Episode 565: Anders Breivik Part III - 22 July
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Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you! Oh!

Oh, yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb... Stinky, no good, doo-doo factory... Boo! ...caw-caw-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with The Brighter Side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? You know, I feel like Anders Breivik could have learned a lot from reading Dune. Uh,

I was yelling to Marcus about Dune before this because there are inherent things that Marcus does yet fully understand about Dune. Like he's a normal human. Because I was telling him, like, I even tried the audio book listening to Dune. It's just I just can't stand Frank Herbert's writing style at all in any form. You're turning people off to the show in droves, and that's fine. You can alienate people. This is a subjective show. But, you know, it's important for Anders.

Breivik and Shannon, because this is what I explained to you before, is that they were talking about the idea of being afraid of a white savior complex inside of Doom, right? The idea, but the whole book series is about how a white savior just fucks everything up. Like when they show up, any savior, anybody who says that they're the number one that can fix absolutely everything is lying to you, or they have to turn to a despot to do the whole thing, which is my big plan. But honestly, if Anders Breivik understood more things about

he'd understand his one man war against liberalism wasn't going to fucking work because what you need, honestly, is the actual Knights Templar, which is the one thing he didn't have. He claimed he did. Exactly.

But he didn't. Well, I guess Dune is the salve for all the world's problems. Come on, guys. Get into it. His name is Frank. You don't want to live in Dune, though. It's awful. No, the Fremen have figured out how to live on Arrakis. Yeah, and figured out how. It's fucking awful. Yeah, plenty of people have figured out how to live in the Sahara, but you don't want to live there. They had to hide from the Harkonnens. All right, fuck this, and welcome to the last podcast on the left.

We're not getting into Dune and the Harkonnens right now. You know the national anthem of Araxis? Oya komova. You fucked up. Yes.

It's Araxis, and that is Abraxis. That's the Santana album. You're correct. It is a bridge to Park. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Dune Master Henry Zebrowski. Yeah, I'm the Dune Master. And Poon Master Ed Larson. Whoa, hey now, hey. Let's ask Julie. Is he the Poon Master? And we're here for the conclusion of our series on Anders Brevik. And that's where the joking stops. Ha ha ha!

Because today's episode is the real serious shit, but we're going to, we got some breaks in there. Yeah. Today's episode is brought to you by therapy. Actually, unfortunately, the episode was brought to you by not going to therapy. Yeah. Because if he had went to therapy, we would be talking about Swedish fish. You know what I mean? What are we talking about? World's scariest meals. Yeah.

So when we last left Anders Breivik, the date was July 21st, 2011, and he just parked a van containing a homemade bomb in a garden center in Oslo in preparation for his day of terror. Now, after parking the bomb, Anders Breivik

Anders headed to his mother's duplex to sleep, so he'd already be in Oslo when it came time to kick off the plan. Do you think he showed up with like a corncob pipe and a straw hat being like, your mom just came from the farm enjoying my life.

Like he's the guy from the Columbia beans. So at 1230 the next afternoon, Brevik sat in the fart room and sent out an email to the 8000 addresses he'd farmed from Facebook. This email contained his quote unquote film, a list of right wing websites and his 1500 page manifesto.

Problem was, such a massive send got stalled after it was sent to a thousand addresses because the spam filters marked Bravik's manifesto as garbage. Nailed it! And therefore, most of the people who were supposed to get the email never got it. You know, and on point of reflection, it's not a very good manifesto. Yeah? How far did you get? I read a couple hundred pages. A couple hundred pages? Yeah. Good for you. That's not bad. No, it's bad. It was bad.

Undeterred, Breivik left his computer going just in case the other 7000 emails broke through and left his browser on a website that showed the day's program for a summer camp on nearby Utøya Island, which was attended by the youth wing of the National Labor Party of Norway, known as the AUF.

Now, the reasons why Anders Breivik chose Utøya Island were simple. The AUF was actually a pipeline for Labour Party leadership in Norway. So Breivik believed that he was exterminating the party leaders of tomorrow. It's the old nits make lice justification people use to kill or horrifically mistreat children. The Nazis used it all the time.

Otoya Island was also a fair distance from Oslo. It was only reachable by boat or ferry, there were only a few places to hide, and it had a large concentration of people on a relatively small landmass, 564 people on just 26 acres.

But while there was a fair amount of older staff and visitors, the vast majority of the people on the island were young adults and teenagers between the ages of 14 and 23. Yes, the true Marxist soldiers of the future. It's really, obviously, it's very sad. But he also just knew that this would be an easy place. Yeah, there wasn't going to be anybody that was going to give him any resistance. No.

So after Breivik sent out the email containing his manifesto and his quote-unquote film, he returned to the garden center where he'd parked the bomb and changed into an outfit that made him appear as if he was a police officer.

After Breivik put on his cop costume, he drove the van to a tower block that housed both the Ministry of Justice and the prime minister's office. And this building was not blocked by any barricades whatsoever. This entire crime is predicated on the fact that Norway has never experienced anything like this before since the Vikings. Well, I would say since the Nazis. Since the Nazis. And so they...

They were just kind of open for it. Yeah, they really were. He then backed his 2,000-pound bomb into an area where the impact of the blast would explode towards the building, maximizing impact.

Now, ostensibly, no parking was supposed to be allowed in this particular area, but no one cared that Anders parked there because delivery vehicles parked in the spot all the time. This was supposed to be for the sole purpose of picking up and dropping off the prime minister of Norway. Yeah. And that's basically like a guy from Domino's just be hanging out there being like, how did I get here? Did you order this on the app? Mike,

God, this is what a trip. The salted herring is incredible. Are you the prime minister? Here's your crazy bread. I mean, in essence, this is the equivalent of a terrorist parking a bomb in front of 10 Downing Street in London, then walking away while the security guards shrug and said, I'm sure it's fine. No problems here. And so after parking, Breivik lit the fuse, which gave him six minutes to flee the scene.

He then pulled his pistol out of his holster and walked away while wearing a helmet and body armor, ready to murder anyone who tried to stop him. But since Anders was dressed as a cop, absolutely no one paid him any mind, almost as if he was just a part of the scenery.

See, in Norway, most citizens have an extraordinarily high degree of trust in their police force. Yeah, because they're trained to help. Yeah. I mean, the police force is structured specifically to foster trust and cooperation. Yeah. They don't go out killing people. Yeah.

Now, that's the number one thing they don't do. Yeah. Yeah. A 2021 poll showed that 82% of Norwegians had the utmost trust in police. This is vastly at odds with the way policing is structured here in America, where the culture is more of an antagonistic us versus them mentality, where we're scared of the cops and the cops are scared of us. Well, definitely has gotten to that in 2024. The idea might have started the idea that they are protecting...

There was a difference between the police and the military for a long time. I know you some of our younger listeners may not remember that, but there used to be like a separation of that. And they used to supposed to kind of help at a more local level. And then, you know, like, honestly, even my father would talk about how being a cop was supposed to be about you're supposed to help the neighborhood that you work in, because ostensibly that's the neighborhood you live in. And it's changed once they got the tanks.

Yeah. Which I understand once I get a tank, a lot of shit's going to be different. We have so many extra tanks. What are we going to do? Give them to Israel? Yeah.

You know what you do? Again, I've been saying this for a long time. Every community should have one tank and that the police can have a tank if every neighborhood can also have a neighborhood tank. And then you can go and you can subscribe. You put on a list. Right. And then that's your weekend with the tank. Oh, you can check out the tank like it's a lending library. Yes. And it's for specific things. You have a problem with the DMV.

If you find out that the fucking caribou coffee has run out of your favorite mocha syrup. Son of a bitch.

Equality. The NYPD has two submarines. Seriously? Wow. That's incredible. Good for them. They have two submarines. Wow. Cool. And 30 something thousand people work for the NYPD, which is as many soldiers as all of Australia. Well, they should have went to Norway. This is the one time our police system was fucking correct.

Well, but that's all to say that when Anders Breivik strolled through the streets with his gun unholstered, there was only one guy who made note of the fact that this supposed cop climbed into his van and started driving against the flow of traffic. Now, I'm just speculating here, but this blatant disregard for safety, it might be exactly why this guy thought something was up, because it seems out of character for a Norwegian cop.

But either way, just as Anders Breivik escaped the scene at around 3.25 p.m., his 2,000-pound bomb exploded with incredible force. Instantly, a man walking near the van was so thoroughly destroyed that the only intact part of his body was his left hand, which was identified only by his wedding ring.

Two young women were likewise engulfed in flames and thrown to the ground, killed instantly. The resulting scene resembled a war zone, with people unaccustomed to terrorism listlessly wandering through the broken glass and rubble. In all, eight people were killed by Breivik's bomb, and a further 200 were injured. However, it could have been far worse. Some

Since Brevik set off his bomb in June, many of the people who would normally fill downtown Oslo were on vacation, which tells you that this bomb was by no means the main event. Rather, this was a tactic that Brevik had written about in his manifesto, make a loud noise in the east and attack in the west. But even so, had Brevik stuck to his original plan to build a 4,000-pound bomb, he could have quite possibly brought down the building where he parked.

And that would have killed the Norwegian prime minister. You know, and we know that this is the first part of his plan. We didn't go through all of the details of him building the bombs for the months that he was on his farm. It's quite tedious. It's very, very, truly the reason why is because it was tedious. But it also shows it's his own lack of

I'm not going to say drive because he did have this plan. And, but it was, it was too difficult for him to put together all of the materials. Like he was going and going. And then he realized he's just giving himself cancer that we're all still waiting for. Um,

Hopefully that pops up soon. Let's hope so. Yeah. Do you think a 4,000 pound bomb would have fit in the van? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, isn't that the size? What was the OKC? I think that was 6,000. It's like we, but he had help. It was either for, it was either 4,000 or 6,000. Yeah. And Jimmy McVeigh had a system of people helping him, but that fit in a van. Yeah. Yeah.

Ravik obviously was inspired by that, right? Yeah. He definitely looked at McVeigh as an example of a fertilizer bomb. Well, yeah, that's what he put it. He was like, it was possible to make this much damage with just a fertilizer bomb. Yeah. And they also had the same favorite quote about the blood of, you know, blood of tyrants, the tree of liberty bullshit and fuck off. Yes.

Now, the witness who noted Brevik's odd behavior called emergency services and gave them the make, model, color, and license plate of the van driven by a man dressed as a police officer who was behaving strangely just before the blast. They had him. Yes, they had him dead to rights. They had every bit of information they could have needed to catch him immediately.

But the literally fatal flaw here was that Oslo police had no shared alert procedures simply because it had never occurred to them to put such procedures in place. Do you have any idea how hard it is to put a siren on a sled? It's extremely difficult. And if you're skiing with a siren on your hat, like, yeah, it's fun and games and everyone loves to see a guy doing it, but it's very difficult to do.

balance, especially if you don't do it all the time. Yeah, there was actually a reindeer that knew it was true but no one could understand. Yeah, because you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Santa Claus? Therefore, any time an order or a piece of information needed to be shared, everyone had to be called one by one, making timely coordination impossible. That meant that there were no roadblocks leading out of Oslo and no immediate search for the van that was being driven by a possible suspect. Instead, Oslo's

all available manpower focused on the rescue operation downtown. And that included their version of a SWAT team, Norway's Delta Force. Why do I feel like they're like the band or like the emblem for the Norwegian Delta Force is just like a seagull with a bunch of like licorice in its throat? Black.

Black licorice, too. The Scandinavians love that black licorice. They love that. A lot of bitter candy. Maybe it's because the weather's bad. Now that's Delta Force's first album. Bitter candy. Do the candy dance. Do the candy dance. I think we're supposed to be doing something right now.

Have you ever eaten lacquer roll? Their candy? Yeah. Fucking cigarettes. Yeah, it tastes like cigarettes. So disgusting. Additionally, Norway only had one police helicopter. To put it in a perspective, the LAPD alone has 17 helicopters, which is actually less than I expected. I thought so, too. I thought it was going to be like 30 or 40.

They're just all flying it all the time. But also, you're not just... That's just the LAPD. Yeah. You have, like, you know... I wonder if... All around SoCal, I think there's a lot of helicopters. Yeah, Beverly Hills might have their own helicopters because they're their own police force. Most likely. Burbank's their own city. Probably got its own helicopters, too. Yeah. Good for them. Yeah.

Again, my dream. All I want to be is India from Civ. You just want to be a paramilitary guy. You just want to be like a full... But a good guy. Like a nice guy. Oh, here we go. When they find out that you...

Yeah, as soon as you got to say I'm a nice guy, I'm a good guy. That means you're a piece of shit. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's like the way we did on Tideservice this week about how you always know if somebody's reasonable if they're screaming it. But really, the number of helicopters in Norway was irrelevant because the helicopter crew, it was June. They were on vacation.

And they had no backups. They take vacation very seriously in Scandinavia. All Europe. All we got to do is meet in the middle here. That's like all I'm asking for. The Americans, us working ourselves to death, constantly making a part of our culture to work yourself to death and being gone for four months. I mean, there's got to be a happy meeting. There has to be somewhere in the middle. They go on paternity leave if their cousin has a kid. Yeah, they're like, I'm...

I've got to go and see if my other cousin's pussy is still intact. There's a middle ground here. Well, much of the response that seemed at least at first was,

relaxed, for lack of a better word. I would say there was a lack of urgency to it. Well, it seems like they were showing up to help people get better or get out and not like concentrating on the who did this part. Yes, that was exactly what they were focused on. Like, let's just, we got to help these people and that's all we're focused on. We'll worry about catching this guy later because it didn't really occur to them that that guy, whoever was responsible for it, it didn't occur to them that that guy might be doing other shit. And also at first, they kind of assumed like,

this seems like an al-Qaeda type thing. So it's probably, it was probably a suicide bomber. They were saying this at the time too, there was a lot of like spear rattling, what's the term? Saber rattling. Yeah, from Gaddafi. And Gaddafi was saying that he was going to bring terrorism to Scandinavia. So there was a little bit of that thing and it's the Libyans! And the thing is that the helicopter pilot did show up. He's like, yeah, I'm on vacation, but

It sounds like you need me. All right. You know, like, you know, stops having sex with his four wives. I don't know what it's like in Norway. It sounds nice. Yeah. But he was told he wasn't needed. And also police didn't notify the military or arrange for military helicopters, even though the prime minister himself was nearly killed.

No nationwide alert was issued and none of the information about the bombing was sent to the media. But most importantly, even when CCTV footage spotted Anders Breivik, no one was told that the suspect was dressed as a cop. Had this information been made public, someone may have taken notice when Anders Breivik hopped up on Red Bull, showed up at the ferry heading to Otoya Island. In his possession was a rifle, a

a pistol, and a pelican case containing thousands of rounds of ammunition and various other implements of destruction. Yeah, I found out that he called the pistol Molnir. Yeah. And he called the rifle Mjolnir. Mjolnir. Mjolnir. And then the rifle was called like another, it was like Odin Spear, which just sounds like a Swedish brand of condom.

I forget what it's called. Some dumb Norse shit. But he also was like, it wasn't just Red Bull. He was, I guess it was all the epinephrine or whatever that, that, uh, the stuff that you use to take out the stuff that they took out of medicine, the good stuff. Yeah. He was on, he was taking that solidly cause that was, and then he was all up on his steroids and shit. So he was like, Oh, right. It up and ready to go. And, and he was kind of expecting a lot more conflict. He was.

Now, within about an hour and a half, the kids and counselors on Utoya Island were getting reports of what happened in Oslo. So the news was spreading quickly. Ironically, though, as I said, the first report suggested that the terrorist bombing might have been perpetrated by Al-Qaeda. This worked in Breivik's favor. When he approached the ferry to Utoya in an unmarked van holding a rifle, which...

suspicious yeah in us in our world we now are we're also hyper paranoid yeah we're extremely but if there's an attack and like a cop shows up with a gun what do you think that's the thing of course a security guard approached him and asked him hey what are you doing here and with a casual dismissal anders told the young guard that he was there because officers were being posted in various locations around the country because of the bombing you know and it also like unmarked cars like oh well

Good thing they're here in a hurry. Yeah, he just got here. He must have been just got done delivering his fish. Yeah. After that, the only request put towards Anders was to cover his rifle so the kids wouldn't get scared once he arrived on the island. Oh, yeah. And then the term Anders, it's always the annoyed. It's the oh. Yep. Went back to his van, found a plastic bag, which only really covered half the rifle. Is he good enough? Is he good for you? Yeah. All right. Get on.

This was deemed good enough, and the ferry, the MS Thornbjorn, pushed off soon after. All of the baggage had been checked except for Brevik's case, because it simply didn't occur to anyone to even question whether or not he was a cop, much less search his shit. And this ferry captain would be haunted for the rest of his life for doing this. He didn't know, and he felt... Because I guess he did try to run a loose, like a rescue operation after to help, but by then it was already too late.

Now, once the ferry arrived at Utoya Island, 600 yards from the mainland, the security guard at the dock was immediately suspicious of Brevik, who by this point was getting a little twitchy.

Almost immediately, Brevik nearly blew his cover, giving fumbling answers about his supposed assignment. Yeah, he's not going to be on whose line anytime soon. He's one of those guys. Some comedians can't improv. Everything has to be written. He left it all on the table with his manifesto. And even that was bad. So he's no George Carlin. Nope.

But pretty soon, Brevik convinced the security guard to help gather everyone on the island to meet at a single location, a grassy slope near the main building. And here, if you could hand out these neon shirts, that would also help. Yes, these orange shirts. If you could handle these whistles as well and have them begin to whistle. Oh, don't forget the glow stick. Yes, if you could, it's almost going to be sunset. Yeah. And I mean, this was under the guise of like, we got to brief everybody on this bombing. So let's gather.

gather everyone together in one place. But as Brevik walked behind the guard, a man named Trond Berntsen, he pulled his pistol from his holster, held it to the back of Berntsen's head, and pulled the trigger. With that, the killing spree had begun. And now we might do little bits of, just so you know,

obviously this is going to be very difficult as we go into the details of all these crimes. And I think Eddie said you also have some really important material that will help some stuff that would really like, because I know a lot of people look to us for emotional support. Yeah, I thought it'd be best that in order to cut

the pain, I would write some really hacky Norway jokes. Oh, I thought that you were going from grief counseling. I thought these were grief counseling notes. Yeah, yeah. Do you know that Norwegian cuisine is so bad that they're changing the name of it to Sizzler? I think that...

this might be almost as bad as the crime success. What? I'm killing. I thought it was fantastic. I thought it was really funny. We'll figure out. I didn't know that this didn't come from a grief counselor. It's true, but that is a fact, though. That's fine. I mean, I just thought that this was... It's written down. I thought it came from the guy from 9-11. That one guy who made people say he wasn't... Make him not sad anymore from 9-11.

Walking with Brevik and Bernson was a woman named Monica Beausé, who was only there because she was married to the captain of the MS Thornbjorn. Brevik shot her too, and after she went down, Brevik straddled his first victim and shot him twice in the head, then did the same to Monica. Once the shock wore off, the captain, who was also walking next to Brevik, ran over to the grassy hill where everyone had gathered and warned everyone to run for their lives. That's when the chaos began.

Now, one of the misconceptions about mass shootings is that the perpetrators are wild madmen reveling in the moment, laughing maniacally, something akin to natural born killers or Jake Busey in The Frighteners. Oh, interesting example. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, he's very much he was into it. He was. But no one's seen that movie. Yeah.

People have seen The Frighteners. The Frighteners is a classic. Imagine Jake Busey, who is Gary Busey with less rules. So imagine that. In reality, though, most mass shooters carry out their task with cold, calm precision, methodically working their way through groups of people while exuding a thick atmosphere of stoic inhumanity.

In all, Breivik may have been the best example of this behavior. When a young AUF member ran up to him asking for help because he was dressed as a cop, and this would happen again and again, he shot her without the slightest hesitation, then took aim at a group of kids 30 meters away. There was a very interesting GQ article from the time period that interviewed a lot of the survivors and talking about what it looked like. And one of the things that struck me about the imagery of...

Anders Breivik from a distance looking like a lone police officer. But the way they looked at it is that they also said that the vision of him was so kind of unbelievable because, yeah, he was dressed in a police officer uniform, but they also thought it was interesting that the rifle that he had was like

so absurd, right? Like it was way overpowered for what anybody would be trying to do. And they said he had this massive silencer on it and the bayonet attached to it. And then he had the pistol in the other hand, like walking like the Terminator. And there was like a moment of almost being like, who's this fucking cartoon character? Like before you're even scared, it was way more like, why is he doing this like this? Like this is not like... The absurdity of it. He showed up to...

I like, I like, I don't know. I guess it's about the shattering of an innocent afternoon. Like it's about that, but it's also, he was such a pussy that he arrived with this, like an army style, like, like he's to kill children. Yeah. Now,

I know, I think I asked this question before, but how many rounds of ammunition did he have with him? 3,000. Yeah. How do you even carry that? Huge box that you took four people to lift onto the ferry and then they lifted off the ferry and then he made a little base of operations. And so he brought it into the, he went through the main kind of cafe area and cleared it out and then he put all his stuff out. Yeah. And that's, it became his like little center, his little war room.

Well, he immediately dropped a 22-year-old member of the AUF by hitting him in the shoulder with a rifle bullet. Then he calmly walked up to him and fired again into his neck to make sure he was dead. This would be Breivik's chosen method of execution. Get him with the rifle, make sure they're dead with the pistol.

But for the victims, the most terrifying part of their ordeal was that Utoya Island didn't have many places to hide. There were few buildings, much of the island was made up of open fields of grass, and the formerly thick forest had been reduced to a few sparse trees.

As far as swimming for it went, a lot of the island was skirted by sheer cliffs. And even if they did make it to the water, they still had to swim the equivalent of six football fields. And there was always the chance that Brevik would fire at you while you were swimming away. Well, that was one of the original plans was to shoot in a circle, get everybody. That's the way he viewed it was to get him in the lake.

And then he would pick everybody off from inside the lake. So that's what he kind of thought. He'd sweep them into the water. So was it a lake? Yeah, it was a lake. It was an island in the middle of a lake. Yeah. Now, within 10 minutes, the local police station received a call from the boat captain who told them that there was a man dressed as a policeman shooting kids on Utoya Island. By this point, Brevik had already killed nine people.

While walking through the camp buildings looking for more victims, Bravic later said that he almost disassociated from the situation, imagining that he was carrying out a raid in World of Warcraft. Dissociated is a kind word. Yeah. I would say he didn't give a shit. I said almost disassociated. Yeah. Yeah.

He quickly cleared the main building, going from room to room and shooting anyone he found inside. It then occurred to him that some of the kids might have been feigning death, so he went back and shot each kid who was laying on the ground in the head to make sure he killed them. A lot of them got two bullets in the head.

What very much surprised Breivik, though, was that hardly any of the kids were fighting back or even running. Instead, they begged or simply screamed in terror. In one case, Anders brought a pistol to the face of a girl who was in mid-scream, and he fired into her open mouth, killing her instantly.

Others were shot through their hands as they tried covering their faces in some instinctual, ineffective bed for protection, while some sat frozen against the wall in the hallway of the main building while Brevik shot them one by one. When I read that witness testimony,

I think it was important because then I saw from inside their heads, like kind of why. Why they froze. Why they froze. Because they all kind of said the same thing. This doesn't happen here. Yeah. They all were, they said the beginning wave of the shots came and they were mostly driven by curiosity because they didn't understand what the sounds were. And they didn't fully, they heard people saying this and they're like, oh, this must be a prank or people are freaking out. Like no one thought that this could,

could happen to them. They're all raised to be kind, gentle human beings. Yes. I mean, there's a lot going on, but it's more like neutral. Also understanding that you can deal things with, there's diplomacy in there, and you're supposed to deal things with bureaucracy and government. That is the nice part of the left-leaning government. Rationalization. Yes. This is the definition of it can't happen here. It can't happen here. Now, do you have any statements about that? Does anything help? Do you have anything from the grief counselor to help

Uh, yeah. Um, trolls, you know, in Norway, there's lots of, you know, they're a major part of Norwegian mythology and most trolls, I don't know if you know this or not, Henry, but, uh, most of them are known to be short, stubby, unkept creatures who feast on anything from stones, uh, to children. And in America we call them Zebrowskis. Yeah.

I don't understand how this is helping. I don't know why this grief counselor thought that this would help. I didn't think that I would come into this scenario, this very serious moment, and be roasted in such a fashion. Burn the troll. And that makes me really angry. Well, your nose job looks great. I am untouched by surgery. I know a lot of people don't think so. Fly from your grave.

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Well, incredibly, Brevik's entire spree in the main building alone took less than two minutes. By the time he left, he'd killed 13 kids and critically injured many more, then moved on to shooting the tents that dotted Utoya Island's open campsite.

Meanwhile, Norway's lack of a centralized response system was making the police response painfully slow. And incredibly, even though it was well known by this time that there was a shooter on the island, the Utøya Island Ferry was not being used.

See, the ferry had returned to the mainland after dropping off Anders Breivik because the leader of the AUF, a guy named Eskel Peterson, had used it along with eight others to escape the island themselves immediately, even though there were still over 550 people trapped on the island with Breivik. This is one of those moments.

where I'm not going to speak ill. I don't know this person or this family, but this is bad. He was heavily criticized. Yes, he left everybody to die. He was in charge, and he was the guy that Breivik was technically there to kill. Yeah, he'd been one of Breivik's main targets. I mean, he was so set on killing him that Breivik had studied photos of Peterson to make sure he could recognize him once he saw him. In some kind of fucked up way,

I feel like if he had shot Peterson, he might have actually ended his spree a lot sooner because he would have gotten over. He would have gotten the thing that he came for. So this guy, he just kind of left all these children to die. Yeah, well, in his defense, he had just filled his Subway sandwich cart.

And I get that. Because that shit runs out. He decided that was his plan for the day. And guess what, man? You can't break those plans. It doesn't roll over. I thought if I could leave that to Natalie, because I have a collection of these. And they said no. The lawyer said no. The state said no. So I don't know what's going to happen when she kills me. Well, as it went, Peterson's decision to leave was...

heavily, heavily criticized, especially when witness testimony came out describing the anguish that some of the critically injured kids felt as their leader fucked off to safety while they lay on the ground bleeding to death. Could you imagine being shot in the field and the guy that you're doing a bunch of free work for? Let's just face facts, right? You're an intern. Well, this is summer camp. Yeah, but you know what I mean? But a lot of these, they're still interns or kids. And you're watching the guy that it's been telling everybody to do being like, love your hustle.

Oh, yeah. Good work in there. You're a real rock star, Bjorn. You know what I mean? And you're doing a bunch of free work with him, watching him duck and cover, run into the ferry. And they're all like, he's going. He's going to save. He's leaving. And then you just watch the ferry just pull off. Nobody. Plenty of room. Literally 200 people could have went on the ferry. Yeah. He just left. But do you think.

If they would have sat there and loaded 200 people on the ferry, don't you think Bravik would have just fucking... Not... It would have just, like...

loaded into it. You know, what's weird is that as we'll get to Anders Breivik was looking for an out like he was kind of looking for an out. He was trying to find a way for because like right before this, he did definitely contemplate committing suicide. There was a moment before he was coming from the from the bomb to Toya where he was going to he was going to do it. The thing would be a full martyr. But then he was like, oh, but the trial. Yeah, I got to get there for the trial. And so that's why he continued to move on. That

Now back on the island, an 18-year-old named Anders Christensen had found a phone. He called the Norwegian version of 911, telling them that a shooter was loose on Otoya. Fjord, fjord, fjord. Incredibly though, the operator argued with Christensen and told him that he was wrong. There wasn't a shooter on Otoya, there's a bombing in Oslo, you fucking idiot. And so the kid hung up and huddled together with a group of kids who were all quickly found by Brevik and executed.

Now, by this point, Brevik was looking at the situation with a degree of fascination. The more he killed, the more he began noticing little details of death. For example, he said that when he shot someone in the head, he heard a sort of exhalation, a breath coming from the hole he'd made. Instead of horror, all he could think was how interesting it was. All while he alternated weapons to make sure he at least had one gun loaded at all times.

Now, by 5.40 p.m., about 25 minutes after Breivik began, Norway's elite response team, Delta Force, finally left Oslo for Otoya, which, unfortunately, was about an hour's drive away. Okay, time to go. Like, God. Yeah, if they had the helicopter there, could have gotten there a lot faster. These aren't my work shoes. Yeah, like, oh, if I can't wear my casual cardigan out.

I became Canadian. Meanwhile, local police were at Utoya Island looking at it. They were ready to go, but they were told to wait until Delta Force showed up.

Problem was, Delta didn't know where Utoya Island was because their GPS was giving the wrong information. Oh my God. And it wasn't a well-known place. Not really. Not to everybody. But still, you know, like it's just all of these things. It just pains me. I know. Yeah. And the rendezvous point for a full assault.

kept changing for one reason or another. In other words, Norway was entirely unprepared for an American-style mass shooting. And the extreme panic that came as a result cost them dozens of lives and casualties, which is not necessarily something I blame them for. They just weren't ready. It's why he did it. It literally is why he did it. It's because he knew they weren't ready. And he did it because it would be easy. If he felt that... I think there was a... Obviously, there was a moment where he thought that he was just going to get shot by a bunch of cops. Like, he kind of thought that the military was going to

roll in yeah and then when they yeah like it's five stars on gta yes that's what he would he wanted that because he wanted all this attention but even after all of this mayhem people still didn't care about anders yeah yeah it's you people don't do mass shootings at police stations they pick balls yeah they pick where it's where it's vulnerable where it's easy

Well, case in point when it came to the surprising nature of the attack was when Breivik decided to give himself up at 6 p.m. This is after he murdered 40 people. He still had 29 to go.

Because he'd forgotten his cell phone in his van in downtown Oslo, Breivik made his way into the island's cafe and found a cell phone. There, he dialed the number for the local police and said, quote, Yes, good afternoon. My name is Commander Anders Bering Breivik of the Norwegian anti-communist resistance movement. Irish. You're going Irish. I'm just doing my best. I'm on Utoya at the moment. I want to give myself a...

You have the worst Norwegian accent in the world. I was doing the German, which is closest for me. That was the closest I was trying to do. And then I was trying to do subtle. And every time I tried to do the subtle Scandinavian, it goes Irish, Canadian, or back to German. So I'm just kind of sticking to what's sort of a thin accent.

You're doing Swedish chef. I'm sticking to Sven because that's what I know and that's what you guys get. That's what the Scandinavians get. I'm doing my best. You should have sucked on a bunch of licorice before you got here. No, because then I would have, again, it would have soothed my stomach and I need that fire inside in order to do the show. Amen. Now, the cell phone didn't have a SIM card, so the number didn't register on caller ID. The operator asked for Brevik's number in case they got cut off and tragically, the call did indeed drop. But,

But instead of calling back, Breivik put down the phone, walked to the water's edge where more kids were trying to escape and continued shooting. And think of the boredom inherent in this. There is a there is this level of just total like he was tired. Yeah, he was tired. He was done. Like he didn't feel like the Red Bulls worn off. Yeah, he just says, hey, I guess that's like one of the truly one of the worst aspects of this story is his anger.

I'm kind of almost wishing for an Osama bin Laden style energy. Yeah. You know, a little bit more get up and go. It's just straight. It's like apathy. It's boredom. Yeah. Sheer apathy. Yeah. Doesn't care.

Now, one of the stats that usually go unmentioned when it comes to the Otoya massacre is just how many people were actually shot but didn't die. While Breivik killed 69, he wounded a further 110, meaning that one out of every three people on Otoya caught a bullet from Anders Breivik. Many of those 110 survived much of the time, however, on sheer luck.

For example, one girl who was shot in the face crawled out of the cafe while holding her own jaw. And just by chance, a woman who knew first aid found her and saved her life. And luckily, she did so in a spot where Brevik did not return. Because concerning Brevik's path, he had enough time to circle the entire island, finding more and more kids waiting on the shore for rescue.

Then he had time to do it again, sometimes finding and shooting kids that he'd missed the first time around. So people who stayed in the middle were more likely to be saved? Yeah. There were people that were treading water in the lake. It all depended on what time. If you stayed in the middle in the beginning, then you were more likely to be killed. But if you went out to the edges and then moved to the middle, then you were more likely to survive. There was just no way to know. It was...

sheer fucking luck. And they're all pacifists. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, they also are just not, they don't understand what's happening because they are now as you begin to understand, but like, how are we all going to get together to find the guy? Also, they're children. They're all like 14 to 21 years old, essentially.

Yeah, but I think at this point, I think... Because they don't have military training and it's not one of those countries where... Do they have to go to military training? Norway has mandatory military service. But that's not... This is kind of a lot of times it's before... I mentioned this before they have to go. And like by military service in Norway, a lot of them have to be waiters. Yeah.

Again, this came from the grief counselor. Dr. Reverend Boingo. Because remember, Anders got out of his mandatory military service because he had to take care of his mom who had herpes so bad. She had to get her head flushed. She had to get her head pumped out of all the pus. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So I would imagine some of them. I cannot go. My mom is filled with sex juice. She has to be spiced.

So I would imagine some of them did have some military training, but the vast majority of the victims were under the age of 18. Yeah, they're also not prepared for this. This is not wartime. They were on a summer camp. Meanwhile, Delta Force had finally arrived

across the water and 10 heavily armed officers boarded the local police's red rubber dinghy. It's the kind that you usually see on like rafting expeditions or lifeguards, something like that. Yeah. Bad for taking Delta force over. Yeah. Cause their gears pretty heavy. They're real heavy.

And so the boat's outboard motor couldn't work effectively. It was like halfway down. And about halfway to the island, the overworked engine gave out. And pretty soon, the dinghy started taking on water. And that's the story of how Delta Force drowned. They could have. On the way to do it, the entire SWAT team drowned. They absolutely would have drowned. I just couldn't. There's no way. It's technical.

funny, but it's not. The sort of Three Stooges style running around like bailing it out like it's a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Yeah. But it's not. But the whole time they're hearing pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop coming from the island. And they're all just panicking. Everybody's panicking. Delta forced them to continue the shooting.

Is that too much? There's editing. There's so much editing to be done.

Well, I mean, the thing is that suddenly like a good Samaritan appeared in a rowboat and all 10 cops got on the rowboat, but they had the same problem with the weight. It's they're moving to that. They're actually moving slower now because they can't use the rowboat is too heavy. And so another rowboat showed up. And so that way the officers could go five and five and that sped them up considerably, but they're still on a rowboat and they got like 300 yards to go. I mean, I don't mean to,

compare, but then I think about like Charles Whitman, like how Charles Whitman's lighting up people from the, the bell tower, but then like 40 guys with guns or, you know what I mean? Like it's such a different scenario in America, you know? And it was like during Charles Whitman shooting, like remember there was a dude, a regular dude in an airplane shooting,

flying around the tower just fucking shooting it. It's very different. It's not pro-America, but it's like the one thing we got on lockdown is that everybody's dangerous. Everybody from house to house can be dangerous.

That's actually one of the big reasons they say why we like truly why America has yet to be fully invaded. Yeah. Which is one of the most dangerous things about us is that the entire population can be motivated and mobilized, which, you know, it's not good when you're going to the mall. But if the rooskies come, we got. Well, but yeah, I mean, that's the thing is that Charles Whitman, it's 14 versus, you know, 69. Yes. Yeah.

Well, the lack of police presence, speaking of which, was highly puzzling to Anders Breivik. He'd expected special forces to arrive by helicopter long before this point, but the only bird circling the island was a newscopter.

Idly, Anders again thought of suicide, but again ultimately decided that he owed it to himself to carry out his plan to phase three, the trial. This is the fucking time he had. Yeah. He's like sitting on a stump. Had a time to ponder. Yeah, he's just like, hmm, you know, like he's hanging out, you're drawing pictures, fucking playing Sudoku. When the cops are fucking rowing to get you, you got some extra time. Yeah, you're watching them come. Yeah. Do you think they got those rowboats in Orway? Yeah.

You know, that one, that one did make me feel better. That one made me feel better. In the meantime, Brevik continued with phase two, even though he was almost out of ammo and had been active for well over an hour without an ounce of resistance. Pretty soon, though, Brevik himself decided enough's enough, and he tried calling again to turn himself in.

After reaching the emergency line, he told them that he was on Utoya. He'd completed his mission. Please, someone come get me. I am tired. Yeah. I want to watch my shows. Yeah. I want to watch The Shield. Where is my iPad? When the officer asked him what he was commander of, referring to his earlier proclamation of rank, because they're still trying to figure out who the fuck this guy is. Yeah. He said, quote, Knights Templar Europe.

What followed is what I imagine to be a very Scandinavian conversation. This is the operator.

You want to surrender to Delta? Can you put me through to the Chief of Operations at Delta? Well, the thing is, you're talking to someone with our... in a way, superior authority? Okay, just find out what you need to do and then call me on this phone right here, okay? Alright? Hmm, but what telephone number? Brilliant, bye. I haven't got the telephone number. Hello? Hello?

And then it's over. Star 69! Star, where is it? I miss it! Of course, Brevik had again used his cell phone without a working SIM card. But thankfully, Delta Force had finally arrived, although it did take them a while to find Brevik. As Delta Force made their way north, Brevik headed south.

Again, a girl saw Brevik in his police uniform and ran towards him. Coldly, Brevik asked her which person needed help. Then he shot and killed her, just giving her that little bit of hope before snuffing her life out. He then stood at the shore and fired at a boat that was trying to save the kids who were swimming for it.

And that drove the boat away. Brevik then shot five more kids. He did, however, decide to spare at least a couple of the people who found themselves within his rifle sites. One older boy was spared because Brevik thought he looks like a conservative. He looks like one of us. So I'm not going to shoot him. Another saved his life. It really did. You saw a picture of him. He had a crew cut.

Another, much younger boy, whose father Breivik had already murdered, was spared because Breivik decided that he was not an indoctrinated cultural Marxist.

just yet. He had such a hard time killing white men. Yeah. He was so sad about it. He was. But finally, a little over a minute after Brevik killed his last victim, Delta Force found him and advanced. Some of them telling him to get on his knees, some telling him to lie on the ground. Brevik casually laid his rifle against a tree and sarcastically told them to make up their minds, kneeling or lying. Oh, God, you fucking

But then he also did the he said that he arrived and he looked like Jesus coming out of the woods where he used his hands to the side like this, where he was like, you know, you have me like quotes of the meme, the thing with the shrug meme.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Shrug meme. It's a big face with two hands like this. Yeah, the shrug meme. People send it to you and you want to punch them in the face. That's what he did. Yeah. How come they didn't just fucking light his ass up? Because that's not what they do. That's not what they do. Because they say, truly, they say, a life is a life to us. We treat you like everybody else, which is we don't believe in killing anybody for any reason. Every single person is treated exactly the same.

If he would have shot at them, would they have lit his ass up? Maybe. Yeah, probably. Yeah, they definitely would. But he didn't want to. He didn't want to be shot that way. He wanted to go to... He wanted to have his moment in front of the cameras. But as one officer pushed Brevik to the ground...

Anders began babbling, saying that this was a politically motivated shooting because the country was being invaded by foreigners. He added that this was the start of hell, that it was going to get worse, and that a so-called third cell had still not been activated. But when they asked him if there was anyone else on the island besides Breivik, he finally told the truth in both the island and in his life. There was only him.

Meanwhile, the full extent of the carnage on Utoya Island was being seen by outside eyes for the first time.

The buildings were full of the dead and dying. The shore was covered in bodies. Rocks were stained red and clothes covered in blood and shoes that had slipped off when kids ran in terror were strewn everywhere. They said that was one of the weirdest things, that there were shoes all over the place. Some of the survivors were in total shock. Some were apathetic to their rescue and others remained terrified that anyone who approached them, especially authority figures, would

might try to kill them. I'd probably follow that apathetic, like, thanks for nothing. Yeah, yeah, good work. Good work, guys. Yeah. Good hustle. Yeah. Yeah, they said that they would just kind of, they would refuse to move and they would just have to, like, kind of carry them out. Oh, yeah, they're all comatose with shock. Yeah. But as emergency crews transported the injured off the island and the dead were counted, Brevik was taken to a building that had been turned into a temporary headquarters for the police.

There, during a long interview, Breivik spewed bullshit for hours on end. I'd like to tell our audience to go ahead. And if you are interested about the brain of a... Because the one thing that Anders Breivik, with his constant blabbing, does for us is a view into this sad, lonely head.

Of his. The sad, lonely head of a narcissist. If you read his interrogation, and there's chunks of it in one of us, and there's also, like, you can find his interrogation. Like, reading through it really illustrates just how paper-thin a human being Anders Breivik really was. Like, he is a, there's just, like, there's just nothing there. He's just some bored...

shitty online troll now kind of surprised at his own actions. Was he like...

saying a lot of stuff that was in the manifesto? Absolutely. Well, after being told specifically that he didn't need to explain himself, they didn't fucking care, he insisted, saying that he had sacrificed himself for his cause and he was prepared to suffer and be tortured for the rest of his life. He actually requested, waterboard me. Waterboard me. And this statement may go a long way towards explaining why Brevik to this day complains about his cushy life in prison.

because if there's anything extremist of all stripes share, it's a fucking persecution complex. Yeah, he wants to be treated like a supervillain. The one satisfaction the Norwegian justicism gives me is the boredom with which they also react to Anders Breivik. I find that also like...

appropriate where his boredom is angering but you can kind of see if you put him in an American cop like you can see the guys like beating him or being like you sick fuck or like that kind of thing where like no it's just one bored man expecting all of this like vitriol like he's expecting to get beat in their cell and like them all dragging you know call him trash you know like they're just as bored with him as he is with what he did like it's this weird like whatever you're just another one of these criminals that we deal with every day essentially

Speaking further, Breivik made it seem as if he was a small part of a massive organization that was geared up to carry out similar attacks all over Europe. He claimed that this organization, the Knights Templar Europe, had been set up in London in 2002 and had since gained delegates in 12 countries. And you should meet my crazy girlfriend. She's so hot and amazing.

She's just so good. She's in it too. She loves white people as much as I do. But she's in Canada right now. Don't call her. She's so busy. Breivik then went on to try and explain his convoluted Eurabia theory, but stopped himself, saying that if the cops really wanted to know what he was all about, they would have to read his 1500 page manifesto. Getting right on it.

Now, after going on about Muslims... That's how you sell copies. Yeah, it is. That's what you do. That's grassroots. That's grassroots. Now, after going on about Muslims for a bit, Breivik noticed that one of his fingers was bleeding, which was most likely from a cut that was sustained when a skull fragment flew towards him after he shot someone in the face at close range. Was he covered in blood? No.

That was the weird thing about it. Like, why wasn't he covered in blood? He should have been. It's because he was far away. Because he was shooting people. No, he was shooting people at very close range. It seemed as if they were like... From what I've seen, because I see all the pictures, like, he was covered in gear. So maybe about a time they got all the stuff off him, you couldn't see it. But he wasn't. Because also, he never used his precious bayonet that he was talking about. Yeah, he did shoot people. But I do believe a lot of it...

maybe it's like this again our gut nerds will very happily correct this again I respect you but then the idea of like I think it blows out so we think a lot of times if you shoot somebody from close range it's not like exploding up at

you, it's exploding out the back where the exit wound is. Probably. But if you're shooting someone at very close range, maybe the skull just explodes. I don't know. I think it did explode, but then maybe it's not as much juice. Yeah, maybe.

I've never done it. Let's go shoot a bunch of watermelons outside. Come on, let's have fun. You're talking about our gun nerds out there. It's like, you guys know about shooting people in the head. You can tell us about... Don't worry. That's not talking to our gun nerds. That's talking to the murderers. They never fail to know every single thing, Marcus. That is true.

Well, Breivik immediately began freaking out when he noticed that he was bleeding. He said that he'd already lost half a liter of blood. Oh, I could feel it coming. He also said he had had too many energy drinks. And then if he didn't get a drink, he was going to die of dehydration. Yeah. So they gave him a soda. Yeah.

But in the end, the cut itself was less than a quarter of an inch long and was easily bandaged. This was the only injury Anders Breivik would sustain. And this is also all of his he's negotiating. He's trying to get him to like he's like, you know, I'll give you the information that you seek. But there's things that I'm going to need. I needed a computer with Microsoft Word installed. I need it now. And I need a Wikipedia. Yeah.

And then he also said he got his Coke. He got a cigarette, though. He did get a cigarette and he got his Pepsi. God damn it. Yeah. Well, that was the one thing. They kept giving him the stuff. And after a while, it's just like, every once in a while, he's like, just let one American homicide detective in. Just let one.

There isn't one mustache in the crew? Just one. Just hit his head against the table just one time. You know, just somebody in there. Like pee-pee in his Coke. Like the old affirmation. Just poison him. Anything. Well, steering Brevik back to the practical, the police asked him if there were any explosives back at his mother's duplex. In all seriousness... Just a vagina. In all seriousness...

In all seriousness, Brevik said, quote... No, but there's a PC in the fart room. He told the cops it was a PC in the... He actually used the word... Fart room. Fart room. Yeah. Yeah. Anything of interest in his mother's duplex was in the fart room, he said, while the rest could be found at his farm. Finally, Brevik said that while he was proud of his operation, the killing itself was absolutely awful. Later adding that, quote, it sucks to take a human life. Now, in this, I actually believe him. You know...

We'll talk about it. Yeah. Well, I don't think he ever really expected to make it to Otoya Island, nor did he really want to. In fact, he flat out said that if he had a choice, quote unquote, had a choice, he would have skipped Otoya. But once he was there, I think he convinced himself that he didn't have a choice. That is, if he wanted to keep believing his own bullshit. I think that this is the example of this sort of runaway narcissism that takes...

takes it to a clinical place where he just... I think he felt nothing. When he's saying it sucks to take a human life... I think he didn't like it, but that's the thing is that he didn't like it like, I don't like doing the dishes. But he will... Yes. And it was a shallow affectation about what he just did. And that he...

He does it time and time again. What makes him, I think that, you know, people throw the term narcissist around, but I think part of the reason why I use it specifically with Anders Breivik is because he shapeshifts comparing, depending on who he's talking to. So I think there is a little bit of the, it sucks to take a human life. He's saying that to these police officers because there's a little bit of him that's trying to ingratiate himself with the police officers. He's trying to make them think, oh, he's just this political...

kind of figure, like I kept saying, it's like, I wish I didn't have to do this. These, they're all forcing me to do this. This is all like, everyone's making me do this because I have to do this horrible. He said, there's a difference between brutality and tyranny. Like there was like this me. And he was like, sometimes you have to do something brutal to get people to pay attention to your cause. But it's all this still like you,

But as you'll see, he didn't actually care. He didn't actually care. I mean, he talked about how awful it was to take a life. He talked about how he felt for the parents. He talked about how scared the kids were. And then he'd openly yawn. Yeah. It would the next thing out of his mouth would be a yawn. And he'd ask how much longer the interview was going to be because he was all tuckered out from his big day. Because they were really trying to get out of him like.

Are there other terrorist cells? Yeah. Like, are you about to blow? Is this going to be a massive strike of terrorism across the entire city? Yeah. That's why I was like, yeah, fuck it. Yeah. You can have a fucking computer with word who gives a shit and tell me that they did the Norwegian thing, which is nice because they passive aggressive. We're like, we will look at the, we would look at the circumstances of your arrest like they do with everybody and decide all of these things you can get. And so it had to go through the full resolution.

take of a left-wing government that had like, which I, in that way is nice because then it took like eight weeks and then they're like, unfortunately no, you cannot have a PC with a Wikipedia on it. Fly from your grave.

Was it easy leaving the group chat when the bubbles turned green and every message was Cam likes this and Claire dislikes that? Oh yes, yes it was because I get enough overreacting at home. Like liking messaging again with WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone.

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Now, once the forensic team showed up, Brevik told them that he didn't want to have his photo taken because as per his own instructions in his manifesto, a terrorist needed to control his own image. Instead, Brevik tried convincing them to use one of the photos he posted online, either the one where he was pretending to be a Freemason or the one where he cosplayed as a member of the Knights Templar. Was he able to run that past his press agent? It's so hard. These publicists...

It's so hard to get him to pick up the phone, but I guess this is a big moment for him. This is his Grammys. They, of course, refused and took a picture of him looking tired in an armchair. Which is good. Again, they're doing little bits. They're getting their little more subtle shots. Well, they're waiting until the trial for the big one. Yeah. Next, they told him to undress. He refused twice, but suddenly leapt up and started tearing his clothes off. They stopped him and got him to slow down the

because they need it for forensics. But once he was down to his underwear, he started jokingly doing bodybuilding poses for the camera. Everyone in the room just stared at him until he nervously laughed and acted normal. See, again, that's where that true powerful European disdain comes in. The Norwegian stone face. It's so much more powerful maybe in a way because like, again, we would just

beat the fucking shit out of him. We'd stick a broomstick up his ass. But then like, they're just that withering... I remember the look. It was just in Germany when we were doing our show in Berlin. In the end, I remember just being like, so where would you go out after the show? It's like 11.30 and they were like, we have you on the list for the hottest club in Berlin. And we're like, oh great, we'll go hop in right now. We'll grab a drink and go to sleep. And they're like, that look. I'll never forget the look on the promoter's face when he was like,

one does not go to the club until 1.32 a.m. Like that look, and I will never recoup from that look. It was very rough. So I can imagine a group of men. You know a place where we just get a beer? I just need to get this. I'm tired. Man, have you ever had to undress in front of the police? No. No, thank God. Well, I've been to jail. And I remember the first time I went to jail and I had to undress in front of the police. They made me undress.

Did you show them your butthole? I had to show them. Lucky cops. The cops were like, all right, take it. I'm completely naked. They're like, all right, now turn around and bend over and talk. And I was like, what? And so I was just like, hey, what's going on? How you doing? And then the cop's like, cough. I said, cough, not talk. Cough.

So my name is Ed Larson. There's a lot of guys that say I look like one of the guys from Duck Dynasty. And we're like, Schmuck Dynasty. You know.

Meanwhile, police had found Brevik's mother, Venka, and had hauled her into headquarters for an interrogation all her own. As the interview went on... This fucking bitch. Yeah. As the interview went on and the scope of what her son had done dawned on her, she naturally made it all about herself. Incredibly, she said that this was...

almost worse than her son being a homosexual. Think about this. Think about the fact that he, she said this. Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. To me. Yeah. It explains a lot. Yeah, it really does. I mean, that may give you some insight as to why if Brevik was in fact gay, he never even, I,

entertain the idea of coming out because it's at this point his mother at this point she thought that he had killed only 10 people not 69 but even then like 10 people she's like this is almost worse than having a child who's a homosexual that is it's wild yeah she was just obsessed she had not the chance to give him herpes yet yeah well she not for lack of trying because they were super close you know finally though that was the only person he ever kissed i'm sorry

His mother? Yeah. No, he had that one... That politician lady. I still don't think they ever kissed. The way she talks about it... Do you think they butt-scissored? Yeah. Hole to hole. How I knew we would spend our lives. You can fart into my mouth, and I fart in your fart, and we... We fart in your... Put your fart in my fart.

Well, finally, Venka found a way to make the deaths of all these people all about herself, saying a refrain that she would repeat over and over again in the coming years. Sobbing, she would say, I'm the unhappiest mother in Norway.

At least his father was like, I wish he killed himself. Yeah, his father had checked out. Now, when it came time for Brevik's pretrial hearing, he demanded that he be allowed to wear his Knights Templar costume. It is not a costume! It is a uniform!

This request was roundly rejected. Are you a fucking idiot? No. He was also disappointed that there were only seven people present at the hearing because phase three of his plan was entirely dependent on a media circus. But on this day, there were only court officials, lawyers, and Breivik himself present when he was charged. Now, when it comes to punitive measures in Norway, there is a wild misconception when it comes to their sentencing.

Famously, Norway has a maximum penalty of 21 years in prison for any crime, including murder.

But what people often ignore or just don't know about is that those 21 years can be extended indefinitely every five years for another five years. If the convicted prisoner still represents a danger to society. I mean, it's a massive pain in the ass that every five years we're going to have to hear from Anders Breivik, but that's how their system works. We still got eight years to go before that starts happening. Oh, we already, we've already heard from him twice. He was in 2022. He had another thing because they were allowed to, because technically he got a, a,

parole hearing at 11 years yeah well he gets to go because you have to serve 11 years yeah he sued for it yeah we had to hear from manson all the time but manson was fun well did we have to or did we get to yeah we got to man yeah where's the album yeah yeah exactly at least charles manson had a skill yeah you know he was a beautiful voice yeah but when it came to anders brevik

He was almost sent to a hospital for the rest of his life instead of a prison. The only person who stopped that from happening was Anders Breivik. See, pre-trial, several forensic psychiatrists examined Breivik to see if he was responsible for his own actions or if he was legally insane when he did what he did. They wanted him to be insane. Yeah. Interestingly, though, during those interviews, Breivik was treated as if he was the most dangerous man in the world, what he always wanted.

For the first 11 sessions, the psychiatrist refused to be left alone in a room with him, so he was placed in a corner with his arms shackled to his belt behind three tables while two guards looked on. On the 12th session, they locked Breivik in a plexiglass cube like he was fucking Magneto. Yeah, he was getting off on all this, and he was, like, interrogating the psychologist. Yeah. He was, like, trying to ask them if they were marked.

Marxists that they believed in multiculturalism and they all just kind of the withering looks of a bunch of people being like, so why would that be important to you? Because that's all they would do, you know, like not giving him jack shit. Turn it back on him. Now, if you do something like this, aren't you by like

aren't you crazy no but like you know yeah totally crazy legally from what i have understand my limited understanding but it's mostly like you in that moment don't understand that what you're doing is wrong or like that you are so mentally ill right no yes he did well he understood completely yeah because he told the cops in the interrogation like it really sucks to take a human life i wish i didn't have to do that i feel bad for the parents he knew exactly he knew that what he was doing was wrong he was

He just thought it was justified. So what is a shithead who fancies himself a terrorist? He's a missionary style killer. So he had a plan like he had a whole thing that he was like trying to execute with them. The murders were something else. They weren't like it's not like with a normal like a regular quote unquote serial killer where it's sexually motivated or power motivated or one of these other type of things like it didn't come from inside. He believed, which I still believe.

like, take it back because, like, I will never give him the, he likes being a terrorist. He wants to be called a terrorist. I will still call him a mass killer. But they, he knew what he was doing was bad. So he's not crazy. But what is his mental condition then? An asshole. He's a fucking asshole. He's like,

people are assholes. He's clinically an asshole. A narcissist. He has narcissistic personality disorder. He's got something. He's just not... That's what he was diagnosed with was narcissistic personality disorder. He's not too crazy. In the extreme. Yes.

But as the psychiatrist spoke with him more and more, they came to believe that he was possibly a paranoid schizophrenic. And with good reason. Breivik regularly used self-styled terms like national Darwinist, suicidal humanism, and suicidal Marxist, which the doctors judged to be a part of a psychosis. And when I say with good reason, I mean that he showed all the markers of being a paranoid schizophrenic without actually being a paranoid schizophrenic. Because he showed up.

Acting as if he was the leader of a gigantic movement, this huge terrorist organization with thousands of members and sleeper cells, and that he was a sleeper cell, and that he did all this kind of shit. And also, like, this was all going to happen in the year 2040. Muslims were going to take over Europe and saying all of this stuff, which is like, it's interesting because that's the core beliefs of...

of these right-wing groups, but it's the, him just expressing them. They were all like, Oh, this guy's fucking nuts. Meanwhile, like, no, that's what a lot of people fully believe is happening. Now, what is a Darwinist? Is that like somebody dresses like a turtle? The idea that only the strong can survive. And this idea that there's social Darwinism, which is a term that, and it was social door that comes up a lot. That's again, it's a Nazi thought. Um, and suicidal humanism, um,

this is one of the dangers of his manifesto and what happened after the fact. Like, even I saying left-wing fascism is a small little blip or like, of this like mistake type thing that allow you to talk about it. But suicidal humanism, I looked up, I looked up all these terms to see where else they popped up. And the only other place that they popped up was this thing called the Chalcedon Foundation, which is what's called an American Christian Reconstructionist organization, which is all about

about how gay people should be executed, how unruly children should be executed, how like they want to bring it and talk about Sharia law. Like it's exactly Sharia law, but it's Christian Sharia law. Like women are second. Women should be not vote. They should only be childbearing entities. That fun term of y'all Kata. Y'all Kata. Yeah.

Additionally, Brevik talked at length about a massive secret organization made up of Knights Templar cells, thousands of them, who were all ready to strike at any moment. Now, at this point, police had surmised that Brevik had acted alone, that no such network existed. Therefore, this organization was thought to be a schizophrenic fantasy. But what psychiatrists didn't take into account was that while the Knights Templar claim was a fantasy, it was more a wish than a belief and is made up

terminology was simply the creation of a narcissist who believed that he was so smart that he could see the world in a way that no one else could. The psychiatrist in the end said that she believed that he was the loneliest man she's ever met. Yep. Yeah. That he would he serve her. That was like the thing that she mostly diagnosed with, which is like this almost like a homicidal loneliness. Mm hmm.

But when Breivik realized that he could be declared insane and therefore his manifesto would be sullied, he insisted that he be held accountable for his actions. This was in spite of the fact that he already knew that the vast majority of people thought that he, along with his uniforms, awards, decorations and titles were fucking ridiculous. Everybody was roasting him. Yeah. During his next round of interviews with psychiatrists, he toned down his rhetoric considerably,

calling him a foot soldier instead of a messiah, claiming that everything he'd said before was just an act, a role that he felt he was expected to play. Therefore, Anders Breivik was judged to be a narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, and he was very much liable for his crimes then.

In this, Anders Breivik played a similar game as his left-wing mirror image, male bomber Ted Kaczynski. We realize they're kind of close. They are the mirror image of each other. They absolutely are. Living in the middle of nowhere, you know, like no friends. Well, just the idea that they're smarter than everybody else and they're going to put their pain on everybody else because they don't get them and shit. But wasn't Ted Kaczynski actually smart? Yeah. No, Ted Kaczynski was brilliant. He was a genius. And then MKUltra kind of fucked up his brain. Yeah, and Anders Breivik, he wasn't actually smart.

No, he's an asshole. He was an asshole and an idiot. Yeah. So yeah. So he's worse than him. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Go America! Yeah! Well, when Kaczynski's lawyers told him that his only possible defense was to plead not guilty by reason of insanity, Kaczynski refused and took the maximum punishment so he could maintain the integrity of his manifesto, Industrial Society and Its Future. And there's a lot of people that rag on him for his spelling errors inside of his manifesto. But I also want to say, you guys ragging us for mispronunciations, and you kind of missing the point. That's the problem.

here, right? Is that you're missing the point of the manifesto. You're not seeing the forest for the trees. Read it again. So you're comparing yourself to Anders Breivik? No! He's comparing himself to Ted Kaczynski. But while Kaczynski was quickly tucked away in Colorado's Supermax prison, never to be heard from again. We did a good job on that one. Put him in a box. Put him there with Timothy McVeigh and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Let them all enjoy each other's company. What a fun lunch that must

Anders Breivik got a full trial in which he was given a platform to espouse his extremist right-wing agenda. Or he thought he was going to get a chance to do it. What Breivik didn't expect, though, was that the trial was not broadcast and not a single person in the room took him seriously. In fact, most everyone was visibly bored and highly impatient anytime he went off on a tedious rant, which was often. It's the coolest...

That's the, again, that's where they rock, which is, it's a room. It's a room of graphic designers, you know, because like they all have like, you know, like the clear glasses, like Norway, everybody's like very fashionable and cool and technology. And like them all just seem to be like arms crossed, just like, tell me when he's over. Just so many,

Did you see the judge sigh? The judge is like, let's go. Go ahead. Yeah, if anything, Brevik's own actions during his trial was what helped defang him because he showed everyone just how small he really was.

Now, the prosecution maintained that Breivik was a madman who had lost it five years earlier after he quit the Progress Party, shut down his diploma mill, lost all his money, moved back in with his mother and disappeared into World of Warcraft. Didn't help. Nope. They also showed his quote unquote film, which I will now reveal why I say quote unquote film because it was a fucking slideshow. Yeah, it wasn't a movie. It was a slideshow.

It's hard, man. Editing's hard. It was 99 images. It was like Soviet troops taking Berlin. You're like, this is the beginning of cultural Marxism. You know, it's photoshopped images of Muslim women pregnant with grenades. That's impossible. That's impossible.

Pictures of refugees entering Europe, so on and so forth. And as a soundtrack, Brevik used church music, European electronica, and the soundtrack from the PC game Age of Conan. He used the soundtrack from a PC game. While everyone else in the court was just sort of puzzled over this glorified 2011 YouTube dump, Brevik openly wept as his quote-unquote film was shown in open court.

And this really made me rethink 2010 to 2012 YouTube. Oh, sure. Because we used to show... I love those slideshows. We used to show those all the time. At our old, old live shows that we used to do back in Queens where we would just show videos. Every month, we had a new fucking piece of bullshit that was just like this. And it never occurred to me that the people who posted them were taking it down.

deadly seriously. I never thought. And they thought it was the best thing that anyone had ever produced. That it meant a lot to them. It meant so much.

What are you going to do? They don't know art. That's why you need the leftists. That's why you must have leftists. You're taking all the stuff. As far as what Breivik's defense was, he claimed self-defense against the threat of multiculturalism and Islam and presented his manifesto as the evidence that justified his actions. Yeah, he wrote this ending statement. He never expected to get off. He just wanted to use this as a platform.

Yes. At one point, he took to the witness stand and brought along a lengthy written statement, which he read in a fast, somewhat high-pitched monotone.

Brevik hoped for applause throughout, but instead got sighs, shrugs, and yawns. This is where the deep loneliness really comes in because there was this kind of thought in his head. This is where he's delusional and bad at everything. Where he thought that he was going to read this out and everyone's going to be like, oh, wow. Yeah, never thought of it that way. I never thought about that way. Anders, you're fucking incredible. And it's

Nah. They are just like, again, no outrage either. Not people like, damn you! Which I think he also thought he was going to get. I think he would have accepted that also gladly. But he thought it was going to be televised or something? Yeah, he did. He thought it was going to be televised. He thought the whole world was coming to a screaming halt for Anders Breivik.

And that everyone, he's finally going to, the revulsion and the celebration all at once. And he'd be at his, like, I think in his head, he's like, you're going to put me at a podium. And I'm going to zig-hile and everyone's going to be like, yeah, finally we get to do it too. And the thing is that you could do it at any time. You shouldn't. You know, like, it's difficult to do it. Yeah. And it's weird because it's like, he thinks it's like a thing of honor, but he's there zig-hiling. It's like, all right, go back to your fucking hole. That is what he did. Yeah. Yeah.

And Brevik bulldozed through that written statement, even after the judge told him, hey, you're 30. We said you give it 30 minutes, 30 minutes up. And the judge asked him, like, are you done yet? And he's and Brevik pathetically said, I'm only on page six of 13. She should cut him off, though. I do. And that's the one thing he's been like, just cut him off.

fuck off yeah but then they but they said that it would be good for people to hear how much of a moron he is essentially he could have just taken it out of his hands and fucking pissed on it in front of him that would have been it would have been very good they don't do it in public spaces in norway they are they are very clean yeah on and on brevik went reading faster and faster just so he could get to the end all while stopping to complain that he'd already convinced it down to 13 pages from 20

I don't know what you want from me. I'm already Microsoft word away from him. Single space, double space. I mean, it is single space. I would imagine. Finally, Breivik finished and predictably the first public reading of his ideals have been met with nothing more than utter boredom.

Now, that's not to say that Anders Breivik's manifesto isn't dangerous. It is. It is still. It's highly dangerous. He got enough fan mail where he complained that he wasn't given enough stamps to reply to everyone. And as we've mentioned twice already, the Christchurch shooter was inspired by the manifesto Breivik had shot out. We can talk all the shit we want about him. These ideas are fucking extremely dangerous. If you look up the stupid little terms he uses, you can see how it proliferates amongst a bunch of other like

hate groups and they use it as new ways to talk and they look up to him. This is the thing about little people, like little shitheads that are looking up to him. It's very interesting because what we all make fun of him for and kind of attack him for, they view as a badge of honor. They are accepted

this ridicule because they have this belief that all pioneers, all prophets are ridiculed as they're ruled out, which is sometimes true. But you got to, I think people need to understand that life is an arc. You got to think about like at the end of your life, they'll look upon your life and see, oh, he wasn't a little person. He did all this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, in this moment, you could see like it didn't,

It doesn't do anything. Like you, you like there, there is no end to this arc. It does not go. It is not working. Like the thing you do is not going to work, but they look up to him as if he's like, I'm a shit head with no talent. I could get on TV too. Yeah. But like, if you send him fan mail, aren't you then just like watched forever? There were people that, uh, there was one guy in particular, uh,

that was proliferating all like during the trial, like getting all of his shit out there, like, you know, facilitating, you know, fan mail, doing all this shit. And they found out it was just some dumpy fucking South Carolina. Yeah. Yeah, of course. And then, and then we got a Dylan roof. Yep.

Brevik's heroes, however, did not stand behind him. Fjordman himself. Yeah. Brevik's favorite author was called to testify. Predictably, he was found to be a short, ugly little fella in his 30s. Short is not the problem. A good short man is more powerful than a good tall man. I don't think that's true. It is true. I don't think that's true in any way whatsoever. A good short man is better than a tall good man. Just saying it doesn't make it real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it.

But there aren't short, good men still look down on? Only physically. Only physically. Allegorically, I know what you're saying. And it's not a good rope. Well, Fjordman roundly rejected Breivik as insane and said that he'd done a disservice to the anti-Islam movement by sullying it with blood. I'm sick of all of my hate being filled with this murder. Can't we just hate?

Brevik was further humiliated when the only part of his trial that was actually televised was his psychiatric review. It painted him as, from my point of view, a clinical little bitch who was unable to tolerate frustration, experience guilt, or maintain relationships. Brevik proved their point by having emotional outbursts multiple times on live TV because he wasn't allowed to respond in real time. Ah!

That is literally what he did. Literally, that is, yes. Yeah. The psychiatrist continued by saying the Brevik was a, quote, lonely psychiatrist.

deeply lonely person who desperately wanted a community. Yeah. But when he didn't find one, even amongst extremists like Fjordman, he created a fictional society with himself at the center. Because he couldn't be a part of a community in which he wasn't the leader and king of that little world. Like, it could never be he was a toy actor.

like a king. He should have just like, you got to be amongst us, bro. Now, after the testimony, the cameras were turned off and Breivik was allowed to respond. He said that he'd never been lonely. He's got a lot of friends. You'll be surprised. I tried to throw a birthday party and not everybody could fit

And he'd definitely been out on a whole bunch of dates. I'm always dating. Everywhere I go, I know every happy hour. And I know when the people, I know how to dance cha-cha with all the different, every lady, big buxom, big heavy breasted. I love a lady. And I, ooh, I hate the penis. I hate the big, veiny, delicious penis. I, I, I'm just, I am one of many. Ha ha ha!

Fucking bitch. Everybody likes me. Nobody hates me. But after the farce that was Brevik's trial finally ended, he was sentenced to the maximum of 21 years in prison, which is going to be extended by five years every time there's an opportunity to do so. The only thing I'm concerned about

is the fact that they, because they're so like forthright in that country. Again, it's not like us where we just been like, even if this was a rule, like we'd be like, yeah, sure. But like they seriously listen to him every five years, every five years, he's going to roll out. They treat everybody the same. I respect that. I understand. I absolutely respect that. I get it. I get it. Every single person. I mean, they believe in rehabilitation, but if he just gets better at lying, it's going to be bad. They're not going to ever let him out.

I don't want them to. I really wish someone would knock the shit out of him. He's in isolation. He can't go anywhere. He's going to go his whole life without ever getting the shit kicked out of him. I do believe if he gets out of jail, he's not going to last long. But who knows? I don't think he'll ever get out of jail. But no, I don't think he's ever been beaten. He was probably beaten up as a kid a few times. Well, as of today, Brevik is 12 years in, but he's certainly made a lot of noise since being put away.

In fact, one might say that he's almost more well-known today for complaining about his living conditions than for his political beliefs. Even though he basically lives in a nice one-bedroom apartment with a dishwasher, microwave, washing machine, flat-screen TV, and access to a basketball court and workout equipment, he still paints himself as a tortured victim. He's got a better apartment than a lot of comedians. He should have to wash his own dishes. Ha ha!

At the very least. They actually did that for a while. There was a period of time where he was trying to get these various favors, but he was so used to his mother cleaning for him, doing everything, that he literally would leave all these messes and they would be like...

Anders, you're not going to get fucking, I don't know what it is, like boo-boo time, whatever they called it for when he gets to go to the basketball court. Like, you can't go to recess unless you do this. And then he would like pout and shit. And finally, he started cleaning his room for the first time. So is he in total isolation? Yeah, he's in complete and total isolation. So he doesn't talk to anybody other than like two guards. There's two guys he sees. There's other two isolated prisoner guys that he can kind of see. Mm-hmm.

Well, most famously, he complained that he was unhappy with his PlayStation 2. Instead, he wanted a PlayStation 3 because it offered, in his opinion, more suitable adult games. I'm sick of Sonic. He actually, it was Rayman. He's like, Rayman Origins is a game for three-year-olds. It's for three-year-olds. I'm an adult. And I will be treated as such. I want to get Monopoly.

He also at one point threatened to starve himself unless he was given access to a sofa and a bigger gym. Go ahead. So they gave him a leather sofa. A leather sofa? Yeah. Which honestly is the worst of all the sofas. I hate leather sofas. It's an opinion. It's hot in the summer and it's cold in the winter. I don't like it either, but I've had nice times.

I just think it's a punishment in and of itself. See, just like his rambling... A photon is punishment. Yes. I would believe. See, just like his rambling manifesto, Breivik's complaints go on and on and will likely do so until he finally dies in prison.

Likewise, his manifesto itself is receding into history. Like every other person who uses murder to get their point across, Brevik's legacy will not be his ideas. Instead, he will be remembered not as a brave member of the Knights Templar who kicked off a revolution,

but rather as a murderous fool. His only remaining role in this world is, appropriately, to complain about the supposedly cruel conditions in Norwegian prison, which is, in all reality, the nicest prison system in the entire world. You know what a revolution I wish that he had concentrated on more? The dance.

Dance Revolution. Because that would have done a lot more. And we've watched a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race together. Yeah, we really are. I'm on season six right now. Yeah, I'm really enjoying it. I'm loving it. And I think that... Jinx Monsoon, love ya. Truly believe that if he just lets some bass...

In his walk, he would have done a lot better. If he had learned to serve versus kill. Yeah. I mean, he is pretty good at a read. But I want you to say, honestly, guys out there, if you're writing a manifesto right now and if you want to go out there and kill, I would say obviously don't do that.

you better work. Right? And I need you to take that energy and put it out on the dance floor. Yeah, and up the font size. Up the font size. Obviously, the manifesto was a nightmare to read. Very small font. Actually, I take it back. He couldn't read it all. Yeah.

he was terrible he was terrible at the read oh yeah he can't do no he's not a funny man no he's not funny he's not charismatic he's not even a good terrorist no he's just a shithead that killed a lot of very easy people and is extremely sad that he did so low fish game yes he was low fish game definitely not serving cunt which is interesting because you think it'd be bad yeah but it's good it's

Good, though. That's what we learned. All right. Go to patreon.com slash podcast on the left if you want to see us do this because it is there visually. You can also see the Patreon feed. You get Last Stream on the left live and you can comment and be a part of all the shenanigans. We do that on Tuesdays. Go check it out and go see the stupid. It's the TikTok at LP on the left. Is it on the TikTok? Instagram at LP on the left. I don't know what it does.

The TikTok? People like it. It's where Jesus is. No, it's not. Jesus is nowhere on there except for China. Hold on. Jesus isn't Chinese. I was hoping. I was hoping. Go to twitch.tv slash LPN TV. We got some really good stuff coming out this week. And I think we got... Tears of a Clown was really fun.

This week with Carolina. Yeah, Carolina came on and talked about 80 sitcoms this week. She did really great. Some plays underneath. We've got Brighter Side. Good Putt's going to come back because of our intrepid technical director, Eric. I want you to wish him luck because it's going to be a deal.

Yeah. So he's got to go on paternity leave, which is intense. Yep. And also this Monday, we're going to have our monthly No Dogs in Space live stream. So this Monday. Oh, yeah. It's it's leave day today. Oh, yeah. So the way I'm thinking about things, the dates are all fucked up. I got to look it up. Everything's wrong. Yeah. This March 4th at 6 p.m.

PST, 9 p.m. EST. We're going to be doing No Dogs in Space live. Going to be showing some videos. Going to be doing a good vinyl haul. I might do a Mort Garson vinyl haul, but I haven't quite decided on it yet. Don't spoil these people. I also...

I was going to say on Wednesday at 5 p.m. PST is going to be the brighter side with Amber and I. So come on, show up, bring us your problems. We'll give you the positives to your problems. And then following after that, we're going to stay on every other Wednesday, but we're moving back an hour. Yeah, great. Love it. And then someplace underneath, it's going to be every Wednesday too. It's going to be really fun. It was one other thing I wanted to bring up.

Coming, coming, coming. LPN Deep Dives Dune? LPN Deep Dives Dune. Go check it out. It is on its own feed. Now, I am going to be doing, with my intrepid human wife, Holden McNeely, we are going to be doing a review of Dune 2. I'm seeing it again for the second time tonight. I cannot wait. Yeah. It is very good. It's real fucking good. Are you and Holden just doing one episode, or are you going to do multiple? No, we'll do one. Just one? We'll help. Okay. Good. We'll help everyone. All right.

You people need that because I'm sure you won't understand it otherwise. Oh, and also, so next week we're coming back. Last Podcast Unleft is doing one of my fan favorite things that we've done the last couple of years. I'm really excited to do it for you guys. And then we've got another super long series coming right after that. We've got a lot of work. I'm excited for 2024. We've got a lot of good subjects this year. Yeah. Thanks. I'll give you a little hint for next week.

Brackets. Brackets. Brackets. March Madness? Don't do it! The March Madness killer? Don't you do it! Florida Atlantic University. Yeah! Alright, everybody. See you next week. Hail Satan! Again.

God, hail Norway. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I like Norway. I've never been. I've never been. I'd love to go. Yeah, we've seen wonderful people. Stockholm was wonderful when I went, but I think they're very different. And I can't say that. I feel like that's bad. You can't say that. It's not the same. It's not the same. But it's...

I've never been to Norway. I want to go to Norway. You know, I love my Iceland. Again, it's not Scandinavian. Well, no, it's culturally Scandinavian. But some people say that that means nothing. Well, I mean, there's differing opinions on everything. If you keep this up, I'm going to IKEA your cars. Whoa. And again, that came from the Greece counselor. The Greece counselor. The Greece counselor. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Did I have any jokes I didn't say? Let's see here. Nah. All right. Let's get down to it. Bye, fuckers.

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