Sad Fishing with Heather McDonald
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Are we ready? Yep. One, two, three. We can roll with it. That's pretty good.

All right. Before we get into what you've had it with, I want to say thank you to all of our listeners for being so supportive now that we have sponsors. Yes. They have not been assholes about it. Right. I was afraid they'd all be like, fuck it. I don't want to listen to that. They were so nice about it. So nice. And so supportive. And we have all these international listeners, which is super exciting. That's like my favorite thing ever. I know. I mean, that's really fun. We are hot shit. It's unbelievable. Yeah.

International hot shit. International hot shit. Not just in the UK with my butt play. Well, Pumps, what have you had it with today? What I've had it with, Jennifer, is bachelorette parties. And let me tell you why. Okay. Back in the day, when you and I got married, you would like go out, you know, dick straws, whatever, bride, wear a little veil, no big deal. Now,

It's like a whole weekend. Right. So it's a girl's trip. So I'm down with that. I can do that. If, if you're not mixing friends, if it's just your group of friends that you love, because we did a couple of those back in the day and the debauchery was just unbelievable. But my point to all this is I had a friend tell me this week, she was invited to a bachelorette party.

At Disney World. Oh, for fuck's sake. I was like, I would tell her, number one, I'm not coming to your bachelorette party. And number two, I don't want to be in your wedding anymore. Why would anyone want to have a bachelorette party at Disney World? Not to mention how expensive it is. Well, these are the same people that are having gender reveal parties.

I guess that's right, but a bachelorette party is supposed to be fun. But these are the same people that are over-celebrating everything. Right. A bachelorette party used to just be one night. Right, one night. Now it's this big weekend that has to be Instagram produced. Right. Everything's just over-produced. It's over-produced, over-celebrated. You can't just go out. Like when we were getting married, we were able to go to a bachelorette party with no cell phones. Correct. Correct.

And get schnockered. Make asses of ourselves with zero evidence. Right. No, that is so true. Yeah. Like I'm thinking of this one bachelorette party that we did in New Orleans. And if there would have been phones, oh my God, it was bad. Oh, yeah. I mean, we were like jello shots off the boobs on the bar. And I do remember waking up.

in front of my hotel room door, like in the hall, outside my door. I had a lucky dog in my hand. Like I'd gotten it, but I never ate it because I passed out in the hall. This is what we call hashtag almost.

You almost made it to that bed. Almost. I mean, you were almost there. Almost there, but I wasn't. Here's my thing. If it's just my group of friends that I love, like what we traveled with, then that's great. But if you've got like the work friends and the husband's friends and all that, it's less fun. Then you've got the overproduction. Then you've got the worry of the cell phone. And then you tell me you have to go to Disney World. Like I'm out. I am out. If your invite list...

starts with I have to include these people so I don't hurt their feelings. You just fucked yourself out of a good time. You absolutely fucked yourself out of a good time. Right. The greatest thing about getting older is you don't give a fuck. No, you can just invite whoever you want to. And if somebody's feelings get hurt, tough titty. It's not my problem. Yeah. You have to move on down the road. The question would be, why do you get your feelings hurt if you're not invited?

I would be delighted. It's a gift. It's a gift. It is a gift to not be invited. Especially to Disney World. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay, lay it on me. And I've really had it with this. Oh, good. So if you're trying to call an airline, a Wi-Fi provider, your bank. Right. A credit card company. You go through a circle jerk of robots. Yeah. Screaming representative. Yeah.

I do that. You take a manual quiz. You enter in the last four of your social, your destination. You've teed up all the information. You've gone through the circle jerk of every department possible of robots. Right. And then finally you get a person. We're talking 30 to 45 minutes later that then has to verify your identity. Right.

You're like, what the hell have I been doing this whole time? Was this just for fun? Right. Because I didn't have any fun at all. It wasn't fun for me at all. And I don't know why. Like if there was an airline that said, when you call us, you will talk to a live human being. I would exclusively fly that airline. Right. If there was a bank that said, when you call us, you will exclusively talk to a human being. I would immediately use that bank. Right.

Here's an example. Last year, Josh and I are at the French Open, Roland Garros. We're about to go see Rafa Nadal play Novak Djokovic. Big match, right? So we go to buy like a French sandwich at the concession stand. And Josh's card, it's like fraud alert. Right. So I have to call Citibank. I'm calling Citibank.

And this woman gets on the phone and she's like, are you in France? I go, yeah, we're in France. It's not a fraud alert. I need the card to work. Right. And she was like, well, I need to verify your identity. So I go through a few questions and then she says, what's your bank account number? And I go, I thought I wasn't supposed to give that information out. Exactly. Make up your mind. Right.

Right. Because they say don't ever give your bank account number to anybody. I bank at Chase. Right. This was a Citibank credit card. So then I'm fighting with this woman. Right. And I'm supposed to be happy because I'm going to go watch Rafa, whom we all know I love. But instead, you're mad. I'm fighting with Citibank trying to confirm my identity. And it's just turned into all this fuckery. And there's the customer service aspect of everything has just been bad.

blown. It's it no longer exists. That's so true. You either have a yak mouth that customer services you to death with too much information on one end of the spectrum. You're like, I want my credit card to work. That's it. That's the list. On the other end of the spectrum, you've got robot circle jerk you have to go through until you finally get online with a real live person that then starts asking you questions where you've received mixed information. Am I supposed to give you my social? Right. I thought it was just the last four.

Right. Anyway, I have had it.

up to my eyeballs. And I just think corporations, y'all make enough goddamn money. We're already tipping everybody for you because you won't pay them a livable wage. We tip way beyond the waiters. We tip everybody to death now. Have a person answer your phone and maybe take five mil off your CEO's employee, you know, base salary so that we can talk to somebody. Right. I've had it.

I'll tell you what is interesting. You know how you said you scream representative? Back in the day when that automated system first came on, if you would just hit zero, you would immediately get an operator. No. They eliminated the zero. No. They completely hang up on you and you have to start over. And then you say representative and they're like, we know you want a representative, but answer a few more questions. Right.

And it's just complete bullshit. It's total bullshit. As you can see, listener, we are wound up like cheap clocks already about nine minutes into the episode. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. We call her Pumps. And there's been a little bit of stuff going on in the comment section about who the star of our show is. Right.

There have been groups of people that say pumps is the star. Right. And now there's been some contradictory evidence where some people are cheering. I've seen a hashtag out there. Have you seen it, Kylie? Hashtag team Jennifer. Hashtag team Jennifer. So, listener, if you will go to Apple after you give us a five-star review for this fantastic sensation of a podcast.

And write in the review who you think the star of the show is. Hashtag Team Jennifer. Please feed our narcissism. Okay, I'm really excited about our guest. Our guest today is fantastic. She is a big deal. Yeah, she really is a big deal. Which kind of makes us a big deal. With all of our international listeners. And this guest. And this hot shit guest. We must be a big deal. Yeah, two plus two equals four, people. Yeah.

Okay, listener. She is the host of Juicy Scoop. Let's get Heather McDonald on here to tell us what she has had it with. Hi, Heather. Hi, thanks for having me. Yes, we're so excited to have you. So we were doing a little online sleuthing about you. Okay. And I came across like, some people think you're dead. Oh, yes. What is that? So I

fainted on stage when I was at the Tempe Improv. I don't know why I fainted. I've never fainted before. I've had every test. I'm perfectly fine. So then they did this movie called Suddenly Dead. It's something like that. And it's about this, you know, on YouTube about how the vaccine works.

like, you know, is causing people to faint and die and die. And then so the guy goes, you know, I'm here to talk about I'm here to talk for the people who are no longer here, you know, and then that was me.

And I was like, I mean, I don't even know what I should be more offended by that. Like no one bothered to type in my name. Like what a nightmare. That is. I mean, not to mention you broke your school. I mean, it kind of was a nightmare. It kind of wasn't. I mean, I finally went viral, but it was like for not the right reasons.

And also like not funny. Like a lot of it was like, this is why chicks aren't funny. I'm like, I agree. Like I do stand for an hour and a half. The closer is your best bit. The closer you don't start with your closer. So I was just like, blah, blah, blah. Hi everybody. Hi Tempe. You know, I wasn't like using my best material the first two minutes, you know? And so I'm like, I agree. Women aren't funny either. Why are we even on this earth? Let's get rid of them.

Well, we're glad you're here. We're glad your skull's okay. I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. Well, this, considering all of that that you went through, you might find this venue somewhat therapeutic. Okay, great. Because what we do is we just do some world-class shit talking. I love it. I follow you guys on TikTok. I love it. And so you kind of cover in your podcast, Juicy Scoop, all the scoop that's going on with the celebs. Yes.

We're on the streets with the people covering all the fuckery that goes on when one goes out among the general public, Heather. Yes. So what we want to ask you, and this is the crux of who you are, tell us what you've had it with. Online, what I've had it with is people filming themselves crying. Oh my gosh, that's me. For likes.

earth why would you do that and there's certain versions there's some where like something happens and you're and I believe that the influencer or reality star or whoever has a big call I believe something happens and they were upset but then I can tell that they had to kind of bring back the tears and they're not good actors try to get that moment back and it's like I'm sorry you guys

It's just so upsetting. And like, I believe this person was upset 15 minutes ago. Right. I just believe that. Right. But it just feels like all of a sudden they're like, oh shit, this is the time to like pick up the phone. Yeah.

The other thing is fucking eating while you're telling a story. Why do I have to see just fucking shoveling shit in your... I don't know. I'm like, as much as I love it all, I also... I've also had it! I've had it! With the crying online, there's a term for this. So you've heard of catfishing, right? Yes. This is called sadfishing. Sadfishing.

Love it. I have not heard that. Kylie, look this up. And so sad fishing is using your sadness to get comments and shares and you're making misery profitable. Yes. And another thing they do is sometimes people do it just like have the phone and they're crying. But I saw another one where the girl...

propped up the phone like to the side of her. So you just see the side of her like this, like this, like, and then she's crying and she writes on it like,

I just went on a date and the guy said, you know, I didn't realize you're 42 and you're too old to date. And so I got in my car and I started to cry. And then I saw that one of the comments was like, so weird. This wasn't even my original idea. It was someone's comment. And it was like, it's so weird how people are filming themselves crying. And it's so weird that she worked on that angle. Yeah.

Totally. It's just, yeah, it's like really, it's really strange. Everything is becoming produced for social media. Your engagement is produced for social media, the gender of your child and on and on. Now we are producing like meltdowns. Yeah. Like a meltdown. You're going to produce it and trot it out on Instagram. And I just, I'm so turned off by that. Like maybe I'm a sociopath and have a problem with empathy. That's a possibility.

But when I see somebody crying online, it is such a turnoff to me. Me too. It's an immediate, I want to immediately pass by it. What about people, and you've probably seen this on social media, where somebody will post like a hospital bracelet and that's it. Yes! That is...

drives me bananas description and it's and then you're like who's in the hospital what's going on and if I don't comment on it I'm trolling and you find out three days later somebody's kid rolled their ankle right you're like are you kidding me that you grandstanded with this cryptic post for three days we think somebody's dying and we've got a rolled ankle that really does piss me off and it's just such a thirsty move if it's not something serious if it is something serious it's

And you want that support, like then yes, but like, yes, when it's nothing big deal. But like, I remember like, that would be, we worked with this one woman when I was on a TV show that really did want attention. So she would like come into the meeting and she'd just have her like arm out, you know, with the cotton ball. And she'd be like,

Just like waiting for us to be like, what happened? You know, pretty soon we were just like, no, we're not going to ask you what's wrong with you anymore. Gypsy or whatever her name is. Yes, I totally. I mean, what's going to be the next thing? You're just going to take a photo of your feet in the stirrups. Like, Pap smear comes back. Okay. Like,

I don't need to know. Well, I want to segue over to your second thing that you've had it with, which is people eating online. And I want to share a story with you and pumps that I've never told pumps before. So I'm an interior designer and this was probably late 2020, early 2021, like right in the COVID era. And a guy emails and he's bought a house, like a two or $3 million house. He wants to completely renovate it. So we schedule a zoom.

He's a physician. The Zoom is probably around 1 p.m. So I get on the Zoom and he's like, oh, hey, nice to meet you. And he puts this huge bowl of noodles in front of him.

and just starts eating these noodles and slurping and hanging out of his mouth. He's talking to me about the potential remodel while like, I can see the food in his mouth. I declined the project just because it was so gross. I did. I'm like, if I can't get through a zoom with this motherfucker, there's no way I can design his house because that's like a year, year and a half long project. And,

You have a very emotional relationship with people whose home you design for. Like you really get in the trenches with them. You know, their dogs, you know, their kids, you know, which of the two spouses is kind of crazy. Right. I couldn't get past the smacking on the zoom. I was like, I'm sorry. I don't think I'm going to be able to take this project on. I don't think I'm a good fit. And I declined it because of this eating on the zoom. Yeah.

And then I bet he was dying to get you then. Right. Is it a matter of money? I'll pay double. Yeah. Like the minute you turn someone down. He did follow up and he's like, can you recommend anybody else? Are you sure you don't want to take the job? And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I just accepted another job. I'm not going to be able to take it. You're like, I can't recommend anybody else, but I know a great Chinese soup place. Yeah.

You might just love those. So Heather, you growing up, we did a little recon on you online. Your mother was a beauty queen. I love that.

Yes. And she would tell you about it all the time. She was a badger beauty at the University of Wisconsin and military ball queen the same year. But, you know, in like 1960 or whatever it was, she was like very hot and very proud of it. Yeah. I would be proud of it too. Did you research when I was actually in a pageant? No. Do share. So I went to go do Miss Tarzana and boom,

There was no talent because it was Miss USA was no talent. Miss America was talent. Do you remember that? So this was part of Miss USA. So there was no talent. But the woman thought I was so funny that she was like, when we get to the part where I ask you questions, I'm going to have you answer a share because I did impressions.

Anyway, I, she was completely smoking, blowing smoke up my ass. And like, we had all these practices before and stuff. And I was like, a hundred percent convinced. Like, I don't know if I want to win, but like, I'm going to go really far in this thing. At the last minute, she goes, Oh, I just got heard from this woman who is also going to join the contest. And she was like a professional pageant girl who like realized that this little shitty pageant in Contraband,

called Miss Tarzana had no idea what the fuck they were doing. She came in and she, she fricking won. Oh, I hate that. Not anybody, not anybody who even, she didn't even live in California. She literally like flew on the plane like two weeks before. She was a ringer. She was a ringer. I brought in a ringer to the Miss Tarzana. That's some bullshit. And then I did not even make the top 10. You know what? I have a,

I have a very flat ass and I just don't think you can have a flat ass and be in a pageant. Yeah. You miss America with a flat ass. It is a TNA contest. I mean, there's no doubt about it. Right. Yeah. And I never knew I had a flat ass until like seven years ago. Oh, that must have been alarming. Who told you?

Oh, when, when, when big asses got in is when people let me know I didn't have one. Well, the thing is, you know, you don't know because you don't see it. Right. So like your whole life, you're like, oh my God, I look great in this dress. Like, oh, my boobs look good. Like, oh, I have nice legs. And then like, you didn't realize that everyone behind you was like miserable. You know, you didn't know that's the way it was.

And I always think that too, because you guys were on a reality show. I'm always like, God, I think it's hard to be on a reality show because I would have to see myself walking like the back of me. Yeah. I mean, I've seen it when I've acted and stuff, but you don't, you know, you don't see it as much as you would on a reality show. Also like the back of your hair is a big thing. It is a big thing. And hearing your voice.

You know, you're so into the entertainment industry by now, but the first time we were on the reality show, when I would hear my voice... Like, who is that? I was like, it's a really weird thing to hear your own voice because it sounds different in your head than it does. And then seeing yourself on TV, I mean, that was such a trip. Yeah, it was weird. Well, whenever I was on TV, like whether it was a guest spot or I was on Chelsea Lately...

I would, I would watch it, but sometimes I'd put it off. Like I'd put it, I would be on the DVR. In fact, like the one time I was on watch what happens live, I actually never watched it. And then like one day I came home and my husband's like, I got a better deal on the dish network. And I'm like, no. And then it was like off the TV, you know, like it was disappeared. I had no idea. But anyway, I didn't, I would always kind of like, Ooh, like kind of dread it. Sometimes I'd be presently surprised and whatever. But when I first did the podcast, I was like, okay, I'm going to do it.

I didn't know how I'd feel about hearing my voice, you know? And I loved it. Did you? I have no problem listening to the podcast ever. I listen to it and my son goes, what kind of monster listens to their own podcast? I'm like, me?

Her son, this is so funny because he'll text me all the time. Her oldest son, she has three. He'll text me all the time and he'll say, Hey Jen, my mom is just sitting there watching your reels on Instagram and your TikToks and she's dying laughing at the two of you. I mean, it's just, and I can picture her doing it and I think it's rather adorable that she loves it so much. So we get one of the internet memes that people throw at us on TikTok or on YouTube or Twitter is,

is that they say that we look like the White Chicks. And I think you're very familiar with... Yes. So, yes, I wrote White Chicks with the Wayans brothers. I worked on Keenan and Ivor Wayans' late night talk show. Then they brought me in to write this other movie that got shelved that was kind of going to be like a parody of Alien movies. And then I saw that they sold the idea of this movie about...

they basically was, it was a spoof on Paris and Nikki Hilton in the two thousands, you know, when they were like running havoc and, you know, the Hamptons. So then they had this idea. And so then I was like, are you going to have me write on this movie? Because I mean, I think you need at least one white chick consultant, you know, like,

And so they already had like the movie and kind of the characters, whatever, but then I went in and contributed and wrote some scenes that I got to be a part of because I got to be the salesperson in the scene where Marlon and Sean are trying on clothes with the girls and

And, you know, I love I love that it's like such a hit and such a cult favorite and that like people are like learning the dances. And I love that movie. And my kids and I, I mean, we would watch it like if everybody was bored, it was like, oh, my God, what are we going to do? Let's watch White Chicks and everybody could get on board with that. And we did do the dances and all that.

So, you know, people always say, is there going to be a white chicks too? Is there going to be a white chicks too? And, you know, I don't, I mean, I'm, I'm not like in touch with the guys and stuff, but like, you know, we follow each other and everything. And I always said, you know, and this was like years ago, like seven years ago, I go, if they ever write a white chicks too, because it was about, you know, Sean and Marlon were FBI agents who then had to be women to solve this crime.

And I'm like, it has to be now that they're older. It has to be that a real housewife has caused a crime and they have to go solve it.

Seven years later, we've got Jen Shawn prison. I mean, like, I still think that's the way they got to go. They've got to, if they ever want to do it, they have to infiltrate Real Housewives and stuff. But then I think with, you know, the trans movement, I think then they said, oh, we can't do this now. We can't pretend to be women because it's at a... But now I feel like, I feel like now the pendulum's swinging back where people are like...

Who cares? That's not what it was about. And the fact that like women, there isn't one white woman that I have ever heard from of any point that was like, I was offended that you had an anorexia joke in there. Like, are you kidding me? Right. I love that so many people like it and that it was, you know.

It's still so well received. And they and everyone gets that it was like so all in just like good fun and comedy. And like it wasn't anything bigger than that. And I wish more things would be like that. But so true. Well, Heather, we have a game we call had it or hit it. And so I'm going to list some things off and you tell us if you've had it with that or if you would hit it. Oh, my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it.

I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. Ozempic. I think it's a fucking wonder drug. And I think people, I think what the, what the real thing is, the people that are being nasty about it are people in the diet industry that are like, what the hell am I going to do now? So trying to be like, don't go on it. But I think why people are against it are like people that were always had the privilege of being thin and

But they don't want to see the rest of the world or their friend that maybe was even prettier in the face than them also be gay.

like they don't like they're like you could have one thing you could either have that pretty face and be a size 10 because i'm a size zero and i look like skeletor and i'm not gonna you're no no fair you you cheated you cheated you took it away from diabetes i'm like like like they literally went to like a diabetic ward and like took shots out of people's hands as they like are like in a you know falling over down this that's not the case like right the doctor's like do you want it and you're like yeah

Yeah, I guess I do. Why not? Yeah. I mean, like, what the hell is wrong with people? Like, so I say I've had it with the the anger towards it.

I am with it for any kind of thing that is working for someone, whether it's a diet drug or a Spanx sucking you in and make you feel better. I mean, is that cheating? Is getting braces cheating? Did God mean for you to have fucked up teeth? I mean, God created plastic surgeons. Yeah.

You know, they're humans too. So are their talents not supposed to make us feel better? Is it cheating that you put mascara on your eyelashes because you really aren't supposed to have that dark of eyelashes? Like, yeah. Okay. Had it or hid it. Nick and Vanessa Lachey.

So I did watch the, the love is blind. They were pretty, she basically, he barely spoke in the reunion and I don't know why he got in trouble. Well, I don't know. Well, he got in trouble, you know, for, he has to go to anger management. Do you know about that? I heard that, but what'd he do? Oh my God. It was so like 2006. It feels so weird. He and Vanessa were out like in Beverly Hills and,

On a busy street. And this female paparazzi saw them and she whipped, you know, snapped her camera. He freaks out and starts to like scream at her and tries to like grab her camera or her phone through her window and all this stuff. And so, uh,

It was so bizarre. So I felt like that whole thing was to get attention somehow. Right. So I'm going to say I've had it with them. And I do think you need professional hosts to do those type of shows because you need someone who knows how to move the show along. Right, right. But I don't really think they're it. I think now that you say that, I predict they'll get fired. I don't think they're going to be fired, but I think they will. That's the hot take. Had it or hid it? Cats. Currently, I don't have a cat. But I did have...

a couple cats in my life, two cats in my life. See, I hate cats. I think cats are great, but I'm not looking to get another. Because they are kind of bitchy and they don't really cuddle up or anything. I have a cat and she is overweight.

She has diabetes. She totally needs to be on Ozempic. She's like 14. She's lazy. She doesn't groom herself. I have to brush her. She drives me fucking crazy, but I'm such a nut about taking care of my animals. So I give her diabetes shots. I do all the stuff I'm supposed to do. But every time the vet comes and my vet is excellent, she is an excellent vet. I'm like,

Tiffany, how long do you think we're looking at here? Like, what's the math on that? She goes, well, girl, cats live a long time. And I'm like, she's 14. With diabetes. With diabetes. But I wonder if they have like cat ozymic. I might like her better if she got in better shape. I mean...

Maybe she can take care of herself better. She doesn't groom herself. And I have her on the diet cat food. And this thing is ballooned up like you wouldn't believe. It's just unbelievable. This cat. I just don't like cats, period. Good luck with her. Thank you. Good luck. Had it or hid it, Tom Sandoval. Well, I've definitely, I mean, I've had it with him as a person, but like the drama of it is really fascinating. And the reason why is,

is because I know a lot of people are like, why are we still talking about this? And the reason it is so fascinating is in the history of all reality shows from the beginning of time, there has been infidelity. There has been cheating. There has been, you know, someone's husband who's fooled around or fooled around with a man, even rumored to be whatever. But there's never been two cast members that carried on a covert affair where they deceived their cast members and their partners completely.

And their best friend all for seven months while cameras rolled. Well, I mean, I hear about it. I don't watch that show, but I hear about the tidbits and the girls that work for me, they're millennials. And I mean, they are like tap the vein, inject it in. It's so good. They cannot get enough of it. And I knew with your podcast, you would be all up in that shit.

Yeah, I think I just thought it was like fascinating and weird. Yeah, I think that's why. And I think people are just like, what would I do in that situation? And who's truly wrong? And then like, how far has it gone? And, you know, what's the truth? And then when you watch it,

It's like now you go back and you can see all these little like moments. Right. Like, oh, my God. And so it's almost like watching an episode of like a clue or a dateline or something. But it's Vanderpump because you're like, oh, my God, look in the corner. So I think it's almost like an interactive like viewing situation now. Right. You know, good looking dude cheats on girlfriend. That is not a big news flash. But best friend. Yes. Yes.

That is the part where I've been hit on by married men, and I'm sure y'all have been too. And my response is always like, are you kidding me? You're married? That's disgusting. I mean, I slice and dice the man immediately for the sake of women.

Like, you know, there's a million fish in the sea, buddy, and you ain't it. Like that is not happening. And I let him know because I think it's just so disgusting and disrespectful to him. I think it's disrespectful to me. And I think it's disrespectful to the wife and or live in girlfriend. And so that I can see that component being really titillating because you expect your girlfriends to have your back.

back right and to advocate for you when you're not around particularly with your boyfriend or partner or husband and so that is just an egregious girl code violation total now he's not off the hook he is a motherfucker no doubt about it he deserves all the brow beating he's getting but

But the betrayal for the girl that was cheated on, that is such... It's a double whammy, too. It's the person you're dating and your best friend. I mean, it's like really bad. That would be like if you fucked Josh. Oh, God. Oh, God.

But, you know, it is interesting what you're saying about how like men would kind of hit on you. And I do think that's true, you know, as we were moms at schools or whatever. Right. You know, you're doing stuff with other couples and you're doing stuff with dads and you're doing the chili cook-off and whatever. And there'd be like...

what I call fishing. Totally. They're kind of fishing. It's not a full hit on. It's like, oh, what Starbucks do you go to? Or, or, um, yeah, you know, I remember being a babysitter at 12 years old and I was babysitting the girls. Like I'm having a party, but I just want you to like come and help with the kids. Fine. So I'm like in the kitchen and I'm seeing this, these two married couples and the girls shaking a martini thing. And the

someone else's husband is like, oh, do that again. And she goes, and he's like, yeah. And I remember being 12 and being like, oh, those two are fucking like, I do like what?

It's true. They throw out a fishing line. Right. And they see. So there's degrees of hitting on. Married men do it in degrees. They throw out a line, like a text that is innocuous at first. Yes. But your husband's not copied on it. And it's like, hey, where did you say that you bought those, you know, nice filet mignons? And you're like, whole foods. It's always about meat. Yeah.

But and then that's just the way it goes. But then you get to the most, you know, the most direct. Come on. And I've had men do that to me before. And that's when I tell me I want to hear then what's the most direct? Tell me. OK, I remember which one? The crazy train. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. OK, so I got this text message from this guy who's an attorney, practiced law in the same circles that my husband did.

He sends me a text and I'm, I mean, this is verbatim. It's like, Hey Jennifer, how's it going? You know, they now have trains from Oklahoma city to Chicago. And I thought it would be so fun if you and I went and spent the weekend in Chicago. I don't think Joe Josh would mind too much, but I mean, if you want it, I could get separate cabins, but maybe we could share one. And I am like,

What? What in the actual fuck did this motherfucker just send me? I immediately call her. This is what, 15 years ago? Right. I immediately call her and I'm like, brace for impact. We couldn't believe it. Here comes the dramatic reading. And I read it to him. We're dying laughing. Of course, I immediately read it to my husband because I'm like,

This is just incredible. I was incredulous that somebody was so brazen. So brazen. From that date have called it the crazy train to Chicago date. How did you respond? I think I just said, you know, his name. Thank you so much for the invitation, but I am married and have at the time I had a baby and a toddler and I'm not going to be able to make it. And I think that would be disrespectful to Josh.

I mean, clearly the man... I didn't say, like, you're sick, you're gross, but I think I was so shocked at how direct it was. The crazy train to Chicago. Yeah. So my mom, back in the day, my dad was in advertising, like, he was straight out of, like, Mad Men. Like, if you ever watched that show, he was literally, like, that guy. So...

My dad would like, would always be like, tell my mom with like hardly any notice, like I'm bringing this client over this boss over whatever. So they, she'd make some like fabulous dinner, like some 1970s dinners of like, you know, deviled eggs. I don't know what people had back then. And,

And then like the next day, the guy showed up in the middle of the day at the door and she's like, oh, hi. She's like, well, Bob's not here. He's, you know, at the office. And he goes, I know.

Oh, my gosh. I just came to see you. That's creepy. And she's like, well, would you like some lemonade? And he goes, yeah, I would. She was so, like, innocent. My mom was so innocent. Like, she didn't even realize that he was absolutely, like, this is the 70s. You know, I guess people were swinging, whatever. And my mom was really hot, as she told the world. Yeah.

And so I think that whatever she... And she was really charming and outgoing. So he probably, whatever, thought that she was somehow flirting with him, which she would never. She was super Catholic and like virgin when she was married and stuff. But so she...

She still after like now my parents are old and they like tell us the story. And I'm like, dad, like did, when did you find out about the story? He's like, I didn't find out about it until like two years ago. And my dad was a Marine and stuff. And she's like, I knew if I told your father that he would like beat him up, lose his job, right. All this stuff. So I, you know, I had to be very politely, like I'm not interested and I would never cheat on my husband and like, please leave now. And I won't say anything. And she never did. But like, I was like, oh man,

Oh, and then here's the other juicy story that happened in our neighborhood. My there was this couple next door to my parents and my mom would wanted to get these Girl Scout outfits for my sister and I. So she goes to the lady and she's like, you know, your girls are older. Can I get those Girl Scout outfits? Do you think we could have them instead? And she was like a real bitch about it. And she was like, no, whatever. No, I don't think so. I was like, OK, said all of a sudden she goes to her mailbox and this

She gets this letter that was accidentally put in her mailbox, like hand put in, not mailed, that was meant for the woman. And it was this love letter from the woman's Protestant pastor. And they were clearly screwing and she was married with kids. And so my mom opened up the letter and like brought it next to the envelope and knocked on the door and said, hey, you know, I'm so sorry. I guess this mistakenly got put into...

my mailbox. And then the woman's eyes just were like, you know, this big. And then she said, any chance you want to reconsider giving us those Girl Scouts? And she was like, yeah, so I'm going to get, you got her everything. Do you want anything else? You know, like. Oh, that's good stuff right there. So yeah, like there, it's like, it's so funny, you know, cause it's like, yeah, all that you always think like older people were like, so, you know, innocent. Cause they're all just like, oh,

But they're the ones that are like lived the wildest lives. Right. They just didn't talk about it. Nor did they produce it on their smartphones. Nor did they put it. Nor was there Facebook evidence or anything of the sort. Because, you know, they were able to do a lot more crazy shit than we. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. When your husband can't like track your phone and your wife can't, you know, read your text messages on the iCloud. Like, yeah, there's a lot of cheat. There's a lot of it.

Bones make it easier to cheat, but it's also makes it very easy to get caught. Totally. Totally. Totally. Well, Heather, we cannot thank you enough for joining us on I've Had It. We too have had it with the produced Misery podcast.

online. And I will never work for that guy that gave me that eating interview to design his house. I mean, that was a hard pass to say the least. But thank you so much for joining us. You're a big deal. And to come on this little podcast of ours means the world to us. Thank you so much, Heather.

Well, thank you. Thank you. And I'll just do my plugs. It's Juicy Scoop every Tuesday, Thursday. I have Patreon on Friday, which is all my more intimate stuff. Everything is at HeatherMcDonald.net. I do have a bunch of shows happening this summer from Vegas to San Diego, Napa, San Francisco, East Coast.

So, and I hope people come see my standup. Some are live juicy scoops. Some are like con combos and I have other funny comedians with me. So please check it out and come see us live. And it's really great talking to you guys and congratulations on your success. I think that this is really fun that, you know, you guys were so funny together. I'm glad that you are able to still work together and, you know, be part of the podcast world. Yeah, it's been, we love it. It is so much fun. It's so much more fun, I think. Yeah, we like it more than the TV world.

For sure. Yes. Yeah. Good. Good. Great. All right. Thanks so much, Heather. Have a great day. Bye. Bye, Heather. I had totally forgotten about the crazy train story.

I knew that was the immediate story. I mean, that was just fucking unreal. That was unbelievable. Surely that was like before smartphones, I would get anything to have a screen. I had a cell phone, so it was a text message, but I don't think it was like a smartphone where you could take a screenshot. No, I think we were still doing the AAA. Yeah. Yeah. Back in that day. I mean, it was a long time ago, but yeah, that was bad. I remember the kids were so, so little. And I remember I would just be like,

Crazy Train. I mean, we would just die laughing no matter where we were. If we started singing Crazy Train or it came over the radio, you and I would die laughing. And then I would see this guy all the time at Starbucks in my neighborhood. And he was always like smiling and wanting to talk to me. And I was literally just like...

We are not talking. We're not talking. We're not going to Chicago. We're not having sex. None of it. None of it's happening. None of it. None of it is happening here in the Starbucks, on the crazy train. It's not happening. Not happening. No. Oh, my gosh. Well, listener, we cannot thank you enough for joining us today. Please go rate our podcast on Apple and write a review. And in the review, reveal whom you think.

is the star of our show. And Kylie is also a candidate. Or Richard. Or Richard. That's correct. And Heather McDonald, which is so much fun. She's a blast. Fantastic. So good. So good. You can see why she's had an incredible career in the entertainment industry while we faceplant.

That is so true. Join us on Patreon. Subscribe there. Follow us on social media. If you don't already, you're missing out on all of these fantastic reels that Kylie literally makes. And then it's like a little child throwing a grenade in TikTok and then turning around and walking up. And we have no idea it's happening. Yeah. And everybody's just wound up in the comment sections. It's great shit. All right. We will see you next Tuesday. Or Thursday. That's right.