Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 14 | Lying Eyes: Part 2
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Felix Ackerman and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. Archbishop Zacarias says he knows your father Jasper of the Sands. I am Matthias Brill. I will take you to the cathedral. Aloysius Zacarias, Archbishop of the Faith of the Queen. If you complete the trials and succeed...

The Raven Queen will have everything that she needs to allow you to walk beneath her shadow. If you are all committed, I will meet you at the Sepulchre of Nira. None of you have lost your courage. I appreciate that. Are you all prepared about what you will see in the Sepulchre? We're ready for whatever may come. A huge stone door. Slide open. I wish you the best of luck.

All must lay their memories to rest here. Suddenly the sprout starts to shoot up and grow and a small tree emerges, a trunk and leaves all around it. The entire room is bathed in snow, almost in the blink of an eye.

It is frigidly cold. A spectral form starts to materialize. You have conquered trials of memory, knowledge, winter, and death. Nothing is more powerful than fate. See if you can change it. 28 to 25. 15 to 20. 15. 16. Okay. Who got 15? Me. 10 to 15. 0 to 5.

Six. Six. Seven. Oh, I got a... I don't know what... I got a six as well. Caprice rolled a two, but I don't know what his modifier is. Oh, no, I got an eight. Oh, plus six. Sorry. Caprice also got an eight. And Caprice also got an eight. Caprice got an eight, so you guys, what did you get, Iris? I got a seven. And I got a six, so I'm probably last. So put Caprice after me for now. Caprice and Toad are together. Yep.

Okay. And just to let you know for this fight, my AC is 16 because I used Mage Armor. You got an 8, correct? 6+2? Yes. Okay. So you tie with Toa. Toa can go first. Okay.

- Jesus, with an eight, I was third. - Yeah, it was really bad rolls all around. - Form it up, Dad. - We haven't done any rolls yet. - Yeah. - Okay. - So you see this dwarven woman. She seems to be holding a rusty flail, and it seems to be a version of you way down the line, broken and completely hopeless and sad and miserable. - I don't get the evilness of the set, and then my dex will pull through.

Do I feel compelled to attack it, or does it look-- It seems to be rising, it looks to be looking at you, and it looks like it's about to attack as this wind is howling all around you. I'll stand next to-- I'll move closer to Felix. Okay. He can move me five feet towards you. Oh yeah, you can move one-- yep. Sorry. And then...

I will bonus action to cast Thunderous Thighs. Hey! As both thighs clap together. And then I will do my two attacks with Dakota. Oh, jeez. I would think that Mage Armor is meant for you. 11 for the first one misses. It swings in this spectral version of you, Dottos, by the way. Ooh, natural 20!

Oh my god! Baby Christmas. The booty claps. The booty claps. More of a din. Let me do flail damage first. So that's 12... 12 bludgeoning damage. And then...

Let's see, because I used my... Sorry, I'm still figuring this shit out. Can you guys see the Doom DB on overlay? I just didn't know. I couldn't see it. 46 thunder damage, so that's 46 thunder damage. 46? Damn! 4d6. 5. 40. 7. 4d6. 4.

So 140 damage. Thunder damage to the target in addition to the one I just hit with. Additionally, target is a creature and must succeed on a strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away from you and knocked prone. This is 20. What is that? Booty though!

- That booty go. - Oh, I love it, I love it! - So as you slam your cloak in, as you take the full brunt of the smash and the thunder damages, it collapsed, your thighs smashed together and thunder erupts out of this cannon. - I wonder if that's canon. - Yeah. - What is happening? - Sorry, go ahead. - And it missed resist hard and it knocked back. - Okay. Seeing that it is not knock prone, can I still pour Divine Smite into this?

Is that just part of the attack on bonus action? Right. Yeah, I can determine after a hit. So I'll just do a first level Divine Snipe because that's 2d8, so that'll be 4d8. You have a Clangor that anvils Moradin's Blessing, smashes into this thing. Six, ten, 15 points of radiant damage. So you smash it and Moradin smites a blifter, you're up.

Okay, I would just kind of... What does it look like? How did she react to that attack? It seems to me as her job is beating up on this future version of you, it seems. Your friends are... Your eyes are rent with pain and full of terror, but still viciously looking at you. Wow. How would I react to that? This is crazy. I feel like I would...

step in front of Hersha and like push her back but not make an attack. Okay. You need to make an athletics contest then. Okay. Athletics contest, Hersha. Oh, is she pushing me? She's trying to push you. Yeah. Athletics. That's cocked. Oh!

- Not great. - L-O-L. - Well, you beat me. Got a one plus zero. - Wait, what were you guys going for? - She's trying to push me. Athletics. - You're unable to move her as you try to pull her out. And that's your action and then you fail and she stands back. - Okay.

- And so as the- - I feel like really confused about what's happening here. Like what I'm seeing and what's going on. Like I don't like it here. - And so all of you are seeing, you saw the form of Purge that be on this form of you, that's yelping out. And as the winter rages all around, you also get five points of cold damage. - Shit. - And it starts to,

you feel this horrible sense of frigidity overcoming you. - Frigid. - I definitely take less though, 'cause I have fur-o-mite. - Because of the cold, because I don't suffer penalties of being in high altitudes or cold climates. - You take no damage.

My boy. It is because of the winter. The winter is surrounding and raging this frigid winter, and you see Toa seem to be fine by this. Weirdly, I'm so surprised. As you see this aggressive version, and as...

And I would also just yell at her, and she'll be like, "Stop that! What are you doing?" "I don't know, I'm trying to protect you!" And you see, each of you sees this version of yourself, all called out. Gently touch his shoulder.

You are not able to bend your fate. And I am everyone in Christmas saving throw, please. That literally cannot ever be- Plus two if you're within 10 feet of me. Oh, we all are. Everyone but Iris. Oh, what is it? Plus two? 30. Yes. Within 10 feet, I mean. Holy shit, Charisma. Plus two. Holy shit, I got a fucking 20. Yeah, 20, 22. My girl over there. Dakota. Dakota. 21. Very nice. 16.

So you feel like nothing happens. As this thing does, you feel something. You almost feel like the threads of fate pull against you, but all of you are able to resist this effect. It's almost as if every time Mikey DMs, he's surprised by the things that we do. He's always like, oh, this party's really overpowered.

and I'll make it really hard. Oh, it's actually not that bad. But anyway, rolling stats, ladies and gentlemen. But as this thing turns, you also see the shape of yourself, including you, Herja, lean in and you see Dakota swinging and slam towards you. You all see various weapons smashing towards you.

towards her job as after being attacked by like our own weapons duck it's a fireball she's gonna make an attack and it's gonna be a 23 to hit do you have any weapon 23 hits yep don't tell me I have a dagger

- As you've all been made aware of last session. - A digger. - A digger. - A digger. - I don't know what we're gonna hear. - You take 22 points. - Holy shit. - Of bludgeoning damage. - We did, we did. - I brought that up in the-- - And it smashes into you and you feel the bludgeoning damage hit you as you all sort of see your own specters attacking Persia. - Ow!

That is its turn. I'm sorry, Herge. I will get into my battle trance rage as a bonus action, and then I will shout, This isn't real! It's a test! We have to defeat it! Mainly at Lufty. And I will attack twice. I feel attacked. I'm gonna go... I'm just getting around to the side just to make sure it can't get away. Oops.

One's an extra 20. - Woo! - Gotta give it up, gotta give it up. - And one is a, sorry, one is a 10. - 10, 10 misses with a dash of 20 obviously hits. - Obviously. So one, two, three, four.

- Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 damage. - 18 damage, wow. - That's awesome. - As the first one smashes through, so to see the forms start to shake, and you all see yourselves

wrenching in pain and agony and fear. However, then it starts to shift and you see a six-eyed raven's head appear and then shift back into your own form as it takes its full damage. However, it is unable to dodge out of the way of the second attack. Is that it? Okay, Caprice, you're up.

Do I get a sense that this is magic that could be dispelled? I would say probably not. It's like a creature. I would say it's a creature that, yeah. Very real, even though it's like illusion-y. Yes. Yeah. All right, all right. Then I will... Um...

I'll move over to the other side, closing in. I want to stay within 15, 10 feet of... That's 10 feet. Yeah, you're good. Is it? Yeah, you're good. 12.5, but anyways. You're in part of the square, right? Oh, is that how that works? Yeah, it's fine. Just a little tug. We're going to give it to you. All right, I'll take it. All right, I'll go in with my rapier for an attack.

and I will get a 21 to hit. Wow, remarkable. And I will... I will deal...

How much is that? I have Tear and I'm up in the air. Seven piercing damage. Seven piercing damage. You draw your rapier and you're almost dueling yourself as you stab your rapier deep into this figure. You were always bad at this move! And then I will use my bonus action to turn to Iris and I will sing. Where is it?

All the grave clerics with their gods can shepherd souls like Anubis do. High on his mountaintop, oh, ayo, respect the dead and pay them due, giving her bardic inspiration. Ay-yo, ay-yo, ay-yo. As this happens. I love that. It's my favorite thing. As this happens, you feel inspired, Iris. You stab into this woman yourself. And you start to see shimmering.

As in each of the gravestones, you see a spectral figure completely faceless. As the voice from this creature in the center calls out in your own voice, you must also face those that were unable to be masters of their own fate. Put them to rest and you will complete the challenge. As in each one of these is a figure of Merges. Fudge monkeys. As we're going to put this one is going to stay here.

And then they are going to just immediately emerge and attack. What the fuck? That's like two or whatever it is. Oh, well, okay. Alright. Well, okay. Okay, Mike, okay. Jesus Christ. Just drop a fireball at our feet, we'll be fine. I'm about to. As these all emerge, and we're just going to get some attacks on them.

And so, one's gonna attack Iris and that's gonna horribly miss. One more's gonna hit and that is going to hit as you take... - It's a 20 foot sphere. - Four points of force damage. - That's not very good. - As you smash in, you're going to get two on Toa.

- 20 foot sphere. - Yeah, there's gonna hit. - Right? 50, one there's a 50 feet. Area is 20 foot. - Really low radius. - Well, I don't know if it's area. - No radius.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, so I can protect everybody. All right. Eight points of force damage to you, Toa, as they smash in. Force damage. Force damage. So I don't even resist. So, Felis, a natural 20 on you. I'm immediately going to use shield. Okay. So plus five to my AC, which makes it 21. But it's still a natural 20. Oh. I was going to say, can we pause? If I knew that. You're standing next to me, so I'm going to pose disadvantage on that with my protection ability as my reaction. My fault, my fault. I misunderstood. So it would still be a...

- You're good, you're good. - 17. - And then if you wanna use your reaction now, you can. - So if I use shield, that puts my AC to 21, which I would like to do. - Exactly right. So Herja puts her shield up and you slam it still 'cause it's gonna hit you and you put up a shield and you block it. - Okay. - That's my reaction. - Okay, and then with that, Herja is gonna be taking two. - Gross. - That's gonna miss. And that is gonna hit.

Seven points of force damage. Okay. And then, Caprice, you're going to be taking one. That's going to be an 18 to hit. Okay. That is going to be, let me roll this business. You're going to be taking eight points of force damage, and then one's going to be on Luffy. Wow, that's going to be a 20 to hit. Man, I'm rolling really well tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. All right. Oh, wow. Really not great on the damage, though.

- Nine points of force damage. - Leafy, hold on to your pants, Leafy. That's all I'm gonna say. - Okay, cool. - I have like five twists of fate. - I'm gonna look at this creature and say, "Though they're all threads of fate, I make my own path, and I'm going to use Word of Radiance around me." No, no, I'm not. I actually lie. - You hyped us the fuck up. - No!

I am so hyped on Word of Radiance. I love the cleric shins. I'm so pumped. No, I would rather use my actions for something more important. So I am then going to channel down a pillar of glittering sand. Ooh.

and cast Beacon of Hope on everyone. Damn, son! It's way better. So everyone within range has advantage on wisdom saving throws and death saving throws, and you regain the maximum number of hit points possible from any healing for the next minute. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's great. That was the Miriam. The Miriam, right? Alphonse. Fuck yeah. So a pillar. Thanks, Miriam.

of glittering sand appears on all of you. All of you feel a sense of in this wasteland as wind rages and snow and ice are all around you. It's almost like a supernatural hopelessness. There's a pillar of hope in this warm sand appears all over you and you all feel incredibly hopeful as the power of Anubis inspires you. Okay, is it your turn? - Yep. - Felix, go. - I immediately cast Fireball at my feet. - You do that.

It's a 20-foot radius, so it should hit everybody that's around me. And I choose one, two, three, four, five characters to not be affected by it. So fucking good. I was about to say, I was like... Oh, you motherfucker! Maybe I could use another here. So we have deck 16 for every character in there, which is going to be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight little guys and one big guy.

I'll roll the damage while we're doing it. Let's fucking do it! Pretty good. That's gonna be 10. That's gonna be 10, 22, and then I gotta roll two more. So 22 plus four is 26 points of damage to everybody in range of me. The only one that's gonna see you is the big fucker. Okay. So 26 points of damage to everyone but half to the big guy. So 12 to him. No, 13. 13, apologies. So let me just do that real quick.

Good ol' Poppy knows what's going on. So, uh, Felix reaches in and you go to smoke. That is awkward. And, uh, your hand grabs the blade that you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you

- You're completely fine, but all the creatures around you are completely incinerated. - Yes! - Nice, Camillax! Quiet wizard! - Gotta give it up, gotta give it up. - I clapped when I saw it. - It seems, however, that although this creature that looks exactly like you holds a dagger with the raven's head on the hilt,

with a silver dagger looking at you. It dodges most of it, but it's still singed, and it shifts, and you all see the head of a six-eyed raven appear for a moment, letting out a croak, and then it shakes back. Oh shit. Okay, okay, with that, it's her turn. Back at the top of the round? Yep. How does the raven entity, me entity, look in front of me? It's taking a lot of damage, but it's still doing, seems to be fine. The picture of you, yeah, the energy, it seems fine. Okay.

looking over behind my shoulder at Lufti, having her gently touch my shoulder as the contest does not succeed. No, no, I pushed you. You just gently caressed her face when you touched her. Lufti, Lufti, it's an illusion. It's okay. It's just I'm seeing myself. I'm trying to protect you. You're seeing you and me? Yeah, I'm seeing me. I think all of us are seeing each other, but in like 50 years or whatever, however old we are. We gotta take this

I'm gonna take this down though. Good job, Felix. I did make a con saving throw for concentration on Thunderous Thighs. That passed. I'm gonna make my two strikes against Big Bad. I did as a bonus action last turn.

- But then it's-- - It goes where it wants to hit. - Oh, really? It's not just a concentration? - No, it is a concentration, but once it hits-- - Oh, sorry, I thought it was like an active-- - Holy bonkers. - Yeah. - The first time you hit with a melee weapon. Got it. Apologies. Well, in that case,

Shit, I don't really have like a lot of other bonus actions. I've got double attack. I was just trying to... I think paladins get very few... Bonus actions, yeah. Oh yeah, here we go. This is definitely the fight song. Leave this on, please. What is that? I will...

Two more RPGs, yeah? I'm gonna use my bonus action to cast Shield of Faith, so my AC goes up to 20. Okay, you have a clan of Morden's Shivering Molten Glow of Molten Metal and Steel appears over you. So I'm gonna cast that, and then I'll make my two Dakota attacks.

One's a natural one. It misses. Okay. And then the other one is a...

13. It dodges both as you're swinging as this figure looks at you with horror and regret and sadness and misery, and it kind of throws you off as you swing back and forth. I'm lifting your arm. My turn. I'm counting squares. Count those fucking squares. I'm fucking counting. Okay. I never do the diagonal square. How does that work? It's 1.5. One and a half squares. So it's going to be seven and a half feet. I have 45 squares.

45 feet. I'm trying to be able to get to both of these. I know I can get here. Easily. So you can move nine squares. So that's three, six. You still have three more feet of movement. What the fuck?

I have been just shorting my sails. You're super fast. Monks are insane. You could literally run here and it's almost as if-- I want to be able to touch both of these. It's almost as if you spent your entire D&D career launching arrows from the back. So what you can do is attack and if you kill it, then you can-- Yeah, so why don't you go here, hit that guy, and then you can move one more there. Yeah, sure. Okay, so I am-- Finish them! Finish them! So I'm going to be like, "I don't know what's coming!"

and I'm just gonna whack at number six with my quarterstaff. With your spoon? My spoon. So golly. Golly. I know we have an older kelp for it, but maybe they'll survive. 19 to hit. Six plus four, so 10 damage. 10 damage, you smash into it with your spoon, correct? Yarp. Okay. And then a ki point for Fury of Blows.

You can use double attack, though. Yeah, you get double attack. Oh, do I? Yeah, so it man the shit out of that guy. So you can just attack right there. Okay, so my double attack, and that's just one attack, right? That was just one, so this is your attack. Okay, ooh, that's not as good. Nine to hit. It dodges out of the way. Okay, so then key...

Key point for the Fury of Blues. Sign me up. Let's go see it. One on six, if it hits, is 11. 11, unfortunately that misses as I dodge out of the way. What the fuck? Yeah, that one's a two. Yeah, okay. This seems to be dodging. I impotently like... It's appearing in and out of existence as this thing is dodging. I'm gonna trip and accidentally pull one of Iris's fancy silk scarves down. Oh god!

- Not to be a dick, did it make an opportunity attack? - Oh, it will do that. - Yeah, no, it's advantage. - You don't get free disengage? - I don't think so. - It still lands you. - And this is going to do. - Do what? Does she get disengage anything for Drunken Master? - Whenever you use Flurry of Blows, you benefit. - No, it's only after your attack. - Yeah, so you take an attack of opportunity. - Oh, after you attack. - Yeah, my B, my B.

It's okay. Stay in the character. Good. 25 points of blood. Hold on, hold on. 25 points. Do I die? Which, were you next to me? 22. I was next to you.

But then I move. I mean, I can pose disadvantage on that. It was already disadvantage. Oh, okay. 22 points of damage. I rolled a 17 and 18. All right. 22 points of bludgeoning damage as this figure of you smashes you with a huge wooden spoon. That's a spoon right there. The old spoon mommy. All right. And as you do that, it's current. It's okay.

- As the winter rages and everyone but Toa, you feel five points of frost damage, of cold damage. - No! - As it's, the winter is relentless here. And then it is going to then turn and make an attack on you, Toa. And it is going to lunge forward. Don't fuck this up, me! I'll use cutting words. - This is advanced, right? Or no? Oh no, it shouldn't be. - It's negative 1d8 from whatever it was.

It horribly misses. And it uses its attack and everyone makes a Christmas-shaped mid-drop. Shit. And once again, it descends. Plus two! Oh my god, 22! Plus two for everyone within 10 feet of me. That's 20. Nice. Earl, 19! 22, baby.

25. 15. 22 plus two is 24. Passes, passes. 12. If you are within 10 feet of me. You had an at 20? I did, yeah. Oh, shit. Six. Nice. Do the thing, do the thing. Do the thing. Oh, I got an extra one too. Can I, I mean. I would say we have five.

Should I use it? Let her ride. That's what they're there for! I would use at least one. All right, I'll use it. Yeah, you use it. 'Cause you got a natural one. 'Cause you can pass it easily, right? Maybe 18, 20. Yeah. 20 passes. Yeah. I will accept my fate. Toa, as you feel-- We've removed one? Yeah. Mark it. So we have four now. As this thing looks at you and it says,

You have lost your potential. Is that what it sounds like to me? No, it sounds like, bird! You lost your potential. How things would have went with my life. I guess that's true. How dare! How dare! I'm so glad you made me re-roll that.

as you feel yourself sacked of your strength. - Oh, shit. - And with that. - It's so fun. - Toast turn. - Oh, wait, I took damage from the cold, so I gotta, I pass. - Okay, got it. - I'm gonna say, it's not very nice, I think.

So a 16 and a 26. They both have 16 bear friends. Are we still in Hope Beacon Town?

So advantage on wisdom saving throws. 29 damage. 29 damage. Are you still concentrating? Someone said you took damage. DC is 10.

So you smash in and you see this look of fear and hope and sadness. It smashes and smashes and smashes at you. Actually, I have this, so I'm going to use that as a d8. And you see Toa. As the spectral form shifts and shakes, and it is now looking as if it could be bloody, it is, but then this head of Toa

- Shifts and all of you see your own head. Shifts once again into the shape of a six eyed raven. And now you shift back. - Oh man. - Okay, with that it's Rhys' turn. - First of all, healing word myself. - For max? - For max damage. Max anti-damage, so that's going to be nine to me. - That's great.

And then that's my bonus action. And then I'll turn to me and be like, you never heard the rest of my set because I passed out. I have the heart of a manticore and a lifetime band from the Galtaga Zoo. And I'll catch Tasha's hideous laughter. Yes, that's what I'm making. It has to make a... Is that a chomp?

Wisdom saving throw. It's not a charm. It's not a charm. It's just a wisdom saving throw. Poppy Kennedy wants to know what college our bard went to. If it has an intelligence score of four or less, it's unaffected. It has a...

I was hoping Galtica U. Galtica U? Shit. I love that! I need t-shirts for Galtica U now! I can't use a reaction on my turn to do that. I'll be down to go to Galtica U. You can't use a reaction. Okay, then you succeed. Hey! Drew LaVarne. It looks at you, Julie LaVarne, stone-faced, by your ability. Shit, I thought that would work. Let

Let's keep hammering away at this thing. That's the end of my turn. However, the two creatures now are going to go. Only two left. The rest will continue incinerated. One is going to attack me, Buffy. Now it's drawn its ire. Does it hit? Oh, fuck. Yeah, that hit. Okay.

I'm gonna die. No, you'll be alright. I'm gonna die. Yeah, you're gonna die. No, you're alright. What? Can I use my reaction to reduce it? If you are able to do that, as you're at 30 feet, let me just make sure. Wow, that is great. Max fucking range. I already used my reaction for...

And I haven't used my reaction yet since my turn. You were at 4.4. What is it? You have to mine. With a 30 feet, if I take damage, I can use my reaction to reduce it by 2d6.

Who's with seven? So one point. As it's going to hit you, and you hear, you see kind of this spiritual form of like flapping flippers and a shell as a sea turtle seems to swirl around you and block most of the damage. I'm standing behind what's happening.

- Thank you. - As it swirls around and dissipates and it blocks almost all of the damage. - A wizard that didn't go Ig-num. - And then what is it attack? The last one's gonna attack Iris and that is going to hit. It's gonna be like a 23. - That hits. - Seven points of force damage as it smacks into you. - To who? - To Iris. - Okay.

Yeah, no, it's not. They're all in the in their range. With that, it's our turn. I am going to cast-- this is so hard. What do I do?

- I'm going to cast Cure Wounds at a third level on Lufti. - Okay. - Dang. - She takes max healing. - I know. - 29 points of healing. - Dang. - 29 points of healing. - Wow. - You feel a paw grab your shoulder and you feel this kind of warming, comforting drizzling of sand all over you and you feel like almost all of your wounds or many of your wounds have healed.

and whatever flavor you'd like to add to that. - That's nice. - Is that your turn? - That's my turn. - Okay, as it feels like the power of Anubis is lost over you and has saved your life. With that, Felix, it's your turn. - So if I make a ranged attack against a creature straight in front of me, I'm at disadvantage, correct? - Correct. - I am actually going to attempt to move away. - Okay.

Attack of opportunity. That's a miss, I've got a 16. I'll make a firebolt attack. It's gonna be a 27. So that's gonna be 2d10. Five points of damage. As your hand blows with fire and it blasts at you, point your finger and finger gun it. It does a bit of fiery damage as it takes it. And with that, it is a hurt his hand.

With word of, sorry, prayer, not prayer of healing, beacon of hope going, do I also benefit from max healing from healing potions? Yes. Any healing. So I will use my, I will move to be within five feet of, no, of Caprice. Caprice, yeah. I'll say to Tua, Tua!

to me and then I'll use my action to cast my... I have 25. Hey, Urja!

I'm gonna use my action to cast my channel divinity sacred weapon, which for one minute abused my weapon Dakota She's already magical, but now she's even more magical adds plus two to attack rolls and I am emitting 20 feet of bright light and 20 feet of dim light You can any effect as part of an action but I think it's so That's happening as my action and then as my bonus action I'm gonna wrap it off a greater healing cast which is Matt's

So you feel the power of Moradin empower Dakota as it glows with this molten, the molten light of a forge. And it feels even more magical than it was before. You chug a potion and you feel like the power of Anubis, this warming sensation of sand appears over you. And you feel the guidance of Anubis even empowering you with a potion. Okay, Lufty, you're up. So I'm going to be like, oh, now you're in trouble.

and I'm just gonna like jab my spoon at number six. - Okay, you do that. - 14. - 14 hits. - Barely. Barely? - You didn't have to say that. - Barely.

That's six damage. Six damage, 18 to be very weak as it shimmers and almost loses its form. And then I'm gonna use-- You have two attacks, remember? I'm not gonna use my ki point, I'm gonna second attack. Nice. Also one of the cuddle stuff. That's 18. Yeah, 18 to hit.

- Mm, five damage. - You smash it, as soon as your spoon makes contact, it shimmers and fades as it seems to die. - Okay, so then... - So then...

What the fuck? Welcome to Kebab King. So if you use the key point, you can hit twice with your bonus action. So what's the bonus? So if you use every attack that you make, you automatically get two hits. So you see here, that's an attack per action, two. And then my bonus action is an unarmed. But if you make an attack with your spoon, if you use your action to attack action, you can use a bonus action to hit with an unarmed strike.

You can use a key point to do Flurry of Blows and hit twice with your bonus action. So you can do four. Okay, so then my bonus action on Armstrike is gonna go at... Number six. And you can pull the token off because it's a spectral thing, so there's no corpse. Ten. You miss as it seems to go through the spectrum. And then key point for two. Okay. With two Armstrikes. Yep. Ten and... Fourteen. It's a lot of threes.

- What's one? Seven or eight, 15. - 15 hits. - Okay. Fuck me, five. - Five points of damage as it dodges your one, as you bring up your leg and you manage to smash it, it seems to actually take this. Bronwyn, what number is this, the only one that's alive? - Six. - No, six is already dead.

- Four, right? - No. - That's six. - Oh. - So the only one she'd hit before had been the other one. - Okay. - So if you split up their damage. 'Cause she did 10 last round to it, and then this round she did the first two hits that hit. And that's the final round. - Yes, so that one died. So whatever, we'll just say four damage to this guy. You gotcha, it doesn't matter what number it is, 'cause the other one's alive. Okay, Felix's turn.

Okay. I am just going to Firebolt the guy again. Okay. So it's going to be an attack roll plus eight. 16. 16 hits. 20. Three. Three points of damage as you fling another Firebolt. I've rolled horribly for damage tonight. As it flies in, it still hits its form. Okay. Her job.

Wait. Lucy just went, so it should have been monsters. It should have been me. I don't know why Felix just went. Let's redo it. It's going to be its turn as the raging winter appears around you. It's going to be six points of cold damage. Six. As it rages all around you. Retcon. It's going to turn to you, Felix.

Caprice. And it's actually, no, everyone needs to make a Charisma saving throw. As it once again rages out and- Sorry, Tolo. It says-

- What is it? - Can you change your fate with all your own? - No! - You say charisma again? - Charisma again. - I got a three. - Fail, fail. - Another 30 and I can do the thing. - Who got what? - I got 11. - Fail, fail. - I got a 15. - Succeed. - 15. - Succeed. - 13. - 13 doesn't matter. - No, I got a, not a three total, I guess. It would be 10, but I'm trying to decide if I should use a twist of fate or not. - What did he roll?

A three plus seven is 10. - I mean, we've already got three failures. I feel like two failures is better than three failures if you make the roll, but. - I feel like Toa's already taken a failure so he shouldn't take a second one. - It may not matter. - Maybe Toa should take a twist of fate. - Yeah. - It also may not matter, but we don't know. I mean, we're meta, we're meta-ing this shit out of everything here. - All right. - It's up to you guys. - The twist of fate invites a meta conversation very briefly.

- I vote Toa should take one. - I vote Toa. - 'Cause cum fucks me worse than anybody else. - No. - Nope. - Okay, Toa. This thing looks at you and it says, "Hey, man. "We fucking need some Melissa Pimp. "I feel like we should've taken a different one." And your current HP is now your max HP. - Whoa! - And who else failed? - I did. - I love that. - That's a good thing.

Because I have high health right now, yes. If I had like, a 40 health. So if you had four health, then you have, and then if you get hit by eight, you die. Like, dead dead. And so...

So this one looks at you and says, "Oh yeah, your mystery's going to be shifting. "Oh, your memories are gonna be shifting." And you now are, you lose two in acrobatics, as you feel like you've lost memory of your acrobatic abilities. And you are now, you gain two, however, in history. - I fail. - Okay, you fail. - You gain two in history, that's awesome. - Plus two in history, interesting.

- I failed as well. - Okay. So you see the, this one looks at you and says, "I wish we had done things differently." Your current HP is now your maximum. - That's an ideal. - What was my number? - You failed, no, no, I rolled. And you lose a point from your charisma. You lose two points of charisma. As you feel, as this figure of you says,

Oh yeah, bud, we could have done so much more. There we go. With that. It was a valiant effort. You betcha. So with that, now we're going to talk to Viri. Going to talk who? Caprice.

Okay, I'll suppose disadvantage. He's already disadvantaged. Okay. Oh, he is? Okay. So it's going to be a 15 to hit. I will cutting words for that with my reaction. Negative 1d8, doesn't matter what you roll. Yeah, okay. So, Ed, what are your cutting words? Oh, uh...

You didn't laugh at your own joke. You're not me. And so as this figure of you lunges towards the rapier, it seems, it doesn't hit you, and then you say that, and then it manages to miss. And with that, it's Joel's turn. I will attack twice. An 18 and a 27. Okay. Oh, there we go. 12...

17, 18, 19, 20, 30, 34 damage. Holy shit, so you see Toad bashing in on this thing. Man, that's a lot of damage. And it's slammed in once again, the head shifts back to the six-eyed raven and then shifts back as you see all of this Toad bashing in on this version of all of you. Capri, it's your turn. I will say that I...

Uh, Lufty. Me? Yeah. Um, uh...

You didn't go down, actually, because he just saved me. And then I healed her for a short time. You're doing all right. Get back into the battle here and help us out with your spoon, all right? I'll give you bardic inspiration, and then for my action, I will enjoy a phantasmal force on the strange creature that is also me and everyone else. So I would like for it to fail with a spell save DC of 16. What's this cosmos saving? It is a...

14. Yes! That's awesome! All right, so all of a sudden, in a ring surrounding it are a bunch of four and a half foot tall hens with these long beaks. And they're going to start to walk around it in a sort of dancing pattern like this and pecking every time they say blocked.

But I'm going to need everybody's help here. So everybody together, I need you to go, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk

And that's what they're doing. That is horrifying! Holy shit! It's amazing! Our barn! We gotta do it all. Alright, it's best by us. So, what does that even do? Oh, I get to do some damage. It doesn't fucking matter. No, it instantly kills the creature. That's what happens. It takes five points of psychic damage. Oh!

As you see this creature, its head shifts to a head with a long beak and then to the six-eyed raven and then it turns back. Okay, what else? What else? There we go. I need my mixkey. Oh, it's their turn. So there's one last who's going to attack Whoopty. We killed the Tiamatha with the speaker. Yeah, it does. So we're going to miss, and that is... Archer. Archer.

Let me see. I am going to cast Mass Healing Word at third level. Sorry, Spawn. Sorry! Sorry!

Welcome to Archigade again. We're loud, sorry. Everybody's going to benefit from nine points of healing. It's my current HP on max HP. I don't know what I'm doing. I love healing. And then I am going to... I'm only hitting for 44 points, I'll be all right. I'm going to turn towards the raven creature and I'm going to cast Toll the Dead on him. And he's been hit, right? Yeah. He has to make a wisdom save.

Nine. Okay, he fails. He's gonna take 2d12 necrotic damage. Yes! A 12 and a 10, so 22 points of necrotic damage. Wow, holy shit.

As you all feel the word of Anubis closing up your wounds, and then Iris, you turn to this version of you holding her crook and, what weapon do you carry even? A crook and a vial. A crook and a vial, okay, cool. And you carry that as it all turns to you, and you hear the loud gong

of the bell. It starts to shift around as the head shifts from your six-eyed or even back into your cat head and all when you see yourselves, and then it's taking a little damage. With that, it's Felix's turn. Wow. Well, now I'll make my attack roll, and hopefully roll more than three points of damage. Oh, that's 13. 13 misses. I pass my turn. LAUGHTER

Fantastic. And then it flies off and hits the wall of the tomb. Hard zero. Oh, it would have been a 16. Do I move towards me for fuck's sake? Oh, Mary. Hopefully there's no more breath left in you. It's my turn. Oh, is it? Yeah, I just wanted you to move towards me on your turn, which you didn't do. I'm going to use my bonus action to attempt to shove the creature, which is an athletics contest. You can get to the middle of us. No, I'm not.

I'm trying to be within five feet of Capricci. So I can lose this advantage. That's five feet at night. You can move me then to be closer. I can't see from here. So it looked like I was not within five feet of Caprice. Sorry. So athletics contest. Natural one. So that'll not work. I'll just go ahead and make my two flail attacks. Uh,

I had plus one, no longer two, because thank you, Charisma. 16? 16 for what? Apologies. For my first attack? 16 barely hits, yeah. Because it swings. Man, I shouldn't roll in this fucking dice tray anymore. I swear to God. Three bludgeoning. Three bludgeoning. And then I'll do my other attack. Nice. There we go. That'll be a 25. And then...

A little bit better at six points of bludgeoning. Six points of bludgeoning as you slam in and it seems to be taking some damage, not a ton, but it's definitely doing the full attack as you're smashing into it. Okay, Lister, you're up. How does number six look? It's definitely not close to death. Okay, I'm going to run...

No, no, no, fuck me. So I'm gonna attack it and probably also just bonus attack it with my sperm. Your sperm? My sperm. Your sperm? Yeah, my sperm. So... 13. Yeah. 25 and 13. 25 and 13. 13 misses 25 minutes. Meh.

Seven damage. Seven damage as you smash into it with a spoon as it's looking rough, but it's still hanging on. And I'm gonna bonus attack it. Okay. I looked in the heat for a couple of minutes. Yes, you hit it sometimes. And that hits? That would hit.

Six damage. Six damage, it is barely hanging on if you smash into its ventral arm. And I'm gonna keep trying to for Furia blows! Okay, you need that. Fuck it up, one blow! Oh no! What is it? It's an amount of nine. Oh, yes, that would hit. 16? That would hit, yeah. Five damage. You punch into it and it disperses as it finally hits it. And then I'm gonna say, you're welcome!

I'm gonna use my last hit from the Fury of Blows on that one. You do that. Nice. That is some fury. Some flurry. Got it. I've never seen them. 14 hit. 14 to hit. Yeah. Okay. I lost my pen.

We have a history of that, so I just totally wish I wanted to get there. I got you. But other than that, you're welcome. We lost our DMs. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

- How much damage did you do? - What did you do? - She didn't do any damage. - Yeah, I ran up and just totally whipped. - Okay, totally, you ran up and you whipped it. With that, you will take two points of cold damage as the winter breeze around you. And with that, it's going to once again, hold up whatever weapon you see holding. I think everyone will get the curse of saving throw. - Which now everyone that is standing near me can get plus one, two with my charisma wind down. - 18. - 18 passes.

Natural 20. Pass. Plus, yeah, 26. We all pass. Oh, 15. I failed. 13 failed. 14. 14 passes. So Lufty's the only one that fails. Lufty's the only one that fails. So you're going to, you see yourself say, what is it?

Oh, we lost so much potential! I don't know how it works! Okay, you... You're a Dalian now. You lose two in constitution. Okay, that's fair. Oh, no, not health, it's constitution. But it does affect your max HP. Oh, and then it's going to make, as it's just failed, it's just going to try to make an attack on you, Lufthansa. And it's already advanced, right? Which means you no longer get a plus two to your constitution.

- Okay. - With that, it's Chela's turn. - I will lead in with double attack here. - So we're overriding your score here. - So it already has disadvantage how? - Oh, you can do that. - Yeah. So then what happens is it's going to automatically change everything for you. - It is a spiritual guardian. It's gonna mark set anyone besides Chela as disadvantaged. 'Cause he's like full tank. - Oh, so he activated that. - So basically whenever he hits something, it like schools with spirits and makes any disadvantage of attacking anybody else.

14 and 15. What is it now? 14, 15. As you swing both times and the Shimmering Figure, while still looking rough, is able to dodge your attacks. With that, it's Parisa's turn. Yeah, so he takes three Hen Psychic damage. Wait, did he try to attack me or somebody else? Because he's not disadvantage against me. I know, I know, I know.

I will... Herjit, you're doing a really good job for all of us. I just want to let you know that we all appreciate it. You get inspiration. Let's try this again. Let's try this again. Uh...

I used to be into S&M, bestiality, and necrophilia until I realized I was beating a dead horse. Oh!

- Tasha's hideous laughter. - Why? - That is hideous laughter. - Wisdom saving throw. - That is hideous laughter. - What? - It's a seven. It collapses, prone in a fit of laughter and it is considered incapacitated for the duration. - All of you see this spectral figure fall down laughing. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Nice. - That's fucking gross. - Fuck dear.

That was some fucked up shit right there. You're welcome, and I thank you. Okay, with that, sorry, it's Aria's turn. I'm going to... Does it fall prone? It falls prone. Incassidated means it can't do anything. No attacks of opportunity and nothing on its turn until it's solved. You're right, 100%. When someone hits it, does it stop laughing? Oh. That's a great question.

- I am going to-- - It has advantage if it's on the saving throw, but it's still at the end of its turn. - But not if you deal damage. Oh, okay, I see. - So you give it advantage on that throw if you attack it and hurt it, but whatever, like, it's just fine. - I'll hit it and do two points of damage. - The fact that it's prone means that everyone gets advantage, which is what I'm trying to enjoy. - As far as your turn, I don't know. - Yeah, I'm just waiting for Derek. - Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, I finished.

So I am going to cast Bless at a first level on Luffy, Toa, and Felix. Hey, what does that do? Bless everybody. You... Tell me I just added 1d4 to my attack roll. You roll a d4 to all of your attack rolls. Thank God. And saving throws. Thank God. Um...

No, I'm not going to do that because it would take its concentration. It would take away my beacon of hope. No worries. I can't let that go. So instead, I am just going to cast a healing word on myself because I am not feeling great. You feel the power of Anubis empowering, healing you and closing your wounds. And I'm going to say fuck it and I'm going to toll the dead on that asshole. It's a wisdom saving throw. Got it.

- 15. - That fails. - Okay. - That's the wrong one. Yes, oh my God, it's gonna be better. - If I roll a 14, I'm gonna be so upset.

- 23. - 23? - 23. - Okay. - I rolled 12 and 11. - As it told, it looks to be very, very weak. - That's awesome, holy shit. - Hanging on the edge here. - Well, in that case. - Ooh! - My better judgment is to say not to fireball, so I am just going to attack and use a firebolt. - Okay. - That's gonna be a miss. - Okay, the firebolt flies off. - That feels so bad. - That's it, Hershey, you're up.

Plus eight and I miss toys. Bonus action to try and knock it prone again. This doesn't even have particularly high AC. What do you want to do? Contest? Athletics contest. 23. 24. Oh, okay! Woo!

Oh, it's already prone. It's actually already prone. Oh, sorry. So close. But you hit it with your shield. You hit it with your shield. He didn't really do anything as a bonus action anyway, so I don't... So I'm going to make two attacks at advantage, right? Yes. That is what's meaningful. Oh, shit. Would I have been disadvantaged? No, but it's incapacitated, so it's... No, I don't think it's advantaged. Incapacitated just means that it just can't take actions.

I just didn't. Oh. Oh, maybe paralyze them. Whatever. But I just don't know which ones give advantage and which ones give disadvantage. Because you're ranged, it's different. Yeah. That's what I'm asking. So it's basically the exact opposite of what would work for Vandra. That's stupid.

So a 23 would hit. - 23 would hit, yeah. - So it's gonna take nine points of bludgeoning damage. - I don't do this. - Fuck! Yes, all right, so-- - Why did we put the screamer next to the microphone? - I know, I really shouldn't be right here.

Holy shit, okay, so as it's shifting in and out of old me, old Dakota, which is breaking my heart more than old me, seeing Dakota all rusted, considering I take such great care of her.

As soon as it's flitting back and forth, back and forth, and I see the seven eyes of the raven, for good measure, bonus action, punch it with my shield. So it knocks the head around one side, and I take the flail, and I swing it around so it hits all seven eyes, and kind of like bubbles, all of them are popping, going...

And then I'll sit on it. So you smash it down as you hold it down. It's laughing hysterically. You are starting to see that your own shape is now completely disappeared. It is no longer able to take shape. You just see this strange raven-headed creature with six eyes laughing and quaking and laughing hysterically as it smashes across. And its eyes all rupture and it dissipates and flies up and...

That is the end of the combat. - Woo! - Nice. - Well memed. - Well memed and dreamed. - Good job, guys. - So. - For sure. - Oh, for sure, Gary. - Oh, for sure. - As the silence settles over the room, as soon as you all see this creature dissipate, the cold of winter is gone. The room returns to normal. - Hmm. - The light

dissipating, you all feel a light come over you. And you feel, you hear a voice on the back of your mind that says, it's a female voice, almost rasping and croaking. And it says, "You are proudly beneath my shadows." And all of a sudden you feel this warmth, this blessing come over you. As you hear through the stairwell behind you, the as the doors open,

sunlight, or rather, moonlight shimmers in from the very top of the stairwell. And you feel as if you have the blessing of the Raven Queen. Wow. Interesting. What does that feel like? And does it do anything to our max HP? You all lose all of the negative effects of the light.

all dissipate. - Do we maintain the same hit points we were at, or does it just go to our max hit points? - So you maintain, but you do heal yourself a couple of times. - Okay. - Yeah. - So you can either short rest or use it. - I see. - So as the quiet returns, the shimmering all around you dissipates and you're alone. And you hear a voice call out from upstairs.

I knew all you could do it. Well done. As you hear the voice of the Archbishop call down you. I'm immediately running up the stairs to get the fuck out of here. I'm still glowing with light because of my sacred weapon. So hopefully the light has calmed you. Bye, guys!

You sprint upwards as you run up and you see Archbishop Zakaria standing there waiting for you. There's that same kind of half smile on his face. And he nods. He says, well, well done. I knew that you were all capable of it. Let's wait for the others, but it is really tight down there. I'm going to make sure. Can you open up that narrow passage a little bit and maybe install some torches, some ensconces, that kind of thing, it seems? I'm going to make sure Iris is okay.

I'll probably be the last one out. Perfectly fine, darling, but you look a little weak. Your healing did a lot, and I appreciate it.

It's not a problem at all. I just wanted to make sure that you survived. I'm glad. I mean, I always hate when there's like kind of two areas of combat. I can only really fuck up one guy. I feel terrible. I always have Lufthia at my back. She watches me when I cannot watch myself. Yeah. Oh, God, you're right there. Oh, yeah, I'm always here. Forget Mitchell. We should go meet up with Caprice. No, I completely agree. He was panicking unnecessarily. I'll go down the hallway and head up. Oh.

I'll hold up my flail to give it more light. I'll hide up. Okay. I'll be the last one. You all eventually make your way up as you see the Archbishop standing there. And he looks at all of you and says, "Well, now I know that you're worthy of meeting General Paradiso. I want to give you a token to show anyone that you are worthy and you've received your blessing."

And he hands out a small statuette of a raven to each of you. Oh, each have one? He's giving one to each of you. And he says, if anyone gives you trouble, show them this. Not everyone will find it equally appreciative of that, but it shows that anyone who values the word and the blessing of the Raven Queen, that you have her blessings.

Well, thanks. This is really quite an honor. You have earned it. All of you. Yeah, we have. You've encountered all of the domains of the Raven Queen, and she has seen it in her judgment to bless you. Out of curiosity, and this is a pretty personal question, but do you mind telling us a little bit about the memory you shared when you went through the blessing? That is intimate and personal.

- So this thing we can show to anybody. - And you all have a wondrous figurine of the Silver Raven. - Oh! - Is that what that is? - Heck yes. - But it's like, it actually behaves like the magic item, wondrous figurine. - Yeah. - Of the Raven? - Yep. - That's fucking awesome. - Bullshit.

figurine of wondrous power so i know that we've been playing for like over five hours now uh do i know that food is is on the table oh silver raven everybody enjoys that magical item thank you and uh yeah it should be um you all get that and it also has the role play benefits as well in addition so

You are all around the Archbishop Aloysius Zacharias as he's standing there looking very reserved, but with a half smile and he nods at all of you and he's just handed you your wondrous figurines of Silver Raven. And he says, well, if anyone asks you if the Raven Queen approves of you in her city or in her continent, that is your proof.

And so, I believe it will not be difficult to arrange a meeting with you and General Paradiso. Oh shit. Well, thank you very much. It means a lot to us that you've allowed us to enter into this trap, to prove that we may be able to attain the blessing of the Raven Queen. And it means a lot to me that she saw something in all of us. It appears she did.

And I will say, if it was not for the debt that I owed your father, I would not have been as likely to do it, but this is a small price to pay for what he's done for me. So you can tell him thank you yourself, I will tell him thank you for what he's done, and I'm glad that I was able to repay my debt. I'm very grateful that you were able to do that, and I...

We'll always speak highly of you to my father and to those in Siket. For you have done a great thing for the family of the Sands. Thank you. I'm glad I could help. But I'm not done yet. I would like to hear where all of you will be staying. Is it still in the Seven Heavens? Or will you be staying in Phlox Roost? Or will you be staying tonight? I'll try to arrange a meeting tomorrow evening.

We hadn't even gotten that far to be completely honest. We probably were going to head back to the seven heavens now that we have these statues. Do they help with the checkpoints? Well, if you are given trouble, you may be able to show it. You'll still have to provide your papers, but if you show your raven, it may make things a lot smoother. Not to interject, but it may be best that we just stay here and flux roost until tomorrow. That's probably the right move. Very well.

In memory, are we in memory's rest? You're in memory's rest, yeah. Sorry, yes. Oh, oh, do we know, though, that the general is in, which district the general is in? She's in the citadel of the... Okay, so not, all right, well, okay, then, yeah, it may just be best for us to head back to Falklands. I mean, we had a room we could easily extend our stay, and then we'd be close to, either way, we'd be close to the citadel. Well, if that is the case, I would enjoy the company walking back.

I mean, yeah. Thank you. If you want to hang out, we could play some games. I could teach you a few card games, that kind of thing. I appreciate games, but I have much to do in the cathedral. But I would gladly enjoy the company walking back. Thank you. Talking companions are harder to come by when you're at my station. It's very rare that people are even willing to have a pleasant conversation with me. They see the hat and my medals, and they're...

They cower. Only you, who seem to be not from around here, are dealing with information that's even higher than my eyes deserve. There are women that speak frankly with me, and it's refreshing. Do we know what he knows? Does he know nothing? You haven't told him anything. Yeah. Hmm.

Well, absolutely. Once we get to the Seven Heavens, if we could go around that way, could we... Flossers. I mean, as we go around, once we get to the Seven Heavens, could we make a pit stop for just a little bit so that we can just... I'm so sorry, I thought I saw a mouse. Out of character, do we... Because they know we were staying there, right? Or no? No. No.

There was one shop that I wanted to visit. Somebody picked us up from there. So I would say they probably know. Do you just mind if we stop by? Because yeah, his guy picked us up there. True. That is correct. Do you just mind if we stop by where we were staying previously? You don't have to come. Maybe a few of us just... That's fine by me. Toa, what do you need?

i'll just think we need to leave where to revale what we're doing yeah i left my ravioli and yeah you're right i can't let it go bad you did a sack of ravioli i did but i left it there that is horrific it's been over 24 years felix says what's your spaghetti policy don't touch it she forgot her spaghetti there must be a challenge don't go snacking

I honestly think at this point you should just leave it. I find that amenable. We appreciate it.

- Okay, I have an idea when we get there. I don't want to say anything yet. So let me know when we reach the seven heavens. - Well, let's just go. Congratulations once again. - Thank you. - Thank you. - He leads you all out of Memory's Rest back through the Garrison Corridor and into the seven heavens as soon as

These soldiers at any of the checkpoints see him, they immediately stand aside and salute. And they don't even look twice at any of you when they see that you're with him. This is, I'm sorry, is this Brill or the Archbishop? Okay. Yeah, he's the Archbishop. Aloysius. Aloysius Paris.

And so when you arrive in the seven heavens, he stops and says, well... I'm going to lean into Toa and say, or to whoever's listening, I have a way to leave a message. Oh, is that right? And I'm just going to nod. Would anyone like to come with me? Yeah, I'd love to. I'll go with Toa, and we'll be right back. Get my vibe.

- Yes, yes, I understand the spaghetti policy. - Can you use your mage hand to get it? I think it's probably festering. - Duly noted. - Yeah, Fitz Ness, I thoroughly believe she's talking about a tackle sack of ravioli. - The queen bee, we're gonna head towards the queen bee. And while we're walking, once we're far enough away, I say, "Hey Felix, what's ravioli?"

It's code work. I'll explain later. Let's just keep moving. So we're going to head to the Queen Bee. You do that. You make your way to the Queen Bee, and you see that it's getting late now, and the brothel's very crowded. All of the girls are preoccupied with Johns or potential Johns.

Do we see Revali or Madame Delphine anywhere? You do not see either of them. I'm gonna go up to the room with Tela's assistants, the room that we were staying in, and on the wall, I'm gonna take 10 minutes to cast a Losery Script. Okay.

you do that i don't know how that works uh it is basically a ritual um and it says i write on parchment paper some other suitable writing material so i guess i have to have a piece of paper and just leave it in the room i can't write on the wall but in unit with a potential illusion that lasts for the duration which is 10 days

Blah, blah, blah.

So basically, I just want to leave a secret message for him that only Revali can read, telling him what happened and where we're going and that we're okay. And it'll last for 10 days. I set it on the nightstand and to everybody else, it's incomprehensible. But to him, it would be calm. Sounds good.

That's so much better than anything I could have done. I could have just written a note, and anybody could have walked in and read it. But the important thing is that you were here while I was doing that, and if we needed you to protect me, you could snap some necks. That's right. So you played your part. I did. So Revali will know where we are, because I assume you let him know. Yeah, I let him know what happened. Yes, I let him know basically everything, because it's secret, right? Unless somebody has a way to hack my illusion, which...

For the purposes of where we are in a flop house for folly will probably it'll probably be secret enough for him to just read it Yeah, so I let him know everything Are you finding leaving a place is a little bit discreet but a place where you think you kind of like on the nightstand right? It just looks like gibberish to anybody else who looks at it Would he understand that it looks like gibberish to other people or would you be like someone left a fucking letter in common? I could I could

could write that as part of, like, this is magic. Like, let him know. Do that, then. Right, right. I would cover all my bases as somebody who is of the military and all that good stuff. Before we leave, we have to get Lufty's Ravio. That doesn't exist. What do you mean, doesn't exist? That was a codename for our good friend Captain Freewing.

Oh, because it's like Ravalli. Well, the Archbishop's expecting us to walk back with some ravioli. We've got to drink something. I'm going to bank on the fact that he doesn't know what ravioli is. I guess I don't know what ravioli is, so I wouldn't know if you would know if ravioli. That checks out. We're going to chalk it up to coffee beans and green beans and carry on our way. All right, then. You know what, Felix? If you say so...

Did we enjoy a group rest during our walk? Yeah, so we're just gonna head back to the group. Okay, is there anything that you guys are discussing while they're doing this? I am Frodo Baggins with the one ring fiddling with Toa's ring nervously. Okay. Just like putting it on and off. Like I haven't like used the, I haven't activated it at all yet, but I'm just like, eyes are kind of darting along. Yeah, my precious. Nervously waiting for the group to get back and just...

Averting my gaze and trying to not be suspicious. Okay. Aloysius. Is it alright if I call you Aloysius? You may, yes. Are you originally from Zentra or Striga in general? I am. I was born and raised in a city. I also am a city boy. I'm from Galtica myself. How does one become what you are? I started as an altar boy from as long as I can remember and

I found strength in the life of the cloth. And I have been very grateful to receive the blessings and receive the support and respect and admiration of my peers and the rest of the faith. Indeed. You seem strong. That's good. Thank you. Thank you. Eventually you all reconvene.

and he guides you back through to Floch's Roost. Although the cathedral's up ahead, he makes a pit stop and drops you off at the New Bahama, where you can stay. And as he stops at the door, he doesn't enter, he says, "Well, I appreciate the offer of games,

I still have much work to do this evening. It is late, but I'll be burning the midnight oil. Send us a message if you're ever interested in taking us up on that. I will. Thank you again, sir. Thank you. And after your meeting with General Paradiso, I would very much like to speak. I would very much like to do that as well. I have many questions. I am eager for that meeting. Sleep well, all of you. Good night. Welcome to the flock.

And he turns and he drives, rather walks away. He doesn't drive. He's still out of the camera. He's like, hey!

Who got the keys to the Jeep? His mother's Ford Winston. Where the fuck is that Uber? Uber that shit 15 years ago. Man, a guy of that stature driving a Ford Celica. That's so crazy. I drive my mother's Ford Winston. Oh!

He peels away at his toilet and can't breathe. No, no, he's so high up. It's like he probably got a Tesla or something. They don't pay well. They don't pay well. Oh my god. So you go all back in and take over your room. Could you point the mic more level? I'm sorry. Was that my foot? Oh god, that is so fucking funny. There we go. Jesus. Oh my god.

Whatever common area you choose to congregate in, you're there. What time is it? It's late. It's probably like 10, 11. Oh, well. I'm sorry. No, I was going to say, I'm so excited we're part of a flock. He gave us like a name. Yeah, what did that mean exactly? Don't get too excited about it. I don't want to dampen your spirits, but...

I'm not sure that all this is cracked up to be what it is. That's all I'm saying. I'm going to walk up to you in like complete serious face and put my hand on your shoulder. I'm going to say, welcome to the flock. If only you were the first person to ever say that to me.

Are you all right? Who's just so stiff in it? She's been possessed. She's just very good at impressions. Oh my god, where did her sugar go? That strange dwarf has returned. I'm just kidding. Do we have anything to do? I want to go to bed. Frankly, I don't give a flock.

I'm with Caprice on this one, and if you have a few moments before you go to bed, I have some questions about the abyssal language that I, if I could run by you.

I have some studying to do, but just, if you can wait till morning, it's not, it's not... Uh, no, I'll answer your question. What do you got? Well, I don't have anything I can say. It's not going to be another vegetables incident. Yeah. You discuss the abyssal, some of the ins and outs, and you give him some pointers. All right. Hello is kulak. And, uh... Kulak? But where the bathroom is is kulak. So it's very...

- Oh, no wonder that one Minotaur looked at me weird. - Oh my God. - So good. So what are you guys doing? Are you going to bed? - I'm gonna go straight to bed. - Yeah, I think we're all exhausted. - Okay, you all wake in the morning. - Long rest. - And you enjoy long rest.

- Yeah, I'm with you on that one, Iris. - You awake feeling incredibly well rested. That was a very, despite it being just a single encounter, a single trial, it took a lot out of you in a way that you thought that standard combat couldn't. It felt like just the threads of fate were being pulled in every which way and it felt very good to sleep that off.

You all awake. It's morning. And you're free to do whatever you like. So the meeting's, I guess we're all in the same, or half of us are in the room. I'll go down to the main area. You can go to the main area. Is there any tea? You can order some tea. I would like to do that. Not to do.

You order some tea, there's some breakfast available. We'll say like for the group it's like five silver to get everything that you need. Alright. Well I'm happy to pay my portion. I'll pay. Or six silver, one silver each. Ayyy. That makes it easy. For whatever you'd like. How much for coffee?

I think it's supposed to be just one silver for everything you want, unless you're just getting liquids. If you want breakfast, it's one silver. I do enjoy breakfast. Mmm, breakfast, yes. That's what I like. So we have a meeting this evening, is that right? Correct. So do we just...

I mean, I'm a bit concerned that we haven't seen Revali in like two and a half days. Well, to be fair, we haven't been back to the Seven Heavens except for the message that we left him. And he doesn't have any way to contact us except for this sigil that he left. So as long as this thing doesn't go off, we can assume that he's safe and okay. Does it have a ring? Did he ever say it has a ring? Oh, he didn't mention that. I trust that he wouldn't give us this if it was useless outside of a certain distance. I mean, he knows what he's doing.

Well, I think we just relax and... I don't want to draw too much attention to us around the town. I mean, I guess we could... We have these things now. And I pull up my silver raven. Um...

I guess we can more freely move between districts, but he did say we need to just... Just don't go back to Skyreach. We need to stay away from Skyreach. Yes, yes, yes. And if anyone needs me, I'm going to be in the room, the gentleman's room, studying. Don't hesitate to come get me. But until this evening, I don't really have anything I want to do. I don't want to show my face, and I'd like to lay low and study. So just let me know if anyone needs anything. And I'm going to take my tea and head up to the room. D'Arcy, you arrive, and you're able to discuss whatever you want.

Why are you looking at me? You look like you might be hungry. Oh no, not at all darling. No? No. I kinda miss Thomas. Don't you? I don't really want to talk about it. My heart aches. That's what they said. Don't talk about it. Her heart aches. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say it. Because I felt like every morning we woke up and he was kind of part of our group, you know? But he's safe now. Oh my god, I just had a realisation.

- No wonder those disgusting pajamas smell like that. I was using it as his nappy. - Oh, unfortunate. - Well, my nose is pretty much accustomed to anything at this point, so that's probably why I didn't notice. So I guess I'll go take care of this. So I'll just take my back and go upstairs and spend like the next hour. - As she goes to her back, she finds out that most of the things in there have been used as a nappy. - That's fucked up. - Roll like 400 deception checks and like dex checks and sleight of hands checks.

I don't think she would be able to see through any of it because her wisdom is literally a plus one. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Oh yeah, well, I'm glad we could put it all to good use, you know? So, and then I'll just, I'll spend the next hour like scrubbing my fucking pack and my piggy butt pajamas. I love those so much. Piggy butt. Piggy butt.

- Well, Hesha, do you mind if I borrow the ring just for the day? - Oh yeah, might as well take it off so I don't get any child feces on there. There you go. - So I want to sit in tune with the ring and then go to the Flox Roost district. - That's where we are. - Four Winds district and just look around for like any Goliaths. - Okay. So, why do you need the ring then? Mysteries.

I'm cleaning baby poop, so what do I know? You're the one upstairs. No, yeah, I'm going. So you're going to Four Winds. Would anyone else like to come? Because my paper says Siegbert, I don't want to be like a Goliath named Siegbert. You know, I don't have anything else to do today. I'll join you. All right. Anyone else? Yeah, I'm cool. I'm going to stay upstairs. I'm cleaning diapers.

So I'll just, I'll turn into Bert. Diapers. All of your stuff. And we would go to the four winds and I was going to sort of like walk around and just see if I can get any kind of evidence of Bert is back, baby. Let's go. Let's go. Of Goliath or anyone that might be from my tribe or anything like that. Okay. Just make a general investigation check.

I'll be looking for a magic potion shop. Okay. Oh, no. Two. Two. So you look around, and as you're kind of keeping an eye out, you don't see...

You don't immediately find any Goliaths, at least at first. And Caprice make an investigation check for me. I would say that with the time is taken, you eventually find a shop called the Black Cauldron that sells magical potions. I love this movie. I love that movie. Thanks. And this is in the four ones, right? I'll go inside and see what they have for sale in the form of potions and or potions.

You find that they have healing potions. And they have, what is the fucking price of all of those? There's-- Sorry to quickly shop. I'm just gonna say we're gonna-- There's cost to it. I have it on a slip of paper that's with Renee. I apologize for springing this on you in such a sudden manner.

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And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you! 50 gold for, uh, common, and then 100, 200, 300. Uh, hold on, let me make sure. That's what I, what you remember I printed. Potion of healing is 50 gold, yep. Uh, greater is... I just want to make sure. We haven't gotten that much gold.

I only have 470. I've got 335 because I just spend a lot of my early gold on extra spell books and shit. Oh, to transcribe. I'll go in and I will... We don't have gold like that. With 300 of my gold pieces, I'll purchase six healing potions of the basic variety and I'll just put them into my pack and then I will leave and Toa can do whatever he wants to do. I would like to purchase...

I'll buy four Enum Potions. Okay. You can only buy three. One of these is for you, buddy. Oh, is it? Yeah. Then I'll buy six. Okay. You buy six. 50 gold each. 5150, 450, and 1350, I believe.

So, you buy the potions and you eventually walk around and as you're... it's difficult to find any Goliaths. You remember seeing one walking away, but you know that you have to get back, you're not really sure when the meeting is going to be, and there's nothing immediate that jumps. And as you're walking, however,

and you feel like you're giving up and you're ready to leave. You pass down one of the alleys that you hadn't really passed by and you hear the strong clanging of metal on metal and you pass a very small blacksmith shop that's called Rurard and Steel and you see a huge humanoid male

slate gray skin, completely shirtless, covered in tattoos, just wearing a heavy apron from the waist down. As he's hammering away on what seems to be a huge axe. - A huge axe man? - How do you spell Rerardin? R-E-R-A-R-D-E-N. - Oh, I was really close. I thought I heard you wrong. - I'll just quickly run up and I'll say, "Hey man,

Human. No. And then I'll realize that I look like a human. Oh, I mean, hey, um...

Not a shop you got here. Well, thank you. You didn't care to purchase something. I'm Bert. Are you... I'm Ronan, yes. That was my next question. If your name was the same as the sign, and it is, the name on the side... Is that what you said? That's what you just said. That is what I said, yes. Sorry, my mind went all...

He's a little human. Hi, my name is Capriccio de Sesto. It's a pleasure to meet you. How are you doing? It's a pleasure to meet you. How are you? And what kind of goods do you have for sale? We have weapons. We have axes. Just axes? I can custom make other things, but I'm best at axes, so that's generally what I stick to. Well, it's curious. I don't see many Goliaths around Zintra. Where are you from?

If you don't mind me asking... I am from Yulong. Oh, from Yulong. Oh, alright. Um, my best friend is a goliath, and he's... He's not from Yulong, but he's from the Karni Islands. I don't know if you've heard of them. I know of it, yes. Have you happened to see any other goliaths around Zintra lately? Goliaths? No, I'm a strange sight around here. I may have seen one or two in passing, but no one's come into my shop.

Well, how much are your exes?

What is an axe? Ten gold? Ten gold! Do you have any really special axes, or are they all just axes? They're all regular axes. Do you silver weapons, friend? I do. Oh. How much would be silvering a rapier, for example? 150 gold pieces. Oh, that's a little bit... Would you accept a song for 150 gold pieces? Jesus, a song? Make a reception check at disadvantage. A persuasion check at disadvantage with like a 45 DC. Ha ha!

Okay. Well, almost 45. We'll go with a 17. Song? Gold is what I trade in. Oh, I mean, it's a really great song. You could sing it to your patrons and they would buy more and, you know, whatever. It's fine. I don't care. I'll listen to the song and maybe I'll decide. No, no, it's all right. It's all right.

Um, well, I appreciate it. I just, you know, wanted to let you know that, uh, my name is Bert. All right, well, thank you. And good luck in your business.

shop. Business shop. Well, goodbye. Thank you. Bye. If you need an axe, let me know. We'll let you know if we need something silvered or an axe. Goodbye. I love Javis so much. Did you get everything you wanted out of that, Bert?

Yes! Can we go now? Yeah, I think that this place is... Yeah, alright. Let's go back! Aww.

Okay. So as you make your way back, you're in your room, you're in the room. Yep. I'm studying. Yep, I'm in my room. I'm scrubbing all my stuff so it's clean and no longer smelling like baby poop. Okay. So as you, the three of you arrive back,

at the New Bahamut, you see a, you see that there are a number of different tables that are filled in this kind of restaurant area. And there's someone in the back that has a very wide brim hat and a green cloak and a coat with a collar popped up.

kind of looking down and as the three of you enter. - Is his name the Fonz? - Yeah, it is. - Captain the Fonz. - Captain the Fonz. Captain Little the Fonz. And it's a pasta brand, it's a pasta brand ravioli. - Oh my God. - It's Ralph Galfeer.

So, the hat looks up for every single person that enters, and you see the eyes meet, and you see Revali Freeway sitting in this booth looking at you. He is the Fonz. He's looking like his alias, the Fonz. He's looking like a Smokin' Hot Antonio Banderas, like a snack in the corner. Ew. His name is... His name is really

It's a little fun story. His name is Lubin. His atlas is Lubin. Lubin. I wrote them all down. Hey, Lubin. Where have you been? Oh, we've been in the Four Winds doing some shopping. Okay. Did you find anything? What have you learned? I only knew you were here because of the script that Felix left. Brilliant idea. We've had a very successful time since we left you. We met with...

Aloysius Sicarius. Okay. And we convinced him to let us accept the blessing of the Raven Queen. Okay. We went and we experienced ourselves beating onto ourselves, and it was a little twisted, but you know what? We, uh... That's just a Tuesday, Caprice. Jesus. I don't have Mage Hand. LAUGHTER

He's got two thumbs and has a mage hand. This guy. Oh, shit. Let's not go into that chapter. But we were able to successfully impress the Raven Queen enough that we have her blessing. We now have these little statuettes. And they also are wondrous in figuring quality. Yeah.

Well, I'm glad we were able to secure the meeting with Paradiso. We're going to be meeting her tonight. Well, that's good, because I slipped outside of the city. Oh. I started scouting around in the forest. How did you get out? I mean, shit, how did you get out? I got to run to the bathroom, so just you tell Caprice I'll be back. I'm not going to my room. What did you get out of it? Don't tell me. Tell Caprice. My pleasure.

- I wanna go up to turn back into Toa and then come back down. - I got a new identity and from my contacts, it cost me a lot of gold, but they let me out and I scattered around the forest and the horn legion is on the move. - Oh. - They are marching on to Zentra. - Oh God.

What an inconvenience. Those fucking legions. I hate Mondays. Aww. No, no, you're getting a virus. Sorry. Yeah, no, that's terrible news. Thank you so much. Have a good day. We're all fine here now. How are you? We're the rest of the group.

I don't know if you knew that I'm here. He knows that you were Burt when

Now I'm Tua, is all I'm saying. He's also here. I don't know where... Felix is in the room studying like he does, and I think Iris is probably right here, too. I was in my room. You know where the rooms are. Yeah, we need to go up and grab all... Why don't we discuss in a room? You can join us. Let's enjoy the privacy for a room. We'll all gather. We come and get you, and we pull you into the room, and so then we're all in the gentleman's room with Felix and...

And I'll knock on the ladies room and I'll say, "Hey, hey, hey, are you... um, ravioli's here." That's awful. No, I did not want them to bring that terrible bag of ravioli. I assume it's no ravioli, right? Well, Felic, that's what Lufty calls...

The volley! Oh, oh my god, all of you are idiots. And I'm gonna get out of the room.

I follow them because I have just walked out of the restroom, I imagine. It's like across the hall or something. Yeah, yeah. The bathhouse. The bath, yeah. So I see them all like scampering down the hallway and I'll be like, oh, and I've got like my pile of laundry and I'm just like quietly following behind them and I will enter the men's room. Welcome to the men's room. Welcome to the guitar center. Welcome to the guitar center.

So you're all on their list. So basically the whole group barges in on you. Captain, you found us. I did. Thank you for leaving that note. I appreciate it. It's the least I could do. I just want to make sure you knew that we were okay. I'm glad. Is there a window or...

Yeah, there's a small window. Or a hearth. Is there a fireplace? Not in the room. There's a fireplace in the main room. While they're talking, I'm going to take my laundry and just sheepishly hang up my piggy butt pajamas to dry and just start hanging them over various parts of the church. Is that your only onesie? He don't want to talk about it. All right. Welcome, Orc Clan. Thank you, Orc Clan. Thank you for the follow-up. Thank you, Orc Clan.

So, I told the rest of the group, but I snuck out of the city and I did some scouting around the Clockwood and the Horn Legion. They're moving and they're marching on the Zetron. I don't know how long. It's only a matter of days. Days? This is less time than we thought. Exactly. I don't know how they're moving so fast. We need to convince everyone to take up arms right away. What did you see? Are they just walking real fast? Or are they like...

What is he doing? I say, I've got a stroll. LAUGHTER

I was not aiming to the... He just walked through your face. This is a fake question. I didn't do it. They walked through your face. Do they have their parasols? No, they're a bunch of fucking force controls. Shut up, everybody. Fanny packs. Power walking. Yeah, boots of speed. Are they rollerblading through the forest? The guy who was the man.

- Air 176, that's the number to my heart. - Oh my God, thank you for the call. - I didn't want to get close. The last time I tried to get too close, I almost died while you were in the labyrinth. But the trees are being felled in their path and they're practically galloping.

as they're not even navigating the force. They're just tearing it down and burning it as they make their way. They're just cutting straight through. They're cutting straight through. That seems vast. And I don't know if it's those machines that they built, the plans that you all found. That could be it. I mean, do they have enough soldiers or men to even take the city? It's so well defended.

Well, the only thing I'd be worried about, and I apologize for stepping in here, is that if they have somebody on the inside, they may just get in without any resistance. There's no resistance. The city's just sitting duck. There's no defense. Should we go, like, and shut down that tunnel that we came through?

I mean, I think that we might want to alert people to the fact that the tunnel exists if they're going to be coming through that tunnel. I think that's just going to get us in trouble. I don't think we have to tell anybody it's us. And it's only one tunnel. We knew from the Infernal Notes that it's just one lab that was compromised. We don't know how many more there could be. I mean, that's a fair point, but how many sectors are there? Eight? Did we assume that there were eight labyrinths or just four? We don't know. You just heard the southern labyrinth. Yeah, we don't know. Okay, we don't know.

I agree that maybe we need to alert somebody, but maybe it would be best to meet with Paradiso first.

Yeah, I think we just would. I absolutely need to convince her right away that this is a problem. That is probably our best bet, and that's just my bet. Well, we need to have all of our evidence. Do we have it all on us? I have a lot of everything that I have, the things that Caprice gave me, I've got the infernal letters. We have the blueprints. Did we take the editor's notes or no? I don't think so. I didn't even know about them. I didn't take the editorialized notes. I should have taken them. No, I thought we did take them, but I mean, I was on the other side of the room, so I didn't see it. I don't think we did either.

I mean, I think either way, this should hopefully help us prove that we aren't mine. So all we can do is go as soon as we can. I know we're waiting for... Are we waiting for an escort? Is that what it was? They said they were going to come get us? Okay. Captain, if there's anything we can do in the meantime, I know that our meeting is soon, but we'll try to help. The best we can do is meet with her as quickly as possible.

And we'll definitely tell her that, what you witnessed, since she'll probably be more keen to trust us because we've been through the blessing of the Raven Queen. No offense. I don't know if you have or whether you're not. And maybe we don't mention his name. We just say we have a contact. We have a contact. As long as she's not compromised. I mean, we could start talking to her and she could be like, oh, that's super great. And you're dead. Were they past or still approaching the labyrinth entrance? Were they far? No.

Do you know, did it look like they were going beyond it? They have a force that's heading directly to the city. So it doesn't look like they're sneaking in. Well, I don't know how many massive thousands, tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands. Oh my God. Might or not. Can I rewind just a little bit? Instead of staying in the room today, can I go find a gem? We just do it really quick. I go find a gem shop and I just want to buy two diamonds worth 300 gold. Okay.

I'll say you find, I think I even have a shop name. Why don't we throw in some flavor here? Some flavor town? I have flavor town. Take flavor town. Where's my Google Drive? There it is. You go to a shop.

And it is called something that's probably pretty interesting. Like the Diamond Cellar Extraordinaire. No, it's actually not going to be that. She went to Jared. Yeah. She went to Jared. She went to Jared. Welcome to Jared's. Oh, Jared. Oh, the Dusty Diamond. The Dusty Diamond. I knew I had one. I knew I had one. There is a gem shop.

I would say that you probably weren't too far behind the rest, and the dusty diamond, you were able to purchase two of them. Perfect. It is exactly how much gold it says it is on the tin? 300. 300. And you eventually, so you've done it. Yes. And you arrive back. For 300 apiece? Mm-hmm. Damn, you rich. Holy shit. I have no money left, but it was better that than nothing. I was rich as hell. Well, not anymore, but it was a lot. I don't know. You must have started with a lot more gold. No.

- Well, not a lot more, but I also didn't spend any gold like everyone else did. - I had to start off with less gold than I was given based on my shit, but anyway. - So you've done that. And he shakes his head and says, "I don't think that there's, "if they don't lock down the tunnels "and if they don't meet head on before they get to the city, "I don't know what chance we have." - That's my concern.

Well, this is like a very secure big wall city. So there's some chance, but we need to convince people. We need to change hearts and minds here. I think in a place like this, there's anything I learned growing up here. It all comes from the top down. It all comes from the head of the raven. It comes from Zarn.

himself. So we go to Paradiso, we convince her, and she convinces Zurn. That's our best bet, correct? If she's willing. I mean, it's our only shot. We may be, like you said, we may be walking dead into a trap. I'm with you guys. I know we ran last time, but we don't have any choice anymore. That's exactly right. If we head into the fire here, I've got your back, and that's it. That's all we can do. Well...

Caprice and I each got six healing potions. Oh, yeah. Everyone gets one. Enjoy a healing potion. How much did this cost? Everybody gets one more. No, no, no, please. If you want to chip in, I mean... No, I don't have much reason to have gold, so if I can please compensate you for this, please. Well, they were 50 each, but... Then here, and I hand you 50 gold.

I unfortunately will not be partaking in the healing potions. I'm slowly running out of funds. I cannot provide anything for it, but I did stop by and purchase two diamonds. They are the components that I need to

ask Anubis to bring any of you back from the dead should we get into very dark times. This is exactly the reason why we're getting you the healing potion. This is free on the house. It's a gift from me to you. I appreciate it. And they're just straight healing potions? Yeah, 1d4 plus 4. Take my healing potion and I'll give you 50 gold and then that pays for my share of the two diamonds. I think that if it's a group effort you're going to save one of us. Take 50 gold. As I told Caprice

If you end up using one of those diamonds on me, I have no reason, minus my studies and studying magic, I really have no use for gold, so I'm happy to compensate you in any way, especially if it's for the benefit of the party. Well, I greatly appreciate that. Toa, I will not be taking your gold. It is... I'm honored to travel alongside...

All of you. And I'm honored to put my gold towards your lives. Thank you. So that is my gift to you. Are we doing a rapid quaffing? Yep. I will, however, partake in both of those potions. Please enjoy. I'll take two health potions. You gain two health potions. Oh, one or two? One each. Everyone gains one. Because they both bought six, so you just get one. Or two from each. I'll give you 100 gold. Two, yeah. Or should you give me 50 gold? Two total. Sorry. Yeah, 50 each.

I'll give you both 50 gold each. Okay. Oh, you don't need to pay me back. No, I insist, Caprice. You're too nice. You should have some money. Hopefully we don't need to use any of that. But if you do have a meeting with Paradiso, then that may be the best chance that we have. But the stakes are dire that, I mean, I may even be wrong. Maybe that they could be less than a day out. I don't know. They're moving so fast. I saw the giants with massive horns all practically running.

to the forest. Well, hopefully they'll be tired by the time we get here. I would suggest using any inside knowledge that you have, any context that you have, to try to start spreading the word safely. But keep yourself safe, and then all we can do is go meet with Paradiso and hope for the best. That's not a bad idea. Perhaps I can...

have contacts in the districts that I do, where I do know people. Maybe have them keep an eye out for where barns or stables where there might be more hatches leading to labyrinths. - That's a smart idea. - Any knowledge, even if it might be rumors, is better than nothing. - Okay. - Protect the people. - Agreed. Okay, I'm gonna head out then. Good luck and I hope you convince them. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Don't die on me.

I still got the sleep mitt. If we do, I will keep them on this plane. Appreciate it. I lost one squad, I can't lose another. Good luck. He pulls up his hood, puts his hat down, and he makes his way out of the room and leaves. You probably feel like you only have an hour, a little bit less than an hour before someone comes to get you. Is there anything else you guys want to do?

I always make sure that all of my shit's on me. I have it all just in case. Oh yeah, I mean, I would do the same. I'd go to my room and pack everything up and be like, this is go time, baby. I'm going to pack all my stuff up and strap it to Lufty's back.

Except for my one little pack that I keep on around my waist. It has my components and stuff on it. Okay. I'm going to find a hearth and try to dry my stuff as quickly as possible while still having everything on me. I would say that you easily are able to dry everything and get everything ready to go. I'm writing down songs in my songbook, and I'm putting on the last finishing touches on what I think could be a big hit in forming the people of the Horned Legion. Got it. Okay.

You do all of that. You all congregate in the main area, and it's not much longer before you see the door darken, and you see Archbishop Zacharias himself step into the tavern. And he looks at all of you, and he says, "Well, are you ready to go?" Yeah. "Yeah." "Let's do this, thanks." Let's do this.

Well, let's go. And he's sort of leading you to the city. And he points up ahead at the elevation that rises up, the massive inner walls and the rock formation where this massive citadel is built.

And you know, you saw the cathedral was huge, the sepulcher was huge, there seems to be a ton of huge structures, but this citadel is the largest structure you've ever seen, including yourself, Caprice. Living in Zantara. I mean, in Kaltika. - The greatest city in the world. - Probably still the largest city in the world, but no structure or fortress or anything like this is remotely close to anything that you've seen. - Wow.

You approach the main gate, and you've seen some of these gates off to the side as you were making your way around the city. You had to. And you've seen that there are rows and rows and rows and rows of guards and soldiers. As you walk up ahead, there is a heavy number of artillery installments and tons of siege weaponry on these inner walls and soldiers patrolling with huge crossbows. And...

rogue figures holding books, which you assume to be magic users of some kind, and the occasional person holding a staff and a figurine that might be clerics of the Raven Room. They're all patrolling around this. And the closer you get, you see this massive...

iron gate, steel gate, as you approach the, you hear voices calling out and they say, oh, it's Icarus, open the gate. And as soon as they see him, they began opening and you see the ch-ch-ch as this massive gate collar opens down in front of you. As Icarus grabs the Burmese hat and tips it at the soldiers that are up on the wall.

As he steps forward, all the soldiers are saluting him. And he continues to walk through with the group of them. All the soldiers are just keeping their eyes forward as you walk through rows and rows of them. And then you hear the heavy shake of the gate drop behind you as you are in the inner portion of the city, staring directly up at the Citadel of the Queens Conclave. - This is incredible.

As you get closer, you hear an incredible din above you. As you get closer, you realize it is the cacophonous croaking of ravens. As you look up, and there just flocks, swarms and swarms of ravens flying all around this massive city, all around you. And every ramp coming out of windows flying, roosting all over you.

It almost looks like there's a dark cloud over this citadel. As you make your way up the winding path, up the path through the rock formation, up into the huge gate,

And you see that there's a number of soldiers once again and artillery installments on the different parts of this citadel. And once again, the voices call out as soon as they see Sicarius and they open the gate.

and you stare inside to a grand hall as the gate opens. And you see that there's just huge torches and braziers all throughout this as the gate opens and you all step in. The din of the ravens and the soldiers crying out behind you is silenced as the gate closes behind you. You see smooth, polished black marble

Incredibly, perfectly forged steel plating on all of the walls, heavy stonework in the foundations. And there, it's dark, it's incredibly well lit, but just the sheer darkness of all the material that this is built with is, it's still a very kind of dark and gloomy place. You continue to walk through and as soon as you step inside,

uh, Zecarius turns to all of you and says, I would suggest not making eye contact with anyone that looks to be too self-important. It may end up poorly for us.

I'll just put my hood up and stare at the ground. Oh yeah, I'll just stare at the ground. Hat pulled even farther down. I'll adjust my glasses. Out of curiosity, what are we risking if that happens? Just disrespect and potential battle? I nudge Caprice. I actually am curious of that as well, for where I come from, it would be significantly rude of them to not be willing to look me in the eye. They're... I don't know if you know of internal politics...

with a military where you come from, it's a cut. - No, not at all. - Well, here the generals, the generals of the eyes do not care very much for each other. - Oh, shit. - And there's a lot of strife. He says, "Well, we do not want to be, "if we are an important business, "and if we're an important business for one, "and they don't like the look of strangers. "I don't know if you've seen the papers,

But there's no shortage of people in Zantra that hate all outsiders. Anyone not from Korovaki, those that hate those that weren't born and raised in Zantra. Shit. So this is just look straight ahead, look busy, look hurried, and I'll guide you to General Paradiso. Confidence, everybody. Let's go. So as you make your way through great halls,

that then split into narrower passageways, off that seemingly make their way in a circular structure all around this keep. You wind through these narrow passages as you hear the heavy echoing of footsteps all around you as battalions of highly decorated, it seems like a leap guard,

making their way through, patrolling. You see the occasional mid-level officer that seems to have varying degrees of similar medals and decoration that the Archbishop has. All walking through, many of them looking self-important. Everyone that you've seen here has been human. You notice that there's been various races out in the city of Zentra, but everyone within here has been a human.

And as you make your way through the halls, you go up one flight of stairs, another flight, and you climb and you climb and you climb until you get very close to what you assume has to be the top of the Citadel.

and you see the very narrow windows looking out. And you would say, if you were on such serious business, you'd say that this is a breathtaking view of the city. Every single glimpse that you get, you just see the massive...

sprawling civilization below you. And you get a bird's eye view of it in which very, very few individuals get a chance to see. As we're passing windows, I won't slow anybody down, but can I try to glance out to see if I see any rustling trees? Fire, smoke...

- Whoops. - Nine. - It's difficult to see, you're passing so quickly and these windows are so narrow to make it more defensible. - And this thing's got a huge, too, the distances from the conclave. - Yeah, so, and you remember this is surrounded by like these kind of rocky areas and the fields beyond that and then the block wood. - That's right. - So like you just see the very, very, very tops of the trees very far away. It's like basically almost on the horizon.

And as you're making your way through, you get to the final landing on the staircase. And he says, "This is where the eyes generally are." Let us make our way quickly to Paradiso. And you begin to make your way quickly. And as you're making your way around the corner, you hear loud, slow footsteps. And you see a shadow cast along the wall.

And you see an individual turn the corner and head in your direction. It is a human man that seems to be not even quite middle-aged. And it is a man of almost perfectly chiseled features. If you could point out a gorgeous... If you could use the word gorgeous to describe someone in the city, it would describe him.

perfectly slipped back blonde hair, not a single one out of place. You see that he's wearing a uniform that far outshines that of the Archbishop himself. That seems to be a combination of a military uniform, but also heavy leather armor and perfectly polished boots, perfectly polished armor, and these piercing,

piercing blue, almost silver eyes as you all kind of barely make eye contact and you see that this man walks and you see barely on his chest tons of medals but then one very prominent of all an eye. Shit. Red. With a pitch black pupil. Mmm.

If I had to make a guess which one of the eyes we're looking at right now. Is it secret?

- No. - Maybe, could be. - I don't know what information that you would be able to use in order to deduce. - I mean, 'cause I had asked if I had ever seen pictures of any of them and you said no. - Yeah, no, it's not. - Right, I'm looking at this guy and I'm like, okay, it's one of the guys. Does he look like any of the names that I remember? Like if I'm just trying to take a name and like attach it to a face in a bizarre way. - Why don't we say-- - We know the eyes. - Make an intelligence check. - I'm gonna be a 15.

It's very difficult to tell, but you see this man pass you and he is walking with purpose and as he passes you, you see his... he never stops walking, but his pace slows slightly and you feel those piercing blue eyes follow you. As the priest

as the Archbishop just continues guiding you. And then after slowing down slightly, the eyes following you then picks up his pace even faster than before. - We are so dead.

It's on. This is bad. It's on like Donkey Kong, everybody. We are in the lion's den, baby. This is like when Indiana Jones goes to the book burning thing in the third movie and it's like all the enemies are just walking around. Ever? I've never seen Indiana Jones. Any Indiana Jones? None of them. Damn. You know, they're really fine. They're only legendary because they're unbelievable. You have to watch them. It's a show.

My favorite thing in the entire world is Tomb Raider. I love shit like that. Movie night. So I need to watch it. I just haven't had an opportunity. Movie night. Very dangerous. Lens of advantage movie night. Yes, please. So the eye is, so there's a black pupil and a red iris, and it's just like a wide open pin looking thing, like an eye. It looks like a military medal, but it is huge, far larger than any of the other medals that you've seen on any of the officers on the breast.

and it's hanging very prominently. And you can get a sense that it's probably the mark of the eye of the ring. - You may have already mentioned this, but are there generals that are not eyes or are all eyes generals and vice versa? - No, you know that there are like lieutenant generals, but as far as just like the title general, those are full of eyes. So there's like lieutenant general,

and then Brigadier General. If you're an eye, you're a general. Yes. And if you're a general, that doesn't... Regardless of whether you have Lieutenant or Brigadier in front of you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're an eye. No. Only... Yeah, no. If you have the title General, that means you're an eye. So it's like squares and rectangles. There's the High General, which is Zurn. There's the Generals. And then there's like Lieutenant Generals and then Lower Generals. Hot diggity. So...

While that was happening, I was basically trying to angle myself so that I was hopefully blocking as much of Felix as possible. Thank you. As that guy was going by. Just so you know. Can you make a... What would that be? Angling yourself? Performance? I mean, I'm happy to also make a stealth check. Yeah, why don't you make a stealth check in addition to some sort of performance or something? Yeah, maybe make a sleight of hand check and see how nonchalant you are.

- I hate these dice. - 21. - I hate these dice, eight. - Eight, okay. So I'm just gonna keep that in mind as you attempt that. And eventually, Zacharias leads you to a massive wooden door and emblazoned on this door is the same symbol that was on the breast of the man that you passed, the huge eye. And he gives it a knock.

And you hear, "Enter." And he turns to you and says, "I will announce him." The door opens. He steps inside and it closes. And he, and you're all there waiting. You see the occasional soldiers walking by, some maybe lower level generals or officers walking by, standing outside. And then maybe after about five, about five minutes, the door opens once again and he returns and he says,

She is ready to see you. This is where I give you my leave. Crap. And will you be waiting for us here just to take us back down? She should be able to send someone to escort you back out of the Citadel. Right into hell. All right. Well, I look forward to the day that we get to have our meeting. And until then, may Anubis watch over you and may the scales tip ever in your favor.

May the shadow cast over you and fill you with the protection and the comfort of the Raven Queen. Good luck. I look forward to our discussion. Thank you. I was hoping you'd know where to find me. I'm just at the cathedral. I'm usually there. I'll wait for him to get out of earshot, unless anyone wants to do anything. Okay, so we practiced, you guys. Iris is going to be doing most of the talking. Oh, no, not at all.

We didn't practice this. The door creaks open. Guys, we gotta just do this. We're gonna lay out our case. Everybody jump in when you're gonna jump in. I start to walk forward and I put my arm behind Toad. I kind of push him forward with me as well. I'll follow. I'll walk in first. The door opens.

and you see that there is a young female soldier. - He drives. - I'll leave the door open for you.

And he drives off. Aloysius drives off. Oh yeah, he drives off. Aloysius gets his Toyota Camry. You're never gonna live that one down, ever. He drifts down the spiral staircase. And he drives off. Goddamn. Heard left to go right? Goddamn. Pre-calculating. Pre-calculating. The door opens, and before you is...

A large room, but not too huge, but absolutely perfectly maintained office. And there is a large wooden desk, number of chairs in front of it, beautifully crafted furniture.

cabinets, desks, chairs, there's a table that seems to be for meetings. And there even seems to be on the far right of the room a small area of worship.

small shrine of the raiden queen with a number of very small pews and a small um box that looks like a out of out of here like a tabernacle or something and you see a number of uh there's there's two guards on either side of the door but directly ahead of you is a woman she doesn't seem to be that much older than the gentleman that you passed

She has eyes that are very wide and green and bright orange hair, almost fiery, tied up and pulled back into a large bun on the back of her head. She has a number of freckles on her face, particularly centering around her nose. And she's wearing the same uniform that you saw the gentleman wearing

that passed you. Same military pen? Same military badge. The Eye of the Raven. Okay. She looks at all of you, crosses this at you for a moment. "Zakaria said..."

that you had some very important information that he himself couldn't even tell me. Upon being addressed, almost without thinking, I straighten up, I take off my hat, and I say, "General Paradiso!" And as my hand goes to my head, I accidentally rub my hand through my hair and I say, "I'm Albert. It's a pleasure to meet you." "Hi, General Paradiso. How are you doing?" I need you to make an exception check.

And no, I'm not, am I? Twist of fate. I'm not. I rolled a five. Twist of fate. Twist of fate. Twist of fate. Twist of fate. We have one. Do the thing. Do the thing. That feels bad. Do the thing? That's what it's for. Unless you want to be caught, I don't know. I don't want to be caught, but I feel like... There you go. 17. Okay, okay. Sorry, 16, 16. So she watches all of you and she says, hi.

Hmm.

Besides them, she nods at the two young female officers. And can you guarantee their complete loyalty to you? I can, of course. And only you? If you provide me a reason why it should just be my eyes, I may be able to make arrangements. Seems like we need a little privacy to share what we have to tell you. Can you guarantee us we have to make sure

that this information is not going to get to the ears of any of the other eyes. It is only for you. And that is imperative. You will know why once we begin to tell you. Make persuasion check. I'm not persuasive today. She said it. Uh, ten. Do we use that? If you provide me... I'll keep talking. If you provide me proof...

I require proof. You require proof to know that there is something going down with one of the other eyes? That's a very, very serious accusation. Of course it is. We wouldn't be here if it weren't. It's only the beginning of what we have to tell you. Do you... I'm Iris of the Sands. I'm daughter of the pharaoh of Sekhet.

Jasper, the Sans, I would not be risking my father's reputation, I would not be risking my life or that of my friends to come with you with false accusations. We need to make sure that your ears are the only ones that this information befalls upon. I appreciate that, Arista the Sans. The only reason that you all are here is because Sicari spoke so highly of you and your father. I know what he's done.

But it is a very serious accusation. I understand that I've heard whispers and rumors from some of the other eyes, but they've been whispering and rumoring for as long as I've been in Zentra. You never know what to trust. It was the grumbling of old men.

Well, we don't look very old, do we? We should stop wasting the general's time. Do you mind if I just cut to the chase? No, I do honestly mind. And the reason that I mind is quite simply this. We do have proof, and we're happy to provide it to you, but I would think as a general, as

As someone as high up as you are, the protection of those in this city and yourself is incredibly important to you. You would understand that that proof is important to be handed to you, but you can guarantee that there are no secret listeners. And to me, it seems completely...

Crazy, that for a second you would even think to yourself that you would entertain us telling you anything of the utmost secrecy in front of people you can't guarantee 100% trust and loyalty. Make a risk-waving check advantage, please. Ooh. That's a d12. Don't roll that one.

- 16. - 16. She looks at you and her eyes narrow a little bit and she, she thinks for a moment. - Thank you Common Cam for the follow. - Oh, thank you, thank you. Her eyes narrow and she thinks for a moment and then she gives the two soldiers a nod.

and both of them stand at attention and open the door and they make their way out and you can see that they're getting ready to stand directly outside and the door's shut and she looks at all of you and she says, "There, no one is listening."

I may. Or seeing. Speak. Should I cast Zone of Truth so that maybe this is a little more convincing? I don't think that's necessary. I trust that General Paradiso will be truthful with us. No, no, I meant just so that she felt comfortable with what we were about to provide. I appreciate that, but I'm a very good judge of those that are lying and those that are telling the truth, which is why I sent them out. You seem...

You seem like you believe very much what you're saying to me. I'm British and I can't even drink tea. The hairball one, I know. You got this, buddy. I'm going to walk up to the general and say, General, please accept my sincerest apologies for this, but you must understand we must be careful. And as I take the papers out of my backpack, I hand her half of them.

Okay. Please look through these, and I'm going to hang on to these, and when you're done with those, we can trade. And I have more to show you as we go, but we must make sure that this is safe. And we must make the utmost haste. The information that is in there, it is time-sensitive. I don't mean to assume, but if you can't read them, we have someone here who can translate. I can't, but she taps her chest, and you see the hand glow, and her eyes glow for a moment. Now I can...

Tungus. Tungus. Tungus. Tungus? The Tungus among us. The big Tungus. The big Tungus. Big Tungus repeal expo confirmed! Oh my god! General, just let me know when you're finished and we can continue to trade evidence here. She reads. Take all the time you need. Where did you secure these? Well... Some of them were secured in a labyrinth outside of the city.

We travelled through its halls, not knowing that it was going to spill us out into the

Seven heavens. That would be these blueprints. And I'll spread them out on the desk. The rest were secured from the local newspaper. And I'll trade the rest of the newspaper articles for the ones that she has. I'd like to have them both all as a set, please. Fine. From the desk of Wyland... Exactly. It seems that there has been some spreading of propaganda. There are initials on some of those...

that we believe to be one of the eyes. Unfortunately, I don't think we have any of that with us. Well, we didn't bring that. We did not take the editorial article with the initials. Can you be said? Well, the initials were DK. Horizon Arrow. Now, you said that you had heard whispers, so we, however, were not privy to those. If those initials align with the whispers that you've heard...

And I think that is more than enough information on that front. But we believe that this person may be traitorous and may be working to sabotage the entire city. If we haven't stressed this enough, time is very much of the essence. We have a contact who has been doing some recon and there is a very large force descending upon the city.

That's the second half of this whole story, isn't it? Just the traitorous notes that were passing you and the machines of destruction, but also the fact that there's a huge legion of horned beasts that are literally marching on Zentra, thousands upon thousands of these creatures ready to go, and nobody's prepared for it. And I have a very dark question.

Has there been an uprising of missing children, babies specifically, in the city? I've heard rumours from my staff that have heard it from rumours from their staff all the way down. I thought it was just tales. I was told by our intelligence capability that things were fine. Just maybe some slavers. Nothing to be very worried about.

But this is all starting to make a little bit more sense. I know that this is a lot of information that we're throwing at you and it's- it's- it sounds very far-fetched, but you- you must understand us. All it would take was a moment outside of the city gates with a bird's eye view to be able to see what is marching on the city at this very moment. May I all ask you to get in a- to huddle up? I'm going to cast Zone of Truth.

And you will tell me exactly what you just said? Where you acquired these? I will be happy to do that. Sure. Sure.

As you all get together, she waves her hand, and I assume you all... I will fail. You all fail intentionally. Yeah. As you all immediately feel yourselves compelled to tell the truth as a glowing gray zone appears below you. Is this the kind of thing where she has to ask us a question and we have to answer truthfully, or...

we just have to like divulge all the- - You can't be the truth. - Okay, so if she asks us a question, I am forced to either not talk or I have to say the truth. - Correct. - You can choose not to speak. - So I will essentially just reiterate everything that we said again inside of the zone of truth. - I'll say the same. - This is alarming. - That's why we're here. - I can't believe Furman was right. - What did Furman say if you don't believe me? - Furman always hated

- Furman always hated Diamante. I just thought it's 'cause he was an old man jealous of a young upstart, felt threatened. - Well, that was something we can confirm from the notes that said that Furman was actually suspicious of Diamante and Zurn even mentioned this too, was becoming suspicious of his activities. Diamante wrote this himself. - Yeah, this is all true. That means everything we know

all of our intelligence, our reports from the front and from within the country have been compromised by a man that serves a demonic cult. Do you know anything about Baphomet or Moloch? Moloch does not ring a bell. Baphomet, of course I know. The beast men of the forest. They've worshipped Baphomet for as long as I've been alive. For as long as they've existed. But I didn't think that humans, civilized humans,

What's this one that lives in a place like Zendure can ever worship a horrible entity like that? Well, they're trying to achieve physical form of this Moloch fella. Doesn't ring a bell to me either, but it sounds god-awful. And from everything we've read so far, it's not only that everyone's in danger, but he's trying to overthrow Zurn too. I think he's trying to kill him. He is. He's trying to assassinate our General Zurn.

It says so in the letter. Do you know how far this whole legion is at? Honestly, it could be days. We might not even have two. More than likely, two or less. Less time than we definitely thought. That means we can trust no one. No, it means we can trust no one. Except for the general and the high general themselves. Hence why I wanted to make sure we did not have anyone in this room when we spoke. We must speak.

I must speak with the High General immediately. She stands up and kicks her chair back. Please, let us escort you, even if we do not enter the room. No, you are coming with me. Then yes, we will come with you. Can we wait to see the High General himself? I will speak to the High General. You will stand outside if I need you. Oh, okay.

We will do whatever you ask us to. Take it easy. We just want to save all of the innocent people in this city. I'd like to incite and get an idea of whether or not she's actually believing us and whether she seems genuine in her panic. Inside check. 13. She seems genuine.

I mean, there could be tens of hundreds of thousands of enemies, including giants and ogres, empowered by beastial magic. It's not just, imagine tens of thousands of giants attacking the city, and then imagine that even worse, with pure demonic power. As well as, not only that, but the blueprints.

They don't just have the might of the creatures they're with, but the machines that they've created. They are hell-bent, pardon the phrasing, on leveling the city. We're worried they may not even just be machines, they may be living constructs. I've never seen anything like it in my life. We fought one in that labyrinth, I believe. And my guess is they were feeding children to it.

And if they can fill these walls, they can get through these walls. I mean, either through the tunnels or through these war machines, then Zintra can say goodbye. It's flocked. I would like a group persuasion check advantage, please. Just out of character, I did not realize this, but the artillery units, it was that golem forge thing that we fought.

that was in the middle of the room? That's what that was? No. So it was basically just, you had seen a living construct under their control. Okay. And so it just, it seems it could maybe is a similar- Based on the blueprints, Revali was saying like it had a mouth and it looked like, so we were- So essentially there could be other-

things that they're creating, we just only found the blueprints for a certain amount of things. And based on the things that we've seen as well, we were just basically work-summizing, right? Gotcha. We don't know for sure. 10. 12. 17. 15. 17. 31. Whoa! I was like, mediocre, mediocre, good, great! Okay, with that, with that, she...

clutches her gloved hand and the zone of truth around her drops. And she says, "Follow quickly behind me. "Follow quickly behind me. "We are going to the T'ai General right away." - Yes, right away.

- I grab Lifty's hand and squeeze it and then I let go and follow on. - And she stands up and she's honestly not as tall as you were expecting given her demeanor. And she begins to start walking past you.

She pushes the door open and she looks at both of the soldiers on guard and she says, "Make sure no one comes in or out of that room." And they all salute her and nod and the doors close. And she begins to lead you through the hallway and you make your way down and then you find a large door that is of heavy metal.

with two soldiers on either side. And as soon as they see General Paradiso, they immediately salute and they open the door for her. And you see a huge stairway heading up. - Oh shit. - You go higher and higher and higher. Feels like the staircase will never end. And it spirals around.

- Upwards. - Tell me when we get to level 40, I'm gonna throw up. - And you finally arrive at the landing. And the, once again, it's several soldiers, they open the door, and there's a narrow hallway. You make your way around into a huge door, and you see the figure of a raven. And there are two soldiers.

on either side and then another and then another and another. And that you see that basically wrapping around this entire hallway is heavily armored, completely at attention with a massive double door. And emblazoned on this is a huge raven, its wings spread out, its beak up to the sky. And on one side of its head are three eyes.

And as soon as that happens, she turns to one of the soldiers and she says, "I need to speak with him immediately." And the soldier immediately turns and almost robotically gives a certain special knock. And General, you got this. I'm gonna give her bardic inspiration.

- Okay, she feels empowered and inspired by that. - Nice. - Very nice. - And she turns to you and says, "You wait here. "Do not do anything until I get back." - Yes, ma'am.

Oh boy, I'm a little concerned about this. It's okay. I mean, I don't think nobody's going to recognize me here. These people are way above my pay grade. But I'm just concerned that we're out here vulnerable and essentially Kujata's just walking around somewhere. What's a pay grade? I'll explain it later. It's not worth talking about right now. But nonetheless, we're just kind of just hanging out and we're very vulnerable here.

We have to believe her. We need to be on guard and just trust that she has the city in mind. All right, all right. We've been vulnerable since we got into Zenfra. Are there windows? We need to wash over you. On this, there are

are windows that are even narrower on either side, but on where you're standing-- - Felix, don't jump! - I wanna go look through one of the windows. Just like very-- - If I don't have to go too far, I don't wanna look like I'm going way off, but I wanna mosey over and look out the window. - You mosey over and you look out, and this is, it's almost dizzying how high up you are. You are at the very top.

of the citadel as you're looking down all the various layers that let all a stack up so so where we're at like the closest the next like closest level is like how many feet away

- It is probably a good hundred feet. - I look at myself and I say, "Oh fuck." And I walk back to Tela. - You look to yourself? - Yeah, just like, I'm just looking at like, "Oh fuck." And I just walk back to Tela. - Okay, so did she take all of the papers with her? - Yes, she never gave them back to you. - I didn't have a choice. - So she has everything. - I tried. - I tried. - As she, then the door opens and she steps in. - Do we get a glimpse?

You get a very, very brief glimpse of a stone walls and kind of this glowing red light from within. And then the door closes. I will pull out my viol and be like, well, we basically just have to wait. And I'll start to sort of tune it and start to play a little bit. Please don't make too much noise. Vroom, vroom, vroom.

Such a tense moment. And... Minutes pass. Five minutes. Ten minutes.

Save it. 15 minutes. While this is happening, I would like to just go up to the window and just stare out and just see if I just basically try to focus on the horizon in the forest, see if I can see any sign at all of movement, of trees falling, of birds flying up into the air. You said it was the one window, right? Yep. Okay.

There is no Dana, only Zul. Three minutes passed. - Oh my god. - Did we see anything? - That's a long time. - Did we see anything? - Oh, I'll make a special check. What'd you get? Sorry. - Sorry.

Your sea dice suck Mike. Yeah they're awful. During that 30 minutes, can I attempt to cast mage armor on myself? I would say that's fine. Okay I didn't know if it would just lie, I was kind of expecting just to... These soldiers seem to be so incredibly armored and trained, the power radiating from them is pretty intense. You could probably get the sense that they are not particularly feel threatened by you doing that kind of stuff. And they're very well disciplined.

If you made any kind of movement that made them uncomfortable, they would probably let you know. Cool. All right. I mean, it would have been just very, like, just touch myself. This isn't like the British guys with the big hats. I can't, like, fuck with them. Well, you're welcome to try to fuck with them. Yeah. I wonder if this starts twerking at this point.

- I also wanna look out the window, but I wanna look up and see what's above us. - Okay, make a-- - Someone else take a look as well. - Would you say a perception? - Yeah. - Eight. - There we go. - 19. - 19, you look around and you look up above and you hear, you listen and you hear just the cacophonous croaking and cawing of ravens and fluttering of wings and you look up above and there is,

that directly above you is this massive roost of ravens flying all around you with various perches that seem to be built in to this. - Do these ravens have six eyes? - No, normal ravens. - The normal ravens. - And the door creaks open and Paradiso steps out. She seems to be, she seems to have a steel look of resolve on her face and she looks at all of you

And she says, he wants to speak with you. We would be honored, all of us, to have an audience with the High General. Yeah, of course, yeah, we'll talk to the High General. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, lead the way. He? Do you not think you can pull anything over on him? A word of advice? Oh, we wouldn't dream of it.

And I say this as quiet as anything, because I'm in your name. Right, right, of course not. Good luck. And don't fucking get up. Yes! And don't. Sorry. She looks at you, good luck, and don't fucking get up. And. Yes! Yes! Very deep. Very deep. Why do I know all this? Sorry, I was like, it was a wrap. Because you love us, that's why. I do, I do. I'm just so healthy.

- I'm for your players, I'm for my players. So she gives you a salute and gives another knock on the door and the door opens up and you are welcomed inside. - Hey, real quick, can I get those papers back? Does he have them? - You think I didn't give him the papers to the High General? - Just making sure, thanks, appreciate it. Nice to meet you, Caprice. And then I'll walk in. - Does the door close behind us?

She nods and she begins to walk off. You hear as you enter a room. Are there windows in his room? No. Fuck. You are, you enter into... They immediately cut in half by a trap. Because they step out of the pressure point. Felix is on jump alert. Massive.

room that seems that has hard narrow walls that seem to be hexagonal in shape. There are slate black floors but with a circular

that is of just this bloodstone, it looks like, at the center. And at the center of this is a huge meeting table with a number of chairs around it, with a map of the entire country of Striga in the highest level of detail. All of these large, perfectly carved wooden pieces of separate symbols that are all over this.

and you see massive banners hanging on either side of this room that have the raven symbol of Korvacchia. And at the far end of the room, you see a huge seat with steps leading up to it. There is a raven sitting on top of it, and it lets out a croak at you as you then see a man stand

from a chair. He's tall, well over six feet. A man that it's very difficult to peg his age as he seems to be well past his middle years, but there's a youthfulness to his face. Very hard angular features, a strong jaw, a very strong prominent nose, silver hair long down to his shoulders, all combed back.

and dark, dark eyes. They're either... It's hard to tell if they're even a deep brown or a black. His outfit is similar of the Stilmer style to the Eyes of the Raven that you've seen, but with an incredibly huge cloak of blacks and reds and grays. And his armor does not be heavy leather, but of a heavy plit. There is...

a massive greatsword at the side of the throne. As he stands up, he picks up and he and he sits on his back. - He's gonna get us. - As you hear a tap, tap as the every single boot print around echoes, as you finally see the source of this kind of red glow, these braziers that illuminate the room.

that are glowing with this strange, it seems to be fire, but it's glowing with this form, almost a supernatural magical glow. It's this red, blood red aura. And as he steps towards you, he says, "So I hear you have uncovered a traitor in my country." - And a pretty big threat to the city itself. - "That seems to be the situation. I assume you know who I am."

I understand you to be High General Zurn. My name is Capriccio De Sesto. It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Urja and Andalhart of Clan Andalhart. I am Toa Windchaser Kamenui from the Makami Islands. It is a small island chain. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's off the west coast of Chark, which is the southern continent from Yona and... That's probably enough, dear. I'm an Indus, Capriccio.

Well, I don't know what's happening with him, but I'm Lufti. This kitty. I can introduce myself, but I think he's going to need more from you than just Lufti. Oh, well, that's what I say. Tell him who you are, by the way. I'm Lufti. Never mind. Iris of the Clans, daughter of Jasper of the Sands, pharaoh of Siket. Lovely to meet you.

Your name precedes you, as I'm sure mine does as well. So anyway. His eyes glance at you, and you, boy. I look to tell her, I'm Felix. As soon as you say that he arrives in front of you, he steps around the table. He's finished striding across the room. He's looming over all of you, towering over everyone except for Toa. As soon as...

You see that... Bye. Bye, Felix. We're about to be a party of five. He doesn't feel so good. You see that as he approaches you... You see that as he approaches you... Mr. Cominui, I don't feel so good. You see that as he approaches you, he's looking over you with these dark eyes. His bushy eyebrows are incredibly prominent. His brow is so strong. And...

I'm sorry. He just looks sternly at you, one at a time, almost as if he's boring into your soul. General Paradiso has said you found these documents in a labyrinth that connects to my city.

This is true. Yeah. Very true. And we speculate there may be more than one. And for full disclosure, there is a stable of the like in the seven heavens that is connected to a tunnel wide enough for some of the largest of beasts to make their way directly into the innards of your city. Yeah. If you don't believe what we're saying, you can quite literally go there. Yes, I can make through with plenty of headroom, and I'm

He's a big boy. Oh, yeah. I mean, him walking down these hallways is just like throwing a hot dog down a tunnel, let me tell you. Oh. My man! And he saw these labyrinths, these cults. They mention Baphomet. They did. In one of the rooms, there was a mural of sorts that depicted both Baphomet and Moloch. And in the letters that I'm sure you've read.

Despite Paradiso not knowing the significance of this, you expect that a devil and a demon would be working together to march against this city? Well, if you'd asked me a month ago, I would have answered that as no, but as I've seen the murals myself, and the vessels in which they seem to be feeding children, on top of finding all that information, and...

Then finding out that there's an army less than two days away from the walls of your city, I will say yes to that. We've witnessed it too. I mean, we were on our way to Zentra and we saw them putting these crowns on their heads and converting them. Yeah. It was the weirdest reunion I've never heard of. It was quite a shock, but I mean, we're talking hundreds of thousands.

insane amount being converted. How? I don't know, but we saw this crown and it seemed to hold great importance as it was part of that conversion, that beast form, beast plague that we've been seeing so much of. And I assume that none of you know the significance of this either. We know that this cult means great harm to the innocent civilians of this city, and because of that reason, that's enough evidence

to lead us down this path and warn to the highest level we had to warn the city that this army is coming, because otherwise everyone will die. And? Including yourself. Yes, there's a whole plot. I mean, you saw the letters. I did. I am not afraid of Kujata, but he must have something that I do not know about. The fact that my eyes have been so blind...

is a NAMI. Do you mean your eyes or do you mean your eyes? He ignores you. That seems like a fine quote. As to be exposed as a fool, I really must be getting old. Were you still good to me? He ignores you. That was a sad look. Nice try darling. He ignores you. That's okay, I'm used to it. As he says, I appreciate

your willingness to risk your life to even bring this to me, to bring this to Paradiso. And had you attempted to give this to our attention, you probably would have been executed. But I can tell you, with all of this evidence, I know Kujata's handwriting. I can see that this script is his. And he and all of his lackeys, anyone who may have known or had a wisp, and maybe even more, will wish that just an execution

was what they were sentenced with. - If Anubis is just, the scales will not weigh in their favor. - There are few things just about this world, but I have made it my life to bring justice where the gods fail. - May the beast of the waters devour their hearts. - And the beasts of the sky. And he looks at all of you, and I need you to all make a persuading check.

- Okay, I can't, I feel better, I feel better. - Hey, natural 20. - Hey! - Two! - Advantage. - You said persuasion? - 12. - Hey, a total of a 20. - 14, 23. - Okay. - 32. - Wow, okay. So he said, "I appreciate your help."

- I'm sorry to be out here. - Bringing this to my attention, as much as it has made me look a fool. And as he's doing that, you see that he's gesturing with only his right hand. And you can kind of see now beneath his cloak, his left hand is just in a sling.

elegantly crafted sling, but it's not moving at all as the Hellboy fucking... I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. I'm so angry. So I'm calling this right now. I'm adding the Hellboy trailer to the Feywild playlist because there are only four songs on it. So every three songs we can do this. Yes! Yes!

- But I'm not gonna stop it, we're gonna listen to the whole thing. - That's right, that's right, I'm ready. - So you see that this massive sword now is, all you can see now is the palm, as the sheath is, the scabbard rather, is tucked behind the cloak. And you see that it is elegantly crafted of this black metal, the pommel, and it is,

Anorlaid with this beautiful red stone and gemwork and at the very end is carved the head of a raven with three red eyes on either side. - On the pommel? - On the pommel, yep. And there seems to be, rather than two, two bits on the hand guard, there are four that seem to go on a cross that are shaped like wings.

- Pretty great sword. - It's a great, great sword. And he reaches up to Grippa, almost as his eyes stare off, and you see a bit of anger well up in him, and he releases. "I will begin making all the preparations. "Kujata and his ilk will tell me what they know. "Oh, and they will regret having ever been born.

and much less having him born in my country and betraying it for beasts. They knew what was at stake. And as he looks off, you hear the door creak open. And as the door creaks open,

You see Zurn narrow his eyes and say, I'm in the middle. As he seems to be completely paralyzed as the door flies open, you see blood pooling at the floor of outside. You see a young man of slit black blonde hair step in.

as he is holding out a hand glowing with dark energy and there seem to be two soldiers on either side and these seem to be the two soldiers that were on the inside, very inside of the door. I will cast a spell magic on whatever his hand is. You beat me to it. Okay. And, um, Just start with the spell. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, as, uh, this happens, I need everyone to roll for initiative. Oh!

- Oh no. - Feel the Xurne. - Feel the Xurne. - Feel the Xurne. - Can we possibly survive? - Is Xurne bleeding? Is that what we can-- - Xurne just seems to be paralyzed. - So where's the blood? - The blood's out the door. - So the doors are open. You see the blood. - And there's blood. - And you can see that they are like-- - Hopefully our girl Paradiso, he's just like stuck. - So that he can't help us in the fight essentially. - This guy's-- - Map?

- Get rid of all of it. - Yes! - Oh, fuck! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's like 6,000 pounds of paper here. - Walk like a tabaxi.

To Felix, maybe. Whoa. Oh, yeah, geez. You weak-ass wizard. What? Damn. Savage man. God. He steps forward. And you hear his voice. As he steps forward, Zurn is, let's just, I don't have a minute for Zurn. They're obviously butt boobies. Baba Yaga.

Let's use Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga. Zurn. Zurn. Yeah! He's right there. Because Zurn's a badass, not Vandrus. Mike, I do have a request, though. I request that you put the Hellboy trailer on repeat for this boss battle. That's next session. I'm just teasing it.

As he steps forward, he lets have a laugh. I was so close to not being found, but I'm so glad I'm able to finally do what I've been waiting to do, Zurn, you old fool, and your lackeys will not stop me. And you see, and then you see that. But first, allow me to show you the gift that I've been blessed with, a gift that you could never hope to enjoy.

And he goes, as he starts to shift in his skin, he hulks the fuck out. And you see that the other swords on his sides seem to do the same as well. And he seems to grow taller. His hair...

grows out of his skin. He gets rippling muscles, huge black horns. Oh, my God. And he goes from a completely gorgeous young man into a hideous beast that is not quite a minotaur, but is almost estranged in between. Yeah, calm down. I know. Somewhere in

- It's a wind of interest for an ace winner. - Two soldiers on his side shift and this is far more immediate. And they are covered in these pestilent boils as they all look at you behind these goat-like eyes with the shaggy grayish whitish fur as they, as you see,

Diamante Cujada hold out his hand and a massive vicious black glaive appears in it. And so everyone will finish it. Boil! 20, 25. I got 20...

- I got a 22. - 23. - I rolled, but I don't remember. - Is that the entrance? - Yes. - Oh, so I actually should have flipped it. - Oh, 'cause he would have been behind. He would have been here. That's fine. - 22. - Who'd have been closest to him? - I got a 22 as well. - I was very close to him. - Go ahead. - Can I go first? - Yeah. - Yeah, I had to roll. - I actually shouldn't take that. I rolled once, but I forgot what it was. I think it was a 15. - Here and Felix Hunter. Here, here. - I'm just next to Toa. - I'm gonna go with a 15.

- Okay, so what'd you get, Iris? - 23. - 23. Anyone else who rolled a 20? - I got a 22. - 22, Felix. - So it should, yeah, Iris and me, 20. - 20 for Caprice, damn. Toa and Herja, what'd you get? - 11. - 16. - And Lifty? - I'm gonna go with a 15. I forget what I rolled, but I think it was a 15. - Okay. - I thought you rolled a 22. That was my second roll, 'cause I forgot the first one, but I thought that didn't count. - That's fine, that's fine. So as...

as this massive bull creature that was formerly Diamante Gujada, this man that you had no idea and that you had only met, you'd only seen briefly.

And Zurn is, you see that as he is paralyzed, that his hand is paralyzed mid-reaching for his sword. The fact that even though it was almost instant, he was able to get his hand almost up to his greatsword. And as you cast the spell magic before this, it blasts over it, and it seems whatever is holding him is too powerful to dispel. So I lose the spell slot? I would say so, yeah. Ah!

And as this happens, you see that these two demonic goat creatures are flanking the new ascended form of Kujaba. And so with that, it's initiative and it's Iris. I'm going to immediately reach my hand back as a bonus action and cast Sanctuary on Zurn. Okay. And then I am going to just look forward and say, you

may have been incredibly attractive the first time I saw you, but your insides are dark, and now so are the outsides, and I'm gonna toll the dead. - Okay. So you reach back and you feel a power when you just kind of-- - It's a wisdom saving throw. - Wis saving throw, got it. - Please, please take the damage, please.

- Take it, take it, take it, take it. - Oh, saving throw, he is going to get a seven. - Oh baby. - It's just little damages. Just nine, nine necrotic damages. - Nine necrotic, okay. On him, as you, he just continues to walk towards you and you see him twitch a little bit as he takes his damage, but he is, he's looking like he's pretty beefy.

Okay. With that, it is Felix's turn. I turn to Toa and I say, we chose to fight. Let's make this quick. Yes. I put my hand on her shoulder. I say, go. And I cast haste. Okay. Okay.

- And then I fall back to General Zurn. - Okay, so you feel Felix's hand on your shoulder as you grab your focus, your raided dagger, and a shimmering white silver light comes over you, and you hear like a clock ticking really, really quickly, and suddenly, Toa, you feel like you gotta go fast. - You get plus two to AC, you get advantage on dexterity saving throws, and you get an additional attack on two to five.

- And your movement speed's crazy. - Yeah. - Double. - Yep. - Yep. - I will either attack, dash, disengage, hide, or you should just be attacking. - I will bonus action Inspira, Inspirus. - Inspirus. - Inspirus. With the second verse of the day, which is very quickly. - Our time zone is US Eastern time.

- Yes, GM's mind's first. ♪ All restless spirits and undead ♪ ♪ With your help ease their suffering ♪ ♪ On my deathbed, oh, ay, yo ♪ ♪ I hope to see you there worshiping ♪ ♪ So you take a inspiration and then I will ♪ ♪ Oh, ay, oh, ay, oh ♪

- Oh, are we doing speedy time things here, Felix? Let's see what you guys got on this, and I'll cast Slow on the entire group. - What is, what's the DC? - That is a good question. - The DC is 16, but the question is, is it a, it's a wisdom. - That's a fucking 10. - Yeah, it's a 10. - And it'll affect all three.

That, uh, what was that one fail? They all fail. All right. And I will move in front of Zurn here.

Actually, I'm going to move right over here to enjoy that save and throw action. Okay. So as soon as this happens, you feel inspired by this iris. And then you then play a very slow melancholic song on your viol. And you feel this shimmering force come over them. And they all start to slow down. And I need to call in baby. They are here. Oh, shit!

That's the worst move! So as long as I don't insta-kill Toa, we'll be alright. Yeah, yeah. Don't disintegrate Toa, please! So, what does what do? What does what do? So their speed is half. Haste, and they can only make-- oh, haste? Haste gives Toa +2 AC, doubles his movement speed, and gives him an extra action each turn. And he gets advantage on dexterity saving throws. What slow does is they have half speed, they can only make one attack action,

They can't do a bonus action, and I don't believe they get reaction. It's an action or a bonus action, but not both. And if they want to cast a spell, they have to roll a 20. If they have multi-attack, can they do more than one? No, they cannot. They can only use one. Yeah, and they're negative two. Well, that's how this is all balanced. So he is going to charge at you as he's going to lean down, and he has one. Do they all fail? So it's half his movement speed. They all fail. How much is his movement speed, then? His movement is 40.

So he can only move one. So it's half, so it's 20. Two, 20. Is he charging through the table? He's charging. He leaps up onto the table and it splinters and cleaves in half. Oh, fuck. It's his...

as he leaps forward with his, what do you call it? He has reach. He has reach. So he can hit me or Iris. He has reach. So he sees you, Iris, casting Sanctuary on him and he's just like, not so fast! What?

And he's going to bring the glaive, the halberd down hard on him. Well, there was always a soft spot in my heart for Iris. And I'm sad we didn't get to adventure with her more. I'm excited to see what Nikki will roll next. 18? Yeah, that hits. To be fair, if the table was from Ikea, it would not have broken. Oh!

- Not true, I have an Ikea table with an Andy shaped hole in it. - 16 points of slashing damage. - I would like to use my reaction to reduce that. Oh, I'm not raging yet, I can't. - Nope, 16 points of slashing damage swings over and it cleaves into you, Iris, as it seems as if

Just doing that, that was him being horribly slow and it looks like there's way more energy there. He's just unable, he swings in slowly and he moves in and his eyes are flaring. Is he able to repeat that after every turn or no? - He will be able to make an additional wisdom saving throw at the end of his turn.

17? Yep. 17 passes, so the slow drops off. Well, all right. It's okay. With that, it's Noah's turn. Go, baby. I'm going to whip around seeing this. I'm gonna go...

Stand here. Why? And... He's about to put this guy in a blender. He's gonna be cute. And hit frappe, friend. I will attack. First, I will use my bonus action to spread my legs and crouch down and get into battle trance. And then I will go in for three attacks. Fuck yes. Ooh. Ooh.

17. Ew. 6 plus 8 is what? 14. 14 misses. 16, yeah. 2 of the 3. 2 hit. That's okay. It's all right.

- Goat smoothie sounds gross. I'm not into it, I don't hate it. - Four, eight, so this is 10. Plus five is 15. 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 damage. - 29 damage, okay. - That's my boy! - And then I will, I'm gonna like just try to, I'm gonna back away and turn

Oh, he can't take it off. He cannot. He's just off. Slow. I wouldn't know that. He's going to swing at you.

Concentration. Do I only roll it if I get hit? Yes. Okay. 21 to hit. Yep. Miss, you son of a bitch. I'll use cutting words to cut his action by 1d8. Wow. Ooh. 21. Shit. That would be a six, so that would definitely drop a... Yes! So, he's 19. That's amazing. His AC's 19. That's amazing.

as he's swinging in, he's like, get back here! And don't fuck this up! As he's doing that, he stumbles and he slips on the part of the table that he smashed and is able to get away from Kajasa. All thanks to our lord and savior, Ikea. I'm just gonna go up and try to get in these guys' faces here. And, um...

Yeah, and I say, "Come get me." Okay, you do that. Lufty, you're up. Okay, I am going to raise my spoon above my head and start spinning it and be like, "That's my key!" And just run at him with my spoon. So I'll make two quarter stack attacks. 21 and 18. Both good. Very nice. Thank you, thank you.

So I am going to do, so that is 10, 18 damage, and I'm gonna spend a ki point to make one of those a stunning attack. Okay. I'm a big fan of this. You do that. So 18 points of damage, let me do that first. That's awesome. Jesus Christ. Stunning attack? Yep. DC? 13. Okay, what's the, is it wisdom? Or calm? Calm. That'll be a nine. Oh!

So you're stunned until the end of my next turn. You see, bam! A bam, and you kind of whip your spoon in. It hits his stomach. He goes, and you go,

It's like fucking Looney Tunes. Yeah, you knock the wind out of him and then you pop him on the head. Yeah, it's got the Looney Tunes birds going. It's great. And he spits up blood onto the ground. His eyes are glowing. Caprice is that guy from Happy Gilmore Show. Oh my god.

No! You guys are the best. Okay, so he's starting. Cooper's like, "This is a shit like you for breakfast!" Oh my god, he is! That's awesome. Incredible. I love Jot. I love Jot so much. So-- Thank you, my friend. Thank you. So they are going to move forward and they're gonna get just past Toa where they don't have to

- There, and then, they're gonna go in on Chella. - Okay, but, so past him, but not drawing the attack. - And they are going to, as they're going on him, they're both going to try to stab Anne with their barbed tails. And you see this rotting, horrible, boiling, popping pustules all over their skin. And it's really vile. You now realize they have these long barbed tails.

sneaking out from behind them and they're going to try to sting you with their tails. Goat tails. 18. Because of haste, it misses. Yes! Holy shit. That's cocked. In haste we trust, baby. But this is going to be a 23. That does hit. Okay. It's

it stings in on you, and that is going to be a 13 points of piercing damage, and you make a con saving throw against Orza. - I take six damage. - Orza gets a disease. - Hold on, so I did that, 'cause I'm resistant, and I will make a con saving throw.

I'm going to snitch here. That is 17. 17. You feel this horrible disease seeping out into your flesh from this barbed tail, but you manage to resist it. Scorpions. And with that, I'll hurt you. You're up. Are these fiends?

Do you get the sense that they are? I would say make a, what would it be? Ankama check? Sure. 19? 19. You are not sure about Kujata, but the two in the back definitely seem like these.

With a 19, do I get a sense of what Kujata might be? Kujata is probably not a fiend. There's fiendishness to him, but he seems like he's transforming. Like, he's hulking out. It seems like the other two just shift into what they really want.

Aw, jeez. Aw, jeez. Aw, jeez, I don't know. I'm gonna use my action to cast my Channel Divinity. Okay. Sacred Weapon, so I get plus two to my attack rolls. Oh, shit. Okay. And then as a bonus action... You still move, too, if you need to. I'm gonna move right next to Iris, right in front of him. Okay. Yeah, that would be perfect, actually. Um...

And as a bonus action, I'm gonna clap my thighs together and get some of your thighs activated. - Okay, so you hear the clanging of metal on metal as Mordin's hammer on anvil clangs out and you see this kind of glowing, shimmering, molten orange light all over Dakota. She swings it around and she claps her thighs together.

as the force of the dummy thickness surrounds the head of this flail with this swirling thunderous magic. - Well, for now, it bleeds. - Oh my god, it's bleeding. - I'll let Alex draw. - That'll be my turn. - I am going to cast Bane. - Bane? - Bane? - You, you, you, you. - All three of them, they are, it's charisma saving throw. - Okay, let's see, what's his face?

13 for Kujata. He fails. 18. 20-- no, no, 18. 18 for the goat guy. We can't see what those emos are. So number two fails. OK. Number two fails. Trying to make a booty clash. So basically they just have to do the d4 to subtract. Did Kujata fail or pass? Kujata failed. OK, so you have both of them. So could you put a purple d4 on Kujata at number two?

And then I'm going to cast Nothing Else because that is my turn. Okay, so you hold your... Oh no, I'm going to try the potion. Okay, you raise your paw and you feel this darkness all spread out as these strange kind of mummy bindings all

slither off out of the ground. One of these goat-like demons seems to resist it, but Kujata, in his stunning state, is now baned and is being fucked, and the other one is also wrapped up. Okay? I am going to cast...

Because I am concentrating, right? So I can cast a cantrip while I'm concentrating, right? Well no, I can't cast another concentration spell. So I'm gonna cast Frostbite on him. Is that Dex's saving throw? Con 16 saving throw. Please tell me you fail. He automatically fails Dex and strength saving throws. No!

- He gets minus whatever 'cause of Bane. - Probably goo. - 14. - He fails. - Okay. - So he takes 2d6 and has disadvantage on the next weapon attack roll that it makes before the end of its next turn. - Nice. - Got it, okay. - Very nice. - Six damage. - Nice, nice. - Six damage. - I like it. - So your hands glow in blue as you see ice crystals form all up in this stunned, wrapped in mummy bindings, minotaur piece that is being completely CC'd to death.

Because you're powerful and then it starts to eat away at its flesh. Okay, okay. He's very rough. I mean, he's not rough health-wise, but he's just rough. It's just rough. I'm just going to move back here. I'm going to move back, but still be near Zurn. Okay, well, let's get this going. I guess I'll cast Phantasmal Force on him.

Oh, baby, come on. Give us a good one. And that'll be an intelligence saving throw of 16, I believe. Phantasmal Force, please. Phantasmal Force. Okay, how does that work? Ring! Intelligence saving throw. One. Ha ha ha!

God bless America. Subtraction of the D4. Oh, no, hold on. Negative four. Negative three. Oh, really? Negative one. He super fails. Uh, he super fails. Um, all right, well, we'll get that rolling. So that would be concentration. I need to remember that. And also, um, uh, what happens in his mind? Gosh, what could we do? Um, um, he's going to see, uh,

of the six-eyed raven, but just the head with these disgusting spindly spines coming out. And they're just going to batter into him. But in the meantime, he's hearing this song and it's overwhelming. Sing along if you know the lyrics. I'm ready. Country roads. Country roads. Country roads. Country roads. Country roads. Country roads.

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And moas and boars all around him in the spirits. - The spirits of John Denver. - He barely gets out. "I'm making stuff, I'm making stuff!" And he takes one second damage. - From the back, Felix shouts, "Wrong alley, motherfucker!" - And I'll turn to Herja, I guess, and I'll be like,

- You got this, you got this next attack, no problem. And I'll give you an inspiration with my bonus action and that'll be the conclusion of my turn. - And he is just, and then he is unstunned. - Okay, so you're up. - So he's not stunned anymore. - At no disadvantage. - Why is he not stunned anymore?

Oh, no, he's still stunned. Yeah, he's still stunned. Fuck, no, so he does literally nothing. Yeah, because it's until the end of Lufty's turn. Well, that's Boston. That is really Boston. I will turn and just ignore these guys, run past them, and fucking just walk up and start wailing on this guy. Then I shouldn't use my spell. I love this music. Yeah, it's at the end of my next turn.

- It's over now. - So it's advantage though, right? So 20 something. - Hits. - 20 something. - Hits. - Almost a 20, 20 something. - Oh yeah. - So 10, 15, 16, 17,

18, 19, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 damage. Yes! My man! Wow! You've seen him do some pretty insane decent battle, but he's moving around, and even when he's done, he's moving like the fucking wind, magically enhanced by Felix. He's like... How much damage was that again? 40. 40 damage.

Was that Wind Chaser? Yeah, Wind Chaser. Yeah, like the fucking Wind Chaser. He's like the Wind Chaser. He's chasing the wind finally with Felix's. He can catch the wind with his fucking haste as he's slamming his maul into it and Kajada's spitting up blood as he's stunned and just a speech. There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes. There goes my hero.

Okay, so I'm gonna be still spinning the spoon. I'm gonna come in to the left and to the right and just hit two more times. So 26 to hit and 17 to hit. Do you have advantage? No, so that was the first one to hit. You're in advantage because he's in capacity. So you gotta see if you get a natural 20. I do not. 19 is a sign. Uh,

- Fair money. - So what is that? Seven plus four is 11 plus four is 15. - 15? - For the first one? All together, okay. - 15 damage, okay.

You smack your spoon on either side. His horn chips as you smash into it. So I'm gonna spend a ki point for Fury of Blows. So two unarmed strikes. Both of those are also advantage. Okay, so basically I wanna jump up and bicycle kick him and be like, "You disgust me!" And use my drunken technique to disengage away from him. Got it, okay. How far back do you wanna move? I don't know, like three or four squares.

Into Camera Queen, as far as she allows. There you go. That's good. Camera Queen allows you to go as far as you want. Ew, that's quite a debate. That's an advantage, so roll again. Hold on, so 7 plus 5 is what? 12. 12. Yep. There you go. And I'll sort that a lot. Yeah.

25. 25? 25 hits, or did you say 25 damage? Yeah, it was like 25 to hit. So I think only one hit. One hit. Yeah, only one hit. 17 is a safe. And that's six more damage. Okay. Cool. Okay.

- And you manage to, as you jump up, one of your feet just misses and then the other one hits him in the head and he's like, "Boof!" And you bicycle hop him like in fucking Super Smash Bros. And you leap back. Okay, with that it is-- - The little monster's turn. - The water cult's turn. And as they all make their way into, they're going to just,

- Leave you, so how does Bane work? - If he makes an attack while we're saving throw, he has to roll a d4 and subtract that from the roll. - Got it. - And that guy takes an attack of opportunity and so does that guy. - But they're all slowed, 'cause they haven't, they haven't straightened out their slow, he did. So they can only move at half speed. - Got it. - So he's probably only dead. - So he's gonna be, yeah, probably right there. - Your hand flips really soft, Mike. - Oh, he's not slowed? - Right, he passed. - Oh yeah, he passed, yeah. - Okay, my fault.

- I'm asking you all to get back there then. - I thought they were all slowed, but that one didn't have. - Oh, that's right, no, no, no. - They're all slowed, but that one didn't have. - Got it, okay, yeah, we're gonna be up there. And both of them are going to. - Does he get 30 feet of movement? - Yes. - Okay. - So both of them are going to, oh no, they have 40 feet of movement, so 20 feet. - So.

- He was where, here? - Yeah. - So he can get here, right? - Yep. - He was here? - And I moved him one more square. - So yeah, he can get there. - Okay, so he can get there. - I will not make any opportunities. - So that one is going to channel her and you can see as his boils pop and-- - Oh, that's disgusting. - And Esther and this wave hits all of you. I need everyone to make a-- - Oh, who's everyone? - Constantine throw.

- Even, is this disease? - There's a 30 foot radius around him. - Oh, dicks off. - I'm out there, I don't know if that's. - Is this disease or poor - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

Oh, but nevermind. Then they could have moved as much as they wanted. So what's the saving? The DC is 13, it's con saving. What is it? Sorry, is it disease or poison? It's disease. Okay, if I'm immune to disease, do I still roll? If you're immune to disease, then you wouldn't roll. Come on, come on, come on. DC's 13. I got a 15, so I win. Did you say con? 10. I got an 11.

11, okay, 10 fails. Oh, plus two if you're within 10 feet of me. Oh, I am. I still fail. You get to stay next to her all the time. I try to stay with 21. Take as much distance as possible. So who got lower than a 13, by the way? So both of you take five points of your product damage. And I lose, oh, I have to roll? Okay, so I don't instantly lose concentration. So I take 2.5.

- Two points of necrotic, or just three points. - So how does that work? - You just roll and you take 10 or less. - You take it five. - Yes. - You're fine. - All right, maintain concentration. - So you just take this necrotic as this disease spreads out. - And you take no damage if you-- - No, I fail. - Oh, so I don't take any damage.

- And then that's gonna happen and then the one is going to attack Lufty. - Yeah, I was trying to be sure I wouldn't get in range at all. I didn't want to have some Piersy AU-y shit, you know? - That's gonna happen. - No. - 13 points of piercing damage. - I will use my reaction to... - Damn. - By seven. - Okay, so that's, yeah.

- 13 minus seven is six. - Six points of, right? - Yeah. - Six points of piercing damage. - Comm saving. - And then comm saving throwback. - 19. - 19, okay, you passed. You feel this disease seeping into you. Okay, and with that, it is-- - I fear your disease! - Kershaw. - Oh no, this one's able to attack as well. This one's able to attack Kershaw. And that is going to be a 19. Oh, and it was bait! - Let's see.

- That's gonna be a 15. - 15 does not hit? - Yep. So it looks like it's going to hit you with its tail and then it manages to get reined in by the mum bindings and is unable to do that. - I will tell you in a second, I don't believe so, but maybe. - West goat virus? - No. - Oh, that's not it. - They failed it.

so they're baned as long as I hold concentration. - Got it, got it, got it. That's fine. With that, it is, um, first turn. - Seeing that my friends are taking disease damage, which I'm immune to, hashtag shout out to paladins, I'm going to bonus action. Can we say hashtag Palawin? - Palawin!

- See now that's a hashtag. That was the quickest War Cup I've ever been a part of. - We've got a couple of words to it. - I would like to bonus action shout out the one that's banged to my left. The Creature Sets and Athletics Contest. - Athletics Contest, is that also banged?

Yeah, everything's banned. The only one that's, yeah, basically. Bane is a pain. The little guy that's baned has to beat a 21. Fails for a hit. Great, so he's prone on the ground. You smash him prone with your shield. As the goat creature loses its footing. Awesome, so I get to make attacks at advantage? Oh wait, hold on, no, he's advantage, he's sure-footed, but no, he still fails. Okay, excellent. Goddamn it. He's a sure-footed goat, oh.

So, because you messed it up, I have to make a concentration, so I still have Thunderous Thighs up, I've got my Channel Divinity up, so I'm gonna make an advantage, and I'm gonna add seven to these attacks. Yep. So 15, so okay, that'll be a 22 for the first attack. Don't forget you have Inspiration.

Thank you, I'll hang on a bit. 22? Hits, of course, yeah, hits. So that'll be-- Are you getting Kajada or the-- The prone guy. You should have your smite, right? I can if I want to. Okay. Okay, great. So this'll be--

Three points of bludgeoning damage. Three points of bludgeoning damage. And then for the-- It looks third level, it's about one, I take it. To the little guy, to the boils dude that's prone to the ground. Yep, three points of bludgeoning damage. What number is that? Oh, it's two. Okay, you smash down with Dakota, hits his body. And then two thunder damage.

That's a six. 2d6, sorry. No, sorry, 2d6 thunder damage, which is seven thunder damage to the target. And he must succeed on a strength saving throw if he's prone or be pushed 10 feet away from you and knock prone. And he has to roll a d4 and subtract that as well. Correct. And who's this, Kujata? No, this is a little guy. What's his saving throw? Strength. Little buddy. I'm thinking of those goats that get paralyzed when they get scared. The fainting goats. Oh, he's a nice guy. Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So he does not get pushed back, but he takes seven points of thunder damage. - You hear a crack of the thunder as he smashes in and he's still able, despite being on the ground, he sticks his hooves into the stone. He manages to hold it. - Okay, I will make my second attack against him at advantage.

Damn. I don't know if that'll hit with a... Thank you. Booty dough! That booty dough. Ooh, nice. That'll be 21. I think it's great. I will pump a first level Divine Smite into this, so I don't have Thunder Smite going, so this will be an additional... Maybe it doesn't say anything, it just looks like it's... Seven points of bludgeoning. Okay. And then...

- 12 points of radiant damage. - 12 points of radiant damage, okay. So you smack it again. You hear the clang of Morden's hammer on the anvil as the radiant damage singes the flesh of this demon and does all of that damage and smashes into it. - How's he looking? - He's looking, he's not super bloody, I would say.

- All right guys, I think I got this guy, but you know, I'll just try to keep him down so that you don't get hurt. - Is he bloody? - Yeah, he's bloody. - Those are the first attacks on him. - True. - Yeah, it was 30 full damage, yeah. - Okay. - Wow, these guys are some goats. - Got it, okay, with that it is Ira's turn.

- I am going to... - Incubate the gods in longer style, yes. - Yeah, that's two. I'm going to... Yeah, I'm just gonna move backwards all the way up against the wall, like where that little corner is. - Okay. - Kind of like right behind where Felix is. Yeah, perfect. - I don't know. - That way I'm within range of what's his face, but still far out of things. And I am going to toll the dead. - Okay. - It's a...

- Wisdom saving throw on, what's his face? - Pujado. - He's no longer eating, right? - With a d4 minus. - That's gonna be eight. - That's still.

- Ooh, two 11s! - 22? - 22 points of damage. - And you hear that boom and boom. - Oh, and how does he try and-- - Holy shit. - And warlocks think they get the best cantram. - You can get it as a warlock, too. - Oh, shit. - Pull the dead, yeah. - Okay, with that, it is Fuchs' turn. - All right.

Well, due to the spells that I have prepared, I feel quite foolish. I'm going to cast Frostbite again. He cast Light. Con 16. Con 16, go. Minus a d4. Fail. Hold on.

So that's two must-haves. You will be disadvantaged on the next attack that Kujata makes at the end of his turn. And he'll take three points of damage. What's damage? You're also going over him, and it's-- Okay. And then I'm gonna move five, 10, 15, 20, ah, shit. Five, 10, 15, ah, shit. You're my friend anymore.

- Five, 10, 15, 20, 25 is my movement speed? - 30. - 30, and then I'm gonna use my bonus action to Misty step out here. - Okay. You do that and you see Felix just blink out of his disappear into this puff of smoke and he appears at the corner of the room.

With that, it is time. Fritio! Oh, hey, yeah, let's do our Phantasmal Force first. It's evolving, and now all the raven's heads have small red hats with the letter M on the front. NINTENDO!

Let's go. It's a me. Mario. Okie dokie. Mamma mia. Here we go. Mario. And, uh, three psychic damage. What is wrong with you? He's looking. Blood is pouring out of his ears. And, uh, I will, uh,

and then I'll say, "Hey, you know, I found this in the labyrinth. So how about a taste of your own medicine? This gauntlet thing." And I'll three times scorching ray him. - Oh, I forgot you guys have that. - Thank you kindly. I really appreciate it. Oh, that's a deck of illusions. That'd be kind of funny.

- Oh my God. - That's gonna be plus five to hit, so I'll do this three times. That's gonna be a 22 to hit. That's gonna be a natural 20. I don't know if that natural 20 is Scorching Ray. - Yeah, it does. - Yes, it does. - All right, so let's do that. And then a 18 to hit. - Yeah. - All four hit, so that's, I don't know what it is. Oh, it's 2d6 per.

So 2d6, 4d6, 2d6. Can I use your 2d6? Oh, yeah. I have a bunch of 5s. He's got a bunch of d6s. 3, 10, 13, 14,

15. You just fireballed his ass. 25. 25 fire damage to him. The glove is on your hand. Holy shit! It's an infernal blast. One hits him right in the face and his flesh is singeing off. This previously beautiful man is now not just a monster, but a horribly scarred monster as that fucking happens. Oh man, I really like this thing. This is pretty cool.

- That's my line. - That'll be the end of my turn. - He's looking rough now. Okay. - It's his turn? - It's his turn. He's no longer stunned, he's disadvantaged. The frost is around his hands as he's going to swing in and make an attack on Ingrid. - Oh no. - And he's also baned. - While it would have been a natural 20.

It swings in and you feel like it's going to hit you directly at the jugular, right at the neck. He swings in. You see the frost slowly end the fucking mummy bindings, but it just completely...

- He swings too high and it pulls him and he's completely off his game. - I played my part this game, I'm good. - Literally a 20 and a two. A 20 and a two, ladies and gentlemen. - Toes been going ham, we dis-advantaged the Shrive, CC'd him to death, we're good. - Okay, now he's going to make his other two attacks.

- Yes. And with that, he is going to make one that's gonna be a 30 to hit. - Wait, wait, wait, on whom? On whom? - On her dragon. - That's disadvantage. - It's going to be a 19 to hit. - Minus a D4. - Wow, we got that 30 to hit. - We're gonna still be on Mikey's face. - Oh, Natalie.

Now you know how we felt fighting against Ruth and Ruth. Good. Good. Just wait, motherfuckers. That look of like, it's 19 minus D4. D4.

And he swings and he misses on all of the attacks against her job. Seinfeld-based plays. Yeah, that is so insane. Toa, it's your turn. I've never seen Bane be so effective until you started using it.

- No, but you still have multiple. - I'm gonna attack him three times. - Come on, come on. - Come on, come on, come on. - Ooh, that's not good. - 60, 14.

- And yeah, less than that. - 16 misses, 14 misses, yeah. - All miss. - All miss. As you see Cho moving quickly, but now that you got a longer stun and he's getting really angry, he's now dodging everything. - Oh fuck. - Okay. Well with that, it's Oopsy's turn. - How does number one look? - I don't think he's undamaged. - One is totally undamaged. - That sucks. - I don't care for that. - I don't care for it.

So I'm gonna like stretch my spoon out in between his horns and kind of I'm going to make two spoon attacks and then also spend a ki point for two unarmed attacks. So I'm gonna like ding ding between his horns and like bop bop. Well it's the it's the

Staff attack, bonus attack, staff attack, and then a ki point for two unarmed. Yes. So ding ding. Two staffs, two unarmed. So 19 and 14 plus seven, I assume both of those is-- They all have, so 18's 14.

- Ooh, that one's less good. 10 and 11. - Yes. - Okay, so the first-- - So you're two unarmed, your spoon was hit, but the-- - The spoon! - You back money to the side of the head, but then he's able to jump back when you try to punch him. - Okay, so that's seven, plus an eight. - Isn't it doing you a plus five? - I think it's just four.

- Plus four. Yeah, so seven plus eight is 15. And then I'm gonna disengage from him with my Drunken Deathbeak. - Okay, you beat him twice, he dodges back, and then you lead back away from him. Okay, with that it is their turn. And so they're once again gonna pop their boils. Everyone but Felix needs to make a con saving throw against his knees. - Except me, I'm immune. - You're immune. - That's a con saving throw. - 22.

14, 13. Plus two if you're within 10 feet of me. 27. 17. Pass, pass, pass. 22. Derek, I'm sorry, I was playing a heist game. Plus two. What is the-- 13. What is the type of saving throw? Constitution, and I'll get a 17. Okay, so you all pass as you resist this disease as they are then going to

That one is going to then put down its head and discharge after you, Lufty. - No! - No, I hate it. - No, thank you. - Oh, shit. - It's gonna leap forward and it is going to get a 16 to hit. - It hits. - Okay. The barb pierces into you for nine points of piercing damage. - It sure does. - Make a constant intro, please. - What was the damage? - 13. - Hold on.

- Reduced by eight. - You said con is-- - What is con? - You see a special shock. - What was the hit? - 13. - Oh, she's doing con saving. Yeah, nine is the con saving throw and-- - Nine fails? - Did you get any damage? - Reduced by eight, so you only take five. - As the disease seeps into you, you are now poisoned with a strange, festering disease. Your max HP is reduced by eight. - Oh fuck.

- Okay, with that it is that this one is going to, I guess, stand there and make an attack on-- - Override Maxie. - Is going to actually run forward in between Kershaw and Priest, and is going to make an attack on Priest.

that makes sense damn not within five feet of me uh that'll be uh you can do that because the creature is going to be a absolutely the 22. i have to be 22. i have to have an ally within five feet of me so i can impose it i will use my reaction to cutting words it and i'll be like no please stop

So 22 minus one from Bane is 21 minus what? 1d8. 1d8. What are you doing? Minus three. No, you still hit. Okay. Wow. So with all that, it still hits. Close, close, close. That's going to be 13 points of piercing damage again. So a creature you can see attacks a target other than you within five feet. You can use your reaction and pose disadvantage on the attack roll, but doesn't that mean my ally? You're having a creature attack.

- Attacks an ally within five feet would be the allies within five feet. - Is the creature within five feet or the allies? - The allies within five feet. - So you guys failed it. So you feel the disease, you're now disease and your max HP drops by four. - You added the two from me. - Yeah, I rolled a two. - Okay, that is their turn. - My max HP dropped by how much? - Four. - Four? - 10, I maintain concentration. - 10, one turn. - Hergy, hergy, hergy. - My turn?

- You see, do I sense that Capricci is diseased? - I would say, yeah, you probably see that. - Okay. I'm gonna use my bonus action to try and knock... - Kujata? - Kujata, Prawn. - Strength saving throw? - Yep. - He's Bane, so... - I got a 14 for athletics.

Even with Bane, it's like well over 20, so. Oh geez, okay. He's a strong boy. Okay, I'm just going, seeing that that failed, I'm gonna turn around and smack the fiend creature. Yeah. Oof-da. Nine. Nine, miss? Misses. All right, this one might be better. 18? 18 hits.

How does he look? He's looking bloody, but not close to death. Okay. I'll pump a second level Divine Smite into this. Into which one are you doing? Into the one in front of Gorpion. Gorpion? The Gorpion. The Gorpion. The Gorpion. The Gorpion. Right in. Oops, sorry. He takes eight points of bludgeoning. Okay. And then he takes... Ooh.

He takes 15 points of radiant damage. His skin singes and his boils pop. Ew. As, yeah, fucking gross. You're gonna have to get that on me, Herja. And then I'll stay where I am. Okay. A goop here. So you singed it, smashing your flannel into Irish rock. I am going to Grootie.

I'm going to use a bonus action to cast Spiritual Weapon. Got it. And I'm going to put it down basically right in the area where Persia is, I believe. And that way it can hit both of those creatures, depending on which one I choose. Okay. It is going to immediately hit the little... Oh, I was using that as the...

but it's fine. It's going to hit the big guy, the weapon thing. The big guy. And that is going to be, it's like this space. Is it right there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 16.

16 misses. Then I'm going to use the Bardic Inspiration that I still have, and it's a d8. Yep. Fuck yeah. Dang. You'll be able to, you know, no matter what it is he says. 17, 18, 18 points. So the Crooked Flail, the good gone Crooked Flail, the spiritual turquoise-looking shooting weapon slams into Kajada with the help of its crease. And it does eight...

- Points of damage. - Eight points of damage. - Dimich, dimich, dimich. - Dimich? - Dimich. - And then I'm going to use my action to toll the dead on the big guy again. - Okay, I'll do that. - And that's a wisdom save. Plus pain. - Come on, come on. Oh, mine, oh. - Mine is pain. - Pain!

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A 12 and a 7. So, um... A 19. 19 points of damage. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.

- As he's looking rougher and rougher, his blood is coming out of his nostrils and his ears and from his eyes and his face is singed and he's looking brutal. It's almost like he's kind of losing control of this thing. He's falling apart. And with that, it is Phil's turn. - I'm gonna drop a fireball on Hersha. - Okay. - Fuck yeah. - But everyone is one, two, three, four is safe. I don't think she's in range.

That's gonna be 10, 11, plus 17, and then two more. So wait, that was 11 plus 7 is 18. Plus another 9 is 27 points of damage to the

uh kujata and number whatever that is too i guess so just those two uh yeah you can make a deck saving for us that's fine yeah that's fine either way i'm gonna protect i can pick up to six people to protect one two three four five six so whoever is gonna in it will be perfect so uh

So they have to make dex saving throw 16 or take 28. And two of them are babes, so they have to minus three or four. Number one passes, and the other two fail. All right. And so how much damage was that? So the fails take 27 points of damage apiece. And the passes take 13.

As the fireball, you see the bead appear, shoot out of Felix's finger. It drops in the middle. It explodes. The two right in the thick of it are unable to dodge. It's too quick. As the one is able to dodge some of it, it singes its flesh. As you see, you're like, ah!

is this complete goat creature in front of you completely is incinerated and falls to the ground dead. Kajal is horribly burned. Damn it. I want to kill Kajal so bad. He's horribly burned and he's looking deathly rough. So half of 27 is 13. Fuck that guy.

- Okay. - Tiller can finish them all. - Okay, with that, it's Caprice's turn. - How rough is he looking? - He's looking pretty rough. - Pretty rough? - He's pretty rough. - Probably not enough. - Yeah, I mean, he's not like on the edge of that. - Yeah, probably not enough. Even if he hadn't passed. Or even if he, yeah.

Yeah. Sorry, Toad can triple attack his ass. All right, I will run up, and he's still hearing Country Road in his ears, so let's do that damage first. I'm going to stand right here next to the spiritual weapon. Yeah. So that'll be six points of psychic damage from the Country Road birds snapping at his eyes and what have you. And

And I will cast, I will just, I'm playing the tune Country Road, and I'll just bang really hard on the peak of the song, and Thunder Wave at second level. Okay. Nice. Saving throw? Oh, come on. That'll be a constitution saving throw. He's banged.

So 20 minus 16 plus... - 20 minus four? - So minus four, so 20. He's a 20. - He gets a 20, so he succeeds, but he still takes half and isn't pushed of 3d8 damage, so it comes to five, nine,

- 15, he takes half of 15. - Half of 15 is seven. - Seven, as you let out the blind, he managed to hold his footing. He's knocked back, but he still gets blasted. - Take care of business, Toa! And I'll give him an inspiration of the bardic variety. - Very nice.

- 60. - It's a no. - Okay, no, it's his turn as he's infuriated by the sound of the birds and the Mario and the country roads and he's gonna look at you, Caprice, as he is going to swing his massive glaive down at you and get a natural one. - Yay, dude, yay, dude. - You're retired, okay.

Natural 1. Okay. 1 in 4 in a chance, ladies and gentlemen. 1 in 4,000 if he can go all the distance. Good Bane. That's not gonna happen. Cutting Words? You can try. 1d8. Okay. It's my last one. Uh...

- 15. - Didn't even hit it. - 15 hits, barely. - So he slices, yeah, almost, almost. As you, cutting words, he still manages to cleave into you, dealing.

- 19 points of slashing damage. - 19 points of slashing damage. - Swings his massive blade into you. Marcus, how are we? - Just one moment, let me just calculate that. - So he hit you? - Yeah. - Huh? - I thought he was disadvantaged.

- Why? - 'Cause of your-- - I missed all my attacks, so it didn't mark him. - Oh, well then I will impose protection and make that disadvantage. - Okay. - Sorry, I just assumed that was what was going on. - No, it's still, that's a 19. - Okay, minus the d4. - Oh, it's still hit. - Yeah, 'cause it's a 15 hit. - Yeah, so, yeah. So, and then I will...

maintain concentration remarkably, but I'm... - Okay, I believe that's his turn. Joe, you're up. - Go, buddy. - All right, I will... - Three 90/20s right here. - I'm just gonna get there, hopefully...

block any movement towards Lufty and I will just attack twice. 19, 3, and I'll let, so 2 hit. 2 hit. He's gonna use his reaction to make a swing attack on you, which I forgot he had. And so he's gonna swing his, and he's still hitting. On me? Yeah. 21 to him. Nope, yeah, that does it. So he is going to get...

15 points of slashing damage on you as he swings and smacks your face. So what happens? That's better. As he swings his glade, he's breathing his bloody... I don't even notice it as I go in with my attacks that hit. Oh, maybe he does. 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, plus...

Plus 10 is 22, plus 4 is 26. 26. As you smash your maul in over and over. Hold on, 26. Come on. Oh, shit. How do you do this? Yes! My man. Nice. Um...

Basically, as I'm attacking, he's turning around and he just cuts into me and I don't even know. I just ignore him as our weapons pass. And I just want to smack him right in the face and keep his skull on. Okay. So as he's like, no, it's a turtle! As he swings at you and you see Toa, his eyes are glossed over. He is moving like the wind of his namesake. There are swirling spirits. A shark, a sea turtle, a boar, a moa. They're all swirling around him in his trance as he slithers

smashes into his side as he stumbles downward, giving you a perfect aim as you bring your maul down and smash in his skull. You see it crash as his brain spills everywhere and he collapses onto the ground and you see it kind of shimmering and he's dead and you see him fall

You see a swift group, a swift bit of movement as almost in a blur, Zurn is somehow able to move in a single movement. He withdraws his greatsword and with one arm, slices it and the demon that is directly next to Lufti is sliced in half.

And falls to the ground and Quiet returns to the room and you see Zurn, the eyes in the pommel of the raven glowing and he shakes the blood off and he puts it back on his back. - I just want to immediately Misty Step to tell him and see if he's okay. - Are you all right, buddy?

I'm gonna cast... Is the haste okay? Was that too much? Oh, yes. It was...

I'm gonna dispel rage if it feels like we're good. I'm gonna cast Healing Word, or Mass Healing Word at a third level. I hadn't done that before and I just wanted to make sure you were all right. It was incredible, it let me do so much more. Seven points of health. I rub my shoulder and I'm like, ah, study's paying off, I guess. My max HP stays the same until long enough. You should do that every time. Yes. Okay. Hey, health, health, health. I'm freaking out, how you feeling?

- You know, I think I'm gonna drink one of these healing potions. - Well, hold on, hold on. - How much was the heal? - Seven. - I'm gonna rub to Zurn. - He looks at you, he's like, "I'm fine." - I'm at about 50%. - Are you diseased? They were spreading diseases, you were just standing there. - I'll give you 20 points of landings. - He seems completely unharmed as he says, "Kajata," as he steps forward and he takes his huge boon and kicks him over with a single thrust.

as he looked down at the corpse of this man, like, "Your plan was really just to freeze me and murder me while I was powerless with your goat minions. Pathetic." And he looked all of you-- "Pathetic?" "It is thanks to you I am still alive." "Hi, General. I don't mean to be so presumptuous, but that seemed like he was completely unprepared for this. I'm shocked that we were not overpowered."

Anubis shines his light down on us. I think we sort of slipped through the cracks on this one. I don't think he was... If we had not had the ability to control him the way we did, we would have been putty in his hands. I don't think he was expecting that we would have that kind of magic at our fingertips. He was always the cocky boy. He was not expecting that strangers from outside the city would be able to defeat him. And had it been anyone else with those powers...

- I'm impressed. - We have a long way to go, but I am impressed. - Thank you. - Without touching him, I wanna hunker down and I wanna look at what's going on with that arm item. - As you hunker down, he immediately turns away.

No, not him. Oh. I mean the arm that was, he said that the. He had a magic. His hand was red. Oh, that was the magic that he used to. So it's not an item. It was not an item or anything. It was a spell that he, or it was magic that he cast on someone. I'll still hunker down and I would like to examine the body to see what I see. Make an investigation check. I would be happy to.

with a 12. 12. You look around and you see that his body is starting to shrivel in death. And although he doesn't return to his original state, he kind of shrinks back. And you see this horrible, just kind of ruined slash burned amalgamation of the man that you saw briefly before and a minotaur creature. And...

Zurn kicks the glaive like you may have that as a trophy if you like. His body is mine. As well as the body of that newspaper man and all of his ilk. If it makes you feel better, this is a little grotesque, but the priest convinced someone that worked at the newspaper that his penis was going to fall off. So you could take his penis and they would haunt him forever. Wellington was his name. Go for it. They all wished that that was their fate. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, no, you can have this guy's body if you want. I mean, he looks kind of like an empty Capri Sun right now, but I think we're going to be all right. Oh, my God. Are you a man like that once? That was so good. Don't leave me hanging. I'm sorry. It's okay. I was waiting on Cam. So, as the quiet...

returns and Zurn steps out of the room and surveys the damage. To my own private guard with these demons, I have gotten blind and relied on trust of my eyes that I should not have trusted. We have sat too long while the enemy marches and knocks on our doorstep. The army of Zentra

We'll stay silent no longer. We will stay still no longer. We will stay useless no longer. The army of Zentra marches to war. And that is World War I in the Session. - Oh, he did it! - That was super exciting. - So, I'm so thrilled to share with him my song that I've prepared about informing the troops about the Horned Legion.

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