Time to Wean off the Tit
14:08 Share

At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two-door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback that took you cross-country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool. For the cars you couldn't live without, trust Amica Auto Insurance. Amica. Empathy is our best policy. This always smells like pine. She said get out the chat room and clean mine. Hey!

The GLAAD girl group coming at you with a throwback jam. That was GLAAD Force Flex Drawstring Trash Bags featuring Pine Sol Original Scent. And that's better than all good. It's all GLAAD.

You know that trend about shopping only local produce? I didn't get it until I tried California avocados. They're picked at the peak of each season, so you know they're fresh. But they're not just fresh. They're fresh, ripe, and delicious. And I think it's because they're grown right here in California. That means grove to table. Literally. That's why the best avocados have California in them. California avocados. Now in season.

As if the McCrispy couldn't get any better, Bacon and Ranch just entered the chat. The Bacon Ranch McCrispy. Available at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Okay, listener. It's time for bonus content. And we asked you guys to send us DMs to our Instagram. And they have been coming in. So each Thursday...

We're going to pick, the producer Kylie is going to pick two or three DMs. Okay. And Pump, she's going to play them for us. Okay. And then we're going to free ball it. So have you heard them before? No. Okay. I'm lying. I have. We'd just like to keep it secret from you. Okay. All right. All right. But also, listener, we really, we need you guys to rate. What else, Pumps?

Review and subscribe. That's right. And follow. Oh, follow. Yes. Yeah. And then apparently our new producer that's joined the team, Kylie, who joined Jen and Neely, she knows how to get people all wound up on TikTok. Yeah.

And so they're going crazy over on TikTok about the baby talk. I'm shocked that anyone would admit that they baby talked, much less defend it. So on TikTok, the majority of these listeners are pissed at us, right? They're pissed off. Yeah.

And they are the baby talk defenders. Yeah. Of all the things you've said, this is the one that is really getting under their skin. I'm shocked. We've said so many offensive things. And they're pissed off that we don't like the baby talkers. And they're not even offensive. And here's the deal. I love it. I remain steadfast. Oh. In our commitment. Put a sock in the baby talk. Okay. Let's hear our first comment.

I've had it, damn. Okay, this one is from Cameo. Okay. Cameo. Cameo? The thing I've had it with is women, pregnant women, holding their bellies in pictures. I mean, come on.

Nobody cares. You're not the first to be pregnant. Get over it. Nobody gives a shit. It drives me to drink. I fucking love her. Love cameo. I mean, that's the best. Cameo. Okay. I totally agree with you. 100% agree. 100% agree with you. It is people making such a big deal out of being pregnant.

When literally half of the population and half of all species can do so and do so. And this kind of segues into the breastfeeders. Right. Which if you really want to go do like a deep dive on Instagram, you can Instagram the hashtag breast is best. And you would not believe. I mean, these people act like they discovered breastfeeding. And I'm like, listen up, Buttercup. All the mammals do it. Like it's not new. Right.

No, let me tell you a story I don't think I've ever told you. When I was a lifeguard in college, I would pump the brakes. Okay. You were a lifeguard? Yes. And a water safety instructor. I taught swimming lessons. Shut up. You would be such a terrible lifeguard. How did I not know this? Oh my God. Yes, I totally. I was really good. Why would you think I'd be terrible? Number one, I've gone swimming with you and you're a terrible swimmer.

That is such a lie. I was such a good lifeguard. Did you save a life? One time I had to jump in. But okay, that's not the story. Okay, we digress. Okay, go on. The story is I'm sitting because you only do 15 minutes at a time. So that was good for my ADD. You're up for 15, then you switch 15. Okay. So this woman is at the pool and there's a kid like eight years old, eight, nine.

Like eating. He has Doritos. I will never forget it. I know where this is going. He has Doritos, a bag of Doritos in his hand. Yeah. Walks up, rips his mother's bathing suit down and starts sucking on her boob. I was so grossed out. I thought I was going to die. I mean, I was like, literally, I couldn't sleep that night. It was so gross. Did you ever watch Game of Thrones? I can't get into it. You know that. And tell the listener why.

Because I can't understand what they're saying. You know they speak English. I know, but it's a weird English. So I have trouble following. And all the people look alike. Well, there's kind of this woman, and she has a son that's around eight or nine, and she's always breastfeeding him. See, that creeps me out. Yeah, it's really creepy. If you can chew a Dorito, you can drink regular milk. It's time to wean. Wean off. Wean from the tit.

So anyway, okay. Had it. Had it. Cameo, we have had it as well. That's a 10 out of 10 cameo. 10 out of 10. Who's next? We've got Shara W. Shara W. All right. This is what I've had it with. People that make comments on posts such as someone puts their dog that they have lost. Has anyone seen our dog?

And then one after another, people commenting, nope, nope, hadn't seen it, hadn't seen it. And then they make that person that's already grieving, every time their phone dings, they look at the comment and it says, nope. Just tell them when you freaking found the dog or you have spotted the dog somewhere. I've had it.

You know, that goes right into our group texting issue. There's no reason to comment no. It's rhetorical unless you've seen the dog. 100%. Yes. I agree. And here's just a fundamental problem. Facebook. Facebook.

You got all these wound up boomers on there, you know, that literally it's like bright, shiny object and they have like keyboard courage, you know, and they're just going bananas on Facebook. I got this guy that I'm Facebook friends with and he's post just, I mean, he's probably 65. His name's Dan. Okay. He lives in Edmond, Oklahoma, which is suburban Oklahoma listener. And like every 4th of July he gears up and he goes, Oh,

I love America. I love everything it stands for. And if you don't like it, you can get the fuck out. I'm like, well, okay, Dan. Dan's just out here kicking people out of the country from his Facebook headquarters in Edmond, Oklahoma. And it's just like, Dan, pull yourself together. I mean, seriously, nobody is going to leave the country without

Because of your post. It's unbelievable. But I know what was her name again? I know what she's saying because it's like a dagger. Yeah. And then it's just a twist. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Yeah, I love it. That's a great one. I would have never thought of that, but that's a great one. It is a really good one. Whatever you're into, you can find it in Knoxville. Or as some call it, fun for the whole family, including your dogville. And even paddle the river before chowing down on a tasty mealville. Start planning your trip to this nature-loving, adventure-seeking, artsy kind of town at visitknoxville.com. You ready for your next? Yeah, let's hear our next. This is one of my favorites. Oh, good.

This is from Jill B. Jill B. I've had it with worrying about seeing the new wife at my daughter's wedding this fall. I mean, that's a tough one, Jill B. That is a tough one. Here's the deal. You've got to make sure that you look better no matter what. If you have to go get Botox, a new outfit, you have to look so good just so that

She doesn't have anything over on you. I really empathize with you, though, Jill, because it's like, that's your daughter. Right. With that man. And then he's got to waltz in with the new wife. And you're going to be inhibited enjoying your own daughter's wedding because you're worried about seeing her. And I really empathize with that. Yeah, that's a tough, tough spot. You know, you're constantly...

still dealing with the person with whom you chose to breed. Right. If you get divorced, no kids, then it's done. You don't ever have to see him again, but the baby. Yeah. Once you have a baby with them, that's it. I remember one time we were on a trip with the kids when we were both married and I said to you,

I would fucking divorce his ass tomorrow, except someday his new wife is going to be prancing around with my kids on the beach on vacation. And it's going to piss me off. Do you remember that? Yeah. I mean, I was just like infuriated at the thought that the new wife would get my kids on vacation. Yeah. So...

Yeah, sharing. I mean, that's hard to share, especially like your daughter's wedding, where you want it to be perfect for her. So you don't want to bitch, but you know, the husband's probably like, make sure you include Mary Ann in all the stuff. Yeah. Don't you think? Oh my God, I just baby talked. How do you feel? How would you how do you have a daughter? Right. So let's say that your ex is

shows up with some hot number to the wedding. How do you feel about that? I would say, good luck, princess. You can have it. Take it. It's all yours. Take him around the block a few times. Take him around the block and keep him forever. All right. Who else do we have, Kylie? Our last one is from Lisa B. Okay. I have had it with people that get offended at every little thing that you say. Okay.

It doesn't matter what it is. They're always getting their feelings hurt, getting offended. Just for once, I wish that somebody that had a chip on their shoulder, it would be a Pringle, and I'd just eat that thing up.

I do think that people get way overly offended these days. I do too. And I think most people think stuff's about them and it's generally almost never about them. I think one reason that our friendship has worked so well is that we're both so thick skinned. Not sensitive at all. At all.

I mean, we're both incredibly thick skinned and I tend to surround myself with people that are thick skinned. And so when I'm around somebody who's really thin skinned, I'm horrible at it. And I have to babysit their emotions and they think I'm mad at them or they think I'm offended just because I'm a very, like, I, whatever I feel, I just say it. Whatever I think, I just say it.

And so when I have to walk around on eggshells, I am not operating at my best. No, I agree 100%. And I think probably we're too far on the other end of the spectrum. Yes. Like it takes a whole lot for me to get offended or have my feelings hurt. Like I can't even imagine what it would be. Yeah. But so, I mean, I think there's a happy medium. We're probably too far on that. But yeah, I think the selective outrage is...

And I do. I think you've tapped into something. I do think it's selective outrage. Right. And there's so much typical hypocrisy. People that get offended easily all the time. It's a very cherry-picked offenses. I mean, where they get offended. Like, when people are so overtly sensitive, I almost get mad. Yeah.

I do. I'm just like, quit being a pussy. Pull yourself together. Nobody else is mad. And then you have to kind of babysit the emotions. I do not. I am not very good. No, I'm not good at that at all. Okay. I just have to circle back to this lifeguard situation. Great. I taught like two to like 10 swimming lessons. I want to, I've never seen you properly swim before.

I'm a really good swimmer. I remember you doing like jazzercise at our last Mexico trip, like some kind of water aerobics with your vape hanging out of your mouth. But like actually swimming like laps. Yeah. No, I could do it. We'll go to the pool. I'm just going to tell you, listener.

You could blow me over with a fucking feather. I've been friends with this woman for 20 years. I'll be on a phone call with her. She's talk, talk, talking. And then all of a sudden I hear this dramatic crash. She's tripped over something in her house. She's screaming. I don't know. Should I hang up? Call 911. Do I stay on the phone? Did somebody, is there a home intruder? She just simply tripped over absolutely nothing. The fact that you were in charge of an entire swimming pool.

I've been to Mexico with you multiple times. I've swam with you multiple times. You've never struck me as a swimmer. I would never think that you could save my life. I would never think that you could save my children's lives if they were in a pool. I've been in situations where our children have been injured. You were the least helpful person in the room, hands down.

I have had to go apply pressure to your bleeding children and put band-aids on them multiple times. I almost pass out at the sight of blood. That's how useless you were. So this is a huge reveal in our friendship. We're going to go up to the club and I'm going to do laps. I can do it all. I can do the breaststroke, the backstroke. Butterfly. The butterfly. I mean, I'm just grace under fire. Well, I'll tell you what else we're going to do.

I'm going to throw myself in there and I'm going to start drowning. And then we're going to see if you can save me. Okay. The question will be, do I want to save you? All right, everybody. Thanks for tuning in to our bonus episode. Please DM at I've had it podcast things that you've had it with so that you can make one of our bonus episodes. We love to hear this shit. We can't get enough of it. It's fantastic. Send them in. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Bye.

I've had it. I've had it. I've had it. I've had it. All I can say about that is, I've had it. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two-door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback that took you cross-country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool. For the cars you couldn't live without, trust Amica Auto Insurance. Amica. Empathy is our best policy.

Always smells like pine She said get out the chat room and clean mine The GLAAD girl group coming at you with a throwback jam That was GLAAD Force Flex Drawstring Trash Bags Featuring Pine Sol Original Scent And that's better than all good It's all GLAAD