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Let's go places.
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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Man.
I had one of those dreams last night that I destroyed my favorite pair of sunglasses. You ever have one of those dreams where you destroy something? Yeah. Or something fucked up really bad happens and you, like... I was so thankful when I woke up and I was, like...
than I was dreaming. Oh, yeah. Because then you got your sunglasses back and it's like nothing happened. But it's more that I was upset about my actions that led to the sunglasses being destroyed. But I don't remember what it was I was doing. I just remember being on my knees in an asshole parking lot just going, no! No!
And I was just looking at my broken sunglasses, and I don't think I was crying about the sunglasses. As much as how much of an idiot you are. I'm a fucking, I'm an idiot. I'm a moron. I don't know. Have you ever had that? Well, you have a lot of violent dreams. I have violent dreams. I also get the dream a lot where, like, we're about to go do a sketch show, and then, you know, I'm walking on stage, and you're like, no, we're doing this sketch. You don't know your lines? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back up.
And then I had this other dream that we were doing a show for a bunch of orphans, and they were in the mezzanine, and they were jumping from mezzanine to mezzanine. They were just so restless, and we're trying to perform and stuff. And then one of the kids fell and died, and then all the other kids started to jump off the mezzanine and kill themselves during our show. Welcome to Side Stories. Hey, I'm Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. He's got great dreams. I love the idea. I don't know why.
Mass suicide by a bunch of orphans in the middle of a show is kind of romantic. It feels like it's a My Chemical Romance music video. I feel like it's the kind of thing that happens in Bali.
Yeah. Yeah, once they're done dancing. Once the music stops, the orphans get sad again. So, this week on Side Stories, fun updates. Lots of stuff going on. Lots of stuff going on. A lot of show to get to. Number one, you remember how, what I love, one of my favorite things about Side Stories, which now you've seen, and I still love it, it never gets old, when we spend about 10, 15 minutes talking about a thing or a subject.
And then it's all wrong. And then the next day, like, provenly, immediately debunked. Yeah. Torn apart. One of my favorites. We're only as good as the news we get. And guess what? The news ain't good, friends. The news ain't good. But Angie Harmon...
Number one is a Republican. I was wrong about that. Did not know. That's fine. Whatever. Who cares? So Angie Harmon, we covered last week. Her dog, Oliver, was shot by an Instacart driver. She named her dog after an orphan. I guess. The most famous orphan. The most famous orphan of all. A hungry child. Yeah. Always name your dog after a hungry child.
Can I have some more Instacart driver? That's what happened. And then he was just like, no, this is fucking socialism, dude. And he shot him in the head. No, that's unfair to socialism. That's unfair to socialism.
But apparently, all that was wrong. Because they said that the Instacart driver had shot the dog without any provocation. The dog did not rush the Instacart driver. There was no indication, apparently, originally, according to Angie Harmon, that the dog was... She said originally the dog didn't do anything to the driver. Now it's kind of coming out. There's a police report that immediately came out, said that the dog did attack the Instacart driver lightly. I mean...
I still think shooting it is overkill. It's half beagle. But, you know, yeah, it is a family dog. Yeah, I know. I mean, yes. You don't have to shoot it that. Just because Angie Harmon sucks doesn't mean her kids needed to get their dog murdered in front of them. Honestly, it might teach the kids a lesson. It might help them. I mean, it will probably create several Eric Trumps. But in the meanwhile, like... They're all going to start hunting dogs. They're going to start hunting dogs. Yeah.
Being like, I didn't know how fun this could be. Thanks, mommy. And she's like, I'm in Rizzoli and Isles. I don't know. I feel like I still lie on the same way I felt even with the new information. Yes. I still think that this Instacart driver's a bitch. I just don't think you need to shoot the dog. We know. You don't need to shoot the dog. I don't care how, if I get bit by a St. Bernard, I will let it live. Well, I'll punch it and then run away.
We'll save your art, so I might kill you. Let's just move past the dog death.
There's a whole bunch of cops murdering dogs. We know. They're spending a lot of money. They're spending a lot of money on these murdered dogs. There's a lot of cops murdering dogs. I promise you we wouldn't talk about it, but it is a lot. It's a bummer. Hundreds of dogs a year. Yeah, it's a bummer. Because they're considered property and no one seems to give a fuck. It's a lot of bad information. No one likes it. It's really, really bad. It is really, really sad because dogs are considered property, but they're not. They're little children. They have souls and they dream.
Yeah. And they dream about us. And you know what was interesting about what I read about the expose on the cops shooting the dogs is that in the past 70 years, not one cop has ever been killed by a dog. But cops have killed multiple people while trying to shoot dogs. Yeah, yeah. Including other cops. It isn't bad. No, I don't like it. It's hard to make humor from it.
It's not funny. It's just insane. Do you know the name of the blog or whatever it was so people could read it at home? Yeah. If you want to read about this. Get really fucking, you want to get really, really upset. Oh, yeah. It's on criminallegalnews.org. Criminallegalnews.org. Yeah. The DOJ police shooting family dogs has become an epidemic. Cool.
And masks don't help. Made by Dale Chappelle. Whoa, weird. Interesting. I'm wondering if there's any relation. So that's that update. Again, everything we say is wrong the next day. You know what's not wrong is having Holden McNeely on Side Stories. Yes, we have tallied.
Truly. Some of the, we got a lot of responses about Holden McNeely guest starring on last week's episode. And I'm going to say. Some real polling was done. Real polling. And I'm going to say he pulled a squeaker. We're looking at a 53% approval rating for Holden McNeely on Side Stories, which means he's coming back. Yes. We're going to come back. That's a Biden W, guys. Suck it, you fucks. Sorry. That's what we're looking for in November, dude.
That's as good as it's going to get. All right. Lesser of two evils. Yeah. So he did win that. The vitriol coming forth, though, that is anti-Holden McNeely. It's wild. We hear you. I'm going to put it in the unreasonable category. But for those of you that just listen to it, you know, they get it. It's like, again, whatever keeps his family safe. And if him getting it out of his system on the show does it,
then we've already done our job for society, haven't we, Ed? That's right. That's right. That's right. Hail his daughter. Hail his daughter. This is for his daughter. That's why we have him on the show. Remember that next time. The man who talked about a minute and a half rapping about how he wants to cut his own dick off, he's a father and he's a husband. Yeah. So think about his family. Think about his family. He doesn't, but you can. So that's another thing. So I guess he's going to come back at some point. Holden McNeely is back on the menu.
All right, we got a couple of other updates. A lot of show here. A lot of fucking show. Yeah, a lot of things going on. Another update is Ethan Crumbly's parents in an absolutely astounding move. This might set precedent.
This might change everything. James and Jennifer Crumbly, the parents of Michigan school shooter Ethan Crumbly, have been sentenced to 10 to 15 years in prison for manslaughter for essentially aiding and abetting their son in his school shooting. So they got guns for him. We covered a little bit about the trial. Watch some of this trial footage. It's extremely heartbreaking. Jennifer Crumbly was too busy getting her fucking, getting trains ran on her in various parking lots to care for her son's fucking, uh,
mental issues. He was desperately crying for help and they instead they bought him a shotgun gun. Yeah. Which as far as I know doesn't always make you happy like but at the same time you know buying a shotgun let's save it for innocent people.
Yeah, they wanted to give them 28 months, but they ended up getting 15 years. Yes, as they should. I'm glad they got the book thrown at them. Jennifer Crumbly is saying, I will be in my own internal prison for the rest of my life before I address this court directly. I want to do something that I have never been able to do.
I want to say, I can't imagine the pain and agony for the families. I physically cannot imagine things. I have no mind's eye. That's not true. She didn't say that. They have lost their children. And what they're experiencing and what they're going through, she doesn't add. She doesn't end that thought. She doesn't end that thought at all. I wonder if the father will end up in prison with the son. There are...
Ooh, actually, I don't know. I feel like the father is going to be put in isolation as well. They're both in isolation. Ethan Crumbly's for certain in isolation. Yeah, but why would they be isolated from each other? Well, they will definitely split up. I actually think that they... Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. I don't know. I wonder because I feel like
The Menendez brothers are separated. Yeah. They do separate. They do tend to separate people that they would view as being bad influences on each other. Like the idea that Ethan Crumbly and his father would sort of talk about, you know, I don't know how that works. If I was the father, I would beat the living shit out of him if I saw him in prison. Of course. But Ethan Crumbly, I think, is an indifferent set altogether because he's there for felony purposes.
first degree murder where they're going in for manslaughter. So I don't know if they'll go in the same prison system. I don't think it works like that. I think that they might go to a smaller, less security, more like a medium security prison versus a maximum security prison. Is manslaughter a violent crime?
It's an accident, right? It's not cuddling. You know what I mean? It's not a professional masseuse. But it's not murder. It's not homicide. It's manslaughter. But, you know, it's got a cooler name. It does have a cooler name. So I don't know. I actually don't know. That's a very good question. All right. I think a manslaughter is a violent crime. But largely, it's about the intent.
Yeah. Yes. Mind slaughter is a violent crime. According to FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting, UCR program, which defines violent crimes as those that involve force or the threat of force. Sure. Done. Done.
Don, don't need you. Side stories. LPOTL at gmail.com. Email me about other things, like do you have poop stuck inside of your butthole? One thing I will say about the Crumblies is they look like they don't leave too many Crumblies behind. They're fat. Well, she's just more unpleasant looking. Say what you will about Jennifer Crumbly. She was getting that butthole fucking...
team, dude. She was getting out there, getting that fucking... I guess James is really tiny. James is tiny. James wasn't giving Jennifer what she wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't pleasing her. He wasn't pleasing her. That's why she had to go out there and she had to fuck whatever she could fuck. She was doing it in parking lots and hotels, and that woman is an unpleasant woman. But she might be, who knows? She might kiss like a champion. I don't think so. You don't think Jennifer Crumbly doesn't kiss good? She has no lips. Yeah, but sometimes a thin-lipped woman makes up extra for chin action. Ha!
Slaps that tongue in and out of them. Man, I love sucking me some gin. I like a flat-ass gin, brother. Another update. We have another update. A lot of stuff today. We got some great information on Greg Locke. Some of it that I wonder whether or not we will, we should even say. Like, I did get a message yesterday.
I'm just going to say it. Just say it. I mean, we don't know if this is true. Of course not. But we did get a message about this. Craig Locke's meth dealer and the person who met his meth dealer and how Craig Locke would continue to proselytize at his meth dealer, which is honestly, that's a good way to go. Because if you can, as a preacher, if you can mobilize, if you can mobilize the meth community to do your preaching for you, you're going to get quadruple the preaching. Yeah. That's a discount.
Amount of gums flapping Because that's street team That is a street team It's a literal street team And you could talk to other meth heads And convince them I feel like it's easier to convince a meth head That Jesus is real Than somebody who's just sober Sure why not Because they want out right I mean if you're a priest and you're giving people meth That's going to make them believe in God
Yeah. See, that's fucking dope. Right, man? Smoking teeth for Christ. Fucking dude, that's what you got to do, friend. But Greg Locke, just for those of you, a little reminder, last week we covered how Greg Locke is a preacher for Global Vision Online Community. That's the Global Vision Church is the name of his church. I was looking at the online community Facebook because he got a great quote from one of his followers. He runs this little shit-ass
fucking megachurch in the middle of nowhere. They found a trailer of Bibles that was burnt on his property, and we at Last Podcast on the left are pretty fucking certain he was the one who burnt the Bibles in order to talk about the various fat communist people
pegs that were burning Bibles on his property. We also know that's probably horseshit because I got great messages talking about, oh, you mean the field that's surrounded by Greg Locke's personal security team? That's where they found? Yeah. And it was a trailer, like a giant trailer, which ain't cheap. And then 200 Bibles. It's a big prank. You could have done the same prank with 10 Bibles. Oh, you could have done one. You don't need 200. You just need one.
200 Bibles is like, who are we doing this for? God doesn't care. No, exactly. God didn't write it. Atheists would not do this. No, atheists get laid. Atheists have a thing to do. Well, not atheists. Atheists are also annoying. I find anybody who's any purer of anything slightly annoying. Yeah, I mean, I'm an atheist, but I don't even really believe in that. I don't even believe in atheism. That's the thing. I don't really just believe in anything besides portos.
In the valley. Amen. And Satan, the power of Satan, but also the power of Satan would be expressed through the power of baked goods. Would it not be? Yeah, I guess I'm more agnostic. I'm fully agnostic. I'm agnostic about all things. But you're a Satanist. Yes, but Satanist is way more of, I view that as societal...
Yeah. Like I am a person that like because we don't believe Satanists don't believe in a deified Satan. We believe in the symbolism behind the hypocrisy of the church. And also it's fun to say you're a Satanist because it still does continue to get people mad in the country, which is all we want. Yeah. Because we're contrarians by nature.
Sometimes not pleasant. Yeah. Free Bible lessons I saw on the street today. Oh, yeah. I saw those guys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, great. Yeah. Thank you. I wanted to say I'm a Satanist to them, but then I chickened out. I need to get more Zabowski balls. Nah, you don't want to. My thing, too, is that it depends on how you're channeling them. If you come to me, I say I'm in league with Satan.
I literally just say those words. Yes. I'm in league with Satan? What does that mean exactly? Because to them it sounds more frightening. Yeah. I'm in league with Satan. You know what I mean? But it's also, I always say, barking up the wrong tree, brother. Yeah. Hell yeah. Woo. Yeah. But I always listen to Stephen Colbert's advice about character acting. Wear your character as light as a cap. Yeah. But he's also a God freak.
Yeah, he's a stranger. He's got a lot of stuff going on there. I don't want to know his inner life. So we have some, that was not only the only updates we have about Greg Locke. So I got a good message. This is just an example of just some of the people that love Greg Locke. This was a post online on the Global Vision online community, the Facebook group for his church.
I recently found out I had a demon in my womb put there by witches to attack my ministry, having babies and raising them as godly warriors. Every time I got pregnant or after I had a baby, Satan would try to kill me or cause a lot of problems, such as give my husband severe depression.
Today, I did deliverance on myself with the help of Isaiah Saldivar's video. I felt the demon through my skin. It was writhing under my hands while I was telling it to go. I said, go, demon. I had to be firm with it. I was very stubborn. Satan himself told it to stay. After demanding it to go, I felt something cough, right? It coughed. And then it went still to try and fool me.
Right? But God said it was still there, so I carried on. Then I felt a release. I coughed again. And then peace. It left me. I feel amazing. There you go. See, again, she did it herself. She worked it out for herself. But Greg Locke is not just inspiring with his words. He's also inspiring with his music. Oh, my God. You think Holden McNeely has bars? People...
thought that Holden McNeely's rap was the best part of his appearance. Yeah. And I was shocked by that. Because it was my least favorite part. You made him do it. Yes. And had no plan to do that. Also, Rob can attest to that. There was no plan to have him rap. 100% on the fly. It was just trying to get... It was like, it's why I imagine why his parents put a Game Boy in his hands. So he had something to do. Please shut up. So now, this next video, we're showing here... So, Greg Locke, he... God, he's good.
God is good, isn't he? Because what we did not know is that Greg Locke started off life, I guess, as a child rapper. Yeah, Heaven M. I hate that. Rev Rhymes. Rev Rhymes is his hip-hop name. He did this later on. So this was a video from 10 years ago. So for a while, I guess he tried to revamp his child rapping ways. And then he made a new song. He made this rap called Victims of the Traffic by Rev Rhymes.
Only 15,000 views, which I'm kind of surprised by. But here's a little chunk, just so you know, because you know we like to keep it real here at The Breakfast Club. Yeah.
Five fingers to death. There are more people in the bondage of slavery today than at any other time in the history of the world. 40% of all of our missing children in America are caught in sex trafficking rings. Yep. The average individual that is trafficked is sold for $90. It's a discount. 75% of them are sold by someone that they know very well. Yup.
Oh, shit. Yeah, dude. That's some discount ass shoes, dude. Standing in a fucking puddle. He don't give a shit. Yeah, his shoes are wet as fuck. There's an evil in these streets, but people, they keep walking. The government is hush-hush and preachers ain't talking. Everybody's quiet as a mouse. Cause you don't get concerned unless it happens in your house. Oh, shit. I see it on the street.
Nothing says Nashville like a white man rapping. Leah! Leah! What? What?
I don't think he paid for location fees. I don't like human trafficking. No. Oh, shit! Damn!
Oh, shit. Did we add that? Oh, yeah. Good work, bro. But it does end with a giant explosion. It does. So if you guys were worried about the overwhelming power of Greg Glock and worrying about what he was going to do, like I would be.
Yeah. Because that type of rhymes, that's what connects to the Zoomers. The Zoomers, I've heard, they like pizza parties. They like rap music. They like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A lot of the Zoomers, they're really into Pez, fidget spinners. As long as you really center that, Greg Locke, he's coming for her kids. And we got to be careful because those types of filthy ass fucking honky licks are...
are the shit that fucking gets people radicalized. Amen to that. Yeah, so we gotta be careful, man. Speaking of fun priests and preachers... Oh, so we're done with... Yeah, I think we're done with the updates. If you have anybody has any other Greg Locke information... I wanna know. Side stories, lpotl at gmail.com. I don't like him. I don't like him, but I'm kind of obsessed with him all the time. Yes, you have become obsessed, but that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good for the show.
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Let's go places. All right, so check this out. This is from The Motherland.
A Polish priest... Oh, budgie, budgie. A Polish priest is in jail after a man collapsed after having too many erectile drugs at the cleric's sex party. Holy shit. It sounds like it's Father Diddy. Got him! Yeah!
Yeah, so apparently this Polish priest...
has an orgy at his own home. That's awesome. And then he was pumping this dude full of erectile dysfunction drugs. Look at the smile on his face. He looks like he's sitting on one right now. His name is Gursagors Karzak. Karzak. Bishop of the Diocese of Susnozbe. Yeah. Stepped down in 2023 following the scandal. Dude, I don't know why it's a scandal if everybody's an adult and they're just straight fucking. That's like normal almost. I think...
If you need more than one Viagra, maybe don't go to a sex party. Dude, how many Viagras would you... Because you've dabbled. A long time ago, I mean, you would eat like a quarter. But you dabble... But I'm also a normal man. Yeah, and you like did the horny goat weed stuff. You do the stuff behind the counter. I tried to... When I was like 20, I tried the gas station shit. Yeah. And that just made... I thought I was having a heart attack. Yeah, sure. It's not good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.
pop of Viagra? I've never taken a Viagra. I've taken half of one a long time ago. Does it make you hard instantly or is it one of those things that when you are at Viagra... It takes like 20-something minutes. But is it then... Are you just in hard until you come or can you choose? I mean, you stay hard after you come and then you're ready to go again. And then it takes longer to come.
Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, but does it just, it's just hard and you're like, hopefully somebody's here for me to stick this in? Yeah, well, yeah. Well, hopefully you have a plan when you take it. Yeah, you can't just willy-nilly pop it in. Sometimes I'm like, I was thinking about just taking one and going to a movie. I remember one of the funniest things I ever saw was some kid in my high school took half of one right before football practice.
His dick was just like pressed against the cup the whole time. He's complaining about it. Yeah, I feel like it's something that's not good. What is that? What do you look at? Oh, you're looking at the updo. I'm seeing Rob pulled up a bunch of over-the-counter dick pills. I'm sure whatever I took is illegal now. Oh, yes. Because usually they can sell anything and then the FDA gets to it and then they got to change it to one ingredient or something.
Now, this priest who is referred to, the guy that was his Tomasi, right? Now, you sell Viagra illegally. Obviously, there is a, you know, do we know it's Viagra? Or could this just be warning? He said erectile drugs. So we don't know that it's actually. That's called Pfizer trying to cover up their fucking pads, dude. What is a Polish Viagra? Trying to think of it. It's like a stick up your asshole.
Oh, Big Boy 9. It's a pierogi. Wow, look at this. Oh, it's a walrus. It's called Male Enhancement Big Boy 9 times. It's got a walrus on it. It says time, size, stamina. No headache. $55. If you have to advertise no headache, it means it gives you a headache. Well, just the idea of like, I don't know if Natalie would appreciate me becoming a he.
a heaving walrus. Ooh, King Kong here. King Kong. Even just the idea of, I think that some women might be fine with the idea of a silverback gorilla pumping away at him, but I think for the most part, most women would say, I prefer the gentleness of a man. Yeah, please. I think Julie's favorite part is when it's over. No, it's that it even happened...
in the first place. I think that's important. It's about the journey. Explain it to her the next time. It's just an extremely short journey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this priest has to pay the victim 15,000 zlotys, which is Polish money. Yeah. Which translates to 3,000 euros in damages for having to go to the hospital. Well, I guess he could have... You know, I feel like this is one of those things, too, where, like...
If it's just adults having an orgy and they have to figure out how to get their jollies out, this could have been done under the table. He could have paid this guy off to the sign. If you're really going to be, if you're just, if there's no kids here,
I don't blame them at all. It really seems like it's a victimless crime. Well, yeah. Well, that guy passed out because he gave him a bunch of erectile pills, but it sounds like he's asking. But he might have taken them himself for all we know. But also, he just threw the party. Wasn't he just asking for the erectile pills? Was he saying, more, more? Me need, me stem needs more. Much, much. Much, much. Yeah, I need more for my taste, of course. I need to have my penis be punched. Yeah.
And then you're like, all right, Grigor. You know what I mean? Like they gave it, just give him whatever he wants. Cause if not, he's going to drink all the potato based vodka. Yeah. And then, um, the Bishop stepped down, uh,
Oh, yeah, because it sounds like he was there, but he was... Seems like he was there, but he had no reason for his resignation. He has the smile on his face like he's watching his wife get eaten out by another man. Yeah. Well, he doesn't have a wife. He's a priest. That's what's awesome about being a priest. Yeah. Every woman in your congregation's her wife. Yeah, they don't mention if it was all men or, you know, they just say it was an orgy. I think it might be dude-based. I think so, too. I think it might be some of the... I do feel like in Europe...
Because you remember with Berlusconi. Yeah. They didn't even mind the Bunga Bunga party. I think in Italy, they didn't even really care about the Bunga Bunga parties. No, they cared. But I thought they said that they liked that about him. I thought they were like, hey, that's my spaghetti president. I think some people were like that. He like to make a peachy. Oh, you know how to no no coms. He makes a gnocchi on a butter. He was removed from office. Yes. But.
But I thought that was for financial reasons. I thought it was way more for other problems. I thought the Bunga Bunga party, they all kind of understood. I thought Bunga Bunga parties was a thing that was happening across the boot. Yeah, I think so as well. I don't know. But we don't know for sure. I don't know for certain. Don't know for sure. But we do know that this Polish priest was...
throwing rectum parties in the rectory. I think it should be, if everyone's a consenting adult, I think it should be allowed and celebrated in a European fashion, which is having a cigarette for breakfast. Have you ever seen like a priest domicile, like where they live? It's like dorms. Yeah, it's horrible. Yeah, and it's basically, they just have a bed and a dresser. Yeah, all it is is a secret keeping closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I imagine it's good for sex. Do you really? I mean...
It's just a bed. What else are they going to do in the room? I have a light nun thing, obviously. Yeah, you're into it. But more so, I just want... Too baggy. Yeah, but I don't get none of there. Yeah. But the idea of being horny in a rectory... Like, look at this man. Look at this pedophile.
There's this man who's sitting here, priest and nuns. He's sitting on his little cot. He's got his little thing. I hate this man. I look at him. He's got a little checkerboard little thing. He's sitting here. I don't like a priest out of costume. Don't lie to me. It's like a police officer. I should be able to say, are you a priest? And then you have to tell me, even though that's also a myth. I also don't want to see your socks. Never. If I see your socks, I know you're a priest. I know you're a fucking priest.
All right, we got some other stuff here. That's a horrible story. No, actually, I think it's pure. I feel like this guy was, you know, basically they're just in trouble for the drugs. Yes, and I think if you were in Europe, you should encourage your priest to have sex with adults. All priests should fuck adults. Love that. I think we're on this. I think we can lift the entire idea of celibacy, but I don't know why we're not there yet. Or, you know, you could also have women be priests.
Blech. You're not going to church. You don't give a shit. Who cares? I'm not having ladies in there. Honestly, I think women... There are some women priests. Not Catholic. I thought they won some. I thought there was like... No, there's like...
There's like Baptists and shit like that. But Catholicism doesn't allow. That's why they're all nuns. I know. And then they surprise why they attract a bunch of weirdos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. And now there's no nuns. They're losing nuns. Nuns aren't fun. We're going to see the end of nuns in our lifetime. I hope that we do. Yeah. I'd love to see the end of nuns. I dislike nuns. What's the point of doing it?
You don't even get to preach. Yeah, you get nothing out of it. You get nothing out of it. You just have to mop the floors all day. Well, it does help if you're just kind of... I feel like if you're a strange person, and I think that it's good for you to have a kind of structured environment for you to go be in. I think that anybody that chooses that type of truly restrictive monastic experience is probably, on the whole, deeply unsatisfied with life or themselves or something else going on, looking for purpose. I do think that some people do believe in the higher calling aspect, but...
But then they're trapped inside of an extremely corrupt system. And then they go there. And I just think a lot of nuns are just fucking mean. Oh, I know that for a fact. And I am famous for a line where I said all nuns are lesbians. But I actually think that some of them are also pedophiles. There you go. Isn't that fun? There you go. I got hit by a nun. Sister Dolores. She's fucking dead. All right, here we go. We got another great story.
Now, this is... I thought this story was fascinating. And it's very, very interesting. Because we covered a little bit with Natalia Grace. And we talked about how the government...
It's wild that the government almost has magical properties over our identities and how if the government decides, like, tell me, Grace, the government just decided she was 22 and then it's done. It has now happened. Legally, magically, she has transformed from a little girl to a 22-years-old person. But it's interesting. But it's also, it works with identities. You can squat on an identity like you would squat on
on a piece of property. Oh, I love this story. And you could, Scott, like, there's a way to do this. And this is an example of, like, how the legal loopholes that go around the esoteric nature of literally our names and identities, like, how they can make decisions that, like, affect who
you are as a human being and because it's on a piece of paper, it has now become like real. Yeah. It's very interesting. This is probably the most extreme case of identity theft I've ever heard of. Well, it's also because of the, it's kind of like a ramp up and it's like nothing fully, like how do you put it, over the top bad happened until the very end and then it just started spiraling. So-
This was a high level Iowa hospital systems administrator by the name of Matthew Karens was admitted to stealing a co-worker's identity and posing as William Donald Woods for more than 30 years. Yeah. And he was able to get away with it because William Donald Woods became homeless. Now, this is it's wild. So so just here we go. Remember this. So Matthew Karens is the guy.
who's now being prosecuted for identity theft. Yeah. The man whose identity he stole was a man by the name of William Donald Woods. Billy Woods. They met. Great rapper. Great rap name. Great rapper. Great rap name. They met while they were working at a hot dog stand. Now, this happened, it was about 1988. They worked together at a hot dog stand in New Mexico.
From then on. No way it was good. What are you talking about? Street meat. Albuquerque street meat. Yum, yum. But William, this guy, Kearns is going to face, he could face up to 32 years in prison for this. And he must pay a $1.25 million fine. So he worked with this guy, worked with William, Billy Woods at a hot dog stand.
And then he then would use Billy Woods' name and likeness, identity, in every single aspect of his life, in every way, since 1988 until now. Employment, insurance, he got a social security number, a driver's license, titles, loans, credit, everything.
Basically, what found out is that William Donald Woods didn't know that someone stole his identity until he was already on the street. And then he found out by like, you know, because a lot of homeless guys still like will have bank accounts. Like, they still have a life. They're still a human being. And so he went in and he found out that he was in $150,000 in debt. And he's like, I have a grocery cart. There is no way I'm $150,000. I would have seen some of that cash.
Yeah. And so, yeah, $130,000, but not that that matters when you're, you know, $100 is, you know, $1,000 at that point. It started in 1990 where the Kierens was working as a newspaper carrier for the Denver Post.
And that's when he first got an ID in Woods' name. The next year, Kierens bought a vehicle for $600. Remember back in the day? Oh, my God. Remember? Man, I sold a car for $75 one time. Yeah, yeah. The tempo. Wow. Oh, yeah, the one that was stuck in Holden's parking lot for months, where it was like the last time you parked it, and you're like...
Now it lives here. Lost a lot of good t-shirts in that. Yep. And so he came forward. So that happened. And he basically, he realized he bought this car and then he
his checks bounced. So Kierens was already being shady. The checks bounced. He then took that stolen vehicle. He stole the video that he basically ran with after his checks bounced. And then the car broke down and he abandoned it. And there was immediately an arrest warrant in Woods' name. So this immediately happened. He immediately made Woods a criminal by leaving this thing behind. It was crazy. And then he started, he then got a job together. He created a fake resume. This is the
power of a fake resume. Yes. I'm actually going to say this as advice. Lie more on your resume. I hate fake it till you make it. The problem is that's how fucking the wrong foot gets cut off. As long as it's not in a hospital.
at the insurance company. Like, think about where you're going. If you're going to go work for a graphic designer, you can lie. You think so? If you're going to go work for me... If I got a shitty graphic back, I'd be mad. Yeah, that's the thing. You don't find out until you get that first paycheck and then you go. And you run away. The key is how long can you keep the grift going, but then the grift, slowly but surely, turns into a job. If you can swing it. You just have to be good. The first couple weeks are super crucial. Yeah, and then you go up to your co-worker and be like, hey! Yeah!
How do you do that? Yeah, and then something happens. But just if it's not what this guy did. So he managed to fraudulently, Kieran's managed to fraudulently obtain Woods' birth certificate, which you can do.
By having now set up a bunch of various things because he got some car loans, he got some stuff. He then got a job faking an entire resume as a high-level administrator in the hospital's information technology department. This is for the Iowa City Hospital. Over the next decade, he would earn $700,000 in that role as a legit...
Just guy working in the IT department while the actual Woods is homeless. He is homeless. Kierens, he uses his Woods name, social security date of birth. He got eight vehicle and personal loans from two different credit unions. And then he just realized, showed up one day that he, so now the real Woods gets this notice that he's $130K in debt. Yeah. He then goes like, well, this isn't me.
He's like, here's my social security card. Here's my California ID card. And essentially they're like, well, this other guy was already you first. So that guy's you. Well, and he went to the bank and then he presented all this and he's like, listen, this ain't me. And then the bank called up Kieran's and then asked him the security questions. Yes. And then of course he answered them right. Because he knew he created all the security questions. And they fucking put Woods in jail.
jail. Yeah, dude. For being himself. And so 428 days. Yes. He went into prison. The dude fucking like, this is crazy. As long as you have no conscience, there's so many things that you can get away with because he did it first. He got Woods detained in a publicly funded California mental hospital because he said, this guy's harassing me. I'm obviously Billy Woods. This guy is faking it. Blah, blah, blah. And then finally, finally,
This guy's in jail. Someone finally listens to this guy. He gets out. He's back to being homeless again. LAPD failed. Who comes in? Iowa. But Iowa had to go. So this guy. Private investigator. A private investigator gets involved. Eventually somebody's like, we got to look into this. And this private investigator tests the original Woods' DNA against his father's DNA. And they got the actual evidence of this is this man. Yeah.
It is wild. Also, Kieran's fucked up because he used a different middle name a couple times for some reason. But if you start all of the accounts, it is so difficult for all of that to get unwrapped. Because after Woods, the original Woods got out of jail for being himself 15 months or so. He was told...
Your name is now Matthew Kierens. You are this guy. You are not you. And it was for a while, and it finally all got unpacked. And so now he's in jail. They got the right guy in jail. Matthew Kierens is in jail.
he has to pay everybody all the fucking money that he has to. But he doesn't have it. He's a fucking crook. And that's the key to being a crook of how in the very end, how you get away altogether is by then claiming like you don't have the money. Like a certain president we used to have where you just go and you say you don't have this money and then you're like, can you squeeze blood from a stone, sir? You have to like do that shit.
Man, I feel so bad for the real Woods, man. That's crazy. I hope someone takes care of him. But it's nice is that when the detective cornered Kierens, the first thing that Kierens said, the guy who stole the identity was, my life is over. Everything is gone. Yeah, no, no. He had nothing. He knew he was fucking done. Yeah, man. He's a piece of shit. Man, he, I will say, that's a wide neck. He's a big man with a big head. And somehow that neck...
It's wider than his head. I think that. He looks like he could swallow his own head. He has, to be frank, he looks like it's a thin head. Yeah. He has a very thin head. He is a thumb-based person. Yeah. That is a thumb man, and he's going to do well in jail. Oh, yeah. I think he's going to do very, very well in jail. Yeah. He'll go in under the name Adolf Hitler. Sure. Fly from your grave.
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Let's go places. BTW, FYI, tap the banner ASAP to learn about Nexplanon. Add to the gestural implant 68 milligrams radiopaque or ask your HCP IRL. Visit Nexplanon.com RN. K-T-T-Y-L. All right, do we have what's next? What's next? We have a lot of stuff. There is a lot of stuff. We got the vaginal weightlifter. Well, the thing about the vaginal weightlifters...
Jesus Christ. Please, not when you're talking about the vaginal weightlifting. Why? God damn it. A bunch of stuff came up. Yeah. Now, there's a story. It's an old story.
Unfortunately, this got sent. Not that old. Two years. It's more just discovering the concept of vaginal weightlifting. I didn't know anything about this until today. I had seen it on the internet, but I did not know. Like, I had heard of vaginal weightlifting, but I did not really know, like, what it entailed. And this is a story that came from two years ago. Yeah. So, like, is it, like, does she have, like, two, like...
Do you see the picture? Like clips on her... Do you not see the picture? I see the picture, but I'm trying to figure... So the way to describe it is that... Is it her lips? Well, you're looking at here. Or is there like a rod in her and she's squeezing it with her muscles? We're going to put this in social media. Can you please... If you see here, you notice how she has an item hanging out of her... Oh, the walk of fame. She has an item hanging out of her choo-chee like she is a grandfather clock, right? Yeah. What she is doing right there... It's like swinging from a rope. What that is is a yoni egg, which is what Gwyneth Paltrow uses...
It is clenched inside of her vaginal muscles. So this isn't like, see, I was picturing like jumper cables hooked up to her lips and then she was just like stretching them out with a bowling ball. I know.
No, no, no, no. What they do is they grip it. You see, she grips it with her vagina muscles. And so this was a story where this came from. A woman by the name of Kimberly Horlach, I believe that's how you pronounce it, that she was 50. She runs 50. She runs intimacy retreats.
And she can lift with her privates. She attacked a census worker. This woman came in. She was a six-year-old woman. And she attacked her. Here's a photo of the... You know what? I covered... This is where I recognize this woman. I showed this video on the stream once. This is a video of her carrying her own surfboard with her pussy to the beach. You have this other one where she's carrying a bunch of lemons. Good for her. But what we have...
more so, then I got into, it's a lot easier than a surfboard. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. One's a warmup. So I got, I started looking and so I was like, I saw that the story was old and I was like, well, you know, this is not the same. But then all of a sudden I found that and I looked up vaginal weightlifting and then that took me to a term called vaginal Kung Fu. Oh. Which has come up quite a bit. Now I've noticed that it's, it is good. Apparently it's got nothing to do with
It's got all to do with lifting things with your vagina. Kung fu. Yes. But I am also really afraid of how strong these vaginas are.
And will it hurt the penis? Yeah, I don't need a vagina that can lift a surfboard. This is a diagram. You see how it has a little weight with the line going all the way up inside of her vagina. What she does is that she shoves the anchor point all the way up into the top, and then the weight dangles from the rope as it goes all the way out. Now, this is a piece of- And why does it fall out of her? Because she's gripping. So her vaginal wall muscles are very strong. Yeah, buddy. Yeah.
According to this, I'm here to infuse more passion into your life in bed. This woman's horny as all get out. The woman that runs this. A woman runs a found. You have to be to figure out you can do this. I found another woman that runs. Some dude dangling from the bottom of her. Let me out. Let me out. She's like, we're going to the police. It's intense. But I found another vaginal Kung Fu master by the name of Kim Anami. Okay. And she, yeah, super, yeah. You could tell I spent nearly a decade living off grid.
From pirate boats off the coast of Vancouver to the wet, sultry jungles of Indonesia. It was there, caressed by the warm air, like an omnipresent lover, that I shed my pseudo-self and came into my life purpose. I gave myself a new name, Anami. Sanskrit for the unnameable one, the highest plane of God. In endlessness, I found my identity. It also symbolizes to me the idea that there's always another level to go to. Wow. And she puts weights in her vagina.
As you can see, she's holding that five-pound weight with her vagina. And it's that incredible. But she also wrote a musical. So this is a clip of the musical that Kim and Ami wrote that is a celebration of all the powers of your vagina. And I think it's important because... Is Women's Month over? Yeah. That's sad. Yeah. I'm angry about that. I think it should be Women's Year. You're welcome. Well, she was...
She assaulted this woman on the coming parade, whatever that means. I think it's something Australian. Let's take a look at this song. A bunch of ladies laying in the grass, touching each other's breasts. Orgasmatopia. Doesn't it sound like it, the way Eddie says it? Orgasm hits her like a train off a track. Oh, she's a breathe singer. Mm-hmm.
Ooh. Whenever I see a papaya, I'm just like, let me screw it. Don't fuck a fruit. See the... Oh, there's the egg. That's the egg. I think it's a parody. There's a rock. There's a rock. This is not a parody, buddy. Kimonami. This is Florence and the Machine.
She's par- I think she is- She is re-written the lep- the- So she's like a weird owl! That's what it is! It is the dawn days are over, she's covering Florence and the Machine! Yeah. Oh my god. Wow. So you were right, it does- that's how little we know about Florence. Florence- Florence and the fucking Machine. The numb days are over. It's cause-
I'm certain that it works. I actually don't know. I'd love to know. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. I've seen the jade egg. I don't want a king shame. No, this is not king. This is vaginal strength, friend. Is this a good thing? One of these women is going to be a judge on a circuit court because she's looking at her vagina in the mirror. I think it's nice. It's a prison move. I don't look at my butthole in the mirror, but that's just because I'm saving myself.
But we can stop this now. We can stop this madness. But sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Do you lift weights with your vagina? I'd love to know. And I'd also love to know if you've used the yoni egg, what is it like? Yeah. Is that hurt? I heard that she tied the 60-year-old woman to her yoni egg and dragged her down the street like a fucking rag doll. That would be incredible. See, that's... Just film it. Film it. Show the rest of us.
All right. I think we're at listener letters time. We're at listener letters time, but we have some more stories I feel like that we should save for next week. We have a lot of stuff. There's some good shit in here we didn't get to. Oh, yes. There's quite a bit of stuff. We have the...
The drug made out of ground up human corpses. Yeah. We've got that. The judge's wife who shot the nephew. For staying too long, which is incredible. It's a great story because, again, their guests are horrible. Yeah. I hate having, even though I like that I can, I hate every second of it. I love saying you can stay at my house. I absolutely, utterly hate the reality of it. Yeah. Yeah.
So I could see where the woman's coming from by shooting a guy. Yeah. Also, yeah, if you're staying at someone's house, you got to pick up your shit. You know, you got to bring groceries. You got to do some stuff. Bring a gift. People just show up and like expect to be waited on hand and foot. Bring something to the house. Absolutely. Yeah. And pick up your trash.
Yes. I remember one time I had someone stay over at my house and I watched them blow their nose and threw the tissue on the counter. Infuriating. Lose my mind. Infuriating. All right. Well, let's get some emails. I am a 9-11 dispatcher. I am a 9-1-1 dispatcher for a county in New Jersey. It's a difference. It is. And I have a vulture story.
About a year ago, we started getting 911 calls from motorists passing by a house in one of the towns we dispatched for. The callers were reporting hundreds of vultures on the property, all over the house, yard, and circling above. People were asking for the police to do welfare checks because someone had to be dead in the house or somewhere on the property. After numerous responses, an officer finally told us there's no problem at the house. The man that lives there just likes the company of vultures more than people.
So he goes out to collect roadkill and brings it back home to his flock of vultures. We now have a note for the address. He's a provider. We do. He's a chef. We now have a note for the address to not send police for reports of vultures anymore. So they are nature's garbage collectors, and they are everywhere in apparently better company than humans. Wow. So hide bodies at this guy's house. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Can you imagine loving vultures? Because they'll reek of carry-on as well. They're ugly to look at. Yes. But if you're buddies with them, you know, I'm friends with ugly people. Hey, most of my friends are gross. Yeah. Now, we also got great responses about the brown note, the brown sound. Oh, are you going to skip that you don't know shit about juice? I'm going to save that for the stream. I'm going to save it for the stream. Okay.
There is boiling in juice. No, there isn't. There is? No, there isn't. It's in there. There is heating to 195 degrees, which is not a boiling point. I'm saving for the stream. Okay? That's where choose conversations are. Choose conversations aren't here. They're on the stream. I got a lot of separate notes about the brown note. About the idea of a frequency weapon that can be used to make you shit your pants.
And I got it's all of the response to God. We're all over the place. Like one is like saying the brown note definitely doesn't exist. And some people are saying it might've been debunked. There's some people saying that more so is that this type of directional energy weapon, that's like a sound based weapon would actually be difficult to direct. That would be, it would have to be done very short in a, in a short span, like a very close area. You would almost have to like,
resign yourself to being a victim of it a little bit in order to use it but the biggest response i got back was the concept of what if our soldiers don't particularly care if they shit their pants we had this guy basically said when it comes to uh large full-scale warfare this is from a uh one of our one of our boys overseas right there's apparently a lot of shit and the military uh
Yeah. It's an army's worth of shit. Yes. I know that there are diapers, because I did bring up the idea about tactical diapers last week as well. There are diapers, but they're not for pooping in. It's to save your dick and balls from IEDs. So they do wear them sometimes. It's more of a chastity belt. Yeah. They wear that when they're on the patrol, when they're trying to go look for IEDs. So they don't have to sit on their helmets anymore. Yes. Yes. So they basically have new armored underwear, and it's apparently extremely uncomfortable. I'd still wear it.
So here it goes. So I get... Yes, it helps. So with...
The American spirit of the modern day infantrymen would render a brown note weapon system completely useless. The following is good news that should inspire rather than concern. I can tell you right up front, no research, no studies, just pure exposure to boots in the ground infantrymen. They don't care if they shit their pants. A huge percentage of them have already shit their whole ass at the bar, home, strip clubs, restaurants, or even in training. Poop
Hoop humor is a massive part of army culture and a successful BNWS attack on troops would only solidify camaraderie and boost morale. Infantry soldiers are often young, polite, maybe even meek or physically uninspiring, but similar to a colony of ants, they become one large organism of sheer intensity and blind operation already fueled by monster energy drinks, a mental spank bank of dancing TikTok girls, fear of getting in trouble by superiors and the
constant pursuit of battlefield glory a coordinated bnws attack would only light a fuse of inspiration that would detonate a bomb of self-defecated organized and weaponized horde of young men who simply don't give a fuck our enemies know this i would say fewer as resilient in a pair of poop pants than the american infantrymen and for this reason and many more americans can peacefully
sleep at night knowing that young men and women, diaperless, are selflessly prepared to answer nature's call and the call of duty. Man, that guy is well written. I love this letter. Yeah, yeah. My country, tears for me. I know football players piss themselves all the time. Yeah, but that's for fun. Yeah, but in the game. Because you can't really go to the bathroom. Yeah, you just gotta piss. And if you gotta go, you gotta go. I've heard that. Yeah.
So, let's do it. That's also what my grandfather said right before he died. Let's rock, baby. If you gotta go, you gotta go. And I guess this is the... Oh, I got big news for you! What? Your girl's getting a divorce!
My wife? Yes. No! She told you first! Yes, the papers are here again. Oh, fuck! I told you you shouldn't be serving these! Gypsy Rose Blanchard filed for divorce from husband Ryan Anderson three months after prison release.
You know, I think the pressure was a lot for her. I think she might have been groomed by a man outside of jail for sexual Congress outside of jail. Maybe it's because he dyed his hair. I think the bleach blonde hair is not a good look.
He looks like Andrew Poonanen. Yeah, TMZ coming in last minute, man, with this. Gypsy Rose Blanchard is making the split from her husband, Ryan Anderson, official as she just filed for divorce. Yeah, she says that it was a lot. I think it was a lot for her all at once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was a lot for her. Hopefully she, I mean, or she's anti-fat.
Because he has a big husband. She's out of prison. She's got some fame. She's like, I got to ditch the fatty. She's already trading up, dude. I think she's getting too big for her britches. He's lucky she didn't kill him. Yes. We'll see. You know who needs to get in there? Who? A fun old school guy like Simon Rex. Simon Rex? Brian Austin Green. Yeah. She needs a taste of a zennial. Okay. You know what I mean?
Simon Rex got the Red Rocket. Yeah. And ex-fiance got matching tattoos following separation with husband. Oh, she went back to the ex? She went back to the guy that killed her mother? A different ex that she met while she was in prison. God bless her. Wow, she's busy. Ken Urker. Awful. Awful name. Bad name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know...
They met up in New Orleans for dinner. Tattoos and sightseeing. I think that she just needs some time away from this. I hope that she takes some time away from this. Dude, this fucking poor fat man. He went out, his whole family was just like, do not marry this woman. I legitimately- And he's like, I am in love with her. I know for a fact that next week we're going to get a message about how he's a fucking psychopath. I think that he's not a nice guy. I mean, there's no way he's normal. And this guy's old. The new guy's old.
So this guy's also a manipulator. I think that she just needs to be go away. He looks like Joe Gatto from the Impractical Jokers. Who, the new guy? The new guy, yes. This is not good. It's not good. I just wish you should take some time, walk away from the spotlight. It's a lot.
Yeah, Ryan got super argumentative with her, apparently, as well. She's divorcing him. Yeah, I think that it's different when you're wooing a... I'm not going to say... Also, marriage is hard, Gypsy Rose. Marriage is hard. Sometimes you've got to work through it. Sometimes you've got to argue. Don't argue like crazy. You already killed your mother. Okay. So you can't get out of every argument that way by killing everybody. All right, so we'll figure out how this goes.
I think that she's got a, she's cruising for bruises. So live every day. Oh God, you can't marry the first guy you meet when you're out of jail. I think that you got to live every day. They got married while she was in jail. I know. I think that you should live every day knowing that, you know, there's plenty of fish in the sea, especially once you're out of the fishbowl and back in the water.
You know, and you gotta love the fact that you get all different types of fish and it's not just the fish you're used to. You know, it's not just the fish you just were talking to behind a bunch of plate glass. It's a bunch of new free fish, bunch of new fun, successful eyes on the open road fish that are going to maybe help you. You know what I mean? And then you can laugh at that fish and
As long as that fish has got money, help you later on in life. You know, and help you kind of get used to a normal life outside of prison because you are probably kind of messed up from that process. Oh, it kind of looks like they're just plugging the Lifetime show. Yeah, yeah. I think that she's still doing it. Yeah, even Ryan was like, you know, you can see, I don't want to talk about it, but you can see it all on the Lifetime show. Yeah, he literally did. It was all for the show, yeah. Yeah. So she might, I think she needs a break.
And I hope that she gets her break. I don't think she's going to, considering she's on a Lifetime show. Yes. About this. It was all for entertainment. Yes, very much so. I think the divorce was written. It might have been. Yes, it seems that she is doing a form of social media acting out. But that is her liberty. Absolutely. As a free American. She's allowed to make a spectacle of herself. That's the American dream. Do you still love her?
I was never attracted to her. Say you're attracted to her. You can love someone you're not attracted to. I'm not talking about sex love. I'm talking about love love. I've never been a fan. I love you. I'm not attracted to you. Thank God.
I've never been a fan of her. Oh, I thought you were. You talk about her so much. Natalia Grace. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm a fan of Natalia Grace. Technically, yeah. I would say I'm a Grace head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd hang out with Natalia Grace. For sure. We'd hang out. Smoke some fucking, rip some butts. I'd smoke cigarettes again and hang out with Natalia Grace. That's a goal. Right? Get a fresh pack of Camelites. Natalia Grace. Big gulp.
hanging out, eating some nachos. The problem is she gets caught with those cigarettes. She's going to have to finish the whole pack. Hey, I think she'd like it. She's a smoker. I think she's a smoker. Well, go check out patreon.com slash last podcast on the left if you want to watch us talk. And you go to twitch.tv slash LPN TV to watch all our things on Twitch. We have other things coming up soon.
Side Story's live. Side Story's live. May 9th at the Masonic. Part of the Netflix is a joke festival. Come check us out. 9.45 p.m. Yes. We are going to figure out new stuff for the road. Yes. It's going to be fun. Hang out with us. We're going to have a good time. We're going to fucking try some new shit. We're going to have a friend stop by. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm super pumped for that. I can't wait. I can't fucking wait.
Truly, what a beautiful space, too. I mean, the Masonic. So much fun. Yeah. And just go get high in the graveyard right before the show, which is one of my favorites. It's one of the best. Go see Joey Ramone. Blow smoke in his face, man. Leave a cigarette for Judy Garland. These are things you can do before you come to our show. But then probably as the birds come and they start smoking. The peacocks? Yeah, birds get fucking cancer and it's sad.
I don't want to give a bird cancer. And go to lastpodcastandleft.com for all of the rest of our live show tickets. Go check us out on JK Ultra, our new tour. We are going to various cities in North America and Australia. And London. And London. And Reykjavik. Two shows in London, one in Reykjavik. So why don't you get out there and get them tickets, okay?
And again, I'm not accepting any more corrections until you send me the correction with the ticket confirmation number in the email. You can correct me on any piece of information. Pronunciation. But you have to send me a picture of the ticket you have purchased. And then I will respond. You're just doing this so you can be wrong more.
Yeah. And sell tickets. This is great. This is actually a great marketing ploy. Yeah. Because I'm wrong a lot. Hell yeah. Suck it, you fucks. Hail Satan. Misinformation's awesome. Hail, uh, who's good today? No one. No one. No one was good today. Hail the Greg Locke's meth dealer. What about me? Yeah, Greg, he's busy. And think about all the times they had to sit and listen to this fucking guy. It's the only time when the dealer's not the annoying one. You know?
Bye for now. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.
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