Episode 181: Ed Mylett – Global Entrepreneur, Best Selling Author, Top Podcast Host, and TV Host
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all orders $100 or more using the code HUSTLE20 until August 30th, 2022. So definitely run, don't walk and scoop some up now. Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Today on Habits and Hustle, we have the one and only Ed Milet.

Ed is one of the fastest growing business personalities on social media today. He is an American entrepreneur and a peak performance expert.

And his newest book is called The Power of One More. And it is fantastic. If you're somebody who wants to up your game, he is not only the guy for you, but this book is a must read. I had an amazing conversation with Ed. He is just as lovable and kind and nice as I heard he was. And that was really nice to see.

And he gave us a lot of great little nuggets of gold, I guess, to really kind of help integrate into our lives, to really be the best versions of ourselves. Ed, obviously, he also has a podcast. He also has a new show, actually, called... I think it's on a network called Noisy. And I hope you enjoy this episode because...

It's a good one. I really think you're going to enjoy it. And it is called nosy, by the way. So check it out. First of all, I wanted to know how you even kind of evolved and morphed into the whole personal development, self-esteem kind of self-help area from having that background. And the also the part of that question is having that success. What was that one skill that you really honed to be able to even have that success initially? Yeah, that's really what

Yeah, they're connected, actually. So the personal development stuff happened just to become a functioning person. I grew up, as you know, I grew up the son of an alcoholic and I was small when I was little, bullied a lot in school. I had no self-esteem whatsoever. None.

And so for me getting into personal development and learning how to build self-confidence, I had to do it just to become a baseline functioning human period. And once that happened, it sort of became an addiction, you know, like, wow, I'm now I'm not, I don't completely think I'm terrible. I think I'm somewhat terrible. Then I'm, you know, then I'm average then. And it grew to where like, well, this stuff works. So,

That was the first reason I did it. And I'd be like most things I have an obsessive, having been a son of an alcoholic, I have that same addictive personality. Frankly, I just pointed it towards healthy things. And so the same gift was given to me with my dad's alcoholism. When I was a little boy, I,

You know, like five years old, I had three little sisters and a mom and I had to know who was coming through the front door at five. So as a little boy, I would get to the front door and hear my dad's car pull up and I had to know if it was drunk or sober dad. And so I could learn to be present and read people like you could not believe at five, because if he came through the door, I would be reading his eyes, his hair. How was he walking? How was he? It actually got to the point where I could tell by the sound, the key made in the front door.

whether he was drunk or not. And if he was drunk and I'm talking five years old, I'd say, mama, go take a shower and Mimi, get the other sisters upstairs and I'll be down here with him. And my dad ended up getting sober. It's a redemptive story, but

I learned to be present and read people as a little boy. And then the second thing I learned how to do was communicate. I could talk him out of that state. Daddy, you know, I'd grab his hand. I got a 93 on my spelling test. You know, I hit a home run in baseball that you did really? Oh, I was your, well, not as bad. And I could get them away from the liquor cabinet. You're talking about as a five-year-old little boy. And so I say all the time that on the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self.

If you can survive the temporary, the pain you're going through, whether that's a relationship or finances or just not feeling great about it. If you can survive the temporary, because everything's temporary, you can survive it. You'll get introduced to your other self. And for me, the pain as a child, I got introduced to these two skills I've used to make hundreds of millions of dollars, which is I am not great at a lot of things, but I am good at being present with people and reading them and them sensing that.

And then I'm also a pretty good communicator. And both of those were born out of the same exact thing, which is also what caused me to get into personal development, ironically. Right. Well, because you have the skill where it's like you are such a great communicator. And what you say, the way you communicate to people that from what I've seen and know about you and for what I actually listen to is that you're so good at not just giving motivation, but you're inspiring people to take action and execute.

Which is the hardest part, right? People can be inspired, like watch a quick clip of somebody and then they're all rah, rah, rah. And then like, whatever, like a day or two later, they're not doing anything about it. It wears off. Like my favorite book before I wrote my book is Think and Grow Rich. Oh, I love that book. I know you talk about it in your book. Yeah.

You talk all about it in the power of one more. Yeah. Oh, you put my book up. Thank you. So I, of course you're on my podcast. Thank you. Thank you. I love this book, but you don't just think and do anything. You have to think and do things. And so it's just a flawed concept. The fact of the matter is there's things you have to do. So the question becomes, what do I need to think and what do I need to do in congruency when I lock those two things together that produce results? And so that's sort of how I teach everything I do. It's what do you need to think? And I try to take,

you know, super complicated concepts and distill them down to actionable things you can do that you don't even need to understand why it works. So I don't have the need when I walk in a room to be the smartest person in the room. I want to be the most effective person in the room. So I'll take things like the second chapter of the book, as you know, is about

the reticular activating system in your brain, which is in your prefrontal cortex. I could get all neuro on you, but the bottom line is it's your filter that reveals the world to you. And to the extent that you can program that to see the things that you want to see is to the extent that you're going to be successful. Perfect example, really quick is I just, a perfect example of your RAS at work is

I've been impressed with Musk lately, like Elon Musk. Like, just this dude's making moves. I don't know whether he really- Lately? I mean, he's been like- Well, no. Well, lately because I'm 51, right? But also because, like what he was doing with Twitter. I don't know that he ever really was going to buy Twitter. He wasn't going to buy it. I don't think so either, right? You're just fucking around with these people. Right. He stirred the whole world up right now. All about their bots.

and we know about what a scam it is and you know like totally exposed it but the point is i'm like i told my team i said you know what i'm gonna get me a tesla so i get this tesla i didn't really want one but i got one and i drive it everywhere now and now every freaking where i go i see teslas it drives my wife nuts i'm like babe red tesla white tesla three lanes over other side of the freeway i'm like black tesla she's like what the hell is wrong with you they were always there but i didn't see them before

because they weren't important to me. Now they're part of my RAS. I see them freaking everywhere. It's so true. The matrix, you talk all about this in the, and it is the matrix, you know, the red pill, the blue pill, but it's a hundred percent true. And it's how your life works. So the, the, the hook is,

Can the Teslas become your prospects? Can the Teslas become your goals, your ambitions, the emotions you want? Can you begin to see they're always there? What I don't see right now are Mercedes. I don't see Toyotas because they're not important to me, right? So we see what matters most to us.

And so if you can program the right things to matter to your RAS will see, hear and feel things that were always in your circle that you're missing because they're not part of your RAS. That's what separates successful and unsuccessful people is what they can see, feel and hear.

So what's the first step to that? Because I did it. Isn't it first, like you're saying like the self-confidence, but you took your, your background and with your father has been such an obvious prevalent piece of your whole entire existence, but you made it, you made your, you made it as fuel to be successful and you learned your behavior patterns from something terrible and made it work for you become very resourceful. Like the key. Was it the fact, by the way, was it that when he was,

opening up the door, if it took longer than it should, did you know that's how you knew who was running? Right, right. So if the key went real smooth, he was sober. If the key struggled to get in the locker, it took him a minute to open it up. I knew who was coming through that door. Right. That's amazing. Yeah. And now I know with human beings within about five minutes, I think I'm pretty good. Not always, but I'm pretty good at knowing what they need. You know, one thing about energy is you're always making people feel something. The reason your show is so successful is

Is that you maybe it's unconscious, but i've watched you enough in preparing for this you really Make people feel certain things particularly your guests your guests get very comfortable They feel honored by you your preparation level gives them a level of respect And so most people are unaware. You're always making people feel something. That's so nice of you Did you really watch my show? Yeah, I have several of them. Yeah, I did and I gotta tell you um

Your preparation level to me is the highest sign of respect for somebody. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know this. You've done shows. I've done shows. You're like, did you even look at my book? Do you know? Totally. You know what I'm like? Why are you doing this? Right? Like if you're going to do something, be great at it. But my bigger point is you're always making people feel something. So why not be intentional about

about what they're feeling. Like most people are just oblivious. Every room, a server in a restaurant, everyone you interact with, you're making them feel something. Do they feel seen? Do they feel valued? Do they feel respected? Do they feel attractive? Whatever it might be. Or do they feel invisible, offended, slighted, you know, scared, right? And so I'm just really intentional about how I make people feel and what my energy is. I'm really conscious of it.

Do you think people can learn that skill or is it something that either they have to have had an experience where it kind of brings it out in them to be able to do that or it's innate in them? Because not everybody has that skill.

Right. To do that. It's very difficult. I think some people are born with a natural intuition, nurturing ability. You know, they're I think women have it more naturally than men. I mean, I don't know. Nothing's gender specific, but I just think I think in general, yeah.

women are more in tune with people's feelings and emotions than maybe men are because, and that might be nature or maybe nurture versus nature. I don't know, but I do think it can be learned because I teach it and I learned it and I've had a lot of people teach it, but you're exactly right. I had dinner. I won't say with who, but a very, very well-known person who we both wanted to get to know each other. And that person was in town this last week.

And we've sort of been- - Who was it? Come on, tell us. - I can't say 'cause it's not a compliment, but I can say that when we met, I was just blown away by their, they were completely oblivious to how they made people around them feel. And probably they'd become so successful that they lost the concern about it, you know, because other people are always giving them energy. But it was really one of these things, I was like an hour into the dinner, which ended up being a four hour dinner, and to be candid with you, I wish I wanted to leave.

About an hour into it, I was like, this is not what I want to be doing right now. And it's not that they weren't interesting because they were super interesting. I just don't think they made everyone around them and where we were feel what those people were worthy of feeling.

Interesting. And that's at the end of the day, that's what people crave the most, right? Like they want to be seen and they want to be heard and they want to also feel the it's all about the energy. But you that's what I think that's your that is your secret sauce, though, for your success, in my opinion, you know, like, you're able to pick up on that energy and like what someone needs and give it to them in a way that they can understand and it resonates with them.

Yeah, I think that's certainly one of them. I mean, there's other things that make people successful. I'm an incredibly competitive person, really, really driven. I'm addicted to growing. I have this really deep belief humans can change because I watched my dad. When you watch the first 15 years of my life, alcoholic, didn't live well, all the things that come with being an alcoholic as a husband and a father, I'm sure came with those things with my dad.

And to watch a human change in the next 35 years with just really one decision that my dad made. That's why it's The Power of One More. I love that reason. Can you tell people that? Talk about the story because I think that is so impactful. The reason why the book is called The Power of One More. About your dad. Well, my dad had been drinking for years and had tried to get sober before. And we're driving to, I'm about to turn 15.

And by the way, it's a really funny story because my dad got sober on 420. Only my dad would get sober on 420, right? You don't know what that means. Google it, right? But we're driving to a baseball game of mine. I never seen my dad cry before ever. I seen my dad in a bunch of fights, but I never seen him cry.

And my dad's crying, driving, and he won't look at me. And I'm like, what is going on with daddy? And so he finally pulls over and he still isn't looking at me and he's looking forward and he goes, Eddie. And then he finally looks at me and makes eye contact. He goes, I'm going to try to quit drinking. I'm never forget this one more time. And I said, dad, we'll be any different this time. Now we're both crying. And he said, well, I'm going to lose you and your sisters and your mom. Your mom's taking my family.

And you deserve a husband. Your mom deserves a husband she can respect. Your sisters deserve a dad you can be proud of. And so do you. And he says to me, I'm going to give it one more try. And there's a chapter in the book called One More Try because I've done that in business thousands of times. I've almost quit a million times. I used to say, I just won't quit for one more day. And I don't make decisions. I'm never going to quit. That's a lie, right? By the way, and the decision is so big, you won't make it. But if you're really on your backs up against the wall in a relationship or in business, sometimes it's like, I'm just not going to quit for today.

I'm just not going to quit for today. And then when my dad came back from being sober, I said, daddy, are you never going to drink again? And he goes, I can't promise you that. I'm just not going to drink for one more day at a time. And he stacked that up over 35 years and helped thousands of other people get sober and helped one more person. So the principle of the book is that you're one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one emotion, one podcast, one book,

away from potentially changing your life. You've already proven that if you're happily married, that one decision changed your life, the birth of your children, if you have children, that changed your life. So we're true. And then the other part of the one more, there's another dual meaning, which is that in order to build self-confidence, what I learned was I had to learn to keep the promises I made to myself because self-confidence is a relationship or reputation with oneself. And so I started stacking up little things like I'm going to drink

a gallon of water every day, which I'm holding a half a gallon right now. I'm going to get up at a certain time. I started stacking these small promises and then I could point my mind at the big ones because I had a relationship and reputation with myself that I do what I say I'm going to do. Then when I got there, I figured out, well, that's baseline.

What's the difference between winning and losing? What's the difference between success and failure, happiness and sadness? And it's so small. It's like scary to think about. It's scary to talk about the difference. You all know this. Like some of you that are winning, you're like, man, it was so small. And I'm like, what's it? What is the small? And I figured it out. It's one more.

If I say I'm going to get up and make 10 contacts a day in my business, if I keep those promises, I build self-confidence. If I do one more over time, I become superhuman. If I'm going to do 10 reps on the bench at the gym, if I do that, I build confidence. I build a good body. If I do 10, but I always do one more. If I do 45 on the treadmill, plus one more minute, always. If I tell my daughter I love her every day, plus one more time. The difference is one more. It's so small. It's stupid. It's scary to think about.

But I'm proof in my life that both these one mores matter. And I'm right about it. I know I'm right about it. I've proven I coach some of the top people in the world. I am in some industries the top person in the world. And it's not because I'm gifted. It's not because I come from an amazing family with great genetics or pedigree. It's because of one mores.

I love that. It's so true. I always do one more rep at the gym. And I always like, if I'm running, I always do. If I say 45 minutes, I'll go to 46 because it's just all the time. That's like my whole, that's one of my entire philosophies in life. And you know what? You've got to look at my Instagram today because I did a whole thing about promises to yourself. And you just literally said exactly what I posted today. Yeah.

Yeah, which is really funny. And I think it's so true. Can you give us an example of something in business that that one more, like maybe recently that you because you didn't give up and you gave one more try? Okay, what is it?

I'll give it to you as a guy that I just played golf with because it's, it's not me, but I got a bunch of my own, but I think this one's even, this one's like magnified, like you can't even believe. So there's this, I belong to this club. It's, there's only 150 members and everyone, you know, everyone from Tom Brady to Ellen DeGeneres, Adele, the Kardashians, Chris Jenner, John Elway, you name it, they're all members there. And, um,

It's a really unique place. And Tim Cook, who runs Apple, Phil Niter runs Nike. It's crazy. What's the place? What's it called? I don't know if I can say the Madison Club. It's in La Quinta, California. Oh, OK. The Madison Club. So I get asked to play golf with this guy for like a month and I don't really want to do it because I know he's kind of a fan. And I'm like, I don't want to spend five hours talking about me. I already know about him.

So I get to the first tee. I meet the guy. He's like, oh, Ed, my lad, I can't. I'm going to pick your brain for five hours. I said, brother, that ain't how I roll. I already know everything I know and I know my stuff. I want to know about you. And that's what I mean by one of my skills. I want to be present. I want to know how you ended up here because he's got a similar net worth to me. And he goes, well, I can tell you it on the first tee box. We don't even need to play. I said, well, give me the give me the story.

He goes, 1986, I loaned a guy 50,000 bucks. I made the decision. One decision, one loan, 50,000 bucks. I got some equity. My best friend did the same loan. A week later, my best friend gets cold feet, asks for the money back. The guy gives him the money back. I go, no, I'll keep it. I'll take my equity. The 50 grand turned into $750 million. Because that one decision, that one event, that one financial transaction changed my life. I go, that's the power of one more. I said, who'd you loan this money to?

He says, Jeff Bezos. I said, you got to be freaking kidding me. So that's the ultimate one more. It's not mine, but I was just told it not that long ago. That's a really good one. That's a really good one. That's extreme, right? That's extreme. But I've had a bunch of those one mores, not to that extent. I've more been like stacked up one mores.

In my life. That's an amazing story though. When, when is it then, is there ever a time then when you've given it one more, one more, one more, and it's time to say, you know what, this isn't working. Let's move on to something else. At what point do you decide to do that then? That's more art than science, right? That's not a formula for it, but the answer is yes. But most of the time for me, it's not completely pulling the plug. I'm trying to think of a time where I pulled the plug. Um,

Yeah, there's been some business deals where I've just pulled the plug on doing them. But for me more, it's usually I've gathered more information. I need to pivot and adjust. Yeah. So it's more like it's still moving vertically, but I'm going to make an adjustment. And for me, yeah, there's a lot of those. And by the way, I consider those healthy one mores. Like I right now, we may be entering a recession. In fact, I think we probably are. You know, I'm not a financial expert, but my friends that are telling me we're probably being in. Is that going to make me pivot and adjust in some of my businesses? Yeah.

You know, absolutely. It blows my mind how, listen, I say in the book, there's two types of people. This is for happiness and success. 99% of the population. I just said this to Mel Robbins. She's like, this has changed my whole life. So this may sound simple, but it's not. 99% of the population operates out of history and memory. That's their frame of reference in their life, right? 1% operate out of imagination and vision.

And you're talking about 99 in one. And so most people, they get to a certain point in their life and it's early where they just start operating out of history and memory. This could be emotions. Same emotions. I talk about this in the book. You know, you're one more emotion away. They just operate out of these same patterns, same history, same memory all the time. 1% don't. They operate out of vision and imagination. When you're a kid, you're happier. Why? Because you don't have a history and a memory.

You operate out of imagination at some point. And it can be early. It can even be 10, 12, 15 years old. You start operating out of that. So in business, I'm always reminding myself I'm operating out of vision and imagination, not history and memory. Because history and memory will cause you to stay in a business way too long. Stay in a deal way. Stay in a relationship way too long. Stay in anything. And so I'm always in the vision imagination mode. Rarely.

Am I in history? And this is an important thing about associations. Everyone always talks about, well, you got to be around the right people. You're the likes, the sum of the five people. I mean, like who has not said this, but how do you know if they're right? Well, if they're toxic, they're bad. That's pretty basic. Yeah. But here's one way to know this is something I don't think has ever been said before. So I wrote the book. I listen to the people that I'm around.

And if most of the people you're around most of the time are going, remember when? You remember. Remember that party? Remember that thing? Remember that deal? Remember? You remember. Come on. You remember. Right? That's what most friends do when they get together. Right? You are surrounding yourself with history and memory people. And you're going to keep operating in that space. I can tell you, most of the people I mentioned earlier that I name dropped, okay, they have the best histories of all time. And you can barely get them to talk about it.

Because when you're around them, it's like, what do you got going right now? Where are you heading? They don't want to talk about some touchdown they threw six years ago or their old TV show or some business they used to run. They're talking about, hey, this is what I got going right now. This is what it's going to look like in the future. And these are the people with the best histories and memories. You almost have to force them, including me, to talk about history and memory.

So that's why they're powerful associations because they're projecting into the future and being present as opposed to being in the past. Most of your friends are all about, you remember when we went to the beach? Remember that concert? You remember. You remember that thing? Remember Dave? You remember this? It's like...

Man, like, okay, we already did all that. But the people you're around keep forcing history and memory on you as opposed to imagination. When's the last time you and your friends were like, hey, what are you on right now, man? What are you working on? Where are you going? How's it going to feel? What's it going to look like? What are you excited about?

That's pretty rare in most friends. And that's when they're the good ones. That's such a true point. People do live in the past so much, which then disrupts them from living either in the present or in the future, right? Like that is most people. Yes. We move towards what we're most familiar with. Always. If we're familiar with certain thoughts, we move towards them. Certain emotions, we move towards them. Certain memories, we move towards them. Familiar is a safe spot.

Right. The unknown, even though we all know this, get out of your comfort zone, drop all that stuff. This stuff is so cheesy. OK, here's the bottom line. You gravitate towards what's familiar. And if what's familiar in your mind are emotions that don't serve you, are memories instead of what's familiar in your mind, is your vision, is your you have to have. Listen, most people, I don't talk about this enough. They don't want a jet. OK, I've had five of them.

And you would like to have one, trust me. But you don't want a jet. You want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want millions of dollars. You want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want to be fit and shredded and look great and have great energy. You want how that'll make you feel. The relationship, you want how it'll make you feel. But we're in a culture starting about 100 years ago with all these books that said set goals for stuff.

And I have a whole chapter on goal setting. But even if you're great at it, you'll get 25% of your goals. But you're always going to get your standards. Long term, you're going to get your standard. Your standard needs to be one more. I'm so glad you said that. Can we talk about the difference between a goal and a standard? Because that is so true and important. Yeah. That's a big one. Your goal is a physical thing you want. To wrap up the part about the emotional part, I'll just say this to you.

One of these things will make you feel. We have an entire culture of people who are unwilling to actually have the goal be the emotion.

which you could access anytime you want. I found in my life, the more focused that I got on the emotional goal I wanted, which was ecstasy, joy, passion, peace, whatever it was, the physical manifestation was a byproduct of it. But most people just focus on the thing instead of how it'll make them feel. And so even when you set the goal, if you can't get it to make you feel a certain way, you're going to continue to miss the goal. But if you can physically do it, you can feel the emotion in your subconscious mind, which is your body. You

you begin to manifest it. Standards, on the other hand, are completely different than goals. Standards are what you live by. They deliver on goals. So my goal might be to weigh 220 pounds and have 5% body fat. My standard is I eat 2000 calories a day. I do, you know, 60 reps of blah, blah, blah. My standard is I crush it. My standard is I dispense justice in the gym. My standard is I'm an athlete. The standard is what you'll get.

A perfect example of it is I just have a new show coming out that's called Change. I can't get into it right now, but it's a TV show. And I had this woman on the show and I said to her, I said she had gained 180 pounds, lost it, gained it back. And I said, here's the challenge for you. You kept setting a goal to lose the weight instead of having an identity and a standard of how you eat and conduct yourself. And I said, Angie, your identity is you were a heavy woman who lost weight.

instead of a fit, beautiful, vibrant woman who had gained weight.

Because we always get back to our standard. So you're getting back to the standard as a heavy woman who has no discipline. And the stuff you did was away from you. It's an activity that's not part of your identity. You'll always come back and get your standard. So we have to switch this, Angie, that you're a beautiful, vibrant, healthy woman. That's your identity. Who eats clean, trains hard. That's your standard. Who's happened to gain 180 pounds. Not the other way around. But because she's been heavy so long, it's become familiar.

And that's her history and her memory. So we do a pattern interrupt and get her focused on her vision and her imagination. And we change her standard and identity. Now we've got a chance to lose the weight permanently. And that's what the difference between standards and goals are.

I love that so much. And it's in your book and about the base. I love the whole thing about your baseline, what you're familiar with. Like I'm very much someone who's like does well in chaos. I think so to you, right? Like that was your thing too. You really prepare. My gosh, you're so good. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I'm very, I really believe that on a weekly basis, we get the same five or six emotions we're addicted to, whether they serve us or not. So if you're addicted to like my mother-in-law is addicted to peace and

She loves the Lord. She's the most devout Christian ever, right? Like just, the wind blows on her face. Thank you, Jesus. You know, like her husband passed away of many, many years, the love of her life. And she was sad, but not that, not like you'd think. And she mourned. And I said, mom, I said, how do you do this? And she says, well, now I'm married to Jesus.

And Howard's with the Lord now. And so she had this ability, even in the most difficult times, to access the emotion of peace, right? Whereas me, I took it into, I do have joy and I have passion in my life. But one of the emotions I was addicted to, I used to brag about, chaos.

No matter how wealthy I got, I'd find a way to mess things up so I could fix them. I had to do another deal. I had to do another thing. I'm addicted. I used to brag, go, I'm the best under chaos. Well, that's like a really a shitty thing to say about yourself, right? Like that means you live in chaos all the time, Ed Milet. So I had to evaluate that. It's like that emotion doesn't serve me. It's very familiar. It came from my childhood and I never dropped it. No matter what happened in my life, no matter what changed, no matter how good my relationships, how much money I had, I found a way to get me some chaos.

And most of you are nodding your head right now going, oh my gosh. So I think it's important to take an inventory of what emotions you get regularly and which ones don't serve you. And for me, chaos was the one that I wanted to drop and I've replaced it with something much, much more powerful. Which is what? Joy and laughter. I realized in my family, we were very happy, but we didn't laugh enough.

Like we just didn't laugh enough. Like there wasn't enough. When I walked in my house, I didn't hear enough laughter. And I'm responsible for the culture in my companies. And I'm responsible for the culture in my family. We have a wonderful culture in my family of giving, of loving one another. I think of being pretty good people. But we didn't have a culture of laughing enough. And I thought, what can I replace chaos with? I want more joy.

I want more laughter. I already was working on peace. My word for this year is peace. I wrote a chapter in the book called one more level of equanimity. What equanimity equanimity is peace under duress. How do you find peace in chaos? How do you find peace during stress? What separates Tom Brady from your normal quarterback when it's the fourth quarter?

God bless Aaron Rodgers, a good buddy of mine. But something happens to Aaron Rodgers in fourth quarters of football games, particularly in the playoffs, where he doesn't perform very well. So when it gets chaotic, he loses equanimity. Brady, when it gets chaotic, he finds more peace. Things slow down more for him. Rodgers is physically more gifted.

Much more. Right. Much more. Yeah. Brady is far more mentally and emotionally gifted. And it's not mental. It's emotional. He accesses the right emotions on a regular basis, whereas Rogers, I think, accesses and performs poorly. Chaos creates lack of peace. Chaos with Brady creates equanimity. And so I replaced it with joy, laughter and equanimity.

How do you do that? How do you replace it though? What's the process of changing what has not worked for you emotionally to what does work besides now? Okay. Now I'm aware of it. I know what I know. I'm a chaotic. I know I'm having anxiety. I know whatever those things are that are not working for you, those negative emotions. I know you don't believe all emotions are, are not negative or positive. I know you say that. Um, but if you go ahead.

No, no, I was going to say, not all emotions are negative. It's the abundance of them. Like, like, for example, um, worry, you'd say, well, that's a negative emotion. Well, not all the time. Like part of you worrying that this goes well today caused you to prepare.

Right. Exactly. That's what I was going to say. Sometimes it actually works, works for you, not against you. A hundred percent anger. People go, man, anger is terrible. Well, for me, when I get angry, I get really self-reflective. I get really focused. Do I want to be angry most of the time? No. Do I never want any of that? Nah, I can tell you sometimes when I'm in the gym, I get a little angry. It goes really well. Right. So that's an extreme emotion that I don't want a lot of. It's not completely negative.

Okay, how do we replace these emotions? One, we take an inventory of them and we actually begin to repetitively visualize these emotions. I talk about it in the book. You said something really important, which is awareness. For me, being aware that I do something helps it lose its power over me. So I actually do these visualizations that may sound funny, but I do these visualizations in my mind where when I'm doing something chaotic, I play the video of the chaos that I create. And this may sound strange, but let me tell you what really works.

I actually, it's like a CD playing in your mind. So I'll watch the video of me doing something stupid that's chaotic and I begin to change the color of it and brighten it. And then I begin to play music over it. That's like carnival music. Like you clown, you dope. And I actually start to scramble the pattern in my brain of what chaos looks like. And I begin to look like a fool doing it rather than a superhero conquering it.

And over time, as I replay that CD, it like scratches out the old pattern and replaces it with hilarity, almost embarrassment that I do it. And then when I get the awareness, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm doing this. I'm doing this stupid chaos thing. The awareness, it loses its power over me. And I'm not exaggerating in my mind. And it actually changes it. I learned to do that from a teen psychologist when I was playing college baseball who passed away.

And when I ground into double plays, I'd get mad and reinforce the emotion in my body. He'd make me do the visualization of it and then make it really bright and then speed it up and then slow it down and then play hilarious music over it.

to where like I'm laughing at myself as I do this and it's not who I am anymore. The last thing is the language we use. When I work with putters, are we going too detailed here? Is this okay? No, I love it. I love the details. I'm very much into the minutia of everything. So the more detail, the better. Okay. So like with athletes, when I work with them, if you're a golfer and you're struggling with putting, what do most athletes do when they miss a putt? I do it when I play golf or anything we do. I suck.

And they verbally reinforce the fact that they feel pressure when they putt. This may seem very subtle. When my golfers miss putts, they are told to say to themselves, wow, that's not like me.

Wow, that's not like me. That's not like... Detach from the experience and separate yourself from it. That's not like me. So the next time they get over a putt, the miss isn't playing in their mind as a part of their identity, who they are. When they're in that putt, if it's a miss, it's like, that's not like me. And when they make them...

That's who I am. That's who I am. That's who I am. So for me, when I'm doing something where I overcome chaos and I don't allow it to rule my world, I say, that's who I am. That's who I am. That's who I am. And when I do it, I go, that's not like me.

That's not like me. I use the language to separate from the behavior. In other words, not to be too detailed, when you attach the behavior to who you are, now it owns you. When you attach the behavior and you separate you from your behavior repetitively when you're doing it, over time, it becomes unfamiliar to your unconscious and subconscious mind.

mind and you cease to do it repetitively again. And then when you do do it, because patterns happen, you just go, I'm doing it again. That's not like me. And you separate from it and replace it. You need replacement emotions. Like when people quit drinking, oftentimes they'll tell them to replace it with a 12-step program they become addicted to. Replace it with prayer. Replace it with reading. Replace it with fitness. Exercise. Exactly. Yeah. And so for me, it's a replacement emotion.

That's a great, I like that. That's actually a very, so when you, do you, by the way, do you still work with individuals? Like you still work with athletes or whoever it is on an individual basis? How do you have the time to do everything? I feel like your schedule is like insane. I would say my schedule right now, if we're being, if I'm being completely honest, like you hit on something that's a real sensitive spot, I was talking about with my team this morning, I would say right now I'm out of control.

And I'd love to be on every show and say, have my total act together and man be just like me. But I think one of the reasons that I help, I reached millions and millions of people is that I look, if you want to really impress people, show them how perfect you are. If you really want to help people and connect with them, show them your imperfections. Yeah. And one of my imperfections is clearly that I'm doing too much right now.

And it needs to stop. I'm certainly heading towards a bad place if I continue at this pace. The answer is I do work one on one. It's very expensive. And usually it's with someone who can make a major, major impact. But I'm there have NDAs, but like I work with people that move, you know, the needle in the world.

Do I have time to do all of what I'm doing right now? No. Some things are going to have to go. And for me, that's a part of my process in August. We're doing this in July. In August is what's going to go. Because I want to bring my A game to everything I do, and you can't do everything. So the true answer is that I'm not managing everything.

um saying no i've i've always struggled in my life i'm a people pleaser even though i don't see i have a deep voice and you know whatever i look a certain way i'd say my personality is pretty opposite of

what I look like. And I really have a hard time saying no to people. I struggle with it. Even yesterday, you're like, so are you going to come back and do a second podcast? I'm like, yes. You know, the truth is that I should say, I'm not sure. You know, I need to check my schedule. You did. You did say that. I said it after I corrected it. I said, okay. And I said, well, let me look. So I struggle with saying no. It's a real weakness of mine.

Is the true answer. No, actually, but you have a very, you have like a very, you have a sweetness to you though. Like even like I can see, like even I'm picking up on like just different like personality pieces of yours. Like even when you're like, oh, am I going too deep? Like you actually have like a,

You know, as successful as you are, there's still very much like this childlike person inside of you that wants to be liked and wants to, you know, and I see that. So that's I understand what you're saying. So, by the way, does that go ahead? No, I'm just going to say I love people like I want to help people like if I'm not, tell me, you know, like I my favorite people told this really unique line.

Of humility and confidence. Yeah. And people that have a, you, we all know a bunch of tons of confidence with no humility. They fry because they're not curious anymore. They don't ask questions. They don't think they have anything to learn. They're just, yeah. And then people with tons of humility who have no self-confidence. We all have friends like that. You're like carrying them all the time.

You can do it. You know, you can do it. So I like people who nuance right down the middle there. I feel like most of the time I do, I am a confident person, but I think I have enough humility to go. Am I helping you? Am I missing this? You know, what can I learn? I'm a learner. I'm a grower. I don't,

When I was 30, I thought I knew everything. Now that I'm 51, I realized when I wrote the book, people are like, man, there's so much in this book. It's my favorite book I've ever read. And I'm like, the truth of the matter is when I wrote the book, I figured out, you know what? I don't know that much. I'll put what I do know in a book, but the stuff I don't know is a bigger list than the stuff I do know. And I like learning. I like growing. So I get something from other people when they get stuff from me.

Well, I love that. I mean, I really do. Your book is great, actually. And I'm not just saying that because you're on the podcast, but that's why I wanted you on the podcast because it is. But can we, let's go back to your day because can you give us a day in the life, like, especially now when you're saying it's so chaotic, what is your day? Like, what is your day to day? And what are the habits that you put in place to, because habits and hustle, um,

to kind of be at your peak performance and be the most productive. And then we can talk also about your time management. You have a great chapter about that, which is what we start. I told you how it helped me today. Yeah, I think I'll start there. Because I think that is my main habit is how I manage and spend time. So the truth of the matter is like many, many years, about 25 years ago, what changed my life? I realized, look, I'm not the smartest person.

I'm just not, you know, I'm, I'm, my IQ is what it is. And so how am I going to get ahead? How am I going to dominate in life? I got to take time and look at it differently. So I've been to manipulate time. It's in the book. I go very detailed on it, but to me, a 24 hour day is some crap that was created 300 years ago when there was no, you know,

no electricity. There was no internet. You know, 300 years ago, if I wanted to get you some communication, I had to find somewhere to write a note down, stick it on the back of some horse's butt and hope you got it a month later. Maybe right. And I get it back three months from now. Right now I can text you in two seconds. So why in the world am I managing time the same way that dude did 300 years ago? It's,

It's insane. So the fact that we still manage time the same way we did 20 years ago when there was no smartphones and no real Internet that most people used is bananas. So I started looking at it. I'm like, well, when I had to get a high school project done, I did drive my mom, drive me down to a library, bust out encyclopedia Britannicas, write everything down by hand, come back to my house, get on a typewriter. So old I am type a bunch of crap out.

And if I miss a word, I had to redo the whole page and do it again. Now my daughter hits Google print. There's her report. Totally. Right. So how in the world is our day measured the same way? And when you, I say that it'll change your life. When you read my book on this, like it'll just change your life. So my day is from 6am to noon. And by the way, just to be clear what a day looks like. So you don't think I'm psycho. I used to have 24 hour days where that day was lay on the couch and watch football.

That's okay. So when I say a day, some of these days may be that's all you're going to do. But the measure time in 24 hours, that is so stupid. So 6 a.m. to noon is a day. We've all had that morning where we go, I got more done this morning than I've gotten three weeks done. I just do that every day now.

So 6 a.m. to noon's a day. Workout, fitness, fun, faith, family, business, money, whatever it is, it's a day. At noon, a clock goes off in my head. This day just ended. Just like for a normal person around 8 p.m., it happens for me at noon. It happens. I just go, oh, it's noon. Bingo. What did I just get done? What do I need to focus on? What did I miss? What am I grateful for? What's next? Takes me 30 seconds. I'm into day two. Noon to 6 p.m. Same thing. Fun, business,

fitness, money, whatever it might be, faith, family. That's a day. Third day, 6 p.m. to midnight. Some of that time I sleep. Some of that time I'm working. Some of that time's fun. Some of that time is a cigar and tequila. Some of it's contacts and calls. Here's the bottom line. I get 21 days a week. Most people get seven. Stack that up over a month. Stack that up over a year. Stack that up over a decade. I will smoke you.

My life will be richer in every area, more fun, more family, more faith, more fitness, more business, more money because I calibrate time differently. Period. End of story. It gives me three times a day to check in and a normal day. The last thing that happens, then I'll come up for air, is the rest of the world responds to you differently when you run many days because what is perceived as scarce is valuable in our world.

It's valuable. And so that's why diamonds are worth more than paper. There's less of them. And so when you have less time to give people, the more valuable you become and become perceived. And so it changed the way everybody in the world replied and responded to me. That's how I get a lot of stuff done. A normal day is not normal for me. I think today. So that answers my habits. I think today I think I probably have 10 meetings today.

And that's too many. So just to be meetings. Yeah. I think I've, I mean, I'll just right before this, I was on with my architect for a house I was building before that I was on with my CPA before that I had a prep call with Ryan Serhant because we're doing Instagram live together tomorrow. Um, and by the way, it's only right now, uh,

11:48 my time, I'm about to end my first day. I trained this morning, I ate breakfast this morning, I walked my dogs on the beach, I met with my kids this morning already. So I prayed when I woke up this morning, I did my morning routine, cold plunge, all that other stuff. So I've already done all that today, right? Plus I've done text messages to friends and checked in on people already today and a series of emails and talked with my social media team and made multiple social media posts. And it's 11:48. I've got a lot done today so far. My day ends in about 12 minutes.

Do you drink a lot of coffee or what's like, what's your, like, what is your... I intermittent fast. So no, but I do drink a lot of water. I did have an energy drink problem for a long time. Dropped, got headaches before I dropped them. But so no. And by the way, I'm not that psycho. Like not every...

before all of this started happening, um, you know, I, many of my days are chill. It's just lately I'm very productive in those days. And, and by the way, this day to day, my last meet, my last actual business meeting is at 6 PM tonight. I have a six to 7 PM interview I'm doing with, uh, a media in Europe. And then that day ends. But tomorrow morning I have that Instagram line with Sirhan. I've got, uh, a meeting with a new agent, uh,

From William Morris, I've got a whole day tomorrow. And then when I'm done with that, I jump on an airplane. I fly to Las Vegas and I speak tomorrow night. So it's pretty nuts. Wow. Would you say the majority of your, okay, so wait, so what time do you actually wake up? If your day starts at six, are you waking up at 5.30? Are you waking up at six? Usually it means I wake up at six, but I didn't. I woke up at five today.

And then how long do you work out for? Like what is like certain things that are there certain things that are not like non-negotiables that you do every single day at a certain time? Yeah, when I woke up, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk over you there. Yeah, when I woke up this morning, I immediately sat in a magnetic bed that I have. It's actually on my mattress. I sit in that for about 10 minutes. It alkalizes your blood, separates your red blood cells.

I left that. I went, I, this is after I prayed and did some other things. I'm some of the physical things just about working out. So I did that. Then I did some cardio, um, very light cardio with oxygen. So cardio under load oxygen. Then I lifted weights for about 35 minutes and then I sat in an infrared, um, red light therapy bed and then I did some stretching. So I was done in about an hour and 10 minutes.

So is that mostly your routine? Like, so the magnetic thing, what is that? What does that do? And what time you do that before you work out? Yeah, I do. It just, it just alkalizes your body and it can, it separates your red blood cells. It's just a really healthy thing to do. It's part of something I do every single day, almost every single day. I have them in all my houses. It's not that expensive. And then, um, the oxygen under load, I don't do as often like you and I were talking about. I don't do that much cardio, but I did today.

And then, um, I lifted weights pretty heavy today, actually. Then I did some stretching and I sat that infrared bed. I love probably my favorite hack is my infrared bed. More than, is it like not an infrared sauna, an infrared bed, an actual bed. It's a red light therapy bed. Yeah. Oh, I love those. I think they have one at next health. Do you have one at your house? It looks like it's, it looks like a tanning bed, right? Tanning bed. Yeah. And by the way, for most people who can't afford that, and by the way, I very much relate to that. Uh,

Yeah, you can go get, there's lots of places now that you can sit in them like a tanning membership and just pay every session. Yeah. Just kind of like, it's kind of like how cryotherapy used to be. You used to have your own thing in your house. Now you can go to places and do cryo and infrared is, is that thing for me. And I feel a major difference. I feel it in my skin. I feel it in my hair. I feel it in my energy. You can change it. So like some of it can help you sleep if you want to sleep. Some of it's good for energy. There's different ways to calibrate the light that, that helps me. You,

You can also get the, the ones I have in my house, they have like, there's huge boards, like they're like four or five feet boards and you can have a whole room and you can stand there or just one. It's great. I love that too. You do it too. That's interesting. Most people I say that to don't know what I'm talking about. My house is like a wellness facility here. I have like 77 treadmill. I mean, I have my, my entire, I have an infrared sauna. I have all the lights. I have like every gizmo you can possibly imagine.

I mean, you can come here for like- Have you been going hot and cold? Yeah, the hot and cold plunging, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of that lately too. I like how my body feels when I do it. So do you love, I hate, like the one thing that is, one thing is very difficult for me is the cold part. The cold plunge for me, I hate that. Me too. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. And-

And I think some people take it to the extreme, like they'll do cold plunge and they live where it's 30 degrees in the winter and they wonder why they're constantly sick. I'm like, hello, there's a modification here that's needed. I do it because it's difficult. To be honest with you, I like the hot-cold contrast now because I've made this negotiation with myself that when I get out of the cold, I get to get into the hot so I know something good's coming.

So that's made it easier for me. But no, I don't like doing the cold thing at all. But I do like how I wake up when I do it. And I like that I started my day doing some hard crap that most people won't do.

100%. I'm a big believer in that too. Like what I would do is I go into my sauna. Actually, Laird Hamilton did, you know, he has this whole system that he does. He put me through this whole crazy nonsense. Like you're in the sauna and then you jump out for like three minutes and go into this ice cold, you know, plunge, go back into the sauna, go back and forth. To me, I'd be happy just staying in the sauna. I don't mind the heat. It's the other part.

Yeah, I like sweating. I like how it feels. I love me too. I like the sauna gives me this feeling like I worked out. I can kind of feel some of the toxins coming out of me. I'm like, I'm working out right now, right? Because you're just pouring in sweat. Exactly. Yeah, so I do love that. But it's like how you know, it's like, okay, if that's the one I like, I really need to be doing the other one.

And so I do the whole stuff. Gabby told me about that whole system. Gabby Reese took me through that whole system. And I think it's wonderful that Laird does that. And I do something kind of similar now, but I don't do that every day anymore. I've changed that. Yeah. I mean, did you do the system with him? Did she put you through? She did it to me too, actually. But you jump in the water with the weights and all that stuff. I've watched all the videos. I told her I was going to do it and then I never did it. So no, I haven't done it.

It's literally, it was literally me. There's no, very few regular humans are able to do that. Like with me, when I was at their place doing it, it was only Navy SEALs, Olympic athletes. Me, I took my husband. My husband was able to do it. But it was not like, it's not something you can do on a regular basis, like day to day. You know what I mean? It's not scalable for the masses, for sure. Yeah, right. Who's going to do that?

The amount of time it requires too. Like who has time? Can I say one thing? That's the thing I was going to tell you. That's the brilliant thing about you because a lot of people listen to these routines and they're like, well, that's good that you're like an influencer on social and you have this like warning where I got to get up and get my kids ready for school. You know, like I got like, and so I try to create routines now like that are scalable for most people. You're exactly

right. Like, let's be like, that sounds wonderful that you guys are going out and jumping in pools and lifting weights and sonning. And like, I got an hour when I get up to get to my kids to school. Right. So what can I do? And that's sort of the stuff I try to like actual stuff you could physically do as an everyday normal person. I, I,

You're 1 million percent correct. I mean, that's the thing. No matter how many things I even have gizmos and gadgets in my house because I'm obsessed with this stuff. I mean, at the end of the day, I don't have that. I can't do all of that. I mean, what do I do? I run on my woodway because I love that treadmill. I do my weights.

I like try to figure out ways to maybe do the sauna, like for 20 minutes here and there. But most people, anybody, actually not even all people. If you have a, if you have a family, I have two kids. I have to make them breakfast, make them lunch, get them to school, get them to camp, pick them up, do the dance class, the soccer. I mean, like,

If you want to be a human being that has like, if you like to have a, be a robust whole person, you know, like I can't just be like working out and doing my fitness all day. You know, I listen to some shows where I have guests on. I'm like, well, that would take three and a half hours probably in the real world to do. I'm not sure what the rest of your day is like, but that one ain't flying for me.

100%. Are you able, because with all your success, how are you able to balance that with your family? Like, how do you, because a lot of people I know in my life, and I'm sure with you too,

They dominate in one area. They're super successful, let's say in business, but everything else suffers like their family life suffers or shitty fathers or moms or whatever. They're not available. They're not around. Their marriages are terrible or they don't have one or they don't have girls. You know what I mean? They're very, they're very, they're heavy in one area, but nothing else. Where is the balance? How do people really get the balance? Yeah.

It's so good. I'm not balanced for sure, but I will, I did have my kids on my podcast yesterday. They're 20. Yeah. It'll come out, you know, whenever, you know, it comes out. But, and I asked them that I said, what's it like having a dad this busy? Have I missed too many things? Have I not been present? My daughter said, daddy, maybe like one time for like six months, I think you weren't as engaged as you've been all the rest of it, but no. And that made me feel really good. I, um,

I believe extremity expands capacity. I have this in the book too. For me, because it's my overall belief system, I think when I'm crushing it in the gym, I'm a better business person. I bring more energy to business. When I'm crushing it in business, I'm a better dad. When I'm losing in business, I'm one crappy dude to be around at home. And so I want to be winning in all these areas. But what I have done a pretty good job of is

Show me your calendar and I'll show you your priorities in your life. And so here's what I used to do. I used to schedule my business and my fitness and all this stuff and then go, okay, where can I fit the kids and my wife in? And so they fit in somewhere. And so what was the first thing to get moved? Them.

Right. And then I switched it like about 15 years ago. And what I do is I schedule my family first in my calendar and then the rest of it goes around that. And just the process of the sequential scheduling, I guarantee you, most people listen to this like, well, I've got all of my business meetings in here, all of my stuff. And then I squeeze my date night and I squeeze this.

And you go, that's easy to say in theory. Trust me, this would work if you did it. And so I actually schedule our family stuff first and then everything else. That doesn't mean I haven't missed a soccer game. I have. Doesn't mean I haven't missed volleyball tournaments. I have. But it's rare. It's rare because that's my priority one. And then everything else is scheduled around it. This is where these mini days really matter. You have more time than you think. What's the mini day do? Let me just say this one thing to you.

i don't have a lot of one-hour business meetings anymore i've had thousands of one-hour business meetings in my life that could have been 22 minutes they just could have been and so the way i schedule what does most people do they block an hour a half hour

for meetings. I don't. I schedule a meeting for how long it needs to be. So even in business stuff, a lot of my team knows this is a two-minuter, isn't it? Yep, I got one question. Come on in. And they ask the question. So that changes. And when you run those mini days I said earlier, you're going to find there's a lot of holes. This 24-hour day is like, yeah, let's meet for an hour. You know 20 minutes in. Now you're just BSing for 40 minutes or you're repeating yourself. And so there's a great book called Death by Meeting that I read

And so for me, my team doesn't have this bizarre because your calendar is like, OK, block off one thirty to two o'clock for this. I'm like, no, what is this one? They're like, it's a 22 minute or great block them for 22. And I do that. That may sound cold, but once everyone's used to it, it's the same as 30. It's the same as an hour. It's just a different number, but it gives me much more time.

I think that, I mean, I agree with you. I think those meeting situations are usually, I don't even take any unless it's completely mandatory, unless it's something, if somebody I don't know, and it has to be a face-to-face at the beginning, because what happens is exactly what you're saying. You end up just like bullshitting around talking about nothing, you know, about infrared saunas or whatever. All right. So weird.

Right. Or like, or like you, or you go, you go over the same shit over and over and over again. It's like, like, that's why like these zoom meetings, you remember before all of this, before COVID and all this other stuff, people would call each other. They would say, Hey, I have a question or whatever before social media meet even, but, or, you know, there was like now people to text. But my point is now everything has to become a zoom meeting, which is an hour to waste the time.

Well, there's also a rule I have. You know those annoying voice texts you get that are like four minutes long? I don't listen. So I've literally told my friends that here's how this thing is going to work. If you send me a voice text, I ain't hearing it. Take the damn time to type to me what you wanted to say, and I will get back to you. But I'm not doing this. You know, another call comes in when you're listening to it. You're two minutes in. You're like, oh, shit, I got to do this all over again. It's like a 30-minute thing to listen to something they could have texted in eight seconds, right? Yeah.

There's all these things I do now. I'm like, if you send me that, you're getting deleted. Just don't send me your crap. You don't want to make the effort of typing this crap. So I have to make the effort of listening to your ass for four minutes on something that could take six seconds. You're a man after my own heart. You're 100% right. How annoying is it? I tell people all the time, I'm not listening to this. If I have to type...

then you have to type because you talk, you talking and riffing for like four minutes where then I have to like, then like sit and take my time. I will not listen to those. How lazy have we become a vulture? Like now, now even typing a text is too, I don't know.

Like, come on, man. Like, type the damn text. It's a respect thing to me that you type it so I don't take my whole life listening to voice notes all day long. I wish iPhones would drop the stupid ability to do it.

Oh, you know what? You're so right. That's why I would never, I never ever send voice notes for that exact reason. And it's the same people who send those stupid voice notes all the time. You're like, all right, here he comes again. There's three of them. Now I will voice text like dot, dot, dot, you know, Hey, I need you to do this.

But by the way, I've done that so much. This is hilarious. My wife does this all the time. She will call me, literally call me and go, hey, babe, dot, dot, dot. I've got the kids. I'm like, you're dot, dot, dotting me in person. Yeah.

The ritual that she voiced, you know, voiced the text message. It's hilarious. That is so hilarious. I'm sorry. I know that I went over by two minutes and eight seconds with you. Hopefully you forgive me. I know I'm into day two for you, right? Because from 12 to six is your day two. Yeah, we're in day two. We're in day two. Very rarely do I spend the night with someone, not my wife. Right.

I'm so flattered. I'm flattered, actually. I feel special. Girls want to feel chosen and special. You did it. Actually, truthfully speaking, this flew by. I've never done a show that flew by this quickly. I think you're outstanding. And I have a show that does really, really well. So I know when someone's, I mean, there's no, it's by no mistake, your show is so successful. It's really obvious why. Greatness to the top. You're amazing.

You're so kind. I'm sorry. That's so nice of you to say. That is very nice. It's true. I'm not being nice. I'm telling you the truth. Well, thank you. Does that mean you'll do part two then? I told you I will. I think we're just going to have to make sure that we... Here's what I would do if I was you. I would schedule it when there's been a little gap with me of some breathing room so I can bring an even better game to your way.

Oh yeah, no, I don't want you right away. I definitely want to kind of space it out a little bit, you know, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, well, you know what? It's kind of like, we'll kind of stagger it a little bit, you know? Everyone's sick of me on your show by now already. They're like, all right, that's enough of this dude. Let's get to the next one. No, absolutely not. But I will say like, I'm upset with the fact that

I couldn't do this earlier because you've done so many podcasts over, you know, about your book. And so now it's like, I'm like me too. Like, like here's another one. Cause most podcasts don't move the needle and I'm only doing ones now that I'm like, they move the needle. Like I know everybody, by the way, listen to this, go get the power of one more. It'll change your life. It's a great book. I mean, I,

I hope I have enough credibility with everybody where you just go, hey, look, I'll trust this dude. There'll be stuff in there you've never read before. It's not like it's not one of those other books for me, personal development books. I feel like most of them when I read them, I already read this one. And this one, I think there'll be there'll be some chapters you'll be like, yeah, that doesn't apply. But there'll be enough chapters in there. We go. I got something big right there that I can tell you.

Well, no, this book, I mean, I was, I'm not just, I would never just blow smoke up your ass and say anything. I'm telling you the truth. This book really was, I really liked the way it was written in a way that's very easy to, it's palatable. You can understand it. It's like, if you are a business person, if you're someone struggling in any area of your life, you can, you definitely can glean something from it.

I really did feel that way. I wanted the applications to be diverse. Like even as a parent, if you want to be a parent or you're a student and you're trying to find your career or a leader in business or an entrepreneur or an athlete or a coach, like I, that was one of the hard parts of writing it because the applications are so diverse, but thank you. I appreciate that. You're welcome. And it's doing super well though. It's not like, you know, yeah, it's hundreds of thousands of copies. How many copies have you sold already? I think almost 300,000. Yeah. In a month.

Are you serious? Yeah, it shattered most of the records. Like, in fact, today was the first day it wasn't doing really well on Amazon. I'm like, what happened? It was like out of the top 100 on Amazon, but it's been in the top. It was in the top. It was number one for a while on Amazon, but it was like in the top 10 for like two weeks and then the top 30 the rest of the time. Just today I saw it. It sort of fell out. But yeah, we've sold a lot of books. Yeah. That's a long time actually to be on, like even to remain consistent like that.

I'm surprised. To be honest with you, I've been surprised by how a lot of people have shared the book. A lot of people have told people to buy the book. And that's a lot. Like, I'm not going to drop other people's numbers, but like, I don't know much about books. I've only written two. It's a lot. It's a lot, a lot of books. Like, it'll probably have a million copies sold by the end of the year, which is just wonderful. At least I hope so.

It's for sure. You know, I saw, I was in Vegas last week and last weekend and it was in the, in the, in the airport. It was like, and it was very well placed. You know, I actually, and I actually said to the woman, cause I knew you were coming on to my coming on. I'm like, how's that book doing? Is it doing well? Are people buying it? And she's like, yeah, people really like it. Okay, good. Thank you. That's good. I want a whole bunch of them sitting there on the shelf. So people send me pictures from books. There's like, there's none left. I'm like, good.

By the way, we sold so many books that it sold out even on Amazon for a while.

Like even Amazon sold out. It was sold out of Target, sold out of Barnes and Noble. It was not good when it sold out of Amazon for like three days. And then for a while, it said it was going to take two months to get a book. But now there's plenty of inventory. Who do you think is buying it? Is it mostly women, men? What's your demo you think that really like that? Because like we just said, it's good for everybody. But who have you been... Have you been noticing that people think it's only for them or... Oh, but I would say I...

I have more women that follow me than men. So I know I would, if I were betting, I would tell you that more women have bought the book than men have by like probably 60, 40 or 70, 30.

And I don't know exactly what to attribute that to, but certainly more females. But I think probably, no, I've watched people in their 70s buying it and I've watched 16-year-olds reading it. So I don't have a good grip on that. I don't know who's buying it, but I do know, I bet, just based on Instagram, maybe guys buy books and don't post as much on social, but based on posts and shares, certainly it seems like more women. Well, I agree with you. I think women are much more potent.

women buy books more than men, but they're probably buying it for their, for their husbands or boyfriends. Okay. There you go. That's what I think. But you know, what's funny. I'm very close with Ryan, um, Ryan Lochte. Right. And yeah, very. And so I, he told me that he, his wife reached out to you and this whole thing. And like, but yeah,

You like legit, like really helped him. Like, like forget about what he posted on social media. Like, Oh, thank you. He did this whole like long tribute to you. That's when I was like, what the hell is going on here? But he's like offline. And I don't care. He can even listen to this. It's because it's true. He's like, you really like whatever you said to him or whatever you did with him, it made a difference. It made an impact.

Well, we ended up taking it a step further where he just came on that show that I have coming out. That'll be out like the end of August. And we're actually working together now. We had one initial call where I think I helped him. Yeah, that's when it was. Now we're really, we're working together. I think he is just amazing.

The most genuinely hearted, good, misunderstood person ever. He's such a 100 percent such a. And by the way, you know, gets lost in the shuffle on Ryan is he's just one of the greatest athletes in Olympic history. But no one totally that's not what people are remembering, but they're going to. He is a wonderful father, a great husband, a super great dude. And he just needs to know that.

He just needs to believe that more. And he will. And he does. He's getting there. I love that you're actually truly working with him because this is, you just said it, he's so misunderstood and he's such a kind person and so nice that I think the media has taken advantage of that and like has not let this one experience or one thing

like go as like they, they choose, they pick and choose what they'll drop and what they'll kind of like, you know, create. And it's really unfortunate because he really, he is truly one of the best athletes of all time. And it's all been just, just, just been like kind of pushed down with this stupid story. And so I love that you're working with him.

yeah it's a good example though of how one decision can change your life though that one decision he made in 2016 really hurt him however ryan's made tons of other decisions that have really been beautiful and ryan it's really we talked about it earlier ryan was a guy with tremendous self-confidence with not enough humility now he's flipped the other way where he's got all this humility and we need to get his confidence back a little bit and i think he's one of the kindest most gentle genuinely good people who could help change people's lives that i've met as an athlete

And I think he's going to do it. So I'm really, really, I'm honored and grateful that we're friends now and that we're doing stuff together. And I'm so glad that you love him too, because he is so wonderful. He's just wonderful. I do. And I love that you're working with him. So you don't want to, I'll let you go, but when are you going to, when can you talk about your show or this other thing that you were talking about? The end of August, beginning of September.

Yeah. That's so exciting. Okay, good. Okay. So we'll be in touch then because I'm going to come harass you to be on maybe around some other time when you have something to talk about. It wouldn't be a harassment at this point. Now that we've done this, I would love to do it. Oh, you're so sweet. And I'm so excited and proud for you because even though I don't know you very well, I kind of feel that we've bonded here and this-

We have. And this book called The Power of One More is so good, you guys. Please, please, if you see it, buy it, go to Amazon. Ed is awesome. He has such great practical information for everybody and anyone to integrate into their lives. So that's it. I enjoyed today. You're awesome. I did too. You're awesome. And now we're going to be friends.

we are we're friends we're bfs we're bffs now and now you can go do your day too without you know you had you had this one night stand you can go now do the rest habits and hustle time to get it rolling stay up on the grind don't stop keep it going habits and hustle from nothing into something all out hosted by jennifer cohen visionaries tune in you can get to know them be inspired this is your moment

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