Attention Sneezing Personality Disorder
25:32 Share

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Okay, welcome to I've Had It. My name is Jennifer and I am a supporting member of the cast here. The star of our show in multiple countries and 49 states is my best friend. Hi, I'm Angie. And we call her Pops.

49 states. 49 states. Florida does not like you. No, Florida. And you don't like Florida. No, I do like Florida. Okay, that's news to Florida. Well, but, okay, I'm not going to beat that horse, even though I could for hours. Okay. So, listener, first and foremost, we want to let you know that we are available on Patreon. Woohoo! And we are going to be following a lot of things on Patreon, a lot of behind the scenes, ask us anything, anything.

Pump's journey into lesbianism and her journey into TikTok and what her For You page, what it produces. What is Pump's talk? Right. And I'm going to show you guys live feeds of her For You page on TikTok, which I think is going to be like a John Hopkins case style study. Yeah.

into pumps. Don't you think Kylie? I do. I'd love to see the inner workings of your brain. Right. Richard, what do you think is going to be on pumps for you page on Tik TOK? I don't know. The earlier episode I was thinking about for some reason, ass. Yeah.

Yes. Her ass has gone viral in the United Kingdom. Right. In the UK press. Right. Well. But you know what's so fun about today, Pumps? What? We get to hear from our listener. Which is the funnest. It is so fun. Yeah, it's the best. I love it. It is the best. Kylie and Richard, who's up first? Up first, we've got Jeff B. Jeff B. Hi, Jenny and Pumps. I am so excited that I get to do this.

So I've had it with people bringing their dogs everywhere. Jenny, I know that you're very attached to your dogs, but look, me personally, I've had it. I work at a restaurant, like it's very busy over the summer and we offer outdoor seating and all there is, is just dogs everywhere. I

I don't want to be at a public place enjoying my meal when there's dog hair flying everywhere. It's just so annoying. Keep your dogs at home. It's okay. They'll miss you for a couple hours. Give them a treat if you have to. But I've had it with people bringing their dogs everywhere.

Jeff B., I'll go ahead and start. Jeff B., I think that is a brilliant deduction. For example, when we film the podcast, every now and then you'll hear the dogs barking because you bring them to work every day. And if you're out of town, Josh brings them to work. Like they work here. They have jobs. They have jobs. I'm sorry that your dogs are underachievers, losers. And do not have jobs. Deadbeats without jobs. But my dogs are

are employed. So when I'm not at work, they still have a job. They have to be at work. Yeah, no, I agree because we were just at the restaurant. We go to lunch out all the time. And I saw this older woman and she had the dog and it had the whatever you call it, service animal.

And I mean, she laid out a mat. I mean, I watched the whole thing and I was just like, you could have just left the dog at home. Lots of work with these dogs everywhere. I saw you giving that woman the evil eye. Yeah. And I knew what was going through your head. Leave the dog at home. It's a dog. It's not a human, which I know you haven't...

an issue with that. I don't call them humans that you love them more than humans. I do, but I'm just saying like at a restaurant that he can't, I mean, he's so right about the dog hair. I looked over and I saw that woman eating with her dog and it warmed this cold black heart pumps and Jeff B. Yeah. And I thought it was adorable. Yeah.

And I would much rather a restaurant have dogs in it than babies and toddlers. Well, I mean, I agree with both. Why can't we ban both toddlers, babies and dogs? I would agree with banning toddlers and babies. But again, like if you go to a restaurant in Europe, they can take their dogs places. I know, but they also smoke cigarettes like crazy. Not indoors any longer. Well, yeah.

But I'm just saying, like, I don't know. I mean, I personally think it's unnecessary to take your dog everywhere. It's not the dog's fault, the species of canine's fault that you and Jeff B. hate dogs. Okay. I don't hate dogs. I just don't think they have any place in a restaurant.

Well, I guess seeing eye dog. Yes. That dog, when we were at lunch and this was like two or three days ago, that dog did not make a noise. There was a yak mouth, two tables over a grown man that made a ton more noise than that dog did. Right. But I just, it just seems a little over the top that you have to take your dog everywhere. Like I was, when you first got tubby, the service animal designation, um,

I was like embarrassed to tell people that you just bring the dog that I would want to tell him you had like diabetes or something, because at least that's a medical reason why you would have a dog. There's all of this is always geared from the human perspective. Okay.

I wonder why. The dog, these dogs have massive anxiety, particularly Tubby before I got Cha-Cha. I mean, when I would go out of town, Pumps, he would go on a four to five day hunger strike, completely depressed.

dejected, demoralized, he felt abandoned. And all you think about is just my feelings. And you never think about my dog's feelings. You never think about the feelings of dogs, which makes me wonder why we're friends and if we should continue doing this podcast. I will tell you though, I mean, my mom is the worst offender. She has sworn off any more trips until after the dog dies because the last time they went out of town and

It stayed with somebody and cried all day, every day for seven days. Didn't eat. That's what they do. And everything's geared about the person. Dogs have feelings too. No, I know. But she makes a steak every night, cuts it up and feeds it to the dog every night. And I'm like, the reason the dog's on hunger strike and the reason Tebby gets so depressed when you're gone, it's because, I mean, you say I am over mothering my kids and

You are the biggest helicopter over mother dog mother in the history of the planet. Huge difference. There's a huge difference here. What's the huge difference? I'll tell you the big fucking difference. Okay. Life expectancy. Okay. Mensa. No, I'm really worried about my mom when Max dies. And when Tebby goes, here's what you have to do. When a dog dies, you grieve for a week to two weeks tops.

And then you have to immediately get a new dog. Right. I think get a new dog like six or eight months before the old dog dies. I think that's a better transition. But I mean, you don't like dogs. So I love dogs. Or Florida. I like both. But I just like Blaze. I actually love that dog so, so much. But the hair. Well, what I think I'm going to do is plan a girl's trip for us to Florida. And we're going to take Cha-Cha and Tubby.

And we're going to go to Florida with the dogs. And the dogs are going to go everywhere with us. And Jeff B. We're going to come to your restaurant. We're going to come to your restaurant. And I'm bringing my dogs. And I love that Jeff B. called me Jenny. I do too. That's what Pumps calls me. Yeah, I don't. Because very few people call you anything but Jennifer. That's right. Right. Because I went by Jenny in high school. You did? Yeah, lower school.

And then my nephews call me Aunt Jenny. Aunt Nanny. And then you and some of my other friends call me Jenny. Right. I like it, Jeff. And Jeff B. But Jeff B., I just want to say that

If I were you, I would seek some sort of therapy for the sociopathy that you and Pump share in never taking into account the feelings of the dog. You're only taking into account the feelings of humans, which one could argue is like human supremacy. And I think canines need to be put on the same level.

Right. Jeff just ignored that jet stream of bullshit. And I stand with you on no dogs in the restaurant. All right. Fuck you, pumps. All right. Jenny, do you remember the vitamins, supplements and powders I was telling you about from Care Of? Yes. After you told me about them, I took their online quiz about my lifestyle and health goals. And now Care Of sends personalized documents.

doctor-backed supplements right to my front door. The individual packs are so convenient, I can easily take them each day with my iced tea. It is such a huge relief to me, Pumps, that you are now offsetting this iced tea addiction with something that is healthy and good for you.

Since I started using Care-of, I see a huge difference in my hair and skin. They're making both so vibrant. I have noticed since you've been using this product how vibrant you look. And as the star of our show, it's critical that you always look vibrant.

Now that I use Care-of each day, Jenny, the sky is the limit for my stardom. To shine bright like pumps, you can get 50% off your first Care-of order. Go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code HADIT50. Again, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code HADIT50. All right, Kylie, what's next? Up next, we've got Carrie.

People who fucking scream when they sneeze is I have had it with those people. You clearly just want attention and that is absolutely not necessary ever. How about you just shut the fuck up and sneeze like a normal person? That's a good one. It is good. Yeah, it is good. And it happens. Achoo!

Yeah. Yeah. It is a huge attention seeker. There are, yeah, there are dramatic sneezers. Right. Emily's a dramatic sneezer. Oh, she's a major dramatic sneezer. Yes. And she, once she starts, it's like a compulsion. She'll do like 50 sneezes in a row. She can't stop when she gets going. It's like hiccups. Yeah. That's not fair.

Because you can't help it. Is that what you're going to say? That's not fair. You can't. I'm a dramatic sneezer. See, there you go. See, this is what happens. See, we know who the offenders are because all you do is look for the butthurt. The people that are butthurt about the habits are the offenders. Enter Richard, dramatic sneezer. Has your wife ever complained about your sneezing? Everybody complains about it because it's loud. It's aggressive, but I can't help it. It's like, ugh. Yeah.

Kylie, are you a dramatic sneezer? No, and I hate sneezing. It's like pet peeve. I hate when other people sneeze around me. Yeah. I don't say blessing. I'm like, stop. Stop already. I will tell you, after COVID, and they did those projections of how far your sneeze travels. It's pretty gross. And when we laugh, how far it travels. I viewed sneezing through a different lens since then. But-

I will say, Keri, the dramatic sneezers, that is, I'm really glad you brought attention to this. Right. Because I don't think this is getting enough attention in the press. I don't think I've read one article about it in my entire life until Keri just called in with this. She cracked the case. She totally cracked the case. And I think dramatic sneezing needs to be addressed.

And we need to know what is the psychology behind it. Is it attention sinking, Richard? I don't feel like Richard's an attention seeker at all. I'm down to find a cure for it. They can find a cure for it, a nasal spray. I'm down for it. I'll be in clinical trials for it. I like it. Okay. All right. I do want to say the first time Emily was up here, I was facing my computer. She's sitting with you guys.

And she starts, it was like 16 sneezes in a row. Oh my gosh, were you dying? I like panicked. I'm turning around and I look at you guys. No one else was panicked. And so I was like, she just does this. She just does this. Yeah, she does. Your skin was just crawling. I was like, oh my God, someone help her. No, it's, I've been around Emily her entire life. So I'm used to it. But it is, it's not normal. It's not normal. Yeah.

She probably can do like 10 in a row. No, I think it's more like what Kylie was saying. Like 16. When we were in Mexico, I remember there was one day, it was just like the whole day was a series of Emily sneezing. I wonder if she has allergies. I think it's just a sneezing compulsion. Yeah.

Sneezing compulsion. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll see. All right. Emily's going to be so mad at us. Oh, God. We're going to get our asses chewed. Yes. She's going to be mad. I'm going to block her. Okay. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, do you remember that time that my marriage was absolutely falling apart and I would go to my therapist like three times a week? Yeah.

I do remember that because coincidentally, my marriage was falling apart and I too was going to a therapist two or three times a week. Those were some dark days, but thank God we went to see a therapist to sift through all of that insanity. I don't think I could have ever gotten through that period of life without having a great therapist. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's convenient because it's all online, so it's flexible with your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential at BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it.

Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Gabby. I have had it with YouTube ads. They have YouTube ads have gotten psychotic. They're all like, LOL, you fucking cunt. You're still getting your prescription lenses from a doctor. Like what is going on? What is going on?

What stage of capitalism are we at? Where every five seconds on this godforsaken application, am I being sold something in the most cunty way possible? I've had it.

All I can tell you, Gabby, I immediately need your phone number. Right. We have to be best friends. We need to be our best friend because that shit is so good from top to bottom. Every adjective, every detail, the delivery. The presentation was fantastic. It was so good. And it is so true. So I started, I'm not a big YouTuber, but sometimes Kylie will send us our episodes to watch on YouTube. So I watch them.

And not only are the ads awful, like it just jumps in mid-sentence. Right. No, there's...

placement of the ads on YouTube. It's terrible. It is awful. Because I look for the Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert monologues. Right. Like, I'll do that pretty much every day. Just kind of see what's going on. And they do. They're like mid-delivery and it's like a commercial. But the commercials that I noticed were like the social security card. Maybe it's just old people. It's because you're old. Thank you. You're welcome. But so they're just mean. They shame you while they sell.

And it's just... Call you names. The ad placement drop. It's like the plane's about to land and the person's like, the thesis sentence is halfway delivered and you're waiting for the delivery. And then the shitty YouTube ad comes in. And it's just like, where is the oversight, YouTube? I mean, you need to...

It's like a multi-billion dollar company. Get some smart, young whippersnappers in there and clean this shit up. Gabby, you're on to something. Yes, absolutely. I don't know that this is getting enough attention in the press. Surely, I would think people complain about that shit

all the time because it's bad. YouTube ads, but here's the deal. They don't care because they're YouTube. Everybody just goes on it all the time. Now they have like YouTube TV and these companies that are too big to fail oftentimes need to keep delivering a good product. Right. And Gabby, I think that this is something that is a- It's pretty universal for sure. LOL. Yeah, that's good stuff.

I can't wait to listen to that one again. I know. I want to hear that again. I mean, that is so good. Gabby, I love you. You are like 1000%. Like everything you said, I felt it deep in my bones.

That was great. Yeah, love you. I mean, I'm really starting to get sick of pumps, so I'm going to call you Gabby. Replace me with a newer model. I'm going to call you Gabby. Okay, who's next? All right, the last one is Victoria. Okay. I've had it with celebrity businesses. They all have makeup lines and skincare lines and shapewear and cookbooks. You're already fucking millionaires. Knock it off. She's kind of right. I mean, you do. They're all like...

Jessica Alba has that organic company. Diapers. Doesn't she have like baby stuff? Honest. Honest. Honest. Yeah. It's like baby diapers, right? No. It's baby stuff. It's more than that though. All organic like creams and lotions. I think for adults too. I don't know. I don't know. Adult diapers? The adult diapers I buy. No, I mean, yeah, there are like Gwyneth Paltrow with goop. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, there's a lot. I think what they're doing a lot with this is they are putting like it's an idea that somebody has and then they find a celebrity that gets a percentage too. And I mean, don't get it twisted. If Stanley Cup came to you with your very own Pumps Line Stanley Cup, I mean, I think you would dry hump that fucking Stanley Cup.

All the way to lesbian TikTok. I mean, I think you would ride that fucking thing. You would scissor that cup like nobody's business. Right. I mean, I do love that. I mean, that's a great point. You would. I totally would. Totally. So cash in on the... My God, can you imagine if I opened up my cabinet and I had a Stanley Cup in every color? How happy I would be. It's a part of your life that I just don't like to think about. Yeah.

That and just how horrible you are to animals. Oh, shut up. Those two things. Oh, my God. You're ridiculous. Those two things combined. Yeah. Maybe you could, you know what you could do. What? Victoria, I know that you've had it with this, but I think it could be somewhat therapeutic for pumps to,

One part of Stanley that I think I would support is if it was a dog bowl that kept the dog water refrigerated at all times for the dogs. That's how Stanley could get me in. Humans...

Fuck that. They're not getting refrigerated water. But if my precious little smushed face angels could have their refrigerated water at all times. You might come over to this dark side. Yep. But as a person, you will never catch me walking around with an oversized beverage with a straw with lipstick. It's not that bad. I wash. I mean, it might be a little bit stained. It's disgusting. It's not that bad. She's over the top. You're traumatizing that. I'm going to put it on Patreon. Okay.

You're going to steal it and put it on Patreon? Yeah, it's disgusting. It's not that bad. It is bad. It's really not that bad. Okay, we're not going to agree. Let's just agree to disagree. But it's more fun to tell each other to fuck off over and over. Fuck you and get off my Stanley straw. You know what I would almost love as much as a Stanley cap? I mean, it's close.

Remember my make a wish that I wanted to go down to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader office and follow their director around? Sadly, I do. Yeah. Like that would be almost – I'd be almost as happy. So if you could go hang out with the director of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders but you could never have a Stanley Cup again –

Or Stanley Cups for the rest of your life? What are you picking? Oh my gosh, that is just like Sophie's Choice. That would be so hard. I would kind of lean toward the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders because it's not on the TV anymore. Okay, let me ask you this. Would you rather go to a women's softball game or to the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader tryouts? Okay.

For sure, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders tryout. Oh, really? Right, because you have like a lot of softball games. What if it was the World Series and it's the University of Oklahoma and the College World Series finals, the best seats ever or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders tryouts? I mean, those College World Series games are a blast. They really are so fun. Oh, yeah. I'm sure it's just – people, I'm sure, bring the cocaine and Molly and it's just a big fucking – She just tickers and blows the whole time. Yeah.

No, I don't know. Jennifer, that is really terrible. I'll have to think about it. Okay. Well, I'm just, you know, pins and needles dying to find out. Which I would rather do. Now, okay. If I got to be a judge for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders tryouts. Yeah. For sure that. Because I love it when they lean over to each other and go, she's just not DCC ready. I'm just dying to say that one time.

Listener, this is just, I mean, this is a new low. This is really titillating conversation. This could be our last episode ever. The funeral for the podcast. It's coming. It was really great getting to know all of you. And I can't thank you all enough for dropping by each Tuesday and Thursday. But we have finally done it. We've gone too far. Too far.

By chance, if we are backed by popular demand, go ahead and follow us on YouTube and Instagram and subscribe and do all that shit you're supposed to. Oh, TikTok. We have a banger of a TikTok. Thanks to Kylie. But anyway, we will see you hopefully next Tuesday and Thursday. That's right. And either way, it spells cunt. That's right.

Pick up that glass of Pinot Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time. We're going to do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom. I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'm Ramona Singer, and that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best from The Real Housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time.

Follow, rate, and review now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.