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Handsome Pod. Chatting to friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting to friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers.
Welcome to the handsome pod another great podcast coming your way. This is fortune fiendster. I'm Tig Notaro I'm Mae Martin and we're handsome. We are really handsome I'm not feeling very handsome right now. I'm feeling red from the gym Oh yeah, you went to the gym? Red from the gym. Yeah. Was this a hard workout day?
Yeah. No, no, I don't. I just sort of wander around. I do a little here, a little there. Make friends. Yeah. Make friends. Get red. Do you meet any romantic possibilities at the gym? Well, I feel like maybe on another episode I talked about the steam room incident with the very handsome man. But no, other than that, I just...
I'm just turning into my mom. Like I just get incensed with rage if someone kind of takes too long on a machine or like is being loud on their phone. Are you an irritable person? Do you have a high tolerance for fools? Fools. Fools. Do you suffer fools, Tig? You know, I had an experience today. I was driving and this guy stopped. It was a neighborhood street and I was behind him. He stopped in front of me.
did not use his blinkers, just was stopped in the road.
And we were not at a light. We weren't at a stop sign, just stopped. And I waited and thought, okay, I always assume there might be an animal or somebody walking in front of the car that I can't see. Or I think, oh, maybe they're on their phone. But that didn't really make sense with him because we were driving along. And then after a beat, nothing. And so I did a little toot toot of the horn. Yeah.
Not aggressively, but just, what is going on here? Yeah, like, hey, I'm behind you. Nothing still. So I decided I'd go around him. Well, guess what this fool did? Turned his car to the left to block me. What? Got out of his car and comes up to my window and starts screaming at me. Oh, my God. And I was telling Stephanie that it's that thing where you think...
And apparently he lived in the apartment building that he was going to turn left on, but he didn't have his blink. I didn't know what he was doing. Right. And so I was telling Stephanie that if I felt comfortable, I would have rolled the window down and been like, where is your blinker? Like, I don't know what you're doing. And also, what is your problem? But I just sat there in my car, like,
completely unfazed, staring at him while he was screaming at me. I can picture you just going, what is up, dude? Yeah, I was just looking at him like, okay, get your rage out. Yeah, that's like something else. For sure. You're just like, why is this coming out now? Yeah. But did your blood pressure go up? Like, were you scared? No, no. I was a little like, what?
what is he going to do? Cause I thought he can beat on the car or he can do whatever he wants. Yeah. He couldn't really do anything to me, you know? Yeah.
It is scary in this country, though, like to just avoid all conflict, I think. Well, that's where I could have had it escalate if I rolled the window down and started saying something. But I just sat there staring at him like, this is ridiculous. Get in your car. There's more and more road rage lately. And I was just like, people need to like talk things out. Mm hmm. Yeah. There's...
It's a lot of pent-up stuff happening. I wonder if there's something for cars to have some sort of gadget where if you decide to have it turned on and you're within range, you can talk into their car. Oh, that's such a good idea. Your voice just...
yeah, if it's another Tesla or something, your voice just comes in and you're like, what? You're like, I don't suffer fools. Or just even like, I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're doing. You don't have your blinker on. You know what I mean? Because everything is so... Having to get out. And the only way to communicate is so archaic. You're just honking. You're just like...
And that could mean anything. Pardon me, or I'm going to kill you. Yeah. Or you could replace the horn sounds with... Wait, how do you do it? Yeah, if you replaced all car horns with that, it would be a little less competition. That is less aggressive. But all those things that could be great for the world would be ruined by one gross man. Like voices going into cars would be so great. What are you wearing in there? Like flannel? Yeah.
Hey, that sounds sexy. You ever think about taking it off? Well, yeah, but I don't. Well, there's always a first for everything. I don't mind him. You don't mind him? No.
No, so far he's not too bad. Yeah, he's pretty reasonable. He's like, hey, yeah, it's kind of hot out today. Maybe take the flannel off. Take the flannel off. I just wanted to ask. So wait, Meg, you're a road rager at the gym, though, you and your mom. Yeah, I mean...
I mean, growing up, it was like if we went to a movie and someone was crinkling their candy, like my mom would take it upon herself to be the spokesperson of the rest of us. And she's right. We were all thinking it, but she would be the one to be like, excuse me. And she would always say something and it would be so humiliating. And now I am sort of becoming her, but
I try actively not to. But like last time I went home, my mom said, I have an enemy. I was like, oh God, who? And she said, the woman who works at the CBS, like the Canadian equivalent. And I was like, really? Like this poor, this woman who probably doesn't want to be there. And it was this older woman in her 60s. And my mom is just like, she's incompetent. I'm like, yeah, but you know, go to a different store. But she's like, I, she like plans everything.
how she's going to be with her, how she's going to ice her out. And she sort of relishes it, I think. I think it sort of motivates her. I have an enemy. I have an enemy. You don't seem like a very angry person, Fortune. No, I avoid confrontation at all costs. I'm like, whatever you need, that's fine. All right, I'm just going to do my thing. You do yours. I'll be over here singing professionally. Okay.
Do you think it would feel good to just freak out and punch a punching bag or something and primal scream? I don't get... I mean, I get angry, of course, but I don't feel like I have a lot of pent-up stuff that I need to punch out. That's good. I mean, not that I don't have those moments, but for the most part, I'm pretty chill. I can get a little moody occasionally. Like if I...
I'm tired or if I haven't eaten, I'll be cranky, but I'm not usually angry. -I would love to see your version of cranky and moody. I bet it's so sweet still.
Well, I'm just more like, okay, all right, let's go. Yeah. Kind of short, I guess. So what do you do when Jax has an issue that she would like to present? Because I can see Jax having an issue that she would like to present. She definitely does not suffer fools and will have no problem icing someone out. Yeah.
I mean, we don't fight a lot, but occasionally, like, when we do, I just... You just kind of have to dig into it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't avoid it with her. Just because I know we're in it to win it. So I try to be like... At first, I'm a little defensive, like...
God, like, no, I didn't do that. What does that mean? It turned into like a five-year-old. No. It's not true. Why do you do this?
That's great. And then once you get past the defensiveness, you can kind of like, all right. I did it. I did that. How was Australia? It was good. It was really nice. We were there for two weeks. I did seven shows out there. Lovely people. When you were walking down on the street, did you pause and think, this is where I first met Maeve?
I did think that our anniversary was in Melbourne. I can't believe they don't have a plaque on that corner. I know. We were walking down the street and you were behind us. It's been like six or seven years since I've been to Australia, so it's been a while. It was good. It was tiring, though. This is the first time I've bounced around to five different cities. Yeah.
I was in three different time zones. It was like, ah, it was a lot, but I'm glad I did it. Are you enjoying touring still? This goes for both of you. Yeah. Or do you ever feel like, oh, I need a break from it? I mean, I haven't stopped touring since basically everything kind of opened up with the pandemic. I'm a little tired. Yeah.
But it's like, yeah, I will want to break after this tour. But I'm kind of just full steam ahead. When does that wrap up? I'm going to extend this one longer than my last one. I think it probably will go till the fall of next year. Whoa. Fall of next year? Dude.
I'm hitting so many different cities that I've never done before. Canada, Europe, Australia. Doing a bunch of those things too. And as you're touring, are you writing and swapping things out and in or what? I have been doing that a little bit, but I need to dig back into the set. You're both a lot hardier than me. I think I have a fragile constitution. I feel like a Victorian child with consumption. I
I can't, I don't know. I can do like weekends here and there. And like, you know, I did a tour of the UK that was pretty intense, but I get tired. I got it. I like my routine. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's brave and cool. I'm getting a little more like that where I kind of went a little hard after the pandemic. And now I'm like, I got to
Wrap this up and hang out and talk about Pokemon. Yes, you have to talk about Scarmander. Mm-hmm.
They're like fire sign, water sign, air. Something sign and something else. I'm not, that's what I mean. You got to study up. Yeah, I got to. I feel like there's a lot of pressure nowadays to like film a special. More so than there was before. I feel like before people would wait like three years or something, four years in between. And now it's like,
gotta do another one, gotta do another one. And I'm like, that's so much output. Yeah. I don't write
to that extent. But I mean, who's pressuring you to do it? I don't know. I mean, I guess you just see people around you. You know, like peer pressure. No one's like saying, you have to do this, but you see other people churning it out. I see. Well, I text you every morning. I feel pressure, I guess, by that. I see. I hear you. Should we do one together where we say one word at a time? Like we do an hour of stand-up and it's like, hi, I'm...
So the audience would love that. Well, it's kind of like how the Sklar brothers are to some extent when they talk. It's like, it's really... Very rehearsed. And like filling in each other's sentences. Yeah, we could do that. You have to really memorize every beat. You're like, I don't think I could do that. Tag teaming with someone. We'd also have to change our name to the Sklar triplets. That's true. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Or the Sklar sister brothers. Yeah. Sister people. Sister people. Sister wife, spouses. I guess you could, soon do you think people will be just doing, nevermind. I was going to say about AI faces. Who cares? Yeah. Cut that out. Yeah.
I'm going to Montreal tomorrow and I have to do a 12 minute televised set and it's been so long since I've done 12 like tight minutes with
I'm such a rambler and I tell these long sort of sad stories. Yeah. I don't know. I sent over. And also when they ask for a script and you're like, Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Typing it out. Maybe I don't feel like doing this particular thing on the day. Exactly. Yeah. So when I've typed things out, I've gotten notes that it seems too short and I'm like, well, my pauses are long. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, you don't mind taking those beats. No, I don't. And you like relish in it. Yes, I do. You're like, this will take a good hour, this paragraph. This is actually me going long, so get an editor in place.
If you were to write out, like, say, the bit on Conan with the bar stool, it would be very short, written out. Well, I remember when the booking agent asked me to come do a set, I was like, oh, you know, I have these jokes, and then as the closer, I'm just going to push a stool around the stage for a few minutes. And he was like...
Was he just panicking? Well, he was just, he was confused, but he said, you know, I trust you. I just, I would like to see it because I can't quite picture what you're talking about. And I was like, okay. I said, you know, I've been...
kind of closing my shows with this so um and it works it's it's you know a little up and down but it works and so he came to see me uh push the stool around uh at the comedy store and uh and then he approved it but um it was so funny oh thanks i was like oh tig's still pushing that stool
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And then I pushed it off the stage and through, this is like from the road. - Yeah. - And I pushed it through the venue. I pushed it out the venue and then the audience came with me. - They did? - Yeah, I pushed it down the sidewalk across the crosswalk while there was traffic waiting. Oh yes.
while the traffic was waiting for me and the audience is cheering on the sidewalk as i push the stool across the street so wow that's oh my god the early days of the stool commitment right there i really want one day you're going to be stuck behind someone who's just stopped in the road and you get out of your car and there's someone just pushing a stool real slow call back yeah
Nicely done. I would bail on a lot of things and you commit so hard and that's what makes it amazing. Like the Indigo Girls bit, I'd be like, as soon as... Well, the Indigo Girls bit in my special is a truncated version. When I normally did that live, I did it for 30 minutes. Oh.
Oh my God. You're like, no, no, no, for real. Please welcome. It pained me to shorten that to 15 minutes.
But apparently their song, Closer to Fine, is all throughout the Barbie movie, which is exciting. Really? Yeah, I think, did Brandi Carlile re- She like sang it with her wife or something? Re-recorded it? Oh, I didn't know. I mean, I haven't seen the Barbie movie yet, so I don't know if it's like,
that version and then also the indigo girls version or if it's just brandy's version i'm not sure i don't know either but we should definitely speculate for a little while longer on here
Oh, man. I'm going to go see it. I'm excited to see it. Yeah. I auditioned for it to be a Barbie. Oh, really? And then obviously didn't get it, but they were like, oh, it got pretty far. And then I said, can I be a Ken? Can I audition for a Ken? And they said no. And I was like, call yourself progressive. I can just be you.
I think I'm not very good at auditioning in general. I'm not good at auditioning. A million percent, I'm not. I'm always like, can someone just offer me something? Thank you. I became offer only long ago, not because of success or being good, but because I was so bad at auditioning that I couldn't bring myself to humiliate anyone, including me anymore. And so...
long ago people would be like my reps you know she's offer only yeah i don't know that i've booked many things off of my auditions most of the things i've filmed have been offers i think if people can come and see you live then you're like isn't surely can that not be the audition like yeah you came to my show yeah i'm i'm no good you saw my stool pushing what else yeah
Well, with certain projects, you're like, can't you see that I could probably do that? Right. I've done these 10 other things. But it's, I mean, you've been on the other side of casting is so crazy. Like watching, I took a perverse joy in watching people audition and people coming in with their different energies and like how they, some people coming in with this kind of really transparent overconfidence, even though they're, you know, shaming.
physically shaking and I just loved it and seeing what the different things people do I love seeing people shake is that twisted I'm auditioning in front of Mae Martin today I'm freaking out but all auditioning is scary but people come in with such weird choices where they're like um is it okay if I drink milk for this scene I think my character would drink milk and you're like okay
Also, my character is lactose intolerant. So it's just, you'll see it pays off in the end. Hello. Well, I learned through this one casting experience that I was part of that really is a crapshoot sometimes. Like I remember watching an executive be like, oh, I don't really like their hair. Yeah. And you were like, what? And yeah.
And then you're like, that's the final straw? Yeah. Have you heard of haircuts or wigs? Yeah. It was just like really random things that we as actors think there's so much that goes into. And there is in certain parts, of course, but that like, oh, you know, if I had just done this or this, I'm like, sometimes it's just like you look like what they want or you don't. I think it's that a lot. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You either look like Barbie or you look like Ken. Oh,
We should all go see that dressed in pink. It's so hard to schedule stuff. We're all over the place, but that'd be so fun if we all went in pink suits. I do like a pink shirt. What about pink gowns for all of us? Yeah, pink gowns and tiaras. Gown, can you imagine?
I would do that if you two committed. Rolling up into Barbie. Or if you told me that and then it was a prank and you guys didn't wear it. In my pink gown. I have a pink suit that I wore on the Mindy Project that was...
this Barbie color. I wish I had it. I would escort you two to the Barbie movie. Well, why don't you give Mindy a ring-a-ding and see if you can get a hold of that pink suit. While you're at it, call Brandi Carlile and ask her about the details.
That's right. Fortune's over there rolling calls. Should we seamlessly transition into this? Yeah, for sure. All right. Well, you guys, we have a question from...
the lovely keenan thompson nice we all know and love from i've never met him i've never met him oh he's delightful oh yeah i was gonna say he seems like a delight yeah i i got to do his um sitcom his keenan sitcom with him and um
I had met him just in passing before at SNL and working with him. I was like, you talk about somebody who...
goes with the flow and does not seem to get worked up about anything. He is like, everything just falls right off his shoulders. Like totally easy going. That's so nice. Yeah. He's a good dude. Really sweet. Yeah. I just, I love him. Now say something, say something bad about him. Just for fun. I texted him. I was like, at Tom about this podcast. He's like, that's so cool. Oh my God. I love this. Tell everybody I said, hi. Yeah.
And so he sent us a question that I will play right now. Let's hear it. So here's a question. How long do you think it will be before we have a woman president? Do you think it will be under two election cycles or over two election cycles from now? So meaning like under eight years or over eight years?
I'm Canadian. Oh, so Mae is going to sit this out. I'm going to log off. I mean, listen, I wish we... I mean, I can't believe we haven't had that yet. I know. I wish we had it a long time ago. Excuse me. Bless you. Please keep that in. And that's why we can't have a woman president. Yeah.
If you get elected, you're going to be sneezing all the time in these meetings. And it just shows that you're fragile. And crying. Man, eight years would be crazy. But yeah, I guess, well, yeah, it could be that long, right?
I mean, it could be, the problem is it could be like 60 years from now before it happens, or it could be much shorter. I'm going with 16. Really? Yeah. I think we're 16 years out, sadly. It definitely, this last time showed how not ready a lot of America is.
is for that. Like you, people were like, yeah, I'm cool with women. And then you saw that, like everything written online. You're like, woof. Yeah. Are you? Yeah. I don't know. It is crazy how the rest of the world is. I mean, how many other countries have, have done it? Canada had a female prime minister, but only for a few months. Then she got her period. Yeah.
but yeah do you think people are still kind of triggered on some freudian level by women being in charge and it's like that basic that people are like stop nagging me to do things like my mom did like that it feels like like my there's um an amazing premier of scotland sounds right we don't know princess princess of scotland nicholas sturgeon
I remember like my family's super liberal and left wing and she's amazing. Nicola Sturgeon did so much good. Very progressive. And her name came up. My dad was like, ugh, I find her so annoying. And I was like, why? And he was like, I don't know. She never smiles. Like she's sort of
And so many men I know are like, "Ugh, Nicola Sturgeon." And she's just like, great. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Men are very, the whole women smiling thing really gets under their skin. - It's crazy. Yeah. - I'm not a real hit. - You hear that a lot of women, "She doesn't smile enough." You're like, "What?" - I know. - When people are smiling all the time, it's horrifying. - It's really sinister. - It is horrifying.
Yeah, they look like a kind of weather reporter. Like that fake kind of... No offense, weather reporter fans. No offense. Yeah, but then if they're too bitchy, that resting bitch face that you hear, they're like, well, she's me. It's like you can't really win is the problem. I know. I know. And they're just held to... I do believe women are held to a different standard. And there are a lot of men who I do believe feel like...
that you're somehow weaker i appreciate that you prefaced both of those points with i do believe i do believe yeah i haven't done the research but what i've seen myself yeah fortune i i do believe i do believe i do believe that is the truth it's infuriating i i
get like so worked up about it. As much as you get worked up about anything, as we mentioned earlier. Yeah, which is one of the things that gets me worked up for sure. That gets you slightly cranky, like your answers get a little curt. Yeah, I get it. Well, it's just annoying, the double standards, you know? It's like, really, are we still at this place where...
we're talking about these kind of things, but we are, unfortunately. Well, you know, Stephanie, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, please. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Um, Stephanie and I sold a movie to Netflix that was going to be me and Jennifer Aniston where she played the first female president and I was going to be the first lady. Yeah. Are they like, oh, we, sorry, we're not doing sci-fi right now. Um, you
Yeah, it was one of those projects that got just lost in the pandemic. It just got kicked to the curb. It would be so perfect. Yeah, I love that idea. The idea is my favorite movie. Like if anyone asked me to make a list of my 10 favorite movies, I'm still putting that on it because I know it would be my favorite movie. Oh my gosh, we were so excited about it. Yeah. Yeah, it just crumbled like so many projects do. You get so invested and excited. But that was one...
Actually, and I heard recently that Netflix has a new TV series coming out about...
the first gay male president that is um yeah interesting oh really yeah Shonda Rhimes has a tv show that's starting on Netflix that it's the gay male version of it but it's a tv show I don't know that it's the exact same thing but it's right it's still um you know and Jennifer Aniston's doing it in drag yeah
I would guess we would have a movie about a female president before we have an actual female president. I agree. I mean, like if they're banning abortion across the country, like why would we ever think that this population would trust a woman in charge of a country if they won't trust her in charge of her own body? Am I right, guys? Mate, calm down.
I got sort of bored of myself halfway through the sentence because it's like we know these things, but we've just heard them. So it's like banging. I saw a woodpecker when I was in Big Sur recently, and it was just banging its little head against this wall of, it was a side of a building. So it wasn't like it was going to be able to make anything in there, and it was just banging away. And that's what it feels like sometimes in the world. Now, was it banging its head or its beak? Yeah.
That's a really good distinction. If it had turned its head sideways and was just bashing its temple. I was going to say that's a different thing that was going on and I would have interfered. It's deranged, yeah. I tried to get the little bird some help. Yeah.
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Guys, I'm never in nature. Just a sidebar. I'm like, never in nature. And I know so many people have told me that they think I should be, that I really need that in my life. And then I went to Big Sur and man, it's those redwoods. And I went into the forest and then I was on beaches. Didn't like it. Hated it.
No, it was like magic. I could not believe how quickly. Yeah. And like my nervous system just chilled right out. I found an old dried up riverbed where the sand was like flecked with gold. Like that's it had, I think, real gold and like flecks of gold. Somebody's lying fortune. Yeah.
Yeah. I've not heard of this. One of the three of us is lying right now. There's gold in the water. Yeah, in the sand, right? Yeah, so it was like this old dried up in the kind of canyon. And I swear the sand was like shimmering with specks of gold. I mean, like maybe someone just spilled glitter, but it felt like... Maybe somebody spilled gold.
I was like, if there's actual gold, people in our country would have dug that entire beach up by now. Did you find a treasure chest nearby? Because oftentimes treasure chests wash up on beaches and it could have spilled out gold. You ever seen the Goonies? Hello. That's true. Yeah, it could have been just some dust from a treasure chest nearby.
nearby but i did um i was like making out in the not with the gold like in the riverbank or what not with the person i went with and then i look up after we're finished and and i see and she's beautiful she's covered in gold no uh i look up and there's like a family of wild deer like
30 feet from us, literally watching us hook up. But these beautiful deer and I was just like, nature's amazing. You're like boobies. That's what the deer were thinking. Nature's amazing. Look at this specimen. You're so right. Yeah. They're like our gold trap works. We lured these...
This sounds like a good trip into nature. Oh man, it was great. I saw bluebirds. Yeah. Anyway, highly recommend Big Sur. Yeah. Saw some boobs. Bluebirds and boobies. Boob birds. Do you find yourself in nature much, Fortune? Oh,
Not a lot. Not on purpose. You're not a nature person? I appreciate it and it's beautiful. Like, I've been to Big Sur a number of times and I've gone fly fishing in the middle of Alaska. It was one of my favorite trips I've ever taken. But I just don't, I'm not a big camper. Hmm.
I don't like camping that much. I like a hotel situation. Me too. Me too. But if I find myself in nature, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Tig? I feel like with kids, you end up in nature a bit more. Like you're just...
outside more well yeah and I also enjoy you know hiking and boating and all of that I before I became vegan I loved to fish loved to fish and in fact we've kind of reached this
One of our sons, since he was three, has been obsessed with wanting to fish. And our whole family is vegan. So this is a whole new conversation. And we try to teach them our thoughts, ideas, feelings about veganism and animal cruelty and all those things. But we also are trying to find the happy medium of...
When you say no with certain things and they want it more. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So... Yeah. And also maybe... I mean, because you'd throw the fish back. It's still cruel, I guess. Yeah. But maybe they would actually find it too intense and then they wouldn't want to do it again. Maybe let them do it and see how intense it is getting the hook out. But man, fishing is fun. They got to come up with like the way clay pigeon shooting. They just shoot clay up and you get to shoot that so you don't hurt a pigeon. Yeah.
lay fish or something. Just throw some fake fish in there. Yeah, throw some fake fish in a pond. Well, Stephanie has an idea which I probably shouldn't say on here because it's a vegan fishing pole idea that she has that she's invented and so I can't announce it here. Yeah, don't give away the patent. Yeah, but, well, we can edit it out but it's basically a f***.
Oh, that's cute. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. But yeah, I would say I enjoy the outdoors for sure. Yeah. I can't pretend like I am living...
you know, off the grid. No, not at all. Not in the slightest bit. Have you hugged a tree? Do you ever feel compelled to hug a tree? I have hugged a tree, but maybe I should do it again now that you mention it. Because all of those things of literally hugging a tree is
and lying on the ground and hugging the ground, lying in the sand, watching the water come in and out is supposed to really be healing. And I believe it. Yeah. You're going to Colorado, right? And yeah, nature. Yeah. Yeah. Get up in the mountain. It's all like scientifically proven to write like it's all Yeah, we need it. Yeah. Go up in Colorado and
I'll hug a tree for you. Yeah, hug a mountain. Yeah, hug a mountain. Yeah, who cares? I'll wrap these arms around a big old mountain. But, you know, female presidents and stuff. Oh, yeah, sorry. I did want to throw in this dilemma for you guys. Yes.
So it's one of those things where you're like, I'm this, but I'm also this, right? Barbie and Ken. It would be so cool to see a woman be president, right? Mm-hmm.
But there is a woman who is probably going to be running, but she's a Republican, Nikki Haley. So in that case, like, oh, it's cool. You know what I mean? It's a real like, ugh, what do you do? I'll still wait. I'll still wait. It's...
There's some bleep. Remember Sarah Palin? And you just don't, it would be such a shame if the first one was a sort of, with that creepy news weather reporter smile and, but wanting to kill everyone.
It made for some good content on Kenan's show, Saturday Night Live. Oh, yeah, Sarah Palin? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, who played Sarah Palin on SNL? That was Tina Fey. Oh, right, right, right. I can see Russia from my house. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. How is it that she really said that? That was the thing. I remember that election being the Republicans were like, oh, we're going to really... Mm-hmm.
Oh, we got it good. Mix it up here. Like we got the perfect plan. And then I remember when they announced her, I go, this is...
And then she started talking and you're like, oh, yeah. So like on paper, whoever's idea was, was pretty smart. But then it's just the person they picked was not qualified in any capacity. What is she doing now? Didn't she run for governor? And then didn't every kid in her family get pregnant? Yeah.
They've had a bit of drama over there in Alaska. I think she got divorced maybe. I don't know. Why would we fact check? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Let's say every kid in her family got pregnant. Yeah.
What if I revealed that that's who I went to Big Sur with? Sarah Payne. That's who you were seeing nature's boobs with? Yeah. And she was just teaching me all these incorrect facts about nature. I would love if she became, if she just like all of a sudden was like, I am a lesbian. I'd be pissed. I don't want her around me.
You know what the tricky thing about like whenever you have a conversation about what it would be like to have a female president or something like that, it's like because it's
I just read this book called The Gendered Brain about basically reiterating that biologically there's no difference between our brains and cis men's brains and that it's all socialization and that socialization can alter your hormone levels and stuff and affect biology. But it's like, yeah, so really there should be no difference between... What am I saying? I don't know. I just... We're all ears. I know. And then I panicked.
Anyway, read that book. It's pretty cool. You're saying based on that science, there should be no difference in how someone would approach politics, right?
brain wise. But there would be because of how we're all socialized, right? Well, like empathy and stuff is different based on socialization probably. Totally. Does politics, does that appeal to either of you? Do it? In any capacity. I mean, before the 2016 election, I was pretty current on a lot of things. I would read the news often and
have a good sense of what was going on. But after that election, it was so toxic, I kind of had to stop following it as closely. And now I kind of pop in and out of it. But...
But also it's so many politicians now want to be famous that they will do and say anything to the detriment of people. And it just is so, ugh. It's very bleak. It's so gross now. It must be so important now for teachers and stuff to...
try to make kids not feel totally hopeless and overwhelmed because if I have thrown up my hands as well and I'm totally not as informed as I should be just because I'm like what's a joke it's like all yeah but you can't if everyone has that attitude we're in real trouble like I you know around election time I post
I post a lot and go to things, but yeah, I really am not up to date. And do you feel like people in Canada have thrown their hands up as well? Or do they feel like they feel like we, we feel solid over here? It feels like there's still some semblance of like sanity. I met Justin Trudeau. Did I, have I talked about that? Yeah, I met him and, um, you know, he's so hot and, uh,
All of my friends were, because I thought, because I've been living in England for 12 years, and I thought, Justin Trudeau, we all love Justin. Like, he's a kind of sane world leader with, you know, pretty reasonable views. But all my friends were like, oh, you're meeting Justin Trudeau, you got to hold him accountable for all of his broken climate promises and things like that. I was like, oh, fuck. And I started reading about it. I was like, yeah, he has been pretty disappointing. And then...
So they'd arranged this meeting for him to meet a bunch of people, including me. So I'm lined up and he's coming down the line. And it was like seeing Tom Cruise, like his magnetism. And when he arrived and turned his attention on me, every thought went out of my head. I became like a blushing school child. And I was like, I said the phrase to him, your legacy will be great.
I don't know why I said that. I don't even believe that. And I said, thanks for legalizing weed. And he went, well, yep. Thanks for legalizing weed. Your legacy will be great. I don't even smoke weed. And he was like, yeah, that seems to be the thing that's captured people's imagination. And then as he was leaving, I kind of touched his elbow and went, your legacy will be great. And then in the picture of me with him, my eyeballs are bulging out of my head. And
And then all my friends were like, yeah, what'd you say to him? Did you ask him why he's... I held him accountable. Let me tell you. Did you ask him about the tar sands and the oil? And I was like, no, well, he's pretty hot, so...
I gave him a pass. Yeah. He has something. He's really... I picture, you know, those really important quotes through history. And then it's like Albert Einstein. Yeah. Yeah. I picture that for you as well. It's going to be on shirts and on bumper stickers. Your legacy will be great. I mean, this is a guy who... May Martin.
That's on par with Bill and Ted's, like, be excellent to each other. It's so stupid. And he is... I just sort of forgot that he's kind of... He is a little bit of a laughingstock a little bit. And those pictures came out of him in brownface. And then he apologized and was like, yes, I... You know, it was a long time ago in university. But then he said something like, I have several times done that. Like, he's done it a bunch of times, which is...
Yeah, but in terms of world leaders, you're so pathetically grateful for someone who's just sane and has some level of empathy. He's always marching in the pride parade, and he's done a lot of great things too. I mean, I don't know much about her actual politics, but I was always enamored with Jacinda from New Zealand. Arden? Arden? But she bailed. Arden?
uh she just yeah she's done now but she was always pretty charismatic i was amazing i was like can we get one of those yeah and you know who was really great and this is years ago not a president but the governor was anne richards in texas she her daughter is uh cecile richards oh for planned parenthood yeah but anne richards man
She was on the cover. She was probably like 70 years old. The cover of Texas Monthly Magazine on a Harley. What? Yeah. And like a beehive. And then a full white motorcycle.
you know, leather motorcycle outfit. And, um, I mean, she was just, I, I lived in Texas when she was governor. And, um, in fact, Holland Taylor did a, a one person show about Ann Richards. And it was, I always wanted to see her play. Yeah. I never got to, I didn't see it live, but I watched it on PBS. Oh,
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought it was on PBS. It was so good. And Holland wrote the whole thing. Oh, really? Yeah. That's amazing. Holland would be, it has a presidential quality. She should be president. Absolutely. But it's, I feel like any person that would inspire us doesn't want that job now. Right. Like it attracts. Yeah. Yeah.
So that's the hard part. It's like, who wants to deal with it? And does power corrupt? And like, yeah, maybe that's what I was trying to get at before about the gendered brain is like, if it was all a matriarchal society, would that power eventually, like, would there be just as many wars and stuff? Because we would... I don't know. Do you think the rock will be president before a woman is president? Yeah.
Probably. I think that's possible. I think he'd do an all right job, to be honest. Yeah? I heard that that's why he doesn't have crazy sex scenes in any of his movies. Like, he's kind of asexual. Even when he kisses someone in his movies, often it's like the back of his head. It's really interesting. Huh. And I think it's because his team wanted him to run for president one day, and so they're trying to keep him. Are you serious? Yeah. I read an article about it. I have not ever heard that, but...
- No. - Now I'm gonna go watch all of his movies. - Where did you read this? - Well, I can't even imagine. - The Rock Daily. - Can you imagine if your rep sat you down and said, "Listen, we want you to consider running for president, "and so any sex scenes or kissing, "we want all camera angles to be coming in from behind." - Yeah, I wouldn't have that foresight. - No. - I don't know if I'd ever stop laughing.
It would be like when people came to you, Tig, and said, we want you to be on Real Housewives. I still think about that maybe happening, you and Stephanie being on Real Housewives of LA. Yeah. Wait, was that a conversation? Yeah. It just would have been incredible seeing you surrounded by this chaos. You would just be like, what's going on here? Yeah.
As I am in every situation. It is the metaphor of the guy screaming at you and you just going, what? It's like you on Housewives. All these fights and you just like sipping water in the background going, what? I don't know what's happening, but... There'd be like a restaurant scene and some woman like flips a table over and they're screaming. You just pan over and you're just dragging a stool. And I'm hugging a tree. Yeah, hugging a tree and dragging a stool. Yeah.
Well, I'm going to take my stool right out of here. Should we hear what Kenan has to say? Yeah, let's hear what Kenan said. My answer, I think it will be under. Oh, okay. Very confident about that. So he's thinking in the next eight years, there might be a woman president. He doesn't sound thrilled about it. But...
It sounds like he kind of dozed off. Like, oh yeah, I gotta answer this question. And then someone tapped him and he was like, ah, eight years. Yeah. Under, under eight years. Who was that? Well, Hillary Clinton tried. She got, you know, as close as anyone's gotten. Yeah. And that didn't happen. I think she's probably...
I don't think she's going to do it again. Did any of you... Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead, Mae. No, you go. I was just going to ask if anybody threw a party when those results were coming in for Hillary or attended a party. No, I stayed at home because I was like, I can't face...
Whatever is about to happen. Okay, because we were, like so many others, confident she was our next president. And we threw a party. And we had little... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's so sad. Like, had cookies and everything. Just we were ready to... I mean, that's the sign of a good party, you know? You got cookies. And we have pictures of the beginning of the night.
Oh, no. And we have pictures at the end of the night where everyone was lifeless. Yeah. Just lying there stunned. You're like, history is about to be made. Glass ceiling is getting broken, baby. And you know there was a glass ceiling ready to be broken? Oh, really? I don't think I knew that. She had a glass ceiling that they were going to shatter. Yeah. Symbolically? Yeah. And then...
It was not broken. It was just removed. The ceiling remains. Oh my God. They just gently put it away. I was hopeful, but I had toured so much and seen so many tragedies
Trump signs that I was, I was not as much in the bubble as everybody else. I was like, yes, same fortune. I remember telling people, I was like, I don't know. I think he's gonna, I think he's gonna win. I mean, of course I was hopeful and people thought I was crazy, but I do think crazy too. I was like, you guys have been out there. Yeah. I'm in all these towns and all these cities and I'm telling you, yeah, it's not what you think. Yeah. Put the glass ceiling away. Yeah.
I was in England and I remember having to do a comedy show that night and showing up and expecting everyone to be like, all the comics are there. I think all dudes. And I was like, well, obviously we're all depressed. And they were like, what? Why? I was like, just because.
and they were like, oh, right. Like it wasn't on their radar even. I said, this is bad for the world. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the glass ceiling remains. And Nikki Haley probably, I mean, I think she'll end up running whether or not she gets the nomination for their party. I'm not sure. And then there's, I don't know if like anyone like AOC would ever consider it. I'm not sure who.
in the Democratic Party. I loved Elizabeth Warren. Mm-hmm. I mean, I don't know her, but I don't know her personally. I've met her. You have? She seemed good to me. She had some momentum and then it got deflated pretty quick. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know what it takes to get to that. Maybe we just got to get Jennifer Aniston to just run for president. Oh, we need the PR team behind the Barbie movie. Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Aniston. I will say, whoever came up with the marketing for Barbie, they definitely should run the next campaign. Completely. Because Barbie was...
I'm inundated. Every airport, every restaurant in Australia and New Zealand and back here. I was like, whoever's in charge of this, they need to get hired for many things. I read that all these people have been complaining that when they're watching the Barbie movie, they can hear in the adjacent theater the atomic bomb going off in Oppenheimer. Oh.
And they're like, it's really bumming us out. Because it's so loud and Christopher Nolan-like explosive, but...
That is hilarious. A weird cultural moment that it's like, guys, Barbenheimer weekend. Yeah. Like, Barbenheimer. Well, maybe Barbie is paving the way for our next female president. Yeah, it was like the biggest grossing movie of the year for sure. Well, we'll see what happens. No one can predict the future, but obviously we would like to see that happen at some point. What? A female president or someone predicting the future? Ha ha.
A female president. Both. I want to see a lady in charge. Yeah. Okay. Big time. And we're all going to sync up. Boom. Well, this has been a lovely chat podcast. A lovely chat with you guys. Can't deny it. Thank you, Kenan. Yeah, thank you, Kenan. For your question. Thanks, Kenan. And for your optimism for a woman in charge.
May, do you have anything you'd like to promote? Always love to promote. I will be at Largo in Los Angeles on the 13th with amazing guests like Nicole Byer and Meg Stalter and Stephanie Allen and Alana Johnson. And then also on the 16th and 17th, me and Stephanie Allen and Alana are doing our long form weird improv show at the Elysian Theater. And there's still tickets left.
Fortune, do you have anything to promote? Yes, may. I'm currently on tour coming to lots of cities like this weekend in San Antonio, Texas and New Orleans. Then coming up, I've got places like Spokane, Boise, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Oakland, California, Evansville, Indiana, Dayton, Ohio, and Charleston, West Virginia. Fortunefeimster.com for tickets.
Tig? I will be in Torrington, Connecticut, September 15th. Rochester, New York, September 16th. Wilmington, Delaware, September 17th. Colorado Springs, September 25th. Breckenridge, Colorado, September 28th.
And I will be doing a European tour in October. Check my website for all information. And then I'll be back in the States October 28th, La Crosse, Wisconsin. And then finally, November 4th, Brooklyn, New York, King's Theater for my next special taping. Thanks for listening to The Handsome Pod. And keep it handsome. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
handsome is hosted by me may martin tignotaro and fortune feimster the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod