cover of episode Family Divorce & Drama

Family Divorce & Drama

2024/9/26
logo of podcast Hot Mess with Alix Earle

Hot Mess with Alix Earle

Chapters

Alix and Ashton discuss their parents' divorce, starting with how they were told about it. They recall their initial reactions and confusion, with Alix having a better understanding of the situation due to overhearing arguments. They also remember trying to get their parents back together, believing it was a simple fix.
  • Alix and Ashton were in third and first grade respectively when their parents divorced.
  • Alix overheard arguments and had a better understanding of the impending divorce.
  • They initially believed they could reconcile their parents.

Shownotes Transcript

Welcome to season two of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. I can't believe we're in season two and I can't believe that I'm in a little setup right now. I don't think you guys have ever seen my backdrop look so organized. If you're watching this, if you're listening, you're going to see the surprise in a second. But, you know, usually I was podcasting kind of in like a random...

hotel rooms around the world or I was just in that like ugly red couch in my room which is now in another part of my apartment and we can't seem to get rid of that couch but I have a new surprise for you guys with this season we have my sister my lovely lovely sister Ashton hey teeny hi am I the special surprise I feel so special you're the special surprise what a treat

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So like basically anyone who's listening or I guess just watching this, we're not together right now. Ashton's in New Orleans. I'm in Miami. But we decided that we wanted to just bring you guys some sisterly love. This is like a little awkward, but I feel like we'll get used to it. I'm used like I had so much fun podcasting with you last season. Like every episode was so fun.

But now this just isn't fun anymore. No, this is fun. I'm just, like, nervous because now I feel, like, more important. Like, when I was just a guest, I was like, oh, like, whatever. So what's up with you this week? I'm so excited because everyone's going to get to sit in our, like, weekly FaceTime calls to each other. This is, like...

why it's perfect. We've kind of been like holding off on catching up with each other. I think we should start off with going over just our messy moments of the week. We're gonna do Hot Topic each week, so we're gonna have a topic that we're gonna discuss. First, I think we need to do just like some catching up on our messy moments of the week. So what's been going on with you? This week, I've just had like a lot of schoolwork and stuff since getting back from New York, and we had the hurricane, which my power was out for three days when I came back, and it got...

so hot in here. It was disgusting. I went to the gynecologist this week. I need to go to the gyno really bad. Well, listen to this. I had to go and they had to do that thing where they shove that little knob up there and then you can see everything. And basically, like,

So I had an ovarian cyst rupture last year, which is probably the most painful thing ever. I thought it was just like really, really bad gas. But then it felt like someone was like stabbing me. And they said it was an ovarian cyst that ruptured. And I felt this. It was a big daddy. Like I can feel it in me right now. It feels like a baseball. Like when I'm walking, I feel it. No, that freaks me out. So I thought maybe I could like get ahead of it. And I went to the gynecologist and for some reason they put me in like

I guess because I had to get an ultrasound, but they put me in the pregnancy department, which I'm sitting there like... Imagine someone saw you in the pregnancy waiting room. Well, no, that's what I thought because I was like, wait a damn minute. I was like, what if someone thinks I'm in here to like see my child right now? But I was in there and...

I was about to pass out for some reason. Like, I just always get nauseous in doctor's offices. Like, you know, I just think, like, the bright lights. And then I, like, was, like, something's wrong with me. And I just, like, I get, like, anxious. And then I almost pass out. You know how I am. A little squeamish. And I'm sitting there just, like, fighting for my life for no reason. But I was, like, nauseous for my cyst, I think. And then everyone's coming out with their husbands and their, like, ultrasound pictures. And they're, like...

baby this is so cute and then the other mothers are like this is the best moment of your entire life and i'm like these people are sitting here and i'm sweating holding on to this chair like i'm probably ruining their nice moment for them but i went in and i saw my cyst and they said it was a big one so i think honestly it made me feel worse because they were like oh there's nothing we can do and then also i saw it on the screen so now i'm just like envisioning this big ball inside of me

And it just is... It's so painful, but basically you just have to kind of wait for it to like go away or it can rupture. Yeah. Or you have to get surgery. I was going to say, isn't it just like you wait for it to rupture kind of and like hope it doesn't? Or it can go down. So basically it like fills up, but then when you get your period, it can like go down. How is this the first topic that we're talking about on Hot Mess? I'm so sorry, everyone. It's okay. We will move on from my ovarian cyst. I can talk about my hormones for years. I think...

my hormones are damaging my hair. Are you experiencing hair loss? Yes, I'm experiencing hair loss and I'm experiencing dry, damaged breakage all over my hair. And I've never had that before. No, you're not. Look at that head of hair.

Oh, you don't know how many hair masks and hair oils and thingies I've been putting in my hair because I've been freaking out. What do you think I'm doing? All my hair is fake right now. I did clip and extensions for episode one. Aw, you're so cute.

um you're fine but like you have a lot of hair on your head well that's what i thought at first and now it's like it's getting bad talking about ovarian cysts so one thing about them is whenever you have to pee you have to go like kind of right away because it kind of hurts when it's pressing up on it and it reminds me of when this summer i was driving back from the hamptons to new york city

So it's like a, I don't know, what is that, like a two-hour drive? Three hours? It's like three. Three hours? Yeah. I had to pee in a cup. You weren't driving, right? No, I was driving myself and I had to pee in a water bottle. Actually. How? Okay, so I was doing the acrobatics in the car. So basically. Oh my god, that's like impressive. I was driving into the city and you know when it gets to the point of the road where you

there's no more stops or gas stations it's just like a bridge and then it's just like one it was just traffic it was literally just traffic and i was in the car and i had to pee and i was like oh should i get off and i was like no i'll wait till i get over the bridge and get into manhattan that was the worst mistake of my life because i was like shaking like it wasn't even past the point where i was like i have to pee like i was like sitting there like dripping sweat um

So finally, I'm like, you know what? We can't go to my... I don't know where I was going. But I was like, I have to go to a gas station for S&P. So I put it in. It says the nearest gas station is 15 minutes away. So I was like, I don't even know if I can make it 15 minutes. I was at the point where I unbuckled my pants and I was sitting in the car hoisting myself out of the seat. I was like, I can't do this. I can't breathe. The people next to me were probably like, well, what's going on in that car? Yeah.

So I get finally to this gas station after 15 minutes. And like all I was thinking about peeing for like 40 minutes. I was like, oh my God, like I just need to pee right now. I get out of this gas station. I get out of the car and I run. And it was like a little gas station on the side of the road in Manhattan. And they were like, there's no bathroom here. And I was like, oh my God. And like I had already...

You know, when you're like prepping that you want, you're going to pee. So like in my mind, like my bladder was like ready to go. Like I was like, it was already dilating. And then I, they told me, they told me that I couldn't, there was no bathroom. And I was like, I like, I might die right now. Like I literally thought I was looking at this man. I was like, I may just piss my pants in front of him.

So I had to take it to the car and I literally was parked at this gas station. I didn't even get any gas. I just pulled over on the side of the road and I had to pee into this cup and there was trucks passing by literally. And I was like, I was on my seat like this, like peeing in the car. How do I feel like, how do you always end up in situations like this? I had to go so bad and I should have, I should have gone when I first needed to pee.

Yeah. Moral of the story is pee when you gotta pee. I miss you so much. I know. I mean, we just saw each other in New York, which was so much fun. It's only been like a week. I know. But I need to see you like on the regular. At least we'll have this now. I was just gonna say this is gonna get really dangerous because I totally forgot that there was a camera over there recording. And I was like, we're just gonna sit here and talk. But honestly, that's the point. I can't believe you're in your senior year of college. I know. I feel so old.

but i'm how are you are you still hating it i wasn't hating it oh my gosh don't tell my friends no i wasn't no it's okay to talk about i was just like having like a weird adjustment period

Where I was like not really wanting to do anything and I was like feeling weird. But now I'm having fun and having a great time except I had so much work to do this week. What do you mean? It's been like two days since you texted me that. Oh, I know. Alex, my mood changes like five times a day. Like I will one day wake up and I'm like I am so depressed. I hate my life. Everything is wrong. Like everything.

everything is just horrible and then the next day I'll be like I am the happiest person alive everything is so amazing I love my life so much I'm so grateful for everything you are like that Ashton texts me and I don't know if I'm getting like super depressed Ashton like we like gotta keep

watching her and like checking in on her or it's like hey like love my life like I'm a travel fairy festival sometimes I'm like I am literally like I remember points last year I'd be like I am the happiest person in the world I'm the happiest I've ever been like this and then two days later I'd be like I just want to cry is it kind of weird being in your senior year of college and then you're also going to like New York Fashion Week I don't think it's weird I

I'm just like living my best life. Not weird, but I guess maybe that was the wrong word, but it's a lot to balance, but you're doing it so gracefully. So what else has been going on with you? Well, I found out that someone I was friends with, well, they don't know that I'm not friends with them anymore, but I'm not friends with them anymore. I was informed that they were talking shit about me and not even talking shit, but like

I guess lies. You know what? I was just like, well, none of this is true. So that can't be good. And I just heard kind of all this crazy stuff. And normal me, normal Alex would make this a full podcast episode. And I would have texted. I literally like drafted out of text. I was like, OK, I've heard what you said about me behind my back. Don't expect me to ever reach out to you again. And I was like, I'm just going to send that and like unfollow her and like bye because that's just how I am. Unfollow.

But then I was like, what would Ashton do? She would probably be a little bit more poised and calm. So now this girl thinks that we're friends and she doesn't even know that we're not friends because I'm not her friend anymore, but she doesn't know. And I feel like I'm being Ashton. Like she has no idea.

That is, like, such a situation I've been in so many times because I just, like, avoid conflict at all costs. I know. And I'm always the one to just fight, fight. I feel, yeah, I feel like that's your fault because, like, when our parents were, like, getting divorced and stuff, you would always just, like, not tell me anything and then, like. Well, I fight for Ashton. Yeah, you would always fight for me. Even in high school, you would do it. Yeah. You would, like, yell at all these girls. And I was like, no, it's fine. Like, no. Yeah.

I just, I just, I love a little tussle, but I don't think, I think I'm all tussled out. Like, I don't think I can do it right now, but this does bring us to our hot topic of the week, which is our parents getting divorced. On season one, I got to talk about like a lot of my, a lot of my life and things I've struggled with. And obviously I'm

our parents being divorced was like a big thing in my life but I never talked about it because I kind of I don't know I feel like I needed my other half to talk about it because we just I feel like we went through everything together I know you're so cute you just call me your other half okay but you know what I mean you know what I mean but like I I just feel like it's better from both of our perspectives if we tell this story

So, hot topic of the week is our parents being divorced. It's not fun. Well, actually, we have fun now, but I think we need to... It can be fun. We need to go back and, like, set the scene of what went down. And we were young. I was in third grade. We were really young. You were in first grade? Yeah. I guess. Yeah, I don't... But do you remember when mom and dad told us they were first getting divorced? Yeah.

Like kind of but like not really I feel like you remember it way more than I do Really you don't remember like sitting around the table and they were like so you know like dad's gonna move out for a few weeks And we're just gonna like see how this goes You don't remember that and then I don't I literally remember both of us just like hysterically sob I remember just sobbing for hours. I had no idea what was going on. I was just crying Yeah Like I was kind of clueless at the time

just like what life was a little bit more in the know I was a little bit more in the know than Ashton because I would like you would like wouldn't let me in the know I would hear like not tell me anything I would hear mom and dad fighting and I would I specifically remember like creeping at the top of the stairs and it would always be like after dinner like cleaning the dishes and I would sit at the top of the stairs like a lurker and I was like what's going on down there

So I knew, but I never wanted Ashton to know because I didn't know much, but I knew that it made me feel upset when I heard them yelling at each other. So I would like go in Ashton's room and be like, let's play a game or like, let's do something. Oh,

So Ashton like never knew. He's a good big sister. That's why I'm so like clueless and dumb and like naive about everything in life because like you just hid everything from me. You can't blame all of your dumb cluelessness on this. No, but that's actually like so sweet that you would do that for me. Like, you know. I know. I was so thoughtful for you. After this, they told us that like dad was moving out for...

They were like, we're just going to see how it goes of dad living in another house. So we were in a little bit of a gray area because I was like, oh, so dad's coming back possibly. And like, I feel like it was like the parent trap. I was like, obviously we can get them back together. Like, this is so easy. This is such an easy fix. So my dad moves out and...

We thought that maybe we could like get them back together because we were a little unclear. They kind of were like, well, dad's going to try living separately from us. And that was just their nice way of sugarcoating it, which like I'm...

I'm not really sure if sugarcoating it is the best way to go when it comes to this stuff. Dad moved into one of his like a million houses that he lived in. And what was I just remember that the one good thing about going to dad's house was that we could get sugary snacks. Dad had the Lucky Charms, the Fruity Pebbles. The Cocoa Pebbles were my favorite. Cocoa Pebbles. Like it was heaven. And I remember it was almost like

I don't know. Like, it was kind of scary. Like, I remember going to dad's house and sitting on the floor and just like going through the Lucky Charms. And like, I think it was like our first like sugar rush of our life. Do you remember the tubs of cookie dough he would have in the fridge? We'd always just eat all the cookie dough.

yeah the only way basically that our dad was like hey like it's okay that we're getting when us over was we were just gonna eat all the junk food in the world and like we were just happy he was like here here's a roll of cookie dough do you remember dad's like brielle house i feel like he was in that house for like the longest before the house he's in now the one that was like on the water and like with the jet skis and we'd always go to treasure island on like the canoes and stuff yeah that was probably

Probably one of dad's best house, but that's also where things... That's, like, where, like, everything happened. I feel like where we met, like, Ashley. Remember, like, her dogs and everything? Ashley is our stepmom. The first time we met her was we came over to my dad's house, and my dad had gotten us tickets to go to a Kesha concert because I was obsessed with Kesha. So...

We go over to my dad's house. Ashley was in there. And I remember like... Wait, no. This story actually like makes me feel so bad. Like we were just... I think about this a lot. I think maybe at this time we were in like fifth grade-ish. We were still pretty young. Yeah. So we were still pretty young. We...

We had heard about like dad's girlfriend Ashley but we had never seen her. We had never met her. Like her dogs would be at dad's house and dad was like oh I'm just watching them because she's out of town. But like they were fully dating. We just never really got to a point where we were being introduced to her yet. So we go to my dad's house and we walked in the door and I remember just seeing her and like we

We were both... Ashton, I feel like, was kind of just following my lead. But we were, like, on the same page of... I was like, well, I'm not talking to her. Like, I'm not talking. So, my dad was like, hi, this is Ashley. Like, say hi. And I literally think we literally were, like, just a blank face. I remember. I was like, I didn't know what to do. So, I was like, Alex isn't...

Alex literally was like dead staring like death staring her actually and not saying a word So I was like i'm not gonna say anything obviously like that's crazy We were little kids and like we didn't want to meet Anyone like I didn't want my dad to ever be we were just not open So I was just like i'm not i'm not open to this. This is not happening for me so she was there and we completely just like ignored her to her face and

is this next part no this next part really breaks my heart because oh geez so then after we're like not really saying hi ashley was like well like i got you girls something because she was trying to like win us over she was trying to be nice like you know shower us with gifts and she was like

Why don't you come on in here? Like, I have something to show you. So we walk into my dad's room. My dad, Ashton, Ashley, me. We go in there. You would have thought that this was a tart influencer trip. It was this bedroom was decked out in Claire's makeup. The bed was, like, covered with, like, all Claire's accessories and makeup. No, we had, like, I think she got the entire store of Claire's and laid it out on this bed for us.

She did. It was like glitter. Do you remember like those like fishnet like arm? Oh my gosh. Yes. And like if Claire's was the shit like that was the coolest store ever. Claire's was cool.

So I loved Claire's at the time. So this was cool. No, I'm walking in and I'm like, fuck. I'm like, she's really good. She's really good. I was looking at this bed and I was like, I do want to take all of these presents right now. And I was like, I was like, these would like these fishnet hands would be good for the Kesha concert. Like they had those cool journals. And that's what they said. That was like the whole thing.

She was like, I got you like all these like accessories and stuff. Like if you want to wear them to the Kesha concert, like all this stuff, like so sweet and nice. And then dad was like, it gets worse because I remember dad. I remember at this point we still were dead face. I was like, I will not. I will not. And my dad was so awkward. My dad was like, say thank you. And we were like, thank you. And then we turned and walked around. So we,

But you know what I do know? I don't know at which point we took the makeup, but I do know we took it. Maybe it just wasn't in front of her face because I do remember getting ready for the Cashew concert. I remember wearing it all and using it. We had like a, me and Ashton.

We had a little room. Remember, my side was pink and yours was purple. That room was awesome. That was the coolest room ever. And we had, like, the matching trundle beds, but they were, like, mix-matched. It was, like, Mary-Kate and Ashley matching. So, at this point, we reject the gifts from Ashley. We said nothing to her besides, I think, like, a thank you. That was, like, definitely so angsty. And then we went in our room. We had beanbags aside our bed. I remember sitting on the beanbags. I remember we were sitting on the beanbags, and, like, we were just, like, kind of both upset. And I think we both, like...

wanted to cry but like no oh why am i gonna cry like being really upset like i was just like i was just like i don't like this like i don't want dad to like have a new girlfriend so we were just kind of sitting there together and then i don't know at which point we like went back and stole the claire's makeup and got ready for the concert but we're smearing on that glitter whatever and

then my dad was like clip in hair extension yes and then my dad was like okay guys so you know like actually for the Kesha concert like I got four tickets so like Ashley could come with us and I we said no oh

no like we literally were like actually no we were like no she can't like obviously dad didn't want to just randomly take us to kesha like obviously he thought this was going to be a

No, yeah. Dad got these Kesha... He thought this was going to be, like, a great bonding experience for, like, us and Ashley. The only reason we got to go to Kesha was because dad was like, okay, this is something they want to do. We can bring Ashley. Like, this could be, like, our first, like, mingling together. Yeah. So my dad...

takes us to this kesha concert i literally say like ashley can't come which was it was nice that he gave us the choice i guess yeah i think it was nice that like they like agreed and he wasn't like no like she's coming yeah so then my dad got stuck taking us to a kesha concert which by the way i think it was so inappropriate it was so inappropriate and we were young i just remember her like

having sex with like a meat skull on stage and i was like yes and dad was like what is this and i was like you're like alex picked it i'm like of course i'll expect it no but lmfao opened and i remember like they we were like pretty close up these were like good tickets my they were spraying beer on like the first few rows and i remember being like i

And I was loving it, little Alex. No, I remember being like, I was just like embarrassed the whole time because we were with dad. So like, I didn't want to like act like I was having fun. Yeah, I know. We definitely like didn't dance, but whatever. No, we stood there. Well, it's like embarrassing to dance in front of your dad when you're little. I was like, I can dance right now. But like, I was enjoying what I was seeing with my eyes.

And so, yeah, Ashley didn't get to come to the concert. But then, you know, Ashley would start to like come around a little more. But like there was also remnants of her in the house. Like all of a sudden, like I would see some girls clothes in dad's closet. And I was like, hey, like.

what's these girls clothes doing here and dad was like oh she must have left them and then the next week you were always like snooping though you were always looking to find something oh I was a snooper and you would like go in like locked rooms and like locked drawers somehow I would go through the safes I was like

I was hacking and entering everything that I could. You were always on a mission. You wanted to find shit. You didn't know what you were going to find, but you were like, I'm going to find something. No, unfortunately, I've gone through everyone's personal belongings and it's...

it's just it's what i was doing but what else are you supposed to do when you're little like i was a spy so then as as there's more belongings coming over to my dad's house of this woman that i was like i'm we're not accepting um so this house was on the water like you said it had the jet skis it was you know there was like a lot of outdoor activities and you know those like

water shoes the water shoes oh my god the water shoes no this the water shoes like i don't even know what they look like they're like really ugly little things like little like wetsuit socks yeah you the wetsuit socks you put on your feet and it's basically so like you don't get all the gross seaweed on your feet but all of a sudden there's our two little pairs there's dad's pairs and then there's a woman's pair hell no bitch uh-uh not in our house

So I see this woman's pair of wet shoes and I was like, this isn't happening. This was like the tea of the century. She can leave her shit here, but she can't also have... She cannot partake in our water activities when we're not around. Me being the mischievous gal that I was, I took matters into my own hands and I said, you know what? She wants to have these boat shoes here. I'm going to ruin them. So I remember... I'm going to ruin them.

I remember going into the bathroom, taking, like, a fresh tube of, like, Crest toothpaste. And I... I was there. I remember. I squirted the toothpaste all in these water shoes. So, it's like, you couldn't even tell unless you, like, put your feet in them. So, I was like, fine. Like, next time she puts these on, she's going to get toothpaste on her feet. And...

indeed she did honestly we were like so creative with our pranks on her i know like i remember one time we were like making chocolate covered strawberries and we made like a chocolate covered clove of garlic and like these are things we laugh about now so like our family like we're literally like ashley's like our sister you know what i mean but it's like

it's this is a story we laugh about all the time now and she tells us because like she was dating my dad and like she stuck her feet in these shoes and got toothpaste on them but she couldn't act like really really upset because like i you know like she wasn't like part of our family where she could just be like hey like yeah what do you do like she couldn't she didn't have like the authority to yell at us at this point so like she just had to like soak it up that she had like toothpaste all over her shoes

and that's horrible no yeah we weren't the best but i mean i guess it builds character it took a while for us to come around because i think that's another thing is so many people see our family online and they're like you guys are so close because we have we have my mom my dad my stepmom my mom's boyfriend we have all the kids like we all do everything together which is kind of crazy

It's great, but it's not very common in most divorced families. Yeah, but Thanksgiving this year, we spend it with both our mom and our dad and whatever. But that's not how it always was. And I don't want people to think that our parents got divorced and we were like, hey, we're a big, perfect family. We're all best friends now.

Years and years of us fighting and hashing it out to like get to this point that we're at. And I'm very grateful that we're here. If we're keeping up with the timeline here, this probably puts us at about like sixth grade. And at this point, my mom was like, I've had enough of New Jersey. I want to get out of here. I want to move to New York City. So...

all of a sudden that we almost did that yeah we're totally forgot we're in i'm in middle school you're in fourth grade fourth grade my mom was like we're gonna move to new york city i remember she got an apartment there we toured schools there and like we were ready to like up and leave no we were like gonna leave i remember we would like take we took all those like

private school like tests to like get in and I remember like purposefully failing all of them I was like if I fail all these schools like we can't move to New York and then I was like mom's like okay you're going to public school and I was like oh okay yeah I was like I feel bad because I feel like we like forced mom out of that a little bit because she

No, no. All of her friends lived there. Yeah, well, my mom just wanted to start over. She was like, you know what? I want to go to a new town, a new place, meet new people. Which I would too. Yeah, I would too. But I was like, mom, you're not moving. But I remember it was to the point we were enrolled in...

a public school in New York City. We had an apartment. We would make schedules with dad about the ferry. So he was like, every Wednesday, like, you guys can take the ferry or I'll take the ferry to come see you guys after work. And, like, we were barely ever going to see dad. And we were just, like, ready to move to New York City. And...

then we put our house on the market and someone put an offer on the house and then like my mom like last minute like after everything was planned like i remember i told all my friends at school like see you later like i'm moving to new york city i was upset yeah and then my mom was like actually we're not going at this point we're in sixth grade and

And Ashley had just gotten pregnant and she had Isabel when I was in sixth grade. Cause I remember leaving class in sixth grade, but the way that we found out that Ashley was first pregnant and my dad and Ashley weren't married yet, but like we like dad would always just drop bombs on us.

No, dad is like the worst person at like confrontation or talking about his like emotions or feelings or anything. Which is crazy. Actually, he's not bad at confrontation. It literally was just when it came to like telling us anything. He was like scared to tell us things. Oh, he was scared of us. Oh, dad, are you scared of us?

No, but he was actually the worst with telling us things. Like, he would... He really went about it the wrong way. He really was at the wrong place, wrong time. Well, you know, it's kind of sad because it's our parents' first time at life, too. Yeah. But, like, I think when you're... You think that, like, you want your parents to know the right thing to do all the time. But, like, my dad definitely was a bomb dropper. Like, he was, like, just driving us to school on a random morning. And he'd be like, hey, so, like, you know, last Tuesday I got married. And we were like, what? Yeah.

no no no like you're saying that like it's like a joke though like no he actually did this we were actually did this well wait we found out what was the first one oh it was is a girlfriend and she's moving into my house oh i don't remember that one really but that one was like not that big of a deal the most traumatizing one was ashley's pregnant

We're just driving with dad one day. I think he got us. Did he take us to get like ice cream or something? Like we're just driving around, driving to his house. Dad was taking us to get bikes because dad was like, oh, I'll get them bikes and distract from the fact that like I'm having a child. That was like his way of like.

easing us into things he would like yeah buy us ice cream or like yeah anytime we were going for ice cream or any sort of treat we knew something bad was going down so we're in the car my dad's like hey i we i don't even think we wanted bikes he was just like hey like you guys want some new bikes

We were like, yeah, let's go to the bike store. So we're driving there. And he what was it? He did this before he got us. We actually never got bikes. So we pull into the bike store parking lot. And my dad's like, so, you know, so at this time, we're not we haven't been very clear on the timeline here. At this time, my dad and.

Ashley are dating. They're not married yet. We were in our angsty era. So dad takes us to the bike store and we pull into the parking lot. I remember, I think we were like about to get out of the car and he literally like, I kid you not, this is what happened. He parks the car, he turns around, he goes, so, uh, Ashley's pregnant. And we literally, I literally,

No, I don't think I've ever sobbed so much in my life. I remember like we couldn't stop. Both of us couldn't stop crying for like hours. Yeah. And it just the world was ending. Like it's not even that it's sad. It's it was just such a shock and came out of nowhere. We had no idea. No build up. What's going on right now? It was like a full like 180 from like the bike store. My girlfriend's pregnant. We were like, what?

So we didn't get bikes. I think we just went home because we were both like screaming, crying, stop crying. He should have like gone as the bikes then told us. Yeah. Cause you were just like, I want to go home. Yeah. So we just turned around from the bike store. Um,

But, you know, it's it's a funny story now. She gave birth to Isabel and we obviously like loved her and she was perfect. And I think Isabel like made us all closer. Another thing that was kind of a bomb that dad dropped on us was we were driving to school.

And at this point, I think I was in eighth grade. My dad was driving us to school in the morning. Our school was like 30 minutes away. And he turns around in the car. Turns around in the car. It's probably like 7 a.m. Thursday morning. He turns around. He's like, hey, so you know how like Ashley and I took a trip to Paris last week? And we were like, yeah. And he's like, so, you know, like we got married. And we literally...

sobbing again obviously i don't know why like his only thought like choice of action about telling us things about ashley or anything in his life was to be driving maybe it was to like avoid eye contact with yes he couldn't look us in the face so he had to be driving but it wasn't even like they like went and eloped they fully planned to get married and didn't tell anyone well they i think they told people they just didn't tell us which is fine but like it's okay i'm

I'm not okay about it. I wanted to go to a wedding in Paris. No, I honestly would have loved to go to a wedding in Paris, but I don't think we would have appreciated it. Like, dad was like, you guys would have just... No, we probably would have tried to ruin the wedding. Imagine they're having their great wedding and it's so beautiful and we're sitting there sobbing and crying. We didn't have the best trash record of making their moments romantic. He's like, yeah, these crybabies ruining my day.

So we didn't get invited to the wedding. No, we just got told about it in the car on the way to school. But then at this point too, mom would start dating around and

And I was, I think with mom's boyfriends, I was just like a hard-o. Like they were always scared of me. You're just like so skeptical of everyone. But it also is so awkward when your parent starts dating someone new because you're just like, who is this person? Like obviously like mom has like been hanging out with them like without us. And then it has to be a thing where you have to meet them and like.

it's just so awkward it's so it always just like takes time you know like i would just like what like just never what are you doing with my mom like you like yeah like hello like who are you stranger it takes so much time to like separate in your mind like your mom and dad together like now i don't think of mom and dad together at all like like you know what i mean like i don't see them but like

when they're your parents, like you just think of them as like a pair. So all of a sudden I see this other guy around my mom. I'm like, and who are you? Like, get, get out of my household. And who are you? And I remember like, I was up to no good always. Yeah.

God, you were the worst. You still are. Don't worry. Yeah, I didn't want to give them the easy route. I was 14 and I was like asking them the hard questions. I was like, what are your plans with my mother? All of mom's boyfriends have always been like, Ashton, like,

not scared around you they're like alex scares me a little bit and i was like yeah no she's just like tougher to warm up or like because i'm always just like so nice i'm like hey like how are you whatever and then i was like is alex like mean does she like me and i'm like no she does and they're like are you sure like she's giving me like this mean death stare and i'm like no like she's just testing you she's fine well i was an fbi agent and i still think remember good one

Do you remember that time you caught one of mom's boyfriends like farting or something? Yes, I do actually.

One of, so, you know, I was always up to no good. I was always spying on every parent's significant other. I was just spying on everyone, actually. I think my favorite thing to do when I was little was spy. Looking for something, always. So one night we were all getting ready to go to dinner. It was me, Ashton, mom, and then my mom's boyfriend at the time. And he was a new boyfriend, so I was like, I'm not really sure...

How I'm feeling about him. Like, we just... We have to, like... We have to see him in his natural habitat. You know what I'm saying? So... Mm-hmm.

I got ready for dinner earlier than everyone else. And my mom's boyfriend was sitting downstairs. All the girls were all upstairs getting ready. I snuck downstairs very quietly. Like this was one of those things where it probably took me like 20 minutes to get down the stairs. So like it wouldn't creak or anything like, like really like, I enjoyed like what I remember when I was little, like I would like go like on the sides of the walls and like look over and I enjoyed it. Like I loved the thrill of feeling like I was in a spy movie. And,

And I went around and there was this area of the living room that you could see into the kitchen. And there was like a little wall. So I was like on the living room couch behind this wall, peering into the kitchen to spy on my mom's boyfriend. And I was probably there for like 30 minutes. But I had a big discovery. Big discovery. I was literally just watching this man. Like I literally was just looking at him like. You're such a creep.

Whatever. I was just looking at him. I wanted to observe like what he was doing when no one was around and he was sitting there. You're like those weird little kids that are just like always lurking in the corner. He was sitting there, okay?

and he lets out the biggest fart ever and I was sitting behind this wall and I was like and like I literally was like oh I just got some major tea so I remember when we went to dinner that night I like called him out I was like so like you just farted in the kitchen and like I don't know what I thought I was doing with that one but you were like the devil like

Like I can imagine dating someone and like having to have like you as their kid. Like I would not be able to do it. Wait, I'm not that bad. You were. I am. When you were a kid. I do cause a lot of the problems though when our family has fights, but not. Oh. Wait, I retract. I retract. I don't cause the problem. No, I don't think you should retract that because that's true. No, no, I don't cause the problems. I'm just not afraid to speak on them.

true half the time i'm fighting on your behalf i'm just like hey i don't want to fight it's things like i wouldn't even think to pick a fight about and then you start fighting and i'm like oh well thanks girl i'm the protector you have my back the spy kid our parents got divorced when we were so young that like it's kind of just like such a normal part of our lives but i feel like if our parents were to get divorced now it would be like almost harder in my opinion do you agree

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think when like you're little, I guess, well, we were only it's it's so crazy, though, because we were what eight at the time. But like it's still like I feel like when someone's like what's something like traumatic that's happened in your life? Like it's still like the first thing I bring up and it was so long ago. And like, I don't know, like it's it's definitely really daunting. But I can imagine like being older because we even got used to like doing holidays, how we do holidays. Yeah.

I love Divorce Parents Christmas. It's my favorite activity. Divorce Parent Holidays are like the best thing ever because you get two Christmases. You get two of everything. It's like we would do Christmas at dad's house and then we drive 30 minutes, go to mom's house. We do presents with mom. Like it's honestly like the holidays are pretty fun.

The holidays are really fun with divorced parents. Well, it's actually also kind of sad because there is a point in time that don't you feel like that? It's sad when you're not doing things like as a family anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like you're never going to be like mom, dad and them again. Does that make sense?

Yeah, but that's what I was saying. I'm just used to it. That's just our life. I don't know. Imagine right now if our parents were to get divorced and then you'd have to just be like, what, my entire life you were together and now you get divorced? Yeah, I could see that being harder, but I think I hated the fact of growing up, even in high school and going to friends' houses who...

I feel like I never had friends that parents were divorced. I feel like I was the only one. Yeah, we were, like, the only ones, like, for a while that had divorced parents. Which I feel like it's more common now, but even still, like, a lot of my friends' parents are together. So I always craved, like, a family game night or something. I was like, ooh, like, we never get to do those, like, all together. Just things that felt, like, so family. Like, I always would get so upset about. And...

I don't know. But I think it's... We can do a family game night. But... If you want. No, just, like, cheesy family things. I always was, like, that's so cool that people have that. But now we do have it, and we have a big blended family. No, we're, like, really lucky with how our parents were able to, like, coexist. I feel like the way mom handled it, she was, like, really good about it for us in that sense. Like, I feel like she could have...

Been like, oh, I hate your dad. I know so many people now that have divorced parents that like their parents will pit their kids like against each other, against like the other parent and like make them choose sides and make them fight. Like our parents never did that. And they were really, really good about that because I feel like

Yeah, I think what was good with our parents was, or I guess what was helpful for us is dad sometimes would, like, take us for, like, talks. Do you remember those two? He would just kind of sit us down and be like, okay, like, what's upsetting you guys? What's working? What's not working? So I feel like my advice for anyone...

whose parents are getting divorced is like have those conversations with your parents because like they don't know how you're feeling and that you don't know how they're feeling a lot of the time so it's like hard but i do remember having those conversations it was just so sad like we just we would cry the whole entire time but they were helpful and it it was nice to know that like they cared like they were trying their best yeah although we were upset

Ugh, you're unlocking, like, a lot of traumatic memories that I didn't know I had. Really? You don't remember all these things. Everything I'm talking about, Ashley's, like, not remembering. I don't, like... I don't know. I was so young. But, yeah. Oh, my God. That was...

But you know what? It was hard. A memory it did just unlock is thinking of this was honestly the holidays just got me thinking of this when you're like going back and forth is the one thing about like with divorced parents is your dad's house is going to have like the absolute bare minimum. Like I don't think I had any like

socks bras underwear there I had like one like maybe like baggy shirt for pajamas and like you just like you have like oh my god the overnight bag yeah you come with your overnight bag but I remember one time specifically going to dad's house it was after dance class so I had like a leotard and tights on and you don't wear underwear with leotard and tights

And then we, it's like, it's awkward going through changes when like you have these divorced parents and there's not like a mom in the household. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. I feel like I know where you're going with this story. Do you know where I'm going? But I don't know, but keep going. We go to my dad's house and there's nothing. I have my pair of pajamas there. That's all I have. Like I don't have underwear to choose from. I didn't pack it in my overnight bag. So I'm like, okay, I have my pajamas set, like whatever. We go down for family dinner and I had gotten my period and I was still at the age, like I think I must've been like

eighth grade maybe during this where it's like i'm not telling dad i got my period like that's so awkward and i also wasn't gonna ask ashley for a tampon because that's also awkward like it's just you're going through puberty like these things are awkward and i was like i'm not telling anyone any of this so i'm like sifting through the drawers in dad's house because i'm bleeding and i was like oh my god like i need something and i found like a box of pads so i was like okay great

So I stick the pad. Okay, great. Great. And I wasn't a pad girl. So I was always like, I went straight to the tampons. So I didn't really know the whole like pad, like how it was working. And...

This is like my favorite story ever. Not that it's rocket science, but I didn't really know how the pads were working. So I stuck the pad to the pajama pants and I was like, great, fine. We're going down for dinner. So no underwear on the pad sticking to the like the crotch of the pants.

we eat dinner i go back upstairs whatever i'm sitting in my bed all of a sudden i hear my dad laughing and like the whole family like i'm pretty sure you were a part of this parade ashley's coming upstairs i hear everyone come in the room i hear everyone like alex like did you like lose something and i was like what do they want now like what's going on and i'm like guys what like what are you talking about and my dad my stepmom and my sister come in my room

With a pair of tongs. Oh, and the little kids. And they were holding up my pad that dropped out of my pants onto the kitchen floor. It just fell off the pajama pants. My pad. And they brought it into my room and they were like, you left this in the kitchen. Dad was like holding them like with the tongs like walking through the house like this. It was disgusting.

no like couldn't you imagine at the point where like you don't even tell your parents that like i i never discussed like yeah you're like too embarrassed to ask for a tampon like i was too scared to ask for a tampon and my fucking pad fell out on the kitchen floor that's so embarrassing yeah i like remember like now it's really it's really funny now but at the time like i actually was like

Like, I think I would have like started crying. No, I was like, it wasn't it wasn't funny in the moment. I was like, everyone get out of my room. Like my face turned purple. So, yeah, it's just like little things like that. I honestly feel like it has allowed for us to be better at communicating with our parents.

I think it was good. I think it was good for us. Now our family is just even bigger and better. I know. I really think it shaped me as a person. And I think anyone who's going through their parents getting divorced, I think leaning on your siblings is a really big thing because no one else is going to understand it like your siblings are. I just remember it's so nice when we could just have our moments and rant and be like, fuck those bitches. Yeah.

You know? I know. And we'd just be like, did you see what they said earlier? Like, how dare they? Like, I think not. You can, like, exile your parents a little bit if you're a little mad. But, like, don't exile your siblings. You know? Because, like, they... Yeah. You're going through it together. You're going through it together. And I would say, though, just communication with your parents is the best. Like, I think that's... Because, I don't know. Like, what do you think has allowed us to get so close with everyone? Definitely communication. But I also think...

I feel like everyone just kind of sucked it up. Like, of course, when your family's going through something like that, like, everyone has something that they're sad or they're pissed off about. Like, everyone has a right to be feeling some type of way. Mm-hmm.

But you have to look at it. You just have to look at the bigger picture. Yeah, I think that's what we started to do when we got older, which was easier for us to grasp. It's like, wait, we want a family. Like, we want to be able to, like, be happy. We want, like, everyone at these big life events with us and, like, be together. And, like, because we wanted everyone there. Like, it's nothing worse when it's, like,

oh like my mom's coming to this so my dad can't come yeah you know so i think like our parents really they like sucked it up for us they they were good examples for us which i'm very grateful for because i know a lot of parents don't do this but like our parents were really good at like

you know what we want they put their problems aside yeah they put their problems aside so i feel like we kind of just like mimicked them at a certain point obviously not when we were super young and like just weren't mature enough yet but i think like once we got into high school we kind of were like okay like you guys are doing this and like not creating problems so being civil we're not gonna do that either and i mean there was at some points where then i think we like

would push down our emotions too much, which I think in the... Yeah. I think in the recent year... Try to, like, avoid... We did some family therapy. Oh, yeah, family therapy. Big fans of that in this household. Every problem we have, my family's like, go to the fucking therapist. We are big supporters of therapy in the rural household. It is good if you have family therapy because families, like, you're just going to fight... It just, like, forces you to all, like...

talk well it's also nice to have like a moderator you know what i mean it's like it's almost like god like they're like okay and elaborate like what that made you feel like no but i'm saying like whatever the therapist says we all have to just like suck up at a group we're like okay yeah yeah so the therapist is like kind of our our role model like hopefully that this episode doesn't cause a family fight i'm really hoping we didn't say anything bad no

We're just talking about how bad you were. Yeah. Blame it all on me. I'll take the heat. Well, did we miss anything? I was going to say, I never want to get married because I'm scared of divorce. Because now I feel like everyone's divorced. Wait, I am also kind of scared of divorce. Like, I'm not scared of it. I'm scared. Like, I'm going to be divorced. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I just feel like at this point it's inevitable. Well, grandma's divorced, mom's divorced. I feel like it's like the same. Mom's sister. I think four out of the seven in dad's family are divorced. Well, I'm definitely not getting divorced because I would rather like wait so, so long to get married, I think, than get divorced, hopefully. But I mean, obviously you don't get married thinking that you're going to get divorced, but I'm just not. You would. Yeah.

I feel like you always think about like the most cryptic things and like happy scenarios. Oh, I always think like in relationships. Yeah. No, but that's why I'm like, I'm just not going to get married. Like if one day there's someone who I'll have an awesome wedding, but like I'm not you don't I feel like it's kind of silly to plan to get married when you don't have anyone you're going to marry.

You know? Well, no. Like, I feel like if one day I meet someone amazing and I'm so in love with them and I want to marry them, I'll marry them. Well, yeah, you can't get married without someone. But like, I'm not going to walk around in life being like, when am I going to get married? To who? To when? Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? But you want to get married. I would if I like, ideally, I would like to get married and have children. But I don't think I would. Like, sometimes that scares me.

Okay, I don't know what to tell you. I don't think I would get... I mean, I don't think. I know I wouldn't get married just to be married.

because that's not yeah I think that is crazy like but I think that's what so many people do or like even wait Ashton you're gonna experience this when you graduate college because now all my friends are turning 24 and everyone is like freaking out about like I'm so sick and tired of everyone saying to me so when are you gonna get engaged like wait I'm actually like already having a panic attack I'm literally a child that is terrifying to me like

But I swear to God, you graduate college and everyone's like, okay, on to marriage, on to babies. I'm like, what? Like that, I'm not on that wavelength right now. I swear to God. I swear to God.

Like some of my friends are like, I want to be married by 26, have my kids by 28, whatever. But I'm like, I would never like set a milestone like that because I'm like, if it happens, it happens. Then you're just going to like end up disappointing yourself or rushing into something that you don't know if you really want. Yeah, I would not want to rush into something. Not for me. I'm okay. I'm okay right now. We could marry each other. Is that illegal? That would be...

I don't know if that's legal. Well, if you don't... We could live together. If you don't find someone to marry, then you can marry me in Braxton. Why would I be the one not finding someone to marry? Because that's what you keep saying. You're being negative, Nelly. Well, no. Then I would just live with my friends. Or maybe I'll live with you in Braxton. You guys can take care... Yeah, what? Actually... Obviously... That would sound... Well, I don't want to marry you in Braxton. That would be weird. But I would live with you guys. You guys could, like, be my parents. Well, we could get, like, a dog for you or something to marry. No, I'll be your dog. Okay.

You just take care of me. All right. Well, we got to wrap it up. It's time for What Would Alex Do? What Would Alex Do? is not being left in season one. That is coming along. But I fear that Ashton's not, we're not involving her in the What Would Alex Do's. No one cares about what Ashton would do. Only What Would Alex Do? Not what Ashton would do. It's what Alex would do, okay? No one wants my advice. That's for sure. Love you so much. I'll talk to you next week, Ashton. Love you.

See you soon. Wait, miss you already. Bye, Pooks Neal. Miss you. Bye. Bye. Okay, let's get into what would Alex do.

Time for what would Alex do? I'm all cozy now in this chair. I've changed. I'm a little bit more comfortable. I have on my new hot mess merch, which is live right now at the link in my bio. We have these slippers on and I don't think you guys understand. I've had like one pair of slippers that I keep and I always wear because they're just so comfy and I don't really like to change up my slippers, but I've been wearing them for a long time.

Those other slippers have not left the deep deaths of my closet deep dark deaths I don't know what i'm saying. But because these are really really comfy So earl girls if you want to be matching with me, we have some slippers. We have a gray sweat set and Let's get into your questions I told my boyfriend it would make me the happiest girl in the world if he got me flowers and he never did I've been waiting four months for them. How would you handle this situation? Oh

Okay, this is a good one because I also just love flowers. Like, I just think flowers are the best. They're so romantic. Like, there's just nothing better than getting flowers from a guy. But I was going to say just be upfront with him and tell him, but if you already told him that you want flowers, like, I don't know. Sometimes guys, honestly, they're just like,

They're a little dumb. Sometimes you just have to be like really straight up with them. Like I want flowers, get me flowers. And I know sometimes like you don't want to do it because you don't want to like ask for the flowers because the whole thing that's like fun about them is like the surprise of them. But yeah.

I feel like if you could really just, like, I don't know, maybe you're, like, scrolling on TikTok or something or send him a thing of, like, a bouquet and be like, look how pretty these are. Like, I love these type of flowers. Like, sometimes you just need to, like, really let him know. And maybe he's waiting for, like, a special moment. So...

I don't know, but I would probably be pretty dramatic. And it's like when someone wants to like get engaged and they're like giving hints, you know what I mean? It's like you just kind of have to hint that you want the flowers or just tell him. Be like the next thing or whenever we do, like I'm so excited for you to surprise me with flowers. Thank you so much. I feel like that's what I would do. I actually think, which is crazy because Braxton's so romantic, but I want to say he didn't get me flowers for...

I don't know how long, but I remember being like, you know, you've never gotten me flowers, right? And I just said that to him. And then I think like the next time we did something, Braxton showed up with flowers. So sometimes you just have to tell them.

Love you and I hope you get your flowers. Help. I'm engaged and I've been with my fiance for six years. We get married next year. I met a guy that I work with and I'm completely into him. I have more feelings for him than I do my fiance. I obviously have not cheated, but I don't know what to do about these feelings and there's no way out of it spending every day with this other guy. What do I do slash how do I stop my feelings for this guy or do I need to break up with my fiance? I'm panicking. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Um, okay. I don't know much about being engaged or getting married. I'm just, I'm not there yet, but I do feel that it can't be a good sign if you are having feelings for someone else. Like, that just doesn't, I don't know about it a lot, but I feel like I know that that isn't right. And, um,

I don't know because this is obviously going to be a lot more complicated than I'm making it seem right now, but it seems to me that you need to not marry this man. I'm so sorry. I don't know. I don't know. But like, I just don't think you're going to be with this person, right, for the rest of your life. And, you know, maybe this isn't the best advice what I'm about to say, but I've heard...

This is just what I've heard from people that are married, happy in couples, happy marriage, happy wife, happy life. I've heard that sometimes when you've been with someone, especially like you're saying you've been with this guy for six years, right?

And sometimes you need a break and maybe that's not the right thing, but like I've heard of a lot of couples that are like, we were dating for so long. I felt like it wasn't working. We broke up and then they ended up in like a year or so getting back together, getting married and like some maybe, maybe that's your case. Like maybe you've never...

Been with another guy or I don't know Maybe you're just like kind of craving that because you've only been with this one person But I do have to say that it's definitely not good that you have feelings for another guy like the guy that you're marrying um

I feel like should, I think he should be the only person you have feelings for. So maybe I would consider, I don't think I would consider like going on a break and being like, maybe we'll get back together, but I would definitely consider ending it. And if you do get back together, that's great. And maybe you just like needed to get something out of your system. I don't know. I also don't know if this is terrible advice, but I feel like I wouldn't

go walk down the aisle and get married to someone while having feelings for someone else. So my advice would be to break off the engagement. I'm so sorry. Love you. And I'm wishing you so much luck and let us know what happens. Hey Alex, I really loved your last episode. One thing I struggle with sometimes is spending too much time on my phone, especially if I'm feeling a bit down. How do you manage this with your career being about social media and do you have any tips for the girlies who get stuck scrolling? I

I get stuck scrolling all the time to the point where my boyfriend literally has to take my phone and take it out of my hand because I'm like, I'm not even watching the videos that are on TikTok. I'm just sitting there like in a trance. Like I literally just scroll and like I don't even process what's happening. So I definitely get stuck scrolling too. But what happened? So...

And maybe we'll talk about this in a future episode, but I kind of was sharing this on my social media platforms, but I went through the beginning of September just like a really, really bad mental health spout. My mental health was all over the place. And even when you go back to like the aura reading episode, like I was all over the place then and it kind of just got like worse and worse. And I got into this place where I

Was so anxious. I Couldn't leave my bed. I was having trouble like eating I was like I would try to have like a smoothie Just like try and like ingest anything and I was so anxious that I couldn't do it so I was in a really bad place and honestly like truly what helped me so much was putting my phone down and like literally touching grass like literally going outside and going for a walk and I mean it sounds like

stupid and then they're like go touch grass but it's true because sometimes you get so wrapped up in like what is on your phone or just like who you're following or what's going on on there that you forget that like there is a life outside of social media like there is I don't know like it sometimes it can really take a toll on your mental health and I feel like it's kind of

Not controversial for me to say but it's like my job is on social media and creating content and I hope that I have like fun content that people can like Laugh at and it's not making them like overthink their lives But like sometimes it is a little healthy to put the phone down And go get some fresh air I think a lot of the times I'll personally get stuck on social media in a sense of like getting wrapped up in other people's opinions about me and

then when I put my phone down and I'm like, okay, I have my friends around me. I have my boyfriend. I have my family. Like all these people know who I am and they love me for who I am. And

that just sometimes helps me compartmentalize things a little bit more. So I would say if you're struggling and you need to take a break off of social media, like that is very, very completely normal. I even took a little bit of a break myself. I was like not posting for like a few days, which sounds crazy, but I'm normally posting like

many times a day but I've tried to just give myself like a break recently and been like it's okay to not need to like be on there 24 7 because I always feel like I'm letting like you guys down if I'm not posting but then I was like you know I really need to like for my mental health like I need to fix my mental health right now and like if I post I post but I can't like get stuck on thinking of like putting out content and just it also just wasn't feeling organic because I wasn't feeling like myself so

So it was kind of just like forced and then I would watch these videos and I'm like, I don't even look like happy right now. Like I think I don't know what happened. Maybe it's because I started taking a little bit more of my Lexapro, but I got out of my spout and really just like forcing myself to do things that are outside of the phone and social media and going and hanging out with my friends and being active and getting outside. Those things like all really, really helped me. And I think it is important at times to just

shut the social media off and go back to it whenever you're ready and in a good headspace. Hi, Alex. So I turned 21 soon and I invited two best friends to the bar next weekend to celebrate with me. They both just told me they don't want to go to the bar because they don't like a bar environment. That's totally understandable, but I feel like they're being selfish since it's my birthday and I'm just asking to go out one night. Or am I completely selfish for wanting them to come? I'm not sure what to say to them. What would Alex do? Okay, I feel like

I do understand a sense of, like, people not liking the environment of going out and not wanting to do it. And there's definitely times where, like, you're going out for people's birthday and you're like, oh, I don't really want to go out right now. But, like, it's my friend's birthday. So, like, we're doing this. I feel like, though...

It's not like you're asking them to up and leave their entire life and go move into a bar and camp out there overnight and get really wasted. But you just want to have your friends around you on your birthday. And I don't think that's a lot to ask. I honestly feel like if your friends are... It's okay for them to not want to go to the bar, but I feel like to the point of them saying, I don't want to go out. I just feel like, are these...

true good friends question mark question mark don't hate me but like I I understand them like not wanting to go out because there's definitely been times where I'm like damn I don't want to go out right now but like it's so-and-so's birthday but you kind of just suck it up because it's your friend's birthday and you go like I would never say to them like oof like I actually don't want to do that for your birthday um and I think just

Maybe they are you guys are just like really really close and maybe it's kind of the opposite of what i'm thinking where you guys aren't close Um, and they're not as good of friends and maybe you're just really really close and They have no problem being like hey bitch I don't want to go out because I do have friends like that too where it's just like you're just so brutally honest about everything but I think

if that is the case and you are really honest and be like, listen, I really, really want to go out. You don't have to stay that late. Like you don't have to drink, but like this is something I really want to do. I hope you guys can make it and assess from there. But my initial thought is kind of like, come on friends, suck it up. But I don't know. Love you. That's what Alex would do.

I will see you guys next Thursday for another episode. I'm really, really excited for our topic next week. We're going to get a little bit more serious and it's something that I've wanted to talk about for a while. So I'm really excited for next week's episode and I hope you guys enjoyed with me and Ashti today and our new setup and our new season. And I'm

I'm really really excited going forward we have a lot of fun stuff planned so don't forget to subscribe and follow this podcast love you guys and I will see you next Thursday bye wait did I just turn that off how do I get that back on I'm a hot mess