Giggling about breakups, broad shoulders, and trampolines
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They just got away from me. Hello, my demure gigglers. No, you know what's so funny is that like now trends last a day. No, it's kind of sad because some shit is really good and you're like this should have lasted a year and then some stuff is so stupid and you're like, no, everything's pretty good. All the trends are pretty good. No, it's just crazy. Like now I feel...

You know what's really nuts that happened to me the other day? I described someone as being millennial. I was like, they're just so millennial. You've turned on your own.

The call is coming from inside the house. I literally, I've had seven Gen Z gigglers being like, you don't give millennial. And all of a sudden I'm like, ew, millennials. We think we're above millennial and like we should be checked into a facility because that's not okay. I will, I identify as Gen Z and I came for the Gen Zs yesterday on Instagram. Did you see? Well, no. What did you do? I had a wild post on Instagram yesterday.

So I've been trying to be quiet and demure on Instagram since Netflix special because I was like, let's calm down. Like you've been in everyone's face promoting. I'm like, let's try to be more page. Like just disappear. No, I haven't posted. And then last night I was posting about shout out Radio City. No, shout out. I love how we've changed subjects 80 times in one sentence. We're having really bad ADHD today. The New York gigglers were like smug.

hey, how y'all doing? Like, why don't you have a show for us yet? And I'm like, girls, how dare you think that we forgot about you? We just, we're dealing with some admin. It's actually so hard.

to get a new york city venue you have to book it like 42 months in advance no it's people talk about like trying to book something for their wedding this is harder literally i'm like this is why i can't get married i have a tour to book no and you everything's always booked so you have to like fight with other people to like book whatever anyway long story short radio city is on sale pre-sale code giggly it's in january let's fucking go it's gonna be in

I think we need to get it. No, I'm so excited. I literally feel like a Rockette. Should we get the Rockettes to come? I mean, if they're not busy, they might be having an off night. True. They're also, yeah, they're like women in STEM. They're very busy and flexible. I'd like a documentary on them next. Oh, that's actually so good. That's so true. It's...

It's basically Northern Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Yeah, it's the Northeast version. And I feel like it would be kind of crazy because also I always wondered, did the Rockettes beef with the ballerinas? That's what I want to know. Also, not to make it negative, but apparently all their bodies have to be the same.

which how the fuck do you even do that like they have to be the same height and like and they all have to be yeah and then like their legs probably have to be the same length do you know the only reason i can't be a rock head is because i have a long torso they're like that torso ratio is fucked up get out of here i also can't touch my toes no i was just gonna say you're literally the least flexible person i've ever met they're gumby on that stage i can't even touch my shin

No, that's kind of crazy. Have you always been like that? Yeah, and my brother could palm the floor without stretching. Men being flexible is like not okay. No, it's definite. I feel like we've spoken about this. Like who was the guy that did the splits? And I just... Wait, that was Ariana's boyfriend. Yeah, I want them to like literally have to go to the chiropractor because they're so unflexible.

Um, so anyway, I'm posting about Radio City and I go to the fonts and like, not to brag, because I feel like I was a little late to it. I got the new Instagram fonts, which no one wants. No one wants an update. Wait a minuto. Everyone's like, I want the update. And then you get it and everyone freaks out. And I, um, I know there's real issues going on in the world, but I projected them all into the fact that there's no Instagram font that I feel like

fits me why can I not tell if I have the new ones or not oh yeah I think I do do all of them seem insane do all of them seem like someone took ecstasy and was like not I don't know if I can't tell if I have the update or not honestly you were too focused on outfits you don't care about font I'm very fixated on font because the font affects how people read what you say

So true. So like there's one that I kind of thin that I think is creepy. And if you say something like cute outfit today, it reads as like cute outfit today. No, anything that looks like crayons. I'm like, that's for children. Yeah. I'm like, that's a little creepy. And then they have a full script one. So then I was like Gen Z legit can't read scripts. And I didn't. The Gen Z's got actually Grace commented. That's how you know.

She was offended. She's offended. I said Gen Z's can't read script, which they can't. That's just a fact. I thought that was a fact. Yeah. They don't, they didn't learn it. They didn't have like a writing class. Yeah. They didn't have like cursive. Yeah. So anyway, um,

Then there's like the true crime one, which is like the typewriter font, which looks like about to announce a murder. Yeah, it's very... It's very millennial. Everyone stay safe. Literally, I've been foaming at the mouth all week. I know. And I've been bringing it... No, I've been trying to bring it up to anyone. You know what's crazy? It's not really on my algorithm. If you don't know what we're talking about, Molly Mae and Tom Fury broke up and...

Here's why it was so significant to me. Oh my God, can I stop getting emails? Here's why it was so significant to me. Wait, I love how you're like, this is why it's about me. That season of Love Island saved our lives. Explain.

When that, when me and Hannah really first started getting into Love Island, we were filming Summer House season five, which was the end COVID season, the beginning of the end, which was probably scariest summer of our lives.

No, it was an insane asylum. Like I actually like called my mom at one point and was like, I think we're all having nervous breakdowns. Like I want to pull my hair out. I don't know what that means. I quit three times. But anyway, that season of Love Island like saved our lives because we sat there and watched the full season in like three days. It was actually so weird and should be. It was so meta because when we were not filming Summer House, we would go in our bed and just

binge Love Island to pretend we weren't filming Summer House. And they'd be like, you have to go to the kitchen. I was like, I don't want to fight with someone right now. I'm trying to see Molly Mae. Yeah. I'm like, Molly Mae just walked in with red lipstick on. What, what do you want me to do? Did you know Molly Mae before Love Island? I didn't, but I, but she was famous already in the UK. Like she was already an, like an influencer and,

But it was, I didn't know anything about anyone famous in the UK until I like really got deep into Love Island. So, but right when she like appeared on the screen, you know how people just have, you can't teach it. It's just this energy where you're like, I'm obsessed with them. And she also was like,

I feel like she was nice. So sweet. She was so sweet and she was so pretty and she was just cute and you like wanted to be her friend. Because it's easy to villainize the new girl that comes on being like, who wants to be with me? All you girls don't know what's coming. Wait, Hannah, can we make a show that's like...

like a sitcom about like Love Island but it's like we hire actors but like people watching think it's like real people and we're like your accent's like not good enough like

Wait, wouldn't that be such a funny show? Like we're the producers and we're like, cut, cut. Like you need to have a thicker accent. That's funny. That's funny. Okay, put that on the docket. Wait, but put that under the video. Before you even give your hot take that you've been like foaming at the mouth to give, can I give a hot take? Yeah. This is the least surprising breakup I've ever heard. I feel nothing. That's so insensitive of you. What made you think this was going to work out?

Because he's so dumb that like I literally thought I was like, he can't even get across the street without her. Like, where's he going? That's the thing. She deserves better.

When I first heard it, I was, dare I say, gutted for her. Because I was like, because the way it happened, I was like, oh, she found out some shit and was like, nope, I'm putting it on Instagram to like make you know I'm serious. We're done. And so like every girl I feel like has felt that deep pit in their stomach where something happens and you're like, and now I have to throw up. Like I'm. You think she posted it?

before he posted anything to be like, don't try to fucking get me back. Like it's in the public now. Like you're fucking done. Yeah. That's powerful. Serious. I am. I like that. So I was like very proud of her in that. But when then when I was thinking about it, he's weird. Like he didn't want their kid to go to school. Like he's weird. She deserves someone so much cooler. And so I'm actually so happy that they're broken up.

And I'm not saying he's bad because I don't know him. But again, like the way he looks, you just know he's been treated differently. He has those like wide ass shoulders. Like people immediately are like, you're good. Like you're good. We need to bring more awareness to men that have wide ass shoulders and don't trust them. Don't trust a wide shoulder man. If they have a broad shoulder, keep an eye out. I feel like men with broad shoulders don't know how to eat you out.

I feel like a guy with narrow shoulders, he's going down there. He's putting his little narrow shoulders up inside your pussy. Small, very small tidbit that like you've got to look out for when someone's like going down on you. If their whole body isn't on the bed, I'm not into it. You're saying if he looks like he's going to receive doggy.

Yes. I have to remove myself from the situation. Wow. We just went from zero to 100 so quick. Wait, will you say anything to him? Will you be like, hey, can you like... I try and move so that he has to move because I'm like, I can't look at you. Are you like, do you want more room? See, I have a long torso, so I don't know if any guy has enough room to lay down fully. My torso hits the end of the bed. He's on the floor. You have to be back to it.

The last thing I want to say about Tommy Fury and Molly Mae, they're 25. They have a whole life to live. She could get engaged again and divorced before she even meets her soulmate. They're like fine. What's with reality shows being obsessed with people getting engaged? Obsessed. Obsessed. And it's like that is above your pay grade. Like.

That's when paperwork gets involved. No, if there's admin involved, I'm like, maybe we should take a second look. Like, I have to get someone appointed by the court. Also, they treat it like a storyline where, like, if these people get engaged or married, it's like a bow and, like, then they're untouchable and, like, everything's perfect. And I'm like, this is the beginning of a nightmare. The beginning of a horror film. Yeah.

And to be and also like because Love Island and some of the other ones like they're getting people and they're fucking young. They're signing on to do a reality show because they don't because they're young and they're like experiencing things and they don't really know. And so like to expect them to get engaged and stay together forever. It's like brainwashed at the end. Like, you know, have you ever watched Bachelor in Paradise?

No, that's the thing that's crazy. Like with all the Love Island people coming out and being like, the internet is crazy and the edits are crazy. It's like, yeah. I do have to say something and I wasn't going to lean into this, but there's a crazy chicks in the office interview with Leah where they, it's the first interview out of the house and

and and they're basically like queen leah and she was like what do you mean and they're like you're the star and she's like what do you mean and it was like a perfect example of like when you're filming you cannot tell that someone is like such a hero versus like it's way more and everyone's saying shit that you're like oh that could be bad oh that could be bad oh i don't love that and she was like what and they're like why are you shocked and she's like

What are you talking about? Because the producers were also probably like, if people are going to not like you, if you like say this, um,

I also think back to the marriage thing. Like, Bachelor in Paradise, at the end, they have to decide if they want to leave the island with the person. And there's always one couple that succumbs to the pressure of them being like, you guys, everyone loves you. If you propose right now, you're going to be the biggest couple in America. And they're just like, fuck it, let's go. And then they're... No, that's so scary. No, I know. Because also, I feel like getting engaged...

Look, obviously things happen and people get divorced, but like getting engaged, I don't want to feel it too many times. Okay, don't come for JLo like that. No, I don't want to be like this again. JLo's had it hard enough. You don't have to come for her like that. Is JLo with Ben? I think the first time to be the only time. Has anyone checked on them? I don't believe so.

I don't believe so at all. I will say we haven't like touched on any of the Blake Lively stuff because I just feel like it's so overdone. It's so like, okay, we get it. Everyone hates everyone. Everyone sucks. Like, here's the thing. If you would listen to Giggly Squad from the beginning, we would have told you this. Like, look at this kitty. Like Daphne's joined. Daphne's looking at me. Yes, it's your godmother, Daphne. It's your godmother.

I think about you every day, Daphne. Like the media will never let like a woman be too on top for too long. But I will say I started watching Jane the Virgin because I didn't know who Justin Baldoni was until all of this. Yeah, I don't know who he was. I didn't know how everyone knew who he was. I'm obsessed with Jane the Virgin now. Oh, that's one of those shows that everyone loved that I didn't get into. Me neither. Because we're sluts. Yeah, I was like this.

I was like, none of this could be for me. Someone said that I looked like Ray Gunn, the breakdancer, yesterday. Stop. The Australian? Yeah, that really made me laugh. For a good three minutes, I was like, that's hilarious. We didn't talk about Ray Gunn. We didn't. We didn't talk about the breakdancing of it all. I do support women in the arts.

Here's the thing. We do support women in the arts, but we're not blind. And we have brains on us. So we're not just blindly supporting all women in the arts because some of them are insane. So apparently she like studies the culture of breakdancing. I think she like is obsessed with it. Well, I saw all these people saying that like she stopped dancing.

other people from being able to go to the olympics who were like way more qualified and here's the other thing when i was watching the breakdancing i was like i've seen better breakdancing on the subway like i was like i live in new york city which i would think is the capital of the breakdancing world i'm like at any given moment i could go on the corner and see seven people better than you like this is wild easily and we would still like not be impressed

Yeah. No, literally. Have you ever gone to Times Square once in your life? Elmo can break it the fuck down. They're doing insane things and they're like they're tying themselves up and break dancing and getting out of like a belt, a belted situation. My thing is like I want to know what the qualifications to like get a sport into the Olympics are. I think that's the thing. It was definitely hard. And I think they took it away after that. Like it got so much bad press. Right.

But if break dancing was getting that much, that many like eyes on it to be like, oh, maybe this should be an Olympic sport. I feel like, have you ever watched any dance team on TikTok? Oh my God, it's incredible. Like why would dance teams not be an Olympic sport? Like those people are insane. I literally fall asleep to like world dance team tournaments. Yeah. Who's making these decisions? I think it is the country.

Us if we were in office. So like, I just think it's the country, you know, like it's not us. I'm calling it. I think pickleball is the next Olympic sport. Yeah. Or like handball, which I, everyone's been asking Hannah, what do you think about pickleball?

I support it, but I haven't played it yet because I'm really afraid that I'm going to get the bug and then I'm going to want to go pro and I'm going to quit all my jobs and then just like be on tour as a pickleball crazy professional. It's literally why you've never tried cocaine. It's the same reason on why you've never tried cocaine. Wait, you get me. You would get obsessed with it. You'd have to be the best drug addict for a friend. Wait, I'm so scared of myself.

I'm so scared. Here's the thing. Here's the thing with pickleball. You would be so fucking good. It would actually be frightening. No, I know. And like you would. That's why you haven't tried it. You don't want to beat out everyone else. You're actually extremely humble. And then I have my cute friends who are like, hey, do you want to play pickleball with me this Sunday? And I go, do you want to have a massacre? Yeah.

Do you want to have a bloody massacre in your sweet country club? Can I just say? I don't have mercy. It's not in my gut.

I went to see Hannah on a non-Giggly Squad day, like a real friend day. And there was a moment where I was like, we would have been such good friends as little girls. You're making me cry. There was a moment where Hannah goes, do you want to watch me play tennis? And I was like, okay. And she literally ran, put her sneakers on, and I grabbed my blankie to sit down.

the chair to watch her play tennis and I was like in my head I was like oh my god we would have vibed so hard as little girls because I wanted to like sit and play with something and you would have been like doing something active but we would have still like been together and vibing on our own I'm that kid who's like you want to see me do this flip and then I just like trip on myself and you're like okay yeah that's so you're so good

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Well, we got a minute. I'm going to buy that truck I've been wanting. Wait, don't you need like weeks to shop for a car? I don't. Carvana makes it super convenient to find exactly what I want. Hold up. You're buying a car on your phone? Isn't that more of a laptop thing? You can shop wherever you want. I like to do my research, read reviews, compare models. Plus, Carvana has thousands of options. How'd you decide on that truck? Because I like it. Oh, that is a great reason. Go to Carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way.

Also, people are mad at me because I made hot dog pasta the other day. And I'm one of those people, I think. Look, some nights are hard. Some nights are harder than others. Nana's somewhere. Nana's upset. Well, Rayo's sent me a bunch of pasta. I saw that huge box in your foyer. In my foyer, not to brag. So I was like, Des, do you want a home-cooked meal tonight? Do you?

This is also how you get out of home cooked meals. Make them hot dog pasta and they'll never ask you to cook. So were you just having like a side hot dog and you're like, what if I just. I'm going to be honest. I've done this many times before. It's kind of like it's like sausage. It's a little salty. I have to say for the pasta. It's also disgusting. Yeah.

It's the thing. I like hot dogs. I like pasta. It's a protein. Is there even protein in hot dogs? Your Nana is probably beside herself. She comments on all my stuff. The silence was deafening on that. I think she actually...

She was like, I'm not processing this. She was like, I've been alive for too long. I shouldn't have seen this. I wasn't ready. But I also just love seeing people's reactions. Also, do you know that hot girl walks are over? Stop. Well, they've been replaced. With what? Fart walks. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes.

the pr you are the farting pr the ibs pr is doing well oh what why is it's like good for your digestive system yeah so basically after you eat you go for a walk and just like let it let it fly so it's not only polite to your guests because you're outside because after i eat i have to lay down apparently it's good for your digestion

Okay, so what do you do when you're doing that with your boyfriend? That's disgusting. That's called intimacy, Paige. No, I've never farted in front of a boyfriend ever. And I really don't. You've never accidentally like laughed too hard and it came out?

Maybe once. And do you own it or do you like, were you like, that was a chair? No. Because that was a chair. I would never. I honestly wouldn't. I don't even know. That's probably definitely happened, but I probably blacked it out because I know I've never like, like maybe he caught on, but I never said anything. Like, no, I've never. And you have that quick decision you have to make of if you go, oops, or if you go, you don't address it or if you blame something.

It's a split second decision you have to make. It's a game time decision. I hate that we're talking about this because I feel like now it's going to happen to me. Oh, no. I didn't mean to manifest that for you. No, you did this to me. I do have to say, we talk about our bodies and all this stuff, but people don't talk about the farting and pooping enough, and Nana hates when I talk about it. But do you ever have such good of a poop you want to tell someone? Never. Never. Never.

That's crazy because this morning I almost texted you and I was like, has your soul ever left your body? But you almost feel like you want to congratulate yourself. You're like, that was good. Here's the thing I will say after like being away for a weekend or like being away on a trip when I come home.

I think because I'm such an anxious person, like physically my body really does like hold on to so much. So like even if I didn't have to go to the bathroom when I'm like pulling up in the Uber to my apartment, I feel like my body's like we're home. Like, thank God we've been literally holding everything in for 13 days. We didn't know if we were ever coming back. Like the inside of my body is so dramatic. I'm like, guys,

calm the fuck down we're gonna come home but like subconsciously i'm like are we ever going home no it's like when you're about to go home with a guy to like hook up the first time that's how i feel when it's been like a long night out and you're about to poop you're like we're about to get back it's about to get crazy i haven't felt that sensation in years

I like thinking about how I used to like run to a Starbucks across the street because I like refused to go to the bathroom at like a guy's house. Yeah. I was like obsessed with my breath.

Like I had like breath, bad breath phobia where I was like the whole time I'd be like, you can't kiss me right now. I just ate this or you can't kiss me right now. I'm like a little bit thirsty. And then it's like weird to put gum in your mouth like a fucking second. Mine would be like we just like smoked a cig at the club. Like we can't make out. I'm like, I just had chicken parmesan. Like I think there was garlic in that. So I would be obsessed. Like I wouldn't kiss the guy if I wasn't like 100 percent sure. We're like, I don't I feel like I put too much weight on that.

I was like obsessed with the fact he might be like no I don't like her breath yeah no there's like different things that like now I don't even like think about I feel like you're like I should consider that every now and then

No, I do always think about like, okay, if I was single right now, I'd be the worst. I'd be like, I don't care about you. Like, I'll do this on my own. Goodbye. I would be just so different than what I was used to being. You mean changing everything for a man? Literally changing everything and like going clubbing. Like, I don't think I don't think I would club again. No, that would be so scary. Clubbing's violence.

No, it incites violence. It truly does. It does. Speaking of violence, I had a crazy purchase the other day and I briefly talked about it on Burner Phone, but I want your perspective. I bought a trampoline.

have you seen these videos of these girls jumping up and down on trampoline being like it's so good like a personal size yeah it's like a little one they're like it's so good for your lymphatic drainage which i still don't know if it's real and they're like it just helps with your digestion it's a great workout and i'll is it a great workout i'll do anything to not jog like anything besides jogging i'm like sign me up

I do some research. They call it rebounding. So it's not like jumping on a trampoline. It's called rebounding. And cool girls in New York City are doing it. There's like a place called NESS, N-E-S-S, where like cool girls bop on trampolines. Which...

So I bought it. This feels very 1950s and I'm like almost kind of here for it. I know. And Des is like, what the fuck is a trampoline outside? And I was like, it's my workout. So I did it for like four seconds and immediately I had to shit myself. No way. It's like taking a baby and shaking a baby. So I want to get into it, but I just haven't been in the right digestion place to do it.

It's like shaking a fucking Diet Coke and being like, oh no. Waiting for you to get into the right digestion place, though, could take years. No, it could be literally the next, like, Mercury needs to be in retrograde. So I'm, but I just want to let people know, rebounding's a thing. I haven't been able to do it yet, but I'll keep people posted on my rebounds. I hope I get this in my algorithm now, because I've never even...

I've never even thought about it. I just also hope that like people don't hurt themselves because it's not a big one. You're just like jumping and they're like, raise your leg, raise your leg, turn, raise your leg. So I'm going to try it. Okay. But I also could have just wasted $400. $400, Hannah, for a personal triple lead? Well, I had to make sure it wasn't going to break. Okay.

It was like $350 on Amazon. Literally in my head, I was like, oh, it's like a hundred bucks. She got it on like TikTok. It might have been 350. I'll put it in the newsletter. My thing is I will buy stuff.

that I think will make me a better person and not use it and think that there's some kind of like trickle down effects. Like I'll buy like mental health books and not read it, but be like, but I have these books, so I'm better. I literally just did that and I bought a prayer journal. I was like, I need to like pray. Are you becoming a born again? What the fuck is going on over there? Well, Des is making fun of me because in our house, I have a book that just says how to set boundaries. And he's like, this is in the middle of...

I'm like yeah people need to work on their boundaries he's like can you not put your weird self-help books in the middle of the living room wait that's actually like a really funny quirky thing that I think more people should do just have like the weirdest book titles like in their home what a conversation starter like imagine having like imagine coming home to your husband and just putting a book in the bookshelf that said divorce for dummies like you're

How did that get there? It's hilarious. My favorite, though, is, like, the millennial book trend that everyone had to put, like, fuck in the title. It's like, how to be a fucking girl boss. Fuck you, bitch. No. Okay. Well, actually, that's funny that you bring that up because I have two, like, big bookshelves in my bedroom and I've been trying to, like, decorate them. And I was like, wait, is... I want, like...

I want a like row of books, but I want them to be all the same color. So like I don't give a shit what the books are, but they need to be all the same color. So one side I have they're like all blue and on the other side they're all white. And so they came in and I like put them up and then I was like, is this so fucking millennial? I was like, is this –

so millennial and weird i need to take a picture and put it in the newsletter because i don't know if it looks cool or if it looks horrible did you run it by grace i didn't i was too scared i think that's your answer if you're too scared to ask grace it's millennial i do think no that's true like a stereotypical um coffee table book could be millennial

Like too thick of one. Yeah. Fuck. I do think our Giggly Squad book is a perfect one though. No, it is perfect because it is so freaking cute. Imagine if we had a handbook for like Giggly Squad employees and one of the things was like, and if you have to ask Grace, it's a no. Oh God. I want to talk personal style for a second. Okay. I think I know how I want to describe my style. In three words? Yes.

Actually, it is three words, but it just found an aesthetic on TikTok. Okay. Tomboy femme Berlin. That's what I want to be for fall. Okay. Okay. You're going to need a trench coat. I need this thing, though. I don't wear sambas.

You don't have to wear sambas. Are sambas for people with flat feet? Because I just feel like they're not. Why would I wear a samba when I could wear something more comfortable? They're so flat to me. Like it's like they're like a fucking ballet flat. I have like pink and blue like platform sambas that are like cute. Are they comfortable? I think so. You don't even process comfortability when it comes to fashion. You don't even know. When it comes to a shoe, I don't know. The second I put it on, I'm like, could I run in this?

No. I'm like, could I jog the track? I should. Should I go on a farm? I should think of that more often because like we do live in New York City and it's like I probably should run more times like when someone's chasing me. But if something is uncomfortable, but it looks really good, I'll suck it up. Yeah. But I don't like to be uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

But like if I have to be for a specific event, I will be. Have you thought of your three words to describe your style? I feel like you've been waiting for someone to ask you that. Like my whole life. I actually don't know what would describe my style. I would say I'm a little bit of a juxtaposition because I would say that I do like a very classic look. But also I love a fucking trend.

You do. And I do have something to say about trends. Someone had a good quote about like, you can't just keep buying trends whenever they come out. Like capitalism can't keep winning like that. It's more like use the trend to influence your personal style. Like just take from the trend what is good with your style.

Well, a lot of times like when I do Amazon lives and we talk about like trends because I do like think it's fun to try them. A lot of the trends like you already have in your closet that you could like, like, okay. So like one of the trends for fall is like,

like obviously big fall coats and like statement coats, like voluminous, like big sleeved coats, but also shawls. So like wrapping your own scarf, like in a different way where it looks like it's like wrapped in the front and like the ends are in the back and

And you don't have to go out and buy a coat that's like has a built-in shawl. Like you can do it at home and like there you've like done the trend one time and you didn't buy a whole new coat with a shawl. We just saved like $150. No, literally. Girl math. It's like a lot of trends like I feel like people do have at home. Like and also like now it's like a ox blood is more in style than like actual red. Ox blood? Is that what they chose to call it? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

pita somewhere being like i'm sorry pita's like we just stopped fighting with pete davidson now we have to come for the whole fashion community oxblood it's chose violence oh my god well but it's like a deeper red but like you can still wear the red cardigan that you bought last fall and like still be achieving the same look are you going to go through your clothes and like donate a shit ton it's so funny hannah because that's on my to-do list i love a list i i

We should talk about our list more often. I have like a master's list. It's called my long to-do list. Masters? That's so important. My master's to-do list. Those are like my long to-do list things like that I could, I'd like to get done within the year. Okay. Okay. Then I have my everyday to-do list. Currently on my everyday to-do list to clean out my closet is tomorrow night. Oh,

Wow. But but it's always getting pushed. Actually, my life is run by a note that says shit I need to do. And the top is like things I should do that day. And then I have like ones at the bottom of other things. It's funny. I wrote OBGYN. When is the next time? I mean, you go to the. No, I have to go to the dentist. That is on my frickin list. I have a dentist girl.

No, I have a dentist. Oh, sorry. It's just hard going. Do you guys know that we like barely have health insurance? Hannah, we have health insurance. I know, but it's not good. It's not good in these streets. No, when anyone brings up health insurance, I immediately retreat to it, baby. I'm like, I don't know. Isn't it crazy? Like reality TV and comedians have no health insurance. Should we start a union? Yeah.

Health insurance for the girlies. You just have to be a girlie. After you turn 26, people like are hitting you with all these like really weird words. You're like, I have no idea. I just want to know that if I have to go to the ER, I'm going to be okay. Oh my God. I had a freak out. I remember I was 26 in an office because they're basically like, you don't have to worry about it if you're under 26.

But it's like, give me a little prep to know what's coming. Because then they put like a book in front of you with all these words. And no one gives you the definition of the words. And they're just like, okay. I've never seen this alleged book. I think it's because you at 26 were already doing reality TV. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks, etc.

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Oh, my God. Wait, did you see that Hulu show is coming out? I can't freaking wait. About the... The Mormon moms. Well, it's funny because I thought they were going to try to do...

Real housewives of... Oh, I guess they already have that. Salt Lake City. Yeah. Some of them are Mormon, I do believe. Some of them are Mormon. So there's this guy. I forgot his first name, but his last name was like Flipakowski or something. Okay. Flipakow. Flipakowski. And he played for Duke. And he was like really good. And everyone was like excited to see him get drafted. And for some reason, he wasn't drafted in like the first round or whatever. Yeah.

And people were really surprised by it. And it turns out they give you like interviews if you're going to go pro about like your life. Like they ask what's going on in your life. And someone in a podcast was like, it could be because of his girlfriend. And everyone was like, what do you mean girlfriend? They found out that he's dating a girl who's six years older than him. Six? Or more. Who used to be his babysitter. And apparently they started dating when he was 18. So she went to his prom.

Oh no, when she was 26, he went to his prom at 18. And apparently he's cut off his family because of her and Mormonism. And his family's been on Twitter being like, this girl captured our son through Mormonism.

Oh, she's Mormon. He's not. But I think he's been converted and they think that she saw at a young age, like she was his babysitter and was like, this guy's incredible basketball. He's going to go pro. I'm going to lock him in and then like use God. But now he never went pro. I think he, so he got picked up. Guess by who? The Utah Jazz. The Mormon state.

Okay, and so is he playing this year? Yes, but people are, like, worried that they're basically, like, was she grooming this kid? You know, it's interesting. As much as, like, we obviously, like, ride for the girls, it doesn't really get talked about enough when, like, this, like, it's the reverse and, like, a woman...

finds like a young guy and kind of like molds him like no if that was reversed and that was a man and he was 26 and he was the babysitter and started dating her the girl at 18 we'd be like shit was going on prior to that women are so much more mature than men so like a 26 year old woman with an 18 year old boy is like uncomprehendable no

I actually can't talk to men that are my age. I'm, I'm, I, I'm even struggling with them being 35, 36. No men my age. I sit them down and I'm like, hi, what are we trying to do? What's going on? Have you been to therapy? You know what's so crazy? How men our age get treated so differently than like women our age. Like my number one question is like, when are you getting married? When are you having a baby? Um,

Like any guy friends that are like 30, 31, no one would ever. I want to bring it up. They're like, don't get a girlfriend. You're only 31. It's like. We're literally with us. They're like, I think you have time. Like you don't have a geriatric pregnancy for another like three years, which is, is that enough to fall in love and get married and get pregnant? Ooh, I don't know. Freeze your eggs. Start injecting yourself with hormones ASAP. No.

I literally do have to freeze my eyes. I had that moment with Trevor Wallace, who's my age, because I was looking at him and I was like, we're in a similar place with like stand up. We just had our first special come out. Mm hmm.

And I was like, you don't feel any pressure to like choose career or family right now. And he was like, what? And I was like, yeah, I literally am like, do I shoot another special? Do I try to have a kid? Like, like,

We're in such different positions. It's crazy. And just not even the sacrifices, the rhetoric around like having to say as a woman, like, oh, well, yeah, like I want to have a family, but I also want to do my career. And it being like a crazy thing.

people take sides in that topic it's so insane are a great example of two comedians that we have our careers going but if i have a kid like we're suddenly going to be on a different path yours will take a drastic and it doesn't mean that it's going to be less successful like arguably you know i've heard oh i don't want to like i could get a lot of likes with a kid

yeah but like i don't know i mean look i said i was keeping daphne off instagram and then i i was like but she's gorgeous but i'm telling people i do not want to post my kid for content but with with that just you have such different situations i also have to say because i turned 33 last week or the other week i was like oh my god like because you know when you're 29 people are like you're a baby and then when you turn 30 they're like you're still basically 29

And then when you're 31, they're like, you're still 29. And then when you're 32, they're like, you're still, you're like, you're 30. Then when you're 33, they're like, you're 40. Yeah. So I, it hit me like, okay, I'm not in my twenties anymore. Yeah.

And then I realized that I always have wanted to be like an older, cool aunt with some gray hair. And like, that's who I want to identify with. Like, I feel like so many girls, their whole identity is like being young and hot. And like, I actually never felt comfortable being like young and sexualized and people thinking that I was stupid and I'm kind of over it. And I can't wait to be older. Yeah.

Oh my God. You're really taking back the narrative and like twisting it. And I love it. No, I, I never felt comfortable when like men were like, she's young and hot. And I never felt comfortable walking into like a meeting and having to be like, Hey, like you can, can you guys please respect what I'm saying? Do I have to repeat myself again? Like I'm just annoyed with all that. And that's what comes with being in your twenties. Um,

And I just think that there's so many negativities with it. I'm excited to be like, I feel like everyone is someone different at heart. Like in my heart, I'm 44. Yeah.

I'm 44. I will say on the plus side of like being in your 30s, now when I am in certain meetings or Zooms, I feel like I kind of fucked myself because sometimes people are really looking to me to say something. And I'm like, oh, sorry, I forgot I turned 30. And like now you're kind of taking me a little bit more seriously. I still don't know. Like when you become a really important part at work,

It's like, oh, shoot. You have to listen to what people are saying on Zooms.

The con of getting older is you have to listen. No, there's so many times where they're like, Paige, obviously you got the brief, like you looked through it. And I'm like, yup, you did. Like, no, no, I didn't. And my mom has talked about like when you get older, sometimes you feel like you disappear sometimes a little bit. But like that sounds so peaceful. Like to just like walk outside and not be like, is someone going to try to like grab my ass cheek?

Okay, very interesting because I think I struggle. This is like getting so deep now. I think I struggle with the opposite. I think I struggle with the thought of getting older and becoming more and more invisible when like,

for a while the norm was in your 20s you are so young and hot and so like that's in your brain like oh I'm young and hot I'm gonna be young and hot and then as you get older it's like like I feel like I first noticed it when TikTok really came out because like I would see younger hot guys and in my head I'd be like oh you can't date them anymore they wouldn't want to date you you're old you're older than them you know what's so funny is

And we're not talking about 18 year olds. We're talking about like 25, 26 year old guys. Right. Yeah. Which we wouldn't want to date anyway. But like, no, but like I would be like, how lucky would they be to like sit with me? And I would like the conversation. And also they think I'm hot and I'm smart and I'm successful. Like I don't, I think it's you have been so pretty.

And like, it's got, it's part of your value intrinsically. Yeah. And it's not your, it's literally not your fault. Like talk about not, it's really not your fault. You're not, it's not your fault. You're hot. And everyone's told you you're hot your whole life.

For me, like, being hot has never helped me with anything. It probably has in some ways. Like, getting on reality TV, apparently. No, you've definitely had, yeah, pretty privilege. But, like, it was never part of my ego. Your identity. My ego, yeah. Like, I never was, like, felt better about myself because I was pretty. It was more, like, you have to be athletic. You have to be...

I think I was at like a young age put in your model even just being in school I was put in a box where it was like oh she's pretty so she must also be stupid which like it was just a coincidence I couldn't read but that's not my fault

That was just a really bad coincidence. So like she must be these other things. So I think that's why I took it so seriously when I got older, like dating where I was like, if you don't think I'm funny, like that is my baseline. Well, that's the thing. The people who fall in love with you are not going to fall in love with you because you're hot. Right. There's a bazillion hot people. Right, which that takes a long time to like, I feel like as a woman, yeah.

Like learn that you have so many more things to like offer than... Your husband is not choosing you because you're hot. Your husband is falling in love with you, which makes you hot.

Period. No, I've dated some of the ugliest guys in America. But I do have to say... And I've loved them. It's not... It is different with girls because like men, it's like, oh, they bring all these other things, which do they? Do they? No. Do they? Your ego and your value has been attached to your looks. Yes.

So it's like, okay, if my looks change a little bit, do I lose everything? And that's how I felt like when I stopped playing tennis, I was like, who the fuck am I? Because all people liked me for was being a tennis player. Right. And I think that's why like Botox is so rampant and plastic surgery because it's like, well, I can't, this is the one, this is me. I can't lose this. But it's really not you. Like your looks really aren't you. Also, isn't there something so hot about someone who you've,

is comfortable in their own skin. Can we talk about that? - Yeah, like I always say, I think especially living in New York City because like our nightlife is a little bit different and you're exposed to so many different types of people.

I have been at parties like when I was in my early 20s and like seeing girls who are like a little bit older than me walk in and like their confidence was so crazy. And they were not the prettiest girl in the room. No. Where like a model who was by far the prettiest girl in the room. So insecure, like standing in the corner, her body language. So you like almost don't notice her. People are not factoring in energies. Yeah.

When energies are like everything. And also, first of all, pretty...

It depends on so many... It's very subjective. It's also what girls think is pretty. Sometimes guys do not think it's pretty. That's actually so crazy. I feel like there was just a TikTok trend where people were showing their boyfriends a girl that every girl thinks is so hot. And they're like, yeah, she's like, okay. You can't control how people view you, how people see you through their lens, but you can control your fucking energy. And that's why I think...

confidence is just so hot and like how you carry yourself there's so many people online who get so many likes and people are obsessed with them and then you're in the room with them and you were like their energy is so bad so bad and i think that's why the internet can be hurtful and harmful because you're like wow this person looks like an angel and everyone must be obsessed with them look how many likes they get but when they're in the room no one wants to talk to them

They have weird energy. They ruin people's day. And I think there's also like the opposite effect too. Like there are some people that it's like, oh, everyone hated them. And then you're like, they literally just have anxiety. Yeah, like even celebrities and stuff and reality TV people especially, I love hearing like someone that you think everyone hates. Then you're like, they're fucking hilarious. They're the realest people. They speak their mind. They stand up for people. And you're like, oh my God.

I fuck with that person hard because sometimes the people who are curating so hard online are the people who are hiding shit. It's also just such a weird world because we are able to see like what people younger than us are doing and what people older than us are doing. And like,

I feel like before the internet, like you just knew what people your age were kind of doing. Cause like, when were you ever around? Well, even the beginning of the internet, my space was just the people our age. And then when the parents came, we moved to Facebook. I'm never around 23 year old girls, but online everyday life, but online I'm seeing everything they're doing. So like,

like two girls fighting two 24 year old girls fighting on TikTok. I'm not taking sides because I'm 31 years old. Like I, I'm not taking sides because these are like little girls to me. No, you're right. And,

And they're doing very 23 year old girl things. Yeah. But it's just getting put on the Internet for everyone to see. Which I wish. Like, oh, my God, the shit I would do at 23 if I put it on the Internet and now looking at it at 31, I'd be like, I will freak the fuck out. So like I would never be able to take sides with two young girls because I'm like, they're both have emotions. They're both going through it. They're both expressing themselves emotionally.

You can't take a side. They're kids. But like other 23 year old girls on TikTok are obviously like, I'm on this one side. I'm on this one side. But like being able to see it is all very like that also makes me feel much older because I'm like, oh, I get it. But like, again, it's the girls fighting. And where's the guy? And it's funny because some people are getting some people are getting mad and they're just like,

when girls fight on TikTok about a man. It's like another girl on girl crime. But I'm like, or are they both geniuses and they're both getting more clout and more followers? Neither of them are probably evil. Like, you know, they're just being girls. They're just like, they have emotions. But also like,

This is reality TV. We're just watching reality TV, but like edited through their own TikToks where you're seeing their, you're seeing their own green screen interviews. Yeah. And there's no like guy sitting on a computer being like, cut that part out. Yeah. But they're also like not able to show like actual footage of what happened. It's just two girls being like, this is what happened that night. Right.

Oh, 20. What was I doing when I was 23? No, I wouldn't go back to 23 years old. No, it's so scary. It's so, what was I doing when I was 23? Where was I? Who was I? Oh, I was, um, cold calling sales. I was working at ABC News. I was cold calling sales and I was obsessed with this one guy in the office who was tall, painfully shy, never spoke to him. Like he was shy. Like I would talk to him and he would be so shy.

And that was my dating life. When I was 23, I would actively watch my boyfriend leave the club with other girls. And I'd be like, this is fine. This is so fine. This is okay. I'm strong.

And then him be like, no, I was just bringing her to her Uber. What are you talking? I'm like, yeah, you're a gentleman. The universe is testing me in a lot of ways. Oh, perfect mental health moment. This girl, Julia Messi, M-A-C-E-Y. I don't know where I saw it. I wrote it in the notes said the world won't let you get comfortable where you don't belong. The world will not let you find peace or settle where you shouldn't be.

No, honestly, the astrologers on TikTok this week have really been freaking me the fuck out. Actually, some are going too hard. Some are going way too hard. Some are like your life's ending. And I was like, is that allowed? Is that legal? They're like, if you're a Scorpio, your whole life is changing. I'm like, can we not? I just got settled. If you get a bad one, you keep scrolling for a good one. Yeah, I'm like, I don't resonate with that one. Thank you.

They're like, you're just like really, you're shedding things. You're changing your whole life. I'm like, I don't wanna. But let's normalize instead of taking like bad experiences or being uncomfortable or bad things happening to you as like my life sucks. Being like, oh, I'm listening to this energy. I'm not comfortable in this space. I'm not saying to like quit all your jobs and break up all your boyfriends, even though that's a good idea. I'm saying there's a reason. You're not at fault. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not finding peace

because this isn't the place for you and let's keep moving let's keep swimming no your gut like always knows well that is thanks for giggling with us thanks for giggling slash crying slash like figuring out the world's problem that was an insane episode um we love you guys so much we're so we're starting to make outfits for tour no we're so excited especially for radio city that's like

I actually can't even say it out loud. It like doesn't feel real. So like, I don't think it's like actually hit me yet. Yeah. But the tour is freaking starting. Tour is starting in like two weeks, three weeks. I don't know. We don't know. We're living life day to day. But we love you guys so much. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.