cover of episode Sex? After Kids? Tell Me More, Esther Perel

Sex? After Kids? Tell Me More, Esther Perel

2023/2/7
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Dr. Becky: 本期节目讨论了在养育孩子的时期，夫妻间的性、触碰和浪漫 often 感觉遥不可及的问题，并邀请了著名夫妻治疗师Esther Perel来探讨父母可以做些什么来重燃彼此的欲望。她认为，家庭生活所依赖的一致性和常规，往往会扼杀浪漫情趣。浪漫情趣在神秘、惊喜和未知中蓬勃发展，而有了孩子后，父母会更加注重稳定性，浪漫情趣则被转移到孩子身上。她建议父母需要关注彼此，而不是只关注孩子，关注彼此的需求和感受。 Esther Perel: 作为一名夫妻和家庭治疗师，她认为这是人类历史上第一次，家庭的生存依赖于夫妻的幸福。为了给孩子一切，父母需要确保他们给孩子的是一段充满活力和蓬勃发展的夫妻关系。她指出，前所未有的以孩子为中心，与对浪漫伴侣关系的高期望并存，两者在资源、时间、金钱、注意力、亲密关系和联系上发生冲突。她建议夫妻双方要思考自己为维系关系做了什么，并要刻意地去维系关系，例如牵手、约会、独处等。她还指出，在养育孩子的家庭中，通常会有一个主要照顾孩子的父母和另一个父母，另一个父母应该感谢主要照顾孩子的父母，而不是责备他们。她认为，与其对抗差异，不如在差异中建立互补性。在沟通中，应该先表达自己的感受，再提出请求，避免以指责的方式沟通。

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What happens when two become three, or four, or five? Who is responsible for the needs and wants of a couple when days are filled with playdates, pick-ups, and meal preps? Nights lack the erotic energy that couples need not only to survive but to thrive. This week, Dr. Becky consults with the renowned couples therapist, Esther Perel, to talk about what parents can do to rekindle their desires. Join Good Inside Membership: bit.ly/3HKYL3UFollow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinsideSign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter)Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.For a full transcript of the episode go to goodinside.com/podcast

To listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy

For more Esther Perel, head to estherperel.com or listen to her podcast Where Should We Begin. Stories are the building blocks of relationships and Esther Perel designed a game to bring out the storyteller in you. Get yours at https://game.estherperel.com