Guilt Trips & Gross Guys
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Welcome back to not the mess Welcome back to the episode of hot mess with Alex Earl. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast Ashton tell them please subscribe if you're cool and hot Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. I'm mad at you. Why are you mad at me?

Because you lied to me. I'm really mad. What do you mean I lied to you? Well, do you know that I track you? Well, no, that's weird.

no, it's not because I just like want to make sure you're safe at school. And all of a sudden we were talking for three hours and you say nothing to me. And all of a sudden I see Ashton's tracker. It's like in the fields of the middle of the country and then it's nowhere. And I was like, oh my God. And I'm such a freak. I have a group chat with like Ashton's like 20s

20 friends at school yeah and I was like where's Ashton where's Ashton I was texting my dad and I literally thought you were kidnapped and like being flown overseas and you were going to see a man and you didn't tell me I love that you your first like thought is that I'm being kidnapped instead of like I'm just doing something like we talk about this all the time that I would be the one to just like go on a trip without telling anyone and like you fly away

But the night before this flight, we were talking for three hours. It just didn't come up. I literally was like, how are things going with you guys? She goes, good, says nothing. So do you want to tell us what you've been up to? Well, yeah, I actually just like manically booked my flight for that weekend on like Wednesday. And so I left Friday morning. I flew to Detroit and

And for a little show. And then the next morning we flew to Vegas and went to like the day club and stuff, which was really fun. But that's like so...

Like crazy to me because like at the day club so many people were like, oh my god ashton like hi We love you blah blah blah and like the whole time people were coming up to me and it was so great but like I haven't had that kind of interaction with people in so long because being at school is just like So normal for me like no one comes up to me or says anything like I just go out with my friends I go to class I go to

Pilates and yoga like it's just so normal here and then I go to Vegas and it's like all these people the whole time were coming up to me and I was like wait I like forgot this happens sometimes I'm happy that you're having a great time but like I don't appreciate you going places and not telling me okay I know now you have to tell the podcast you can't just be like missing out on this information tell the podcast what what you're doing oh well I just said I flew to Detroit and

and then flew to vegas well actually vegas was really fun we went to this show saturday night called absinthe which is like in this big like circus tent and it's like a comedy circus show no i actually did go to the sphere on sunday though but you went to the sphere yeah we went to that i really want to go you really want to go i really want to go we should go for afterlife

okay but i like i i do feel like i might have a panic attack in the sphere you would because oh you i'm not kidding we went to that postcards from earth show which is only like a 40 minute like movie thing and first of all the line to get in was a million years long like i've actually never been in a line that long in my life and the sun was like beaming down it was like 12 p.m on sunday so we finally get in and it's like this whole like weird layout it's

It's kind of like a big movie theater, but very futuristic looking. It was very scary and weird. And so many people were there. And then you go in to the actual... Where the stage is and everything. Yeah.

And it's like all these stadium seats, but they are so thin. And Alex, you would freak out. There were zero railings and the seats are like this steep straight down. And you can just see all the way down. Like if you tripped and fell, you could just fall over all the way to the ground. No railings? No. No railings.

Like, I don't know how it's safe. I don't know how people that go to Dead & Co. say they're, like, doing acid and watching the show there. Because, like, you can literally just fall all the way down. It's, like, really scary. You would not enjoy it. But the postcards... So were you sitting at, like, the top or at the bottom? We were in, like, the 300 section. So we were, like, pretty high up. But there's... Well, like, as if I'm gonna know where that is. I don't know. It's, like...

300 I don't know but like it was pretty high up and it's it's so like

It's such a weird layout. It's literally just like, I think I would have a panic attack, but I think you would too. It's like a really steep wall of like stadium seats and they go all the way around. There's so many people they fit into that place. It's actually absurd. But you like, I sat in my seat and I was like, I can't move because if I move, I'm going to like fall forward and die right now. Like no one talks about this, like the seats at the sphere.

It was crazy. Yeah. I'm not sure I want to go anymore. Maybe. Apparently they have like little like box rooms. That's like one of my biggest fears. I know. I always have dreams that I'm on a ledge that has no railing or like going upstairs with no railing that's really steep. And like for some reason, like, you know, the feeling when like feels like your feet are sinking out under you. No.

like i get that if i go to look over a ledge but also there's i don't have a fear of heights but like that like falling over a ledge there's also like the floor section though so maybe if you go just make sure you have like the floor or one of like there might be like box suites or something i'm not really sure but that's like going first row at a movie like you're gonna break your neck i don't want to like look up the whole time not if you go to like a concert there though because the stage is on the floor but don't you want to see the screen isn't that the whole thing

True, I guess like for afterlife. But it's like it's all the way like up and around like you're surrounded by the screen no matter where you are. So when you go to Vegas with John, is it just like does he just like own everything? Like you walk in everywhere and everyone's just kind of like bowing down and you have like stay in his big suite.

Yeah, the big suite's fun. But yeah, it's kind of not like everyone's bowing down, but like everything's just like set up really nice for him. So like it's all like taken care of. And, you know, we're friends with like, like we know everyone on his team. So they're always like helping me out with stuff. And this is literally just like so Ashton coded because we have said since Ashton was a baby because Ashton just like she just needs to be pampered. Like she's just a princess. I am not pampered.

like i was like she's somehow just gonna marry some type of like king or royalty that's just like the next thing we know she's gonna be dating like the prince of wherever they have princes like i don't know like she's gonna get like floated around on a carriage for the rest of her life like i just could see that like even that cup you're drinking out of right now like that's so princess coded like i would never think to have a cup like that thank you show your cup i'm

Everyone look at my cup. This is actually my roommate Rowie's cup. I steal it from her because it's really aesthetic and it matches my teapot. You have a teapot? Oh my god. It's so cute. Why don't you just make the water in the microwave?

No, because having a teapot is so much more fun. It's like, you know, like the kettle on the stove and it's all cute and it has like these little flowers on it. I love it so much. It just makes like the little things in life a little more enjoyable when they're cute. Okay. Well, I'll get you one teapot then. But I went to Pilates this morning with John. I heard. Me and Kristen went with him. How was it?

He's a Pilates queen. I can't believe he's such a Pilates princess now. I'm so proud of him. He was, he was like having the shakes and it's just funny. Like it was also just funny. Cause I feel like he was like kind of like too big for the machine. Like it just like seeing him like,

try to like coordinate like where like to place his feet and everything like well sometimes I even feel like I'm too tall for the machines when they do certain moves and you have to like fully extend your legs I'm like I can't even go all the way down because yeah my limbs are too long I mean I will definitely not be walking for the next week like I was I was shaking like Jake Shane oh my god no one shakes like Jake Shane it's like when I first did Pilates with him I was like holy shit I was so scared be like

I was like, he's going to combust or something. I don't know how he does that. But he still pushes through it. Like if I shake that bad, I'll like eventually have to like stop. He keeps going. No, when I start to get the shakes, I'm like class is over. That's how you know it's like it's end time for me. Well, updates on me. Yeah. Tell me about you. Yeah. Since you're not asking. Well, you're leaving for Paris soon, right?

yeah i'm going to paris on saturday so fashion week i wish i was coming i know i actually ashton was supposed to come to paris fashion week with me and then i said no to her no i was like i've been a little anxious and overwhelmed by everything oh wait we're totally breezing over the fact that you literally had the biggest mental breakdown this week oh no it wasn't that big it happens all the time ashton what

You were like bawling your eyes out and like so anxious. Yeah, but I'm fine now. Are you sure? Yeah, dad keeps calling me and asking me if I'm okay too, but I swear I'm fine.

No, mom texts me. This is always like concerning when like the family texts me about Ashton. They're like, wait, oh my God. You know what's really funny that I just remembered? What? When one time we were on dad's boat and Ashton was like having like a depressed day. Yeah. Like she does. And Ashton like went outside on the boat.

- No, we were at dinner. We were at dinner and I was like, oh, like we should go like, I wanna like look at the stars from the front of the boat tonight. Like, I just wanna sleep up there. Like it's so comfy and like cozy on the front of the boat, like under the stars. I feel like sleeping under the stars would be so fun.

but my family all went and like kept checking on ashton because they thought that she was like jumping no like i was like we got back from dinner i was sitting in my room and my little sister comes in and she's like hey dad told me to come check on you to make sure you're not going to the front of the boat and i was like why she was like he thinks you might be depressed i was

Guys, I'm fine. I know I should stop joking about being depressed so much, but I'm really, I'm okay. I'm also on the hunt right now. I've been looking for a therapist for you. Oh, mom has been sending me so many therapists. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Mom texts me, but I literally was like asking everyone I know. I was like, who's like the top notch therapist that we can get? And I also need a new therapist too.

I need a new therapist too. So maybe we can start working. I just feel like it's good if we work with the same one and then maybe she could like low key give us advice for each other. I feel like that's not how it's supposed to go, but I don't know. Oh, you think whatever, but yeah, I'm going to Paris. Jealous. What shows are you seeing?

Well, the thing about fashion weeks is everything's really last minute. So I know right now that I'm going to Miu Miu and Isabel Marant, which I'm really, really excited for. And then I'm on like standby for a few more shows. And like, especially a lot of the bigger shows, I think they like wait to see or confirm like the big, big A-list celebs. And then like if people cancel, then I get to go. Then you're in. Yeah.

No, but I think like truly just everything is planned so last minute. Like every invite to everything in this industry is literally carpets. Everything is like the day before. And I'm like, and everyone's like, yeah, pull together a gown, a full glam team, flights, hotel. I'm like, it's actually so intense. I still don't have my hotel for Paris. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that after this call. Yeah, you should. Which is terrible. Yeah, that's really bad. I do want to share because I think I was doing the right thing by saying that you can't go to Paris. Well, I didn't say you can't go, but I said you shouldn't go. I think you're right, especially with all the anxiety I've been having in the past week.

I'm just, I think I just need to stay here and enjoy this time I have with my friends. And like this weekend is my sorority's like biggest date party of the semester. It's called Red Hot, which we all wear like red dresses. And I didn't get to go last year because I was abroad, but pretty much. Can you post more? Yeah. I love seeing what you're doing at school. It literally like, I'm obsessed. I might be going to trivia night at a dive bar tonight.

night at school is the best i'm really excited about trivia nights oh my god i'm gonna freak out and cry right now we used to have the bar on campus would have like tuesday's trivia i'm literally having heart palpitations i need i need to slow down i've had too much coffee but holy hell i love trivia nights at school they're so underrated yeah i'm so excited oh you get a pitcher of beer i'm really excited come come you have to come visit

When I come for parents weekend, can I do trivia night with you? Of course. Oh my God. I think so excited for you to wait. We literally have 88 D. I know because I never got to explain why you can't come to Paris. Oh wait, you're explaining. That's what I'm. It's okay.

calm down um wait i realized wait one more thing i realized in the first episode um of hot mess with ashton earl too i cut her off every other word and i'm i'm doing better to shut up this week because i'm just so used to like podcasting alone and like you don't want any dead space or dead silence so like the second there was ashton's a little bit more of a slow waiting for her to answer i literally just cut her off the entire episode so i'm gonna i'm

shut up no it's okay you're doing great keep going but anyway yeah i have red hot which is our big date party which i'm pretty sure they call it red hot i don't know if this is a rumor but apparently the inventor of tabasco's daughter like tabasco the hot sauce his daughter was a tulane kappa so that's why we have red hot date party what else would tabasco be i don't know just making sure some people don't know what tabasco is but

I don't know if that's true, but that's, you know, when you like are rushing girls and they're like perfect for your sorority. I don't, did you rush girls ever? Yeah, you did. You did. I did one round of rushing girls, but it's just so mean. I don't like it. I hate that. Like you're in a sorority. It's terrifying. Honestly, I barely mean girl of you. Oh, shut up. I barely participate besides the parties. Um,

but we have this term and it's like so cringy it's called like if she's like a perfect like kappa in our eyes it's like red hot mama you call her a red oh my god sororities are so cringy i know

But anyway, that's that. But yeah, I decided it would be best for my anxiety and everything to just stay here this weekend and enjoy these little weekends. We also have like a big game on Saturday, which is going to be fun, even though I would love to go to Paris Fashion Week.

Maybe hopefully I can go next year and be with you. Well, that's the thing is like everyone and the people we work with and everyone, Ashlyn was invited to go to stuff for Paris Fashion Week with me. And we were obviously like, that's so much fun. But I was like, you are gonna like Paris Fashion Week. Maybe it'll be there. Maybe it won't. But like these...

memories in like your last year of college like you should not it's like do not leave a fun college weekend and a big game weekend like just stay stay in school kids and I was just like it's gonna like break my heart if you don't stay in school and do your like stupid school things until it's done like you're just you're gonna regret it I know so I exiled her from Paris Fashion Week no I think it's good that I'm staying I'm excited to be here this weekend

When I told all my friends I was staying too they were like oh my fucking god. Yay, like you're saying and I was like, okay. Yay. I'm so excited so It's good We're good. Wait, so how was laura's birthday? It looked so much fun it was fun, but I I'm, not sure if maybe i'm going through something or i'm just getting older But I like going out is actually taking 10 years off my life And I always thought old people were being dramatic when they said that but like

I go out and I wasn't even like, it's not like I like blacked out or was crazy. Like I actually was being responsible. - I saw some pictures of you. You looked a little fucked up. - I was definitely drunk, but I was like being responsible. And because I was like, I don't wanna feel hung over tomorrow. And I literally was hung over for two days, two days. I went out Saturday and I mean, granted we were out until 6:00 AM, but Monday morning I still had a headache. And I was like, this is miserable.

Like I'm not enjoying this anymore. Like usually regular Alex would be up for Sunday morning, like going on like a walk, like getting her work done. And a Sunday I literally was like melted to the bed. Wait, I watched perfect couple on Netflix. It's a limited series. It's just like a one season type of show. Six episodes, murder mystery. Really, really good. Anyone who's looking for a good murder mystery show to kill some time. Perfect. That was really good.

Yeah, I also like that it was one season, like one and done, and like I got my whole story. Okay, back to space though. So space is this club in Miami that it's basically, I feel like it gets going at like 2 a.m. and then people stay until like,

11 a.m like it's the it's the craziest concept ever but it's basically like a 24-hour club and at sunrise the roof opens and you get the sun in there they serve mimosas it's just like it's house music it's really really fun and they were closed for a few months for construction so it opened backed up so i went with my friends this weekend and we got a grilled cheese there which i did not know that they had grilled cheese i didn't know that either they were

I haven't had like a proper space night like into the sunrise. I haven't done that yet, which I need to do. Forget about the club. Forget about the club. I will be going there for my dinner because this grilled cheese, I ordered six of them. Six grilled cheeses. Six grilled cheeses and I'm not kidding. I have a photo. I'll put it up right now. When my face, when I took a bite of this grilled cheese, like I actually was seeing another dimension. I was like, what? It was...

It was the best grilled cheese I've ever had in my entire life. And I don't know, like we need to go back and get it because it was just like, it was crazy. Like I think even if we're like hungover on a Sunday, like we need to go to space. You just go to space for breakfast. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. No, I would. And that's what I have to say. I haven't had a grilled cheese in so long. I also puked on the floor. Oh, Alex. Well, it's not my fault. I thought you said you weren't that blacked out.

No, I wasn't. It was just the thing was, which I'm not sure why we did this. We started going out at 8 p.m. and we were out until 6 a.m. So that's 10 hours. You can do it. Is that 10 hours? You're fit. Mm hmm.

yeah 10 hours so it was just a long night like i was fine actually i swear to god but um i laura wanted to take a shot and i didn't want to take a shot because i just was like i know it's not gonna like settle well in me right now i'm really like trying to say no to shots um yeah shots ruin everything they make you feel like shit they do it's just like i don't need it so i was like no but then she pulled the birthday card she was like it's my birthday come

come on and she cheers me and i was like fuck it's her birthday so i took the shot and then i immediately it was just one of those things like i wasn't sick but it just immediately was coming back up and thankfully i had like a cup and it was just like liquid water from the shot and anywho we're moving on let's get into our hot topic of the week okay

Hot topic of the week. Okay, so we're going to get a little bit more serious and I also kind of want to give a trigger warning before this. We're going to be talking about gray areas when it comes to hooking up with guys. And I just want to give a trigger warning for anyone who has dealt with like sexual assault. And I don't know any topic like this could trigger you. We're not going to be talking about SAX.

actually, but we're just going to talk about that kind of gray area where this actually came up in conversation when I was talking with my friends about college and we were reminiscing and just talking about guys and the way they acted in college. And I was like, why do I feel like it was so normalized for guys to just be so normal?

and creepy and perverted. And like sometimes you just kind of like let things fly because you're like, oh, I don't know. You just don't know where you're in college and you're in these like kind of toxic environments, like these party environments where guys are doing things. And I feel like it's not that you don't consent to anything, but there's a gray area and there's a lot to talk about here.

This gray area, it's like where you're saying yes to things, but then you're like, wait, did I even want to do that? This stuff just happens all the time and it's like so normal and no one really talks about this like gray area of like,

hookups like but it literally happens all the time I feel like a majority of hookups especially in college and high school are like somewhere in this gray area where it's just like a girl giving in to a guy because like they don't want to like or they don't know how to get out of it or they don't want to make them upset or they're girls doing it like for validation or something first off I want to share a story that I don't really want to share because

But I think it's important for the young girls that listen to this podcast or that follow us to

Just wish like when I was younger I had heard this from someone who was older because I think it's the thing that a lot of people don't want to talk about and I don't necessarily want to talk about this online But I think that it could hopefully be helpful to anyone or maybe people can relate to this who've had a similar experience, but I Was in high school and I was at a party. There was like this older guy there. He was in he was in college and

We left the party. We were like me and him went back to his house. And obviously, like I thought he was cute, whatever. But all I remember is we were making out and whatnot. But he was like, oh, I want to take photos of you. And I didn't have any clothes on at the time. And I don't know, I guess at that age, like I hadn't really like gotten with a lot of people or just like didn't you don't really know, especially because this guy's

this guy's older and i'm like i think they're cool i want you want to like yeah i want him to like me yeah i wanted to impress him and he was like oh can i like i want to take photos of you like i think it'd be so cool i think we were like by the pool

and I was like I don't like really want to do that like I don't know like I knew I didn't want to do it but he was kind of like no like come on like I won't do anything with these and I just was kind of like okay and I remember like posing for a few photos and then was like okay like like whatever let's stop and like I let him do it but it's not obviously I don't want anyone women I'm not saying that it was my fault or anything like I just think guys get pushy and

- Girls don't know what to do. - You don't know how to stand up for yourself. And like in that moment, I wish that I just had like any bit of confidence to be like, no.

That's not normal. But in my head I was like, oh, is this normal? Like, I don't know, like he's older. Like maybe like this is what guys do or like maybe this makes me cool or like, oh, he must like really, really like me if he wants to like take these pictures of me. I kind of just like went home after that. I was like kind of just feeling uncomfortable. He basically went around the school saying that like we had had sex and that just like wasn't true at all.

And I remember like no one believed me. And like, of course, then those guys like, oh, she's such a slut and whatever. And I just remember feeling so like frustrated that no one would believe me. But it's also like, why would anyone believe me as if like he's saying that we did that? And I don't know. That was just a moment that I remember like really clocking as like,

I don't ever want to like let that happen again because like I just felt so used. And in the moment I was like, oh, he really likes me. Like he wants to take these photos of me. Like, and I just like, you don't understand and you don't think that anyone could like treat you wrong. And I just felt so used.

and that's also just like not okay. And I think a lot of girls write in and they're like, oh, like I was getting with a guy and he wants to like videotape me or something. And like, that's not normal, nor like, you know what I mean? You don't have to do that if you don't want to do it. Like, I feel like that's such a universal experience, not like necessarily with like taking pictures or videos, but just being in that situation where you just like go,

go along with things that you never would have like wanted to do initially just because you want to like either like you think this guy's cool and you want to get with him or you don't want to disappoint him or like you don't want to make him mad or like you don't know like how to get out of the situation so you kind of just like go along with it and it's just it's so hard because I feel like honestly every girl probably has gone through this situation or something like this at one point or another and

And I feel like as you grow older, like this happens less because you kind of just learn how to like stand up to guys and be like, well, no, I don't want to do that. But especially I feel like it was like high school and college. It's like really, really this stuff is happening a lot and no one talks about it and everyone acts like it's normal. But I don't it's really not OK. And guys really are disgusting and they need to like chill. Yeah.

Yeah, and I think I felt so guilty or just stupid that I said yes. But it's like... It's not your fault, though. I shouldn't feel...

bad because like I just didn't know how to stand up for myself like someone should be making like these guys feel bad for being such freaks and always putting girls in uncomfortable situations like no one ever gets mad at the guys like girls are always the one who end up feeling bad and doing things they don't want to do and then feeling guilty about doing it or feeling feeling guilty about not doing it but like what about like someone like

saying something to the fucking guys who are doing all this. I think there's so many different reasons why maybe girls let things slide. And I think one is you want approval from guys. Like, obviously, you're getting with a guy like you.

You want a sense of like, oh, you want them to like you. And it shouldn't be all about that. But like, it is at times. Like everyone wants to feel wanted or sexy or hot. And like, you're kind of like,

I don't know. Like, you shouldn't be searching for that when you're getting with someone. But, like, you kind of... Like, you want it. Yeah. No, it's totally normal to be, like... You want approval. You, like... Yeah, like, the validation of, like, a guy that you want, like, wanting you back. But then, you know, if they try to do something...

beyond that that makes you uncomfortable just going along with it because you wanted that validation of them like and you was like not okay like it's still okay to say no even though you might feel a little confused by the fact that you like did want them or that validation if that makes sense and before we get into more of this i just want to say for any girl listening that

Saying no does not make you less sexy, less cool, doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't make you weird. Like it doesn't matter what stage you are at hooking up with a guy. If all of a sudden in your mind you think like, I don't want to do this, it literally could be like you are fully...

ready to go you know what I mean like you had already like felt like you committed to the bit and if you want to turn around and say no like that is nothing you should be embarrassed about you'll never regret saying no but you will regret doing something if you have any of that like inclination in your head especially if you're drinking and the lines get blurry like if you have any sense of doubt like

Just say no, because you're never going to regret saying no. Yeah. Everyone's always worried about disappointing the guy. But then what you're doing this and disappointing yourself or putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation just because you don't want to disappoint the guy. Like, hello? No, we need to like switch how we think about this stuff. Why do girls feel like this? Because I've felt like that before. I'm like, damn, like they took me on a date and now like I'm such a loser because I don't want to get with this guy. Like, I feel bad. Like,

Do you think they feel bad when they're not making you finish every time? No, they don't care about that at all. It doesn't cross their mind. It actually never crosses their mind. So it's like, why as women do we feel so bad? I'm like, you owe them nothing. You owe these little rats nothing. No, the stigma is insane because I still sometimes like have those thoughts and I'm like, Ashton, what is wrong with you? Like, it is not. Yeah, I don't know. It's like a weird...

weird thing that I feel like we like instinctually think that we need to grow out of or maybe some girls don't think that way and that is amazing but I'm talking to the ones that do and the topic of feeling like you owe someone something I don't know why this would always happen with like college formals or like college date parties right especially it's like the guy takes you maybe they're paying for your hotel room for the formal you're going on a trip for the weekend wherever you are and I remember like

going to some of these formals and being like, I actually don't like my date. Like I'm actually not having a good time. And then you're sitting there and I'm like, wait, but damn, like, like, why does it go through my head that I'm like, oh, but like, I feel bad. Like they took me. Like it literally doesn't matter. I was literally in this situation like two years ago.

um all my girlfriends were going with like all these guys to this one like frat formal and it was like an away weekend everyone was like renting houses in like Destin Florida and a lot of my girlfriends were going and then this guy who was like friends with some of the other guys was like or my friend asked me first they were like would you go with this guy like just to like come with us so we can have like a fun weekend and I was like like yeah sure why not like I don't think I'm gonna get with him but like

It could be fun, like, whatever. So then he asked me and whatever. And, like, the first few days together, like, we had fun. Like, we were just, like, going out and having fun. But then when it would come to, like, ending the night, I was, like, supposed to be sharing a room with him, which I was, like, already, like, really uncomfortable with. Like, my one other friend that was staying in the same house as me, like, I would, like, go in her room and get ready with her. And, like, I was kind of just, like, avoiding, like...

My date the whole time because I was scared like he was gonna try to get with me which I think I could have handled it better and like Straight up like said to him like I don't want to get with you, but I felt so bad and so guilty I ended up like yeah Sneaking out like the last night and sleeping in like bed with my other girlfriends And like I kind of like felt like an asshole for that because he was like, where did you go? And I was like, sorry, I fell asleep on the couch but

like I definitely could have handled it better and just straight up and like I'm like sorry like thank you for taking me but like I don't want to get with you but I was just like so scared and uncomfortable and like he was older than me so I just like avoided it and I definitely didn't handle it correctly but I felt so guilty for not getting with him like I felt like the worst person in the entire world and I was just like I don't feel like I should have to owe him that just because he brought me like I he

He knew like I was coming just to like be with my friends. Like I didn't I'd like never even like met him before this. So it's just like a weird situation. And I feel like that happens all the time with college, even just like going to a simple date party. I feel like there's that stigma of like sometimes you're just set up with friends to go with friends. And then all of a sudden it's like this guy's following you home and you're like, oh, like

I guess I have to get with them. Like I know people like a lot of my friends have been in those situations where they're like, like, oh, I have to get with my date tonight. And it's like, you don't have to like, it's okay to say no. And I just think a lot of that comes from like taking, like building up the confidence to be able to just like straight up tell the guy like, no, like, I'm always trying to like avoid it by making up like weird excuses or situations that happen. I'm like, oh, my friend blacked out. I got to take her home or like something. But I feel like

especially as you get older, just learning how to straight up be like, no, I don't want to get with you and that's okay. Because it's okay. Like the guy will survive if you don't get with them. And I feel like that's like what you're so scared of for some reason, you know? Yeah, I feel like people feel like it's so offensive or you don't want to like offend the person that you're like, I don't want to get with you. But it doesn't have to be about them. Like just, it's about yourself. Like I don't want to do this. And I think in college, like I do think it's a kind of,

toxic environment in the sense of stuff like that it's just like everyone you're everyone's like living on their own for the first time yeah and like the hookup culture and like with the date parties and it's okay like if you feel like you don't want to do something to

not do anything even if it seems like everyone else is or you're like oh maybe you're weird for not wanting to do that or I don't know no I've definitely it's okay to say no yeah I've had moments too in college especially just because

you know hookup culture is so big in college and like during these times just with like everyone like going out and drinking a lot and like kind of just like being on their own for the first time everyone's hooking up and there'd been times where I was like I feel like I just need to get with someone just to do it because I haven't been getting with anyone which is also just like another stigma that we don't have to get into which is just so annoying and stupid in my opinion

But yeah, like just I think moral of the story is you don't have to hook up with someone if you don't want to. And you shouldn't have to feel bad for this guy who really would stick his peen in anything. So like most of them probably would be sticking their peen in anything. So like don't be like, oh, I feel bad that I'm not doing this for them. Like they'll be OK. Yeah.

Yeah, I think like what initiated this thought when I was saying that I was talking about my friends about college was like with those date parties, say where you're like staying in a hotel room with this person or just like random. I mean, in college, like you could fall asleep on like a random person's couch. You could fall asleep on the floor of somewhere. You could fall asleep on the street. It's like you end up kind of wherever. And sometimes there's guys around and like I've been in a situation where I've

literally I went to formal with someone I'm sleeping and at like six in the morning I feel this person start like touching me oh yeah and I'm sitting there and there's

I literally was like, and I've done this more than once, which I'm not proud to say, but I've been like, I'm just gonna pretend to be sleeping right now. Because like, I don't wanna deal with like saying no, that I literally am like, just sleep, just sleep. And I'm literally like breaking out into a full body sweat. And I'm like, I'm just sleeping, I'm just sleeping. And not that anything more was going on other than just like touching, but like, I don't know why. Like, I just wish that I had the confidence to turn around and be like, I'm sorry, I'm sleeping. I don't wanna do this. Like-

And it's not. And then you don't even think in the moment. It's just weird because I was like, I didn't realize that that's not normal. No, I've been in that situation so many times where I've been like fake sleeping just to like avoid a guy like trying to get with me. And there's even been times which I'm really not proud of where I ended up just like making out with the guy just to like make it like stop because I was like, they're not going to stop until like they get something. So I would just do it. It was like not something I ever wanted to do.

And then you just wake up feeling so like icky and uncomfortable after. It's not ideal. I've unfortunately been in the situation as well where it's like you just are almost like you kiss them just to like get out of it or like do something. And it's like you owe these men nothing.

they shouldn't be doing anything if you don't want to do anything then like say so but i feel like especially in college guys just like have no fucking boundaries like i would walk into a party i kid you not this happened one time i walked into a party this guy that i know was friends with him but like there was never anything of the sorts of anything like that

we never flirted anything. I walk into this party and of course he's hammered off his ass. Like they probably were taking drugs. Like who knows? He just grabs me and kisses me and like tried to make out with me. And I was literally like, oh my God, like what? What are these little men walking around their stupid little dirty frat house thinking that they can just do anything to girls? Like we actually don't want you to fucking touch us. It's actually...

actually insane. Also, this happens to me all the time. I don't know why because I don't even have an ass, but every time I'm out, even if I'm like flirting with a guy, like I just think this is so funny. Like I could be flirting with a guy or just talking to him, having a conversation at the bar.

a guy like they'll like put their hand like on my butt cheek but not in like a cute way they'll like this is like super super niche for some reason to me this happens to me like every like not every time but like this happens to me a lot like more than like a handful of times guys will like put their hand like directly on my butt cheek no pun intended

and they'll like twiddle their fingers on my butt cheek and i'm like what the fuck are you doing like the last time this happened to me was this summer what yeah they are like they like flick their fingers on my butt cheek and i'm like i'm like this is disgusting can you imagine if you just walked up to a man and start flicking his balls like we would never do that literally ever do that and that happened to me once this summer and i literally look at the guy i smack his hand away i go what are you doing and he was like

What? And he was like so astonished that I smacked his hand off of my butt cheek. I was like, hello? I was literally standing at the bar and he just like started like literally like twiddling with my butt cheek. I was like, I hate this so much. I'm not loving this like twiddling thing. Wait, I don't like this like terminology I'm using either. It's making me uncomfortable. But like that's the thing. That's what they're doing. It's making me uncomfortable. But like do you feel...

like proud that you stood up for yourself in that moment oh yeah because like that i feel like i made him feel weird for doing that which he should feel weird for just doing that out of nowhere like i gave him no incentive or flirtation this time and i was just like hello like get off of me what are you doing and there was actually a guy that i knew that was with me he saw that and he just started like dying laughing he was like that was so funny and i was like yeah

take notes sticking up for yourself is hot it is and that made me realize I was like okay I can say no and it is kind of like fun like in a situation where a guy is being weird and making you uncomfortable make them feel uncomfortable for what they're doing like I think that is a good way to look at the situation

But unfortunately, there's some men who, like in that situation, like he felt weird and felt awkward, but then there's the other flip

which the guys get like super dickheads and then you even like because you already don't have confidence that you want to say no or don't want to do something but then there's a situation where they turn into an asshole after you try to say no and then you're like wait fuck like i am like or they'll say something to belittle you and you're like oh fuck like wait i'm worth nothing like he is right like i should be doing this or like whatever like wait i made this i made someone feel so mad and so uncomfortable like oh my god like whatever like and

And then you get so in your head. And those type of men, I have to say. Those are the worst type of men ever. But any man who's going to say something belittling to you or rude to you, I used to think,

I would look at them and like, I would get upset at myself and be like, oh God, like I'm not good enough for them. And now the second that a man says something that's a rude, belittling comment to me, I literally just laugh because I know that on the inside, that man is struggling with his self-confidence and his self-worth. And he thinks...

nothing of himself that he has to like try and tear down someone else and it's it almost makes me like happy like the second that a guy says something rude to me like that or based on your looks or anything like that i'm just like oh my god he fucking hates himself and i like he's so like internally like frustrated and insecure with himself that he like genuinely like

gets so mad when someone like denies him or something like that because like he just is so upset with himself but also i think a guy who gets mad at you instead of letting that like shake you i feel like that should be more validation that you should not be getting with this guy

like if you say no and he gets mad like that's good like you should be like okay this is like further proof that i made the right decision and not getting with him right now because guys will be so nice to you they'll be so nice to you and then the second that you're not giving them what you want you will see their true colors like if you say no and any man who is a good person a normal fucking human being would be like okay i respect that like no problem like what

whatever let's go pick some flowers and it's the little insecure devilish men that will shit on you and if anything it should give you more clarification that you shouldn't have been in this situation in the first place and i just wish like i knew that because of what i would i would let those comments get to me for so long i was like oh damn like like yeah i'm sorry but have you ever been in a

And been happy? Yeah, like, with the guy putting his hand on my butt cheek. Or also, actually, yeah, there was this one time in Italy, there was this really hot guy that I wanted to get with, but I had, like, never met him before. But I was just like, he's hot. It was more just, like, he's hot, like, so fun. Like, I want, like, to, like, flirt with him. So fun. Like, see if he'd, like, flirt back, you know, like, a little game. I want to flirt. I want to flirt with Italian. But...

Yeah, so then whatever We didn't like talk the whole night, but we were in like the same club He was at like the table next to me and he kept like looking at me and like making eyes at me and I was like Hey, and he would like wave me over and I came over to like say hi to him And then he like wouldn't talk to me and be like talking to other girls. So I was like, okay Like whatever i'm gonna go back with my friends at my table And then at the end of the night he like waved me over again and he was like i'm leaving come back to my hotel with me and I was like

no like what do you mean like we did not I don't even know your last name I haven't spoken to you once this entire night besides like I think my friends told him I thought he was hot and he was like what do you mean no and I was like

well, like, no, he's like, come back to my hotel with me. Like, I'm leaving to go back to whatever city he was from. He was like tomorrow. And I was like, well, no, like, I'm not going to go back to your hotel with you. Like, I don't know who you are. And he was like, well, what do you mean? Like, blah, blah, blah. And all this stuff. And then it was like a really like weird situation. And I kind of just like walked away and like my friends were talking to me about it. They're like,

you should just go like just do it like fuck it and I was like I don't really like feel comfortable doing this like I don't want to just like have sex in this like random hotel room with this guy that I don't know like it was like yeah he's hot but like I don't want to do that and then I was like my friends like we were all just like kind of talking about it and then they were like oh like maybe just go like talk to him again and then I went to go look for him and he left and I was like honestly I

Thank God he left because I didn't want to have to deal with that. And I was like, that's just like kind of proves like how much he cared about me. You know, he just wanted like some. Yeah. And that was something I was really happy. I said no for because I,

I was like so like drunk and I was like I don't know I'm like maybe I should just do it like all the you know like just like fuck it but I was like I didn't really like actually want to have sex with the guy because that's just like icky and like I don't know so I'm really glad I didn't do it and yeah that was a situation where I kind of like stood up for myself and I kind of like felt weird for saying no at first everyone's kind of like what like just do it but yeah

I didn't. Yeah. I'm proud of myself for that. Like you can never be, I know I said this before, but you can never be too far into something to like turn around and say no, because there was one time this one guy that I like, I feel like for like two years I had my eye on him and I was like, he's cute. Hey, I wanted to talk to him. And one night we went out and he,

I went back to my apartment with him and we were just like talking. We started making out and like

something he was like really terrible kisser like really really bad and i i was like oh no like what do i do right now because like i want him so far away from me that like i never see him again i just was like really i was like it was it was disgusting and i was like i can't do this and then i was like wait but i feel guilty because we were at the bar and he left all his friends and he came back with me and like i feel like i've been leading him on and like all this stuff and then i was like

It doesn't matter. And I actually was like, I have to go to bed. And he was like, what? And I was like, I have to go to bed right now. And in the moment it was so fucking awkward. Like, did I want to do that? No.

But looking back, I'm like, thank God I did that. Like, thank God I went with my gut. And it's never too late to, like, turn around and stop or say no or go back on something you said. Because, like, you're never going to regret saying no or sticking up for yourself. Yeah. That's exactly how I feel. Like, it was so uncomfortable in the moment to be like, no, like, I actually, like, don't want to, like, go home with you. Like, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, this is, like, so awkward. But...

I don't regret saying no at all. Like, I think if I went, I would have regretted it like intensely, like a lot. Like I really would have regretted it and I would have like felt like shit. So. And like you said, how he just like turned around and left because I think the other thing that girls do sometimes is sometimes girls are seeking validation. There's no man that like

sex is the answer for validation because most like 99% of men, like you just have to think of them as like they're only being nice to you because they wanna have sex with you. And unfortunately they would have sex with a tree. Like men are just so, you know what I mean? Like it's not like, you can't think that this is like a special moment. Like you need to work on yourself and your self-confidence

besides seeking validation from men because it's just not, it's not gonna work and if they leave you, you're gonna feel like such shit and they're not leaving you because of anything wrong with you. Men are just sometimes like, - They're just like animals.

Yeah, like it's just not like that's not the route that you want to go for validation like if you want validation and it's like Making a connection with someone and like going on a date and whatever and seeing yeah It's more than just some like feelings there Telling you to come home with them and like but like a man saying that he's gonna have sex with you or wants to have sex With you isn't special because they would do that with quite literally anything. Mm-hmm

Yeah. And I would like definitely in that situation, since he was like so hot, I would definitely like was seeking kind of like validation in that. But it was definitely for the wrong reasons. Like I was just like bored and like hadn't like gone with anyone. And then I'm so glad I like realized I was like, wait, no, I actually don't want to do this. And then, yeah, him leaving was just like, OK, wait. Yeah. Thank God I didn't do that.

And I wish I'd heard this stuff when I was younger and especially just in college. Like it's not like the way that men act or expect everyone to act or want to act or just like the hookup culture. It's just it can be uncomfortable at times. And I feel like I it took me a while to like gain confidence in myself.

say no say i was in high school and like had listened to an episode like this and then was in that same exact situation like oh my god this would help me for a fact that i would have been like oh my gosh like some girl who's older like

has said that it's okay to say no and that doesn't make me like not cool or that this guy doesn't like me because I don't want to take these photos right now. Like I just, I know it's so uncomfortable to talk about and I don't really like to talk about like hookups online 'cause I just, I don't know. I just, I know I have like a lot of young impressionable girls and it's just like not the place. I just like, I don't like to talk about that on here.

But I think that this is really, really, really important and I think would have made a difference for me. So I hope that it can make a difference for other people. Yeah. I wish I like heard some of this advice when I was like in high school, especially because...

It's just you just don't know. You kind of just go through because it's all the stuff people don't talk about. So you kind of just go through it on your own and kind of just like do whatever, go with the flow. And you don't really know that it's just OK to say no and stand up for yourself. And I feel like also at the same time, we have to say it's totally OK if you're

If you just want to fuck a guy and you just want to do it. That's totally fine. That's different. That's not what this conversation is about. This is about like... No, if you want to do something, by all means, do it. No judgment. We're talking about the area of when you don't want to do something, but you're not even like vocalizing that you don't want to do something. And I also think that's an important thing too, because I don't want people to think that we're downplaying like...

essay at all we're talking about when you're thinking in your head like i don't want to do this but you're like doing it anyway you kind of you're giving off the impression like oh i want to do it you shouldn't feel guilty if you've been in that situation because i think every single girl that i probably know has been in that situation before so this is not also to make anyone feel guilty i'm just saying

I've got to a point where I've learned to stand up for myself and I just wish I knew that sooner. And I think main points here are sexually don't do anything you don't want to do with a guy. It's never too late to turn around. If a guy gets mad at you for not wanting to hook up with him, he's a fucking loser and that's his own problems. And like he has stuff to work on within himself, says nothing about you.

Don't seek validation from trying to hook up with a guy because a guy will put their penis in anything. And it's not normal for guys to just come at you like they you owe them something or that it's normal for them to just come up and touch you like because it's not normal. And you'll never regret saying no. You'll never regret saying no.

I know that was a little bit of a deeper, more serious topic. And I hope that we can give like big sister advice on here is what, you know, like I want these to be things that like our little sisters watch. Yeah. Not now. One day. Not now. And and are able to get like good advice from. But that's not in such like a daunting, boring way. And hopefully we can make things a little bit

more lighthearted and just relatable and I love you guys and it's time to kick Ashton off because I gotta do What Would Alex Do. Okay, love you. I've just been itching to have my solo moment on here again. Obviously. Get out. Okay, that was a great talk though. Love you. Love you. See you next week. See you next week. Bye. Okay, now time for What Would Alex Do.

Alright, time for what would Alex do. You know guys, I unfortunately am supposed to be leaving for Paris Fashion Week. So heading to Paris, heading to the airport in one hour and I still haven't packed yet and I need to record this. So like I don't know why I procrastinate everything and I just I can only do things when there's a fire under my ass but

We're what would Alex doing right now and then I'm packing up this camera equipment and we're going straight to the airport. So, you know, hopefully I don't miss my flight.

and time for what would Alex do. Let's see what's going on with you guys. Okay, I don't know if you're gonna like my advice on this one.

But you have this trip planned. You guys have all your friends going. I mean, you dated this person unless... I'll give two scenarios here. Unless this person is, like, abusing you, relationship that you need to, like, get out of straight away...

I mean, it's like, you could wait another month to break up with him or, I mean, October's, I guess October's like a month, month and a half away, maybe from when you wrote this in. Um, that's tough. That is a long time if you know you want to break up with someone, but I mean, maybe it's just like you have this trip and you all paid for it, so what are you going to do? And all of your friends are coming. I mean, maybe there's a way you could like tell him,

that you want to maybe like thinking about maybe ending things or it depends because if you break up with him like this trip is probably gonna go to shit so you need to make a decision of like would you rather do this trip than break up with him or is like a month and a half more of dating this guy gonna be so insufferable um what would alex do if i had all my friends coming non-refundable trip i mean could you go on the trip without him like

I'm wondering maybe you guys are like, it's like a combined house and maybe that's the problem. But I'm like, maybe I would break up with them and then just go on the trip with my girlfriends. And if they don't want to come, then...

but they're probably gonna want to go. I mean this sounds like really bad probably but I would probably wait for the vacation and then break up with him and then I think also in my mind you can start like mentally like being prepared you know you know you're gonna break up with him so it's like you're already like just preparing yourself through this month and a half. I mean maybe this is like actually terrible advice but if this is a fun trip and you can't get your money back

Again, unless you are in like a situation that is like very bad, very toxic, you need to get out of. And it's kind of just like, man, not really feeling it with this person anymore. Maybe I would wait for the trip to be over and then break up with him. I don't know. Please let us know what you do. Write back in and I want to follow up on this story. Love you so much. Help.

um... whoa. i would freak the f- um... unless, i mean,

by the second that he got home, I would literally be standing there like with a knife like, "what were you doing?" I'm kidding, not a knife. But I would- I would not be able to sleep. Like, I would just- it wouldn't blow out of my mouth like, "tell me right now, where were you? I have your location. I saw you at these apartments, not coming back from work."

I think the only acceptable excuse is that like he was maybe somewhere getting you some engagement ring or something, but like that's just probably... I don't know. I don't like being lied to and unless the lie has something to do with like a surprise for you, I would not be able to sleep at night until he told me exactly what he was doing and there's a 90% chance that he probably wasn't doing something great, so I'd probably break up with him

and I'm so sorry, but I think you definitely need to confront him. Like, you just like, you can't let that slide. I'm sorry. Like, and if you ruin a surprise for yourself, I'm hoping for you, I hope that it is a surprise and I hope he was doing something and picking up some project to give you, but I would confront him and not let him leave my sight until he told me what he was doing and then I'd probably break up with him.

but i love you. my boyfriend broke up with me about a year ago. we've been texting/looking at him multiple times since then. he doesn't want anything serious and i can't seem to find anyone else that makes me feel the way he did. what would you do? okay, you need to cut all contact with this man because he is using you and you're letting him use you. i personally

You always- I've been there before where you think like going back to an ex is good and fine and it feels comfortable but like this man is saying he doesn't want anything with you, he's just using you and I mean if you want that for yourself and you just like want a hookup, great but it seems like you want a little bit more than a hookup and you kind of have feelings and you're kind of still like hoping that he's gonna take you back like you are just prolonging

hurting yourself because at this point you could be have gone through the grieving stage of a breakup moving on maybe finding someone else but you're never gonna find someone else if you're still hanging out with this guy still talking to him you're you're just like you're stuck in this hole so i think what you need to do which is going to be really really hard is you need to like cut contact with him stop hanging out with him stop stalking him

don't hang out with him anymore, it's gonna- it's gonna suck. Like, it's easier to just hang out with him and, like, let yourself think that there's a smidge and a poke that he'll want to get back with you. But honestly, if this man wanted to be back with you, whether you're getting with him or not, like, he will- he will know that, you know? Like, if anything, this man is not concerned at all about getting back with you because he's like, great, like, I don't have to really do anything and I can-

hook up with her and hang out with her but then like I can go get with other girls too and there's no commitment there. If you remove yourself from the situation that gives him a chance to like actually think long and hard like oh damn I miss her but like right now he's happy. Like he is having his cake and eating it too. Is that? That's not the saying. Whatever. He's- I

I don't even know what to say it is, but he is, he is having you as well as having other people as well as having no like committed relationship that he has to rely on. And so you have to look at yourself and you have to know that you are worth way more than that. And you have to walk away from the situation and it's going to suck and it's going to hurt and you're going to be upset and you're going to cry and

and then you're gonna come out on the other side of it and you are going to feel so much better and you're gonna look back and be like "I can't even believe that there was a time that I thought I could never move on from this guy" and if it comes to the fact that you guys both move on and then he wants to get back together in the future that's amazing but I think

You need to give yourself that space and you need to give yourself the opportunity to grow and to be able to be alone. Like being alone doesn't always need to be so scary. You know what I mean? Like you grow so much from that and not having to rely on someone else. So you're going to put yourself through a little bit of hell, but then you're going to come out so much better on the other side. And...

that is my advice that's what alex would do hey alex love you so much love you so much too i'm abroad right now for a semester and i'm really struggling with homesickness all i want to do is go home and see my family and friends but i can't i have months left here and i'm really not sure how i make it what would alex do so homesickness is something that i

I guess when I first moved away from home, I didn't really experience it just because I was like so busy and having so much fun. But I mean, we've all felt homesick at times, like just those moments, like even this summer, there was a point where I was very, very anxious. Like, I just wanted to be back in my own bed. I was like, and you start to feel weird too, because you're like, oh my gosh, I'm sure you're in a, you're studying abroad, you're in another country, like you're just...

You feel so lost and so out of place. And you're like, how did I end up on this other part of the world? And especially sometimes when I travel, I'll feel that way. And I'm like, whoa. You really just have to ground yourself. And what I like to do is take everything day by day. Because the second that you think, oh my gosh, it's going to be months before I see my family. Like, no, no, no. You are going to spiral. Like, there's no way that a normal person wouldn't spiral. Thinking about just, I don't know.

thinking too far into the future. I do that personally with everything and something that's really really helped me is take it day by day. You can call your family, you can contact them, really focus on making friends and making connections because I think that'll really help you a lot and don't be afraid to tell the people that you're there with or your friends and just say that you're homesick because I'm sure a lot of people are too and I think just like opening up about it will make you feel a little bit better but also like creating those relationships there where

you have someone to rely on and you don't feel so alone, I think that will really really help. And also just take it day by day. Like you signed up for this for a reason, right? You wanted to study abroad, you wanted to see the world, you wanted to travel. It definitely can be scary.

But you have to look at how exciting of an opportunity that is, that you are getting to study, you're getting to go to school, you get to travel, you get to be in a different part of the world, you're around so many amazing people. Like, that is an experience that so, so many people would be so grateful to do. And I'm not saying that you're not grateful. I'm just saying like,

Sometimes it helps when you think about like, okay, like this is such a cool opportunity because you can get you start spiraling in your head and you think of a million different things that can go wrong or you just want to go home and then it ruins everything. But like really ground yourself like you wanted to go.

study abroad and take it day by day get through the day and then take the next day by the next day you feel a little sad you feel a little sad that's okay keep moving on just think about a day the second that you think about months is you're gonna freak out because i do that to myself too especially when i get overwhelmed or look at my schedule and i'm like oh my gosh how am i gonna do all of this just take it day by day today's a good day wake up take care of yourself

enjoy the experience and make the most of it and I swear just by taking it day by day it sounds really stupid but it's gonna help you a lot and worst comes to worst like

Like there's no place in the world that if you get into a terrible, terrible space where you need to go home, you will be able to. So don't freak yourself out too much. Enjoy the experience. Slow down. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the little moments. Enjoy the little things. Enjoy the connections you can make. Enjoy the sights you're getting to see and just enjoy the experience. And I hope that that made sense.

any sense and that that was helpful but truly when i feel homesick or overwhelmed in situations i really just have to think about taking it day by day and i'm like okay if i can get through today that's good and then slowly and surely you've stopped thinking about all the little things that stress you out and then before you know it your three months have just gone by and you're like oh my gosh i wish i can go back and do it again so i love you slow down take a deep breath

Listen to some Hot Mess. And I love you. And wish you the best. Okay, guys. That was all for this week's episode of Hot Mess. This is the second episode of this season with Ashton. And, I mean, just even recording this episode today, I feel like we were so much more...

naturally flowing than we were in the first episode and I really tried not to cut Ashton off as much but this has been so much fun and I'm really glad that you guys are liking this and I love reading all your comments and reading all the feedback so just wanted to let you guys know that I appreciate you and I will see you guys next Thursday for another episode of Caught Mess with Alex Airol

I have to go to the airport right now and I have to pack so I have to like get up and get out of here but I love you so much and don't forget to subscribe. I will see you guys next Thursday. Bye! Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess.