She's Really Let Herself Go
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three.

I'm really just killing it in the clap department. And I just want to say you're killing it in the outfit department today. I am. I actually tried. You have on cute shoes. Real shoes. Real shoes. Real girl shoes. And not like men's flip flops. Yeah. No. They're not as comfy. But they're cute. So, Pumps, is there anything on your mind? Anything you've had it with? Anything you want to share with the listener? I've had it with looky-loos.

I'm tired of everybody stopped in traffic.

Because A, somebody had a fender bender or B, they're getting pulled over. It's like, why are you staring? Just drive. And believe I know I have been guilty of it in the past if there's like 27 fire trucks, but I'm doing it as I'm passing. I don't like slow down to 30 to watch this wreck or whatever's going on the highway. It's just unnecessary. Well, maybe they're slowing down because there are people impeding the roadway.

No, this is just like not people in – like way off on the shoulder, like between the two highway lanes. I'm an offender. I look. But what if it was – I don't look because – what if it was horrible? It could be, but I can't help myself. I look. It terrifies me that I'm going to see like a dead body or something, like blood or – Well, I'm sure you can't – I mean, I'm sure that's a possibility. I mean, because –

Car wrecks are ubiquitous and very dangerous. It's far more dangerous to drive in a car than it is to ride on an airplane. Right. Which brings me to just one little thing I wanted to touch on. At one point, we spoke about people clapping when a pilot lands the plane. Yes. It's far more dangerous, listener, to ride in a car. So for those of you that defended the pilots...

Whenever you're riding in a car, I don't care if it's your mother driving you, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, an Uber driver, I want you to start clapping. Don't discriminate. Don't discriminate. If you're going to clap for the pilot, you clap for all people that operate machinery that gets you from position A to position B. The pilot shouldn't get all the glory because air travel is safer. Right.

So I want it bus drivers. I want standing ovations for bus drivers. Every time. Do not cherry pick which type of driver gets the applause. I've had it with that. But back to the looky loos. I'm an offender. I disagree with you on this. I haven't had it with looky loos because I'm a looky loo. I can be a looky loo, but generally not because I really am scared to see something that would be like traumatizing forever.

Yeah. Okay. So listener pumps is up on the moral high ground this morning. I'm about to bring her a blanket. I'm just a chicken. Okay. I'm going to bring her a blanket. I don't really know that I've had it with anything today, but I do want to share a story with you and the listener. Okay. About three or four weeks ago, I went out like to a black tie event. Mm-hmm.

And normally, as you and the listener know, when I get invited to do things, I get resentful and angry about it. I didn't in this scenario at all because the event was for one of my pickleball friends. She was receiving an award. Okay. Another pickleball friend invited me to go with her. And because pickleball was involved, even though we weren't playing pickleball, but it was my pickleball friends.

Who are my real friends that don't judge me for playing pickleball because they play it with me I was all excited about it. But before I agreed to go I asked the person that invited me you don't stay out late, right? She goes let me just tell you something if you go with me You will be in bed

in your pajamas before the first valet car is delivered. Love that. So I'm like, damn. Sure. So she comes to pick me up. Okay. And I've always thought that I was kind of a graduate level student as far as being able to go to an event, socialize, Irish exit. Right. I thought I was crushing it. Right. Come to find out I'm like a preschooler. Right.

Really? So let me tell you what she does. Oh my gosh. We pull up to the event. Okay. She sees the valet line and she's like, she counts the cars, does the math. And she says, it's going to be a lot quicker if we just park ourselves and walk in. Are you down with that? And I go, I'm totally down. So she whips into a parking spot, ass in, nose out. Right. We go into the event. She immediately starts socializing with each person that she needs to.

She's like, she's working a room. Yeah. Heat seeking missile works a room immediately. It says, hi, it's genuine. It's gracious. Then she starts giving the social cues that she's going to the next person. Right. I'm watching this whole thing go down. Right. Just shock and awe. So she works the, the lobby of the event and she works one half of the room of the dinner. Right.

Appetizer comes out in between the appetizer and the entree. She gets up and works the other half of the room smart I'm sitting there with total amazement because a lot of the people were still wanting to chat with her But she's giving these social cues and she's moving right on to the next person Then she has to go up on stage Introduce the recipient of this award. She does it graciously awesomely amazingly

Come back and sit down. We chit chat. They wrap up the final award. She looks at me, does a little twirl with her finger. Love it. We are out the door. We don't have to wait in the valet line. She's ass in, nosed out. I'm home in my pajamas and she texted me. I just texted the people that were sitting at our table and they're still in the valet line. Love it.

I am an abject failure compared to this woman. She should teach a master class. It's incredible. She is a PhD and I'm in my

poopy diaper when it comes to this. I'm so bad at it. I thought I was really good. I thought I was really good too, but not like her. No, I had the best time and I was at home in bed in my pajamas at 8.30 PM. I went to a black tie circle jerk event. Everything that I hate and I had the most wonderful time

evening, supporting my darling friends. Love it. So it's just all positive energy over here from me today. That's just, we need to get better. Yeah, we do. Okay. So listener, today is the day that we hear from you. But before we do that, I want to welcome you to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. We like to call her Princess Diana.

Shut up, Jessica. I did see a comment that was Jessica and lumps. Jessica and lumps. That's pretty good. All right, lumps. Okay. Kylie is here today and she has gone through all the DMs and picked some winners and they are going to be hum dingers. I believe zingers. Kylie, who's first? First, we've got Katie.

Hi, Jennifer and Pumps. Greetings from London. I'm Katie. I have had it with cats, little furry fuckers coming into my back garden and taking a shit in my flower bed, staring me straight in the eyes through the window, looking at me like, no peonies for you, you blonde

fucking cunts um and i'm allergic so i go to my friend's house and she's like oh my cat doesn't really like people until i get there and then over they come and sit in my lap trying to rub their fucking dander in my face so that i sneeze everywhere cats i've had it had it i'm just gonna say this

A person with a British accent could say the most fucked up shit on the planet. And I'm in. And I'm in. And I love it. But in this particular case, her I've had it with cats, I think is 150% accurate. I hate cats. I think they're gross. I mean, I would never have a cat.

But I kind of admire the cat a little bit that it's pooping in her garden while looking at her, basically telling her to fuck off. It's pretty savage. It's pretty savage. That's the thing about cats is like this cat hates everybody, but the cat knows that that darling little British woman doesn't like her. So the cat's over there rubbing its ass in her face. And that's what cats do. Cats are like the ultimate fuck off species. Yeah.

They are clever. They know like this person fucking hates my guts. And I am going to prove exactly why I'm so hateable. And then the cat feels really good about itself for doing that.

Yeah, I just, well, everybody knows I've got this cat. Right. With the diabetes. The diabetes and the problems. And now she's come, she comes to my bedside every night, meows at me and then starts purring. So I have to go through a 20 minute pet session with her, which I, you know, despite my reputation in the podcasting world of being a cold hearted bitch, I'm, I actually have moments of kindness. And so I pet the cat. I love on the cat. I tell her she's pretty and,

Even though inside I think you're lazy. You need to do a better job grooming yourself. Get your diabetes under control. Maybe run around the house and exercise and lose some weight so you won't have the diabetes. But I don't tell her that, you know. But I've kind of had it with cats too because this cat that I have. It's never going to die. And the vet just keeps her alive. Is she only inside?

She used to be indoor outdoor. Right. That's what I thought. She had some boyfriends. She tramped around the neighborhood, which I was in total support of. Right. And then about five, six years ago, she quit going outside. And that's when the, now that she doesn't have boyfriends, now she's not grooming herself. She doesn't, she's let herself go. She's let herself go. She has completely let herself go. Okay. Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Clinton J. Okay.

Hi, Pumps and Jenny. My name is Clinton, and what I have had it with this week is people who are obsessed with telling you how many books they have read in a year. I could not give less of a shit that you have read 47 books by the month of June. This is not the third-grade Scholastic Bookathon, bitch. You're an adult, and you're not going to get a presidential award like in gym class for being a loser.

Furthermore, this does not promote conversation unless I have read the same books as you, which I haven't because they're probably all trashy romance novels. What am I supposed to say to this information besides good job, you fucking nerd. Any adult who feels the urge to tell people this information, I would encourage you to lean into that hobby and read a book on self-awareness and social skills. Love you both.

Clinton? Clinton killed it. Clinton, you fucking nerd. Not you, Clinton. Oh my gosh. I'm with him on this. And I know that you're in a book club. Right. I've had it with book clubs. I mean, I've had it. If I read a book, I want to read the book and then I want to Google about the book. I don't want to go sit in a circle jerk and talk about the book.

It is like my worst nightmare. I don't, if somebody had some weird, you know, thought about the book, I don't want to share it. And everybody's always going to book club. I was at pickleball the other day and somebody's like, I got to race out. I got to go to book club. You're always going to book club. Yeah. I love my book club. They're so fun. Had it with book clubs. Yeah. They're really super fun. Um, but what he's talking about is this random people coming up and telling him how many books they've read in a year. Um,

Like who would do that? Right. 47 in June. I think a fucking nerd. A fucking nerd as he said. How about the romance novels? How about lean into your hobby? Yeah.

And read a book about self-awareness. He's so great. I mean, that's... And you can tell he's just hotter than a firecracker. Totally. I mean, he's hot. I think he's surrounded by a bunch of, quote, fucking nerds. Yeah. That are just reading books constantly and then they want to trot around and flex about all these books they've read. Which I can't even imagine anybody would care about. Especially if they start talking about a book he's not read. Here's what I think I'm going to do. If somebody says to me, like...

Hey, I have read 47 books this year. I'm gonna go really because I've watched about 247 television series, starting from Handmaid Tales to Candy, Succession. I'm totally fucking tap the vein on this shit. I have basically graduated from Netflix, Hulu and HBO Max.

With a PhD. Total PhD. Don't forget Apple TV. I mean, during COVID, I was like, I fucking finished streaming. I graduated from streaming. There was nothing left for me to watch. Right. No, that is true. I am really good at watching TV. I'm great at it. I do love to read though. I love a great book. I don't want to talk to people about the books that I read. It's my serenity. It's my thing. I just really don't like talking to people, much less about books. Have you ever listened to an audio book?

Yes, when I'm driving. Yeah, it's a really nice feature, I think. It's nice, but if I'm at home, I'm not going to... I think audiobooks, it's skirting. I think you're skirting reading. A little bit. I think it's totally skirting. If you're sitting at home listening to a book, that is skirting the system. You should be reading the book. Right. If I'm driving, I will do an audiobook. But if I'm sitting at home, I want to read the book. I'm not skirting. I'm not a skirter. But yeah, no, Clinton...

We can tell he's absolutely darling. Great voice. Smarter than a whip. Sharp as a tack. Yeah, he's a winner. Okay, up next, we've got someone with the username at everything starts with you.

Oh my God, I've had it with my husband calling me a million fucking times a day. He doesn't even leave. Well, no, he's left the house or I've left the house and within two seconds he's on the phone. I literally get God knows how many phone calls a day. Probably up to about 15 phone calls a day if we are apart from one another. And literally I say to him, are you still breathing in oxygen? And where you are, is the sky still fucking blue? Because unless you were cool

you are calling me to tell me something has gone catastrophically wrong or we have gone atomic i really don't fucking care i'm out for the day or i've popped out for all of 2.4 seconds there is nothing you should need to call me about i have literally fucking had it and you know what i don't even care if you play this or not i just needed to get this off my chest because the man is driving me fucking nuts and by the way i love you jenny and pumps

Oh, I love two British accents. Okay. Here's the deal. Listen up. Listen up, listener. We are toying with going on tour and we need London. All of you little Londoners or everybody in the UK, you spread this fucking podcast around because we want to be there a week. London is my favorite city. So you've got to spread this podcast so we can justify coming and running the podcast from there. Okay. So that's neither here nor there. This is real.

Nothing worse than a spouse calling nonstop. So recently, about a month ago, I go on a pickleball trip. Surprise. And

I talked to Josh maybe once per day. He's calling and texting a lot. He wants details. He wants to know what's going on, which is sweet and all of that. I didn't have time. I was busy being an athlete. I was in athlete mode. You know, athletes have a process and visiting with Josh 16 times a day didn't go with the concentration level that I needed on the court. I mean, it was the Palm Springs Olympics. It was serious. Okay. Yeah.

So I get home from this trip and usually when I travel, Josh greets me at the door, is so excited and he's like, get in here. And he takes my suitcase and he's like, tell me all about it, mamas. What went on? Because Josh and the boys call me mamas, M-A-M-A-Z. Come on, mamas, get in here. And the Frenchies are going bananas. He's sitting on the sofa.

Just butt hurt. And I was like, well, this is weird, but I don't care. So I go in, unpack the suitcase, go back out. And I go, what's going on? How was it? How's everything going? It's fine. And I'm like, we don't really have this dynamic in our relationship, like passive aggressive butt hurt. So I finally beat it out of him. And he is butt hurt that I only spoke to him one time per day. And I am like, oh, that's kind of sweet because there was a time in our relationship where

where I would have given anything for him to have cared when he was like out using drugs. So the moral of the story is be careful what you wish for, because if you wish your husband would quit calling you, then that happens. And then you're like, but we were just recently in New York, pumps and me. Yeah. Josh had to call me at least six times a day. And I, we were sitting in the bathroom getting ready. And I said, I think this confirms that.

I can never get married or be in like a really serious relationship because I couldn't keep up with the phone calls. Yeah. Like I just couldn't do it. He really loves me. Oh, I just. But we talk on the phone six times a day, you and me. Right. But we have stuff to talk about. It's just like, what are you doing? Pumps, what are you doing? We're in the bathroom. We're getting ready. Well, what are you going to wear? I mean, it's like, shut up. But caller, Josh recently sent a text. Okay. Yeah.

He sends a text while I'm in New York and the text says, I have a guy coming by the house to detail the cars. And I respond, yay, Y-A-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y with a bunch of Y's to show my enthusiasm. My car is filthy and needs it. I thought from there, this conversation about the detailing and my enthusiasm was complete. 2.5 seconds later, my phone rings. Much to my surprise, it's Josh. Right.

I answer and he's like, yeah, so the car detailer's coming over. I'm like, yeah, you just said that in the text. I got the text. And he's like, yeah, but you showed so much enthusiasm. And I go, are you taking a victory lap here? Is that what this is? Like, you're like peacock feathers out, silverback gorilla, like, look at me. I'm your man. I'm getting your car detailed. He goes, kind of. I am. And I was like,

Okay. Are we finished now? Can we be done with this? Yeah. Okay. But here's the deal caller. There's two options for psycho callers. Psycho like significant other callers. Number one, they're just a psycho and they're madly in love with you. And this would be the case with Josh Welch. Number two, are they up to no good? See, I kind of go lean towards nefarious with all the calls.

But that's just my personal experience. When Josh was up to nefarious shit, he pretty much ignored me. Right. My husband was up to nefarious shit. And called you to tell you how busy he was all the time. Just nonstop calls. So I think it's a 50-50 as with most things. Nonetheless, I'm with her that it is annoying. Annoying. And I just like, I wonder if you could just say like, let's limit it to two phone calls a day.

Like 15th to me. Here's the problem with Josh. I could say you're allowed to call me two times per day and then he would make it funny and he'd call me go. I realize this is my fourth phone call of the day, but I have something super important to tell you. And he'd crack some joke and Josh can be incredibly charming. Right. And funny. And then I would get roped in to giggling about it. So I probably feed this stray cat, you know? Right. And then it keeps coming back. It keeps coming back. You feed a stray cat. They're coming back. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I mean, it's like, God damn.

If you live with him, you're married to him, and you talk 15 times a day. Yeah. That just sounds like misery. The great thing about Josh is I can immediately say, I got to go. I got to go. Click. He doesn't get butt hurt. And he's not butt hurt or thin skin. Only that one time that I went on that pickleball trip. She didn't check in enough. Pickleball causes a lot of jealousy.

and frustration and hateful comments. I'm looking at you, YouTube. I'm looking at you, pumps. There's a jealousy situation. Right. I'm jealous. You're such a great athlete. So competitive. I mean, it just, I lay awake at night worried about it. I know. I know.

Pumps, I've had it up to my eyeballs with you constantly on the internet trying to diagnose yourself with some imaginary disease that you don't have and then calling me and telling me that you're about to die. I've had it. I know. I'm always worst case scenario girl. Get on the internet, go down the rabbit holes. Pretty soon I'm convinced that I'm dying or have leprosy or something awful. Have you heard about this new product called ZocDoc?

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So guys, I have the hardest time finding gifts for my friends because everybody has everything they want. So I think, okay, I'm gonna go buy him a bottle of wine. So then I go to the wine shop and I really don't know anything about wines. But fortunately, Bright Cellars is the wine club that believes anybody can experience the joy of wine. All you have to do is take a quick seven question quiz and they match you with wines from all over the world. And they're all going to be

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Pumps, as much as we're traveling, I really like to eat nuts, particularly pistachios. I love wonderful pistachios because they provide pistachios with no shells. My favorite flavor is the sea salt and vinegar.

You know, I really like jalapeno lime because I like a spicy nut, but they also have a wide range of flavors. There's a wonderful pistachios product for every taste bud and occasion from enjoying with family and friends or taking them with you on the go. Savory, salty, smoky, spicy, or sweet. Wonderful pistachios, no shells flavors are delicious snacks that consumers can feel good about.

Next time you're shopping for snacks and you are craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios No-Shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. Okay, up next we've got Camilla G.,

To start off, I have to say as a Latina growing up in the US, you two are the versions of the ideal white mother that I've always wanted. I have had it, had it, had it, had to say it three times,

With the basic bitches, the Beckys, the Susies, the Katys, the Laurens, posting on Instagram saying, woke up in paradise. No, bitch. You didn't just wake up in fucking paradise. You've been planning this goddamn trip for the last six months in your girl's group, planned out every single outfit, probably spent more on these two-week vacation outfits than you did in your everyday clothing selection. Okay? So, fuck.

F off with the Woken Up in Paradise because we all knew it was a fucking shit show for you to get there. Thank you.

I mean, she's right. It's like... People think people care about their vacation. They don't. I know. They don't. But I'm going to say this. I post more on Instagram when I'm traveling than I do when I'm in town because my in-town life is boring. Right. It's way more fun. But to say woke up in paradise... No, she's 100% right that you do this thing like woke up in paradise. And for all we know, this person could have woken up with...

with cocaine residue under their nose. Right. And like two men in the bed, she doesn't know. Two men in the bed. God only knows what happened. Right. And it could have been a shit show prior to this reveal. Of paradise. That ta-da, I'm in paradise. 20 bucks says they're all dolled up in the picture. It's not just like got out of bed, didn't brush it. It's like a fully coiffed doll woke up in paradise. Yeah. I think that the, I mean, the dolling on for social media is

really real. I bet there are people that never leave their fucking house that wake up doll from top to bottom, do a full blown, you know, like photo shoot solo and then trot it out on Instagram. Like, you know, like they're doing all this shit. I bet there's, there's just a massive level of fraud going on. I mean, if I don't have court or this,

For a client, it's no makeup, leggings. Like I'm not dolling out. You left out one key component. No bra.

Well, if I went to work out, I'd have a bra. But if I'm just tooling around the house, absolutely right. No bra. Sometimes airplane flights, no bra. That's true. But I had a bra to start. You started with a bra, but you haven't been known. To take it off on an airplane. Mid-flight to remove your bra next to a stranger. I've taken my bra off in a lot of weird places that

Like where else? I've taken them off. Well, remember when we were doing the show and we had those deals, I would take it off while we were doing the green screen. Yeah. Always used to take it off in carpool. Oh, restaurants. Yeah. Like if I've just had it. It's just, it's really genuinely like you should be the poster child for free the nip. They have gone about this marketing campaign all wrong because the real poster child, the real model, the real focus,

face of the movement is you. You do it in carpool. You do it in airplanes. You do it in restaurants. You free that nip every opportunity you get. You free the nip. You free the tit. And you do it unapologetically. You do it hot and unbothered. Right. And I'm really good at it. Like if you were talking to me and I took it off, you couldn't even tell. Except for the time you slapped that woman in the face on the plane with your bra. One mistake in all these years. I know. I know. I know.

Okay, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next we've got Katie S. I've had it with people that bring their babies and toddlers to the nail salon. I went a couple weeks ago to get a manicure, and a woman had brought her toddler with her, and he proceeded to run around the whole nail salon screaming, crying, just making a huge fuss, and I could not even enjoy my manicure.

And if you can afford a manicure, you can afford a babysitter. 100% right on that. She's right. Yeah. Where's the lie?

Where is the lie? There isn't one. Toddlers and babies do not belong in nail salons. Period. Period. If you can afford the manicure, if you can afford the pedicure, you can afford a fucking babysitter. Do not take a child, a toddler, an asshole of all.

All kids is the toddler. Do not take your toddler to a nail salon where other people are enjoying their moment of Zen, getting their nails done, getting their feet massaged. They work. They've got fucking kids too. And then you trot your fucking toddler to a goddamn nail salon and let it run amok. That is the worst. That is, that is horrible. It's, it's disgraceful.

Such a lack of self-awareness. Total lack of self-awareness. Nobody thinks your toddler's cute. Right. Everybody goes to a manicure pedicure place. It's like a spa style treatment. It's just like a...

I've had toddlers and back when my kids were toddlers, I was broke. I did not take my toddlers to the hair and nail salon. Absolutely not because other people are there. Other adults are there enjoying their time off, spending their money to have a self-care moment. Right. And you're stealing it. And when you trot your toddler in, when other adults are trying to have a moment of self-care, you are nothing short of a thief. Right.

You are stealing this person's serenity from them. And your toddler is an asshole. And it's probably going to grow up to be an asshole. And this, this has got to stop. Remember Jared Freed, that guest we had on where he talked about the social referee. That's a car. They should be positioned outside manicure, pedicure, hair salons and spas. And if somebody's trotting in with a toddler on their hip, a

immediate red card and send them out. Send them home. In shame. There should be a sign on the nail salon place. Do not bring a toddler. No toddlers. No toddlers allowed. Toddlers are not allowed. Yeah, that does. It ruins a little Zen time. You're exactly right. It does. And there's like, there's all these chemicals, all this shit. I didn't even thought about that. You know, it's a horrible idea. And the mother can't do anything about it because her feet are tied up

And the hands are tied up. So this child's running amok for every single person in the salon to watch him, except her. KDS, I have empathy for you because that's terrible. One million percent. Okay. Last one is Rachel H. Hello, Jennifer and Pops. First of all,

Long time fan. First time fucking caller. But as a citizen of the dumbest state of America, which is Florida, my entire life, I have had it where,

With these dumb motherfuckers that live down here getting offended over other people in other states calling us trash. We are trash. We are literally the small dick of this country. And we make asses of ourselves repeatedly. No one down here has any fucking sense. We're all assholes. And we need to quit it.

I think we need to be annexed myself and I fucking live here. Send us off into the ocean. We deserve it. Love you both dearly. Especially the star and the hotter one. Oh my gosh, I love her. Rachel. Is it Rachel? Rachel. Rachel. I mean, here's the deal. I identify.

With that, because we're from Oklahoma. Right. And you live in these states where you have great friends, a great family, and then you keep watching the news as to what's going on in your state. And these fucking morons that are elected and all this shit that they do. And you're like, we deserve every bit of ridicule that we get. Every bit of it is warranted and worthy. Because it's true.

And she, that is a master class in self-awareness. Absolutely. A total, and she's thick skinned. She's not thin skinned. I like Rachel. I like her so much because there's nothing worse than a butt hurt, thin skinned, titty baby to where if you even put, not even like a truth bomb, but like a truth bomb,

like just a little tiny touch. Their butt hurt. Like when you went off on Florida, somebody's like,

You just lost a follower. I'm from Florida and to blame an entire state for blah, blah, blah, blah. She's just all butthurt. And I'm like, bitch, people can say whatever the fuck they want to about Oklahoma. Yeah. And have been for years. For years. We had a senator that didn't know the difference between climate change and weather. Right.

And took a snowball on the Senate floor as proof that the climate was not warming because there was a cold weather day. And this is like...

He was a senator for God, I mean, like 40-something years. That fucker Jim Inhofe is dumbass. Well, I mean, in the state legislature, you just can't even talk about it. It's so embarrassing how stupid they are. It's so bad. So bad. So Florida, we feel your pain. We do. But we're just acknowledging that right now you're getting all the shit because you're on TV fighting with Disney. Fighting with Disney, fighting with drag queens, upset about pronouns. And here's the deal about pronouns. Upset about books.

Who gives a shit what pronoun somebody wants to call themselves? Right. There are so many things in the world to worry about. That is not one. If that is your big moral dilemma, I'm certain that your Google search history is going to reveal far more nefarious information.

activities going on. If your big moral dilemma is drag queens, I demand to see your Google search history. I demand it. I want to see Ron DeSantis' Google history, Ted Cruz's Google history. I want all their Lindsey Graham. I want that fucker's Google history because I'm telling you something.

It's not good. It is not good. Something's off. Who gives a shit about drag queens? Who cares about pronouns? The other day I used the men's restroom. Do you want to know what happened? Nothing. Fucking nothing. Fucking not a goddamn thing happened. And I don't concern myself with these things. Anybody can see my Google search history at any time.

Sometimes I Google how to look like a yacht captain as a podcasting host. If I can swing for the fences, you can have my Google search history. I've had it. Had it. Had it. Had it. Could not agree more. I started off this episode feeling so positive about my outing. Yeah, you really did take a turn. Collars, I mean, it's in tap the vein and you guys just get that. Just get her all fired up. I'm going to tell you this. I feel good. Do you? I feel like now.

I can go out and face the day. I'm going to be kind. I'm going to be good. I'm really a gracious loser on the pickleball court and a very sore winner. I've got it twisted. No, you absolutely are. Today, if I win a pickleball match, my goal is to be a gracious winner.

A humble winner. Oh, wow. That'll be new. And I'm able to have this vision and this goal because of the therapy that we just engaged in. A lot of growth coming out today, Jenny. I'm going to be a better person. I just love to hear it. Yeah. We learned about cats and what fuckers they are. They're straight up savages. But we don't like cats, but they're clever.

Yeah, they do. They are more clever than dogs. They're really clever at telling people to fuck off and not giving a shit. Yeah. Yeah. I admire that. Yeah. I just would never want one. I've got one. I'm telling you the grass is not greener. It's a fucking problem. She's completely let herself go. Speaking of letting herself go, listener, we've got to go.

Go give us five star review. Write a review. Go to the voice memos. If you have an accent, we're a sucker for it. Right. Love an accent. Obvi. Love all of our international listeners. UK. We want to come there. We want to go on tour there. Fucking blow this shit up in the UK. I fucking love the UK. And we're going to tour in the United States as well. It's just a big fucking country. But we're we're floating this tour thing. So let us know what you think. If you'd like to see I've had it live.

Maybe pumps will take her bra off during a recording. I will pack a hanger just in case. Just in case we get a million? Yeah, just in case. I get the urge on stage. Okay, I like it. Just swap it out and get the hanger on it. All right. Follow, subscribe, do all the shit you're supposed to do. I'm tired of telling you people. Do it all. All of it. All right. And we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday. Bye.