Giggling about tour, team sports, and MomTok
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Get it? Just sitting with the G. Oh, I thought you were just so tired. No, y'all. Okay. No. Y'all. Y'all. We're saying y'all because we don't have the time to say you guys. And because we're in the South. We're in the South. When you say y'all, you save so much time in your life. I saved like 40 minutes yesterday.

We are in Durham, but we have had five shows in three days. And honestly, I'm feeling rejuvenated. That's crazy because I almost passed out on stage at the second Atlanta show. And I want to know if anyone, I wonder if anyone picked up like my whole mood changed. I know your mood changed, but like sometimes with the Q&A, like we were having trouble hearing one girl. So I thought you were just having trouble hearing her. I was having trouble hearing, but I also was having trouble seeing. Yeah.

I kind of love that you could not hear or see or talk. And I was like, you seem normal. Yeah.

But she walks off stage and you go, I'm literally going to faint, which you've done multiple times. Multiple times. Well, I felt so bad because when we ended the second Atlanta show, like we hug and then we usually like turn and like say bye to everyone. And I ran off because I was like, I'm going to fall to the ground. I was overcompensating because I was like, that looked kind of cunty. So then I was like, I was touching everyone in the front row. I was like holding. I was basically giving my phone to everyone in the front row because I was holding like something else in my other hand.

And I was backstage like vomiting. Well, I went out and I was like, you have an Ian. And then we like were arguing about if you had a quesadilla or not. I had a quesadilla. And then she literally like a true Italian mother. She force fed me a banana. Yeah, I forced her a banana. But look, that was after five shows. Honestly, for 4.87 minutes.

shows you were incredible well this has been child labor for sure and i thought i was doing good because i've been drinking my stanley i've been taking my vitamins i think what also happens is

When we do live shows, I love doing live shows and they're so much fun. But I actually get so nervous before and I don't think anyone would like pick up on it. So I think I like stress my own body out with like being nervous to go on stage in front of like

2,500 people. That's like when like runners, you're like, why didn't he win? He's faster. But it's like his nerves were so intense that like his body just like couldn't compete. So like when I'm up on stage, I'm scared the whole time. I feel like you're nervous the first six minutes.

Yeah, but that but last night for whatever reason I just felt like I don't know I don't know if it's because we were in Atlanta and I was like, oh my god This is like a lot of people and like we're in Atlanta like purple. You have to be good the Hollywood of the South Yeah, and I don't know if that's like what it was. I'm gonna tell you what it was. Oh

Your high pony was too tight. No, my high pony was way too tight. I think you literally cut off circulation to your brain. Because it happened when I crossed my legs. No, literally like four minutes after I got into a different position and crossed my legs, I was like, oh, maybe I'm cutting off my circulation. Also, by the way, Paige sits the entire time. No, I sit the entire time because I shake.

Like when I'm holding the microphone and so like getting up is not an option for me. I'm like too nervous. But the gigglers have all first of all, everyone looks gorgeous. And I have been getting messages being like, what do we wear on tour? Paige and I go off like where you know, one will ever be overdressed. Yeah. Paige, Paige wore a belt as a skirt one of the nights.

And not sitting outfits, as you said. No, I've been wearing standing outfits, which is my own fault. She's wearing like house to car outfits, you know? Yeah, I'm wearing shoes that are car to table shoes. Yes, and I wore a terrycloth hooded corset. Nobody anticipated that. No, that was...

Well, then I, I, some girls can like, it's like girls who could pull off hats can pull off hoods. Wait, interesting. I've thought about this a lot. I have like, even though my head looks big, I actually have a small head, so I don't even get to have a cute, it looks big. Anyway, it's not. So I put a hood on. I look like a sperm. Yeah. You never wear a baseball hat to like the airport.

No, I also feel like if I'm trying to be like cool and incognito, more people look at me when I have a hat on because they're like, that girl looks stupid in that hat. See, I don't know what it is about the airport. I can't go to the airport without a baseball hat. I feel exposed. And I feel like it also partly keeps my head warm. You look so chic in your baseball hat. I love wearing a baseball hat. My mom hates when I wear one. But I love it. I think they can be so cute and they're just easy. And at the airport, like...

No, you need it. It helps when you're trying to sleep. You pull it down. You can't see anyone. You can't close your eyes. I put my headphones on with wires so everyone knows I'm listening to something even when I'm not. Also, Paige...

The first flight, I'm like taking down my bag and my wired headphones get stuck. In my wheel. In her wheel. And she's looking at me like, are you fucking kidding me with your fucking... This is a bit that's gone too far. I was like, I'm going to have to rip the headphone. And then you took your long ass fingers and you somehow like undid it. Got it untangled. Within three seconds before we had to like walk off. Yeah, I was so scared. I was like, everyone's going to yell at us. I was so scared. I do have to say...

I think this show is better than last show. I think it is too because I think it's more niche, but I think it's more girly. Well, we've evolved. I feel like the first show, I loved so much and I really was like, I don't think we can beat it. And then now we're just like, we've grown, we've learned, we know what works and we have so many more inside jokes. It's just like... And I feel like the gigglers also are just stronger. No, it...

It has been so much fun and it has been, we just started the tour like crazy. Like it wasn't like, Oh, let's do like one show. No, it was like six shows. Boom, boom, boom. And we have one more tonight. And I hate every airport. I just think every airport's the same and I don't even process the airport. I'm just like, I'm in another airport. I'm in another hotel. Um, I do want to say, even though we have been on tour and we've been in four cities, we've done six shows, um,

It has not kept me from my personal shows. Oh, I know, which I'm very impressed by. I finished the entire season, first season of Secret Lives of Mormon Moms.

Mormon wives, whatever. So Paige thought, Paige, Grace thought it was, I'm calling butter, I'm calling everyone the wrong name. Grace thought it was a documentary. So she started watching it and was like, this is reality TV. It's a full reality TV show. Yeah. What are your thoughts? I have so many and I know we do have some Mormon gigglers and I'm not trying to- No, but the Mormon, they get it. I'm not trying to alienate a religious group by any means. You guys are in a cult and it's so scary. Yeah.

Here's what I think is what I relate to it and what I think is the scariest part. Obviously, I grew up very like went to a Catholic school my whole life, like grew up a little bit more conservative. And so like I know the shame I have around like sex that like it takes you in your 20s that you have to almost like have a conversation with yourself. Like you're not a bad person if you like have sex with people. Yeah.

And so to watch these girls be in their, like, they're in such a range of their 20s and have, like, no, have such shame around sexual activity. Even with their husband? Yeah, and kids. Like, they're not allowed to, like, bring up certain things in front of their husbands or, like, talk about things with their friends that are sexual. Throw me in that house for 10 minutes. It's so crazy because it's, like, the generational trauma that is...

But you know what's crazy too? I feel like when you're suppressed, you're like worse. Yeah. It's like a kid who didn't have candy as a kid when they finally realized they could eat candy and they just like overdose. So it's like these girls, I don't, I didn't watch it. Okay. When you were on the plane, I was watching on the side and I was like, why is Whitney crying in the first episode? I totally get like second season, third season crying. Like I'll do it all day. First episode crying is wild behavior. Wild behavior. Also like there's one girl, I can't even remember her name.

she had a baby when she was 16 and then she married the guy and he was like four years older than her. And I was like,

Do the math. Anyone talking about how that's pedophilia? Like you can't have a baby at 16 with someone in your 20s. Also, more importantly, they all have the same hair extensions, like the same wave. Like it's the same from the same horse or whatever they get it from. Yeah, I don't know what that is specifically. They all look exactly the same to the point that in one of the early episodes that I was watching from Over Your Shoulder, they're wearing sweatshirts with their names on it so you can identify them. If you are calculating,

No, it took me a long time to get everyone's name because I was like, they all look the same. And I don't know if they're all like kind of related. I don't want to throw that out there. But like they all have like a similar look, except like the one one girl has short hair, which is Whitney. Some of them. I'm not sure if they know that their husbands are gay. I'm pretty sure the husbands know that they're gay. It's very it's so crazy. And then there's this one girl. She's married to.

He has crazy eyes. Have you been seeing that thing on TikTok where you can tell a guy's a narcissist by a smile? Have you seen any of that? If he has space above his eyes? It's like they have different... Their eyes are dead. You're looking at them and it looks like there's no emotion behind their eyes. This guy...

Is going to be on an episode of Snap. He is one of the scariest people on reality TV I think I've ever witnessed. So producers are happy. Producers are jumping for joy at Hulu. Well, also, these girls are not just people that they approach. These girls were trying to be famous. They kept calling it mom talk. And I thought they were saying mon talk. And I was like, is this a new episode of Summer House? I thought they all had one...

that they posted from that was called Mom Talk. No, it was just like a trend of moms posting videos. So they're all trying to get famous through that. Yeah, but they keep being like the essence of Mom Talk. I was like, no one actually... You guys made this up. Yeah, like this is not... No one gives a fuck about Mom Talk. Work on the white salamander shit. I've looked into it. It's wild stuff. But you also feel like these girls...

They're ready to do good TV because they've been they're like, OK, we're from TikTok. They're airing it out. They're saying everything. This is our time to shine. We're on like real TV. This isn't TikTok. And they're going hard. But it's it's kind of so scary. And then like the main girl, her name's Taylor and I'm team Taylor. She cries the whole time because like her first of all, her mom is so mean to her. I I.

I want to be like, you're the reason she's like this. You've literally shamed her for every decision she's ever made. Is this after everyone was swinging? Yeah. And the swingers aren't even on the show. She's the only swinger. It's all like these other girls that are just Mormons and moms. It's also so funny because it's like if you all just stopped...

being so upset that someone had an orgasm like we all could just go about our lives here's the one interesting thing so they don't drink alcohol they're not supposed to drink coffee but they can do adderall which is crack cocaine so like around their town in utah there's all like soda shops

So they go into these different soda shops. Like the 1920s. Yes. And they get these massive sodas with all these different sugars and like things in them because that's like their stimulation. Yeah.

And that alone, I'm like, you guys need to figure it out. But I will say if there was a soda shop in New York City, I probably would frequent it because I do love soda. But I'm allowed to drink coffee and alcohol. Also, can I just shout out? I'm one of those people like because I'm not that into drinking right now. I will order a $14 mocktail.

Yeah. And like the people I'm with will be like, do you want another one? And I'm like, no. And they're like, have another one. I'm like, I can handle one for you. That's like a Starbucks refresher. I'm not getting another fourth. I'm not spending $50 on juice tonight. No, it's crazy. And then they all go to Vegas for like a cast trip, whatever.

and they're all going to Chippendales. And the one girl's husband tells her that if she goes to the Chippendales show, she will be single, he will divorce her, and it'll be really hard for her to be a single mom. She like...

It's just the I'm like, how is your mom not watching this and immediately yanking you out of your own home with your husband? The most important thing is them having a husband, which and he is fucking crazy. Talk about the opposite of decentering men. Here's the other thing. They are all the breadwinners in their home. What? Yes. Every single one of them. Some of their husbands don't even fucking work. Hmm.

What? If that... You could not... Give me two seconds in that fucking town. If I've bought everything in the house, you're fucking cleaning, bro. No. Mama's been working. Like, I'd be like, get out of my house. Well, that's actually so interesting because the Mormon religion, the women were just caretakers and because of technology, they have now like started this new...

group of women who make money accidentally from just being interesting. And I will say some of the women are married to men that like, it doesn't seem like that's the norm in their house. Like they don't seem controlling and they don't whatever. Um,

But like as I'm watching this and as I watch like certain things that are like this where it's like a documentary or whatever, rather than like thinking about, oh, I wonder what I would have been like if I grew up like this or like this was my life. I relate it more to like.

Me having a daughter and being like, oh my God, I hope like my daughter never, I need to like teach my daughter X, Y, and Z. Like if you're the breadwinner, you're fucking in charge. If you want to have sex at a normal fucking age, here's how you do it. Some of these girls didn't know how to have sex when they were little.

when they got married. Like, that's mind-blowing. Because, yeah, they're not talking to each other because they're judging each other if someone knows something. I could not stop thinking that, like, they all have, like, 10 fucking kids. What is your daughter going to think when she sees...

You just hysterically crying because her dad is a fucking psychopath. Like it just, I feel on it. No, the kids aren't on it, which I think is great. I don't think that they should be on it. Yeah. It's they're actually talking about some of the craziest shit. Like it's way more serious than I think people think because like it is a reality show and it's like,

no these women are actually most of them it feels like they have um what's that syndrome where you fall in love with your kidnapper munchhausen no i just wanted to say well because like they're like no one's ever loved me like this it's like no you've never met anyone you literally married him at 17 yeah no wait so it's different than the salt lake city housewives because these are like

young girls they range from like 21 to like 30 is salt lake city housewives not all of them are even mormon they're not even and they're like i feel like housewives of salt lake city are like mormon ish well do they talk about um the thing where they put the penis in the armpit what the fuck is that no

It's called... We talk about this every episode. Penis in the armpit? Instead of sex, they do all these things. So they put a guy's penis in their armpit with lube. And they jerk him off? And they let him... Or they'll do the... What's it called where you bounce on the bed? Soaking. Soaking. They do the soaking. And it's so hard because I'm from Brooklyn, New York. A bunch of hippies. Yeah. Who like at 14...

four years old they were like you can have two dads and like sex is beautiful yeah so like I really have a hard time comprehending it no it is and like that's why I said like I'm not like I'm not naive to growing up like conservative and being taught like when I was in high school you were just taught sex is bad you don't do it till you're married like that was the overall arching

message in my brain like you don't have sex it's you're like a bad person if you do it too young use a condom that's all i was like told like use a condom yeah be safe when you so theirs is just like such an extreme and it's like the shame you must have around like your own self and your own body must be so unbearable i couldn't i couldn't imagine and it's all it's

just inflicted by their social norms. And here's the other thing one of the girls said in the show that I don't think anyone's like bringing attention to. Whitney was like yelling at Taylor for something and she said the phrase, you're giving ID Goff energy. And I go, what the fuck is ID Goff energy? And then I thought about it and it was the acronym, like I don't give a fuck, but she said it out. And I was like,

You guys need to be stopped. That's the most fucked up thing that's happened on the show so far. You guys need to be stopped. I'm calling the police. And I was like, oh, maybe that's a Gen Z thing. But she's 30. And I was like, okay, bitch. No. You can't go around saying ID Goff. That's where we have to put our foot down. That's where I'm drawing the line. I watched a crazy documentary about Hope Solo on Netflix. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I think it's an untold. So Hope Solo was basically the face of soccer and soccer. And then she just like disappeared. Well, didn't she get arrested? She was arrested. There was some shit that went down, but it's like her story. Okay. First of all, she's gorgeous. And like I'm such a badass has like the sweetest little voice.

At first I was like, is she putting this on to be sweet? Like old videos, she talks like this. I'm hope solo. But she's like 6'2 and like an incredible athlete. So she has this crazy story that like her mom and dad divorced and then her dad became homeless. So she was literally like playing soccer and one day they were like, there's a man in the woods and he says he's your dad. And she was like, dad? And she like...

But she was very, like, loving about it. Like, he would just go to all the games. Like, she got him a sweatshirt. And, like, she just, like, was, she's still, like, proud. Like, she would leave tickets for every game in case he came. Yeah, like, he just supported her. But, like, he was clearly going through. Look, there's a lot of things they didn't talk about. Yeah. But, like, that was happening. Yeah, like, I need a little more context. But she was like, yeah, my dad was homeless. But, like, so good at cheering on the sidelines. And I'm like, I feel like there's more to that. Yeah.

But she didn't come from a lot of money and she ended up getting promoted. And she gets all the way to like the World Cup or something. And they finally put her in. Like they finally put her in to be the starting goalie. And she's doing amazing. And she gets all the way to the finals. And the girls basically...

tell the coach they don't want hope solo to be a goalie in the game they want the older goalie to like finish her career in the final game and hope is like i got us here yeah why would you put a goalie it's not as good as me in for the final for the final game okay i'm on hope's side and then they lose in the finals yeah and hope is very she speaks her mind yeah and

So she basically was like, I told you like that girl's not as good as me. They shouldn't have put her in. Like she said it in an interview or something along those lines. Yeah. And like we've all been loosey goosey on an interview before. And she was speaking her truth. She spoke her truth. But like I didn't play a team sport probably for good reason. But like me neither. I don't believe them. You can't.

Team sports, it's like the team is number one. Organized, fun, little eerie. It's giving more men. It's giving more men. Team sports are cults. But it was very like the team comes first. You don't talk individually or bash a teammate or a coach, which that's what they believe. Camaraderie. Camaraderie, which is a cute idea. Yeah. So...

But also, if you're a bitch, I'm going to say you're a fucking bitch. So she just felt like the team turned on her, went behind her back, like didn't put her in. And then everyone loses. And she was just upset. After she did that, the team basically like X's her out. Like just like you're done. Yeah. We're not your friend.

They get a new coach and eventually they try to mend the relationship and get her back on the team. Oh, she legit got kicked off the team. It was like no one was talking to her. It was like really weird. But soccer is weird because it's like they have their own local teams. Then every couple of years they do the United States team. I don't know all the soccer shit. It's very confusing. So she's back. And then she basically gets fired.

she blows up like no one knows about men's soccer all they know is about women's us soccer hope solo is everywhere and she's like amazing but it's like 2008 i feel like yeah 2008 to like honestly 2015 okay so she's just killing it and she basically says i found out something i wasn't supposed to find out

And basically there was like an email chain saying like how much money the girls were making. And she wanted something to be paid. But basically the women were making like less than a teacher salary. Yeah. And they were like...

the face of soccer and the men were getting paid like millions of dollars and they like were probably losing and they were losing yeah so hope solo basically like gets her lawyer and lawyers up and is like guys we have to fight title nine like for us to get paid more this is a perfect example of the wage gap i once had a guy tell me that the wage gap wasn't real and asked me if i looked it up online and i was like have you you fucking weirdo

But that's a perfect example. They're doing the exact same thing. Well, also, they're getting more ticket sales. They're getting more exposure. Like, people just were obsessed with it. And at the time, the U.S. men's soccer team wasn't doing as well. So anyway, she finds out. And clearly, she's an outspoken person. But how U.S. soccer, they're very powerful, she was saying. Like, they're kind of like, if you don't go with my rules, we will fuck you. The U.S. soccer team is Mormon? Yes. So they're like...

all coming together now but but they're basically like the bigger larger organization needs to be protected but the organization is run by these old selfish white dudes sorry i don't give a fuck about u.s soccer being mad at me they're running literally there's i literally have something i could care about less about if you google it it's super corrupt and there's just these old men running this thing came for giggly squad i'd

Thank you. Literally welcome, man. Please, please. So she gets a bunch of girls actually on her side to start fighting for this. Then something happens where like, I think she said another thing that was just like loosey goosey. Yeah. I forget what it was, but it wasn't very bad. Like it was kind of like a Serena Williams thing where Serena does something and if a dude did it, everyone would be like, yeah, he was upset. But when a girl does it, they're like, she's lost her mind. Yeah, she's crazy. So she gets fired. Oh,

Fired. And then she thinks it's because she was the one who was doing the wage gap stuff. And when she's gone...

The girls then start their own, like, they continue it without her, and they get a settlement for, like, $25 million, but, like, a settlement is not what they needed. They needed, like, actual change. Don't just give, like, what you thought we might have been owed. Yeah. But then in the meantime, like, Hope gets into, like, a big family brawl, and she gets arrested for, like, punching someone. I think she punched, like, her sister or something. Yeah, and, like, there's...

blurry which is interesting because yes i think she ended up getting arrested for domestic violence we don't have sisters but from what i hear about sisters punching each other in the face is the fucking norm and we don't condone violence but i know multiple siblings boys and girls who have broken each other's bones killed each other and then the next day they're good but it was when i kicked my brother in the throat and i called 9-1-1 on myself i said yes i said i kicked my

Did you karate kick him? No, I kicked him. I was laying like this, okay? And he was laying on the other end of the couch. So we were like feet to head. Yeah, dangerous. And he was pissing me off about something. So I just kicked him right in the throat. And he was like... Well, he has asthma. Yeah.

so he literally started dying and my mom was upstairs and I was little I was only like six years old and I got so scared so I started crying and then I called 9-1-1 giving JonBenet Ramsey oh my god wait so apparently sorry I've been scrolling my phone apparently someone said the dad was like no one's checked who the male DNA was on JonBenet Ramsey and everyone's like yeah because it was the brother and you didn't want people to look at it

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The dad recently said no one's checked the male DNA on something. How does he know it was male DNA? That's a good question. Look, I cannot do follow up questions. I'm just saying random stuff that I know this poor girl. Rest in peace. I mean, every couple of years they're bringing up JonBenet Ramsey. Either figure it out or let it go.

period i have seen a conspiracy theory that people think that katie perry is jumping a ramsay and that's one i like to go with wait i like that me too i'm like that makes me feel i keep getting avril videos of her on stage and people being like that's not her no i love conspiracy theories that there's like multiple celebrities like lookalikes that go honestly guys if you catch giggly squad live tonight and you feel like something's a little bit off i i found a doppelganger

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This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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So overcome your fears with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash giggly squad today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash giggly squad. Also, side note, I did want to tell you, I've been having like serious anxiety because my apartment...

Is not handled well. Your apartment. My apartment. It's gotten, I've lost control of the plot. And some say it's because I'm a creative. Some people say it's because I. That's you. You're some people. I say, by some people, I said it's because I'm a creative. And I've been like nervous to work with like an organization company because like they even were like, can you send pictures? And I was like, I don't feel comfortable. You're ashamed? Yes. Like Mormon shame. Because it's not okay. Like it's giving hoarder.

I was just going to say, do you feel like you may have a little bit of a hoarding tendency? No, no. You like throwing things away. I'm I'm decisive. I want it all gone. It's just I whenever I'm home from tour, like I don't have the energy to organize and organize doesn't fulfill me like I'd rather edit a video.

Like my mom, when she's stressed, she's cleaning. Same. When I'm stressed, I'm eating. I actually saw a thing that it said if your girlfriend or wife just starts cleaning, it's because this particular thing she can organize and she can't organize what's going on in her brain. So it helps. And I feel like that is so me. Someone once told me like a clean room is a clean mind. And I never took that to heart.

No, I'm very much like that. Like if my area and space is messy, I'm uncomfy.

But basically, because I'm, like, fully convinced I have ADHD, like, most gigglers are, like, you are a spokesperson for ADHD based on just listening to me talk in conversation. So I trust the gigglers. But basically, like, I focus so well when the dopamine is right. So, like, you know, like, on stage, I'm, like, fucking on. You're in it, yeah. Where, like, if the dopamine from, like, me doing the dishes is not hitting, I can't get myself to do it. So, like...

With ADHD, it's like you're chasing dopamine. Like I'll have so much on my to-do list and I'm like, what really needs to be done is my pantry. See, I will never choose a pantry over like work. No. I won't even work out because I'm like, I have an email. No, I'm like that too. I mean, I'll find, I'll be like, I sneezed. I can't work out. That's crazy. I might choke.

I do want to do a shout out to, okay, it's called heart and company underscore. These, this woman and these girls, two of them came over. We're so amazing. First she comes. Oh, you got it done. You're done. I'm halfway done. They were you there. I was with them. Okay. I, they worked from, I felt like a princess. I was like, throw it away. Yeah. It's very, it's no. Yes. Yeah.

Cut his head off. It's very empowering. Behind him. I literally just lied down the whole time being like, yes, no. Cake for you. No cake for you. So they are from Boston, but they just moved to New York. And I basically was like, you guys are so fucking good. Can we hook up the Gigglers? And they basically said, if you just say Hannah to them, like message them, be like Hannah. Don't give a discount. They want to give a free consultation. Like they'll come up to your place and be like, this is what we'll do. This is the problem here. Da da da. My thing is...

She sees my closet and she's like, are you, how do you function with having different hangers? And I was like, what? None of your hangers. And she's like, your hangers don't match. And I go, I didn't even know my hangers don't match. Like you're creating, you're creating a problem. I didn't even know I had. And she was like, well, we're getting rid of these immediately. And I was like, those are a lot of hangers. When I hired my assistant, I said, there's one rule and there's one rule. If a different hanger comes into this home, we immediately throw it away.

I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't even know matching hangers were a thing. That's insane. I thought that was for stores. What are the hangers you're using? I thought it was exclusively for stores. That was exclusively for Saks. I don't even know how I like accumulated all my hangers over the years. What's the majority of your hangers? Look, it's diverse. It's wood, plastic, black, felt, light, dark, whatever the mood is.

And I have the clear hangers from the container store. I'd feel like some gigglers haven't ever heard of the container store. But if you live in New York City, then, you know, they're clear like plastic. So and they're super thin so you can fit more clothes and you don't really see them because they're they're the best. My thing is I actually am a minimalist like minimalist.

and well, first of all, until I was like 22, I only wore tennis clothes and like the same five tennis clothes rotated. And then I guess I got some clothes, but I really wore the same clothes. Like I started buying clothes like with summer house cause I had to, but let's be honest, I didn't buy that many clothes. And then I started performing. So it's like costumes where like you have, I wore the same black Amazon dress for a long time and I was getting hate

like my mom threw it away you love that dress love that because it was like i didn't have to choose it was easy you knew it looked good but like sometimes the more stuff you have the like more overwhelmed you feel someone said like life is not about things you have it's like the chase to get stuff it's not getting it oh my god like you once you got stuff you don't you actually like feel like suffocating yeah like life is not about getting stuff it's

the path to like what you want, like it's hope and it's excitement.

I will say I do love getting stuff. But there is a point where like you start feeling weighed down by it. And I started to, I had all these tours and then like, I just had all these luggages from like, that was my trip to Dublin. And that's my trip to, you know, West Hampton. It was all still in the suitcases. It was all still in the suitcases piled up. And then old, I just, I fucking lost control. And I like was avoiding my apartment. Yeah.

And then like it was no, it was really, really, really bad. I was like, I'm not going in there. I was like, do I buy another apartment? Just burn it. I was like, burn it down, burn it to the ground. Like I literally was like, maybe we just let this go, sell the apartment and get a new one. Like I was at that place. And then these girls came over and they were so kind and nice. They actually walked in and they were like, finally. And I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, we wanted something good. Everyone's apartments been like neat.

They were like, we wanted mess. They were like, this is the worst we've ever seen. We're pumped. They were like, this is the kind of project we want. And I go, I'm sorry I didn't send you photos. I like didn't want you to get scared and not come. Like I thought they were going to be like, oh, actually, oh, we actually are busy. And they were like so excited. And I just realized in life, like ask for help. Ask for help. And also getting married does not help. Like getting married. Because you have double the stuff. You double the stuff. And I'm not taking care of his shit. So it's just like me times two.

So anyway, shout out to Heart and Company. I'm obsessed with these girls. Message them. Thank God you have that done. They're amazing. I love them. Okay, next up on the ballot. Wait, let me just say this. I have a small Daphne update. I feel like a really absent mother. Oh, I know. It's been like three, four days. I missed her first baby tooth fallout. Wait, I didn't even know they did fall out. Yeah, her baby teeth.

They fall out at, like, between, like, when she's born. Like, at, like, around six months, kind of. I think I got butter at, like, around, like, seven months. So she probably... They all probably already were out. Wait, so...

Also, you have like the cutest cat sitter who's sending you paragraph novels of how Daphne is, which is so cat lady coded. No, I'm obsessed with my cat sitter because they type it as if it's a 1905. No, like 1800s love cat.

Daphne woke up. Like letter, like I'm away at war. Yes. Like they use the word whilst and shit and I'm obsessed. But I feel like when people have a dog, they're like, here's, you know. Here's Jeremy and he ate and now he's running around. Where they're like, Daphne woke up feeling a little sad from her nap and then she walked over to the living room and licked her paw. They're like, she strutted over to her water bowl. I'm like, I'm obsessed with you people.

Well, you also have that technology where you can see. My fur bow. See, I would die. If I had a fur bow, first of all, I wouldn't pay attention to anyone. No, I really don't. I'd be just like, sorry, I'm fur bowing. No, I mean, catch me on Summer House this summer laying in my bed fur bowing my dog. So, or my cat. Oh my God. Well, Daphne is dog, is dog coated. No, she is. She gives dog energy. Wait, so we've, we didn't tell anyone about like the US Open yet. Oh no, we didn't. We went to the US Open. Yeah.

I wore kitten heels. You wore kitten heels. You love those kitten heels. Zara. I'm still wearing them. No, they're so comfy, right? That's all I care about is comfort. Zara shoes are pretty comfortable and they are sized. I actually think they're sized a little big. So like sometimes I get a six and a half even though I'm a seven, but those were a seven. So I felt like they fit you better. I love it a little wide. Yeah. They're a little wide. Like my pussy. No, I'm just kidding. So we had like,

We had fun. We had so much fun. First of all, I didn't know there was an Eataly. I like forgot about that. Well, the open has officially become, I guess, you know, honestly, since COVID, I think events are now like,

Yeah. That's why like live shows are so cool and like celebrities going to events are so cool. But when I saw Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey show up at the open, I was like, oh God, the open just like it's going to become so fucking popular now. So happy you brought this up. Don't you dare. I have to. What? I literally have to. There's something about a man in a bucket hat that for me personally is

I'm against it. I'm fully against it. I might drop a petition. And there's something about a man in a Gucci bucket hat with a Gucci matching polo shirt that I'm really not here for. If any other man did this and it wasn't Taylor Swift's boyfriend, people would be rioting. Well, he does it with like kind of a what's it called in cheek in his cheek cheeky.

tongue in cheek i think it's tongue in cheek but it's like he's goofy he's funny i want to know the conversation of when they're getting ready he's like what are you gonna wear babe

And is she like, I'm obsessed with that outfit. I love you for you. But also, did he always dress like this? Like if your shirt says Gucci, your hat certainly does not need to say it. And like we get it. Obviously, you can afford multiple Gucci outfits. He looked like me at the airport trying to pull off a hat where everyone's staring and they're like, whoa. I'm just like hashtag page against men in bucket hats. I don't.

I'm like interested. I feel like they actually do not get to spend a lot of time together. So it's like interesting to see when they are together that it's like in a public eye. Like I feel like it's so much pressure and everyone's looking at how they act. Yeah. Well, I would say like if you're dating long distance and say you're dating for four years, I feel like you're actually dating for two because the amount of time you're apart is

You and Craig have been dating for three weeks. No, literally. You're three weeks in. You just met that man. I dated this guy like the summers we'd be together in college. And then we did long distance when I was at college. And then I was like, this man is it. And then the second we got back, I graduated and we moved in with my parents.

Like three months in, I was like, who the fuck is this dude? Yeah, you're just like, I can't. It's all been made up in my head. And it was like the stupidest stuff that was annoying me. I can't believe you moved in with your parents and your boyfriend. That's so interesting. My parents are like,

They do charity for men, my parents. No, well, they like they're like, if you care about him, like we're rooting for him. And he was like going to school in the city and they were like, bring him. Well, words my mom's never said. If you care about him, we care about him. My mom's actively like we hate him. OK, so figure it out. The thing is, he was like a really nice guy. My mom loved him. My mom hated my college boyfriend, as she should.

I mean, she's always been right. She's always been right. So anyway, the open was fine. Who did we see play? We saw Sabalenka and we saw Tiafoe. Yes. And we ran into Sierra. We ran into Sierra. We stopped in the gray goose box for a minute for a little. We saw Taylor Fritz's girlfriend, the Morgan Riddle. Yeah. Which was just fun. Like the energy. It was fun. And we brought Des. And we brought Desmond.

wow you never call him desmond i sometimes i throw it in just yeah i like because he seems like a different guy i'm like yeah that's my other husband desmond he no he was desmond that night because it's a great name strong if you had a son would you name him desmond no okay i don't why are we complicating the family dynamics like my dad is dan his son is dan and then it's like is it danny is it daniel how are we not yelling oh

That was like Taylor Swift. So Taylor Swift goes and the guy playing's name is Taylor. So everyone's yelling, go Taylor, go Taylor. So she must have been like... Over-stimulated. Over-stimulated and been like, are people yelling my name? If someone kept yelling my name at a sporting event, I'd actually have to leave. I'd legitimately pack up my things and head on out. What did you honestly think of the honey deuce? I love the honey deuce. I don't know why people... Like it's not an available drink at other... Like bars, right?

I think because like the melons are difficult. They have to make like rounded melons. The honeydew. I also don't trust honeydew. I feel like it's like an avocado where it's good for like three minutes. Well, they're definitely like in season. There's like a season for them. Are you a honeydew farmer? No.

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Wait, also I threw the first pitch at the Mets game. I didn't tell you. Yeah, you didn't tell me. I literally just saw it on Instagram. I kept saying I'm going to the Mets game, but I didn't want to tell you. No, I don't even think I knew you were going to the Mets game. I kept saying it, but you literally don't process sports events. No. I saw it. My first thought was... What was your first thought? My first thought was...

I love a yoga pant on the field. Well, this is my thing. Like I wasn't there to fuck around. Like I was there to throw the pitch. Did you practice prior? Who'd you practice with? Des. In your backyard? Yes. And Aiden was filming and I kept looking at the video being like, I don't like that technique. I don't like that technique.

But this is the thing. Did you make it to home plate? Yes. This is, I'm, power was not a problem for me. Okay. It was control. Okay. You know, and so if you're bored, watch 50 Cent throw the first pitch. He, he's lefty and he just went totally to the right and like basically he threw it at the wrong person. Like it was so embarrassing, but it's hilarious. And like, I love 50 Cent. Shout out 50. Yeah.

And then Mariah Carey had the best one where she literally throws it straight down and like then like giggles and is like proud of herself, which was iconic. Yeah. But I was like, people started placing bets, like my friends being like, you know, $20, she's not going to hit the home plate, all this stuff. So, but I also was like, I don't want to overthink it. Because if you practice too much, you're actually like putting too much pressure on yourself. I'm like, what?

It's the same as a service motion. Like I know how to fucking throw a ball, but I get there and they were like, hey, you can't throw from the top of the mound. You have to throw either in front of the mound, which I wasn't going to do. Or behind it? No, or just like you can't stand at the top. You just stand like on it, but like kind of in the... Why don't they let you stand on the top? I guess they don't want you to like scuff up the rubber or something. Oh, I thought it was going to be like a...

Superstitious thing where like they don't let anyone stand on the top unless it's like the actual picture So then I get there and i'm not standing on the grass because i'm like i'm a i'm a fucking big girl I'm not staying on the grass, but then I get there and you're standing on a slant Okay, like you're fucking skiing. So like you're throwing but like it's going down So I was gonna do this whole foot move and then I realized i'm slanted and

Dez is catching the pitch. And I'm like, oh, Dez was catching it. Oh, they don't use the catcher. They normally do, but they switch something like order wise. And they were like, can Dez do it? Because the guys are like, they have to do something. That must make you feel more comfortable. Yeah, but if he didn't catch it, then like people would have been like, boo.

Why are you standing? Because I was showing my pitch. Oh, okay. I just stood up to... Did that stress you out when I stood up? Yeah, it made me uncomfortable. You were like, can everyone calm the fuck down? Stay a while. So anyway, I ended up throwing it like a little higher than I wanted, but like I'm not going to, you know, tear myself apart about it. But it was fun. And then...

I ended up interviewing some of the Mets. So those videos are going to come out soon. So that was fun. Wow, I can't wait to see. Were they funny? Any of them funny? Like the Mets players, not your videos. They were funny. And I think like they rarely get interviews like what I did. So like at first they're like, what the fuck is she asking me? I asked them about their skincare routine. What's the age range of a Met player? Like how old are they? Great question. Like in their late 20s?

they seemed like 25 to 35 baseball it's like hard to get to the pros like you have to like go through a lot of levels to get there like all those farm teams yeah the farming the cantaloupe farms yeah any melon farms they're like triple a triple a and like that gets your batteries out of your car yeah so like so to get there it takes time but then some of them go till they're like 45 or something

oh wow like you can play baseball till you're pretty old because you could just like i don't know no you can it's here's what i find interesting about some of the men's sports you can be really out of shape for some men's sports and it's like fine like you know it's kind of crazy you could be a pitcher and be extremely overweight yeah and it's fine yeah golfers

Do they work out? Well, it's funny because the ones who do work out get injured all the time.

Yeah, like there are some golfers and I'm like, that looks like my dad's friend. Like they're different. Like that's, but that's insane that he's a full on multimillionaire. Well, certain positions they like don't. Well, I mean, look at the football guys. Some of them are, you know, huge, but that's their position. They need to be. Right. That, yeah, that I classify as like different because like their, their job is to like block people. So they have to be massive. Yeah.

But even that, I'm like, I couldn't sign up for that. I do have to say, yeah, I don't think that's what you were meant to do. To be a defensive lineman. In another life. I did up my Prozac because I'm... You have been an extra fucking chipper this weekend. I'm doing fantasy football, so I had to up my Prozac. Okay. Because fantasy football season is stressful. I'm playing Jared Freed this week. Okay. He's...

And we're texting. It's intense. I'm going to be honest. I don't get how it works. And I don't think I need to know. Yeah. The only thing I want to tell you is that

Everyone picks players, so you create your own team. Okay. And the players can be from any team? Any team. So that's why when you turn on a game, you'd be like, oh, I have that receiver, so I'll watch to see if they get any points. The stress that comes from it is that anything can happen, and you create a bench. So some guys are on the bench, and then some guys are playing, and sometimes guys on your bench will score a ton of points, and you don't get the points because you didn't put them in because you thought the other guy was going to do better, and then you leave the bar crying.

Craig's favorite day is Sunday when they pick their fantasy football teams and they do relay races to see like who the order of who picks. Oh, yeah. That's like a frat boy thing. My brother just sent me a video of his friend. They were picking their order of who picks their team. And it was his baby in his crib picking the names out of a bowl. And the baby was picking it. Wait, I think there's a funny joke about how like.

gender reveal parties are like similar to fantasy football draft parties. There's some correlation there. I don't know if I would have a gender reveal party. You would do something like so tasteful. Like I actually don't know if I would because I feel like I'm going to be laying in that bed and they're going to be like, do you want to know? And I'm like, I mean, I want to know yesterday. I'm going to know from your wedding events that,

How I proceed. Your baby stuff will be. Like, we're going to see. I'm not as concerned with my gender reveal. I'm more concerned. I think about my child's first birthday a lot. Oh, my God. What's the theme? But they're not going to remember it. That's okay. The people there will. The people there will.

I actually love making fun of a gender reveal but like low-key like when you see someone like serving a tennis ball and it like pops open I'm like that shit was kind of fun yeah no they do seem fun but like I'm not inviting a lot of people I'd be like me and my dad I've never been invited to a gender reveal well we don't have any friends with children that's true that's actually spot on you know that none of my friends are married really I mean my Wisconsin friends are

I feel like I'm very split. I either have really single friends or very married friends. None of my city friends are married. Yeah, because we got a brain on us. Okay. Do you know that the two happiest demographics are single women and married men?

No, I'm not kidding. That's a real... Which is literally such a mindfuck. Men's lives significantly improve when they get married. And women's quality of life significantly goes down. Would you raise a baby on your own? Yes. That's very celebrity of you. Celebrities love doing that. Like Kylie. I almost feel like I'd do a better job. No.

Or be in a lesbian relationship. 100%. Did you hear the story about Dakota Johnson? Thought Celsius was just like a...

like vitamin water and she started drinking it on set and she said like she couldn't fall asleep at night and she thought she was just like so inspired by this movie but then like she couldn't sleep for like because she was chugging Celsius and then someone was like you realize that's like Celsius PR is scrambling. Scrambling. Well like clearly it's but I have a lot of people been like just drink like a couple sips of that. I've had one Celsius in my entire life and I said no.

You guys gotta be kidding me. This is illegal. You guys have to be nuts. Is it like the fucking electric lemonade at Panera? Yeah, I don't, like my heart was racing. My hands were shaking. They have to put warning labels on this shit. I was blinking at two times speed. It was, I never in my, I was never picked up another one. You're like, I started a company. I closed my company. Celsius invited me to something. I said, I think you guys are crazy. No, you guys freak me out with your drink. I'll tell you, you know, it's back.

like altoid sours i saw that which honestly what a throwback can i tell you i was a full-on drug dealer in the seventh grade with altoid sours my dad always had me stocked like he would stop at the gas station or like cvs or whatever need to always pick me up a pack and i had them all in my backpack and everyone knew to come to me you were cool i was the coolest i love how you're like we got two of these we got one of these i got orange sour altoids i got grape i got cherry like what do you need

Also, I pulled out a Listerine strip at the open. That was crazy. No, Des was appalled. Hannah pulls out Listerine strips and then she proceeds to pull out each actual Listerine strip and hand us the strip. And Des looked at her as if she had just...

hawked a loogie into all of our drinks he was like usually you let people take their well i was doing it like a communion i actually preferred i was like let out your tongue i would place it on the tongue the power of christ compels you i actually preferred you getting it out for me no i see now looking back me putting my fingers on everyone's little listerine strip was fucked up but i was dealing with it like gum except gum has a wrapper right so look i i'm like i haven't listerine stripped in a while also that shit

I love a Listerine strip. I think it's like the only thing that works with breath.

Two of those strips and you're good to go. It is probably like Chernobyl. Like it's definitely not good for you. Right. Because like we're not supposed to swallow Listerine. But yet. Something got... It got like kind of stuck on one of my tooths. Yeah. My teeth. And I thought my tooth was going to burn off. Yeah. No. They're powerful. But I was trying to play it cool at the open. They're small but mighty. Small but mighty. But that's what I want. I have something to say and it's going to offend you. Okay. And I...

I want to say that I apologize, but I don't because I truly feel this way. You never crave water, like plain water. Never once. And I don't know if I trust people that don't crave plain water, at least sometimes. It was because as a kid, my babysitter, my mom would drop me off to like be babysat and they would like give me apple juice. So like I it was like crack.

So I like was craving sugar. So then my mom would like water it down. Like she had to like taper me off it. I'm just kidding.

Also, my dad is like that. My dad will walk into the fridge and just chug juice. And my mom's like, you're disgusting. Have a water like a normal person. No, I actively will wake up in the middle of the night. And if my water has flavoring, I can't drink it. I'm like, I need a plain water. I woke up this morning and there was just water. And I go, I'm not drinking that. It's the only thing that will really quench my thirst. Well, yeah.

a Gatorade with I like watered down juices half Gatorade half juice half water water with a little meal but yeah you're not a big here's what I think is interesting you're actually not a big sugar person like I never see you know dessert no it's not about the sugar it's about the flavor I think I drank a lot of Gatorade as a kid

You know, I wasn't allowed to have Gatorade as a child. That was like one of the rules. But like we could have Lucky Charms. I was like, mom, pick a side. I fully was like, well, cereal is healthy because it's breakfast. Yeah, literally. Why would we start the day bad? Right. Cinnamon toast crunched the fuck out of me. We had Kashi.

growing up it was like the healthy i was just with a group of people and we were saying our favorite cereals and someone for serious said raisin bran and i almost left i was like you can't that's not like a serious i like raisin bran with granola but not as your favorite granola is not great for you granola is like eating cookies these days yeah final doc that everyone has to watch chimp crazy

It's so good. I just started it. You finished it? Well, I think it's they're coming out weekly. I think there's maybe one or two more episodes left, but I've watched all three. Okay, amazing. Actually, maybe last night it came out. I think it just came out. I have to catch up because I've been behind on my shows. I don't know when you found the time. No, I've been showing it up. It's very similar to the theme of like Tiger King, but it's about monkeys and it's

These people are crazy. But they were like, monkeys are 98.4% human. And I was like, you got me. What's about to happen here? The one lady was like, I love these monkeys more than my kids. And then they have her kids on. They're like, yeah, it wasn't great. It doesn't feel great. No, yeah. She was like, having a monkey is different than your children because a monkey's love is real. And I was like, oh, shit. They're like, they never leave you. They always need you. And it's like, yeah, because they're an animal. You have them in a cage. Yeah.

So would a human if you had them caged up. Also, like the whole exotic animal thing.

I don't get it. Well, like they have to like traffic animals and it's in the weirdest places in America. It was in like Missouri or something. She was like, I can get you any animal. You got to go to this small town, Missouri, and it's full of exotic animals. I'm like, I don't love that. I don't love that at all. What is going on in the middle of the country where they're having at home zoos? Is there that many people that are going to these freaking zoos? Also, I feel like I watched Planet of the Apes at a young age and was like,

Oh, shit. Like, that could happen. Yeah, like, they just take over. I thought the apes would be more of a problem throughout my life. Well... Like, quicksand. Here's the thing. They keep them, like... They don't start out like that. It's because they literally keep them caged up that then, yeah, they freak the fuck out. Yeah. And then they kill you. As they should. Okay, don't give away the plot. If someone kept me locked up... Yeah. I'm...

figuring out a plan to kill you. Well, if you're saying they're basically human, like you can't lock them up like they're a fucking bird. No. And you can't lock up birds either. And like, here's the other crazy part. They're like breeding these exotic animals, but like trying to domesticate them. And it's like this.

is a wild animal. Let them go be wild. Well, I saw in the first, she was saying how she did these like chimp parties where she'd take these chimps and people would pay money to have the chimp at your birthday party. Yeah. And then her husband at one point, his nose is like

He has like a huge scar around his nose and she was like, oh yeah, something happened and like a chimp bit his nose off and I had to like find the nose and like put it back on. He died. He ended up dying. And it was... He probably got murdered because I think the chimp didn't like the man, the other man. But long story short...

The chimp can do nothing wrong in my eyes. No, me neither. The chimp is being fucking mistreated. The chimp is perfect. They're trying to put the chimp in situations that the chimp shouldn't be in. Yeah. At the end of the day... Justice for the chimps. Justice for chimps. Justice for animals.

Here's the other thing. These people look insane. You look like fucking clowns. You can't trust anyone who you don't like their outfit. You're like, I really can't. If I have a problem with your eyebrows and your hair, we probably won't get along because I don't see life in the same color lenses you see life. 100%. No, there's some crazy hairdos in it. I think she wears wigs.

I think she wears wigs and I will say she rotates them. She's never giving the same look twice. I thought it was four different women being interviewed. Me too.

Who is this? This is the thing. The Mormon girls need to learn from this woman and get some different hairdos. But this woman's taking it too far. Yeah. You guys, we are so excited to be on tour. This is the end of our first leg. There's a lot of legs. It's like a spider. If you haven't gotten tickets to your city, definitely get it. We love you guys so much. Oh, also, if you're on tour, we have...

different special merch that's just for tour get there early because the lines have been long to get your tour merch um and we love you guys so much check out our newsletter rate subscribe review swipe up give us your firstborn thank you love you thanks for giggling