We Are So Back
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So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gaitriots, Thatriots. Fuck it. We're going to be loud. I'm not going to be sad anymore. I'm not going to pre-surrender to this stuff.

Let's just keep ripping it, right? We got to stick together. We got to move forward. No pre-surrender here. We've got the blue tipped hawk. Blue winged hawk, but whatever. Whatever. We have a bird. Cassie, Jessica. We have a bird. We have a bird. That's what matters. And the bird can change. Right. I might do a caw, caw, caw. We can change the bird. We can do whatever we want to do. That's right. We can. Because we're not pre-surrendering. No, absolutely not. What have you had it with?

Okay, what I've had it with is over communication. And I know we've touched on this before, but this is so real. So my Christmas light guy, I've had three in-person meetings. I've had five telephone calls. I've had texts. Now I'm hiding in my house when he comes over. I have had sex with people that I communicated with less.

three kids with somebody. I talked to less than this person. Wait, wait, wait. I have to push back there. Your husband was a yak mouth, the end all yak mouth. Right, but I completely ignored it. Right. I just totally ignored it. This person is demanding answers. And I'm like, we're not cracking the atom. I just want the Christmas lights on my house.

So last night, half... Okay, first of all, I want to say I'm a hypocrite because my Christmas lights went up this weekend. They're on my house. Before Thanksgiving. Before Thanksgiving. I fucking suck. Right. I own it. Right. But I noticed half of my Christmas lights went off after a while. And part of me didn't even want to tell him because I just don't want to have the communication. But I broke down and I did it.

And you know how many conversations we've had via text just this morning? Seven. Just so many questions. And I'm like, here's the deal. My lights are white. I want you to plug them in. I want to be on a timer. I want them to work. That's it. That's the list. I don't want any grand, like, you know, sleigh bells coming down my chimney. Nothing. I just want that. And I can't have it. And now I'm in a position where I have a full blown relationship with

with my Christmas light person. So yesterday, I'm driving into my neighborhood and the neighbor that I got the Christmas light person for, I rolled down the window and I'm like, why do you hate me so much? And he's like, what are you talking about? And I go, I'm using your Christmas lights guy. And he goes...

Oh, my God, my wife was going to call you. I mean, he is just on you, on you, on you. I was like, I know you can't get away from it. I mean, it is the biggest over communication. And I've had it with over communication, especially about something that just doesn't take a lot of communication. Yeah, I really am trying to talk to people less. Right. I'm trying to have less people in my life. Right.

I'm trying to limit interactions. And now this drives me insane. In my interior design career, I'll go to job sites and basically they bake the cake. I put the icing on it. They want to talk to me about the cake baking portion of the construction of the house. I'm not an expertise in that field. I know enough to be dangerous, but I just decide, look,

I want it to look pretty. You work out all the mechanics of all of this. I don't need a blow by blow of what you're doing. I don't want to see your ass crack. Get your cigarette out of your fucking mouth while you're talking to me. I've had it. Stop it. Quit hiking up your pants. Can you come here? And they hike it up. Cigarette hanging out of the mouth. It's just, it's enough. It's enough. Enough. I'm with you. I don't.

Want to communicate with people. I want to work smarter, not harder. I want people to do what I hire them to do with little communication as possible involved in that. Especially when the directions are as clear as the nose on my face. I just, I don't know why we have to go so many details on a subject I can't add to. I have no help.

Just like, I mean, you know enough to be dangerous about building a house. I don't know shit about Christmas lights. I know they're on a timer. You plug them in. That's it. Why is my input necessary? I mean, I think maybe what you do in this situation is just start, I mean, just start counter, just start responding. So what kind of clamps are you going to use? Why are you going to use those clamps?

Why do you think? Do you think you screwed up the lights? Do you think that was part of the installation that made half of them go out? Or do you think that's a light defect? Do you think the lights were made in China or the United States of America? What do you think about trade policy with the United States and China? What do you think about that? Are you a Trumper? Do you think Trump's going to fix it? Do you think he had something to do with these lights? Or do you think it's the deep state? And then just keep going. I mean, and just say, look,

Buddy, I got all day. You want to be a guest on I've Had It podcast? Let's do a whole episode about installing Christmas lights. You win. I'm not surrendering to fascism, but I'm surrendering to you. Let's talk about it all day. I got nothing but time, buddy. That would be the best idea I've ever heard. Yeah. Maybe then he'd run away and hide from me. Yeah. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with stupid people. Right. As evidenced by the example you just gave.

But also, I noticed on Instagram that there was a MAGA person celebrating the results of the November 5th election. And they wrote, they had a sign up that said, congratulations, President Trump, number 45, number 46, number 47. Here's the thing. He's not 46. No, he's not. Quit being stupid.

Quit being a dumbass. If you want to be a Trumper and just say, I don't give a shit. I'm all about having sex offenders in the cabinet. I'm all about having convicted felons run the country. I'm a nut. I'm completely crazy. I am unhinged. I am a psycho. Don't be a dumbass. Right. Separate the stupidity from the crazy. I would respect that.

If you just want to say, look, I'm a piece of shit and I vote for pieces of shit and I kind of want pieces of shit to run the country and blow it up because fuck it. I'm only here once. Do it. Own it. Bask in that. Bathe in that. But don't try to hoodwink everybody that he was the 46th president of the United States. You're dealing with smart people here. Right. At this podcast, we're smart people. We're not. That's not going to happen on our watch. I've just had it with that breathtaking experience.

stupidity just for the sake of being stupid. Much to my surprise, it had tens of thousands of likes from other stupid people.

If you want to be a crazy Trumper, swing for the fences. Trump hump, get your Bible, buy all of his grift shit, get your sneakers on, you know, have Bible studies with the Trump Bible, be unhinged as psycho, all get out. But don't sit around and be a stupid liar. Yeah. You know, what's interesting about that whole thing when you were saying that is Trumpers and Republicans say Democrats are elitists.

And they want to talk about how smart they are. And it's like, but then you just serve up on a silver platter, something that's so objectively

It's like, of course we're going to fall into that trap because you make it too easy. Well, and I'm just going to say quit. Democrats don't say, oh, we can't be so smart. We can't be elitist. I'm going to say, you're goddamn right. I'm an elitist. Because look at the people you put in charge. We value expertise. We want experts to be in charge of the departments, not sex offenders. Call us elitist. Call us crazy. But whatever. I mean, you know, I mean, just like...

Democrats fall into this trap. And so I'm saying, if valuing expertise and educated people makes me an elitist, then so what? If caring about other people and poverty and human rights and racism and all of these things make me woke, call me woke. Get over it. I mean, I'm not just going to sit around and be triggered by what a bunch of dumbasses say about me. Had it. Had it. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kathy, what's going on on the web?

I've got a five-star review for you. Excellent. This one is from Shiny and Bright Shades for Most. Five stars. And they write, Finally a podcast with the same twisted sense of humor I love. Unapologetic honesty, no sugarcoating needed. Amazing funny creative two who sound like me and my best friend of 30 years fueled after two margaritas and nine shots of tequila.

I can't help but turn to this escape dealing with a divorce and managing my own chaotic house with kids and a man challenging two nine-year-old girls in the game of who is more dramatic, petty, and immature. He always wins. But it's nice of him to include them and engage in play. So thank you for being not everyone's cup of tea and my favorite shot of tequila to laugh, giggle, and smile. Do not stop. And no, I will not play pickleball with you two, but I will keep listening.

Is she saying that we sound like we're hammered? Yeah. Did it sound like she thinks she'd have to be drunk to talk like we do is what I took from it. It was a very sweet. Very sweet. Very sweet five-star review, which at this point, I'm just going to say we've earned. Okay. Especially the twisted. We get up every day and humiliate ourselves on the airwaves. So I'm going to say we've earned it at this point.

But I believe the statement was, they remind me of me and my best friend after a couple of margaritas and nine tequila shots. That's what I took from it. Like, you could only behave the way we behave if your shit face struck. You know what I think they call that?

An underhanded compliment to which I say, thank you. Yes, thank you very much. And I just want to say, I feel for her on the out dramatic daughter, because I have the single most dramatic human in the history of the world is my daughter. And it's...

trying at best. Okay, who's next? Okay, I've got one more five-star review from SaltyPants2 titled, It Just Gets Worse, But... And they write, I still have you two lunatics. I've had it with just about everything this past week, but realize I can still come here and laugh. Kind of like misery loves company. So yeah, thanks for being my ride-or-die podcast during this hellscape period. Caw, fucking caw. I like it. That's right. I like that.

That's right. We're not going to do this limp dick cacaw that we did in the week after the election. That was pathetic. We're back. We're back. We are fucking back. If you want our First Amendment, giddy up. Come giddy up, cowboys. Come get it. Until then, we're just going to keep fighting the good fight. There will be no pre-surrender to that bullshit. You want to come take us off in bracelets? Do it.

Swing for the fences because you got to get both of these wrists together. That's right. Can't do it. I just want to bring it. Can I just bring up one thing? Yeah. So we had a live show in New York city this last weekend. And Jennifer, I want to ask you, how many people did we meet that said in a shocked, shocked manner? Oh my gosh, you're actually pretty. I'm glad that you brought this up because I had forgotten. So listener, as you all know, um,

You see us every day on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, whatever. And I never really see in the comment sections of that like, oh, you guys look great today. No. It might be like a cute outfit or too much Botox today, ladies. Or here's the old hags again. The Botox bimbos are back. Stuff like this, right? Which we're fine. Whatever. I don't care. Great for the engagement of the post. Yeah.

When we are live in person, we do this VIP meet and greet. I would say at least 85% of the people in the line walk up and their jaw hits the floor. They go, wow, you guys are actually really pretty. And it's not like, oh my God, you guys are so beautiful. It is beautiful.

Shock and awe, which leads us back to several things. Number one, we're horrifically un-telligenic. I mean, just like maybe the worst case scenario of telegenic. Okay, so that's an option. Option number two is that Kylie and Seth have a hammered dog shit filter that they put on all of these viral videos. Right. Where they're rage baiting all these people out there.

And I think they must like make our Botox look worse. They make us look worse because the shock and awe when people see us in person, it makes me think, wow, we really look like shit on television. Right. I mean, they kept coming and it was like 10 in a row that said it. And Jennifer and I caught each other's eyes and we were like, fuck, we are un-telegenic. Or Kylie is a complete asshole.

I want to go with that. I want to go with Kylie and Seth are sabotaging the podcast from within. They are the enemy from within. Yes. Everybody's got one, apparently. Yeah. Not just Trump. I like it. Yeah. I just couldn't let that go unsaid. Okay. I have a couple of news stories that I would like to share with the listener.

This is in the same vein as I've had it with stupid people. And an estimated 23.2 million Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. That cannot be right. Study found that 48% respondents weren't sure where it came from. And 23.2 million Americans believe

Believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. A guy comments on this. And I mean, it's just a comment right out of my arsenal, right out of my playbook. He says, definitely MAGA Bible thumpers. He nailed it. That's exactly what I thought. I mean, that's just, just God, you want to call us elitist? Swing for the fences. We're not this fucking dumb. Let's start valuing our

Let's start valuing expertise. I'm not an expertise in Christmas light hanging, but I know who to call. Oh, I've got your guy. Yeah. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.

In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is...

Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.

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All you have to do is go to roe.co slash had it to find out if you're covered for free. That's roe.co slash had it. For boxed warning and full safety information, go to roe.co slash safety prescription only. All right. Another article from the news.

And this one says, after analyzing the birthdays of 10 million married couples in England, researchers found no evidence of attraction or compatibility based on astrological signs. What's sad is they have to do a research project and publish it for people to believe it. I have had it with the astrological sign bullshit.

I find it now an affront to my intelligence when somebody says, what sign are you? Oh, I knew it. Yeah. I knew you were a Leo. You know what I'm going to start doing when somebody asks me what sign I am? I'm going to start lying and saying I'm an Aquarius. I guarantee you I'll get the exact same results as I would if I told them my normal sign.

Okay, I'll start saying I'm a Leo because I am an Aquarius and you start saying you're an Aquarius and we'll see what the different responses are. I feel like we just had somebody talking about astrological signs the other day and we were both just like, we don't buy into that. The problem with what you just said, our plan, our scheme that we just hatched, we're airing it. Yeah.

I don't think which is just a prime example of how incompetent and stupid we are, which goes back to my had it. I've had it with stupid people, which means I've had it with us. All right. I think we've had enough of the news. Kylie, what do you have in store for us today? We have voice memos today. Yay. OK, first, we've got Mary Grace.

Hey, y'all. This is Mary Grace. And this is a new I've had it of mine. I recently moved to Atlanta as a legal professional. And I just need to say personal injury attorneys are the most unserious people on the fucking planet. Wow.

What makes them think that me seeing a billboard of them in boxing gloves bursting through a brick wall or something is going to convince me to let them handle my settlement money?

Let me just look up at this billboard, dial 1-800-666-OUCH and let whatever goose egg fucking goober on the other end, probably drenched in hair gel and wearing novelty socks, handle my devastating bodily injury. Great fucking plan. Get a grip.

Be a man. Take that fucking billboard down. You are a disgrace to the legal profession. All right. Sick of that. Had it with those fucking billboards. You know, I agree with her, but I also really want to see meat curtain. Meanwhile, legal take this same type of marketing approach. So like I should be on a billboard, like coming out of a vagina, like jumping out of a vagina. Is that what you're thinking?

Is that where your head goes? I mean, that's what I'm thinking. That's where your head went. And I'm just here to say I support it. Yes, that's exactly what we do. Yeah. In Trump's America, we launch meat curtain, meemaw, legal eagle law on the billboard. You're coming out of vagina. And then you say, having a problem getting an abortion? Meat curtain, meemaw.

I could have like an eagle on my head too, like an eagle costume. Yes. And it could be 3D. I'd want it to be 3D. Okay. No, no, no. Here's what we do. We have you coming out of a vagina and an eagle coming out of an egg.

Ooh, I like that. See, that's the creative part of this. Do you remember when she was talking, it reminded me, do you remember when our kids were little, we had that law firm that both lawyers would jump into the pool completely dressed and say, call us. And then they'd jump in the pool.

Totally clothed. And I always thought, who fucking calls these guys? But then I found out a lot of people do. As bad as what she's making it sound like and as crazy as it sounds and unserious as it sounds, I have read research that supports those kind of ads get people in. Oh, yeah. So meet Kurt and Meemaw coming out of the vagina, eagle hatching out of an egg.

I'm probably going to set the world on fire. I really think in Trump's America, there's going to be people that are denied abortion care. They're going to be denied birth control. This is your angle right here. And especially branding it from the source of all of these things straight from the vagina. It works. And it can be like straight from the vagina's lips. Meemaw legal.

I'm telling you straight from the meat curtains. Straight from the meat curtains. You're an abortion care attorney. That's right. I can do all kinds of reproductive freedom, IVF. I can just be the vagina girl.

The meat curtain girl. The meat curtain girl. All right. That was fantastic. Kylie, what's next? I was going to say, at one of our live shows, we had a fan who made her own shirt, and it was disgusting. It was curtains made of meat, like raw meat. I remember this. And pumps was coming out of it. And I had posted it in a carousel. And we had so many dead serious comments of like, oh, my God, I love your new merch. I love it.

You know, it's funny. I wore that shirt the other day to pick up my dog. And somebody said, I like your shirt. I mean, I'm telling you, this is what America needs. Yeah. The eagle coming out of the egg. You coming out of the vagina. We have merch. Going crazy. I mean, just...

I wonder if we can make the billboard have a sound. Yes. Why not? Why not? We can do anything. I really, when you promise me it'll be 3D, I just really want my head to be. I think it's a video wall, an LED type. You know what? What's that thing in Vegas called? The sphere. That. That.

That's where it needs to be. And I could be like, it could be like the vagina opening and me coming up. Yes. And it goes, ca-caw, ca-caw, ca-caw. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yeah. Kind of like Khaleesi Game of Thrones meets Trolls.

trashy legal commercial meets our brand of I've had it. You could come up kind of like the Statue of Liberty, but you're holding like an eagle in one hand and like birth control pills in the other. You know, I just I think there's so much. And then and then there could be like all of these Trumpers, like all this fighting. What is it? UFC fighting or boxing? Yeah.

Then we can make an AI video of you beating up like Mike Johnson, Ted Cruz, but kind of like sexually charged beat up. Right. Maybe like even a dominatrix thing. Yeah. Like they're all whipped and bound. And yeah, I like it. This just gets better. Yeah. Yeah. See, listener, there's hope. There is hope. There's hope. Okay. Up next, we've got someone with the username Quanah6. Okay.

Hello to my favorite tag team of trouble and their lesbian sidekick. I should say lovely lesbian sidekick. My God, how are we going to get through the holidays? I have already said I would spend the holidays Thanksgiving with my crazy ass family that wears the MAGA hats. What did I do? I agreed to this before the election.

I need you guys to walk me through it. How am I supposed to get through it? I want to go shit in their pool. I want to go clog their toilets. I want to take cat litter as my side dish with cat turds in it. I want to get violent. I need you to walk me through it because I have had it with these motherfuckers and I don't know how to proceed. What am I going to do? Tell me what to do.

I mean, this is like this is a problem all across the country. And, you know, it's it's different for me when people vote for Trump. It's different than a vote for like a McCain or Nikki Haley or whatever. This is like I mean, there's a cruelty to it. There is a distinct appetite for Trump.

injuring and picking on people. And they say, oh, the price of bread and all that. That's just cover. They use that as cover so they don't have to say, listen, at the end of the day, I'm a big Bible thumper and you're going to hell. I would imagine if you're a gay person, going home to your family that voted against your rights is really disturbing, especially after you see that Trump appointed

Matt Gaetz, who called gay people despicable. And that should be disqualifying. That type of language should be disqualifying, but they all like it. And so I don't know. I don't know how you get through that. I don't know. I mean, I fortunately don't have that problem. My parents are really open-minded and my friends are, but I think Pumps has that problem. Yeah, I do have that problem. And

Luckily for me, I have allies in my family that will also be there. But I think for me, I'm just going to plaster a smile on for a couple hours, leave, exhale, and be done. Because if I had other ideas, I would tell you. But that's the only thing that has come to mind so far, although I'm really excited.

leaning towards the cat litter dish. That is excellent. It's excellent. And I kind of like the stopping of the toilet because you can't really prove that was on purpose. Yeah, I like all that too. But let me ask you this. Does it like, because I don't have this with my parents and you have it with your parents. And I think that there's, this is a big thing going across America right now.

Do you feel because of this disparity, moral disparity? Do you feel some distance or like maybe they don't really know the authentic you, that there's a superficial nature and role that each person is playing that's superficial when you go to these things that you can't really share? You were devastated. You were inconsolable for five, seven days. And you can't tell your parents about that.

Because they'll want to be like, you know, minimize your feelings. So what does that do to the relationship? Oh, I don't think there's any question that it causes distance. And it adds a layer of superficialness that you otherwise would hope not to have in a relationship. But it's so deeply felt for me and the hurt and the closed-mindedness.

It's such kind of a character flaw issue for me that if I really sit down and think about it, it would make me not even want to go. Right. But...

You know, it's something I have to make a conscious choice to have a superficial yet distance news, weather, sports type relationship. But I don't think there's any question that it absolutely affects relationships. Yeah, I think, caller, I think that, you know, when think about being around a Trump or like being around an alcoholic, and they say when you're around somebody that's active in their addiction, you're

Exactly what pumps just said you talk about news weather sports, so you can't talk about news, right? So you just go to weather and sports. That's it. And you're just going to have to accept the way pumps has this is a there is a major component of superficiality in this relationship.

And I'm going to go. I'm going to play my role. I'm not going to be provocative. And I'm going to leave. Now, there are some of you that are listening that are probably like, fuck that. That is something I'm not going to do. We have a friend and he messaged Pumps and me. And his dad was just a total dick to him via text message and was basically like,

Gay people aren't the only people that need rights. This man is gay and they just had, they have a new baby. They're married. They're gay, married, and they have a baby darling little baby girl. And I could see how much it hurt him. Yeah. And I think if your parents are dicks about your civil rights and about your human rights and they're abusive and dismissive, draw a boundary and protect yourself. You know, if, if, if it gets to a place where people are abusing their,

and minimizing your beliefs and you know you're on the right side of history. You know, as sad as it is, I mean, that's the result of Trumpism. And I know that our friend, you know, he's really sad about this, but he has a wonderful loving husband, a beautiful little girl, and support of millions of people that think it's bullshit the way MAGA marginalizes marginalized people. Right. And you have to get a family...

Your family of origin, you're always going to have, but you get to choose with love and friendship your family as you grow as an adult. And that, you know, you just have to be really careful about that, I think. Yeah. So I think there's two roads that you can go down, caller. You can go down if these people are not abusive towards you outwardly. You can go...

scratch out news, weather sports, limited time, 45 minutes an hour, and then hit the road. But if they are abusive and dismissive and passive aggressive about, you know, human rights, civil rights and things, then I say you just have to draw a line and not subject yourself to that kind of abuse.

I agree. And if they're like MAGA thumpers just flexing the whole time, fuck that. Don't be around that. That's insanity. And then you're just being around toxic, stupid people. As I pointed out in my hat it where they write, congratulations, President Trump, number 45, number 46, number 47. Right. Just like...

Bravo, America. Great job. Yes, let's go ahead and KO the Department of Education while we're at it. That's definitely what we need to get rid of the most. Dipshits. Listener, Pumps and I recently upgraded our toilets and we added the Tushy bidet. And I'm telling you guys, this...

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All right, Kylie.

Okay, next we've got Grant D. I have had it with gay guys who claim to be on the DL, on dating apps who won't send a photo of their face when I ask them to, yet they ask to see mine so aggressively. It's like, no, just, mm-mm.

Like, dude, I'm gay. You're on a gay hookup app looking for dick. You're gay too. If I'm going to hook up, I'm going to see your face and you're going to see mine. So just send the damn photo already and quit being a pussy about it. Just because I don't see your face doesn't make you any less into dick than you already were when you downloaded the app. I've fucking had it. Okay. I'm with this guy on this. I agree. And here's what I think.

I think the gays need to expand the gay agenda and it needs to expand to include outing all of these MAGA slash married slash heterosexual. And I say in quotes, heterosexual people that are on these dating apps that have a little pretty wife.

and little pretty kids, and then, like he said, are gay. Right. They're clearly gay, and they won't, they don't, you know, put their face out there. Because

The gay agenda has been remiss in dealing with this. Right. I mean, it's, you know, it's like go to Sunday school and from the church pew, you're texting on the gay hookup act. But do you remember that guy? He was some evangelical preacher who was big anti-gay and it was in Colorado, I think.

And it comes out that he's, you know, having all this gay sex, sniffing poppers all the time. And here's the thing. I don't give a shit about sniffing poppers and gay sex. Correct. It's not my business. Right. What I care about is exactly what our caller is talking about, which are these men that try to say, oh, I'm not gay. And this guy's like, no, you are. Right. You're doing the exact same thing that I am, which you're doing gay stuff, right?

On a gay website, you might not be out and you might be the biggest lying liar in the heterosexual world, but you're gay. And so I just think that women need to be super choosy and not sleep with MAGA men. And I think gay men need to quit sleeping with MAGA men. Here's the deal. Okay. Switching gears on that. On the dating app, Not Showing Your Face.

Don't you think that if you don't show your face, it's kind of a catfish or am I taking it too far?

No, it's I know exactly what he's talking about. Because when I was younger, I remember being like when these gay dating apps came out, it was a gay friend's house for dinner. There was like 10 gay men in me. And I'm like, I want to see this app. Open it. I want to look. And so I'm looking through and a lot of people are photographed from like the neck down and it kind of gets their torso like right to their, you know, pubic hairline or whatever. And

And I'm like, why? Why don't they show their face? I'm like, oh, they're probably quote unquote straight. Got it. And so when you see like the Moses Mikes, the Josh Hollies, the Ted Cruz's, all these people that do all this anti-gay stuff, I think either number one, they could be gay or number two, they might have watched porn and gotten more excited about a penis than

than they did about the woman that maybe bisexuality turn on might be more widespread than what we think in this binary world where you're either hetero or homo. I think that a lot of men have probably watched porn and gotten excited about the man's role in the porn. And then they're like, oh, shit, I'm a pussy. That's so gay, blah, blah. So then you see all this outward bash,

at gay men when really the whole porn or whatever they're watching was erotic and a total turner and they can't say, yeah, the guys were all in that kind of even turned me on. Right. Okay. That explains it. And so they do. There's, that's why there's this whole, you know, psycho anti-gay world because men can't just admit that like we can admit women can say a woman can walk in like, oh my God, she's gorgeous. What a figure, what a body, right?

Rarely do men say, oh, my God, man, that guy is so good looking because they feel like they would be gay if they said that. And really, there's nothing gay about it. You're just – so what if it is kind of gay? Right. So what if us saying that, you know, oh, my God, Kylie walked in. She looks so drop-dead gorgeous today. Maybe we're Les-ing out for the moment. Who cares? Right. Les out for a moment. But, you know, I agree with that caller, these straight –

And I say that in quotes, straight men, out them. A hundred percent. Out them. It's Trump's America. Let's just go crazy. Fucking go. Okay. Up next is Elizabeth. Hey, spunky ladies. This is a message for all the gay triots, patriots and patriots all the way from Australia. I've managed to finally unfurl myself from the fetal position to send you this message and tell you what I've had it with.

What I've had it with is fucking Americans. I mean, what the actual fuck is going on with you people?

It's now bloody obvious that Americans shouldn't be trusted and shouldn't be allowed to vote in US elections. That should be left to the rest of the world. I mean, what the fuck were you all thinking? Because of the bullshit that you've pulled, we're now suddenly talking about abortion here in Australia. And fuckwits over here are doing Nazi shit and repeating stupid Trump crap. Thanks a fucking lot. Thanks for nothing. You had one frigging job and now the entire world is fucked. Fuck.

Anyway, so Jen, Angie, Kylie, when you come to Australia, you're more than welcome to come and live with us. My wife and I in our small country town, we've got a beautiful house. There's plenty of room for all of you. And we may or may not be building a bunker. Anyway, America, get your fucking shit together. Anyway, love to you all from the land of Australia. Bye.

I mean, I'm sorry, world. Like, it's just, I can't wrap my head around the embrace of stupidity. Like, okay, speaking of Australia, do you remember that Australian breakdancer that went viral at the Olympics? Yes, at the Olympics, yes. And then she was posted and posted and posted and people liked it. She was a terrible breakdancer. Terrible. This is Trumpism. Yeah.

He is a meme. He is that Australian breakdancer that you can't stop watching, that then you end up kind of liking because they're putting your face, you're putting your face. And it depends like if you're way down the political rabbit hole like we are in reading into the policy implications of his ideas, then you're terrified. But if you're just trafficking on YouTube and you seem to do the double jerk off dance,

Over and over, like we saw the Australian breakdancer, you think, oh, fuck it. Yeah, I'll vote for him. He's kind of a meme. He's kind of a vibe right now. And that's what he is. We elected the Australian breakdancer. Oh, my gosh. That is a great, great connection because you're 100% right.

It's far less dangerous for the Australian breakdancer. I ended up going, well, you know what? I kind of like her. At least she tried. Right. At least she got out there and did it. And she's proud of herself. I ended up falling for it. And she's not an expert. She's not a breakdancer. She shouldn't have been at the Olympics. It was bullshit from top to bottom. But my feed got lambasted with it.

over and over and over and over again that I finally even kind of like surrendered to it. And that's what I think happened with Trumpism. Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then finally we were like, fuck it, I'll vote for him. Right. No, that's great. I mean, that's really something to think about. Stick with me for more hot takes. I mean,

Sharpest tool in the shed, for sure. And love Australia, love the accent, love the offer to get in the bunker with her. So good. All right, listener. We have no shows planned right now. We're not traveling. We have a Patreon because we have a cult. We have therapy sessions in that cult. It's called The Blind Leading the Blind Cult. Yeah.

And we have a YouTube channel. We have another podcast where we talk about politics. Basically on that podcast, it comes out every day. It's called IHIP News. We rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic. Now 15, 20 minute by digestible episodes. Other than that, we're just clinging on for dear life. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw, caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw, caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw, caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

Honestly, we should have used a condom, but we got distracted. Honestly, there are things that everyone can do to help protect their sexual health. Talk to a health care provider to find out how you can take action and find out more at ownyoursexualhealth.com. Sponsored by Gilead.