be no respect.

I've given you the information. And then I told you. There are far more pressing matters than a dwarf. Well, when this dwarf comes up behind you and you least expect it and she lunges at you and it is the last that you ever see the light of day, you will know. Iris of the Sands warns you so. I'm confident there's no dwarf that can, in this country,

Oh, that can... ...firm me. Well, she mentioned the smell, too. I mean, I imagine you feel them coming. He's a lot taller than the dwarf. I'm not sure the smell would waft up to his nostrils. I do believe that is the reason I did not sense her coming before she ripped the cucumbers from my arm. That's using your noggin. I do it every day.

Good pretzels, ladies. Oh, we've got pizza pretzels? Oh, right! Beetle bites! Beetle bites! You know what they say, pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time. Oh, I know this one! Pizza's on the table, and pizza's on a beetle. Yes! You should absolutely. Do you know, I think you're onto something. I think she's got something. Uh,

So, is my understanding that we're supposed to... the personal guard thing, that's the role you envision for us? Just because of the lack of additional personal guard? Because we've proven our mettle? Yes, that is my intention. So you're not gonna let us just leave the city? So you're saying that our reward for saving your life is to possibly die in battle?

The reward is the chance for an even greater reward. That sounds very fair to me. I'm happy to pledge my assistance. It's like a pyramid scheme.

Did he have a question? You know all about those, don't you, Iris? That sounds like it's something from Siket. Yes, they originated that. Did you mean to do that? No. That is perfect. Thanks for calling that out. That went right over my head. You are a dwarf. Does it have a name? Yes. It does have a name. Do you mind me asking what their name is? No.

I'm trying to guess. It's a very pretty bird. She does not like me telling others her name. It must be something disgusting. Like Persia. Her six blood-red piercing eyes are very beautiful. And I've never seen a bird with six blood-red eyes before. It's very unique. It was sent by the Raven Queen herself.

Oh. It has been invaluable. Would we know of any, like, local knowledge of, like...

I forget if we already asked this also, of six-eyed... You're shaking your head. Only because I don't know, because I'm not from here. Is there any local knowledge that either of us would have about a six-eyed bird in reference to the Raven Queen or otherwise? Or just like a natural... Part of the religion, right? Yes, but is it only part of the religion or is it a natural being in existence? And because I do believe that Lufty is also thinking this, would she know whether they're normally that size or that gigantic size?

I would say make an 8-shot. How big is this bird? It's like on a shoulder. It's big. It's like a poor raven's head. This is a big ass raven. I remember from the zoo. But I'm talking about the one that was in the dungeon thing with the chains. That's like the same kind of bird, right? No. That was like a mullet. Oh.

- Oh. - I thought they were the same. - It was also almost like, okay. - They both had six eyes. - It was human eyes, it had wings, they both had six eyes, yes. - 10 for me, for religion, unfortunately. - 10 for you. - I'm not rolling well today. - I need my thing and I don't know where it is. - Do your thing. - Is Wolf in the Raven with the concept of the six eyes of the raven?

I would say that you probably knew that there is a raven that was accompanying Xurne, but as far as the being standard thing, you're not sure. I got like a six. You're not super sure about the-- it's not like any other bird that you've grown. And you didn't ask this question out loud? No, I didn't. Well, no. You're thinking-- I'm thinking about it. Yeah, no, I was asking like my previous knowledge. I'd like to ask the DM, the state bird of Gulltow.

Of golfing? It is an albatross. Thank you, I will write that down. That's a big ass bird. What's the state bird of Siket? It's nidus.

It would be, yes. North Falcon, actually. I like the Ibis answer better. Ibis is cute. But you know, Cyrus is a kind of... Oh, Sibus. What's the state bird of the Makami Islands? A moa. But you knew that. I knew that, probably. Anyway, what's the wind speed velocity of an African swallow? Are you suggesting that it can migrate? It's not a matter of where he grips it. Wait, is that... Did you already say the state bird of Pornhub yet?

It's a raven. It has to be a raven? Yeah. No separation of church and state. No, no. No, fucking literally no. This is quite literally a religious state. Now I know why. This is literally a theocracy. I can't stand for that. I won't stand for it. Who is quite literally is what I ask for the next. I just spit all over myself to you. Because you're so angry. I'm angry.

- Which is your favorite color? - Green. - No, no, blue! - Red is my favorite color. - Oh, yes. - It was a gift. She was a gift sent to me from the queen herself after she saved me in my time of dire need as a young man. - This kind of red? - Ooh. - What was so dire? - Little bit more red than that. - Oh yeah, it's a little mad. I appreciate that.

I'm like rust. Rusty. So kind of orangey? Yeah, like brown. Somewhere in between brown, red, and orange is that middling rusty color. Mm, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There it is. Yep. Yep. Yep. I cannot fail the heist. I just love that thing. It is crazy. Um, so, uh, are there any good places to visit in Korovokia while we're here?

Any of our favorite spots to or any fun places we could have adventures? I mean, as your personal guard, we may have to just stand outside of your door all day, but... Wait, your personal guard?

I don't remember that being something that we talked about. I was a little bit busy. Oh, no, that's what we've been talking about. He's asking us to protect him, and in exchange, he's going to put on the table what we might be looking for and put resources towards our ability to find our own destinies. Where has my head been now? I've been constantly looking over my shoulder for that dwarf. There are no dwarves here save for Hoxha and Blahart. I thought you were going to forget about Hoxha.

We often do. I forget about my presence. Aww, thanks. She's the best liar I've ever met. If for some reason you were able to help us out with the things that we're looking for, and the search for my brother would leave beyond the city walls, at what point would you allow me to leave? We will see how the battle for Zentra commences. When do you believe that this battle is going to commence? A matter of days.

So, what is unfortunate? Well, I have a song prepared that'll help inform the general public of the Horned Legion. I sang it earlier and it was a huge success. If you wanted, we could round up all the bards in the various taverns. I could teach them the song, they could go, and tonight everybody would be whistling the same tune in preparation for the next 72, 48 hours, 96 hours, however long it's going to be. That's some good math. Is it measured?

in the delivery of the message as not to incite panic. Would you like to hear it? You could make that judgment yourself. I would very much like to hear it. Oh, well, uh, if you could please, please. I love music. I have the lyrics written down right here and I pass them the... I would like to hear it performed. I... When I do get a spare moment, hearing beautiful music is the only thing that brings me rest and relaxation.

Do you play violin while you sing? My viola, I just treat like every instrument, right? So like I would probably be doing this, but I can also pluck at it if I want a guitar more violette kind of thing. So you usually play lead while you sing. And I taught you the chord progression at this point. And I know the chord progression, so I'm just doing some nice rhythm, maybe arpeggiating a little bit. And I'm snapping.

It needs more finger snaps. Definitely. I don't have cowbells. I clap my thighs. Then we have cowbell. Yeah, and I will perform the song for him. Do you guys want me to do it? Yeah, we're waiting. Oh, Jesus. Any opportunity. Sorry. That's fine. This is what you get for the opportunity. Once a month, you get to sing to us. I've got so many prepared. Um...

In this realm, indisposed, in disguises no one knows, there's a horde of claws and swords of beastmen untoward. Beating hooks, wedded horns, neath dark wings and crowns of thorn. Know their name, fight their schemes, we will hear their screams again.

Horned Legion, they will come and spread their brand of pain. Horned Legion, they will come, they will come. Performance check advantage. Yes! Natural 20. Woo!

29. Oh, my God. Everybody giving me the massive help that they gave me. At 29, so as you play this song, assisted by Toa's ukulele playing, you feel totally on top of your game, everyone else assisting you and joining in. You actually see Zurn's rigid mask start to crack a little bit.

as it seems as if perhaps music is this man's one weakness. As he seems to start to, his eyes close a little bit, and he is almost relishing on the notes of the song as you would relish on a fine wine. As he's listening to it, and as soon as you finish, he breathes out and says, mock me as impressed. Thank you. I can preach you.

He's very good, thank you. The lyrics may need adjusting to... Not incite panic. To not incite panic. To smooth the edges. But if you will provide my soldiers with that, those lyrics, perhaps we can help spread the word faster. Chumlee is in charge... Excuse me? Just Chum, you're aware which Chum is?

I do, I did not name the man. I'm just saying it's unfortunate. Hopefully he does not have any siblings. Is Chumlee his full name or is it Chum and then Lee and he has like a brother named Bruce or what? His first name is Grosk. Grosk! That is significantly worse. It sounds like a color of a female. He looks exactly how you would expect. I would be worried about that. It's a gibbering mouth, oh my god! I understand.

You know better than anyone else in this city what awaits in the battle for Xantra that is forthcoming. It may be something that none of us can even hope to survive, but I believe in my goddess, and I believe that with me looking out for you, and you looking out for me, we stand the best chance. Chance. Caprice, your family, and your family, Felix, and your family, your family,

What about my family? I'm sorry, I'm spacing out. He's getting there. Okay, thank you. He's old. He's not that old. And your family? He looks at you and his eyes kind of linger unknowingly. And, Hoxha, your family as well. All of you, whether sent by gods, circumstance...

Or far worse, his eyes linger on you through circumstance, through gods, through things far darker and far worse, and he looks at you, Caprice. Okay. Through spirits. It seems as if there's a common thread of seeking what is best for your family, and that is something as someone without any family left I can appreciate.

Yeah, I think we do. I speak for myself though, I don't speak for the rest of my companions. I like the plan. I'm excited about the plan. I think we should do the plan! I'm in.

If you will honor me to fight by your side, that would be really great. And if you hear about any dwarves passing through your city tour, that would be nice to know. That's going to be my next question. We're looking for perhaps more than one dwarf. Yeah, he said that I'm the only dwarf in the city right now. That dwarf that accosted me was Hersha's father. I think I would have smelled him. I'm sure it was a drunken imbecile. Mm-hmm.

Maybe. I don't know how long I'm going to live up with this fantasy. She's about as tall as a dwarf. The rest of the campaign. But, back to seriousness. Yes, your father is important. Thank you for acknowledging that. I appreciate that. Especially if he is around me.

So yeah, if you or any of your noble knights hear about Torvald Evelhardt or anyone that looks like me,

of male stature and my height probably and is a Forge Cleric. I would greatly appreciate the news because although I do plan to fight for your city and fight by your side, the longer I am here I think also you can attest to this too Felix, the greater the distance between me and my father becomes.

So no rush, of course, like obviously we have to wait for them to come here and I will fight, but if you do hear of any word on the winds of a dwarf in the city, around the city, any eyes on him, I'd greatly appreciate it. I will send out my birds. Thank you. Once this is all over. And to, as a sign of good faith and trust amongst allies, I want to give you all something to show that I am serious.

He reaches into his huge coat that's over the full plate armor that he still wears sitting down at dinner. As he reaches out, he has a handful of shimmering metal, and he flicks it around, and in his large slender fingers, long slender fingers, he holds up a badge of some kind that has a familiar symbol. The symbol that was etched on the door

of his chamber. The ravian, the silhouette of the ravian with his wings spread out and six red eyes. He seems to have six of these. Ooh. I would hope you would all accept this as a way to move unmolested through Zentra and Korovakia as long as I am the High General. And he splays them out on the table in front of him. Perfectly separated. For all of you. And he turns to you. Thank you.

Felix Ackerman. Yes, sir. And for you, I would hope you would know that this would come with a full pardon for your desertion. Thank you, sir. That's incredible, Felix! I think that we need to give a round of applause for that. That means a lot. I appreciate it. Thank you, my religion of Korea. Gotta give it a moat right there. Yes! You have proven your patriotism far more than the unthinking...

comrades that you once served alongside. I would normally, and you know this, I would normally punish desertion unquestioningly. Yes, sir. And ruthlessly. But here you sit, and here I sit, and you've proven your allegiance to Korovakia, and to me. And so, despite all of the pressures from the Talon Guard to seek down a Felix Ackerman,

I'm glad I did not find their pleas convincing, and that you should consider yourself lucky that you were a small fry in the grand scheme of things. I do, sir. Thank you. Just don't do it again. You'll be fine. I will hopefully aid you in the search for your brother. Thank you, sir. That means the most out of all of this. It's wonderful. I'm going to find him. I hope so. So, I...

will not say you will be held in a dungeon if you refuse but i will stress the seriousness of while a legion of beasts marches upon my city but if you are not with me it will be far more difficult to allow you to walk free but this is your decision to make

Of course. Whatever you need, just let me know as long as we can keep the city safe. I'm happy to spend our time here if you have quarters for us. Within proximity to you. I completely agree. At the end of the day, no matter what the future may hold for us, currently, the lives of the innocent people in this city are of the utmost importance to us. They are not the ones that are calling on these beasts to rain down their hellfire around them. We are the only ones with your military

and our collective magics and strength are able to protect them. And I believe that the Raven Queen and Anubis would will us to do all that we can to protect everyone in the city. And I think that Langlo may be the best option for us. And Muradin. Yes. Who is that, by the way? He's my dad. Do you mean Moradin? Muradin, yeah. It must be an accent thing. It's like, maybe it's where she's from.

Oh! Oh my god, I always forget that, yes. Can you say "yous"? What? Can you say "yous"? Yours? No, yeah. It's definitely what it is. I had no idea who she was talking about. Now you know? I don't know much about him. We should communicate. I would like to know more.

That's like the nicest thing you've said to me all day. I'll scoop up the three I use on my side of myself, Felix, and Koa, and I'll take the B-movie. This is a good day! This is a very good day. Meridian is hiding down a pine. I love you. By accepting these medals, you are honorary members all of the Korovakian military, Felix. You know this is... You are not honorary, you are a member. It feels good to be back, sir.

Is it a rank? Is there like a thing or is it just a... Am I like a lieutenant or some kind of officer now? Is that a tiefling Lorbard? Yeah, no, it's me, but I don't... You are my wings. Ah. You are the wings of the raven. It goes so far as to say that anyone who is not us would be beneath the dark room. We were pretty good at winging it, that's for sure. It is...

I love how you said "don't" and I didn't stop. No, no. To be fair, I thought you were going to say something about the wind beneath his wings. I heard a wise man I knew once said something that stuck with me even as a small child. He said, "Once it's like poetry, it rhymes."

He was later killed. In a horrible car accident. Look at chat. Anyway, George Lucas aside, he doesn't exist. George Lucas doesn't actually exist in Manchester. He does not. Aww. Sorry, guys. I love e-books. Me personally, I clapped when I saw them. Okay, let's bring it back down. I love you.

You are the six wings of Xurn. Show those medals to anyone that gives you trouble if they are of the Khorobakian military and they will pass, let you pass without question. What material are these made from? Could I have mine plated in gold? Would it still function the same way? Those are how they are forged. Silver clashes with the rest of my jewels, you see.

You may keep it obscured and hidden and reveal it when you need to. Oh. It doesn't quite shine through the sun the way I like it to. I use minor delusion to make it look like gold. Oh! Oh, exactly what I'm here for. Please don't leave my side. Then I'll put it in my bag. My pleasure. You all continue to enjoy dinner. So you will be meeting with Chumlee in the morning. And he will...

You must show him what you saw, where you saw it, for his own eyes. I would have sent you with his men, but I do not trust anyone besides the remaining generals that I have questioned. And even then, that's why I require you to be there. Keep an eye on everything. Make sure that there is no treachery afoot. So we should not talk about this outside of...

ourselves. No one should overhear us discussing the oncoming armies. Yeah, is this a secret wing or is this a public wing?

Which wing? The wings that are us. Us being your wings. Yeah, are we going to start making announcements and everyone looks at us and goes, oh. No, I meant the- The medals you have will speak for themselves. Oh, okay. I meant the incursion. Until he makes an announcement, we shouldn't be out and about talking about it is what I'm saying. Agreed. Oh, 100%. Absolutely. I totally agree. Agreed. Just use, keep your voices down and spill information sparingly.

And all will be well, and then we will all march to war together. Thank you for joining me this evening. Thank you. The pizza pretzels were really, really good. I was impressed. I do have one more question, if I may. You may. Will there be dessert? Reasonable. That's a good question. There will be dessert and after-dinner beverages, yes. I'm very excited for cocktail hour. Also reasonable.

I pick up my water. As most. You realize he hasn't, he has not touched any of the food. Oh. As... That's concerning. As he, as dessert is brought out and coffees and teas and a variety of after dinner alcoholic beverages are brought.

And unless there's anything else, whatever you guys can enjoy and discuss amongst yourselves. I think we would probably just chat and try to get to know each other. How about you guys chat and get to know each other while he's in the restroom? Well, this is... Jello salad! Oh, boy!

I've never heard of Jell-O salad. My favorite. Oh, for yum. Jell-O salad. Please explain. Felix, have you had Jell-O salad before? Jell-O is one of the only four foods on this earth that I won't eat. Then I definitely won't eat it either. Definitely don't waste it. It's safe to eat. I just don't prefer it. I'll take your help. I'm okay with that. The sooner we get rid of it, the better.

She literally eats the entire thing. I'm like no face when it comes to dessert and meals. I just keep passing her to do plates of all the desserts. You guys are crazy. Are you going to get into the tiramisu? Is that that? Why are you cutting it with a steak knife? It's tiramisu. It's better if it's in a very, very specific right angle. But couldn't you use a butter knife and not a steak knife?

I didn't have one at my feet. I'm night shaming you. Hold on. I'm gonna cut. Definitely don't reverse it.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Derek would be disgusted by this. Oh, thanks. You're welcome. Tiramisu. Honestly, I was feeling a little irritated at the beginning of the day. You? I'm not feeling irritated any longer.

Oh my god. It's too hot! I'm not feeling irritated any longer. This dinner was very pleasant and I am incredibly happy. That's all I was going to say. Me too! I'm so happy. Feel free to say no if it's too late. When he mentioned the getting the bird from the Raven Queen, can I like insight check that? Yeah.

And if you want to talk more about it, you know, you guys have, it's after dinner and you see that he's relaxing. So Felix would get the impression that after being asked the bird's name and him being told that, or, you know, being told that the bird doesn't like people to know its name, I wouldn't ask any more than that. I just want to get an insight on him talking about that. Yeah. If possible.

Well, that's pretty fucking good. Not gonna lie. That's good. 61? Holy shit. 21. I would like, could you please elaborate on what you're about to try to discern? You seem to be truthful about how he got the burn. Alright, meta knowledge. Outside characteristics here. It's bizarre to me

that he has this bird that was gifted to him by the Raven Queen, that it's almost like he listens to this bird, and that it's odd to me that Xurn would listen to a command that the bird wouldn't want people to know the bird's name. That seems out of characteristics for me about Xurn. I would say with a 21. Because it comes across as the bird is not a servant.

The bird is some sort of messenger or almost above him. Bird is the Raven Queen. You get the sense that you get the sense that the bird, that Zurn's bird, whose name he did not want to speak, is he seemed to be truthful.

And it seems when you saw him talking about it, it's as if there is a weakness or a love or appreciation or respect or reverence beyond country. You then got the sense of music and

and also this bird. Okay. In the sense that you sense, when he was talking about it, you got a sense of reverence in a way of a holiness when Iris discusses Anubis or in the way that all of these individuals that worship the Raven Queen in your whole history and in the adventures since the...

since the campaign started. Discuss the Raven Queen. But there is a level of reverence and you've got the sense that he still commanded it to go out and do something. However, the way in which he spoke, there is an interesting dynamic there. So Felix is satisfied with that answer. Andy is still suspicious.

- Thank you, DM. - Derek thinks that the bird is the one who's really in charge and Zurn sits upon it. - I'm concerned about that, but we can talk about that later. - Oh, really? - We can talk about that later. - I was joking, shit. - I'm not. Andy's very suspicious, but Felix is satisfied. Thank you. - Okay. - Is he still has not eaten anything? Not even the dessert or anything? - So, High General, there is a tradition back home in Valstad where after dessert,

We enjoy half a porchetta. A what? Porchetta. Have you ever had it? No, I have not. Well, I will share a family secret with you. I don't imagine that it is something that is commonly eaten in your lands, but if you enjoy meat, it is seasoned meat that is then very expertly rolled and then covered in this enclosure to keep it all together, like a netting.

And then it is left to remain frozen as all the spices are then just consumed by the meat. And it is a great way to top off a dessert. You eat it after dessert? Yeah. Oh my lord, I couldn't eat another bite. Is that true or are you lying to him?

- Porketta is a real thing. - Is it like, but is it something that you eat after dessert? - I imagine as a dwarf, you would eat it at any time. - I would say that if it's something that is not a something I would roll deception check. - No, I'm not trying to lie. - Okay, unless you believe what you're saying. - I would eat porketta after, I would eat porketta anytime as a dwarf because it's so fucking good. - Zurn looks at you and says, "Well, if you provide my cooks with

With the recipe, after we have vanquished the horned legion, I will have them prepare it. I will definitely do that. You will not be disappointed. You can have porchetta in the morning, in the evening, even at supper time. When porchetta's on the table, you can have it anytime. I forgot how it went. Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening. Pizza's on the table, you can have pizza anytime? It's supper time and anytime, yeah. It's a bad rhyme. It's a bad rhyme. Fuck that song. Yeah.

I'm with her job. I see that you haven't touched your plate. And if our job is to make sure that you are protected, then our job is also to tell you to eat your vegetables sometimes. Sometimes. Make a persuasion check disadvantage.

Because you used the word vegetables. We have a bad history of vegetables in Evandris. That's true. 17. 17. He narrows his eyes at you and says, that is not one of your explicit duties. Is there a list, or are we just going to have to suss it out? When you are called upon to act, you will. When you are called upon to draw your blade and your spells and to kill, you will.

When I am in danger, you'll protect me. Well, take care of yourself, all right? Do you not eat tea? I eat sparingly. I'm not hungry. Are you fasting? When my country is in peril, I cannot work up an appetite for myself. But I understand that most people are not as involved in the fate of Cora Valkia as I am. Hence this meal.

Understandable. Apologies for asking and for gorging myself earlier so unladylike. Are you aware of the ketogenesis process? We are not getting into that.

I can't not have my little mummy with me when I play Iris. Oh my god, I know that! I found him as I was leaving the room. Oh my god, was it like 2015 when we got that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got these like four years ago. Wow, that is a blast. Throwback! So I have my little mummy. Oh my god, I'm a mummy! This is now my spirit guardian. Yes! Yes!

Oh my god, that makes me so happy! Is that one of those clicking head things from... I'll cheers, I'll drink to Amumu. No, it's from League. It's Amumu. The sad mummy. Sad mummy from League of Legends. Oh, really? It looks like the tree spirits from... Oh, a little bit! You could only get him if someone from Riot gave him to you at one of their events. Yeah, we were all in cosplay. Was that LULZ? No, it was LCS. LCS. We were in cosplay. Madison Square Garden? Yeah. They had the swag bags.

It's a girl. Knowing what I know. But he's a mummy, so he had to come upstairs. Caprice will never engage in much more of the evening. I'm exhausted from the day, and I'll thank him, finish my coffee. Anything else, guys? I think I'm ready for bed. I don't believe there's anything else that I need to discuss with the High General.

What's our schedule for tomorrow? Do we know when to wake up? I'm going to send a letter to my dad. I think the last thing he heard I was in a brothel in the seven heavens. And now I get to, oh, you know, I probably shouldn't mention that. We decided to be discreet. But I'll tell him I'm doing all right. That seems nice.

I'm sure we'll be awoken when the time is to mobilize and move. If anything here in the capital is anything like life in the military, we'll be on a mission first thing in the morning. I'll make sure to make my bed and ensure there are no crumbs on it. Just get some rest is what I would advise. And with that, General Zurn stands. I would like to thank all of you for joining me for dinner and for accepting my offer.

If we are to survive, I will do what I can to aid you. And I believe that with me looking out for you and you looking out for me, all of us will survive and we will crush the Horn region. But it will be brutal and many will die. I am having my top engineers and wizards look over the plans that you have provided to me. They may hold the key to our survival. I will give you what information I learn from them

When I know it myself. If there's anything that I can do to help, sir, I know that I'm just relatively new to the Talon Guard, or anything that I could learn from those wizards, I would be very appreciative. I will be sure to let you know as soon as I learn myself. Thank you, sir.

I appreciate all of you. Oh, before I forget, if you haven't already, make sure you round up Wyland Gaelstrom. He's in charge of this. If you haven't talked to Portia yet, she would have told you the whole story, but I just thought I'd mention the name. You see a little twinge of anger. Towards me? Not towards you. It seems as if before we were able to capture him...

Gaelos from fled town, but I assure you he will be found and he will be questioned and it will be a terrible and painful death for him. Great. Thank you. Thank you for joining me for dinner. You'll be escorted to your room. You will all be sharing a room. I apologize. That's all right, sir. Yeah, we basically par for the course at this point. I immediately look at Iris.

One room. "Vin be fine!" And I'll pick up like a wine decanter off the table and be like, "Yay!" I'll grab the Pyramid too. He stands and he watches you leave. As the door closes behind you, you hear a fluttering of wings and you look back and the bird lands on his shoulder once again and with his good arm he strokes the side of it and it leans its beak

and kind of nuzzles by his ear as the door shuts behind you. So he must mean one room for you and then a separate room for me? You believe, yes? Who's gonna let her know? I can't imagine all of us staying in one room. I mean, I have suggestions as well. Yes, it'd be a problem to imagine. Let's make that plan Z. It must be two rooms, one for me and one for... I'm sure it is. It was a miscommunication. I can't believe he'd do anything new.

When we finally make it to the rooms, whenever that is, before we go to bed, I do want to spend an hour going over the Infernal Alphabet that Caprice wrote out for me. Because I'm assuming we've turned over all those letters. So I don't have, unless I made copies of anything, I just have the key, the language key that Caprice made for me. So I'd like to study it for an hour before bed. Okay. Just for that, make an intelligence check for me.

Just trade intelligence. And then... I think it's plus five, right? Am I maxed on... So, 24. 24? Okay. So, you all are escorted back by the same officer. Derek's at her triple. I haven't been asking for more beers and they've been handing me more beers. There was a beer genie in here. I didn't realize what you were asking. I thought they were empty. Beer genie. Um...

I'm doing a beer genie. Oh, I am a beer genie. One beer, two beer, three beer. You are escorted back to a mid-level in the Citadel.

into a room that actually faces out onto the city. You see a room with six modest but plush beds, each of them having a nightstand, windows looking out over to, over the city, actually most of it overlooking Skyreach. You see the beautiful buildings and architecture of the noble district beneath you.

as you are left and you hear the final words of the officer saying, "You will be awakened when General Chumlee is ready for you." And the door shuts. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh my god. Luffy, push two of those together, sleep on the floor. It's gonna be all right. No, there's a bed for each of us. There's plenty of room in each of these beds. I cannot sleep on a tiny, miniscule,

Babies like that. Would it help if I did this? And I go invisible. No, it would not. Holy crap. I think when you do that... Well, it does help. Except that we can still hear you. And I know you're always watching. There's a floating chair. Yes, it's in the frame. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Did you get your amulet back? So I was just gonna respond, unlike the knife, General Zurn never took the amulet from me. He only examined it in my hand. I handed him the knife and he gave it back to me. The amulet, he just washed me whole. Could I have stolen some jello salad for the room? I would say that he would have let you take whatever food you guys would have wanted to bring home. Excellent.

So, as we're all just kind of, I guess, getting ready or whatever, and I'm studying the Infernal Alphabet Key, I'm going to summon Beatrice and just say, if you don't mind, Beatrice, could you please watch over us while we sleep? Are there any windows in our room? Yes. There are two large windows that look over Skyreach and the Citadel below. Then I'm just going to suggest that she perched by a window...

You know, the familiar has not been out and doesn't need to sleep, so I'm going to ask Beatrice if she would watch over us while we sleep and feel free to come and go through the window, etc. You see the bluebird shape of Beatrice materialize.

And she flaps and lands on Felix's finger and listens to Felix as she nods. And as you're saying, she nods and then tweets happily at you and flies over to the window and lands. And she looks up as the cacophony of the croaks of the ravens all above. She kind of looks up discerningly and kind of shrinks back a little bit and then surveys the window outside.

You're all in the room? Because that's good. I'll take a close... Sorry, go ahead. Oh, I'm just going to start writing a note to my dad and write some of the lyrical ideas I've had. Okay. I want to take a closer look at Beatrice not having really cared about her before and just like see if she has six eyes. You look at her and you see a two-eyed bluebird.

This is a bluebird. I thought you were trying to keep it thematic and that she's also a raven. Well, it is thematic, but for a different reason. She's not a raven. So if you're looking for the mechanics behind it, she's a reskinned... A raven, but instead of mimicry, she has... Kenai. Kenai.

So mechanically, she is the stats of a raven, but she is very much a bluebird because there is no bluebird familiar in D&D. So you're seeing a bluebird that is definitely larger than most of the bluebirds you may have seen in the fields of Yona. Okay. But besides being a little bit larger and being the colors are incredibly vibrant.

bright blue bright brilliant orange breast and white and it's a very beautiful looking bird but it's still it just seems to be like a little bit larger and very pretty colorful bluebird intense bluebird and you know I think that it's

How familiar they were. I don't know if you shared with how familiar they were. Yeah, we actually had, you asked me before if it was like a real bird and I explained familiars. At the time, I didn't really understand what it was, but I guess the idea, I always thought they were made of magic, but to everyone else, it literally appears as a real animal. It is like an arcane creation. It looks like a bird. It's like a glowing magical bird. Experience-wise. Gotcha. Okay. Loony is a real pixie.

But it still has kind of a... It's still a thing, right? It's still like a person. I guess it kind of had a person. At the time I had thought, oh, is it made of magic or light? I mean, because it can live in my coat without breathing. It's not a living creature, but it is made of magic. And it just looks like a real bluebird to you guys. Nice. So you see Beatrice flap over and is looking out for you guys as you all are kind of winding down for the evening.

Oh, for cure, it's good to see her again. It's been a minute. I've missed Beatrice. She's always around and available, I just tend to keep her hidden because it's not often you see a bird of this nature in Corvacchia, let alone Striga. Well, hello, Beatrice, and I'll just give her a little pat. It's good to see you. She nuzzles her head again. Felix, I've been meaning to ask you, have you always had a last name? Yes, of course, but I was concerned with...

the going-ons of what was happening that, that I didn't want to endanger any of you and I felt it was best for survival that I didn't mention it. Is that why when we, when we met you, you called yourself Steve? Well, of course. I thought it was Elvis. Again,

No, that was later. That was the... Albert. Albert was the name I was given by Revali. So many likes. Yes, Albert Sunshot Benedict Powerbottom III, to be honest. Yeah, I remember the hit one. That was a good name. But yes, to be honest, when Toa and I first met, all of you, I didn't really intend on...

Yeah, I heard Lufty does have a last name.

No. She does? No, I don't. She's a liar. She's never said her last name. Of course not. We also know that her first name is like Gertrude or something. I told you almost everything, but I just didn't want them to torture you and maybe you give up my last name. It was just for the better of everyone. I think Ekamin's a really cool last name. I think it's...

Of all the less names I could have gotten, Ekermen is a good one. That's all right, I suppose. You should tell more people about it now. Well, now that it appears that I may have some sort of pardon, I... Diplomatic immunity. That sounds great. I didn't realize that's what we would call it, but regardless, it sounds...

I guess I can be a little bit more open now. I'm very excited for you. I just hope that it doesn't put my brother in any danger. If God rest his soul, he's still alive. And I don't mean to put the damper on things, but Zurn may have pardoned you, but if there's other parts of the government that don't agree with him, you may still be in danger. I...

I think that's very wise of you and it certainly didn't slip my mind and if anyone wants to pick a fight, I'm ready. I think the good thing about that, Luffy, is that if they don't agree with Xurne, then they're not his allies and we can smite them where they stand. My thoughts exactly. And though Felix and I do not always get along, Felix is my friend and I will make sure that Felix is safe. Hairball. I will make sure that my friends are all safe.

regardless of what happens to us. Am I your friend, Iris? Thank you. Caprice, do you have any songs you'd like to sing? I am a disembodied voice at this time. I agree, we're all good friends here. I think in this state... Tiramisu, Tiramisu! You know, I think a good name for Caprice in this state would be a boombox, because he's very loud. What's a boombox?

Exactly what you are. I'm a boombox? Or maybe we could call him so. I mean, I always thought that was like a lingo for vagina. Oh yeah, what? What about iPod? iPod? I mean, I don't really use my iPad. I of course pod. Or it could be like I preach. For what it's worth, Lufty, I agree with you and I agree with Iris and I thank you and...

Oh, you will?

Okay, but to your point, whatever we may cross, if there's anybody who means to do me harm, we'll vanquish them, and we'll make sure that we do it in the right way, and that we're not in the wrong, and we'll find the people that we're looking for, and we'll find my brother, and we'll find the wind spirits, and we'll do what we have to do. And I just need to properly thank all of you, because I know that I've been prickly at times, and especially when we first met, and...

Now that I can be myself and not be this covert individual, it's a little bit relaxed. I can relax for once. I feel like I can more appropriately address the things that we face head on. I think that that will do you a lot of good.

Now you can take a shot without, you know, flushing at the same time. That's more like it. Now pour you a drink and... I don't know what that means, but cheers. That doesn't matter. Because you're always, like, paranoid and in a hurry. And so normally when I'm on the outhouse... On the john. On the john, yeah. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not wise. When Lufti says she's on the john, she means something completely different. Yeah.

Oh, is that like, is a John like a Lancer? Some size. I gotta go. Is he some kind of mount? Like a horse, perhaps? If he's only John. If I'm lucky. Yes.

Sometimes it's more like a dog. Ew, ew, okay. We've crossed the line here. Back it up. Felix, after all this talk is going on and Lufty giving me a drink and having finished the first one, he's actually going to have a second drink and actually try to unwind for a change and kick back. Look at that, a second drink. You know what, darling, I'll have one with you. Lufty, pour me a glass. I have a lot of years to make up for, I suppose.

Thank you, darling. I'm going to start drinking. Thanks, awfully. Yes, lift the pot if you want a drink. What is this? It doesn't smell like ale. It's wine, darling.

Have I had wine before? I would say that yeah, it's hard to avoid wine. You're used to like the great hearty yonan beer. Yeah. But I think that probably when you got in Galtica, you'd been in like fancy places and you'd tried to drink wine. You don't care for it that much probably. I don't care for it. Here, I'll give my glass to you. I'll put it into my uh... So stupid. I guess I'll... Do I have any ale in my pack left?

Yeah, you guys got a shit ton of time. Can you make us? Can you make? Are you? Given all of your abilities, are you able to make beer? Yeah, I mean, I usually am just honestly a little lazy. So I let other people do it, but I think I could. What do you mean you're lazy? You do everything. Aren't you quite literally a brewmaster of some sort? No, no, no. Titles, titles. Oh, is that what you do? I've never actually asked. Do you do something outside of serve me? Yeah.

I mean, I guess, you know, value in one hand and... What do you mean? I don't know. I kind of just hang around. And this is why you serve me. She is. Well, at least it gives her purpose. I'll pour you some ale out of my bag and give it to you. Honestly, if it weren't for me, she would have no purpose in life. This is true. Hey, Lufty, are you going to use that? I point to her spoon.

My spoon? What do you want with my spoon? I jiggle my jello salad. No, no, no, no. Is that a euphemism or are we all on the same page? I'm intrigued, but the answer is no. Tell me more about this chicken jello salad. No, I didn't bring a utensil.

Felix is like looking at her like, I gotta go to bed. No. Give me your spoon. No. Your spoon. It'll get all sticky and you'll know I just, I won't. I'll just wash it later. It's her weapon. It's how she defends herself. You're gonna get all sticky. But you're not using it right now. Nobody's going to be intimidated if I swing it and it smells like lime. How would you feel if someone used Dakota to eat Jell-O? Listen, if you ever need Dakota as a meat tenderizer, I'd be more than happy to lend her to you. Point taken.

You know, I thought that was a really good example. Thank you. It never fails to... Just use your hands. We won't judge you. You just dumped the entire gel. It just slides off in one like gelatinous... There is a lot of jiggling going on. Also, she's eating gel. I have never been so disgusted in my entire being with her. Goddamn!

I hate Jell-O so much it's just triggering me beyond belief. I fucking love Jell-O IRL so much. I need Jell-O. I literally cannot eat it. I literally cannot eat Jell-O. I wasn't kidding when Felix said it's one of the four foods on this planet that I can't eat. Why not? I am not so sure.

I saw someone in chat mention her spoon and was like, you should ask her to use it. I was like, I just wanted to pocket it in my mind for like a good 30 minutes before I decided to ask. So thank you for the suggestion. Hey, hey, heard ya? A disembodied voice.

Yeah. I'm encouraged by our progress today. We really rolled the dice and managed to come away with some potential leads. I'm hoping that we find your dad real soon. I'll invisible myself.

I'm staring at the tiramisu and then I look up and I'm like, "Oh hey." Yeah, you know, I hope I do too and you know, I don't want to sound selfish because that's not really in my nature but I do fear that something awful has happened to him. I am kind of paranoid about your brother and I just feel like when we're not on the road... No, no, no! Please continue but I just had an idea.

No, continue. It's fine. You can wait. Continue, continue. He sounds really excited. No, he does. I've never seen him excited. I lost my trail of thought, so go ahead. No, no, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm sorry, but... Um, your brother, my dad. Oh, yeah. So, I figure... His brother, the alcoholic that you know...

Yes, continue. Damn, savage. He is an alcoholic. I'll agree to that. The whole... All of us are still alcoholics. You know, I do feel better about the fact that Zurn said he would use his ravens to potentially seek out dwarves in the area. I think that was awesome. I do have to wait till the fight's over, which kind of sucks, but...

You know, I definitely want to be here with you guys and fight for the good and, you know, get these motherfuckers out of Zentra. But at the same time, the more time we stay stagnant in one place, I feel like the distance grows between me and my dad. I know the feeling. I'm with you.

Well, I'm more optimistic and positive about the potential of tracking down your dad and finding out what his fate's been over the last few weeks, months, than ever. Yeah. I bet he's going to have some stories. I mean, I hope they're good stories and he's not, you know, nothing's bad to happen to him and he's not been... You know, every time I go on a bender, I come out okay. Don't you worry. He's like Lance a lot. She was on him at one point.

Having having having been drinking and being a little bit more excited was oh, yeah, of course I I wish that I had these the faith that you have in and and it sounds like that You believe that your father is still alive and well, I hope so. Yeah based on what we saw I wish that I could keep faith and and I think I

I would love to know that Milo's alive, but I never thought of this before. You have a connection to those that have passed. Is there any way for you to know if my brother might still be alive? Or better yet, know if that he is gone, that his soul is somewhere on the other side? I could always... I cannot do it tonight, but I could prepare the ability to speak with Anubis and I could query him. He does not always answer honestly or directly, but for now,

That is the extent of my ability. But I would be more than happy to ask him. He could give me a wheel or a woe in one direction, or he might tell me somewhere in between, in which case I may not have good news for you. I don't want to put you out or make you change your normal strategy. I was considering doing it anyway. An answer of nothing might mean that he's not there or he's there, but...

But regardless, I just... I can't believe it didn't occur to me till now. I don't really know much about your religion except for what you told me after you saved my life and... Let me look through my... Listen, it's been years. It's been years. I can wait another day or so. It's not an issue. And I think that might be wise, given that we, in the next few days, we're going to be up against lots of danger. Wouldn't it be better to maybe find out some bad news after all that happens? Here's the way I feel.

I don't, as I said, and I wish that I had more hope, but I don't. I fully have accepted that based on what we've seen that Milo may have been sacrificed. But that's not going to stop me from at least finding proof. No, this might be very... I'll address a couple of those points. One, I will ask Anubis tomorrow. I wanted to query him anyway, so I will just do that. Thank you.

Should we do... Should we find him dead? Though I cannot do it now, I believe that there will be a point in my life, should this light, as I said, be very dark, but if you retain a piece of him, I may be able to bring him back at some point. Should his soul be willing? Right, right. Or, I know that should we find him having passed, I would be able to allow you to speak with him. And that on its own may give you closure. Thank you. Those are the three things that...

Two of which I can do now, one of which would be at a much later time. I need to gain more of Anubis's favor before I reach that level of priestess. How would I, as a worshiping member of the Raven Queen, feel about, like, taking a, like, a piece of a corpse and, like, resurrecting it from beyond? I think that would be up to you.

I think the idea is that you have encountered someone who is a Worship of the Raven Queen and a Mist-Crossed Cross sign, and that there is sadness but a comfort in the Raven Queen taking those that have died. However, if you have a strong connection and Raven Queen, you know, death be damned, at least a little bit longer, we all belong to our death god of choice at the end. Right, right. I just need a little bit more time. That would be up to you and your god. Do we though?

Okay. Not a helpful answer. What I can say as a cleric, one that worships a god that ferries those into the afterlife, is that my job is to get them there safely, to make sure their souls arrive. But should Anubis will me the ability to bring one back, as long as they are willing, he sees it as an honor to him, knowing that at some point his soul will find their way to the other side.

It is that time in which you raise the dead unwillingly and make them your puppets and your servants that he is against such things. I cannot speak for the Raven Queen, but I would imagine that most gods of death have similar feelings when it comes to the dead. Thank you. It's been enlightening, and I appreciate the information. I just...

As far as what you said about retaining a piece of him, if he's gone like the way of the others, he's probably been incinerated. In which case, there would be nothing I could do to allow you your closure. I understand. I just, I, if that's the case, I want him to be at peace. Of course. So thank you. Thank you. And I would be more than happy to do a ceremony for him. Thank you. Should we get to that point. We will ask a newbiss tomorrow, and hopefully he will have some guidance. Though death gods are a fickle friend. I can't believe we made it to the High General today, guys. Well done.

Yes, I never thought in my life that I would meet half of the high-ranking military members that we've met today. I will make sure to send a message to my father and tell him that we are all incredibly grateful for his help in even the small help he was able to do to get us to Archbishop Jebediah.

Jealous Adam. What? Jealous Adam. No. Is it carious? Thank you. That was exactly what I was thinking. Yes. That was the word I was looking for. She says jealous Adam. Dwarves, right? Why did we pick her up? Oh, she came with you. Anyway, I will let you know where I was very thankful. And other than that, I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.

Agreed. I was going to study for a bit more, but the drink has kind of gotten to me and now I'm- Then let's get some rest and can I just say how cool it is that we're now the wings of the raven? How cool is that? What a cool team name. Guys, I didn't even know that was a thing that existed. You're a wing and you're a wing, we're all wings. Six wings? Six- wait. If you're a wing, I'm a wing. Do ravens- And I think that applies here. Do ravens have six wings?

They just have the two, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, just usually. The six generals being the six-eyed...

"There's six eyes, that made sense, but maybe there are some ravens out there, but it's three different ravens." Like, soothe his head while he thinks of us. Rub the little area between his eyebrows. Yeah, I'll play a nice slow tune for everyone to get into the mood. We're all putting our jammies on. That's also not-- Let's not forget about Ravioli in the morning, if you have the resources for it. Yeah, I'll probably get a message for him.

Sorry. If not, then maybe Felix can help get a message to him. I can't write worth a shit.

Before bed, I'm going to take ten minutes to ritual cast detect magic. And having not seen anything, I'm assuming, take ten minutes to ritual cast alarm. Okay. Because you can never be too careful, he says as he breaks into the newsstand and we all get murdered. Talk about his penis. So, uh, Felix, you take your time. You cast detect magic. There's magical humming over all of your companions in the magical, uh,

The magical items that you all enjoy. And so there's, you know, from the old view, there's a magical hum. But you make your way around, and there doesn't seem to be anything nefarious that you can tell in this room. So then for the alarm, the six people designated will be us. It's a silent alarm in their head. If anyone other than the six of us were to cross through the threshold into our... I'm assuming it's a small enough room. We just count as a creature in that situation. Um...

I can, I probably can designate her. I will designate her. Just in case, I don't care how the rules work. And, no that's it. Just if anyone other than the six of us and Beatrice were to come in or out of this room, we would all be awoken by a silent alarm in our heads. Colin, you do that.

So you feel, you see Felix taking his blade now that he's seen it and it's kind of humming with this strange silver glow as he's going along the sides of the room and marking everything out and you finish after 10 minutes I believe? Yeah, just a ritual. 10 for each. 10 minutes and you feel like there's been a protective magic over all of you guys.

I'm asleep. And I'm gonna retire to bed after that as well. I'm making soothing ocean noises for everyone. Would you like to move the beds together? And we can sleep on a larger bed than individual single ones.

Okay. Do you mean it? Yes, but you have to move them. I'm not moving them. Of course. I'm going to, you know... What the fuck was that? It went from soothing, soothing ocean breeze... To seagulls! No, it was supposed to be a seagull, but it sounded like a monkey. It was definitely a monkey thing. Baby dirt. No, it's not.

It's like a monkey swamp ocelot. It's an ocelot. Livdi and I push two of the beds together, and I don't make her sleep on the floor. We actually snuggle into the beds together and fall asleep. Aww. Wow, everyone's turning over a new leaf today. What a day. What a day. Also, one of us has a very fundamental misunderstanding about what an ocelot is.

And I don't know which one of us it is. Let's find out. It's Derek. It's definitely Derek. It's Derek. It's Derek? No, it's not a cat. It's a cat. Okay, okay. So I'm not crazy. No, it's a cat. I don't know what the cat's level is. Oh, I definitely thought it was like a monkey. Okay. I thought it was a jib. I wasn't

Derek thought that. I wasn't going to say anything. And Iris would have 100% knew that we were going to do this. Many times it's me, so I just wanted to check. Holy shit, this is the greatest moment of D&D ever. That's amazing. No, this is funny, man. You guys kill me. I cast Tasha City's Laughter on four of you. That's what I can say. I used almost every single one of my spell slots today. Oh my gosh.

That's fucking great. So, as you all settle down and you all drift off to sleep in a shockingly comfortable bed for the citadel that you're in, Caprice, you dream. Oh! I like dreams. We're no strangers to dreams in Prime. And you dream. It's you. You conquered the Iron Legion. What? You're a hero of Zetra.

There is a woman in the crowd. Hot damn. Nameless, shapeless. You can't even tell what race or species she is. But she's taken with you. You embrace. You flash forward to your wedding day. You give each other a kiss. And...

You flash forward to the birth of your first child. Aww. You embrace as... This ain't going on at all. You see tiny horns emerge, rust-colored, as a small Tiefling boy is born. Aww. Flash forward, you're old and gray, embracing your wife as both of you pass quietly after a long life. And your child lives on. Your child grows up.

has a very happy life, a wife and kids, grandchildren. More, more, uh, you're surrounded by the decesstives. And life takes its course. And as your son grows old, with his own wife, having spawned many children, he passes. And then you see him, his face in agony, endless torment and torture.

as hellfire bleezes all around him after death. As he shrieks out in agony, it all then is snuffed out. You are an inky blackness. You, your hands, it's you again. You're no longer old. You're no longer embracing the strange wife that you had. You have no child, it's you. And you start to see the shadows around you coalesce and swirl around you as they get taller

and taller. And you see a humanoid figure start to materialize in this shape in the shadows. It is tall, taller than you, shapely hourglass form. Two small wings from the back, a tail, horns, and you see black hair, but in the inky blackness. It's nothing more of a silhouette. And then you see two narrow eyes

They're no more than white slits in the shadow. And you hear, Capriccio. You've done so well. The curse of your family may just end with you. What you're in the middle of. And you feel, as you look down, that you're able to respond. No. My eyes...

Who are you? What's happening? Have you... Am I dead? No. You're not dead, Capriccio. As the shadow figure moves around you, her eyes constantly on you. You're not dead yet. I reach for my viol. It is gone. It is just you in nothing but cloth. Almost a nightgown. Your magic...

It's not at your side, neither is your veal, nor your rapier. Who I am is not important, Capriccio. But who your great, great, great granddaddy, Marcio, and the deal he made with me. Holy fuck. That is what's important. Do you know who he is? Do you have fond memories, Capriccio? He made the Giuseppo name. He made us the musicians that we were. I mean...

What are you saying? That is what everyone plays. But it's the great fame and fortune that always comes with a terrible price. And that is you, Capriccio. You found yourself exactly where I needed you to be. Exactly where I needed you to be and when I needed you to be. You're the one who made me like this?

You're mine, Capriccio. It wasn't me. It was your great-great-great-granddad. He is the one who gave you to me. And you're lying. Your son, your daughter, your grandsons and granddaughters will all be mine unless you do what I need. And you have the book. You know what they want.

You know that, right? I know I... I wanna start a... I wanna... Aww. You do want to start a family. And you don't want your children's damned to the nine hells. So then you have no choice to do what I want. Poor Capriccio. What are you... What are you gonna ask for? You've heard a name. Moloch. He wishes me harm.

I deposed him long ago. He seeks to destroy the city and what lies deep beneath this citadel he wants to get to. He believes this to be his pathway to power. To depose me, cast me aside. But I know you won't let that happen, will you, Capriccio?

Your soul depends on it and the souls of all of your children depend on it. And that's it. After that, after Moloch goes down, then we're done here and I can go on and no one else is damned? I never said that. When I am satisfied and when Daddy is satisfied. For this is how he chooses to project himself as well. And he has cast an eye on you as well. Moloch wishes me harm.

He has even sunk as low as to ally with a demon lord to do it. And you are very lucky to have found the friends you have. Alright, I'll see what I can do. I mean, he sounds like a pretty bad dude, but you know what? I can be pretty sneaky. You know what? That's fine. But this is just the beginning, okay? We're going to have to have a few more conversations before we... Oh, we will, Capriccio.

Your great-great-great-granddaddy made sure of that. The roar of the bull must be silenced. That is your first step to absolution. Goodbye, Capriccio. Real quick, fuck you for my mom a little bit. And as that happens, the lights blink out and the shadow disappears as darkness returns and you all enjoy a long rest.

Jesus. Oh, man. Mike. What in the fuck, man? That was juicy. Can we all give it up for DM Mike? Of course. That was good. Creepy music. Good RP. That was awesome. And you all awake. You've completed your long rest caprice, and you wake up feeling sick to your stomach. I keep my eyes closed and just sort of process. Good morning, everyone. What a lovely day to be Wings of the Raven.

I guess, yeah. Well, good morning. You seem alright. I'm... We're Wings of the Raven. We're gonna go kill bad guys. We're gonna save the city. We're gonna try. We're gonna be good people. We're gonna do what we can. We're gonna be heroes. Again, I don't really like that word, but sure. Well, I think we're doing the right thing, and I'm very excited to get started and hopefully defeat the evil that lies right outside the city walls. That's the goal. That's the goal.

Well, perhaps I'll be... I'll get ready. Everybody should get ready. We're to be cold soon. Hersha's still asleep as she is clutching her bowl of jello salad. There's not much left. And there she's clutching a little... Like a few scrapes left of jello salad.

I'm going to, just in the time that we have in the morning, I'm going to place out my little figurines, I'll look outside and just get a sense. I remember that Skyreach was north, right? Yes. Okay, so I'll place my figurines accordingly and say a little prayer. And move on. You do that, you see Toad kneeling surrounded by these four carved totems of different animal effigies as he's preparing in the morning.

You do that. Felix. Yes? I'm going to commune with Anubis now. Okay. I'm going to ask that question that you asked of me. Sure. I want you to prepare whatever he may say. Of course. I have no expectations. Then I'm going to get out my censer and everything else. My little lantern, I guess. And I'm going to cast Augury as a ritual. Okay. And I'm going to ask if we have the chance to...

save the life of Felix's brother. Okay. You're good? Yeah, no. It'll remind me how Augury works so I'm a thousand percent certain so I don't fuck this up. So, um... I cast it. Thank you. And then you either tell me whether, um, he's saying "Wheel" for good results, "Woe" for bad results, "Wheel" and "Woe" for both good and bad, or absolutely nothing.

And that means the results aren't especially good or bad. The spell doesn't take into account any possible circumstances that might change the outcomes, such as the cast of additional spells or the loss or gain of a campaign. A.K.A. like strip revival. Yeah. So you see Iris as Toa prays amidst his circle of totems. You see Iris pull out her oil nip.

and light it, and there's a number of different relics that she places around. And she leans in. You see Iris gazing. Her large green eyes? Is that...? Yeah, large green eyes gazing into this flame. What you all see... You've got it, Dan. You all see just a little flame flickering at the end of this oil lamp. However, Iris, you channel in, and can you please word exactly what you're asking of us?

Anubis, lord upon the mountain, god of judgment, god of death, please tell me if there is a chance that we can save the life or that we will find a life hole in the brother of Felix Ackerman as we begin on this journey. As you gaze into the fire, you see a shape emerge. You see the tall, pointed ears, the long snout,

the black head of a jackal. And you see it change shape as it flutters into the shape of a raven, casting a shadow over a child until it disappears and you see the flame and you hear a voice in your head. "Wheel and woe." The flame flickers back to how it was.

Well, I'm going to have to stop taking that spell. It always tells me the same thing. I turn to Felix and I say, Anubis has spoken. And? He did not come back with only woe, but both. Which means that there is a chance. It means there's a chance. It's great news. There is something that we can do to save your brother. That's great. That is great. I mean, I guess based on our conversation, it doesn't mean that maybe he's...

currently still alive, but I mean, it's better than nothing, right? It is better than nothing. If his soul were lost forever, it would have gotten nothing but well. He, there is a chance for redemption there, for both you and them. That's great. Thank you. I can't thank you enough. Of course.

Let me know if you need answers again, and I will plead to my god for help. Thank you, thank you. Outside of that, I am ready to send Ravioli. It's his name, right? Yeah, I see him. Captain Freewing. Captain Freewing, yes. I am ready to send him a message, should you have one that you would like me to send. Please just let me know what it is, and I will. Just let him know that we're safe in what we're doing, and so that he knows not to go looking for us in dangerous places.

So I cast Sending, and I say to him... Hold on! Before you do that, just make sure you let him know that we're going to be in the Seven Heavens with General Chumley, pointing him where we came from. It is probably best that he doesn't come to bother us, to be quite honest. Oh, you're probably right. Never mind. For safety.

And so then I'm gonna cast ascending and I'm going to communicate with Professor Freewing or professor, commander Freewing, lieutenant Freewing, whatever his name is. I think he's a captain. Yeah, whatever, Iris would know. We have found solidarity with Commander Zurn and we are protecting him for the time being. A war is coming.

We are safe. Prepare for it in any way that you can, but for now, do not worry about us. And do your best to stay in the shadows. We will be in the seven heavens. It's best should you not attempt to find us. Oh, shit. You send the message. About five minutes pass, and you hear a voice in your head, or the return message, I don't know if it's a voice or whatever, but you hear it says, Great news. I have found the entrances.

to three more tunnels. Oh, shit. She only hears this, right? Yeah. In the four winds, memories rest in the conquest war. I will keep an eye out for you in the seven heavens. Make a signal if it's okay to approach. Well...

Seems that there are more tunnels. These are the woods that he's found them in, and I spewed them out. We should make sure to let Zurn know of that. It is as I suspected, and I imagine he has the men also on the lookout for it. Especially once they know what to look for.

great work on Captain Freewing's part. Yes. I think we should let them know about Captain Freewing. I don't think that he would want that. Alright, and I cast it again. Freewing, thank you for that information. You are expelling my resources, but this is

This is very good information to know. Please send a message with the exact location and may we alert Zurn to... Please mark the locations for us and tell me how you're doing that. And then may we please... May we please tell Zurn of your presence. May we please let him know who you are and that you are an ally among us. Could you remind me? So you said...

So I basically said, can you mark the locations of the, or can you tell us, he already told us where they were. And he said, find a way to mark the locations so that if we walk past them, we would kind of like, oh, that's a symbol. That's somewhere in this area is where the tunnel is. And I said, when you respond, let me know what that symbol is.

And then maybe please tell Zurn of who you are and that you're an ally so that you can communicate with us freely. - It's only a matter of a minute or so as he's just received a sending and you've just sent it back. He said, "Give me several hours. "We'll mark with wings of liberty."

He's so cool! He doesn't sound as cool when Iris reiterates it. If Zurn can be trusted, use your best judgment. I trust you all. And I relay the message. Man, he's so cool. I know. He's just like...

He's a badass! I knew a lot of badasses when I was in the military, but this guy, he's a badass! Maybe he can be the seventh wing of the raven! Oh, that would be awesome! Wouldn't that be cool? I mean, they weren't in sixes, but... So Folly just said, Derek, were you thinking of slow Loris instead of the ocelot? No, I was thinking of an ocelot. LAUGHTER

I genuinely thought it was a monkey. Very cool. Very cool. We've all been there. We've all been there. We've all been there. I can't blame my hearing loss on this, but a lot of times in my life I thought it was like one way and it ended up being another way. Like I thought dog eat dog world was just dog eat dog world. Right. Until I was like 23. Yeah. We've all been there. Wow. Wow.

It's just a doggy dog world, you know? Doggy dog world. Oh, Eric gets it. So with this, what? No, I know nothing about doggy dogs. Is that a rap band? I despise music. Who let their dogs out? I'm rolling around in my bed. Where did this wolf come from? Do you want some jello? Do you want some breakfast? There's a lot of jiggling and also jello. Yes. No, no, no. So with this. I'm upside down spooning jello into my mouth, looking at everyone like,

You guys sure you don't want any? It's almost gone. Are we planning to keep her?

She's our good friend, Hoosier. Speak for yourself, Tora. You're my good friend, Hoosier. With that, we do have someone coming to get us soon. Are there any things that we need to deal with prior to their arrival? We've alerted our ravioli, Creebird, and Hoosier's being her usual self.

So... Wait, his name is Ravioli Freebird. I must have misheard. No, no, no, no, it's not. Every time Caprice is played in taverns, they're always saying to play him then. How could they play... His name must precede him, I'm not sure. When they yell, play Freebird, I don't... How do they even know to ask that? His name must precede him. I'm not sure. I don't know how Caprice would play him unless it's weirdly sexual. I don't know.

And I look around also. What are we talking about? I'm sorry, I just woke up. I'm not sure. I'm trying to get everybody on track. Oh, do you want some salad from last night? Felix is just preparing spells for the day and ignoring everyone. I'll be alright. Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm going to finish it off. That's okay with you guys. Much obliged, Sergio. I just don't have much of an appetite. Honestly, would you mind chewing with your mouth closed this time? Thank you. So, anything to talk about before we leave?

I'm just, I'm ready to go. No, no, let's go. It's a great day. Everyone's in a great mood. Let's go. I'm in lovely mood. Outstanding. We wait for the summons. So, uh, as you, uh, you all wait and then eventually you hear a loud rap at the door and you hear a voice call out. It's like, are you awake? Let's go. Show me the way to all these tunnels.

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