This is a Bad Idea, But...
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Nailed it. So happy. That smug face when you do a good clap is one of my favorite facial expressions that you make. Yeah, I get so excited. I know. And I've had some abysmal efforts of late. It's the little things. The small things. Yeah. Are what makes me happy. That's right. And it's a good thing. That's right. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I have fucking had it with. Ooh.

is automated customer service. Oh. It's the worst. How have we not discussed this? We've discussed all kinds of customer service, but I had a deal happen last night. I ordered groceries to be delivered. They were going to be delivered by 6. Then they sent me a text by 7. If that doesn't work for you, then call this number. So then at 9 o'clock, they said they'll be delivered between 11 and midnight. Okay.

And so I finally have to call the number and be like, dude, like, I'm not going to be able to put my groceries up. So they're going to have to come tomorrow. So I call the number. I go through 27 prompts. And then the automated system says, tell us what your problem is. Like reschedule delivery. I'm sorry, we didn't understand. Please tell us what the problem is. So then I just start saying representative representative. Yeah, well, then they disconnect me.

Yeah. I have to go through the whole circle jerk again. Finally, I just start saying, you told me to call you. I'm calling you because you told me to. Yeah. Anyway, I finally got it. It was a pain in the ass. I was on the phone for six minutes the second time, but I've just fucking had it with automated customer service. That's no service. And another thing, and this is just an aside.

Sometimes when you're waiting from talking to the robot to a live person, the music is totally bush. Oh, it's awful. Can we get some good music? Yes. It's like shrill. We just had to talk to a robot for 30 painstaking minutes. Yes. Screaming. Resting heart rate is going up.

you know, just a lot of added stress to what should just be a normal routine phone call. And then you put on this C-team at best music. Could we get some Beyonce music?

Could we get something a little bit more upbeat? But the music then just exacerbates the bad mood. And I've completely had it. Had it. We just like, I just want somebody to answer the phone and say, what's your problem? We talk about it for 10 seconds, then the problem's solved and we move on down the road. You know, recently I had to call a customer service department.

And a live human being answered it. And I presented what my problem was. They helped me troubleshoot it. And at the end of the call, I was so happy that I said to the customer service rep, I want to take a moment here and say thank you so much for answering the phone and helping me troubleshoot this problem. I think it was a Wi-Fi, wasn't it, Kylie, when we were up here on like a Saturday? Yes. And you were pleasant? Yes.

You were wonderful. It makes me feel happy to pay this company money because you all had the decency to have a live human being speak to me. I didn't have to hear wretched music or talk to an incompetent robot. I completely agree. It makes your experience better. And then they had the audacity after my 47 different prompts and robots and music and all that crap.

to say, do you want to take a survey? Had it not been so late, because it was like after nine at this point, I would have taken that survey and I would have flayed their asses. But luckily for them, I was too fucking tired. You love to take a survey. I love to get on a survey and just let it all hang out. That's just where a Karen like you, you just...

I thrive in a survey format. It's just you can just rage in the survey. Yeah, I do love my political survey. Yeah, I'm not a big survey taker. I just love to just put my little two cents in. Well, let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. This pertains to Josh, my husband. An unlimited quantity of had its. I've had it with the husband-

hijack of the woman's purse. What I'm talking about is not him carrying my purses. I'm talking about when we go to an event or an outing and I have downsized to a cute evening size bag. Okay. And I have credit cards, nicotine gum, maybe some sunglasses. And that's just about all I can fit in there. Right.

Josh will then hand me this laundry list of things that I need to put in my cute little purse that then makes it kind of like bulge out. Right. And it's like he's got sunglasses, eyeglasses, and he used to dip skull. So listener like in the South, men would dip of Josh's age would

dip chewing tobacco. And so he used to dip chewing tobacco. He no longer does that anymore. And he has these little packets that he puts in his mouth, nicotine packets called snooze. So there's snooze packets, there are eyeglass cleaning. He has individually wrapped eyeglass cleaning things, keys, his wallet. So the other night we go

And finally, I'm just like, okay. And I put it all in there. My purse is bulging. It just completely ruins everything. And he starts laughing. He thinks it's hilarious that I'm so put out. Well, we're at Roman's basketball game. And right as they're introducing the starting lineup, Josh is like, hand me my snooze.

And so not only do like, am I like all of a sudden, like just like at his beck and call with the items that he needs, he's trying to deprive me of applauding for my child as he's announced in the starting lineup. So I just sat there and I thought, I'm not giving it to him right now. I'm going to clap for my child. Did you just ignore? My child is important to me. Right. And his introduction is important to me. Yeah. So then he just escalates. If Josh's needs aren't met immediately. Yeah.

It is like... A toddler. Yes. And so... And then now he likes to do... So now we have... We add the narration to it, right? You know, he narrates it. Right. So my dad's sitting next to us. So he's like, hey, hand me that snooze. I ignore him. I clap for Roman. Then I reach over and I start fumbling through my purse trying to locate the snooze among the other 15 items that he had me stow in my purse. You have three items. He has 15 items. And then Josh says to my dad...

Yeah, Jennifer gets so irritated with me because I have her keep all of these things in the purse. See, look at her. See, look at how irritated she is. See, did you find it? Oh, yep, here it is. Here's my snooze. So we're narrating. So not only have we hijacked the purse...

We're narrating the torture that I'm going through where it's like right now, if I could just suffer in silence, that's the one consolation prize that you could give me here. But the fact that you're narrating the torture on top of it, it was just like twisting the knife even more. But I bet a lot of women out there can relate.

Absolutely.

Men need to carry their own purses. I agree. Loud and proud. Absolutely. I support it. Josh has like backpacks that he carries. But if we're going to like an event where they don't allow a large bag, then my stuff gets hijacked. And I just think then he needs to get a little purse. I agree. I was just sitting here thinking if anybody on the planet would love carrying a small little man purse, it would be Josh. I want to advocate for man purses everywhere.

across the board. I don't even want to put a gender on it. I want to advocate for purses for people. Everybody carry your own shit. Purses for people. Let's normalize purses for people. All people. Right. I agree. All genders, all sexual identities. Get your own purse. Carry your own shit. Don't burden other people with your shit. Completely agree. Complete autonomy when you have your own purse. We should start getting kids to carry purses.

Purses for people, including kids. We can put an asterisk. Right. Including kids. We should start a purses for kids line. If fucking Stanley Cup has a purse, why can't Josh have a purse? I mean, if it's good enough for Stanley, it should be good enough for Josh. But I do want to commend you on one thing. We've been traveling a bunch and I knew this about you, but I kind of forget.

See, I carry the same purse 24-7, 365. And then at some point during those 365 days, I might put it in an identical purse, but just a different color. It never occurs to me to change my purse. You are extremely good about purse changes. Thank you. You do really... I mean, even a little bag, a big bag, a different outfit bag, you do really, really good. So for him to hijack it, it's even...

It's worse. Thank you. Because you really put a lot of time and you do a great job of it. Thank you. Do you want to go on some more? No, thank you very much. I like my purses. I like my stuff in my purse. I don't mind one item. Right. But I have had it with the hijacking of my purse, which then makes me have to get items

Right.

Purses for people. Take the gender out of it. Take everybody carry their own shit. Everybody have their own purse. That's a great idea. I do not have a purse. Say you're part of the problem. That's why you're always losing your hotel key. You have nowhere to put it. Ana's my bag lady. I am Josh. You're Josh. It's kind of your Tony Hale. Josh is Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Right. Yeah. You're his bag lady. Yes. And I want to be the Veep. You deserve to be the Veep. Yeah. Yeah.

Does Ana get frustrated with you about it? I don't think so. Not yet. Not yet. It's still young love. They just took a lesbian Valentine's Day photo shoot. So we're still in the peak

love where you're delighted to have your lover's things in your purse. Let me carry your purse items for you. Oh, it's a pleasure. It's a pleasure. You feel more bonded that your stuff is touching each other. Right. Josh and I are way past that. I don't want our phones touching. Right. I don't want, I don't want his stuff contaminating my stuff. I don't want the narration, but I appreciate where you enjoy it, Kylie. That's some of the

peak relationship time right there. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Tell the listener what we like to call the podcast. Girl, please.

So, Anna, is she happy? Is it her pleasure to carry your stuff? I don't know if it's her pleasure. I'm going to ask her to start saying that, though, while it's young love. While it's my pleasure. I would really appreciate that. If my purse is really big, I don't mind so much. Right. And let me just explain this to you. Josh is a man of needs. Oh, my gosh. His needs are so high. But, listener, I have to tell you, I do love that man.

This is just relationship shit. This is just stuff that relationships are made of. Like you get, you go through the phase where you're in love and hardly anything they do bothers you. And then you get to the real relationship. You get to the nut cut and

And sometimes the nut cutting makes you want to cut nuts. But I don't do that, Pumps, because I'm on the high road at all times. Always. Where is she? Up here. Up on the high road. You might have to bring me a blanket. It gets chilly up there. I get so cold on the high road. Yeah. Okay. I've got some reviews and some comments for you. Okay. This is a five-star review titled Can't Have Enough. First and foremost, my apologies for the delay. Jen called out a few of us listeners for not leaving a five-star review.

I have not been able to because I use Amazon to listen to your podcast. Okay. But do not worry. I logged into Pumps Apple ID so that I could come here and leave you this five-star review. That's a great idea. Good for them. Good for them. I was wondering why a lot of our five stars were from Pumps, Pumps, Pumps. Yeah. Right. Now we know. Yeah. I gave out my password. All right. Now some hate comments. Okay. Oh, good. So Joyce commented on Facebook and she wrote,

Are people still paying attention to these old grannies? And which one of our listeners responded, obviously, since you're here leaving this comment. Oh, I like that. Joyce is kind of a granny name. Yeah, Joyce. That's of a generation where you know that Joyce is a granny. I want to point out that Facebook tells you when someone is a top fan and Joyce is a top fan.

On our Facebook account. She's a hate listener. She's a top troller. Yeah. Top fan. God, this whole Facebook thing just opens up a whole... I forget. It did. Last night, I just laid in bed and I was like, I have not dug in enough on Facebook. Okay. What's the overwhelming vibe of the comments on Facebook? Do they hate us, like us, or mixed? Really depends what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Like when you attack the mother's...

When you attack older people, people that are on Facebook, it really shows. They go bananas. They go bananas. What about when we attack Donald J. Trump? I don't put that on Facebook. Oh, that's smart, Kylie. It's curated a little bit. Oh, it's curated. We could do an experiment. I'll post one and see what happens. It'd really be kind of fun. I'll do that today. They will lose their mind. Yeah, let's do that today and report back. Go look and watch and let's all see what happens. Oh, it'll just be...

Live, laugh, love, Bible verse. You all are horrible, terrible people. I hope you die. It'll be mouth-like trigger city. Trigger city. All right. Kylie, what else do you have for us? So Seth picked out a couple of articles pertaining to baby names, some problems people are having. So this one's titled, I hate my baby's name. It's so terrible, I can't bring myself to say it.

So she said, after 13 hours of labor, our baby boy came into the world. I was drugged up, relaxing, and trying to recover when it turns out my husband bulldozed it, went and put the name even though they hadn't agreed on it. Oh. So she gets the birth certificate back to sign. And when I did, I saw his name was Chad Bo Smith. I had no say whatsoever whatsoever.

Now it's been a month. I've been avoiding saying his name. I call him Baby Bo, Boo, Baby. I can't bring myself to call this baby Chad. I also didn't post anything on social media because I hate the name.

I also feel like I'm disconnecting from this relationship because after all that my husband had watched me go through, I felt that I didn't matter. Am I overreacting? I have a two-part answer for that. Okay, let's hear it. I think overreacting about the Chad name. Like if you don't like it, just go change it. It's not that hard to go to the DMV and just change the birth certificate with a young child like that. So...

Not posting about your birth because you're so mad about the name. Eh, maybe no reaction. The fucking husband putting the name on the birth certificate without talking to her. That's bullshit. And that's probably not the only thing he's doing she doesn't know anything about. And that he doesn't care what she thinks about. I think that's a red flag. Yeah, and I do think when she got the birth certificate back. Here's the thing is...

is, shouldn't this woman have addressed it right then and there instead of being an after-the-fact victim of her husband on the internet? Like, why does it matter what everybody else thinks if she's overreacting, where if the name is not

good enough for her and she didn't like it. Why not say, Hey, you fucking bamboozled me. I was strung out on drugs. I just pushed this baby out. I'm not calling my kid, Chad, full stop. We're going to change the name. But instead it's, she can't say the baby's name. We have all of these symptoms because of her inability to advocate for herself. And then, then always it ends up on Reddit and then inevitably it ends up on, of course, a podcast like ours. And

But I think the larger lesson here is advocate for yourself. You just push the baby out. You pick the baby name. If your husband digs you over on that, say, tough titties. We're not calling him Chad. I think it's a dumb name. And I'm changing the name to Bo. You can pick the middle name and then we're moving on down the road. But all of the, I can't call the baby his name. I can't post a picture of my baby. I don't think Chad's a bad name. Oh, Chad's awesome.

awful it's like a stereotype now oh it is like a Chad he's like a bro I just every time I think of Chad's I think about the 2000 election yeah I do too that's exactly what I thought yeah Florida yeah Kylie you were probably not born what year 2000 I was born Bush v Gore I was five

Five. You're in kindergarten. Yeah, not to brag, but I am much, much, much younger than I was. I know you are. You're much younger than us. All right. Do we have anything else? That's it. All right. So let's move along to the guest portion of this episode. Pumps, we have today an Emmy award-winning television host and executive producer. I'm so excited to meet her. I really like her on TV. All right. Let's welcome to I've Had It podcast, Tamron Hall. Hi.

Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women?

If so, please go to I've had it podcast.com or to any social media site. I'm talking X, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, et cetera, and click the link in bio and come see us at the hot shit tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the hot shit tour. Right pumps. Tell them it's so fun. We hope to see you there.

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Tamron, how are you today? I'm fantastic. How are you? Great. Well, Tamron, I don't know if you know what we like to traffic in over here at this podcast. Oh, I know.

And I love it. We like to be petty grievance warriors here and kind of get off our chest all of the stuff that we've had it with. So can you tell us what you've had it with? I've had it with excuses of why something didn't get done. That's a great one. We haven't talked about that. That is a fantastic one.

Had it right there. The excuses for not getting something done. I am so much more receptive if I say, hey, did you get that done? And the person looks me straight in the face and says, I completely forgot my bad. I'm going to get on it right now. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. But when it's, well, I was running late and then my mom called and then this happened and then that happened instead of just owning everything.

your mistake because we all make them. And I think we all give grace so much easier if it's rooted in honesty, but the excuses are infuriating. You know, it is, it's for me, a couple of things. In fact, we have an upcoming show on how busy is the new humble brag. Totally. All show on it. And, and we, we, there's another term it's called, um,

action addiction where you feel like you have to be busy, busy, busy all the time. And so what I feel, it's the desire to want to appear so busy that you don't do the things that need to be done. And so for me, if you have the discipline of priority and order, if you have the discipline of ownership,

when a mistake is made, whether you are the receiver of the mistake or you are the person whose mistake is causing things to run into a muck. I think that's so important. I am trying myself to be quite honest with you. It's,

to put busy to the side and put prioritizing things up front. I also think people need to stop narrating that they're busy. If you're busy, you shouldn't have time to narrate it. You're too busy doing your things to brag about it, to flex about it or talk about it. We've even done an episode on it. We call them the faux busy braggers.

I, listen, we have a woman coming up as a guest. She's a mom. And my heart went out to her because she found herself lying about being busy to keep up. I know it sounds crazy to keep up with her other mom friends. Right. She felt that she didn't have enough on her calendar. And so when people, you know, would have lunch together, everyone's saying, I've got this, I've got this, I've got that. And she felt like the loser when in fact she was just managing her time effectively, or maybe not overscheduling herself and her kid. But

it played such a mind trick on her. And while we are so obsessed with keeping up with the Joneses, as they used to say, she felt the need to lie about her schedule.

because having a schedule that was reasonable wasn't good enough, she felt in her circle of friends. That's crazy. I'm kind of the opposite when my kids were little. Like if we were around a group of moms and the mom would say, oh, you know, my child doesn't watch TV and we sit on the floor and play puzzles and we do homeschool. And I just would think to myself,

What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, I can't get my kid in front of the TV fast enough. Like, I need a way for my kid. My kid does better if we're not together all the time.

The time. But you see this whole culture of, well, my kid's the smartest kid or my kid's the best athlete. And it's kind of like as they get older, the one that's selling you their kid all the time, you know from your kid that their kid's not the best person to be around. They may be the most high achieving, but they're not that nice of a person. Okay. Before...

we had you on, we were emailing with you and here's some things that's been a couple of weeks. So I want to refresh your mind of what was irritating you a couple of weeks ago, because I related to all of these Tamron. The first one is if I responded to you by saying, I hear you, but maybe you should try again. Yeah.

The I hear you, but part. I will shut down. I don't like it because if you're, if you're having a conversation with me, I know you can hear me. And I figured you're going to say something back, right? You're going to say, yeah, well, when, you know, Skippy went to second grade, I found this work. Not I hear you, but it's like, it's, it's a weird HR pivot that people somehow have, uh,

adopted or adapted into normal conversation. It is an HR thing. And that clearly means we've all been in HR for some reason. And if we can not back that another day, then we all know this line. But I think it's much like, you know, I've interviewed people for 30 years and I can always tell when someone

says, well, can I just say something? And I say, well, the time you spent to tell me, can I just say something? You could have said it. So that means you have time. So that means it's stalling.

That's a stall. Can I just get a word in? Well, you just, can I just get a word? You just did. Yes, that's a great point. That is a great point. It's a stall tactic. Do you think that I hear you when somebody says that, is it, to me, sometimes I feel like it's kind of dismissive.

To me, listen, it's a weird thing that's in the culture. I get how it uses it as a pivot. I don't think people need it in most cases to be malicious. I do think some people are dismissive when they say that. But for the most part, I think it's like...

My mother, when I was a journalist in Texas, you know, the anchors would toss to me and I'd go, hey, guys, I'm out in front of, you know, the Texas State Fair. You won't believe the lie. And my mom would call and go, they're not guys. Mitch Hill's a woman. Why are you saying, hey, guys? And I would say, well, that's just how, you know, she's from a different generation. She's like, no, that's a woman in a man. Hey, guys. And she thought it was too casual and cavalier. I think it's just a casual way of.

Having a conversation that to me is annoying. It's just annoying. Okay. Here's another one that Pumps and I have been friends for well over 20 years. And here's one that we've said to each other multiple times. And it is, I know this is a bad idea, but...

It drives me crazy. It drives me crazy. I have to tell you, Tamron, we are total offenders. One time we were conducting a reconnaissance trip on her ex-husband and she said, I know this is a bad idea, but will you go stake out his office with me and we can back into this parking lot across the street and see what's going on. And I'm like,

That's a, not only is that a bad idea, I think it's a great idea. It's so bad it's good. That's right. That's right. Nobody, we, we're one of these people, we both can rile each other up into bad ideas and we'll start it with, I know this is a bad idea. We laugh and kind of marvel at it now because we think, God, one of us could have talked the other one off the ledge, but we didn't. We doubled down on the other person's crazy. Right.

Oh, no. And I have a dear friend, Georgia Foy, who is in Texas right now. We have very similar stories. The difference is neither of us started out with I know it's a bad idea. And we have a couple that involved. I am for all of my friends. I think they would universally say I am the 3 a.m. call. I'm the get her done call. And I'm I'm going to do the recon work. I'm going to bypass.

password, whatever we need to do. I'm that person. And that's why it's funny that I went into crime reporting and investigative journalism because that is my sweet spot. But yes, going to the court, the reason why it's annoying for me, I find that

if I can just be very honest, and we are in an honest space here, that women leaders do it more often than men. And I think it's a way of shrinking ourselves down or being afraid of being told that it's not a good idea. And it's something that I've talked to a lot of the young women that I mentor. I think it's a self-deprecating tool that buffers someone believing that the idea is not great. So I

I love that example that you gave in personal life and it's fun, but when I'm in a work environment and a brilliant woman, you know, says to me, I know this is a bad idea, but you know, I know that's a great, you're exactly right. You're the leader of this team. You are, you know, and I, and I don't want,

other women to, especially on my show, to accept that as a way we have to communicate. You don't have to go in and say, I know this is a bad idea. It's a think tank, right? And I don't see a lot of men, and I have not seen a lot of men lead with, I know this is a bad idea. I think it's internal. I think we all suffer from, we're Gen Xers, and I think that we all suffer from a little bit of...

internalized misogyny and sexism from being raised to where women are hard on themselves even. And we even, in our subconscious words and behaviors, we become deferential. And it's something like the whole idea of eternalized misogyny and internalized sexism that I'm very interested in because I definitely see it with my parents' generations.

And then I definitely see it in me some, and I'm trying to be better, but I think this is a prime example of how we can, it's a way to kind of, especially if you're at a table with men, it's a way that you think you're deferring to their ego by going ahead and taking the ball and demeaning yourself a little bit. And I've probably done this multiple times. I run a business and I think this is a really important conversation to have of, of,

around women and the words we choose and talk about ways to modernize and whatever that modernizing looks like. I think it talks about, you know, finding our positioning more on equal footing with any other gender on the planet.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Pumps, I have found therapy to be such an instrumental part of adulthood. It helps me be a better business owner, a better friend, a better mother, and a better person. Most of all, it helps me live inside my brain with a lot more serenity.

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Remember to start your day off with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magicspoon.com slash had it and use the promo code had it to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring our episode. Now, before we go further, I want to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it.

Queen Bey Beyonce. Hit it. She's just made the first black woman to get a country music song at number one. Yes. And you're both from Texas, which I think is really cool. We're both Virgos. Yeah. Yes.

No, she's a queen. I mean, that's why they call her Queen B, because she is a queen. I mean, like nobody can do what she does. No, no, I don't think anyone can. And I think that the country music genre, which obviously included people of color long before this moment. That's right. And it's fun to see. I'm a country music fan because I have to tell you, some of the most badass women in the world have been country music singers. Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton.

And so it doesn't matter your race or where you're from. Those are just universally. If you put those people's pictures up, the world says that's a badass woman. Crystal game. Tammy Wynette goes on and on. Tamron, what did you think about Dolly Parton in the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader uniform at 80 years old? She fucking killed it.

Jesus wept that day. Because that greatness came out there on that stage. I've had a chance to interview Dolly many times. She gave me the best advice before any show, pee and pray. And I'm going to tell you, that moment was absolutely like that. It's not goals because of the physicality of it, because she looks good and she's admitted that she's had support and work and all that.

It's goals because you don't let anyone limit you. And as women, and as I'm now over 50, it's a work in progress every day to allow yourself, whether you're a mom or not, because my motherhood and my womanhood are not the same. They're two different journeys for me. But having this ability to step out on faith and out of the box is why I think it was a collective like, wow.

Like she truly doesn't care. She's going to get out there and have fun in her smile. That's the vibe that I enjoy. And those are the kind of folks that inspire me and the people that I like to share company with. Absolutely. Same. And I just really admire that she speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes is right, which is supporting marginalized groups. And she does it

So effortlessly and unapologetically. And I just love her so much for that because her message could impact people that are fence riders that don't know that aren't big, you know, consumers of news, hearing her say something so compassionate about a gay person or a person of color is I think so important, especially right now. Okay. Had it or hit it birds. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

Is that a real question? It's a real question. We did our research, Tamron. There is a glorious, beautiful Senegal parrot who is chirping at everything we're talking about. She can hear us. Josephine Berger is my bird. I have a bird obsession. I have a peacock placemats. I have a beautiful China set that I got in Florence. It's all birds. I've heard, um, I've had my bird. I had for 20 years. Um,

He passed away when I moved here. And so we have Josephine Bertger. Listen, birds are, that's my, like Mariah Carey's her butterfly thing or whatever. Dolly has her nails. Birds are my thing. I don't know why, but birds are my thing. I love that. So I might have a proposal for you. My parents have this

African gray parrot named Crackers. And Crackers, I think she's 28 now, but she's supposed to live to be 80. And so my parents are aging and they're both in great health, but they are always worried about who's going to take this bird. And I have to tell you that Crackers is amazing.

she's really sweet to my parents and she's not very nice to the rest of us. And so maybe at some point you could adopt crackers. I have my own problem here. I had, I got Josephine Berger right when I was pregnant with Moses. And ever since I had my child, she has attempted to every day assassinate me or the child. She's only friends with Josephine.

My husband and then we have another family friend who babysits her when she comes to visit. She quick change. I feed her. I clothe her. I provide college tuition for her. I do everything for this bird. And she is so ungrateful and attempt at every chance attack my child or me. So no. Let me tell you what my mother did. So crackers about 20 years ago.

attacked me, bit the shit out of my finger. I start bleeding. I fling my hand and crackers goes, my mother goes, Oh, crackers. Oh, crackers. I'm like, crackers bit me, mom. I am bleeding. She goes, well, you'll be all right, darling. I'm worried about the bird. My mother's from Dallas. And so, you know, that, that kind of accent. And I'm like, you don't care about me.

Here's another funny story about crackers you'll get a kick out of. So they'd had crackers for about 15 years. My mother calls me and she says, darling, I've got some rather alarming news. And I said, what is it? And she said, well, crackers laid an egg. And I said, well, I thought crackers was a boy. And she said, you can imagine our surprise. Yeah.

Hang out with your mom. I don't know about the bird, but your mom sounds amazing. Hilarious. Yeah. So they thought Crackers was a boy for 15 years. And then Crackers. It's hard to tell their gender. You have to take a, they have to do a blood test. Yeah. So then Crackers goes and lays an egg. And then she had been misgendered, you know, for 15 years. But now Crackers is gendered properly. Crackers is a she. Yeah.

It took some adjustments and she's still me. Well, at least she has a non-gender name. I mean, Crackers. Yeah, it works out. Ever since the bird bit me on the finger and drew blood, I call her Crack Pie, much to my mother's irritation. You could be worse. You could call her Fried. Yeah.

No, my bird, yeah, she bites. And those birds are really big, but I don't know what happened. But I'm a huge bird person. It's a weird thing. And I just, I saw a hummingbird last summer. We have like a little cottage out on Long Island and this hummingbird came and my husband was like, what's wrong? Was I crying? I was like, what's wrong?

What have I done right in my life that a hummingbird is in my garden? You're a weirdo. I'm like, I know, but I love birds. Yeah, that's a whole thing. There's a whole bird watching. I mean, that's a lot of people love that. My dad's super into all of that. Okay. Last one. Had it or hid it? Gluten. It's a tough one. Of course you'd ask a tough one. So...

So my niece just recently got diagnosed with a gluten allergy. So that changed. Yeah, it changes it. Yes. No, the niece getting the diagnosis changes. I mean, it's putting a real... Because I do think that there are...

There are people that have real gluten allergies and that is serious and they need to avoid gluten. And then you have the faux gluten allergy piggybackers that are like, I'm gluten free, I'm gluten free, I'm gluten free. And then they're hammered drunk at 2 a.m. and they're eating cheese pizza four pieces at a time before they pass out. So I won't name names. I know at least two people like that. We go to dinner with them. I'm literally like,

Here we go. And it's this whole performative thing. But what I think is the core of it, because I've thought about it a lot, going back to the first conversation we had about busy and excuses. It's for some people, this constant desire to appear different, right? Because society...

Oh, God, I think we are in an attention craving world. It's gotten worse. And so when people can find things that, you know, you sit down for dinner and everybody's got to talk 45 minutes about their gluten allergy that no one really believes that they have at the table. But it makes them the center of attention.

It just does. And so, yeah, it's complicated. And then again, you have restaurants who'd like charge extra for the bread and, you know, the pasta company that's charging extra for gluten pasta. And you're like, this is a scam. But yeah, he's got it. It's got it. Yeah. Capitalism always comes in and makes a racket out of everything, doesn't it?

Definitely. All right. Well, Tamron, thank you so much for joining us. Tell our listeners where they can find you and the title of your book. I know Pumps is about halfway through it. I'm going to start it when she finishes. Oh, thank you. I will get you two copies so you don't have to share. I know somebody who knows somebody who can make that happen. You might have some stroke.

No, you can watch the Tamron Hall Show. We are on, of course, throughout the country. If you go to tamronhallshow.com, that's where we see the listing. And the most exciting part of my journey right now is my new novel, Watch Where They Hide. It's a juicy crime thriller inspired by a case that I covered in Oklahoma in part. And it's about infidelity, betrayal. And can Jordan figure out what's happened to this missing mom of two? You'll have to see.

I mean, I just, this, I just feel like I want to inject that right into my veins. I love that stuff. Tamron, it has been so lovely to meet you. You are wonderful. Be sweet to your bird. And I hope your bird is sweet to you. And I'm bringing crackers to you. And thanks for doing crackers. I hope you do crackers. I hope you and crackers find peace and love, maybe over a Thanksgiving meal together.

And I wish you all the best with that relationship and give your parents the best. Thank you, ladies. It was a joy to speak with you. Thank you. You too. Bye-bye. You know what I like about Tamron Hall? What?

She's had it, but make it intellectual. She's so smart. You know, like she's had it with stuff, but she's mindful and thoughtful and there's a psychology behind it. And you and I attempt to do that. And then we always end up in the junior high school restroom potty talk. She's taking it to a level we can't seem to reach. Tamron Hall is goals for us. Absolutely. No, she's cool. Yeah. What about her with the bird? Are you kidding me? Yeah.

Kylie and I were like seeing, we were Googling yesterday when we were researching the had it or hid it. And Kylie's like, oh, she's obsessed with birds. And Kylie was telling me. I love that. I'm so excited. Crackers finally made it to a podcast episode. Crack pipe. Crack pipe. Here's the deal. I just cannot wait to witness. I'm not getting that bird. When crackers comes to live at your house. Crackers is. Those are famous last words. I'm on the permanent record. You're fucking ended up with crackers. You're the, you're the illogical choice.

For crackers? For crackers. Maybe Steve will do it. He might take the bullet. Your brother? That's my brother, yeah. You know, there's going to be a lot of grandkids. My children are candidates for crackers. They're not taking crackers. You're taking crackers. No, I'm not taking crackers. You love Linda. Linda loves you. I love Linda. You and Linda are basically the same person. We've morphed into the same person. Yeah. But I just, I think you'll end up with crackers. I really do.

All right, listen, I cannot have crackers. I cannot have crack pipe. Just say no to crack. Leave us five stars. Go to our link in bio. Come see the hot shit tour. If you are a member of Patreon, you can join us for our post show, which will start right now. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with.