Time Cop LIVE! W/ Nick Kroll (HDTGM Matinee)
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Oh, maybe too close. Trade-in and additional terms apply. See Verizon.com for details. It's a 1994 time travel movie that manages to spend most of its time in the year 1994. We saw Time Cop, so you know what that means. Woo!

Howdy.

Hello, people of Earth! And hello, people of Austin, Texas!

Wow! We are so excited to be here at the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas with so many goddamn people. It's beautiful. This is an amazing night. We have a great, great show. A movie that talks about the future in a way that I probably didn't even realize how prescient it was.

But we have a lot to get into tonight, a lot of splits to talk to, a lot of hair to talk about. And to join me, as always, please welcome Jason Manzuka! What's up, Jack? Welcome. Welcome, Jason. How we doing, balcony? Welcome.

That's right. It's a deep, it's a very deep balcony up there. I don't want to blow you up, but before the show started, you said if people in the balcony have questions, they have to come down because you're not fucking going up there. Balcony, I will come up there. You said backstage, the balcony's full of losers. That was between you and I.

The way I separate the people down here. Oh, those are my people. You brought me back there and you said, check out the balcony. You called them turds. Balcony people are my people. Look. I just won't go up there because I'm out of shape. Jason, Time Cop, did this, is this a movie that I wish I could travel back in time to a period where I had never seen this movie so I could watch it again for the first time. Guys, this is a pretty great one.

I'm very excited about this movie, and we'll talk about it a lot, obviously. I hope so. I hope we spend conservatively the next 90 minutes talking about it. It really could go anywhere at this point. We could kick it into literature, great literature. Herman Melville, food. Four more authors. E.E. Cummings. Oh, yeah. No punctuation. Everything's lowercase.

Tom Clancy, and of course Lee Child, the four biggest authors of our generation. Lee Child, the Jack Reacher author? Yep. Of course. Classics of all. But joining us here tonight to talk about this movie some more, my other co-host. Please welcome June Diane Raphael!

Look at this. What's that sign say? We have a sign in the audience. Bring that sign. It says, thank you, Z, P, and J. Fireworks says, thank you, Z, P, and J. The Zooks, Paul, and June. It's a beautiful firework. I love that. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Look at that. That's beautiful. Look at that. That's beautiful. What the fuck did the rest of you bring? Thank you for bringing gifts. The only one who brought gifts. You fucking dicks.

That's why you're in the balcony. Wow. Really going to town on those balconies. You know, I feel like a balcony person on the inside. Come on. We're at a live podcast taping. We're all balcony people. Fair enough. This is one step away from Comic-Con. June...

How do you feel about Time Cop? I would imagine, well, before we watch it, you said to me, you had thought that you had seen this movie before. Yeah. And my mouth dropped because of all the movies. Very rare. This one, did you see it before? Like on a Sunday afternoon when I was like 16, I saw this movie. Really? Yeah. It goes against everything I know about you. I know. As a person, that you would leave it on.

I gotta tell you, I enjoyed this motion picture. Yeah. Absolutely. Ooh. I really did. Very excited. It is not a bad movie. I would argue it's a great movie with a bad lead. He's, by the way, become great. A very dear friend. Very dear friend. Dear, dear friend. Dear friend of the podcast.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Wouldn't that be amazing? We slammed him so many times. Um...

There's been a lot of speculation. Who would our guest be here in Austin? There's so many great people from Austin. And I will say that we picked one of your hometown heroes, I think. You know this guy from shows like The League. You know him from his upcoming Netflix special, Oh, Hello, from the Comedy Central show, The Kroll Show, the upcoming Captain Underpants movie, and The House. Please welcome Nick Kroll! Thank you.

Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Welcome, Nick. Welcome back. How did this get made? All-star indeed. You've been here for one of the first movies we ever did, Glitter. For less. Oh, for less. It is the first. Is that episode one? I believe it is. Wow. And this is great because you are here on the final episode. It is.

We're packing it in after tonight. Dunzo! It's a wrap! Nick, where did you fall in this movie? Did you see this movie as a kid? I did not. I've never seen this movie, but now that I'm watching it, it made me feel like a kid again. Ha ha ha ha!

This movie, like we all agree, it's not a bad movie. I kind of enjoyed it. It's a good movie, and it's also a very well done movie. Yes. They spent a lot of money on this. It is shot very well. Like for a, what would normally be where I would put these movies into the categories of the Street Fighters and the Kumite...

Thank you, Bloodsport. The other JCVD movies, like, low production values. This movie feels enormous. Here's the thing, like, I don't remember how many JCVD movies I've seen. Like, four? Conservatively, what do you think? Four or five? Four or five, yeah. I don't know, I forget all the movies. But...

June didn't even remember we were doing a podcast. June, could you name three movies that we've ever... No, but I don't have space in my brain for all of these horrible movies. But I do feel like JCVD is doing some of the best work I've seen him do in this motion picture. I agree. I really do. Yes. You'll get no argument here. I think he's great.

But imagine if you will, this exact movie, all the same players, Ron Silver fucking crushing it. Just absolutely fucking magic. Bruce McGill just crushing it. Like all these great characters. Now imagine if instead of JCVD, it's Kurt Russell.

That becomes a great movie. That's a fucking rad movie. Right? One could argue that JCVD stole Kurt Russell's hair. Here's what's weird about his hair. Okay, let's get right into it. Let's get straight to hair. As time moves forward, his hair goes backward in time.

It's very strange. Yeah. Well, his hair regresses. Yes. Well, he grows, I think, what you would call a sympathy mullet or a grief mullet. I think it's a grief mullet. A grief mullet, yeah. He's like, he wants women to know I'm not ready yet. Yeah.

I'm not ready for this. I'm not there yet. So, like an animal that grows an appendage to dissuade a lover, that's what he's done, to force women to be like, whoa! I'm so sad about the passing of my wife, I'm going to blow dry my hair for conservatively 45 minutes every morning. Ha ha ha ha ha!

I do think that the person who makes this movie is Ron Silva. I mean... Actor-activist Ron Silva. All day, every day, Ron Silva. Yeah. Actor-activist Ron Silva. So he... He's since passed away. Yes, he did. Uh...

But by the end of his life, he was very political and a pretty serious Republican. And whenever you see his chyron, it always said actor, activist, Ron Silver. And when I was like about five, ten years ago, I was with a group of people for a weekend and we went into his Wikipedia and changed it to actor, activist, Ron Silver. You little scamp. I don't know.

Are you the person that keeps changing my name on Wikipedia to Jeffrey Character Wheaties? You little scamp. That is actually, that is Stellan Skarsgård who's getting back for us. Oh, Stellan Skateboard? Who's getting back for us for changing his name for Stellan Skateboard on Wikipedia. Were you with me when we were then in an elevator with Stellan Skarsgård? And I was like, do I tell him?

No way. No, sir. Did I tell him that it's... Not one bit. That we, I believe, are the reason that his Wikipedia was locked? Yeah. Because so many people kept changing his name to Stellar Skateboard? Wikipedia was like, stop fucking around. We get it. You nerds love podcasts, but cut it out. So Ron Silva is great. Mia Sara, great.

I feel like I never knew. I didn't know that she was in anything besides Ferris Bueller. When I saw her, I was like, whoa. She's so, yeah. She's fucking great. Everybody. Everybody's a fucking monster in this movie. And I love that this is a time when women are very sexy and like very big brown plaid blazers. Yeah.

They're very sexy in them. With a turtleneck underneath it. And you're like, fuck, I'm so hard for this right now. Actor-activist Ron Silver, I think he really revolutionized. He was at the forefront of men shaving a beard to a point to create the concept of a jaw and chin. Yeah, right.

Well, I actually will say that I loved how, just to put a fine point on this, the movie was shot in 94. So like, we'll do a time travel movie where they travel to 1994. So we save all that money on pesky time travel. And when they're in 2004, we'll keep them in a dark building. Oh, but how do we tell them about, how do we signal that it's the future? Glue a bunch of shit to the outside of cars. Yeah.

That'll be everything. Just glue a bunch of plastic shit to the outside of regular cars. They only had two cars that they could do that to. And whenever you saw the cars, they were by themselves on the road. It was like, no other car in sight.

But Ron... Actor-activist. Actor-activist. I love the way that 1994 Ron Silva played himself like a real wimp and a nerd and then 2004 was like shut up you fucking idiot. Yeah.

It was, he was doing Fassbender E. Fassbender before that was popular. Oh, yeah. I wonder though. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I was going to say that. Wow, so rude. You know what? I don't even want to do the fucking podcast anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, Jean-Claude Van Damme. I just want to say. No, this podcast is my favorite of all the podcasts. You did say backstage. Yeah.

You did say backstage, Nick, that you can do those splits. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can do the splits. Now, listen. Listen. You know, look. I don't like seeing a man do a split. I don't like it. And I've said it before. Why again? What was the reason? It's unnatural to me. Let me.

What about when you're watching Olympic gymnastics? I admire it and I tip my hat to it. I'd rather not see it again. That's right. Thank you. You only wear a hat when you watch the Olympics? Your Olympic watching hat? Actually, in this film, when JCVD did a split to get out of a tricky situation, there was a reason for that split. An urn split. It was an urn split and I appreciated it. Well, let's take a look at the urn split right here. And by the way,

By the way, these buns are on fire. Boom! Look at that! Keep that split going for one more shot. Look at that! That's hot. That is fucking badass. Yeah, dude. By that, I mean a great ass.

But I have to say, like, I do feel like this movie was a transition to Jean-Claude a little bit because he's not, like, laying into the splits. He's not laying into bare ass. It's about the acting. No, are you kidding? The second scene of the movie is a sex scene that starts on his ass. Yeah. Starts. I have to say, I felt like I saw inside his asshole in that shot. Did I? And I was into it. Yeah. I was into it. When that...

When that scene started, I literally, I was alone in my room watching the movie. I went, oh my. I was watching it on a plane and I was like, oh, oh, oh. Well, the movie, the movie has, I guess I would, if I was to label one problem with it, it just does these hard cuts. So it's like, here they are, they're, you know, they're being cute on the elevator. They're kind of saying like, let's go spend the day inside. And it's like, we both have the afternoon off.

Why don't we go and practice some of those words you seem to like so much? Right? Boom. Oh, that's nice. Hard cut to... Asshole. Boom! What? Candles. Candles. Candles. Midday candles? Don't need them. You are right, June. You are getting very close to... Sorry, we should have told the children in the audience to avert their eyes. This is not safe for work, guys.

Yeah, he... Look at that. Look at this angle. Am I kissing at the wrong angle? This appears to be a 45 degree angle. No one is enjoying that kiss. It's like she's on an elevator going up and he's going down and they're trying to come. That is an X. That's an X. They are at opposite mouth. What's happening? Now imagine Kurt Russell kissing.

I just keep that in. Also, he is a policeman. I'm not sure what she does. They live in a straight up mansion. It's a little dilapidated. It's a little dilapidated, but it's enormous. I feel, and I don't know why I think this, so we know she likes to build bird houses. Are we supposed to extrapolate that she also likes to build real houses?

Because the bird house was in the shape of their house. Their actual house. What if in the middle of a movie, a huge bird just flew into the house? By the way, I'm into it. And the camera pulls out and it's like a little boy like, this is my house. And Jean-Claude Van Damme has to fight a giant bird. The third act is him versus giant bird. Or he has to fight fuck that bird.

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I mean, the segue from birdhouse making to lovemaking is clunky. Yeah. Well, it also presumes that they're just like blasting each other in the backyard and they don't live in like a remote area. But again, like, but you can pick anything that he's watching. He's watching a videotape of him and his wife in better times before she was murdered. And spoiler alert. Yeah.

But you can pick any moment. It's so odd to be like, oh yeah, we'll just have him, he'll watch the videotape of when he was videotaping her building a birdhouse. What? Like, you would never be like, oh, what are you building a birdhouse? Let me get my camera. It also is their sex tape. He's really watching, the birdhouse is just the prologue to his sex tape. That scene, make no mistake, Paul, that scene is about him jerking off. I was gonna, I was gonna. He's gonna jerk off. He's gonna watch himself plow his wife and jerk off whiskey drunk.

He drinks, by the way, for a hungover guy, he fights really good when he gets a tackling. But again, he's Rocky Horror picturing his sex tape. Yeah. So that also makes me go like... He's also like throwing birdhouse pieces at the screen. And he's talking along with all his own lines in it. Like he's his biggest fan.

He dresses up like Mia, Sarah, and Axel getting plowed by himself. Oh, you're so large. You're so large. I don't know why it unnerved me hearing him say his lines to her. It was deeply unsettling. It was crazy. It was crazy. What if he was saying her lines and then it cut back to him and he had like a long brown wig on? I'm into it. I'm not into that.

I would say I'm glad that someone in this movie took a moment to spend four minutes to explain time travel to us like we're fucking idiots. Like, it's like, you know, explain it to me like I'm a kid or explain it to me like I'm a U.S. senator because here's the deal. This is where, to me, the movie is the most flawed.

They go, hey, have you heard of this scientist before? No, you haven't, because he's been trying to stay off the cover of Time magazine, because he's inventing time travel, which we need because other people are time traveling. Wait, hold on. So the guy who just invented time travel, you're already saying that someone else is doing it.

And we never know who that person is. And if they caught him, like, that seemed to me like, why don't you just introduce, like... Time travel exists. Time travel. Now we need the police force to police it. Who cares? Done. Because you're introducing this thing as like, this scientist came up with time travel, which we need because someone else is doing time travel. Like, wait, I don't...

Did we ever meet that scientist? No. Nor did we ever go to the other base that Ron Silver is using. Yeah. Because remember, they're like, the prototype is still active. Where is it? It's right here in Washington. You know what we should do? Never go there. Never go there.

I don't under... Don't bring it up. This is a movie that I seriously, and this is why I take the most points, I don't understand the time travel thing. They get into a vehicle that looks like a mini spaceship. They run into a Stargate wall, and then they're out of the spaceship. Just walking. Walking, dropping, whatever. And then when they go back, they hit a button on their wrist, and they're back in the fucking spaceship. Yeah.

Like, what? How? Where is the transition? What's that transition? That's called time travel. Run! Run at the fucking wall and then that's what it should be. Honestly, it makes the mailbox in the lake house look genius. Like, and by the way, who

we've already seen this done better in a vehicle-based time travel system in Back to the Future. How do you not, if that exists, how do you do that but dumber and worse? I kept thinking with that, speaking of Back to the Future, that Polaroid that they took. Like, oh, this will, like, he'll disappear or turn into Steven Seagal or something like that.

I was also confused. Why didn't they pose for that picture? Yeah, he's like looking off to the side like, I don't want to be in this picture. Also, why does the guy have a parrot? Well, I was going to say, if that's the parrot guy. But also, if the thing is take a picture with the parrot, put the parrot on their shoulder. This guy posits the idea of, I take pictures of people in the malls for money. I just happen to bring my parrot for me. It's a service parrot.

And I get anxious if I don't have my parrot with me while I'm taking Polaroid pictures of people at the mall. Well, they originally had a scene where the parrot was in the time travel explanation scene, and then he would re-explain it to new people as the movie went on. I also thought it would be great if they did take a picture with the parrot, and when you cut back to 2000 or 1994, the parrot has a big scar on his face. What happened to the parrot? Ooh. But yeah, that to me is the biggest

the biggest mistake in this movie is like, ah, it makes no sense. Were there any, for the American government, are there any upsides to time travel? Are they getting anything from time travel? They don't appear to be. No, they're just policing it. And by the way, doing a shitty job. Yeah. Because in the first scene, he comes in with that black bag. save my tax dollars and shut down the program. Wow, you sound like Ron Silva right now. Wow. Actress activist. Yeah.

Actor-activist. I think that it's... Because I agree with what you were saying. They appear to go into the past. And in my mind, I feel like they would be tactical in some respect. But they are dropped, sometimes into the ocean or onto the street. And they have to walk to their destination. LAUGHTER

And he just kind of saunters around. He has no active plans whatsoever. Like a law enforcement organization would go in with a plan. He just is like, when his ex-partner is making money off the stock market and the stock market crash, he just is like, walks in wearing future clothes and is like, hey man, I gotta take you in. But from wherever he landed to here...

is insanity. Like, what? I do have to imagine, I mean, I'm sorry to jump ahead, but he goes back at the end of the movie to thwart his wife's murder. Correct. He must have been thinking about this attack that he's lived through for a decade. Oh,

When he goes back to try to stop them from killing her, he's got no plan. No fucking plan. No plan of action. None. He seems surprised by everyone who arrives. And a good portion of that scene is him running away.

Is he simply running away? I would also argue that he's in the hospital to see Radon Chong. And then he's like looking through blood, just like, and then he's like, oh, my wife. That's right. You think he didn't remember that that was the day of her murder?

Oh. Do you think he'd forgotten about that entirely? I did have an issue with the fact that he only went back to save her when he thought there was an unborn child. Yes. No. He's a cop. He can't do it. Like, he knows. But then why does he do it? Because it intersects with the case he's on. Yes. Which he didn't know previous to that. Weak.

No, I agree. The fact that he's never tried to... He can't! He could be like, there's an unsolved murder, it's my wife. I believe it to be time travel related. Or has it not occurred to him? No, I don't think it's occurred to him. But here's the problem. He's an idiot then. You guys, when his wife is murdered, he's already traveling back in time. He's already a time cop.

Not yet. He's about to become a time cop. Time cop? I thought it was Tim cop. My name is Tim Duncan. The sequel to Tim cop. In a few days, he will be a time cop. Correct. In 10 years. No, no, no, no, no. He's about to take that job. Way earlier. Why not just become a time cop, maybe even two weeks later and say, hey, I'd just like to go back two weeks. To investigate. To investigate this horrible,

Yeah, my house exploded. And by the way, I can't imagine that has been solved. Because people from the future did it. Can I just ask, like, this is probably not even worth me bringing up, but I will. Wouldn't that attack never have happened until he started investigating the case? Whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. No, because why would they, they would never have come back

to fuck up his life until he got close to Ron. So you think he's so clueless, but it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter, Paul. A tragedy befell him. Regardless, he could investigate that tragedy. No, I'm just saying, though, that tragedy only happened because Ron Silva...

Ron Silva was like, goons, go kill him. But at that point, he had not had the information that his partner was working for Ron Silva. So it's almost like the movie should start out in 2004 with his wife. He meets his partner. He comes back and his wife is dead. And he's like, what? It's almost as if the logic of Time Cop is flawed.

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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. The thing that makes me laugh about this time bureau too is that like at the end when he saves the day, spoiler alert, we'll talk about other stuff too, but when he saves the day, like he's like, you remember me? And I feel like that would be what time copying would be all the time. Like wouldn't everybody be confused? Like you don't have a mohawk anymore?

Or this. Oh, shit. He must have changed something. I guess I had the mustache. And that's the trouble I had with his boss when he comes back and your boss is like, what do you mean? He's about to be the president, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, no, when I left, that wasn't the case. And he's like, are you crazy? No. Mustn't this be entirely what your division is created to police? On a dating?

This information is exactly why you have a job, shithead. You have changed things in the past and it has rippled into the present and things are different now. President Hitler has been our president for 15 years. It's crazy. And listen, Bruce McGill is still killing it, but like, get it together, bro.

This is your job. Well, also, when he comes back that second time, Bruce McGill is like, hey, buddy, glad you're back. And then, look, in the next scene, he's like, so we're friends. Yeah, that's the scene I'm talking about. That's the scene I'm talking about. That's where he should be like, wait a minute, if you're one of my police and you're telling me we used to be friends and I think we're not, this is what this division is about. We're having it live, currently. Yes, but my issue is even deeper than that being like, Paul, I'm going to go back in time and I'm going to explain this whole thing to you. But like...

It's a crazy thing because it's not like, it wasn't like Bruce McGill was his friend that he saw on the streets. Like, that's my cop boss. I am a time cop. I just came back and he's like, do we know each other? Yeah, you run this fucking division. I'm working for you. Like, but he acts like, huh. Yeah. So you're telling me we're friends? Yeah. Yeah, because I showed up in the fucking

time machine that runs in your office. It's like, it's not like he ran into him on the street. He's like, no, in the future, we're time cops. You think that you work for Sprint, but you don't. Here's the other one. Here's the other one that really bothered me, and I'm sure somebody will explain to me why I'm wrong. In the timeline as it exists,

Isn't the Mia Sara character, in 2004, the same woman who he rescued? Didn't she see the older him and the younger him? Yes. She had that experience. She survived and moved forward. So shouldn't he at the end of the movie, she was like, oh, crazy day? And he goes, yeah, today was the day I saved your fucking life. Yeah.

Remember? Remember when you tried to run away with old me and leave young me? I also felt terrible for that son. Yeah. Because he's like, who the fuck are you, bro? He's like, I'm your son. He's like, I don't know shit about you. He has no memory of the first 10 years of that child's life. Dad, remember when I learned to ride a bike? Yeah, sure, man. This is great.

That kid's therapy as an adult is going to be crazy. I just feel like my dad never knew me. Why? Because he mostly was a time cop and wasn't really in the reality of my childhood. This is, by the way, I want to just talk about this kid. What about the wood paneling on that future car? It's like a Winnebago.

This is the shittiest. Whoever was the set designer for this movie, boo, boo on you. Here is this end scene. We'll just play it for a second. ♪

By the way, I want to pause it for a second. They dress the kid like him. Why do they dress him like that? Is that what they're doing? He's basically wearing a version of what JCVD is wearing. He's wearing a long-sleeve white polo, a long-sleeve button-down with an ill-fitting vest. Now watch. I've never seen so many layers. Watch the reverse. Boom. Boom.

White underneath, long sleeve on top, and it's a jacket. I genuinely think he looks cool right there. Like I would wear that outfit. This outfit, the outfit of the time cop, shouldn't it be more nondescript? Like you would think he shouldn't be wearing something that signifies that he's a cop.

Shouldn't he just be fitting in? Why when they send them back, don't they send them back in period-specific clothes so they can blend in? Yeah. You know what I mean? Great question. It's not like they're invisible in the past. It's almost as if the logic of Time Cop is flawed. But we're going to figure it out. No, we are going to figure it out. We're going to crack this. Here's my question. So if Ron Silver, well, it wasn't Ron Silver. So if his partner had died in 1929 or...

Or whatever it was. But if he had gone back as a person from 1994, is he dead in 1994? Who? The partner? Whoever the partner is, yes. You're saying if he leaves 1994 and goes to 1930 and dies, right? Yes. He will have died in 1994. So he'll still live from 1930 to 1994. No, no, he died in 1930. But my problem is...

He's a person from 1994. I mean, we're in it. We're in it. I love this. He was born, say, in like 1974. Oh, really? You think 74? You think that guy's 20 years old? Yeah, he's the youngest goddamn time cop on the force. Baby, baby time cop. Listen up, baby time cop. Time kid. Time kid.

So he's 20 years old. He goes back in time. If he stays alive... Because he's dying as a person who's living in 1994. If he stays alive, he will live his natural life in the past until he dies. But he will still always die in 1994 if he dies in the past. Okay, so he still has a couple good years. No, no, no. No, he falls out of a building. He falls out of a building and perishes.

Did anyone understand his scheme of like what he was, what was he doing? He was making money on the stock market crash. He was going there for Ron Silva to buy stocks when they were at their lowest, hold on to all of them. So when the stock market came back. That's why he had that day's paper, 1929, and that day's USA Today. By the way, he was holding on to the stocks for a long time. This is a long game. They held on to that pan. They were like, circle, pan.

USA Today. You know what I did love about that too is like they want to show that he's clearly from the future so he pulls out a mini disc which was like a failed thing that was not a CD it was smaller than a CD like for a little bit the select few had mini discs and I thought that was like oh yeah you just dated yourself big time there. Yeah.

But his scheme was making money on the stock market crash. But then when he was falling out of the building, he hit that button. They landed in the pass. Didn't they just smash down into something? What do you mean? They were going at it. When they come back to the future. No, because they must arrive in the car, which they do. We see them arrive in the car. Because they're falling out of a building and then...

In a car. Seatbelted into a car. How? And then, arguably, they must have seatbelted him again, and then he was like, I'm in a car. No, I'm not. Boom. Yes.

The act of passing through the Stargate or whatever it is puts you into the past, out of the car, and in a situation you have no control over. They are sometimes falling through the air. They are sometimes... I didn't understand. They reference some twin brothers not making it through that passage. Yes. So what happened to them? They smashed into the wall and exploded. But what did they do wrong? Oh, time travel. LAUGHTER

No, I think it's unclear. I think they were treating it like the space program. Like, in the beginning, people died trying to figure it out. You know what I mean? That's what I felt like they were trying to get at. But the thing that I kept thinking was all of Ron Silver's guys fucking, when they travel through time, they're like pew, pew, pew. Yeah. Yeah.

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam. They are fucking cool as ice, right? They are fucking sauntering into scenes from the future into the past. And when Jean-Claude Van Damme does it, he's like falling out of the sky. He's not where he wants to be. These guys are pinpoint accuracy and looking fucking badass doing it. He lacked the long hair and back shaved side of head with hoop earrings. Oh, God.

Jason, did you say those guys look as cool as ice? Yeah, man. Because one of those guys got turned into ice, which I think is one of the best moments of that movie. When Jean-Claude enters into the factory, there's a sign out that says this, Extreme Cold.

It's not like... It's so big, too, the sign. Yeah, it's giant, and you would never put that on the outside of a building. You would maybe put that next to the machine. The gold thing. Yeah, because people seem to be wearing just the sweaters in there. They don't seem to be uncomfortable. Um...

But they need to set up that when one of those things pops off, that guy's arm will fly off like a tornado. Which I loved. Oh, yeah. It was great. This movie felt like Hollywood got a computer. They were like, hey, we can kind of do all this shit now. You know, like the ripple. Like my parents are away. I can use the computer. Yeah. That's why there's like a scene with just flying toasters. Like, hey, get out of here, flying toaster. Yeah.

My question is, if Ron Silver wanted to kill Jean-Claude Van Damme, why not do it in present time? Or why not do it when Jean-Claude Van Damme was 10 years old? Why not go back in time? Are you going to go back to Belgium when he was just dreaming of being a cop in Washington, D.C.?

By the way, happy that I feel like this is the only movie I've ever seen where they call out an accent. Like, me and Sarah's like, you with that accent. It's like, finally. After all these Schwarzenegger movies. Like, yeah, just say it. It is abnormal. It is abnormal that your name is like Rich Masterson. Yeah. Max Walker. Max Walker. Foreign cop. Yeah.

I mean, it is pretty good. Because that was the thing with Street Fighter, right? Wasn't he supposed to be Captain America or a G.I. Joe type of character, but he's clearly from another country. Which is fine. Just call it out. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. And me and Sarah doing great work.

grounding him as a normal person in the world, which he categorically is not. Can we watch that opening scene where they meet in the mall, which is... This is... I think this is the scene to... There's never enough time. Never enough for what? To satisfy a woman. Ew. Then you never want to miss an opportunity. Are you busy? I'm meeting my husband.

If I were him, I would not keep you waiting. He's not here when I turn around? I'll go home with you. You'll do. Ah, I love malls.

I love malls where when you're surrounded by people shopping, you can just fucking go to town on each other. Wouldn't it be amazing if all of a sudden you're watching them kissing in the background, you just see Woody Allen and... Yeah. Bette Midler. Bette Midler just like walking behind them and be like, I don't know, maybe we should get divorced. You know what I mean? Like,

If all the scenes that are shot at the Beverly Center in Los Angeles were just all taking place on the same day, all the movie scenes. I mean, I loved her so much. I was so in love with Ferris Bueller that I feel like I've modeled myself after her, truly. But I didn't understand why her blood work for pregnancy was in the hospital. LAUGHTER

I'm trying to imagine that she checked herself in for a pregnancy test? Also, her blood vial was basically next to Jane Doe's. Her name is Melissa Walker. It's not nearby at all. It wouldn't be in the ER section of the hospital or there. Well, also, I got to say that Mia Sarah makes a few questionable choices, besides the fact of going to the hospital to get her blood checked. Climbing to the top of her house. Yeah.

In driving rain. Okay, the main question I have for her is those socks. Why when old John Claude Van Damme gets there, right? Why isn't he like, put all your clothes on? Because you're definitely going outside. Like, don't bother with everything you're wearing. Put clothes on. Now, we got to get out of here. And whatever you do, don't tell me, a time cop, that I'm here.

Keep him upstairs. Me, the man who's about to take a job as a time cop, I bet I wouldn't get it. By the way, how about this? Hold on to this gun just in case you might need it. Simplest thing you could possibly do. Yeah. Nope. Bad guys are about to be here. Don't ask me if I have a plan. I don't. I'm going to freestyle this. P.S. The last time this happened, you died.

But you know what? I'm doing the best I can. I'm foreign. I don't know what's up. And he starts it. And he's so proud of his plan because he goes outside the house. That guy comes in. He's like, poof, poof. He's like, ha-ha, I got the shotgun. And then they immediately defeat him. Yes. He's so proud. Yeah. Why doesn't she recognize him? Why does it? I mean, he has the same face. Did you see his hair? Yeah.

I guess it's about an inch or two longer. Oh, yeah. He has the same face. The more, the more. I mean, it's clearly not him. She's like, I can't see the back of your neck. Here's what I want to know. I don't know if you're my husband. When he, when she sees him in the mall in that scene and she's freaked out, I'm like, okay, she's freaked out. It's not him. It's him. Okay, whatever. Great. Then they make out. And I'm like, that's not your husband yet.

This is like, isn't she cheating on him with him?

I'm not as worried about that. Really? I just feel like I'm not as worried about it. Okay, is this a problem? What if 94 Jean-Claude Van Damme turned the corner and saw her making out with 2004 Jean-Claude Van Damme? Do you think he has a right to be mad? No. Isn't he like, I know it's me, but it's not really me. What if Paul returned from the future with a grief mullet? LAUGHTER

She should have known, Siobhan. There is no way that she could recognize me because I don't have anything distinguishing like a big accent or anything like that. And I also feel like it's just kissing. What? It's just kissing. I mean, who cares? That's 100% a t-shirt. It's just kissing. What if she was like, he's like, it's me from the future. And then she was like, let me see those cheeks. Here's my question. Why doesn't he say to her,

Call your husband. We're not even going to go back to the house. Yes, let's make a plan together. Let's make a plan to go to like a police station or somewhere we can be really safe. Or why doesn't he go talk to Bruce McGill and be like, okay, this thing you're setting up, I'm in the middle of it. Like, let's figure this shit out. Also, I feel like the minute she sees him in the mall and he has that mullet, she should know she's dead.

Like, she should be like, oh no. There's not a world in which I say okay to this. Oh no, I would never let this happen. That ergo, I am Pat. I know that you guys were saying that

It's hard for her to recognize her husband. I would say the thing that really is hard to recognize is when Ron Silva sees Ron Silva and is like, who are you? You keep saying Ron Silva? Yeah. And it's silver. I always thought it was Silva. Well, it's like Ron Silva. You know the Brazilian actor Ron Silva? Yeah.

You've been saying it with like a Long Island accent. Maybe, you know what? I bet you that has a lot to do with it because I only heard his name talked about when I was a kid. Which is weird. You see that new Ron Silver. Hey, Paulie, you see that fucking Ron Silver movie? Oh my God. I guarantee you that has to be it. I always thought that his name was Ron Silver. Fucking Ron Silver. But you pronounce it Ron Silva. Dude.

Act activist Ron Silva, though. But that's it. That actually should be fucking president, though. I feel like you get a pass, Paul, because you get everybody's name right all the time. Oh, yeah, of course. So this is really... But I thought we were all, like, fine. We're like, I don't think he's saying anything. I was going to bring it up later for sure. Can we talk about... Both June and I have a number of times said Ron Silver. Yeah. And I was like, they're wrong. Ha ha ha.

You thought we were wrong. Can we, since we're on this. I'm honoring his memory by pronouncing his name correctly. Since we're on the subject of activist Ron Silva, can we talk about his nut work? Wikipedia's going to have to lock his page. His nut work? Okay, okay, okay, okay. You guys know how I feel about wet mouth sounds. Him eating nuts in that future car was making me gag. Okay.

Holding his own little, like, his own little fucking porcelain, not porcelain, his own little crystal ball of nuts. He, um, yeah, he... Oh. Oh.

By the way, he's in a limo that the inside does not match the outside. He's in like a fucking Winnebago on the inside where all the light seems to be just white. But this is a... We'll just play this scene because this is a great little scene that is... Yeah, here we go. Elections are won with television. You don't need the press. You don't need endorsements. You don't even need the truth. You need money. So, tell me. How much is it going to cost to buy the network time I need?

$50 million. Agent Walker has already cost me that much. I'll tell you, I'm going to have a little chat. Okay. Not quite Steve Buscemi. When I was wearing headphones, the mouth sounds were just impenetrable. I feel like Ron Silva. You feel like him? No, I feel like when Ron went over to the craft service table, he was like, I'm bringing this into the scene. And I feel like

A young Brad Pitt was watching just being like, that's how you do it. That's how you act. That's how you do it. He's like, the mistake he made was it's nuts. It should be shrimp. And then Ocean's Eleven, boom, shrimp cocktail. Yeah, the best. I love it. Just shoveling it in.

Love it. Not afraid of, I think, feel like this is the movie, like one of the last movies just to have gratuitous nudity in it. Like they're in the middle of like some investigation. And again, hard cut to naked woman on bed going like with a come hither stare, like come here. I'm like, wait, what just happened?

What is going on? It's 94. It's the height of virtual reality, right? So it's like that. It's Oculus, baby. It's Oculus. Yeah, it was after. It was like right around the Aerosmith video probably. Oh, yeah. I bet you're, yeah, that's 100% right. And that guy is not Matthew Lillard. That's who I thought the computer guy was. It's not, right? Oh, it's not. No. Matthew Lillard.

I don't know who it is, but... I think his name is Scotty... Or Scott Bells. I don't know. I'm guessing on that. Really? I'm sure we... Is his name Ricky? What? Is his name Ricky? Yeah. Then it is Scott Bells. Nice. But yeah, they cut to like just...

Just a crazy new porno. It basically cut to a point of view porno. And then they're like, hey, knock that shit off at work. I think is what I've heard it's called. But by the way... In articles that I've read about it. Where would that have gone? Where would that character, would he just have started jerking off in the middle of work? Yeah, what you realize is he's watching virtual reality porn at his desk at the TEC Center. Yeah. Is virtual reality porn like a thing? I don't want to know the answer. Yeah.

By the way, I just realized something about the TEC. They put someone, they sentenced someone to death. Yes. Immediately. Immediately. You are sentenced to death to be carried out immediately.

That's pretty harsh. Why not just put him in jail? It's also like, I was like, where it's a senator who's becoming president, I could never quite understand where he was in his election process. It's like, he's down, he's going to lose the election because he's run out of money. And then two minutes later, it's like, he's, I mean, I know it's time travel stuff, but still. And then they're like, I got to, he's like, if I can just bring you back to testify, that'll, it'll all be solved. Like, I found that precarious. It was, yeah, it was,

It was super stupid. What I like about Jean-Claude Van Damme in this movie, too, is he avoids puns. Like, he doesn't actively chase them. He'll dispatch people, and it seems like he's doing them begrudgingly. Like, he knocks that guy with the frozen arm off the thing. He's like, have a nice day. And then, they're like, oh. And then he goes up to, like, Ron Silver, and he's like, I should have said freeze. Come on. Don't, like...

Like, just do it. Just do the line, man. Do it or don't do it. Yeah, don't half-ass it like that. Because then the other guy's like, he goes, the guy goes, why don't you have a sleep on it? And he goes, I did.

That was his comeback. I also couldn't figure out why don't you sleep on it? Because his intention is to kill him. Yeah, to go to sleep forever. That's like sleep forever. Yeah, and he's like, sleep on it. And he could have said so many things. Yeah, and now I'm your worst nightmare. Boom, nailed it, right? Would have killed. Just like, I did. What does that mean? This is a dream come true. He literally gets to go back in time forever.

to deliver zingers, which he cannot do. Like, you've had ten years to think, what should I have said? What should I have done? He's spent ten years playing that night out over and over. Yeah, every night he must go to sleep thinking about his tragic night. And he's zero percent prepared. Well, he spent all of his time memorizing the lines from the Birdhouse video. He's off book on that. Yeah.

What if he just said his lines in the Birdhouse movie whenever he killed someone? I don't know why you built the Birdhouse. What? Let's lay everything out first.

Anyway, she says, let's start with the most important piece. Yeah. Something to that effect. She's like, the bird feed? Well, I really want to talk about the pasta sauce Terminator. The ending when he, with Ron Silva, where he throws Ron Silva. Act activist. Act activist Ron Silva. When he throws Ron Silva into Ron Silva. Oh.

And they become like the T2 from Terminator, but like a pasta sauce version of it. They kind of merge. And again, I think it's like what you were saying. So did he have to stay clear of himself? Yes. Yes. I didn't pick up on that. He can't touch himself. He can't touch himself because matter can't be in the same place as matter. But if he throws Ron at Ron...

By the way, I liked the reveal that he had gotten Yung Ron Silver to show up at his house. Yeah, in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. In the middle of a fight scene. Someone said there was a meeting? By the way, he has enough forethought to get that going. Good, good. That's good police work. But nothing else.

He doesn't have more guns. He doesn't have more of a plan. He's got nothing. He doesn't enlist himself to help. He's like, here's all it would have taken. Hey, I'm you from the future. Don't touch me. Otherwise, we both die. If we do this, we all live great. If we don't, she dies. That's what we're doing. His young self would have been like, got it. Let's go, bro. Let's fucking do this. It's like he's scared of his young self. Yeah. Yeah. But aren't we all? Yeah.

Aren't we all? 2007, Jason Manzoukas running around. I'm also thinking about Ron Silver not having good lines, too. He's like, hey, you ever see the inside of a presidential limousine? He's like, I'll send you a picture. Yeah. She was nothing but kind to him. To his secretary. Yeah. To his secretary. Like, what? I just like that he's like, oh, I got a piece of paper. I better go into the past.

Just like, not much, not doing a lot of research, being like, hmm, I'm a senator. No, I got a slip of paper. I'm going to go to the past. No, he's not. He's in the past. That's young Ron Silver. He got a piece of paper that's like your old self is about to show up in the past. He's the guy that saw his old self kill the guy in the computer place. He's young Ron Silver. I'm just putting a...

We have two Ron Silvas on the screen. Sorry, now it's ingrained in me. I'll never change it. Ron Silva. Ron Silva. Well, see, the guy in the back is the actor and the one up front is the activist. Just so you know, the tagline for this movie, anyone want to give a tagline? And I'll tell you what it could be. I don't want to put you on the spot. Tagline. Tagline.

I mean, this is, I'm putting way on the spot. No, no, no. Don't tell us. We have to guess. And we won't move on until we do. Counting down the minutes. All right. You'll never get a second chance at love. Ooh, I love it. I think this might be the tagline. It's as if the logic of Time Cop is flawed. The line, the two taglines are, murder is forever until now.

And then the other one is, turn back the clock and your history. Oh, that's good.

I like that. It was based on a comic book, and it was Van Damme's highest grossing movie. My only issue with this movie is I would have liked to have seen more things play out in the present that had been altered in the past. Like the scar on Ron Silva's face. To me, that's a fun way to play this game. Yes. And there was nothing else really that altered in present day. No.

Yes, that you could actively see. It just had occurred in the interim. You know, like, Ron Silver goes from losing the election to winning the election. You don't see the actual effects of it. It just is. Yeah, I know what you mean. And that would have been cool, too. I would like that. They did nail a couple of, like, future stuff. Like...

He basically walks into his house and it's like a smart house. Like he's got, it's like series like TV and it goes, you know, like. Yeah, that was very similar. And I thought they did a good job. But they also missed the mark too by going like, in the future, water coolers will look like Roman columns. Like they just put like a big water jug in a like an ionic column or something like that.

All right, let's talk to the audience here and see if they have some things that they want to bring up. I'm going to go out here. I'm going to talk to you and see what you have to say. Paul just takes off, goes back to 1994 here in the Paramount Theater. They're doing a screening of Dazed and Confused. All right, great. I'll start right here because you're the closest to me. The man carrying the Sandra Boynton book. Sandra Boynton, an amazing children's author. Yeah, this is great.

You brought this for us. This is amazing. This is a happy hippo, angry duck. We have almost all of his books and not this one. Do you have your own microphone? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He brought his own microphone. What's happening?

It doesn't work, but yeah, that probably works better. But I didn't want to hold the mic. That's amazing. So he brought his own microphone so he wouldn't be ripping out my microphone. Your best time travel pun, if you can come up with one, I'll give you a moment, and your question. Go to the past, see Van Damme's ass. Okay.

All right, that's good. I like it. Really good. That's more of a rhyme. Technically more of a rhyme, but it's still, I'll accept it. I accept it 100%. You're great. Your name and your question. Yeah, I'm Andrew, and my question is for Zooks, Jason. Huh? Yeah. Directly you, yeah, directly. But you kind of took my question earlier because I was going to point out the hair, the mullet. When did the Van Damme mullet start? But,

But Jason, you said something earlier about the very beginning, replace it with Kurt Russell. And then you brought it up again in the sex scene, but you never specified who we were replacing with Kurt Russell. Oh, you're saying Mia Sarah? So I was curious. No, no, you're right. I'm saying Mia Sarah should have been Kurt Russell. Yeah, I thought so. Then you got me thinking about it, and I'm like, that works.

I love it. Kurt on Van Damme. I love it. What if the movie was like Kurt Russell and Mia Farrow in Time Cop? Paul, before we continue, can I do one thing? Yeah. Are there house lights for the balcony briefly for a second? They're coming down the balcony. Hold on. They are coming down. Here's what I want to do.

Who has the worst seats in the house? I want the people that are all the way in the back. Are you waving your hands up there? Two people, a couple in the way of the back. The way, the last, the last, right there. Raise your hands. I want you to come sit in these two seats right here. We got two seats down front. Okay. So who's... They're all the way there in that corner. Who's the furthest in the back?

Raising your hand, are you part of a couple? Are you two people? Yeah, two. We'll take two. Back two people. I want you two that stood up right there. Let's do this. By the way, just so you guys don't know this, there were two people sitting there and Jason kicked them out before the show. I was like, you know what, fuckos? Not tonight. Well, we have a first here at How Did This Get Made. Also, who doesn't show up for their front row seats?

I know. Time cap. What if we look down and there's just two people there? Like, it's whoa, whoa. All right, go ahead. Jean-Claude drops perfectly into those seats. All right, sir, your name, your time travel pun, and your question. Name's Jordan. One of the other taglines is a good one. His wife died 10 years ago. There's still time to go back and save her. That's wordy. Yeah.

Okay, so my question is, so he's never met his son. He has no memory of the son. Going forward, how does he figure out the son's name? I think he looks for clues. I think he does what I do, where it's like he's there with Mia and his son. He's like, have you guys met before?

I feel like he probably maybe just says, calls him like boy for a long time. Hey. Hey. Hey, kiddo. Hey, champ. Hey, you are the boy. All right. Are you guys from the back row? All right. Here they are. No, just go. Just go. I'll fucking send you right back. I'll send you right back. The minute they sit down. And that's our show. Good night, everybody.

Let me get a lady here. I'm not going to, just because of the line, I'm not going to kowtow to the line. All right, ma'am, your name, your time travel pun, and your question. My name is Wendy. Hi. Hi. And my time travel pun is, it's me, baby, but with a mullet. Yeah, I love it. Guys, we're having trouble with puns.

But that's okay. To be fair, puns are hard to come up with on the spot. You know what? Yeah, you're right. Puns are hard to come up with. Yeah. Okay. Okay. My question is, it's a major plot point of the story that he's going back in time to get money to fund his campaign. But when he does go back in time to talk to his past self, to convince his past self not to buy out of that chip company,

Yeah, the Cold Fusion Company? Yes. He shoots the guy that's his partner. Who's the genius? Exactly. How is he planning on making those millions that he...

Yeah, that would be like killing Steve Jobs, right? And he invented the first Apple computer. It's as if old man Steve Wozniak came from the future and was like, later, Jobs. In 1984. It also seems like that would have been the first step. All right, let's go back. You do what everybody does. Go back to the Civil War and steal gold.

So crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of easy ways to make money if you have access to a prototype time travel machine. This is so... Oh, you got it. Here we go. You got a pun. You got a pun. All right. All right, here we go. Your name, your pun, your question. My name's Rob from Austin. No shit. Time travel. Once you've gone, you can't come. I like it. So you think his dick doesn't work because of time travel? I mean, listen. I don't know. I'm intrigued by the notion that...

Because you're thinking about so much stuff that you can't get a heart on anymore. All right, your question. That senator guy again. Ron. Mr. Ron Silva. Actor, activist. Why didn't he just play the lottery? Yeah. A very fair question. Great question. Easy breezy. Yeah, that would be way more, it would be way easier. Why not just like, why not just like go back in time and buy a gold mine?

That you know is very, uh, diamond mine. Guys, let's all buy diamond mines. The movie is called Diamond Mine. So we bought a diamond mine. I'm spitballing here, guys, but we can work it out. We'll write it together. Or why not go and, uh, like, buy a sports book and just gamble? Yeah.

All right, here we go. All right, here's your pun, your name, and your question. My name is Rich. My pun slash tagline is even a broken cop gets to be right twice a day. Oh! Yes, yes. That's it! Very good. Very good. That's it! Wow! That's good. That's pun work. That's wordplay. That's how it's done, shitheads.

That was great. And my comment slash question, the fact that Nick is here makes this flawless. Because like you guys, I was wondering how a city cop owns a four-story Victorian house in a major metropolitan area. And we know how on top of it, internal affairs is. So I'm thinking in a sequel, IA wants to know how he affords this. So they want to know if he also manipulated the stock market to buy his wife her dream house.

So in the sequel, we bring on Sylvester Stallone to reprise his role as... As Judge Dredd? He reprises his role as Ray Tango, who was sent back in time to use his knowledge of the stock market to either clear a good man's name or find out if he altered the past to make millions off the books of history. Oh. Time cop to stocks cop. Stocks cop. Wow. I like it.

We were on a journey there. I didn't know where it was going to lead, but it paid off well. But imagine if Time Cop had starred Kurt Russell. And then you got Sylvester Stallman. You know, we haven't even talked about the internal affairs officer. I'm sure she was shot in the head.

Yes. Wasn't she? Seemed to me that she was. But those were like laser guns, right? So they didn't like... Were they laser guns? They look like laser tag guns. They're like, pachoo, pachoo. Like, they didn't look like gun guns. Okay, so what put her in the hospital? A laser wound? Laser wound to head? Sir, your name, your pun, and your question. My name's Colin. It's actually an Indiana Jones brand hat. All right, all right. I'll take it. Fedora hat. Not a cowboy. Okay.

Nope. Future perfectly tense.

Ooh, okay, great. I just wondered if Jason noticed that by the end of the movie, Jean-Claude has erased most of the circumstances of the entire film and reset it so that he's the only one who knows most of what we have seen. I see where this is going, and I don't like it. I'm going to stop you right there, not a cowboy, and say this movie is unequivocally not a Jacob's Ladder scenario.

Nice try, though. Nice try. They can't all be Jacob's Ladder scenarios, guys. But a lot of them seem like it. Some of them feel like they really have a great question. Wow, all the hands go up. All the hands. All right, well, I'm going to go to the guy in the Kumite shirt. Kumite shirt available on tpress.com. Yes, sir, your name, your pun, your question. My name's Michael. My pun is killing time has a whole new meaning.

Great. Oh, not bad. So my question is about when they're in the freezing factory place. And 2004 Ron Silva is basically, he has a quote where he says the lines, this country's gone down the drain because of the special interests. We need someone in the White House who's so rich he doesn't have to listen to anybody. Yeah. Yeah.

When I'm in office, it's going to be like the 80s again. Top 10% will get richer. The other 90% can immigrate to Mexico where they can live a better life. He then kills his old business partner. JCVD says maybe he'll calm down after the election. So my theory here is that we live in a world where time travel exists. Yeah.

We know that Donald Trump's favorite movie is Bloodsport. He has said this before. Is that right? It is totally true. Time Cop is right up his alley. He has seen this movie. So in another time dimension, Donald Trump was just a normal dude. He saw Time Cop. He thought Ron Silva was a genius. Then time travel was invented some point in the future from now.

He traveled back to his former self. He gave himself some stock tips and said, "Hey, you should run for president in 2016 when populism is sweeping the globe." Well, no one could beat that. That's fucking genius. I don't know why we're laughing. Give it up for that guy. Kumite! Kumite! Kumite! Kumite! Kumite! Kumite! Doesn't that feel great? Everyone can go sit down because no one can top that. I feel like that was great. Brilliant.

Thank you, sir. That was an amazing observation. Now, obviously, we have opinions about this movie. Wait, why are you, you're jumping forward as if you went from talking to him straight to her on stage? What is this, Time Cop? This whole podcast is going to be Memento style. It's as if these last few minutes didn't exist. It's as if the logic of how did this get made is flawed.

Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie. There are other people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. I watched this movie, now I'm done. It's time for Second Opinions. Amazon.com and buns got in my way. These buns from both sides now. Watch the whole thing and still say.

I love this movie, though it's bizarre. I guess I'll give this film five stars. Amazing, amazing. The first standing ovation for a second opinion theme. Holy cow. You are awesome. That's how it's done. What is your name, ma'am? That's how it's done. My name is Emily Yee.

Thank you so much. You were amazing. I'm going to give you a signed How Did This Get Made poster and then this great book called Great Showdowns, The Revenge by our guy, our friend Scott C. who does these amazing drawings. Check him out. Well, the Time Cop second opinions were pretty great. I'll start off with this one by Griffin Dunn.

And his name kind of sounds like Hang Nong Mang, but it's actually Hag Manon. Griffin Hang Manon goes, not a full mullet, but close enough to be entertaining. Five stars. Close enough to be entertaining gets five stars? I guess he just judges movies on people's mullets. This is from Adele. Not Adele, but just Adele. I would love it if Adele wrote a review on this.

Hello. For those of you who like Jean-Claude Van Damme, this is the best. Just a great story for those who like time travel movies. Movies like It's a Wonderful Life. Not technically a time travel movie.

For those who like time travel movies, this might be in the top ten. Think about it. All the time travel movies that have ever been made over the years and a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie is mentioned amongst them. That's pretty good. Five stars. Well, that doesn't count because she mentioned it. You're the one mentioning it. That's like saying he's the best actor of all time. Pretty amazing that he's considered the best actor of all time. Um...

And then this one's an odd one by Nat Curtis. I first saw this film in the movies, and I enjoyed it then as I do now. It helps people grow beyond a limited view. Five stars. Huh. That's pretty... I mean, it really changed this guy's worldview, this movie. Um...

So this movie was conceived to be a sequel right off the bat. Jean-Claude didn't want to get into the sequel game, so he opted out. The movie was eventually remade, or they made it in 2000, or I guess a little bit later, with Jason Scott Lee, the guy who played Bruce Lee in the movie Dragon, and it was called The Berlin Decision, Time Cop 2. It also became a TV series that ran for nine episodes on ABC in 1997. It was a Super Nintendo video game, and...

And it was Jean-Claude Van Damme's highest grossing movie that he ever did, making $44 million at the box office on a budget of $27 million. That's not very successful. Like, legitimately. The three movies of 94, Forrest Gump, The Lion King, and True Lies. And this came in at 31st. Someone really, yeah. I'm sorry, Our Gang Rejected.

You tell him, Paul. You'll see. True lies. What if you looked over and it was just Arnold Schwarzenegger with a little voice box? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's right.

Obviously, if you have a different opinion than we have here, you can give us a call at 619-P-A-U-L-ASK. That's 619-Paul-Ask. We can leave your comments, your questions about anything. And are you still running 619-Paul-Ask? But I don't advertise it on this podcast. Yeah. I don't talk about it on this podcast. Yes, I do, but I don't talk about it on this podcast. I don't talk about 619-Paul-Ask. I don't talk about it. Yeah, okay. Let's go down the line. Jason, would you recommend someone to watch... Fuck yes!

Watch this movie all the time, cop. This movie is fucking awesome. It's pretty terrific. It's loads of nonsense. Everybody's chewing up the scenery. I say 100%. Go for it. June? Yes. And I feel like it's the right amount of time for this movie. It's not too long, which is, I guess, a glowing review. It's not too long. It's not too long.

June Diane Rayfield. You can watch it on a plane ride, like a plane ride from L.A. to Austin. Nick? I mean, yes. In any number of ways, yes. And I think it's a tribute to actor-activist Ron Silver. So, so good. And by the way, Paul, when Ron Silva came on the screen, I said, because I didn't see the opening titles, first I said, is that Andy Garcia? Yeah.

And then you said, that's Ron Silva. And I said, Ron Silver? And then we never spoke about that again until tonight. I really do, but I'm obsessed with the fact that I've only heard people pronounce it as a child. Right. And it was ingrained in my head as Ron Silva. You're like, that's not Ron Silva, that's Andy Garcia. And before we go, I want to give a big thank you to you, everybody here in Austin, for coming out. Thank you.

We are blown away by the amount of you that came out. It means the world to us. Everybody here at the Paramount Theater who was amazingly professional and awesome, we thank you so much. A big thank you to Averill Halley who cuts all of our clips here. You can follow her on Movie Bitches on YouTube. We'll see you next time.

That is it for our Austin episode. Again, you can catch Jason and Nick in the new Amy Poehler-Will Ferrell movie, The House. And make sure if you have any questions, concerns, anything at all, you call us at 619-PAUL-ASK. That's 619-PAUL-ASK to register a complaint, a question about your life, or something that we might have missed from Time Cop. And we will play that in our mini episode. 619-PAUL-ASK. It's a Google number, so I think it's free to access.

from around the world. All right, people, we will see you next week on How Did This Get Made? mini episode. And a big thank you to Avril Halle, who pulled all of our clips. Leanna Waldron, who designs all of our cool little designs on Facebook and Twitter. Kelly Alta, who just pulls the whole ship together.

Of course, our good, good friend, Nate Kiley, who does all of our research. All the amazing people at the theater that we were at in Austin. They just killed it, the Paramount Theater. They were amazing. We love being there. July Diaz, all the engineers at Earwolf, because I don't know which one's editing this. All right. See you all next time. Bye-bye. Earwolf.

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Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the internet and cable TV or as your mom called me that sports gal from celebrity jeopardy. I have a new podcast called casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights, and good old fashioned drama.

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