Giggling about past lives, witch trials, and crutches
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They make every detail look sweet.

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We are mentally, physically, and spiritually spent. Why do we look like we both go to the same prep school? I feel like I'm a grade older because I have long sleeves on. Why do we always match? We've been really matching recently. It's so weird. It is really weird. We both never wore blue on tour, and we both just wear blue in Newark. No, it doesn't make any sense. But Newark was giving blue energy.

It gives blue, yeah. And now we're both wearing colored shirts, like little nerds. No, we seriously look like we're on the rugby team. You look like you're going through a phase where you're like, Mom, I'm growing my hair out.

No, I hate guys who are like, oh, I'm in the in-between stage. I'm like, you've always looked like shit. Yeah, the in-between. I will say guys do have to get their hair cut so much faster than girls. Yeah, but it also takes them like 20 minutes. That's like a little bit of admin for them. We have to tell you guys a story that we've been saying on our last two live shows. Also, we're going to be in Milwaukee and Madison coming up. This week. This week. We...

Went to Salem, Massachusetts because we wanted to see where all the witches were killed. And... I don't know whose idea it was. It was partly what we were expecting and then partly totally not what I was expecting. We weren't so excited. We were like, we definitely were witches that were burnt at the stake in a past life. Because if you weren't, you were a fucking loser. Yep.

Also, we were talking about how a girl just probably gave a guy blue balls once and he was like, you're a witch. No, literally, we had this woman who has lived there her whole life who says that she's a witch and does psychic readings and pass regressions. And the number one thing she said about the Salem witch trials is it was all just to steal each other's shit.

It was just, like, about property. Yeah, like, it was... Basically salt burn. Like, if you got someone else to, like, accuse you of being a witch, they could, like, take your land. Yeah. So it was all just, like, lying and cheating to, like, get ahead, which is so crazy because they were so religious. Someone commented on our Giggly Squad Instagram, was like, Hillsong is shaking. Yeah.

Look, we did start a megachurch. If we start asking you to, like, clap along, be weary. Something has gone awry. If we put out an album of songs about giggling and you have to hold hands...

So anyway, we go to this room where they do seances. So you knew shit was about to get lit. Like it was about to be crazy. And we were very excited because we love this shit. Yeah, we were open. We were so open. And we even said to the lady, we were like, say whatever you want, whatever you feel like you can't offend us. We can handle anything. Like, be honest. Literally four minutes in, I was like, okay.

I was like, this isn't that much fun anymore. Like, I kind of want to call my mom. At one point, I was like, I actually hope you did Google me because if you didn't, I'm scared. Like, if you didn't listen to every episode of Giggly Squad to get a, like, figure out what my personality is, I'm scared that you know this much. I want to take the gigglers through step by step.

So, first she does tarot cards. And she starts with you. And honestly, I kind of felt like she nailed it. She nailed it. What did she say again? I forget, but I was like... She said you have to take care of your mental health. Yeah, she said I have to take care of my mental health. She said that I don't feel emotions for myself. But, like, I can identify them in other people. You're the weirdest serial killer ever. Truly. You're, like, full of empathy, but not for yourself. Yes. Oh, my God.

And she was saying you have to, like, choose between your career and other things. You're very busy right now. She said I choose my career a lot. And, like, I always kind of will. And then she said I have a lot of self-worth problems, which...

That was a direct attack. Direct attack. But then she was like, I recommend for you to feel more grounded to eat more pasta and cheese. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you pay this woman off? It felt like that. It truly, truly felt like that. I was like, I feel like my doctor has a few things to say. But I do believe that your ancestors are like full of like they ate pasta and it is what grounds you. Yeah.

And she didn't say that to me, but she was like, I think you should slow down on the pasta and cheese. And I was like, what the heck? She's like, you're lactose intolerant. No, but hers being so accurate with...

You was why mine... That was when it started to get a little eerie. It was starting... Yeah, it's starting to turn a little bit. It started to turn because she's putting out cards and it's all silly goosey. And when I walked in, I was like, I'll go first. And then when I was like, actually... I should have waited. So she takes out a card and she goes, ooh. And me being Miss Optimistic was like, this is like...

Like the card like this is like, oh, we never get this. You're going to be like the happiest ever, whatever. She goes, there's about four really bad cards in here and I never get them. And we just got one. And I just look at her. She looks at me and she's like, how's your crippling depression? And I was like, it was like a movie when she flipped it. It was just like all daggers.

And she was like, oh. She also prefaced it being like, I'm not going to tell you that you're going to die. Yeah. But it's going to be close. She was like, I'm not going to tell you anything, like, truly, truly bad because I can't see, like, names, dates. Yes. And she said that everything...

It's not like set in stone. Yes. Like you have the power not to prevent things, but to change the narrative, the course of certain things. And that's why like I think she was amazing. Like I think she was very accurate, but she literally does this horrible card. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like I was having like a slow morning. I think this is a lot to handle. And she was just like, you're going to have a full mental break.

but then after all your dreams are going to come true. And I was like, okay, so a Monday. One of my favorite things that she said was that we can't have mental breakdowns in the same time frame. Like, because it just wouldn't be good for either of us. Imagine us in the green room. No, if you were, like, dealing with panic attacks and anxiety right now, I'd...

We'd have to cancel the tour. There's just no way we'd be able to do it. There was a meme about best friends just have to lose their fucking mind on different days. Yeah, it's so true. So then we're already feeling a little...

open sword. Paige is definitely vulnerable and Paige goes, let's do past life regressions. This is going to be fun. Let's clear the energy, clear the air. Were we best friends? Was I a princess or a ballerina? I was like, I think I was an Amazonian woman and she was like,

No, let me... Let's do a meditation first. We have to, like, open our hands up, like, put them, like, toward the sky. We've never been quiet for 10 seconds in a row. Wait, didn't you... Okay, wait. Were you laughing when I was breathing loud? No, but I couldn't focus because I was laughing inside about, like, what are you focusing on? I knew you were because I was laughing about you listening to me and my deep breathing because you weren't breathing. Because she was like, okay...

close your eyes put your palms like facing the sky and then picture a bright purple light like going did she say going through your head she was like going up to the sky yeah something and like shooting out of the atmosphere and whatever and when she said that I don't know why I was just like I wonder what Hannah's version of that is in her head because Hannah's never done trumes so I was tripping at that point I was tripping

And what did she say to you? She was like, I thought that your past life was going to come through first because I'm a Scorpio, which I like don't. I should have asked what the fuck does that mean? But I didn't. And she was like, but actually Hannah's is coming through. So we start with Hannah's. And she was like, do you like bright colors? And I was like, I think so. And she's like, OK, I think every person you were in a past life was a man. And I was like, no!

Why? But then she looks at me and she's like... Which, like, you give gay man vibes. Well, this is the thing. She goes...

She said, you as a woman in this life don't understand why you can't do things that men do. And that's like your purpose in this life. And I was like, literally nailed it. That's all I care about. And I was like, what kind of man? And she goes, a flamboyant British gay man who was very rich, just prancing around. She kept saying the word dandy. Dandy. And I was just like, what the fuck is that? And his wife was miserable because he didn't love her. Right, because he was gay. And he was just like having anal all over England.

And then he eventually met an older man. Who he truly loved. Who he truly loved. So I'm like, yes, this is me. She said you had an easy life. Like you had like a not be not in terms because you were in the closet. I struggled because I was in the closet, but I was fabulous. And she did say if anyone found out that you were gay, you would have been killed.

So it was like on the outside seemed good, but I had some inner turmoil. Yeah. To make myself more interesting. But you were rich. You didn't work. Yeah. I was fabulous. You just like died of old age. So I'm just laughing and envisioning myself, you know, prancing around London. And I'm like. And then I'm like, okay, DuPage. DuPage. Was she a ballerina? Tell me what she was. And like we definitely were connected. Like maybe I.

I was this gay man's best friend and we just like trolloped around. Yes, trolloped. And she turns to me and she's just like, oh, okay, I get why your lives like weren't like coming up really quickly and it's because they were so sad. It gets quiet. You were so sad. And I'm still envisioning myself with a banjo. Like I'm loving life. No, Hannah's like has a top hat, is like prancing through the streets with a cane. Mary Poppins. Kissing men in like alleyways.

And so she's like, you're... You were so sad. All of your lives, you were very poor, just sad. And she was like, but your saddest life is you had, like, so many children. And unfortunately, they all died. And I'm just like...

jaw on the floor. I'm just like, okay. Meanwhile, I'm being gay and she's like, your kids didn't even die of cholera. Like, it was a sniffle. Like, it was wiped them all out. And it must have been, like, honestly, it had to have been something like the plague or some type of sickness where they just all got it and then all died at the same time. She said that I, like, blamed myself a lot and I was like, okay, well, like, what did I do after? Like, what was my life like?

after that and she was like oh no you then died she was like you died of heartbreak and it wasn't your fault but you just couldn't live on and we were just sitting there like dying of heartbreak is so main character though like it's so

You know what's so crazy is because I feel like every time I've ever heard a story of people that truly do die of heartbreak, I'm like, no, I get it. Like, I've always understood that because I do feel like your brain and your body are so much more powerful than people think. And like, it can trick you into like, no, we're dying. Des and I aren't the same age, but if we were and I died first, if he didn't die immediately after from heartbreak, like, it was fake. No, it's not.

Like, literally forget that we were married. It wasn't real. No, I... So, like, I totally believe in that. Well, she even said, she's like, do you love kids? And you're like, I love... Like, I'll love my future kid, but right now I, like, I don't fuck with kids. And, like, I think it's... She was like, because you're triggered because kids have caused you so much pain in the past. And then she said, which was like... Grace is crying at this point. Grace is in tears. Oh, yeah, Grace is fully in tears because of... Well, I look over and she's like...

Just all my children. And she was putting an emphasis on, like, you loved being a mom. Like, being a mom in every life for you was, like, the best thing ever. Like, you loved being a mom. And she was like, and there's this little boy that keeps, like, popping through. So, like, I was like,

basically being like, when you get pregnant, I'm coming back to you. Like, you are my mom. She kept going, this little boy is ready because he's going to be your best friend. Then I started to get emotional. No, I started to get emotional too because I was picturing like this little boy being like, come on, mom. Like, I want to like hang out with you again, which is just so freaky. And she even said wear a condom because he's like really ready. No.

That was insane. And she was like, you love being a mom, Hannah, you love being a bottom. Um...

I feel like you also, like, played with wearing jewelry, but you tried to make it in, like, a masculine way. Like, I wish I could. I was like, it's a new thing. And they're like, you just are being flamboyant. I'd love to hear, like, past Hannah's lies to be like, it's not gay. And you know what's so funny? People make fun of me that I think everyone's gay. Yeah. And I think it's, I feel so.

so connected to the gay community. Yeah. Like, I can't explain it. Like, I am gay, but I happen to like dick, but I'm gay. But I love dick, but I am so gay. And now it makes sense. But it's funny because I feel like gay men like you. I love gay men. Gay men...

The real ones love me. Yeah. Who like give me a chance. But like first look, they're go for Paige. Well, I think I like I think I get along with gay men so well because I'm a diva, but I also feel like I don't have that many like girly, girly friends that are like as girly as I am.

And I feel like with gay men, I get the girly vibe with also having, I need a little testosterone. Like I need a little more like. Yes.

Like, say it how it is. Yes. Like, call you out in a minute type energy. Yes. But then you're like, okay, let's move on. Did we know each other? Were we best friends in every life? Like, did we, what was our relationship? I'm like, maybe my gay bestie helped me through the drama and, like, gave me some money and, like, helped me out. And she was like, yes. Oh, my gosh. We did know each other.

I'm feeling like you work together. And it could have been any life. I'm like, okay, amazing. We work together. We have always been doing this in life. We've been coming up with businesses and just making each other laugh. She's like, I'm seeing you making jokes on a stage together. She's like, Hannah stole all your money. I'm like, so I have no kids, no prospects. I'm about to croak, and I'm homeless. I'm using your money for dildos. I'm like, I'm going to go to the gym.

I also am envisioning you like throwing all these parties and like me like walking by. It's giving great gatsby. Well, you keep putting it in the same lifetime. She was talking about many different ones. So it possibly wasn't that one. I kept putting it in like the same. I was like, I don't know why I was expecting to get a life. Then I started being so introspective about it because I'm like, I wish we got a lifetime that was in like this century. Yeah.

Like, I feel like the way she was talking, it was, like, the 1600s. So just my mind kept going there. It was really, really fascinating. Oh, wait, she did say that your, like, soul takes a long time to come back to, like, the physical world. Because she said my lives are, like, stressful. Yeah. But that I love being a soul, like, up there.

Yeah. But how you're always on Earth. Yeah, like I come back really quickly. I must like be trying to learn something. You're trying to find. Well, it's not going to happen this lifetime, let me tell you. Maybe next time. That makes so much sense because you're so stubborn. So the universe keeps throwing you back where I feel like I feel like my soul is like, no, OK, I'll get it right this time. Give me a minute. So, yeah, we got into the Uber. We were quiet for 30 minutes.

Just processing everything. Then I was like going back and forth. I was like, okay, is that real? Because going into it, I'm like, no, I believe in this stuff. And then in the car ride home, I'm like, I actually believe in God. Fully like...

Turn to God at the end of it. It was like, God, Jesus Christ, if you're here, please just tell me the things that were true. And I'm like, I feel like God, if there's a God, he's busy. Like he's dealing with wars right now. He's not like did Paige the Sorbo like her Salem reading that told her that she lost all her children. So in the rest of the day. Wait, wait, we forgot this part. So she's also she's a psychic medium. So we're like any what about like the medium stuff? Because that's truly like what I like.

And she was like, you guys have a lot of spirits around you. So she goes to me first and she was like, yours are definitely related to you. And she's like kind of explaining things. And I'm like, yes, this could be and this could be this and this could be that. And we thought it might be your grandpa. And I was like, this feels like it's my grandpa for sure. Like the way she was like physically explaining him. And I'm looking at Grace being like, get ready. My grandpa's going to come. My grandpa I'm obsessed with. Grandpa, I'm here. I was like, Hannah, oh.

all Hannah needed to hear was the word grandpa and she was like mine is here I'm ready what does he need to tell me and she's like Hannah you have a lot of spirits around you and I was like I know including my grandpa

And she goes, none of what you know or are related to that you just have like random people. She was like, you got a gang gang around you. She's like, but she made it like these spirits are not all good. And she was like, she did. She basically was like, there's a lot of spirits around you all the time. And I'm like, you know, sometimes I'll be in a hotel room and I'll smell a fart. And I'm like, I don't think that was me. Anyway, she goes, you do have like this woman who's like in her 40s.

And I didn't know any women who died. I talked to my mom after. No way. My mom's. Because she said this one does feel like it's related to you. Yeah. She said in her 40s. And I'm like, I don't know any women in my family who died in their 40s. She said my grandpa's.

Mom's mom died in childbirth, like, late childbirth. And she had, like, 10 kids, and it was, like, she was, like, 37. Oh, my gosh. So it could be her, but she said, she's protecting you from, like, a lot of spirits around you. And then I was, like, where's my grandpa? Okay, not to get, like...

to like cuckoo, woo woo, whatever. When I moved into my last apartment, like in Midtown, there were these, like the day I moved in, there were these two birds that sat on my balcony the entire day I moved in. And I was like, oh, that's like, I believe in that stuff. I feel like that's a sign. And then when I moved into my new apartment, like the days after I moved in, I had two pigeons that literally didn't leave the

like, windowsill. And so I truly do feel like that's, like, spirits and stuff. I do have kind of a crazy story. Also, New York City is overloaded with pigeons. There's also a pigeon problem in New York City.

And they think they own everything. I had a weird story about, like, Des and I have this house in West Hampton that this previous family owned. And they were really, like, this beautiful family. And they gave us this letter when we got the house about how, like, the son had passed away in the family. And how he, like, loved tennis. And he also loved, like...

Hollywood and stuff and how like he would have been so happy that like we're the people that are in the house. Oh my god. And the first day we're in the house we look outside in the backyard and there's a fox like running through and like

You don't see foxes in the daytime. Yeah. Like it's not a thing. And my mom was there and I'm like, mom, are foxes like all over West Hampton? She's like, this is very weird. Yeah. From that day, we never saw a fox again. And she thinks it was the brother saying like, welcome. Wait, like running on the tennis court? Running on the tennis court. Wait, that's insane. And like, I've never. No, I believe in that stuff. I was there all summer. I never saw a fox again. I believe in that stuff when it's good. And when it's bad, I believe in God. We believe in God. We turn to God.

I did say a prayer before we went in there. Yeah, you were trying to protect us. Because I was like, I don't need any spirits coming home with us. I have enough demons that I can visualize, see, and interact with. The rest of the day, like, whenever we, like, made fun of Paige, she was like, my children died. My children perished. And then whenever you made fun of me, I was like, please don't be homophobic. I was like, please keep your homophobia to yourself.

Literally, this is insane. No, when she started saying like, oh my God, you love fashion. You love bright colors. I know. I was like, I think I'm lazy with outfits nowadays because I put so much effort into fashion when I was a dandy. And I've been a woman in every life. Yes. You were a suffragette. I was a suffragette. She said that I fought for women's rights. That's why you're so tired this life. I get it. It's like, how many years can I be doing it? Speaking of, everyone vote.

I literally just sent in my absentee ballot. I have to get my absentee ballot from the mail, which we talked about. I'm going to be honest. Mail. What are you about to say? Like, I'm not stupid, but, like, when you have something from the government come to your home... Yeah.

I don't know why it feels like if you mess it up, the police will knock on your door like immediately. No, it's citizen homework and you feel like you're going to fail. I'm like, what if I write in the wrong spot? Like I had to reread it. It's literally three steps and I reread it seven times to make sure I signed my signature where I was supposed to sign my signature because all I could

picture is like someone in like a registrar's office like opening it and being like she's an idiot. I'm like

While I was doing it, I was like, there are so many people that like open this up and are like, no. Absolutely not. Like absolutely not. No one prepares you for government stuff. Famously, my first job. Do you remember the first time you ever had to fill out like a W-2 or something? And one of the questions was, do you want to pay city tax? I thought it was like, how do you feel? So I was like, I don't want to. Oh, no. So I checked out the box.

So fast forward, I had like an accountant do my taxes and I was making like no money at the time. And he called me and he's like, are you sitting down? And I was like, why? And he goes, you owe the government $6,000. And I was like, why? And he goes, you checked, you didn't want to pay city taxes. Don't you know you have to pay city taxes? I go, I thought they were asking like if I wanted to. I thought they were asking my opinion. I thought that was really polite. I got all the city taxes.

literally legally blonde. You're like, Delaware, no sales tax. That's a good one. Oh my God. So now my dad will not let me live it down. But look, they should like, that's, what was I going to say? Yes. I don't want to pay it. No, it's literally the same as when like you first start taking standardized tests as like a little kid and like filling those out used to give me such anxiety. I don't know why. When you go out of the box.

When you had to bubble in each letter of your name. They were like, if you get the circle wrong, like, it doesn't count and you're upset. And, like, people in your class that, like, their name was too long to fit in all the squares. And, like, I was like, oh, my God, that's a crazy journey. I can't even. Yeah. PTSD from school. No PTSD from school.

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Monday.com, for whatever you run. Go to Monday.com to learn more. Oh, also shout out, something very funny happened at the live shows. My favorite memory was we do a Q&A at the end, and there's always a wide variety of questions. Some girls raise their hand, they don't think they're going to get picked on. They do. They're like, I don't have a question. I didn't know I was going to get picked on. Honestly, the Q&A is so giggly quoted. It's so chaotic. And I wouldn't want it to be any other way because it's truly...

It's truly like being in school and you're not paying attention. And all the kids are drunk. And all of a sudden the teacher asks you a question. You're like, I didn't prepare. Then one girl did like, she just tore us apart like in the funniest way. She was like, let's do a never have I ever. Have you ever shot yourself in a bodega? Have you ever cried on reality TV? We were like, okay, okay.

Okay, I forgot about that. And then some girls would just tell like crazy stories. Yeah. Or like take a dig at my outfit. Which I give girls a lot of credit because to stand up in front of 3,000 people that you don't know and tell your deepest like darkest thing that's happened. Someone stood up and told us like their worst sex story ever. Yeah. And we were like this is a

Q&A. Yeah, but then afterwards, like, she actually, everyone laughed really hard and I was like, I was nervous for you and you nailed it. No, she did a great job. My favorite moment is I'm looking like Grace is picking people, they're raising their hands and then I see a crutch. Someone took their crutch and was just pointing it in the air for Grace to pick on them. There was like multiple people on crutches. And then another person starts putting their crutch and then someone tagged us on Instagram with crutches and they go, I wasn't sure if I was Hannah or Paige coded and I realized I'm Descoded. Yeah.

Wait, that's so... Some of you people are raising their crutches to get picked on, which I like a little creativity. No, the girls have been amazing. Craig made a cameo. Craig made a cameo. My parents made a cameo. Can you tell them what your dad said?

Okay. Well, before I look up, I look to him. By the way, I'm the one that's like, let's get these people on stage. And Paige is like, we don't need to complicate things. I'm like, no, it's hilarious. So I'm like, I don't want to stress anyone out. I don't want to add more admin to anything. I don't like. See, I like to. And you're like, let's see what happens. Let's fuck shit up. I'm like, let's plan it. So I'm like, Gary, do you want to go on stage? And Paige is like, look, I don't think he can handle that.

And he's like, what? He said, what are you talking about? I can freaking go out there. I can go out there. Oh, come on. I'll go out on stage. I got it. I can do it. And I'm like, okay, dad, I'm just going to let you know I've resorted to medicine for this exact reason. So I'm going to go with your flow, but. But he's so cute. He watches the whole show backstage. I can feel him panting.

pacing backstage. I'm making eye contact. He's always in a different spot backstage, but smiling. He's laughing. He's also so dad coded in terms of like, I can feel him looking at the way the lights are put up in the ceiling, looking at all like the different like technician things that are happening. Yeah. He's our creative director who doesn't speak. No, truly. So he's watching and we do, it was at one point in the Izzy trash and I was like,

let's bring out someone who isn't trash. Oh, we talk about the dads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, let's bring out Gary DeSorbo. He comes out. And there's a roar. An uproar. An uproar. He, during the headlights. Yep. I could see his face get immediately white. Immediately pale. And then I kind of offer him the mic to say, like, what's up, gigglers? He immediately. Do at least say hi. Just hi. You don't have to give a speech. No, you don't have to crack a joke. Just say, what's up, gigglers? Hello.

He immediately runs off stage. He literally puts his hand up like, don't even think about handing me that microphone. I came out for a week. He was Princess Diana at our show. He was our Princess Diana. He came out. He waved. He walked off. He walked off. We got on stairs. I go, what? What happened? What happened? I thought you were going to do a big grand finale. I thought you were Countess Luanne and your show was starting next. Cabaret.

He was like, wow, that was scary. That was, you got to be different to do that. I go, yeah, I'm mentally ill. Truly. We get back the next night. I'm like getting a little anxious before and he goes, you know, just pretend you're Frank Sinatra.

And Hannah's Dean Martin. I go, you want us to be drunk men from the 60s who perform Christmas songs? Like, what is the correlation between us and the Rat Pack? Like, I don't, I'm like, were you even born?

I'm like, I know that I wasn't. That was the most Italian shit he could have ever said. He couldn't think of any other like current celebrities that go out on a stage. He went fully old school. You're Frank, I'm Dean. For sure. Maybe we were Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin in a past life. Honestly, you never know. But I know that I wasn't French royalty, which is what I really was hoping for. You're really upset. No, you're really upset.

I'm just, like, I'm a little let down by myself. You know? I'm, like, a little, like, making the work a little harder. You're disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself. We did have so much fun at the shows, and you crushed it. Like, you're feeling yourself again. You're doing great. No, I'm definitely feeling...

a lot better. I can't say enough good things about beta blockers. And also I think knowing here's another thing that I truly do believe like a little bit placebo effect, even though I have been taking them before the shows. And like, I recommend if you do feel like this, like taking them before you like have to talk at work or like whatever, um,

Even knowing I have them in my bag is like another comfort. Which is true to my personality. I need a backup plan. You know, if there's one thing about me, I need to have multiple escape routes. Yeah.

Like, I don't know if in a bad life I was trapped somewhere because I need to know I can leave, go home, sedate myself at any point. It's all like playing games with yourself because anxiety is like you're playing a game with your own mind, but you're losing. This is actually kind of blunt and fucked up, but like I was walking here and I thought about it because I was thinking about the patriarchy. I think about how TikTok and all these places are just like telling women like all the things we have to do physically for ourselves. Like,

Like, with our hair and our skin and our bodies and da-da-da. And I'm like, whatever happened to focusing about your personality? Wait. Like, whatever happened to, like, working on your aura?

And your energy. No, it's really. That you bring to the function. Yeah. Because I swear to God, the rest, like, really comes with it. Right. Like, you know how many people look so pretty on Instagram and are so shitty? And, like, you're like, how could that person be single? And it's like, have you ever talked to them before? Have you ever looked at pictures of yourself, like, when you were truly having, like, a really good time? And you looked.

look way prettier than times that like you're smiling in the picture, but you weren't having a good time and like you look uglier. Yes. No, it's fucking real. And I do think there's so many people that are working so hard on their looks when it's like work on like,

Listen to funny podcasts. Surround yourself with interesting people that make you feel good about yourself. Consume content that's positive and interesting. Get a passion for something. Get a cat. These things enhance your... This is just a speech to subliminally message the gigglers to get cats.

What I'm saying, do things enhance your aura? And it really does help. Because I really feel like sometimes girls feel like my life is over once my skin starts to sag a little. And it's like, have you ever seen Meryl Streep? That bitch is gold.

Glowing. Truly. Truly glowing. I also feel like we are doing that on tour because we've been pushing ourselves to go and like do something in whatever city we're in. Yeah. And I'm like proud about it. No, I'm actually so proud because normally I'm just in the hotel room like, you know, in your own thoughts or sleeping. Yeah. But I do have to say when you're doing the self-care shit...

It's equally as important to, like, fulfill your stuff. Yeah. Fill your cup as... You said something before and then I was going to say something and now I forgot. I said something about aura. Work on your personality. Doesn't mean a shit. Just hearing that sentence.

No one ever works on their personality. No one ever does. When actually that's the reason 95% of people are single. That phrase is not said enough. Like in therapy, why don't you work on your own person, like work on your personality? One thing that I love about Irish and British people is they're obsessed with

or, like, the crack. Yeah. Which is, like, they'll meet someone and having good crack means, like, you can make fun of yourself and, you know, take yourself seriously and you have good back and forth. And, like, you ever date a guy and you're like, he's great, but he's missing something? Yeah. He's missing the crack. Yes. Well, I feel like Americans...

I don't want to make this an American English thing, but I feel like Americans are very list-oriented, especially when we date. Because I feel like as women, we're so organized. So, like, when we are dating, we're like, do we have this? Do we have that? Do we have... Great. It should... Scientifically, this should work. Where maybe Europeans are a little bit more lax and they're like, no, let's...

Let's see if we even vibe. Let's see what the vibes are. Where we're more like we need to accomplish. Yeah, work on your vibe and less on your pore, like how big your pores are. Yeah. That's like my advice. But also, I love working on how big my pores are. Well, because I feel like you like to put all your anxiety into your skin. Yes. Like you're like, this mask will solve all my problems. And then you're like, what?

I literally, before we started recording, wrote on my to-do list tonight, overnight math. Yeah, that's insane.

I'm not fixing anything. Nothing. I make this gig for me to work on my stress levels all overnight mask tonight. Anyway, what is this overnight mask if the gigglers are interested? It's that TikTok one, but I get mine on Amazon. Is it the one that like peels off? This is where there are certain moments where I'm like, oh, I'm like such a millennial. And like, you know how it's like millennials need to do big purchases on a desktop? Like we have to put like flights on.

Okay, my version of that is I can't really buy things on TikTok shop because I feel like it's fake. So do I. So like I'll get the thing I want on TikTok shop and then I'll go to Amazon, type it in and buy it from Amazon. Or I buy it on Instagram shop.

Instagram shop, I've only ever purchased like clothes and it's really connected to like my Revolve account. Yes, exactly. Also, I have a question for you because some people read books, which I'm very impressed by. I'm so proud of that. But I was thinking, who's reading more? These people who read books or me putting captions on every TV show, closed captions. Am I reading more? Does that count? Yeah.

No one talks about it, but Mitch has been reading. Okay. I'm so glad you're bringing this to the forefront, especially during this time in our nation. Alex Cooper is somewhere interviewing Kamala, and we're like, have we really dissected? I actually was going to advertise the hug to a girl, but it was like the day Alex Cooper was doing Kamala. Because I was going to be like, I got the best interview ever, and then I was like, oh, wait. Which...

Don't forget what you were going to say. You were going to say something important. You literally set it all up. What were we talking about? My brain is fried. I'll say one thing while you're remembering. The Hak Tua girl, I did her podcast. She is my favorite. Because I actually was off TikTok during the week she went viral. So when I got back on, it was people just commenting about how she's so viral. I was kind of fascinated by it. She was working at a factory. Like,

living in the middle of nowhere in Tennessee. Working at a factory? Like, what kind of factory? I don't know the details. Okay. She had quit college, and she was just out with her friends, and then she says this funny thing, hak tuan, that thing, and laughs. I don't think, this is kind of crazy. I don't think I've ever even seen the original video. No, because it grew bigger than itself so quickly. But I met her, and, like, she's just, like,

This sweet, naturally very funny person. But it's funny. They took the video and made it this like sexual thing. Yeah. When it's like I told she's for the girls. Yeah. Like that's something we would say. And the girls would die laughing. And me and her were joking because I don't like spit. I think spit is like disgusting. And you. Yeah. I hate spit. Like.

And then we were talking about orgasms and all this. I was like, this is the world you're in. But unfortunately, it turned into like you being objectified by all these dudes. And anyway, just shout out to her. She's funny. She's charitable. And she's just like trying to survive. Wow. I've never heard you describe someone as charitable. And that was really nice. She donates. She literally was like, she donates all her money. That's crazy.

That's so nice. And she was like, I never had money. Now that I'm making some money, I want to give it to people in need. And meanwhile, people are giving her hate on the internet for getting famous. And I'm like, there's worse famous people out there than the hawk to a girl. You know what I hate is when people are like, we're making the wrong people famous. Who do you want famous? Give me someone that you want famous. Like, shut up. Yeah. And also, it's like,

Everyone's famous nowadays. Everyone's famous. If you want to be famous, you can be famous. Just start posting. Make a TikTok. Make one TikTok and it's fine. It's back to school season and we're still adjusting to new routines, getting back in the swing of things. And one thing that's really helping is never having to go to the grocery store. I do all my grocery shopping with Fresh Direct. It's farm to kitchen and everything is sourced directly from farmers, fishermen, and ranchers. I'm

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Hey, gorgeous gigglers. When we're not podcasting, we're serving looks at different events. Or stand-up shows. While changing up our hairstyle is really fun, it's also very damaging. We're talking frizz, breakage, split ends. Hannah always needs to be brushing her hair, which is...

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Did you guys know that a new study recently came out that the first new nutritional deficiency in 75 years was

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Did you remember what you were going to say when you said, the country is in shambles? The country is divided right now into two very distinct groups. One group is people that love... What's it called? Subtitles. Subtitles. People that love subtitles. And then it's people that are...

so purely enraged by them, they can't watch the show if you're a subtitles person. Yes, Des hates the subtitles. I identify as a subtitles person because I'm multitasking. I'm looking up. Maybe something on my phone is also going off at the same time. It gives us two ways to understand what's going on. I'm not great at critical thinking. I'm not great at...

What's it called? Processing anything. I'm not high, but like I literally feel high. Consuming. Oh, focusing on one thing. No, I'm not good at... Forming sentences. What's it called? Reading comprehension. Okay.

Oh, so it's like. So I need to hear it and I also need to read it. Do you know when people will, Des said he did that in China when he was learning Mandarin. Yeah. He put it, so you're like learning English. I'm learning my first language again. I'm falling in love with relearning my first language. This is going to sound dumb, but like I was watching Slow Horses and it's like this British show that's like really complicated spies and they speak really fast. I'm putting the subtitles. Yeah.

The only thing I'm not putting subtitles in, and me and my brother have talked about this because he's also a fan of subtitles, is when we watch stand-ups. Yeah, because stand-up, the subtitles give away the joke. It's faster, yeah. It gives away the joke. And so it ruins the whole— It ruins the timing. You're so fucking right. But if you're watching anything else, I think it adds to it. Yeah, 100%. Because I actually think we miss a lot. We've read—

So many shows. Wait, no, like we are avid bookworms. So anyway, welcome to our book club. Today, we recommend... What are we recommending? Wait, actually, I did just watch something before I got here and it was so you coded. I was like, sweet Bobby. Oh, is that the... The girl that got catfished? I was trying to watch it last night and I passed out before it started. Oh.

It's really good. Wait, I'm so excited. I'm going to watch it tonight. She basically gets... Don't give away what happens. Okay, she doesn't just get catfished. She gets catfished by like a whole... By like a whole...

ring of like people multiple times it's just no they're all connected they're all in on it but it's all the catfish yeah so she has this whole network of people of like guy friends female friends like family members of the friends oh they created a new universe for her yes like an alternate reality and it was just this one catfish and it was like 10 years of this woman's life and it's

And then when you figure out, like, who it is, it's so crazy. You're going to love it. Wow. I'm really excited to watch it. I know it was a successful podcast back in the day. Oh, I didn't know that. I actually watched, I think it was on Amazon. Do you know who Die Antwoord is? No. Die Antwoord? No. Do you know who they are, Chris? Oh, look at Chris. I thought you just said Giggly. I just put it on. So they're this South African group.

Okay. And it's this guy who's a rapper named Ninja. Okay. And the girl... All I can think of is like... What's her name? 90 Day Fiance. The one guy that was... You're a South African. Soldier Boy. It's like, we already have a Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy. Nobody brought that up enough. Nobody brought that up enough. You can't just be Walmart Soldier Boy. Yeah, you can't just like... We already have one. There's a Jiggly Squad. Yeah.

So it's Ninja and this girl. They fall in love. And they love making music together. Her name is Yolandi. Yeah, so she has this high, really cool voice. And he's a rapper. So they are making music together. And they're broke. They have no money. And they're just making music. Nothing's happening. They love each other. Love each other. She gets pregnant. Still have no money. They have a baby. Okay.

No money, have a baby, making music, and they're just obsessed with music. But like... Are they working?

No. I think she might have been working. So then... They're really trying to make their dreams come true in the music industry. So then she sees this guy and she thinks he's really cool. He has like a certain like aesthetic to him. And Ninja gets jealous that she thinks that this guy is cool. So then he changes his whole aesthetic to be like this guy. And it's a bit... There's like a word to the aesthetic. I forget what it is. Yeah. And they kind of lean into this like new identity of theirs. And they make this new kind of sound. Yeah.

They put it out. This was like back in the day, like 07 or 08. So they put it out on the internet, just like on a website and nothing happens.

And then a couple days later, it starts to pop off. Like it starts to go viral. Like a song? A song and a music video. And they put all their money into it. It blows up so big. It's called Enter the Ninja. Everyone should watch it. They're crazy. Like it's like weird and dark, but like artsy. Like how old are they?

At this time when they put this song out. I think they're in their 20s. And I know this happened at like 2008, 2009. By 2013, I was watching it on YouTube. So it took a while to get to like America. Okay. But they like blew up. Wait, I need to like see a picture of them. It's crazy. No, I don't like them. So no, they're like wild. Wild.

So they start getting like all this hate. Yeah. Because people are like, this is weird. This is bad for South Africa. Okay. But they're blowing up. They go, they're doing all this stuff together. And then they're finally famous and rich. Okay. Their dreams come true.

But they're breaking up because they start getting jealous. Of each other. Of each other. Okay. And then, long story short, they end up back together. And it was a beautiful love story and a good documentary. And they're very interesting artists. Oh, so it's just about their life. Yeah.

I thought you were going to say one of them, like, dies and, like... I know. That wasn't fun. No one died. No one... I'm so sorry. No one forget dies? But it's also from the lens of their daughter telling the story. Oh, interesting. And the daughter actually got them back together. Oh, she's a little parent trap. But isn't this so... It's so funny to me when people are, like, poor and their dreams aren't coming true, but their relationship is so good, and then their dreams come true and they're rich and you think it solves everything, but it actually is the worst thing for their relationship. No. I still...

I still can't really, like, love Chris, what's his name? Chris, shoot, who is married to Anna Faris. Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt. I don't know why they're such a specific, like, they're not even that, I feel like they weren't even, like, that famous of a couple that they've, like, stuck in my brain. That, like, she was more famous, then he popped off, and then he left her. Like, I will just never get over that. Fame changes things, but I also think it depends if you like to party. Yeah.

You're so right. I think it's the people that like to party that it changes things. Because otherwise, if you just stay in your house, nothing changes. Nothing changes if... Nothing changes. Nothing changes if you don't change your location. Nothing changes if you don't turn your location off. No, like once you've walked through the door of like, I don't party anymore, you really can't go back. And anyone who's still there, you can't like...

So you're like, sorry, we don't have the same interests anymore. There's this whole life of like people wanting to get famous. So they get like tables at clubs. Like I've never even tried to get a table except at my bachelorette, which you got. Because when I first moved to New York, I was like, my goal is to go to every single club.

If the doorman doesn't know me at every club, I'm a loser. The only doorman who knew me were in Murray Hill because I would watch fantasy football on Sundays at... Jimmy John's? Jimmy John's. Wait. And Haley worked there as a bartender. What year would that have been? Tell me what year you would have gone to Jimmy John's. 2016, 2017.

Every Sunday. And Haley worked there as a bartender. And when I'd go on a date... 2016, 2017. 2018. Oh, okay. So I would have been there 2015, 2016. Okay, we could have overlapped and I would bring a date there and not tell them I knew the bartender and she would, like, judge the date. Why was...

Jimmy John's iconic. Why was Jimmy John's like your entrance into the New York City party scene where it was like... I love how that's where I started and ended though. That's where you started and ended and I feel like that's where I started and I took a real turn to be like...

I'm a club rat. You'll never see me at a bar like this ever again. It's like weed. It's a... It's a gateway drug. It's a gateway drug. But because it was all just like... Because it was so many guys concentrated in one spot. You couldn't go anywhere else that had this many dumb men. It's because I had two dumb roommates who... We were on flag football teams. We were on volleyball teams. So we'd go to Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's. Not Jimmy John's. Is it called Jimmy John's? I don't know. Did we actually just make up that name? Jimmy John's is a sandwich company. Dang.

Wait, what are we talking about? What are we talking about? Here's the crazy thing. We're talking about the same place. What if I'm just talking about a sandwich? Where the fuck are we talking about? We're talking about

What did you say before? Jimmy Joes? Chris, do you not know what we're talking about? You guys are of the age. You should be there. You know why I love Giggly Squad so much? Because once you leave college, you know like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day and everything's funny and you're just like, I never want to leave this place. Like this is the best day of my life. Like we're all in our jammies eating food and like everything's hilarious. No one cares about you.

That is Giggly Squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick. You're just silly. But you're a little sick in the head. But we're thinking it's cute. And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh, that's scary. Did you ever go to Bonk? I didn't go to Bonk. It's called Bank, but they spelled it B-A-N-Q-U-E. And it was like on the corner of Bro J's Bro J's. Brother Jimmy's. Yes! Have you ever called Jimmy John's?

Bro J's. Brother Jimmy's. Wait. I'm speechless. You were there a lot? Yeah, I was there a lot. Were you on in Murray Hill, that one? Yes.

Yes. And like around the corner was like the barrel saloon where like everyone that went to Syracuse went there. Would you ever go downstairs and like shoot the basketball? Of course. I met some of my best friends in that bathroom downstairs, I feel like. I fear. That's where like, that's where my, oh my God, I love meeting girls in the bathroom. That bathroom. Bro J's bathroom was. Then like there was like 205 Club. See, I never went to the clubs.

Because I don't like loud music. It wasn't like a real club. It was like in a basement. But I would think it was, I feel like it was like bro gyms and then like the next two years it was like... Bro J's. Hailey was a bartender there. That's crazy. I definitely met Hailey then I feel like at some point. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

You ever think of like our whereabouts? Like I want to see it written down Manhattan of us from the moment you moved to Manhattan. Yeah. Like where we were every day and if we ever were like in the same building. Or like walk down the street. Yeah. You just want like a love story of us. It's like what is our invisible string theory? No. As Kim said. What are you wearing? Yeah.

The wise words of my mother, what the fuck are you wearing? Kim liked my outfit recently, so I'm on a high. But she'll bring you right back to earth. Oh, yeah. She keeps me on my toes. I want to impress her, but I also know that part of her thinks it's cute when I don't dress well. Yeah, she loves that. She loves you being you. Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We had a lot of, you know, tour recaps to do. We're having so much fun on the tour. Madison, go Badgers, Milwaukee, Miami.

I can't tell you how excited I am to go to Madison, Wisconsin.

I'm going to be annoying. I'm going to be like, that corner I did this. No, I want you to be. That restaurant we did this. I want you to be. I'm very excited. I feel like I've been saying go Badgers for four years of my life now. When I tell you the passion for the Badgers in this town is unreal. It's crazy. Do you guys have a live Badger? Do you have any statues of Badgers? We have statues all over the place of Badgers.

And I don't think PETA allowed like an actual badger. Oh, okay. I think they're also like very dangerous. Oh. Yeah. The African honey badger. Heck yeah, they are. Heck freaking yeah, they are. Scariest animal in the world. We literally used to say that. We're like, are badgers? Scariest animal. Google it. African honey badger. Rip your fucking head off. You're like, okay, it's a rodent. Imagine it was like the New York City hippos. Hippopotamuses are actually super fucking dangerous. Read a book.

Okay. Thank you, guys. We love you guys. Bye. Bye.