The Dragons are Still Saggin'
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Ready? One, two, three. That was bad. One, two, three. There we go. Judge Judy Diana, the sensation in podcasting is here with us wearing a fantastic purple velvet suit. You look so pretty. You had court this morning. I'm sure you razzle dazzle. I mean, it was just nonstop razzle dazzle. Kylie's here. Seth is here. And let me tell you, listener,

Welcome to I've Had It. And a lot of podcasts don't care about their listener the way we do. Because what they do at the end of the year is they play reruns, which is chicken shit. You know why? Because if you just scroll down a little bit further on the app, the episode's right there. Yeah.

Right. It's not like back in the 80s when they played a rerun. It was legitimately the only time you could access that rerun. It was gone after it played. So for those of you when you did the Spotify rap and I've had a podcast wasn't number one.

I want you to know we're here working for you to bring fresh new content and not doing a chicken shit rerun. Isn't that right, Kylie? That's right. No days off. No days off. No days off and I've had it because we've got shit we have to pay for. We've got three kids in college between us. We do. Yeah. Yep. So anyway...

What we're going to do today, listeners, we're going to do a year in review of I've Had It podcast. Okay. I've made a list. I've made some notes. And I just want to start off with the biggest gift that we received in January, which was Kylie. Absolutely. Kylie was the gift that we could not do it without. Our show pony from Stillwater, Oklahoma, arrived here to the studios and she started...

doing wizardry. Yes. She's amazing. On the World Wide Web. Yes. Yep. She did a phenomenal job. Kylie, how has your year been at I've Had It? It's been a great year. I have learned a lot. I've learned a lot of patience, of love.

And I love you guys. Thanks for a good year. We love you. We love you, Kylie. Kylie's like our mama bear. And she does all our social media. Well, she does all the podcast social media. Jennifer does her own social media. Kylie has to help me quite a bit. I don't really want credit for your social media. So...

I want to talk about some of the highlights of the year. Okay. One of the biggest highlights was Michelle when she called in and she said, I roll goddamn city. Michelle is our queen.

Love her. I roll goddamn city. It's funny because I was driving back from court and that popped into my head how much I loved her. I roll goddamn city. I roll goddamn city. Our buzzer broke. It did break. Kylie, why isn't that fixed? An employee of Jennifer Welch Designs broke it. She had it for one second.

And broke it. And when she gave it back, I Roll Goddamn City no longer played. Really? Michelle, I'll work on it. I'll get it fixed. I think I have a gold button in my car. It just needs batteries. Yeah. I'll give it to you. I need that button back. No, it's not our button. It's one I ordered separately. No, I'm talking about the original button. Yeah, well. I need that button back. It's fucking gone. All right. One of the lowlights of the year for me, I'm still somewhat reeling from it, is when I was accused of being a centrist. Yeah.

You have not gotten over that. People can call you fucking bitch. See you next Tuesday. All of those things. Don't care. Don't care. Water off the duck's back. Couldn't care less. When they called you a centrist, I mean, you were mad about that for what, two, three weeks? And listen up, listener. These two guys, what city was that? I think it was Austin. Was it? No, I thought it was the Pacific Northwest. Oh, you're right. It was. You're right. Seattle. Yeah. Seattle.

Or Portland. Maybe it was Portland. Anyway, they showed up. They showed up with these T-shirts and their number one goal was to get Jennifer Welch to tell them to fuck off at the live show of the hot shit tour. Right. So they bought the VIP passes and we're meeting everybody afterwards. And they said, hey, we made you a gift, Jennifer.

And the T-shirt that they had screen printed for me said, proud centrist. I loved it so much. Which I immediately looked at these two guys and said, fuck off. It was Portland, I think. Died laughing. They were so excited. I mean, it just, I was the cheapest date for them on the planet. Yeah. I wore that shirt to bed last night. Oh, you did? You did. Proudly.

Proud centrist. Proud centrist. I thought you were a faith and flag conservative. I am. Centrist is a little too left for me. Well, and then, you know, we have a, now we have a ban list where people we banned from the podcast. Oh, right. And I think the only person that remains on that is number one, Hassan Piker. Right. He's the only one that I can think of. Kylie, can you think of anybody else? Were you on the verge of banning?

Bernie Sanders? Because he hasn't come on? Yeah, let's go ahead and ban Bernie Sanders as well. We have a lot of room on the list. Yeah, lots of room. Yeah, let's ban Bernie Sanders as well. And his son, Piker, we're banning him because he broke up with us. Exactly. It's a retaliatory ban. It's the white girl breakup. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him. Yes. All he has to do to get off the ban list and all Bernie Sanders has to do...

the senator from the great state of Vermont, all they have to do is slide in the DMs. Just a tiny bit of attention. I mean, we are not going to play hard to get. Not in the least. Not in the least. Another favorite thing that happened to us in 2023 was when pumps went viral in the UK press.

For cramming a spoon up her ass to relieve herself from constipation. Right. And it didn't relieve me of constipation. That's the hard spot in the whole deal. Yeah. I mean, that's the hardest thing to get over. Okay. Then Jared Freed, we had Jared on the episode. We've had him on twice. But on the first time that he was on, he had just returned from doing live shows in Oklahoma City. Oh, that's right. And we asked him what he thought about Oklahoma City.

And he said that Oklahoma City had homeschool energy. Which is fantastic. That is a great description. That is a great description. I mean, I died when he said that because when you think about it, we kind of do. I mean, homeschool energy. It's not a compliment. No. Not a compliment. No, it was not a compliment. I mean, I think the thing about Oklahoma City is when it

When I think about like the inner city, like there's cool people doing cool stuff. But then when you take all the surrounding suburbs and put it all in there, you have this weird, fucked up,

Like people that want to return to like the 1950s style of life. Like Plymouth Rock style life. Puritans. Puritans. Yes, absolutely. You've just got little bitty, in Oklahoma City, you have a little bitty, cool cosmopolitan part. But you got to take the state at large. It's fucking nut balls. Yeah.

Yeah, it's nut balls. And then we are governed, I think, right now by Christian nationalists. Oh, for sure. Racist, homophobic Christian nationalists. Yeah. Kylie just read something about our governor. He went down to the University of Oklahoma. What did he do, Kylie? He actually, I think he just signed a bill into law of the whole state that all

Removing DEI from all universities, which is diversity, equity and inclusivity. So that's getting rid of jobs, getting rid of that program in general. I mean, it's just straight up white supremacy. It's awful. Blatant. It's so blatant. And it's like diversity and inclusion, equality and inclusion. That's what you're against.

Diversity, equality, inclusion. You're against that. Proudly. Proudly. This reminds me. There's this private school in Oklahoma City. Neither of our kids go to it.

But all these parents went fucking bonkers because they had a DEI. They wanted to teach kids about diversity and inclusion. Right. So all these parents write up this psychotic manifesto. And of course, it gets screenshotted and text around to everybody all around Oklahoma City. And their fucking names are on it, like in the email. So you know who all these people are. And they make the argument in this that when it comes to DEI,

could you at least teach both sides? So let's talk about what the other side of diversity is. It's homogeny. Right. And it's unbelievable. Inclusivity. They want you to teach basically exclusivity, which

Basically, they're already teaching that and it's called U.S. History. Right. Absolutely. But their names are on it and they're just hysterical, going crazy, pulling their hair out by the root. Of course, everybody's texting it around. And I see some of these people from time to time around town. And I'm just thinking, you're one of those nuts that wrote up a manifesto describing exactly how racist you are. Why don't you just do an email that says, I'm a fucking racist.

I don't want anybody to have anything unless they're white and Christian. And just be done with it. Why hide behind you being against diversity, equality, and inclusion? Just say, I'm a fucking racist. That's who I am. Fuck off. Yeah. Own it. And I just, a shout out at the end of this year to the teachers and administrators. Absolutely. Because you are up against...

horrible odds. I would think it'd be difficult enough to educate children because they're all so different and they all learn so differently. But that's built into your training and your schooling. But to deal with these unhinged, dumbass parents, they're going to drive all of these any good teachers out of their profession. Their racism, their homophobia. Yeah.

It's like, oh, it just goes all through me. It makes me so mad. Yeah. That just really pisses me off about the DEI. Yeah. No, it's, I mean, these are probably the same parents that, you know, like if their kids were gay would completely kick them out of the family. Oh, absolutely. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I just can't imagine that you'd write up some manifesto and then put your name on it like that. Yeah.

Because I have it. I have a copy of it in my phone. You can't start even go to school. I could list their names right now. But I'm going to be nice and I'm not going to whistleblow. I'm not going to name the school. But those of you in Oklahoma City know exactly what school it was. And we all have screenshots of all of the people. All the perpetrators. All the racist perpetrators. That's right. Okay. Then we had a really fun Oklahoma woman visit us.

The Pioneer Woman. The Pioneer Woman. She's great. Reed Drummond. And what I liked about that is she rolls into town in her pickup truck. She brought us some cowboy boots. Yeah, beautiful boots.

She didn't have any handlers with her. No, by herself. Just her. She drove from Pawhuska to Oklahoma City. Immediately felt like I'd known her forever. A hundred years. And then she's completely in on this whole I've had it thing. Yeah. She's had it with her kids, which is so relatable. So relatable. Because kids, let's face it, we love them, but they're assholes. Right. They are high maintenance assholes. They make life harder than it has to be a lot of the time. And then she said something that I think is so true.

She said she loved her husband, but he wasn't her best friend. Right. Because I loved the logic behind it. If he's my best friend, who do I bitch about him to? Right. Which I think was a very well-reasoned point. And since then, I've seen all of these celebrities that I follow on social media do all of these like anniversary posts, performative posts where it's like,

I love you after 25 years of marriage. You're my best friend, blah, blah, blah. And I just always kind of look and I think, is he, is he your best friend? Is he really your best friend? I always think, why don't you have other best friends? I mean, why do you not have enough friends that you can like your husband has to be your best friend? I don't know. I think it's just, I think it's performative coupling. Yeah. I think some people don't have a lot of friends though too. I advise that.

Keeping your group smaller. Right. But if Josh was the only person that you ever talked to, you'd go crazy. Right. But Josh, I mean, Josh is, it's, I can't translate like what a husband, what a spouse is, and then what a best friend is. That's what I'm saying. They're just two different categories. They both can't be the same. Pops, the holiday. As school messes return, rest easy. Clorox has got your back to school.

Oh, no. I'm back. That messy science experiment. And I brought baking soda, cornstarch. And you're due tomorrow, right? Well, at least I stocked up on Clorox disinfecting wipes. Because you're not messing up my kitchen counters like last time. Ooh, smart. Got any food coloring? And off to the store we go. Stock up on Clorox disinfecting wipes that clean three times better. Then wet paper towels and kitchen grease and soap scum. Use as directed.

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Kelly Osbourne, we go out to New York and we have Kelly Osbourne on our show and Kylie's cutting it up, right? And she's like, I'm at this many minutes and I'm about to cut some hat at her head at stuff. There's a bit where she kind of goes off on Prince Harry. Should I leave it or not? And I was like, well, if you think it's good, leave it. I don't care either way. We're like slammed. The podcast is growing. So she's like, I'll leave it. So she leaves it in there. Kelly Osbourne fucking rips. Yeah.

Prince Harry. I mean, let's him have it. Like he's a titty baby. He's a whiner. Suck it up. Grow a pair. Everybody has shit. And it goes fucking viral beyond viral. Right. I mean, like I'm getting alerts on my phone.

And I'm like, it says Kelly Osbourne is on a podcast. And then I'm like, that's our podcast. That's our podcast. The only thing that kept it from being the top news story of the day was the submarine, the missing submarine. Right. The submersible. Submersive. Submersive. That's the only thing that kept it. But it was like.

viral, wasn't it, Kylie? It was insane. It was insane. And we didn't even think anything about it because we're not British. I remember we got an email from her team. I was like, oh, you know, I hope they're not mad about all the press. We get an email from her PR person. She was like, well, that really took off. I was like, sure it is. She was lovely. The best. She was lovely. And then something amazing happened that we never thought we'd do. We were on the Today Show podcast.

Oh, my gosh. Was that just like the biggest deal ever? I still can't believe it. I still can't believe it either. Like, I dropped you off from the car and we looked at each other and we're like, we were on the Today Show. We met Jen and Hoda. Like, that's fucking bananas. It was nuts. We were driving back from the airport and...

We looked at each other. Normally it's just like, bye bye. Because we're together all the time. But we like squeezed and hugged each other. We were like, holy shit. We were on the Today Show. Right. And that was just a total blast. It was a total blast. Sean, their producer's amazing. I absolutely thought Jenna and Hoda. I'm like, okay, now I know why they host the Today Show. I just want to point out for the permanent record that the second time that we were on the Today Show on that whole morning, we

Coco Gauff was on. Yes. And then Novak Djokovic was on. Right. This is right after I won my gold medal for pickleball. And then I was on. Did we really just make an equivalency between U.S. Open? It was a trifecta of winners all on the Today Show on the same day.

Well, that's probably why they had you on. I don't want to say anything, but didn't you tell me another group in your pickleball won a championship? So that kind of diminishes yours a little bit. I have no idea what you're talking about. I thought you said Libby won a pickleball championship. I don't know what you're talking about. You're lying. So they're not that hard to get. You know what? Women bringing women down. Oh, we're bad people. That's right. Only about pickleball. That's right, Barney. In your purple suit. Okay.

It is pretty sweet though. I want you to wear it again. I don't want to create. I'm not worried. Okay. Another, well, just the biggest thing that I have to say, our favorite guests have been drag queens. Absolutely. And we have had so many phenomenal drag queens on the show. Trixie, Katya, Delta, Ginger, Simone, Gigi, Bianca. Love. Love them all. I mean, one thing you have to say about drag queens is they have their shit together and

Fucking smart. I just, I just can't even tell you how much I enjoyed them. Every single one of them. I agree. Bianca Del Rio in particular, traffics in a breed of cynicism. I love it. That is like a dopamine hit for me. Yeah. When she was going off about like people not having their shit together before they walked through the metal detectors of the TSA and then like, yeah, you got your fucking cock ring on.

My favorite is she went through Palm Springs and wrote everybody hate comments on post-it notes during COVID. I just thought that was a hoot. I know. She's great. Okay. And then we had Hannah Berner that was in town that stopped. She was doing live shows in Oklahoma City and she stopped by and recorded in person. And...

Also Zachariah. Yes. And also Matthew. So some of these comedians and podcasters when they're in town swing by and we love doing this in-person stuff. Hannah in particular was so sweet to us because we were thinking about going on tour and we were nervous wrecks.

We went to her show in Oklahoma City and we got to go back to her dressing room afterwards. And we were asking her like, we're nervous wreck. We're incompetent. I don't think we can do this. Right. She's like, you can. And she gave us tips like break it down in segments, try stuff out, do the same show. You know, once you start going to different cities, then you can.

reinvent your show. And she really gave us the best advice. She did. She was so generous with her time and her advice. And she's just a, she's one of those people that you just meet and immediately want to spend more time with. Yeah, she's great. And she's totally taking off now. I see her all over the place. She's killing it. Her career is crushing and it couldn't happen to a more lovely person. Absolutely. And she does everything by herself. She doesn't have a big

What do you call them? Handlers? Posse. She doesn't have a big posse. No, she does not. And I loved, I was on Instagram and it's like the US Open and she's at some tennis deal and there she is with Roger Federer. Yeah. She's just cool. She deserves it. Like she's a person that's very worthy of that. And Jared Freed has taken off too. I just love Jared Freed. He is so worthy. Okay. Some of our favorite episodes and most viral episodes have been the Next Door app episodes. Yes. Yes.

Because people are stupid and they don't mind sharing it on the World Wide Web. How dumb they are. One of my favorite things was the corgi. Renting the corgi. To watch some British like royal wedding or court wedding. Yes. I liked the one where the person was calling the police about her neighbor that went in to his garage.

About five o'clock every day and closed his garage door. And it's like, no shit, Sherlock. Yeah. And then what about the guy who named us Router? All cops are buttholes. I think I got so mad. I said, my grandson was bawling crying. It's like your grandson's a pussy. Yeah, totally. Okay. Then something really fun happens. So one of the times that we were at the Today Show, we are in the back of a car and

Picture of us was tweeted out. We didn't think anything of it. This internet meme queen named Yolanda Pfister gets a hold of it and says, I gave these two ladies an Uber ride and they tipped me $2,500 each, which I'm so grateful for so I can buy rotisserie chickens for my children. Yeah. She's a single mom Uber driver. And so some people are so goddamn dumb.

They didn't realize that that was satire, which in the beginning I was. Yeah. Because you sent it to me and I go, well, that didn't happen. You're like, it's satire. I'm like, oh, I get it now. So some people had the pumps reaction. Right. And they ran with it and like published a story about it. Right. And, you know, obviously I'm dying laughing. So then we start this whole thing. Kylie and Yolanda start this thing. Please share ways to.

on Twitter or on social media that gin and pumps have saved your life. And these stories were so hilarious. They were great. So we end up over in London doing a live show on the Hot Shit Tour. So we reached out to Yolanda Pfister, who is a 28-year-old Scottish gay man. Who's wonderful. And paid his way to come meet up with us in London and deliver a rotisserie chicken to the stage for

Of the London Hot Shit Tour and read hate comments to us. Yeah. That was a thrill. We've met so many nice people. Why do you act so surprised? Well, I mean, when you just... I don't think about it like in a list like this, but I mean, we have met some great people. Yes, definitely. Joe Estrada, who has become a huge part of I've Had It. He has. Shout out to him. Joe Estrada is... Somebody's trying to...

Unseat Joe with the permanent record. And so, listener, let me tell you who Joe Estrada is. Joe Estrada is our secretary. Right. And sergeant at arms. And would you call him the vice president? The vice president of the permanent record. Yes. Who's the president? I just assume you and I are the presidents or you're the president since it's your record. Yeah. So I'm the president. I don't even have to be an officer. I'm fine. Okay.

She's a constituent. I can just be a constituent of our imaginary club. Pups is an unwilling participant. She is an unwilling participant. I'm going to let Joe be the president. Okay. Joe's the president. I'll be vice president. And anyway, he keeps track of the permanent record. But then in a bizarre turn of events, which we've released all of this on our Patreon for those of you that have not subscribed yet.

Some gal named Stephanie makes us some whopper of a permanent record book. The time, attention, care, and detail that this woman put into this is unparalleled. Unparalleled. It's unbelievable. Joe is about to have a meltdown.

But he stayed the course. We did a call out to Stephanie on Patreon and we haven't heard back yet, which did she just send it and then that's it? That was it. That was her love letter. Shout out to Stephanie. Shout out to Joe. Okay.

And then we had another, all of the callers that call in, they're not callers, voice memo leavers have brought so much great content. Absolutely. And they brought so many fabulous things forward for us to be mad about. Right. Great stuff we didn't even think of. We're always looking for new petty stuff. Always. To get wound up about. But one in particular was great and it's Olivia. And Olivia expresses just amazing.

Utter outrage that women are claiming that their children chose them to be their mothers. When in fact, they were raw dogging while on vacation in Florida. I still love that so much, the raw dogging. Now we say raw dogging quite a bit. We do. Okay. And then we can't forget one of our favorite guests, Josh Welch. Little Joshie. He's just one of my favorite people. I forget he was a guest.

So Josh Welch reveals on an episode that he discovered the world of manscaping in a Best Buy in Oklahoma City. That's what I can't get over. Two things. Number one, that he had never manscaped before now because he's the most groomed human on the planet Earth. Groomed, attention to detail, talking hair, toes, everything in between.

So that he just figured out manscaping. But really what got me is the best buy. Here's the thing. A lot of people on the first couple times that Josh was a guest on the episode, a lot of our listeners are gay.

And they sent me DMs. I think I'm getting a gay vibe from Josh. Right. You're married to a gay man. Josh seems gay. And I'm like, that checks. Right. That checks out. Merce the lie. And so then they all circled back. All of these people that kind of were waving, you know, like a gaydar ping with Josh Welch. They all circled back after the episode where Josh says that he went to Best Buy for

To buy his manscaping products. And they said, well, we know for sure he's straight because no self-respecting gay man would go to Best Buy to buy his grooming products. It's so true. It is so true. It's so true. And then two of Pump's favorite guests of the year, Mary Trump. Oh, yes. And her boyfriend, Bill.

been my say list. I mean, my boyfriend that I see every day, when our algorithm multiple times a day, multiple times a day, I was listening to him on the way back from court, just giving me a little update about what's going on in the day. And then Mary Trump, I've just loved her forever. Think about how two fucking morons like you and me had Donald Trump's niece, who's cool as shit, not a Trumper at all. Smart. She is, but not in ideology.

On our podcast. I know it's amazing, isn't it? It's kind of crazy. It's crazy. And then, of course, we cannot forget, I mentioned this earlier, but it's worth mentioning again. I won a gold medal in pickleball. I had a listener. A lot of listeners are really supportive of me, despite not being supported in my workplace and in my friendships. Right. For this should look, I bet you'll get over it.

Here's the deal. I support you in pickleball. It's just the overblown nature of this competition that it just, I'm just like, it's really not that big of a deal. Where's your medal? I don't have a medal, but if I won Mahjong, I wouldn't come up here and grandstand about winning Mahjong. Exactly. You don't have a medal. Because I don't play pickleball. Why are you still talking about it? Because you won't let it go because we've been talking for two years. You're not trying to move on. Two years. I just won this medal a few months ago. No, but I'm just saying the nonstop pickleball talk.

Because you do it. You assume everyone wants to talk about it. The only person talking about pickleball right now is you. Because you won't stop. I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to move on. I have a punch list. I have a time. The clock's rolling. Okay. Okay. And then moving along, Kylie received a gift from Pumps and Me. And her gift...

Is a young man by the name of seth right whom we have nicknamed kb in the sunshine band which kb stands for kylie's bitch kylie's bitch i know that that's probably against some sort of law And if you have a hr complaint, you can address those complaints to pumps in my instagram dms, right? Until then we will be referring to seth as kylie's bitch seth. Can you say hello?

Hello. Yeah, I was thinking, isn't Pumps our HR? I don't know if I'm going to get very far. Yeah, no. Your claim is denied. She's our lawyer and HR, yes. So, Seth, if you would like to file a complaint against your bosses, just please direct that to Pumps Attorney at Law. That's right. I actually really love working here. And Jen told me that in a couple years I might get paid to work here.

I'm just going to keep my complaints to myself. That's good. That's right. That's good, Seth. Okay. Kylie, has life been better since you got your bitch? It has. And I also want to thank all the listeners that have been DMing me. Congrats on my new bitch. I love that. They're still rolling in. Oh, good. Love that. Everyone's really excited for me. That's really good. And they should be. That's really good. Pops, I've had it with BO. Saving on your education should be a right, not a competition.

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It's called the Hot Shit Tour. It's still going on. So in January, we're going to California. February dates, you can click our link in bio. But we went to 17 cities. Yes. Three countries. Four countries if you count our vacation. But no, not for the Hot Shit Tour. We went to – Sorry. Five countries if you count my childhood. Okay.

We went to 97 countries. Right. 1,000 cities. No, you're right. Three countries. Three countries, 17 cities and 11 states on the hot shit tour. Yep.

I mean, it was so much fun. We're happy to be home for a little bit and then happy to hit California. Yeah. It's funny, though, because I was so worried like no one would come. It would be a flop. And it really has been one of the most enjoyable aspects of this podcast for me. Yeah. No, we were terrified when they first said our agency said, y'all should do a tour. We're like, no, we're not doing it. Nobody will come. Nobody will come.

So they talk us into it and they released the first three cities, which was Atlanta, D.C. What's that? And Philly. Atlanta, Philly, D.C. So the tickets go on sale and Pumps comes up to the studio and I am on my computer and we're like clicking the links to see if any tickets are right. Her face is over my shoulder. And I mean, maybe a millimeter separates our cheek to cheek and she has on her glasses and she's staring.

Too many by any. Oh, my God. This is going to be humiliating. This is probably the worst, most embarrassing flop that we've ever done. And then they sold out. And they sold out. It was crazy. It was crazy. And I love meeting all the people. Yes. Yes. So much fun. Okay. And then we started up a Patreon. It was a slow start at first because we didn't know what the fuck we were doing. And now it's got steam. We have a full-blown documentary club. Which has been really fun. We watch documentary every...

Everybody that's in the I've had it podcast, Patreon club is called a titty baby. And we start off every session serving milk. Oh, wow.

Always gives me the cringes when you say that. And they like it. They like their milk. And then we analyze the documentaries. A lot of them are fucked up religious cults. Great shit. January 6th documentary. Crazy crime documentaries. It's been so good. And everybody has such great analysis. They do. It's always so fun to hear what they're saying. Yeah.

Because it's like, oh my gosh, I didn't think that, but that's so right. I totally agree. And then we have episodes, bonus episodes that we are going to start dropping that are only available on Patreon. So please join us on Patreon. If you're not, we post in there a couple of times a week and it's a really fun little community. And then I think our biggest accomplishment of 2023, Kylie and Pumps and Seth.

is that we have successfully pissed off a ton of maggots. That's a badge of honor. I'm thrilled about it. I could not be more thrilled that they hate us. I know. I think they started off thinking, oh yeah, these are our people. Find someone else with a low IQ. All right. And then in conclusion, we just have a few things that remain true after 12 months of I've had it. Okay. First and foremost,

Started off the year with this and we're ending the year with this. Pumps is still a bad pet owner. You can't shame me. You can try, but you just can't because I'm not sorry. Number two, toddlers are still assholes. Always will be assholes. Number three, we hate yak mouths. Hate yak mouths, even though sometimes I am one. Number four, and this is only intensified for me, we hate journeys.

manifesting and oppose toxic positivity in all of its forms. 100% agree. Number five, this is true. The dragons are still sagging and maybe even more now. 100%. Gravity does not stop for anyone. Number six, Jennifer is still so much younger than pumps. So much younger. Yep. So much. A lot. A lot. A lot younger. A lot.

Number seven, after a whole year of peer pressure and gaslighting, Pumps still has not tried lesbianism. Nope, still haven't. And our final I've had it podcasting truth of the year 2023, Scout, Pumps' beloved Pomeranian, is still missing.

Someone has him. He's been groomed, but he can always be missing for all, which kind of just goes right back into circles. It just circles right back up to point number one. Just it's a full circle there, which is also point number one in the permanent record. Yeah. Not a good pet owner. So that has been our year end review.

I've had a podcast and we cranked out an episode when all these other podcasts that were number one and your fucking rap, Spotify wrapped, were number three or four or whatever. I bet you they're playing a rerun, but not us. Or a compilation. Not fresh content. Not new. No. Not doing it. No. We ran a rerun, but we sat and recorded it live. Yeah.

We made a little effort. We narrated our rerun for fuck's sake. We narrated it. Yeah. Yeah. So suck on that smartless. All right. Well, I think that's it. It's been a great year. Great year. Had more fun than I can ever imagine. Learned a lot.

It's been ups and downs, but mostly ups. So listeners join us on Patreon and start our documentary club. And you're also going to get a new episode, bonus episode, Patreon only content. And, um,

Join us at our hot shit tour. It's really fun. It's a fucking ton of fun. If Pumps and I can make it, you guys can make it. Because we're usually in bed by 9 or 10. Yeah, these shows start at like 8. We're burning the midnight oil like you wouldn't believe. It's like we've got two days creamed into one. We're up so late. And then you need to give us a five-star review.

Voice memos. And you have to send your voice memos of all of your petty grievances to our Instagram account. And pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it.