Matinee Monday: Sharknado (w/ Scott Aukerman)
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How much am I spending on travel?

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Maybe the most important film about climate change since An Inconvenient Truth, we saw Sharknado, so you know what that means. Now it's time for...

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to a very special episode of How Did This Get Made? We are breaking our running order because...

There was an attack. A Sharknado attack hit Twitter, hit the internet, hit the sci-fi channel. We needed to regroup and talk about it. I am joined, as always, by Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? What is happening? This movie is amazing. And June Diane, how are you? June Diane Rayfield? I'm good. How are you, Paul? Good. I was very nervous about this interaction. What is happening with you? People, we have this weird thing. I have to...

There you go. Now you're going to have to speak to it. Yes. Well, people say that we introduce each other weirdly. For a married couple. For a married couple. But it's like, you're not with us 90% of the time. If you didn't know that, then that's a fun introduction. And there's like no other time you'd be introducing me like that. I don't know how else to react. Yeah. How are you, Jared? I will say this, because a lot of people don't know this part of it.

is that when you guys are speaking a little bit remotely to each other in those moments, you guys are fondling each other's genitals. Oh, for sure. So there is intimacy there. It's always a physical intimacy. Joining us is a return guest, star creator of...

Comedy Bang Bang, which is currently in its second season on the IFC channel. You can see it every Friday night at 10 p.m. and 9 central. Please welcome Scott Aukerman. Hello, people of Earth. That's my catchphrase. Oh, wait a second. That's not your catchphrase. Oh, that's right. It's What's Up Hot Dog. Hello, everyone. Well, I'm so excited that we can convene a very special How Did This Get Made podcast.

Like, calls went out last night. It was, calls went out. Which, by the way, we were supposed to do a different movie. Can we talk about that? We were supposed to do Alex Cross. And I watched a shitty, shitty movie. I'll buy my lonesome, apparently. We were supposed to watch the Tyler Perry detective film, Alex Cross, and we weren't supposed to air this when it was supposed to be aired, but

Was it terrible? It's more boring than anything else. Would it not have been fun? I would do the other, the last Tyler Perry movie. Yeah, yeah. I would do that one. I'm dying to see it. I'm dying to see it. What is it called? Temptation. Where the twist is. Yeah, don't talk about it. Do that one instead, in my opinion. That was just in theaters with Kim Kardashian.

Oh, okay. Well, Scott, you get MVP because you watched Alex Cross. Most valuable podcast? Thank you so much. Yeah, you get most valuable podcast there. Because you watched two movies. But last night, Sharknado was on. I'm going to slip in jokes about Alex Cross during this whole show, by the way. I think it's a nice Easter egg. Last night, Sharknado hit Sci-Fi Channel. The Twittersphere went nuts for it. You can find millions of GIFs, memes, memes.

I saw stuff. Because this happened to me, which I was very bummed about. For some reason, my DVR only recorded 40 minutes of it. Oh, no. What? The last 40 minutes, thank God. Oh, that's all right. So then I went online so that I could watch the beginning. Okay. And Paul, you called the Audible after it was already on. In the East Coast. Which I get the East Coast. Okay. So I had to then do the...

the West Coast feed, which was on an hour later, and so I had to stay up a really long time. Oh, poor baby. I'm so sorry. I'm tired. Again, MVP, most valuable podcast. I know you were doing a morning show this morning. I did Kevin and Bean this morning. Please stop plugging other radio. Guys, listen to Kevin and Bean. Don't plug terrestrial radio. Where can we hear your appearance on Kevin and Bean? Well, it's podcast itself. Oh, wow. KaroQ.com.

All right, let's talk about this movie because here's, I want to just lay down something first and foremost. A lot of people go, well, no, no, they were setting out to make a bad movie. And I disagree with that wholeheartedly only because this went to Cannes. This was sold at Cannes. Wait, what? Oh, oh, oh, not in competition. It was not a Cannes Film Festival, it was the Cannes Market. Yes, at the Cannes Market. The marketplace thing, yeah. You know, you go there, you buy your Sharknado's, you buy your Helen Hunt movies. It was all bling ring. Yeah.

But I do believe, you know, that... Your Helen Hunt movies? Your Helen Hunt movies. You know, fucking can rotten with Helen Hunt movies. I guess I'll buy this Helen Hunt movie. Okay, great. I'll buy that Helen Hunt movie and Sharknado. Look, I'll get Sharknado only if the dad from Home Alone is in it. And I can pretend like it's actually Kevin McCallister's dad just later on in life. Oh, maybe Ian Ziering is Kevin McCallister all grown up. Oh!

Change his name to Finn. All right, this movie... I want to talk about the... I want to put quotes around movie. Yeah. Because here's my thought. When people go, well, they were trying to have fun with it. I don't think so, because they didn't do anything far enough to go... It felt more to me like Birdemic and The Room than something that was incredibly self-aware. There are moments that were crazy. Yeah...

I think... Yeah, maybe. But it's not as earnest as those movies. There is a degree of camp to it. Just like... This stuff happens that are so funny. Yes. I don't think that... I think the humor in the movie...

They thought it was going to be intentionally funny, but it is laughably funny. See what I'm saying? There are certain jokes in there that they're like, oh man, this is going to be comic relief that they lay there. Well, and then to speak to this whole premise is that the opening scene of this movie is

Which correlates to nothing. Nothing. Zero. I want to know, like, was anyone paying attention? Does it make sense to you? It makes sense. Here's what's so funny about that scene. The businessman is having a meeting on this boat. I mean, it looks like they're in the middle. They're off of the Gulf of Mexico. They're in the middle of nowhere. And it's, like, played as, like, a business meeting. Like, he just stopped by.

He's in a suit. He's in the galley of a ship. Did he take a rowboat into the ship? Like, where did he come from? And the boat is like a fishing trawler. It's not like a grand, eloquent boater. It's like deadliest catch level boat. Yes, he didn't land a chopper.

or anything like that. There'd be no way. First of all, I want to have a lot. He must have been on this boat for days. In that suit. Yeah, in that suit with a briefcase or whatever. Waiting for this meeting. Waiting for a meeting. In the waiting room. He's like the ship captain. With a cup of coffee. Can I get you anything? The ship captain is the most passive aggressive businessman. He's like, well, he'll take a meeting with you, but you have to go out to sea for about two or three weeks. It's a lot like meeting with Lorne Michaels. That's what I was going to say. He's the Lorne Michaels of boat captains.

The guy he was having the meeting with, you guys noticed he was completely dubbed the entire time. Oh, I didn't notice that. Yes, I did notice that. I was barely paying attention. I actually have to say I had a lot of trouble with the sound in this movie. Oh, really? I couldn't hear. Well, okay, so obviously people were ADR'd, but could you hear dialogue? Like, the levels seemed so low. The business, the noise of the event,

Of Sharknado. Of Sharknado were so loud. Like the chomping and the. And the chomping was like chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. But then the actual words were so low. So low. I agree. Yes. Thank you. Well, this movie clearly was not color corrected, sound mixed or anything. The color correction is bonkers. I mean, it's like it's raining in some angles and then it cuts to the other angle. It's a beautiful sunny day. No effort made.

I do believe that the majority of this movie was shot in a car wash whenever they're in a scene. And it's just a white world and you can't see anything. Hey, Ian Ziering, do you want to hang out at this car wash for one day? We rented this car wash. We need to get through 40 pages of dialogue. Let's do it. I believe his name is Ian Ziering. Oh, so sorry. Oh, that's right, it is. It is. Can we just mention, though, who this movie is written by? Please do. Thunder Levin. No! No!

Thunder Levin, whose piece of IMDb trivia, the only piece of trivia about him is... Thunder is his real name. Yep. Thunder is his real name. Thunder Levin. Well, he directed a movie called Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood.

He wrote a movie called Atlantic Rim, which I guess is kind of eating off Pacific Rim. Okay, so when I was at K-Rock, which you should hear me. Cut it out. They had a whole bunch of DVDs made by the same company that I guess the director was there the day before. Asylum is this company. They make a movie like Transmorphers, right? Yeah, what they do is they make these DVDs and put them in stores so that you will get confused and think that you are buying... Yeah.

Transformers, but what you were really buying is Transmorphers. And I read another thing about this. Wow. It's specifically geared towards the DVR audience because you'll be like, oh, I want to see Transformers. And you get a T-R-A-N and you say, oh, Transmorphers pops up and you just order it. And so even if you mistakenly order it, they make money. Sure, sure. That's very smart. Yeah. I tip my hat to that.

By the way, thank you so much for wearing your hat today. Oh, I always wear it. By the way, that's another thing people don't know about the podcast. June always wears like a 10-gallon hat. Sometimes it's those hats that people wear to British weddings, like very ornate hats. It's not comfortable. I do want to talk about some of the Asylum movies. There's American Warships, which came out last summer. Battleships. Battleships. And they also released A.E. Apocalypse Earth.

Which is, I think, AI. Yeah. Or like... What is that? Yeah. No, it's After Earth. Oh, yeah. Or Oblivion. Or Oblivion. Something like that, yeah. And that also stars Richard Grieco. Oh, the Greek. Atlantic Rim, which is coming out, of course. Pacific Rim, yeah. And they also directed something that seems like it's supposed to be a Fast and the Furious thing called 200 Miles an Hour. Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's pretty fast. You have to agree about that. An amateur racer gets involved in illegal street racing after the death of his brother. Did you say in legal street racing? Oh, illegal. Sorry. That would be... That's not a very good movie. Street racing is legal.

In a world where street racing is legal. Everything else, exactly the same. They just wanted to drive the speed limit. So, the opening of this movie on the boat with this meeting, I did love this fact that when they are... I don't even, first of all, understand what this meeting was about. They were killing sharks, right? I thought what it was was they were on a boat that had a whole bunch of... They'd captured a whole bunch of sharks. 20,000... A pod of 20,000 sharks. Wait, all the sharks were just on that boat? No. That's what...

That's what I thought it was supposed to be. I thought he had them like where he was. I don't think they were on the boat. That's what I thought. I thought they captured all. What I thought they were doing was they captured all the sharks. Yes. Which then a tornado happens. And because that boat happens to be where it is, the sharks get lifted up into the tornado. That's what I thought it was. That's what happened. Now, I don't think that's what it is, though. But why was that guy, when the first time you see him, he drank like an egg out of

Like, was he eating like a shark drink or something? Because he passed like a bowl to him. I didn't notice that. And he drank it and he goes, it's good, not great. And then he's like, I'm going to only give you like $100,000. Oh, were the sharks for food?

I don't know. For shark fin soup, maybe? That's what I thought. Because it was also all different kinds of sharks. Hammerhead, tiger shark. It was as if all the sharks in the world were at a meeting together in one part of the ocean. They were waiting in that waiting room. That's why this tornado was really confusing, because you could argue that if the tornado happened there, it would be that one type of shark that's indigenous to that body of water. But it was all the types of sharks. But it was all sharks.

Well, you could also argue that when sharks are sucked out of the water via a tornado, they're not breathing. They can't breathe anymore. These sharks live for days in a tornado without water. But hold on. Isn't a tornado made of sort of water? Like, doesn't it have precipitation? Not that much water. They're not like in a fish tank of water. They get oxygen from water. From what I know of tornadoes, they're wind.

essentially. And what do you know of tornadoes? June was an amateur storm chaser. Go ahead, tell them. From what I know, Helen Hunt was based on June. And I'm not saying I know a lot or enough, but

From what I know of tornadoes, wind starts to sort of pick up dirt and debris and it kind of collapses. You know nothing about tornadoes. And it forms like a cyclone that starts to move. When a tornado is like a cyclone? I wish everybody had a visual of what's happening.

I will say this. A lot of hand movement. June is kind of right. It would have made sense if the sharks got wrapped up in a cyclone because a cyclone is a tornado in water. For what I know of cyclones. But sharklone doesn't sound quite as good. Sharklone would have been... June, you're kind of wrong and kind of right. A tornado is a violently rotating column of air that is in contact with both the surface of the earth

And in rare cases, the base of a cumulus cloud, they're often referred to as cyclones. I thought a cyclone happened in water. It says a cyclone is a low-pressure circulation. I mean, I'm just telling you what they say. But I mean, like, I would argue, just from what's happened just here, I know you're reading off the internet, but whatever, but it sounds like June knows more. I think that June should get on this. And I'm saying I don't know everything, but I may know more than that.

All I know is during the movie, someone said, this is impossible. And Ian Ziering said, no, it's not. This is very possible. And from that moment, I was on board. Well, here's another thing that I will say about this movie. And that's the thing about the laziness. Like, at least in Birdemic, there's like a two-minute scene where some guy clunkily explains...

Well, the birds are revolting because of this. It's bad science. But in this, there is no explanation besides simply that line. And here's the other weird thing about the sharks. When the sharks hit land out of the tornado, I would think they'd immediately want to find water. No, they would flop around. Like they would be flapping around. Dying. Because they're drowning in air, which is what happens when you put a fish. Instead...

Any human being would get sucked up. They are chomping their fucking mouths because they're hungry, apparently. They fly repeatedly. Sharks fly out of the air and lock onto someone's limbs. Sharks? It's like they're flying through the air going, chompa, chompa, chompa, chompa.

Until they just hit something fleshy. And by the way, the land shark in the old Saturday Night Live sketches with Chevy Chase look more realistic than the sharks in this movie. For sure. These sharks look like they're catapulted like Raggedy Ann dolls. It's like, through a window. Oh my God, when the shark blows through the window of the restaurant, I was laughing so hard. The effects are bad. The effects are next level bad.

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I want to just go back to the boat scene for just one second because now the fact that there were 20,000 sharks there, I'm piecing it together. But I love that when the Asian man hands over the money to the Lorne Michaels boat captain, it's in a tackle box. But yet there's some tackle in there still. What? I didn't notice that. There are lures in the tackle box. It's like, well, hello. When in Rome. I just thought that was so funny.

And the captain was like, we're going to cut your sketch. He'll put a little something on top for him. And it was so like, Jay was placed because it wasn't like, oh, they put money on top of the lures. It was like, they put the money and it's like, ah, it doesn't look right. Let's put some lures in there too. Maybe it was camouflage?

Maybe he just borrowed the tackle box so it would be being used. Okay, that makes sense. So we'll put some words in there. And then all of a sudden, the wind picks up. They just start shooting at each other for no reason. Well, that's the other thing. Why are they shooting? There was never any motivation for that. Just all of a sudden, like...

Like a Sharknado star, which by the way, when I first saw this title, I thought it was Sharknado for a long time. I was like trying to figure out what is Sharknado? Why is everyone talking about Sharknado? But yeah, they just, he runs out, starts immediately firing at this guy for no reason. No reason at all. And then that's a losing battle to run around the boat shooting a gun. Like there's no escape. Like he was trying to be like, I'm out of here. But it's like, well, you're on a boat in the middle of the Mexican waters. The Lonely Island special.

So anyway, that scene goes away and we are to never think of it again. Never. But it basically establishes for us that there's a lot of sharks in this location and a tornado comes by and sucks them all up into itself. In which, yes, we meet our... That's the establishment of Sharknado. But then the question is, there are three Sharknados.

Yeah, because here's the other thing. I don't think that the beginning thing necessarily relates to the rest of the movie because they then have someone talking on TV, which, by the way, what is her name? Oh, Johnny with an I. She keeps mentioning that. What is that about? Johnny with an I. Was it Johnny Blaze was her name? That was such a weird specific that I liked. Did you feel bad when she got killed? I did, but I felt like that was...

there were,

Is it based on Johnny Mountain and then they cast a woman and so she felt like she had to say Johnny the weatherman here on ABC? Anyway, that's like a local reference, but I feel like they wrote it in the script like a Johnny Mountain, like Johnny Blow. It was an odd thing because if you were a fan of this newscast, which you probably are if you're watching it, you wouldn't need her to introduce herself with an I every time unless there's two Johnnies at the same time. I think that was her catchphrase or whatever. But anyway, back to the point.

She starts talking about how there have been, and Ian Ziering, I think, starts talking about how there have been a lot of sharks collecting in the ocean recently. So it's not like these sharks are being shipped in by the Sharknado. The sharks are already there. Really? So what does that beginning have to do with it? Okay, so wait a second. So in the beginning when Ian Ziering is surfing and there's like a million sharks in the water, is that just random or did a Sharknado drop them off? No, I think sharks.

sharks have been there and then the Sharknado comes and lifts more sharks up. I don't know. Why are there so many sharks? There's a lot of sharks. That opening scene when he's surfing with the girl. When he's surfing with the woman and he can't surf at all it's like Gidget style surfing. Like shot from below while he wiggles his arms. He's supposed to be like a world champion surfer. Well he's taking a little bit of a break. I thought

for the beginning I kept on saying the June because the sound mix was so bad I was like does Ian Ziering have an accent I thought he was also trying to do an Australian accent I couldn't tell if the guy was Australian for a long time until that line of dialogue about etiquette I thought you were Australian not British I

Great line. I also like when that girl's getting eaten in the water and Ian says to her, get out of the water. Yeah. But they're in the middle of the ocean. There's nowhere to go. He's standing in water up to his chest. Yeah. There are 12 million sharks apparently. And he's screaming, sharks!

Sharks, get out of the water. And he's just watching as chaos ensues. Yeah, he doesn't go anywhere. He doesn't get on his surfboard. He doesn't get out of the water. He is like just a sitting duck. And I would also argue at that point, maybe the reason why he's a sitting duck is because the sharks are kind of this like lazy chompers. Like they kind of eat you, but they don't like, they're not like, they're just kind of like hump.

That was eating that guy's leg, the Australian guy. That Australian guy had that shark on his leg for quite some time. I feel like they had maybe 35 minutes of stuff, so they put in a lot of time. One of the things... There was stuff that I was like, wait a second. Is this scene happening in real time? What was it? Hold on. There was one thing. Let me find it. Well, time is a crazy thing in this movie because...

You're supposed to understand that

This shark attack, this massive shark attack at the beach happened, I guess, that morning. And then where the people are, they're reacting in such a way where they're just really running in circles. I felt like that 20 extra. But I would say it looks like in that first opening scene, you know, it looks like at least seven people died. Oh, no, no. It was a giant shark attack at Santa Monica Pier. But then once we're at Finn's and the Australian guy. His name is Finn, by the way. We haven't talked about that.

Oh, man. The names would be amazing. Finn, Cam, Nova. Great names all across the board. But this massive shark attack has happened. Written by Thunder. Which is his real name. The next scene, they're at the bar. And I think to myself, well, I guess we must be weeks later. Yeah, because the whole beach would be shut down. Shut down. Everything. Your best buddy, the Australian.

Australian had his leg in a shark's mouth and he's just at the bar. Everybody's hanging out. This should be like they went to the hospital. I know how long it takes to take someone to the emergency room because I just took someone. Is everything okay? Paul Rust sliced his

hand open at my house. This was like a month ago. But the most blood I've ever seen. Is his hand okay? Yeah, yeah, it's great. But I took him to the emergency room and it was hours before anyone even looked at him. Did you stab him?

He sliced it open himself, I swear. Hey, Scott, can Paul Rust play the piano? Did he ever before? Were you mad at him? Were you mad at him, Scott? So this would be, he would have come back to the bar at night at the very least. So it should have been, yeah. Well, even that aside, though, people have died. Yes. A lot of people whipping. I would say eight people died. People have died and...

The people that we are with at the Peach Pit, or wherever they are, Fins, the people that we're with watched people get eaten by sharks. And no one is reacting. And they don't seem traumatized, shocked. They're quipping it up. They're laughing and goofing. Oh, my God. It's like any night at Fins. That's a testament to Fins, though. That's true. Fins is the place to hang out on the Santa Monica boardwalk.

Well, not anymore. Not anymore. Oh, my God. One of my favorite moments, too, is I felt like there was a lot of investors in this movie. Like, people who invested in this movie was like, oh, and you have a part, too. And your daughter will have a part. Like, when that first shark attack is happening, they cut to a little girl, like, in a red dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, with her hand to her head and just, like, looking out, like, four times. Yeah. It was like, oh, that's my daughter. I gave you $100,000 to make this. No, there's a lot of that in this movie. Yeah, there's a lot of... There's people who should not be acting at all and not...

the people, you know, the main stars of the movie. No. Oh, no. And I think there's a lot of scenes in this movie that might have been just like stock footage. Yeah. No, there's a lot. Oh, when they're driving through L.A. that is going through this tsunami, because that's really what it is, they're like showing pictures of... Shurknami. Shurknami. They're showing pictures of Haiti, it feels like. Yeah. That's not like...

Santa Monica. Plus they're cutting in a lot of like Discovery Channel footage of sharks. Anytime there actually is footage of sharks, it's obviously bought. They never had a real shark. Never. They bought one giant shark fin. Yes. And they had that shark fin cam, which was going behind the shark. Yeah, I guess just to wrap up this question, I do think that the shark attacks on the beach...

are unrelated to the Sharknado. Yeah, I don't know. I think they are. I think logically that does make sense because I don't think they have anything to do with Sharknado. Because the Sharknado didn't truck in these sharks. It's not like a Sharknado happened and boom, deposited these sharks in the water and then they attacked. I think they're unrelated. Especially because of the time cut because he comes back with a bandage so it's our

No, no, no. I think what happened, this is what I think happened. Again, I'm not a scientist. I know a lot of you are writing in and asking me science questions, but here's what I think happened. The tornado picked up like, say, 15,000. 20,000. No, no, I'm going to say 15,000 sharks. Okay. That's a little less than 20. Okay. And then 5,000 were just displaced and pushed into the shores. They were like the John the Baptist of the sharks. So they arrived before.

They arrived before. They're the warning sign. So the other ones were being sucked up into the tornado. The other ones were being pushed ashore. Interesting. Because that was a shitload of sharks. It was. It was too many. It was way too many sharks. The reason why it's unclear is because Ian Ziering says that they've been having shark attacks. They've been having shark attacks. I swear they said that. They've been having shark attacks. He's being very blasé about it. He's like, everybody just stay out of the water for a couple days. It's totally fine. Well, I mean, poor man's Kaley Cuoco.

Poor man's Kaley Cuoco. Who? The bartender? The bartender. Oh, Nova. I liked her. The female perspective. I thought she was good. I thought she was good. She did a good job. I thought she was one of the best actors. No. She was probably one of the best. Can I mention Tara Reade and Kulop brought this up because she was watching with me. The first time you see Tara Reade, which, by the way, the actresses

Act break on this movie, if you watch it on TV, it fades out. Basically, Ian Ziering sees a giant tidal wave approaching, kind of looks at it strangely, picks up the phone, fade out. Slow fade out, then we go to commercial. That's not a place for a fade out. If you're amateur act breakers out there- Tidal wave? I got to make a call. Fade out. But when he calls Tara Reid on the phone, she is standing on a staircase, and behind her-

is her headshot. A Tara Reid headshot. A Tara Reid headshot framed on the wall. And it comes back later on when her boyfriend is getting eaten by a shark and there's water in the house. During that sequence, there's another Tara Reid portrait that's in like a curio cabinet or something that you see in the background. It's like Tara. And then there's also a single portrait of him that floats around.

It's a strange thing. You guys, we're going to hire you for this movie. We need you to bring a couple of headshots. Bring some headshots, please. I thought I got the movie. If you've got them framed, that's even better. Bring them either way. Tara Reid is like, oh, I've got a bunch of framed headshots. By the way, Tara Reid, I

I don't like her character in this. She's a pretty awful person. She doesn't, you know, we'll get to. The love story in this is so strange because in the beginning. By the way, yeah, go ahead. You thought that Einzering was. It was supposed to be Einzering with the Nova. Yeah. Well, she makes a pass at him. But before that, I thought he was making a pass at the surfer.

Oh, he's totally into the surfer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's after the surfer girl. He watches her get eaten. Nova makes a pass at him, and he's like, get back to work. What are you doing? I'm your boss. That ball is up in the air for a long time about Nova liking him. And he kind of gets back into her. He's like, that's sexy when you shoot that gun. So their love story is... And then he saves her. I mean, not to spoil it a little bit, but he saves her at the end, which is what the hero of a movie does. Except that it's basically like she's meant for his son now.

Yeah, it's weird. Well, she was into her son. I mean, she was like, you know what? I'm not going to get it with Finn. Finn's still caught up on his beautiful wife, his beautiful April. But I thought this was going to be about when he sets up

in the beginning of the movie on that phone call that this woman, you know, he doesn't have his family anymore. He doesn't have anything pretty much. I think that the whole story is going to be about him getting back with his wife and kids and proving that he's the man of the family and not this boyfriend. But why was he a bad man of the family? He's a good man that they don't like. Exactly. They established that when Tara Reade says your problem is always that you're trying to save everyone else. Yeah. What's the problem with that? That goes against

against your idea of what the movie should be, which is he saves everyone else and proves it. He needs to be the fucker. He needs to be the... What? We didn't make this movie. You motherfucker. But don't you think... We didn't do this. Don't you think he should have been the drunk? He should have been the John Heard character who then came back. Or he abandoned them for surfing or whatever it was. Or he's the Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven who's been a really good guy but then when sharks come... Or...

Or he's the guy who's afraid of fucking sharks. Yes. And he doesn't like to talk about it. That's Nova in her Robert Shaw monologue. Oh. Which we have a very special treat today because, June, you're going to do the monologue. I'd like to give it a try. I love that.

I'm not in my full voice. Do you need to warm up your instrument? What's going on? A little bit. Enough qualifications. We'll just see how you do. I do want to just, I want to talk about one thing that we, it's not really worth, I don't know, but the, not only, this tornado works in such a way that things are destroyed and like collapse as if they're all rigged with bombs.

But a Ferris wheel at one point is unleashed from the Santa Monica Pier and it goes just rolling. And it was one of my favorite death by giant Ferris wheel ever. Just one guy gets crushed by a Ferris wheel. I almost feel like I would like to see a movie of just a runaway Ferris wheel. Actually, that was a very exciting scene. Runaway Ferris wheel, Nato. That would be amazing. Oh, my God.

It's a Ferris wheel with sharks. All the Ferris wheels have been sucked up. Here's the other weird thing we find out on that phone call, because Nova seems to know a lot about his family situation. No, she keeps asking. No, she doesn't know anything. She doesn't know anything, because there's a line of dialogue I wrote down, which is, you have an ex-wife and a daughter? And a daughter. Yeah. So, but.

But somebody says, and maybe it's Tara Reade, somebody says, yeah, you'll see the kids when you see them every month on the 20th. One day. That's a raw deal. What has he done? What has he done to get this kind of treatment? Which, by the way, maybe isn't convenient for him

or something? Like, what if it's a Sunday on Sundays? It's not like every other Saturday. It's like, on the 20th, wherever that may fall. It's a Tuesday, no school, I guess, to go see my dad. It also seems like the 20th is a day that he needs to give them money. Here's a scene from when he comes inside the house. It'll just give you an idea of where the acting is and what the dynamics are. Here we go. Claudia! She doesn't want to talk to you. Claudia!

Oh my god. Can you describe the ruckus? Oh, shepherd. Should have figured it was you. Shepherd. He's a shepherd, by the way, because he led them all out. Finley.

April is mine. Excuse me? My girlfriend is not your responsibility. And unless it's the 20th of the month, which it currently is not, neither is Claudia. Colin, don't be rude. What is happening on the 20th? He's just worried about us. He's just worried. Every time it rains in LA, everyone swears it's the storm of the century. And even if it is, Beverly Hills Emergency Services are second to none. Even if it is, Beverly Hills Emergency Services are second to none. What kind of lackadaisical attitude is that?

She just said, sharks are falling in the streets. That is an amazing scene. Sharks are falling in the streets, and he is nonplussed. By the way, Tara Reid just saw Nova with a double barrel shotgun shoot a shark that came flying out of a sewer grate. And by the way, they never established how Nova is such a good shot. She's amazing. She's knocking down these sharks like she's a premier. She hates sharks.

And she knew that she would have to shoot some someday. One day she's going to have to shoot some land sharks. Guys, Nova's story arc is so amazing. I mean, we'll get there. But when she and the son are in the helicopter, shit goes down that is so bananas. I was like jumping out of my seat. Can we talk about it? Yes. Okay. Sure. Okay. So.

Just set up where we were at in the movie. So in the movie, he and his family have run away. They've gone to the airport. Flight school. Yeah, tiny flight school airport kind of zone. In Van Nuys. In Van Nuys. Next to an old age home. Yes, next to an old age home. Because old people can't hear. Which was, that's not like Scott being clever. That is a line in the movie. Although I have to

say, but I don't, I think that I didn't even register that as a really a joke or a plot point because it seemed like there was a lot of discrepancies. Like some people were aware of what was going on and terrified. Like at the flight school, they're hiding in a closet. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But then other people are lounging in a pool. Yes. Yes. Old age people are like, well, how is that possible that people are in the pool? Doesn't everybody know? Like people just got

sucked out of a building next door. Can I just say that maybe this movie helped me understand Katrina and why so many people were left behind? Yeah. Where was FEMA? Where was FEMA in this movie? It would happen too quickly. Where was the government in this movie? What was happening? The only time you see the government is when they're being, like, they're weaving in and out of traffic and the cops, I guess, chase them for speeding?

This actually did happen, though. Like, there were sharks in New Orleans, like, in the streets. Swimming in the streets. What? Yes, June. Well, because there was water. Because there was water. Please take a picture of June's face at this one moment. No.

That wasn't amazing. Did you not know that? Sharks were attacking people in New Orleans. I am very upset about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I feel like Thunder saw that and was like, I got a better idea. Oh, yeah. Rain it out of the sky. But you could never get the idea of how much water was in the streets. Well, at the beach, a guy whose ankle deep in water is eaten by a shark. Yeah. And the cars are not engulfed in water. They're probably up to the mid-level in the tire. And there are, like, multiple sharks underneath all of them.

Like, how does a shark even fit underneath the car? No way. Yeah. Alone on top. Maybe it's a small, like, tiger shark or something. Maybe, yeah. A sand shark, maybe. As Nova said, I like Nova's line about the tornado. She goes, it's like Old Faithful.

But then someone says, we're going to need Faith to get out of this. Oh my God. She had so many good lines. The movie is basically 80-yard lines over B-roll. That's what the entire movie is at a certain point. And over extreme close-ups because they can't film anything else. Because they can't film anywhere else. They're like, we don't have the helicopter right now, we don't have the location, so we're just going to film an incredible close-up from below. I was told that they chased Rain around. They were...

They would hear, like, it's raining in Pasadena. Let's move. Wow. And they would go find it, and then they would film there. Why go to all that trouble? It did not. No. It was not additive. Yeah, no, not at all. So the flight school, they're hiding in the thing. The family is reunited. Somebody gets sucked out of the building. Holy shit. Shit's going crazy. Okay. So they decide they're going to break into a store next door where, great news, there's Bob making supplies.

So very quickly, they all build bombs. Oh, by the way, and one of them is given... Multiple people know how to build bombs. And how to fire them off. Oh, yeah. One of them is given... Tara Reid, I think, takes a hedge trimmer as a weapon. Ian Ziering gives her a hedge trimmer. And goes, can you use this? She goes, yeah, I can use it. He goes, do you know how to use this? She goes, I can use it. Yeah.

She's mumbling through. By the way, she's sitting down most of the movie, too. When she's being attacked. By the way, not with everyone else. No. I feel like half of her part was shot in her house. She's sitting down during attacks going, oh, no, no. Well, did you guys notice one of my favorite scenes is when Tara Reid, they stop at a convenience store and they're kind of looking around at what's left.

And Tara Regis has this kind of pensive moment or reflective moment when she goes and just approaches a bunch of toiletries and just stares at them. And they're all turned. These wipe my butt. Yeah. She's just like, I'm going to stare at these antiperspirants for just a couple minutes. Stuff goes on for so long. Anyway, so they get in the sun and Nova get into the helicopter. Can we just play his line to set up what they're going to do? Please do. Here is his line.

Instead of letting live sharks rain down on people, we're going to get in that chopper and throw bombs into the tornadoes. And that is the plan. That's the plan that everybody is on board for. Nobody says, let's get out of here. Nobody says, you got a helicopter? Great, let's all get on it and we can leave. Or what if these bombs hit buildings? Or people below. Or by the way, forget about helicopters, they're out of flight school, like let's get on the

planes and just fly out of here. Get the fuck out of here. So him and Nova get in the fucking helicopter, which never moves. He barely ever moves his hand. It's the worst. Helicopter is a bad vehicle to take in the middle of a Sharknado, too. So he then flies as close as possible to the Sharknado. It was a test helicopter. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. New technology.

Okay, so he flies as close as possible to the shark data and they start to, okay. Now, June, do you want to do your performance? Because this is where this scene happens. I'd love to if it's time. Okay, so they don't know each other. Is this Ian Ziering's real son, by the way? I think I read that. Oh, that would be amazing. I'm going to take a look right now. So they don't know each other. They're just getting to know each other. And she's basically like,

Oh, they're comparing scars right beforehand. They're comparing scars. She has a scarred up leg. She doesn't want to talk about that scarred up leg. And we've seen that earlier. Yep. And he's got a scarred up chest or something from something. And he tells her his story of how he got a scar. And then she says this.

I was raised by my... Okay, she's got like an East Coast accent. You're going to do the accent too. I'm going to try, babe. I love it. Do you need some warm-up time? Do you want me to talk to you in a Boston accent? No, it was more like New York. I was raised by my grandparents. When I was seven, my grandpa took me fishing on one of those day charter deals with his friends. That was a good one. We wound up hitting into a reef and the boat went down. My grandfather took me and put me inside this little life raft for safety.

Everyone else was just kind of swimming around trying to stay up. And suddenly all these sharks just started swarming. And then they tried to protect me, but by morning... This is good. Stay with it. Stay with it. By morning they were all gone. Meaning the people, not the sharks. I was confused about that. So I... This is the craziest line. So I floated out there for...

So I floated out there for two days until those Coast Guard helicopters finally spotted me. I thought I was safe, but suddenly this shark just leapt up and bit my leg. Six people went into the water and one little girl came out. The sharks took the rest. They took my grandfather. That's why I really hate sharks. Ah!

Now, a more seasoned rider maybe wouldn't need to put that button on it. That's why I really hate sharks. That's why I really hate sharks. Guys, she was floating around in the water for two days. Yeah, a little girl.

Amazing. And now she works on the ocean. On the ocean. Directly to the proximity of Shard. She was seven years old and floating outside in the ocean for two days. Two days. So then they, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I want to see that movie. Yeah.

Me too. And this is basically Robert Shaw's monologue about whatever, the USS Mississippi or whatever it is. Because I think they directly quote the... Yes. So many people went in and the sharks took the rest. There's a lot of Jaws references. Oh yeah, we're going to need a bigger helicopter. And they kill... We're going to need a bigger helicopter. Early in the movie, they kill one shark exactly the way that they killed...

Bruce in Jaws by putting a tank in its mouth and shooting. And that was early on in this one. Almost as if like, hey, Jaws, you know, that's not good enough. We're going to do that first thing and then you're going to get that out of the way. And then you'll see some really good shark kills. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now, here's the thing. I love back to school season, but I'm going to be honest. It's expensive.

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Yeah, she says, we're going to need a bigger helicopter, which is a Jaws quote. Oh, crap. Look at all those sharks, she says at one point, while they're flying close to it. And when they fly close to the Sharknado, it's just teeming with live sharks chomping around like, what the fuck is going on? Then they start throwing bombs into the things, and there's three tornadoes, and the first one works, the second one works, the third one...

It doesn't work. And a shark latches itself onto the helicopter. And she takes a knife and starts stabbing it. And she's like, yeah, I'm going to. She said, I think I wrote it down. She's basically like, they're flying. By the way, they're super close to the tornado, which always was freaking me out. I hope this. Oh, anyways, this is so stupid. Okay.

She's stabbing the thing and killing it and then loses her footing, falls out of the helicopter and into a shark's mouth. Just perfectly. Just like, thump. Thump right in it. Like, totally. Which was surprising to us. Totally, totally perfect. Like, fell out of a helicopter into the belly of a shark. It was like a beautiful NBA shot. It was all net. Nothing but net. Nothing but net.

We were watching and we were like, she's dead? She can't be. That's what I said. I lost my mind at that point. When she fell out and just fell for like five feet and then like totally perfectly into a shark. Because that's what I was obsessed with watching it. The same thing happens to the Australian guy. He's just sitting on his car and a shark falls over.

onto him mouth first to just like chomp chomp onto his leg I don't think that these sharks want to eat humans I think that they're almost like their mouth is open because they're like oh fuck I'm in a tornado and then they just land on him maybe the red shirt kid who's just running and the shark falls on him and it just bites his arm off bites his arm off

And then a different shark just happens to land on him, breaking him in two. By the way, a lot of deaths in this shark tornado are because of just sharks falling and landing on him. I mean, they're just being tossed, but there's some deaths, too, that are weird. Sometimes people get their arm ripped off, but then that ship captain gets eaten by the shark. Piece by piece. Yeah, his face is a little bit exfoliated or something. It's like they're each... Because he's in the sharknado. It's like each pass of a shark, they just get...

the next layer of epidermis. Yes. You know what I mean? I know we're going to get to the big, the final... Oh, yeah. We're going to get to it. But before we do, can I just mention the worst line of dialogue? Sure. The one that I mean they think is going to be really funny and campy but is just terrible is the Australian guy, the aforementioned Australian guy. Once Tara Reid's boyfriend dies and they're basically standing knee-deep in bloody water, he looks down at the water and says, looks like that time of the month. No! That was my favorite!

favorite line too because that was like that oh that was a totally 80 yard line in a bloody red room by the way they couldn't find the shark in the 8x12 room which yeah was kind of a gimme uh but uh do you mean the 8x12 room because there's 8x12s of Tara Reid up on the wall yeah the 8x yeah she makes her headshots she makes her headshots slightly bigger so they stick out in a in a cast directive pile you have to these days oh you're telling me um

The director here, I'm looking at his Twitter page, and he says that he tried to make this movie in the vein of early Peter Jackson. Oh. And... With the feebles and stuff? I guess. Early Peter Jackson, early Sam Raimi. And...

And he talks a little bit about John Heard. And I want to kind of get into John Heard's death. Oh, yeah. We haven't even talked about it. He's the most famous guy in this whole thing. Yes. Clearly didn't want to be there for that much. And his character, I thought, died very early. And he writes here, the director, he says... He goes he had to kill John Heard because...

Story-wise, it wasn't possible to keep him around for the rest of the movie. They couldn't afford him for more than one day. But here's what's weird about the final sort of... The people who are left at the end. It's these...

Heroes that we know, Ian Ziering, Nova... Nova's technically not left at the end. No! Well, but I'm saying just... You're right. But a part of the team that's at this supply store or whatever, who's going to go to the final battle to the shark tornado, is like Nova, Ian Ziering, Tara Reid... The daughter. The daughter, Claudia. The son. The son. And then just...

two random guys from the flight school. Yeah. Like, it's so strange that they don't just give us our final team at the end. Right. Well, I think they definitely wanted some deaths, but they couldn't kill off any of the people that we care so much about. Well, the Australian guy got killed. But even to introduce the sun that late in the movie. It's a little bizarre. Is that Ian Ziering's son? I looked. It is not Ian Ziering's son. What? I just had a thought. The bombs they put in the Sharknadoes

would arguably kill a lot of people as well, right? Would they? Oh, yeah. It's an explosion. And then it was probably where they were touching down on the ground. Yeah. What? No, but I mean, I'm sure they would kill people, but like, I mean... Maybe it was worth it? Yeah, all those sharks are now... All those sharks then fell onto people, I'm sure. Yeah, so they killed...

They may have killed more people. What's the harm? Just let the Sharknado pass. Exactly. Sharknado is going to run out. What are you talking about? The Sharknado is like scooping up people. But it eventually ends. It eventually ends. All tornadoes end. They don't go on forever. Well, there were three Sharknados in Los Angeles. How do tornadoes die out?

Yeah, I think just weather conditions change. But you know a little bit about tornadoes. How do they die? This is one of the things I don't know about tornadoes. By the way, this leads me to believe that prologue had something to do with it. Wouldn't it be marine life NATO? Like, wouldn't it be every kind of fish and kelp? That's why I think it's the beginning.

Like, they had all those sharks there. The tornado originated there. Those sharks became the Sharknado. But then how did it split into three? There's three Sharknados. Oh, guys, this is actually very bad news for how tornadoes end. When it starts raining, it gets cold and tornadoes end. But this movie then posits it's raining the entire time. Yeah, it's raining. Somebody needed to do more research. Thunder. Thunder.

I'm looking at you, Thunder Levin. Oh my God, could you believe the destruction of Beverly Hills? I mean, all those great places. The Hotel Roosevelt. Prada and...

Family Mart. Everyone. Man's Chinese Theater. But Family Mart, that was in the middle of the Beverly Hills. Yeah, I didn't see that one. It was just like... It was first a shot of Rodeo Drive, and then it was a shot of Family Mart. What is even... I don't even know what Family Mart is. Speaking of random shots, April Richardson pointed this out on Instagram. They, in the news footage, they have a lower third saying Hurricane, you know... David. Hurricane David, which by the... Are hurricanes named...

male names? No, they're always female. No, I think they changed it now. Oh, they changed it? Okay. Oh, really? I think so. Because there was like, wasn't there like an Ivan a couple years ago? Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah, you're right. But they misspell hurricane. What? It's hurricane in it. That's how little people, that's how people are asleep at the switch in this movie. Hurricane.

Yeah. So John Heard dies. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just saying like the it did start to feel I mean, I think I think this wasn't fully explored, but I think maybe something was initially set up in that first scene about this Sharknado being a

Yes, about sharks, but also about like the greed of these people and the money also got lifted up into there. Like there was something very sinister about the tornado. Do you think people know what I'm saying? Something sinister about the tornado? Yes, because it wasn't just picking up marine life. Don't you think the money should have fallen down on top of Ian Ziering at the end? That would have been great. Can I ask you a question? Do you think that the tornado just wanted the money? Buy a new bar.

Do you think the tornado wanted to accumulate money and sharks to become powerful? Oh, that's because tornado is the villain. Yeah. The tornado needs that money. The tornado wanted to be like the kingpin. Wait a second. The ship captain worked for the tornado. Oh, he was a tornado. That's why his whole voice was dubbed. He had a human coat on. I love this. And that's why when his skin all comes off, that's just him becoming the tornado. And that's all he did?

It was the tornado. Now it's making sense. Now this movie makes sense. Oh, by the way, I found what she says when she's stabbing the shark that's clomped onto the helicopter rail. She goes, die already. Why don't you die already? Good. I did like when he rescued his daughter when they're driving in the car. She pulls out her small portable television, which is something that I...

I had when I was a child when they were like Walkmans. Like, she should have an iPad or Galaxy Tab or something of the day. Not an old TV with an antenna. Don't you think that Thunder originally wrote the script for two older people? Like, it felt very much so that she was almost the same age as her daughter, Claudia. Well, we looked it up. Tara Reid's actually 37.

And her son was established as 22. So Ian Ziering and she had sex at 15, I guess, which I guess is why they had so many problems. Right. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Babies having babies. Because I came into this movie in the middle. And so I had no context for any. I came in at the flight school closet. Oh, well, that's very late. I know. That's what I'm saying.

So I came in at that point, so I didn't know anybody's relationships. So the moment when the son called Tara Reed mom, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is happening here? Is this for real? Yeah.

That blew my mind. And I felt like I just... She just was a disaster. Yeah. Well, I kept wondering. I kept looking at her saying, she's worthless. Why is she getting paid? How can they justify paying her a salary? And then...

At the very end, which the end is great, the very last scene where Ian's hearing. This is great. He jumps into the shark's mouth with a chainsaw. A shark is flying through the air at his daughter. He has enough time to push his daughter aside, turn on his chainsaw, jump directly into its mouth. Yes. And then gets completely swallowed by the shark. Completely.

Which everyone thinks he's dead. By the way... In midair. This all happens in midair. Anything you want to say about this movie, that sequence... Yeah. Amazing. Perfect. Unbelievable. And what I think they should have actually done to make it just a little bit better is his daughter should have been deaf because no one in this movie can hear. He's like only five feet away. He's like, get out of here! Get out of here! He's always the one, because he's doing hero stuff in the movie, of going, move! Which...

If you watch movies looking for that, the hero in a movie is always telling people to move because they want to establish that he's more aware than anyone else. That's hilarious. That he thinks of other people more than himself. I think John McClane yells move a lot, too. Yeah, yeah, because he's always thinking of others. But anyway, so Ian Ziering jumps inside this shark's mouth, then bursts out of the side of it with this chainsaw.

That's already enough. He's covered in gore. Wait, oh, that's the scene that I wrote, is this happening in real time? Because the length of time that the chainsaw is, you hear it in the shark first. Yeah. It should just be, boom, he's out. And then it sticks through. It's not a thick membrane. And then it takes so long for him to actually cut through the shark skin. Oh, boy, this is rough. They reverse on the family like six times. Yeah.

Six times back and forth. But why didn't they... To me, this is a perfect moment that they did in Anaconda. I want to be inside that shark's stomach. I want to see it. But they can't. They can't because that would ruin the surprise, which is he reaches back into the shark's stomach.

pulls out Nova, who was eaten by the exact same shark. Yes, and why was that shark all of a sudden... Because that shark has been airborne for a long time. You would think that at least the human body would bring it down a little bit, like an extra...

But, okay, so he's, Ian Ziering is covered in gore. He's just saved the heroine of the movie. Tara Reid goes up to him and Ian, first of all, it's Ian Ziering. That's bad. He's covered in gross, gross blood. Like he's covered in next level gore. Like crazy, like gloopy, gloppy blood gore. She goes up to him and with the, a

a look of distaste I have never seen before in my life. She gives him the tiniest, quickest peck on the mouth. And I said, there is why she is getting her paycheck. Well, her character does one of the worst lines in the whole movie, and I didn't write it down exactly, but I'll give you the gist of it, which is they're driving by a school bus full of children, and of course Finn... Driven by Cousin Oliver.

Yes. Oh, really? That's Cullen? Yes, that's Cullen. I just wrote down that he looks like a pedophile version of Penn Jillette. Oh, so you mean he looks like Penn Jillette? He's driving by a bus full of children. He's like, we got to help those children. She's like, no. Yeah. You help us. This is your problem. Yeah. You help people. Like, this is a busload of children, people. Yeah. Come on. But I love the solution. I'm going to rappel down. Yeah. Great. The crazy thing about...

being eaten by a shark and that sequence is like they don't chew at all. So if you're eaten, you just go... Like fully digested. You just go right into the stomach. You just go right into the stomach. But sometimes you get the lazy shark is like, chompa, chompa, chompa. It depends on if they... It depends. Sharks... Okay, here's the deal. Sharks chew you up. You are

This is what I know about sharks. I'm not a marine biologist. But I mean, compared to how much June knows about tornadoes. I probably know as much about sharks. Okay, got it. So sharks, as I understand it, when somebody they're going to eat should die, is bad or needs to die, they chomp a lot with their teeth. But when they think, I just want this person in my tum-tum.

And maybe I want to hang out with them later. They just go for the full throat swallow. Right, right, right. So you think that there's some sort of a thing where they're like, I'm going to digest this guy. Slowly. Like a different pocket. Like that pocket you put change in on your jeans. Or like when a squirrel puts nuts in its cheek. Right, right, right. For later. I found when anyone is contemptuous of the situation...

Then a shark will eat them. Yeah, they will eat them. Because here's what's so weird, though. Ian Ziering could have, when that shark was like flying down at him out of the air, he could have literally just like walked five feet away and been so safe. The shark would have hit the ground and died or it would have chomped around a little bit. Or it would have flapped around for a while. He's like, it might have chomped around a little bit.

I loved when they're in the, when, when, I love when they're in, when fucking Dum Dum and Nova are in the helicopter and they're all in the old age home. And one of the old ladies goes, who is that up there? And Ian Therrien goes, that's my son. And she goes, you must be very proud. And he goes, yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah.

I was like, what is this? Like, why would you advocate like, yeah, my only son, fly a helicopter into a Sharknado. Throwing bombs down at us. Yeah. With a terrible idea. I want to point out. How about when the shark lands in the pool? Yeah. Oh. And the pool explodes? By the way. By the way, everyone's out of the pool. But in the first.

two people jump in the pool. Did you notice that? Yes. A shark lands in the pool and they get in. They go into it. What? They were freaking out. But everyone's out and he decides, what does he decide to do? Everyone's safe. Let's light them on fire and destroy their pool. Let's pour gasoline into the pool. Like one tank. Haven't they lived through enough? That's a huge cleaning bill for the old folks. He throws matches in and the pool By the way, sharks couldn't

live in chlorinated water, by the way. A. B. That shark right there, that shark is now not a problem. It's in a pool. Well, no, no, no. I disagree because remember when they're in the house, they go, there's a shark in the pool. They open the window and that shark...

flew out of the pool into the window. Oh, I thought that was a different shark. I thought so too. I thought that was a shark that was a part of... I thought that was a shark just... When they have that fight in the house, their house literally crumbles. Like, crumbles like it was made out of paper mache. It was like...

Even with a flood, bad flooding will not crumble a house. They were bad house flippers. So, Rita, understand that if you are eaten by a shark in that way, where you're just sort of swallowed whole and you land in the tummy, once you're in there, you just die of starvation. The digestive acids also. Well, it's like Pinocchio when he was in the belly of that whale. You can do fun stuff in there. Yeah.

There's good times to be had in there. Clearly there's enough room in that stomach for Ian Ziering, Nova, and that chainsaw, and the fact to get it on. He was able to start a chainsaw in a shark's tum-tum with a woman there. Why start it before he was swallowed? That's what I was wondering. Because when you're implying that he's going to cut

the shit out of the shark but instead he jumps in you don't it almost seemed like he knew she was in there I thought he was gonna do a space jam how did he not stab her with the chainsaw going in cause it was running it was running yes it was running she should be she should be totally decapitated he should be like good news I'm okay bad news she was okay Nova wasn't there until I got in there

It would be amazing if his character was a magician and he chopped her in half and then pulled her out of the body totally put together. That'd be pretty awesome. But I thought he was going to do like a space jam like a Michael Jordan to jump up and go through the shark. Yes. Cut the shark in half. And out the shark's butthole. Yes, that's what I wanted him to do. He did do that. Do sharks have buttholes? He did do that. Junior scientist. From what I know, yes. He did that thing when the shark was flying out of the sky at the airfield where he just was like,

That was the best thing I've ever heard in my life. By the way, sharks are... There's no...

There's no, I'm trying to say physics. There's no weight to them? Yeah, they're like, you can cut them in half. You can stab them with a pool cue. They can fly through windows. They kind of hit you. They knock you over. There's like just, the weight of the sharks are all over the place. Oh, yeah. Here's a thought. So this wasn't realistic? I don't think so. I mean, again, I'm not a scientist. I don't know. In most, I would call this like a thriller movie, I guess, or horror movie. But in most movies like this, sometimes like the people who get killed are bad in

in some way, misbehaving in some way, like Piranha, a movie that I was in. Some people who get killed, they're asking for it. Well, that's why I say the people who are contemptuous of the situation because you notice anyone who goes, shut up, this isn't happening, immediately will get eaten by a shark. Yeah.

But yeah, you're right. But I guess I just wanted to see some more bad behavior before we saw some people get killed because that surfer didn't deserve to die. Oh, but that boyfriend did. He was a real piece of shit. He was totally asking for it. Because he said, she's mine or whatever that was. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh, and John Heard loses his life saving a dog. Yeah. That was his save the cat moment, but it was a save the dog moment. Do you think that April and Finn ended up together at the end?

After that passionate kiss. When she pulls away from that kiss, when she pulls away from that kiss, she's got blood on her face. And she looks like, you fucking dick. And you know immediately they yelled cut and it's like, alright, get in, get in there, wipe it off Tara, wipe it off Tara. She looked so, she could not not

that she was so angry and was disgusted by what had just happened. And what was it, the blood or Ian's earring? Do you think Tara Reid is upset that she's not, like her downfall was not as harsh as Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes? I feel like she got out kind of early. Now she's a sort of like, she's like a regular person. There was no social media when she melted down. There wasn't the same, like it wasn't the same kind of like, part of the way that Lindsay and especially Amanda Bynes

are melting down is like so present because of Twitter and all this other nonsense. And that just didn't exist. All you had was Tara Reid like drunk and her boob popping up. Is that why you're not on Twitter? Yeah. That's why I'm not on Twitter. So you can't document my downfall. Tara Reid is up for the sequel. The sequel. People are talking about the sequel today. And she said, I am down for a Sharknado sequel. If the sequel came out tomorrow, people would see it. Okay. I don't know about the day after tomorrow. This is what I'm going to say.

People of sci-fi. Put us in the sequel. Yes! We will all... Let us promote! Let's write it! We will work on it in whatever capacity. We will take eight hours and write it. We will do the whole thing. We should do it like we all write five pages. Like Exquisite Corpse? Yes. This is what we did with Rambo vs. Rocky. I don't know if you ever read that. Yes, I did. So, Damien Lindelof posited this last night. Look up Rambo vs. Rocky, by the way.

We should get everybody together and write this movie. Yes. And they would make it, and it would be amazing. We should make movies like this. I was watching this, and I was like, fuck it. This movie would be so much better if it was all of us in it. You guys should do How Do You Get Made Films, have a straight direct-to-DVD thing where you guys make movies just like this. By the way, this is the best idea we've ever had. I kind of love it. I really, really love it.

What would the sequel, what would be the sequel? Yeah, some other climate event? Well, I mean, somebody talked to me last night and they said, oh, wait, what was it? It was, oh, damn, I'm trying to think of different animals to come out. Well, I was saying on Twitter that a Boston Terrier NATO would just be the cutest thing of all. Oh, that's a cute one. I thought of Moncano, which is a monkey volcano that shoots out monkeys that like to eat humans. And they like to rip their dicks off. Yeah. How about a dinosaur?

How about a dino-cano? Oh, I like that. A volcano breaks open for the first time and dinosaurs start popping, like are being shot out of it. Dinosaurs that have been living underground all of their time. Dinosaurs are not extinct. Immortal dinosaurs. They are not extinct. What are they living off of? What? What are they living off of? I don't know. Such a good question. Gold? What about a bat-foon?

A Bat Typhoon. Oh, I like that. Yeah. I will say that one thing that June said to me last night while watching this movie, and you turned to me so sincerely, and you just said...

This movie is really dark. Did you mean it had a dark world view? You know what it was? There were so many people being killed off in the first five minutes of the movie that it just was a real... Like you were upset by it. Well, because there was no love between any of the characters in the movie. Right. There was no sort of like, oh, we want them to be back together. It posited a world that I don't want to live in. Did everybody... Sharknado or no. No.

Did everybody feel like everybody in the family hated the daughter?

Oh, yeah. She had no point. She was. And they didn't even wrap up her story. No, they didn't do anything. Everybody gets a love interest but her. And that's her bitch. That's her whole thing. She gets to bitch about her dad in the grocery store. That's her whole thing. She's like, you came to save Matt or whatever his name is. Like, she's just like a fucking dummy. She also had a weird subplot. But he was playing into that, though. I feel like he kind of created that monster. Because then he said to her, he's like, I came to get you first. Yeah. Which is.

pretty fucked up thing for a dad to say. Your daddy's a little girl. Plus, there's a weird subplot where she's like, no, no, no, take this other freeway. This is the shortcut I use when I go with my friends to Hollywood. And he says, what are you doing in Hollywood? Hollywood, I guess, is just... Well, that was sort of, yeah, they were definitely playing into that idea of like, wow, now that there's a disaster, we're really learning a lot of things about each other. Yeah. I came to get you first, baby.

So creepy. Pet this for daddy. So you guys recommend this movie, clearly. Oh, clearly. If your mom gets eaten by a shark, it's just you and me. Well, thank you for listening to this very special, important edition of How Did This Get Made? We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. How did this get made?

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