We Hate Us
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Welcome to I've Had It podcast, a program chock full of free legal advice from America's greatest legal mind. Don't say that. I don't want to get sued. I'm Jennifer. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is the attorney to the listener. Don't say that. I don't want to get sued. How are you going to get sued? Because if people think I'm giving legal advice...

Like real legal advice. So you're going to put a disclaimer on the introduction? I'm going to put a disclaimer in here. I am not dispensing legal advice. Post it in the post show. Maybe another disclaimer could be my co-host is delusional. My co-host is delusional and to see you next Tuesday. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is people, specifically my children,

over dependence on maps on their phone. My youngest has lived in this town his entire life. He cannot find anywhere, even if he's been there 7,000 times without his maps. Same for my daughter. And this is highlighted by my oldest who is in Houston and they didn't have power. And I said, go to a Walmart or Target because there is a Walmart or Target somewhere by you in Houston. He says, I don't know how to get there.

Why not? Well, because I can't use my maps on my phone. Go to McDonald's.

I don't know how to get there. And I'm just like, whatever happened to just getting in your car and driving until you found something? Whatever happened to trying to pay a little bit of attention? The over-dependence on map, it'll bite you in the ass. It's all great and fine until something happens and you don't have it. Then you're fucked. I'd like to add some context for the listener. Will you please share with the listener at what age you weaned your children from sippy cubs?

My oldest was 16. Now, he didn't drink it all the time. Right. It was just... But you weaned from the sippy cup at what age? 16. Okay. For context, will you please answer the following question, counselor? At what age have you ceased doing your oldest laundry if you have yet? I haven't. Right. Okay.

But the MAPS thing is like you have to get yourself around. Here's something that I've low-key had it with. You, every single day, have a grievance about your children to me. Every day. Emily did this. Luke did this. Sam did this. And it's something about them not advocating for themselves. And then...

I said, well, what did you do? And he said, well, I just did it for him anyway, just to shut them up. That's my biggest problem. So a low key grievance of mine is enabling you to continue to enable and listener. These kids are 19, 21 and 23. And for the permanent record, she just stated 24. She just stated she still does the 24 year old's laundry when he's at home. Yeah.

So I still make all the meals. I still do all the things. I'll just kind of let that sit there because you're loved and you're adored by our listener. But I also think it's time for a little tough love. You don't get to continue to create about, to complain about problems that you create and enable. Okay. But going back to the sippy cap, it was only because he spilled all the time.

Right. And I had to clean it up. 16 years old. And the situation is you, he spills, he cleans up. I know, but I do it better. And now you wonder why he can't find his ass with both hands in a flashlight. Like somehow he's the asshole here.

I think all roads always lead to me being the asshole. I think that's just, I think we can all just make that as a thesis statement. I love you and I love your kids like they're my own. But the codependency and the enabling, you've got to start drawing boundaries with them advocating for themselves. And the next time your kids ask you a stupid question,

You need to say, I don't, I cannot respond to something that you're fully capable and competent enough to solve yourself. I'm not helping you by doing that. I don't think we'll ever have a conversation again then. All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with these, this phrase that you hear often and it's, you know, some rube mouthing off on Facebook. It's like,

Well, you're not a real American. Oh, yeah. Everywhere. This whole concept that is so intellectually stupid, void of intellect. Actually, a cell phone is to how stupid you are. Right. To say, if you don't agree with me politically, you're not a real American. As though there's some sort of litmus test aside from,

being a naturalized citizen born in the country, that you have to go through, and I don't know if it's dry humping the flag. I was going to say my many is on dry humping a flag. You know, waving your gun around, hating on the LGBTQ plus. Being a racist. Yeah. And I just, it seems like this is getting so much louder. But just on the face value, I'm just like,

You dipshit. No, I am. I'm a real American. I was born in a red state in Texas and I lived the remainder of my life in a deeper red state, Oklahoma. You can't get any more American than what I am. And the arrogance and the sheer breathtaking stupidity of these goddamn rubes.

to think that they're the sheriff of who is American and who is not American. And you know what the same group of people do? They start trying to kick people out of the country. Well, if you don't like it here, just move. Move somewhere else. Yeah. I think what it is is they are so devoid of any...

ability to intellectualize policy or circumstances or perspective. It's all from their point of view, and it's just the lowest common denominator. It starts with you're not American. Then it starts with you're not Christian. Then you're

Black or brown, you're LGBTQIA plus community. You're a female. Like it's a built-in superiority. I mean, arrogance starts with I'm superior because I dry hump a flag. I carry a gun. I go to church on Sunday. There's a superiority in that and an entitlement to be thought of as the smartest, most masculine, most alpha person.

You know, instead of you're just a fucking dipshit. And, you know, you could take it further if these people had the intellect to even follow along with what I'm about to share with you and our listener is that.

Being a quote unquote real American is supporting the separation of church and state, supporting opposing gerrymandering, opposing any restrictions placed on citizens to exercise their right to vote. But these rubes are not smart enough to even follow what I said to you. It is this caveman rule.

sophomoric mentality that it's me, real American. You fake American. You like Europe so much, you just fucking move to France then, fucker. And it's just, and these are the people that wear the cell phone shirts that say never surrender with Donald Trump's mugshot on it wherein he surrendered. These are the same people that are so pro-America that they believe that

blocking the peaceful transfer of power and instituting a coup on the government. I mean, the hypocrisy is so transparent. It amazes me they don't get it, but they don't. All right, Kylie, what's going on in the World Wide Web? Speaking of these MAGA idiots, I have a one-star review. Okay, good. One. One star from Katie1339, titled Old Hags. Okay.

And she writes, old petty hags who complain about politics nonstop. Get over it. So much to complain about and you have to constantly talk politics. Look how the pride parade in NYC ended up. And that's the kind of stuff you promote. Unreal. You two are the ones who sound angry. Which the pride parade, a fight broke out at the end.

She's seen the footage of January 6th. Right. Oh, no, that was a death step. That's I mean, to me, that kind of like that woman, that's really pathetic because I'm sure there's a shit ton of podcasts out there that speak to this real America, fake America world that I referenced earlier.

I don't even know about them to even go right and search up to write the review. I'm flattered that she hates us with that kind of ambition to go put it in the permanent record. That's I'm really, truly flattered by that. But at the same time,

Like that's that arrogance again. She thinks that she has the right to tell us what we can talk about on our very own podcast. And I would argue that if we were sitting here talking about Trump and dry humping American flags and have an eagle swirl around us, which by the way is our bird, what do they say pumps? And she would love it. She'd be all in. She'd be all in. And so that's the thing. It's this, it's this black and white thinking.

They either have to think and be the same way I am or they're not real Americans and they have a shitty podcast, which we do have a shitty podcast. Right. And I'd be the first to sign up. We are all packed. Shittiest podcast in America. Number one, Jen and Pumps. I've had it. Right. Our listener agrees. That's right. They just stick around out of sympathy. We have solidarity in the dog shit. Okay. Who's next? Okay. I've got a five-star.

Titled, Why Would Anyone Listen to This? From James Gregory. Why would anyone listen to this is what I ask myself several times a week while settling in to satiate my content parched lips.

Suckling every drop from these two broads. True patriots, you're in for a real treat. If you like America, this is the podcast for you. From deep within the heartland, these two pre-Medicare dilettantes tap into the pulse of US politics and wrap their messages in a warm, slippery, and surprisingly enjoyable suppository that disarmingly slides right in, priming you for more action.

If I had to give up ten of my online vices, of which there are many, these two would be far from making that list. There aren't enough superlatives to adequately convey this production. One does come to mind, though. Pettiest.

Oh, that's beautiful. That's so sweet. Or a suppository that surprisingly slips right in. Now, I couldn't be more flattered. And I just want to point out. Beautiful writing. The description. Yeah. I feel like I was there. Like I was in his butt cheeks right then. You felt like you were just that little suppository just squeezing right up through the anus. Yeah. Here, I just want to point this out. And maybe I'm the only one that took away from this.

But you've got their old hags, blah, blah, from the first lady. And then you have that kind of prose. I think it speaks for itself. I really do. I think it's like, got it. Game over. Yeah. I love it. Yep.

That's so great. And the pettiest. What an honor. That is. Yeah, because that's something we, I mean, we truly aspire each and every episode to be as petty as we can for the Patriots and for our mascot, the Eagle, which we have taken back. And we've taken Patriot back. We've taken Patriot back because our listener is a Patriot. Right. And a Gatriot.

And that bird is ours. Of course it is. Yeah. All right. We haven't done this in a while, but I think it's time for disappointing affirmations. Do you want another one? Yeah. Okay. Okay. The first one is you are not alone. Everyone else is sick of your shit too. Isn't that the truth? Everybody's sick of you.

Okay. The next one. I thought I had hit rock bottom, but then I met you. You got to give it to Dave. I mean, he kills this shit every day. Yeah. I mean, he fucking kills it every day. Totally. He never takes a day off. All right. Next one is, it's okay if you aren't where you wanted to be by now. Your goals have always been unrealistic. Okay.

That's great. That's so good. I'm going to start saying that to my kids. Yeah. You've always been unrealistic. Right. Okay. Just when you think you've met the biggest idiot ever, an even bigger one will come along and blow your fucking mind.

That is the truth. It is the truth. I mean, it just, it's like no matter how low you go, there's always something under it. It's unbelievable. I thought after Trump...

you know, like if Trumpism is defeated, that will be the end of that. And then when you look behind him, all the people lying in wait, Mike Johnson, who's a cuckoo for Cocoa Puff, religious fanatic, Marjorie Taylor Greene, all of these religious wacko nut jobs that think they have daily conversations with God and they've been divinely put in the government. He

is Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Yeah, no, the clown car, people just keep getting out of it. All right. And the last one is always be your true authentic self unless you want people to actually like you. That's great. Okay. Today we have a guest and she's got a lot of grievances. You may know her from the Lady Gang podcast. She's also an actress. Let's welcome to I've Had It,

Becca Tobin. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right.

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All right, let's welcome to I've Had It, our podcast sister from the Lady Gang, Becca Tobin. Becca, how are you? It's been a while. It's been a while. I need to say, first off, I'm sorry I look like this. I've had no child care for four weeks. And it's really, it's, you've had

caught me in a really compromising state of mind, but I hope I deliver for you. I just want you to know that when school was out, because our kids are old enough now, they drive, but like we would be driving from lunch and we'd pass somebody's house that was little kids and we'd be like,

There she is. She's in the weeds, man. I mean, the summer is the fucking worst. And you've got a little bitty kid. Yeah, two and a half. I think people actually feel worse for me than they would like a widow when they drive by my house. Yes, absolutely. It's true. It's true. Because at least the widow is left alone. Bingo. And she doesn't have to have sex with anybody after taking care of those kids. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

All right, Becca, you know what comes next? And it's petty grievances, hot garbage time. What have you had it with? It's summer, right? You wouldn't know I'm wearing an oversized sweatshirt because I have to keep the house 68 degrees for my tyrant son when he naps. But it is July, summer. I have been trying since maybe March to find a suitable bathing suit for a woman of my age. We're almost middle-aged.

who chases a child around a pool, who refuses to wear floaties and doesn't know how to swim. And all I fucking find is,

are thongs and offensively cut one piece bathing suits where every hair on my body has to have been removed or you're going to see it in the in the bathing suit that I've chosen. There's not a single bathing suit on the Internet suitable for a woman with large labia or pubic hair, period, anywhere.

It's insane, you guys.

And I'm sitting on the edge of the kiddie pool with my feet in the pee water, right? Pumps was sitting next to me. And she had on this black one-piece swimsuit. I'll never forget it. Because then she stood up to call for one of her kids, like, Sam, come here. And I looked right to my left. And because I was sitting and she was standing, I was lined up.

to where her vagine would be right at eye level, but she's outward facing. Because her belly was so protruded and so pregnant, the elastic wasn't gripping around the vagine. So I was able to see straight through the hair, the forest. I was able to see the forest and the trees straight through sunlight, all the way straight through. And I said,

Angie, I can see your pubes and I can see straight through. And she goes, you know what? I don't fucking care. It's the right answer. It's the right answer. Here's the thing. When we were in college, we had this friend that was super hairy. We didn't know anything about trimming.

your vagine. Like I did not know that until I was grown. Really? No, we had no idea. So we were in Puerto Vallarta and my girlfriend was super duper hairy. And I look over and her bathing suit is like, it's like she had an apple in there, but it was just her pubes. We looked over and we were like, oh my God, your pubes are like a mountain. And it was like, I know, I don't know what to do. I mean, nobody out of eight or nine women thought

grab some scissors. Nobody thought that. But the 1970s porn bush was kind of in, you know, pumps is a lot older than me. So you can imagine how much older she is than you. So, but I remember the,

trimming down. It's not quite what it is now, which I think is full-blown Brazilian. Is that the... Right. That's the look. Bald eagle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember the grooming and shaving. And then we also use Nair. No, I do remember the Nair for like the bikini line, but I didn't... We just didn't... You didn't give yourself a little cut? We didn't do any trimming. You didn't do a little... It was just Jon Bon Jovi 1980 hairband right there all the time. You didn't do a little cut and color? No. No cut and color. But are you...

I mean, you guys are probably none of us are natural blondes, right? Like we were we were blonde as children. So we are holding on for dear life. Right. But my pubic hair is it is that of a natural blondish person where it's an awkward color. It looks like the color of like a city rat. So it's like a grayish brown. It's mousy.

The texture, it's mousy. The texture of it, I wish that I could like create a mound under a bathing suit, but it is quite straight and quite thin-ish for pubic hair. So even that is like, it's go balls to the walls or nothing at all. And that's why I can't even, I can't even grow a bush. It's so disgusting to look at. I have no other choice but to just lob it all off.

Right. No, it's, I'll tell you what, there's a lot of grooming that goes into being a female. It's too much. It's too much. And the gay men. And gay men. Gay men are busy with all that too. I feel like gay men are just better at it. They're just, the grooming, if I had the grooming skills of a gay man, I would be a happy woman. You know what? I think they're less burdened by it.

I think they're more enthusiastic about. Yeah. Oh, that might be right. They have a lot more pride in it for us. It's just one more goddamn thing that we have to take care of. Yeah. But back to the swimsuits, I'm with you on this there. It seems to be an extreme. You've either got this dorky, predictable. I live in the suburbs and I'm taking my Stanley cup to the pool style swimsuit.

That's not even remotely sexy and is too modest. Or you have this catch me, fuck me dental floss situation that is untenable and inappropriate when you're with your children at the pool. Not that there's any, you know, like I wear a bikini when I'm on vacation with my kids. I'm not that person. I'm not a Puritan person at all. But when it's just skimpy to the point of being borderline provocative, it's just...

you're kind of uncomfortable because you're not wanting to draw attention to yourself. Yeah, it's upsetting. I mean, I had, I just heard that the tankini is back. I like a tankini. You love a tankini? I love a tankini. Because you can pee in it. What? No, no, no. You have to take, you don't have, it's like a, it's not like a one piece that you have to pull down everything where your butt naked to pee. Who does that? You got to pull it to the side.

Oh, you pull it to the side? Let me ask you this. When you say pee in the tankini, are you peeing in the pool? No, no, no, no, no. I just meant like you can pull your pants down and pee. You don't have to disrobe the whole thing. But she's saying you just pull it over to the side. See, I never knew that. Wow. She just found out about vaginal grooming as well. I just found out. But you know, this weekend I did a goog on swimsuits for women over 50. Wow.

And I might as well have been Amish. I mean, it was like, I'm not like the big skirts and all that, which I love a tennis skirt. But I was just like, I want to get a little bit of sun. And then I feel like if you have big boobs that are not fake and perky, you're really at a disadvantage. And then all that pubic hair. And then all that pubic hair. Now I trim it. Now I have like a little trimmer. Yes. Yeah, I just trim it right up.

Okay. We were emailing with you prior to talk about your grievances and you seem to have some good takes on Gen Z. What's going on with Becca and Gen Z? As a millennial, I just want to know why are they so obsessed with us? All I see, I just remember being young and having life ahead of me.

and being so excited. I was not thinking for two seconds what Gen X was doing. They were at Dave Matthews Band concerts living their best life. I wasn't making fun of that. I was like, do you with your fish sticker on the back of your car. I don't care. Whatever makes you happy, I'm living the best life that I can. Gen X...

Gen Z is obsessed with millennials. It is so crazy. Every day I open social media up and I see something that I'm doing as a millennial that's just, quote, not cool or so lame showing my millennial. It's like the height of my socks. You can no longer wear a no show sock. You must wear a

It's like a tube sock. I'm wearing it. I've given in. I'm sorry. Yes, I have. Okay. Give it in. Becca. I know. I caved. I don't want to be an old lady. Okay. They get me. They have bullied me into submission. And now I own 500 pairs of these, whatever you fucking call these socks. Okay. So that I can't get made fun of. Then...

Now they're onto us about the way we wear our sunglasses. We apparently, you can't push your sunglasses all the way up to your nose where God intended for them to be. You have to wear them a centimeter below so that you can kind of peek above the sunglasses and just look so chill and cool. A la Audrey Hepburn. Yeah, I think that is...

You're looking at yourself too much in the mirror. If you have enough time to decide where your sunglasses go and how your eyes look, just put on a pair of fucking sunglasses. Let me ask you this. Which generation do you think the wearing a blazer or a jacket without putting your arms in it came from? Unfortunately, that is my generation. It is the millennials. That's our fault. That's our fault. I own that.

Because I see it all the time. And I see Gen Xers like us doing it on the internet. I see the millennials and I see the Gen Zers. And one day I thought, okay, okay, should I go to dinner? And I thought, okay, I'm going to put the blazer over my shoulders and not put my arms in it. It lasted about five minutes. I was paranoid the blazer was going to fall off my shoulders. And I thought, fuck it.

I'm going to wear the blazer. I'm going to put my arms through the holes that were designed for them to fit in. And I'm just going to be a normal person that wears a blazer. And if that means I'm not cool, so be it. And so I just went with it. Well, you know what I think that means? I think it means that you're rich because you can afford to get your sweaty armpits in your blazer and take them to the dry cleaner after every wear. I

I sometimes think I'll put this over my shoulder because then I won't sweat up the armpits, but I'm keeping the draft away from my cold shoulders. And then I don't have to worry about dry cleaning that blazer later. So it's actually stealth wealth that you're representing.

Because you know what Gen Z isn't is wealthy. And that's the only thing I have to rub in their faces when I get so upset with their bullying. What are some other examples of Gen Z bullying online? Oh, have you heard of the millennial pause? No. So if you're starting, if you're doing an Instagram story,

and you wait till you know it's recording, right? There's a little bit of a pause before you say, hey guys, let me tell you about this thing I discovered or whatever. Hey, I'm on vacation. The cool thing to do is you just start talking. Whether it picks up your audio at the beginning or not, you're not cool if you're waiting forever.

for everything to be ready, I guess, to pick up your, your, whatever you have to say. So it's like, they want to just make it seem like they've just caught you in a moment and it's, you're so cool that you're always camera ready and you just don't give a fuck if anybody can hear the beginning of your sentence. So that's another thing that's just, it just drives me insane. So everything I do and they have, they've gotten to me clearly. Let me ask you this. Do you think they have a point on a lot of this stuff? Is that why it sits in your craw?

The socks. Yeah, of course. The paws. Do you see your own character defects in these posts? When I put these socks on for the first time, I literally said...

Where have these socks been all my life? My legs look much better in this sock than a no-show sock. It does. I like, I do enjoy it. I like it better. They're just picking on you, Becca. Picking, picking, picking. Blonde hair apparently was not a thing that we should have anymore. Oh, well, that's a real problem. I was thinking, I got so tickled when she was talking about the millennial paws and

Because when she and I do a video without all this, the first thing we say is, is it recording? We go all the way to. Ours is the Gen X. Yeah. I'm like, is it recording now? Is it recording? Okay. Yeah. I think it's recording. Is this thing on? Hello? Is this thing on? So you're doing better. I know.

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I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it. Raw dogging on flights.

I mean, I've had it because I would go crazy. Like I lose my mind if I forget my charger for my AirPods. Like I bring like four headphones in case. I mean, I just, I don't understand how anybody could be alone with their own thoughts like that. And also leaving yourself open to conversation with other strangers on a plane without having the protection of headphones in is crazy. It's reckless. But if that's for you,

But I've had it for myself. No. What about you, Pumps? Are we talking about wearing AirPods or are we talking about having sex? What do you think? When I say, Pumps, had it or hid it, raw dogging on flights. I thought that meant having sex. Okay. Had it or hid it, raw dogging on flights. I would love to be a member of the Mile High Club. I'm just going to go out there and say it. I would love to do it. So, hid it? I would hid it, but not on a commercial flight. Okay.

So you're hitting raw dogging on a flight on a private plane. Right. Kylie put that in the permanent record. Pumps wants to get laid on a PJ. Yeah. I mean, I think that's fucking cool. Now, what is raw dogging? Is it the ear pods? Ear buds? I hate you so much.

It's when you get on an airplane and you don't have a headphone in. You don't watch anything on the screen. You don't have a book. You don't have a crossword. You literally just sit there and watch the flight map on the screen in front of you. It's fucking weird. I've had it with that. That is fucking weird. I'm like you. I'm stocked up. All right. What about raw dogging on a PJ? Doggy style. Okay, wait. Are we talking about the AirPods? The earbuds? Yeah.

Yes, I would do it doggy style sex. Okay. All right. No, I would not go on a PJ with no earphones. Okay. All right. Now, I'm glad we cleared that up, listener. All right. Had it or hid it, Instagram charlatans. I'll tell you, I have had it because if, unfortunately, there was a time in my life where I really liked the accounts of the non-toxic people, right? Because I felt like, yes, there's a bunch of crap in our

and our food and they're spraying it and the whole thing. But now all of my algorithm is, is just people telling me that vegetables are no longer good for you and that Botox is making us sick. And that is a hill I'll die on. You know what makes me sick is seeing deep lines in my forehead. Yeah.

I am sicker over those than Botox could ever make me. Yeah. So I'm in and it's everybody's a charlatan. I think there should be some form of you have to submit your credentials. If you want to put wellness expert underneath the name in your bio there, you have to be qualified. Okay. This is the thing. There is so much.

expert abuse out there. I'm a wellness expert. I'm an advice expert. I'm a workout expert. I'm

Well, I'm a fucking astronaut expert. If it's that easy to just make up some shit, then let's just, aren't you a brain surgeon expert? Absolutely. I mean, like, it's just everybody just taps on expert and then they genuinely think they're an expert. And then they go on to Instagram with this faux title, you know, advice expert, and they have

No psychological degrees, no course in it other than reading some bullshit on some website somewhere. And then they're offering this advice to all these dumbasses on the internet who are lapping it up. And I've just had it. Oh, yeah. Well, the parenting ones are also just... Parenting expert. I'm so glad. Fuck off. So glad. Totally. We did not have that one.

when I was raising kids because I think it would make you crazy. I think mothers that have to deal with that, it would make you crazy. Now, I know that I'm mad at Gen Z, but guess who's going to be really pissed?

the people who have to exist with the gentle parenting generation. When those kids grow up that were gently parented, those are going to be insufferable humans. It is the craziest movement I've ever seen in my life. I have a two and a half year old that if I get on his level after he slaps me in the face,

with a car and I say, I know you're feeling a lot right now and this must be so frustrating. And mommy also does. You know what a better alternative is? Hit this sofa as hard as you can. Tried it. I just got hit another time with a car in my fucking face. So that's gentle parenting. It doesn't work. So stop telling me to be, get on his level and be calm. Yeah. Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it, podcasters.

Obviously, I've had it. Had it. Same. I mean, also, is there anything more humiliating than being at a cocktail party and having to tell someone what you do for a living? I totally agree. I always say I'm a lawyer. I never, ever say podcast. Like one time I was filling it out on my insurance.

And I was like, no fucking way I'm putting podcasts. They're going to think I'm a fucking nutball. No. Yeah. It's I've had it. I've had it. It's how I make my living. I wouldn't go back and change it. But it's an overly saturated market. Also, you don't need any credentials to enter. The bar of entry is non-existent. I think it's lower than the experts. Yeah, it actually is. Way lower. Yeah.

You don't even need a microphone. It is just, it's, you can, anybody can do it from anywhere about anything at any time. So yeah, I've had it. I've had it. Yeah. We tell each other all the time. I fucking hate us. I hate our podcast. I hate our voices. You just get sick of yourself. Get ready. You, the self-hatred, I've been nine years. The fact that I will get off of this, not look myself in the mirror, but sit down and pee and think,

You're insufferable and you need to shut your fucking mouth and then still in 30 minutes jump on another Zoom and take the ride all over again and not change anything or adjust a single thing. When we're traveling to do our tour, we share a room and I'll wake up in the morning and look at her and I go, I fucking love

hate us. She goes, oh, we're the worst. I fucking cannot stand us. And we have that in common, our mutual hate for us. And we share that. And now we can share in that hatred with you. We are the most hated thruple in podcasting. Yes, we are. And the people that come up to me in the wild and say, oh my gosh, I love the lady gang. I look at them like they have four heads and I'm like,

Why? Like, thank you, but fucking why? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I don't trust you. Because I really question your judgment. I question the type of person you are, your character, all of it. Well, I have to tell our listeners, we have guested on your podcast and y'all are spectacular. Yeah, thank you. Really, y'all are pros. You're good. That...

Kelty, she runs the tight ship. You can tell she tries to keep it all on schedule. No, it's great. He's a wackadoo. We're actually heading... You just said tour and the blood inside my body went cold because we're about to go on tour again. And the way you hate yourself even more on tour is something special. It really is, isn't it? Yeah. Because when you send your podcast out...

on YouTube and through the RSS feed on Spotify or on Apple. It doesn't seem real. It's not tangible. And then you show up to your live show and you're like,

These are the people that listen and I'm face to face with them. And I've said all that stupid shit. Yeah. They heard, they know every bit of it. They know. And they still came. Yeah. All right. So tell these poor souls where they can go see this horrible tour. Yeah.

that you hate so much, the Lady Gang tour. Yes. We're going to be hitting the road every weekend, one weekend a month from August to December. So you can go to theladygang.com to see where we're going. I think we start in Austin and then we go to Dallas in August.

And then from there, I don't remember because, again, I just have no brain cells left from doing this for nine years. But it's a it's a fun time. All right, Becca, we love you. Thank you so much for coming back on. Did we do better or have we morphed into better podcasters now than the first time? I mean, I think you guys started strong.

And I had just as good of a time here today. I wish you'd told me to shut up more. I adore you. I love coming on the show. You'll have to come back on Lady Gang because it would be a good time. So fun. Good luck with the tour. Yeah. Thanks. Thank you so much. Bye. She's the best. I love her. I absolutely love Becca. She makes me giggle. She does. She's a really good podcaster.

And I really think back to that episode that we did with her and how abjectly incompetent and ridiculous and just despicable that we were. Yeah. And she's a pro. She's a pro. She comes back on. Yeah. She pumped us full of bullshit and said we were great then, which we all know is false, listener. Right. But we're not that great now, but we've come up. Right. But I just, I think she's the type we could go to dinner with and giggle the whole time.

I mean, she's fun. Yeah, no, she's really cool. And I like people that are funny and cynical while being positive at the same time. Right. I don't like the overt positivity, but she's willing to do some trash talking and call a spade a spade. And that's just, those are my kind of people. Yeah. Yeah. I like her better than us.

I totally like her a million times better than I like us because I hate, hate, H-A-T-E, despise us. Our ability to suck...

and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. Right. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. There's no question. No question. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November. In Australia, we are still trying to get somebody in the continent to return our phone calls to book the January tour. You would think they're not excited to see us.

something i guess the whole country's mad at me over the brekkie dust up but whatevs i'm coming to apologize that's right and patreon so let's start our patreon post show right now pumps tell them we will see you next tuesday or thursday or both

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