Giggling about blowdryer boyfriends, pick me girls, and getting humbled
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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Oh, God. Okay. What's up, my gassed up gigglers? It's too hot in New York. I thought you were going to say gaslighting because I feel like that's all I do to myself. Wait, are you okay? No, I'm having vision issues, I feel like, and I don't know why.

I thought you were going to say, like, my stomach hurt. And she's like, I don't feel well. Like, I can't see. And I was like, I feel like we should call someone. Yeah, like, I'm not dizzy, but, like, I have to blink a ton. Not to, like, be dramatic, but this is where my mind always goes. I think it's mental. I think it's anxiety. I think that's what it is. I think, like, honestly, you making me leave...

my apartment on a Saturday evening. Honestly, Grace being gone has thrown me. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. And when she texts in the group chat, I'm like, oh my God. Well, for everyone wondering, Grace as of today is like kind of out of her like drug-induced coma. Which is probably fun. Honestly, sounds freeing.

A little bit jealous, but she posted a clip today. We've been chatting. No, she's been making jokes. Yes. Well, we made her laugh too hard, and she said it almost like popped her jaw. Wait, how could you be feeling off when you're in a peplum? No way.

I freaking knew you were going to say something about my peplum. It's so cute, though. It's so freaking cute. Okay. I found this brand on Instagram called Line by K. Okay. I think it's like third in LA. And they just had the cute stuff. And I saw this little peplum top and I was like,

You look so adorable. She walked in and stopped for me to look at her outfit to be like, you look so cute. Because I love cosplaying as a ballerina. You look so cute, but I'm a little jealous because my long torso, if I wear a peplum, it just... No, my whole outfit right now is a hate crime against you. I'm wearing capris, ballet flats, and a peplum. And you know I can't wear my hair back like that because I have a widow's beak. I wasn't saying it. I was just finishing your sentence.

How was your week? Oh my God. What even happened this week? I feel like I'm so... We voice noted a lot. We voice noted a lot. And here's the other thing. Like, one, I ghosted my therapist. I know.

I just, she didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. Oh, is that the problem? She didn't do anything? No, no. She's amazing. I just like, you never get like so busy and you're just like, I literally can't. Do you know when you start getting so stressed about therapy? Yeah. Because you're like, I'm so busy.

And it almost feels like I have to do another podcast. No, like, it feels like a job. Because I'm like, okay, I'm about to talk to her. And like, yeah, what's going on this week? Like, I have to come up with a docket of things. It's like if you don't come up with something that's like...

an issue. Yeah. It's like you failed therapy. Yeah. So you're like, sometimes you try to make a problem when there's not... Or you're harping on something that you're like, I'm kind of over it, but I'll talk about it more. Because I'm like, I'm not going to waste this lady's time. I get so prepared for therapy. Like, we sit down and immediately I'm like, this is what's on the docket. Yeah. Sometimes...

I needed to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Like, sometimes for me, I actually need to be physical. Like, hitting a tennis ball, and a lot of girls have been wearing tennis outfits. Tennis is so therapeutic because you're literally hitting something. No, I think I genuinely need more human-to-human contact. Like...

When you're stuck alone or just like talking about your problems all the time or thinking about your wellness, it's like unhealthy. I'm like really sick of myself. Like not in a like self-loathing situation. Like I'm sick of all day. It's all about me. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes I annoy myself. Do you ever get interviewed and everything you say, you're like, I'm so annoying.

All the time. Like, I'll see podcast clips of myself, like, not on Giggly Squad. And I'm like, first of all, who is she? Second of all, shut the fuck up. Or when you see a quote written down, you're like, that sounded, that didn't sound good. You, wait, a few things. One, I got my period. Good.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm going to put in the – whenever Grace comes back and does the newsletter, I'm going to put in the newsletter, like, what the vitamins were that I took because I didn't want to give it to the gigglers prior to me getting my period because, again, we're not doctors. We have no idea what we're talking about. But you're going to give it to them now. So I'm going to give it to them now because I know, like, it worked for me. Because now she's a doctor. But, again, this is what my doctor gave me. So, like, it could be different for you. Yeah. But I'm still going to give them all the names of everything. Mm-hmm.

And you humbled me so badly this week that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've told everyone that I've talked to this week, like, who do you want to know what Hannah said to me? And it was like so humbling. Yeah.

I was like complaining about an array of things in a voice note. And I said to Hannah, like, whatever. I'm just like really anxious and emotional. It's probably because I just got my period. And Hannah listed everything that was wrong in my life. I mean, there were like 10 things. And she just went down a list. And she goes, no, but it's definitely your period for sure. And it took me a minute. And I was like, you know what? I have to apologize to all women. But the men made me think that.

Hannah was like, maybe it's because you're on one of the most insane reality shows. Your boyfriend's in a public feud. You don't leave your apartment. You have debilitating anxiety. Grace broke her jaw. Grace literally chucked herself down the stairs. Blame your poor period who's just like a woman in the arts trying to like exist happily. Yeah, she's like, I literally haven't been here for a year and you're already complaining. Yeah.

I'm like, also, what was the excuse when you couldn't get your period for the last two years? Right. But the second she comes back, we bring it up. But you know what? That's part of girlhood is that whatever happens, you go, but I don't know. It's because I'm on my period. Even if you're not on your period. Literally, no.

Literally. Because my period was either two weeks ago, a week after, I don't care. It had happened. Girls really get one week where they can like know what their personality truly is. And that's like, it's really, it's hard. Think about PMS. I don't know who that is. Yeah. Period week. I don't know who that is. Yeah.

I'm so horny the next week because we're whatever it's called. Yeah. We're like we're ovulating. Yeah. You're just like white shit everywhere. And then the fourth week.

I'm too tired to even exist. Yeah, and I don't. Look at me. I'm invisible. So the next time you come for someone for having a bad day. Ask what week she's in. People don't bring attention enough that we're in different weeks. But we're also normalizing that men are hormonal. Like whenever a man does something. Who's normalizing that? It's hormonal.

I am. Oh, okay. So you're starting to... Like when a guy shoots up a mall. That's a great... That's hormones. What a way to piss them off. It's hormonal. Wait. Imbalance. Talk about a way to really piss off your boyfriend. Like if he does something and with a straight face, you're just like, are you hormonal? Is the tea a little strong?

They're going to lose their fucking minds. Is the testosterone... Oh, my God. I can't say testosterone. Testosterone. Is it testosterone? Testosteroning? A little high. Yeah, I feel like the testosterone is a little off today. Yeah. Because also I feel like men are very like...

You don't have anxiety. You're being crazy. You don't have anxiety. If you just don't think about it, it's not real. And I'm like, no, I think it's real. I also love when men get emotional. They act like, oh, sorry, I was emotional. Everything I said didn't count. But when girls are emotional, they're crazy. There's just so much wrong. That was layered. And it's not the week to mess with me. Speaking of hot rodent boyfriend. Okay.

Craig is not a hot rodent boyfriend. Craig's a Labrador boyfriend. Yeah. Craig would def... Well, but I would say Craig is not frog. I think maybe he's rat. Hot rodent is very different. It's all different. We're getting all of our animals confused right now. Hot rodent boyfriend is like Jeremy on White. Yep.

It's basically short guys who don't have, who aren't that cute. Non-conventionally hot men. They're calling it rodent boyfriend summer. I'm just kind of sick of like when men are ugly, them getting rebranded into a trend. No, no, no. Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't it be like long torso? Never in my life. Can't go cuties. Double chin divas.

Big, big, big calf. Big foot. Okay, Meg the stallion. Don't cover Meg. Big foot babies.

I was coming for me on all those, by the way. I was coming for me. Such a great observation. They never rebrand us. We grew up with like dad bods being cool, which is basically like, hey, all the lazy guys who drink too much beer are hot. You can't, but they can. And now they can be short and ugly. Then like Short King is literally... We never get a bone. The PR on the men's side is so good, which is crazy because PR I thought was a woman-run business.

It's really strong on their side. And like, they're coming for hot girl summer. Like all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend summer. No. Summer was our thing. I was with a fuckboy last week shooting a video. He was like self-proclaimed fuckboy. He was like a... You're kidding. He called himself a bad boy bartender and he said, it's white boy summer. And I was like...

Okay. Not ever. What? I saw a thing on TikTok that said it's fat funny boy summer. I'm like, that's just not fair. That's not fair. It's never greasy hair girl summer. It's never like slightly depressed, possibly anxiety. Sweet.

sweaty dehydrated girl sexy summer never we can never just live in our own bodies but also I think we're in on it we have internalized misogyny like last episode we thought Dr. Pepper was a man we assumed and we apologized I blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week so we are the ones enabling them calling them hot

boy rodents or whatever they are. We want to make them feel good about themselves. I know. But I think what the truth is, is that most women actually don't care what men look like. We just want them to be nice. Yeah. I did this like dating thing. I was in Minnesota shooting this like funny dating show thing. And it was all people like in their early 20s. And my job was like to navigate the date. Like match them up or just like have them ask questions to each other. I was asking the questions. I basically got to... You know when you're like...

like listening to your first date. Yes. You got to, if you're at a restaurant and you're watching people on a blind first date, you got to actually participate in it. Participate. I was like, I need to follow up. I don't understand that. And also like, you know, when you hear a conversation, you're like, let's spice it up. Yeah. So I was asking all the questions I wanted to ask.

When you're not in your early 20s, you, like, can see it from an outside perspective. And, like, these girls are literal angels. Like, they're sweet. They don't really know themselves yet. But they're so pure, so beautiful, so kind. They just want to have a good time. They just want to make it. And they just want to, like, meet a guy to have, like, a nice relationship with.

with and then you look at the man and talk about hormonal yeah he is just like they're always rock hard just like all the blood's in their dick they have no thoughts going on yeah and i'm like this poor girl has to navigate him and it's not his fault but like that's why dating in your 20s like don't even try to settle down until you're like 27 until you're like 47 no literally until you're 40

But it's like you're younger and you think you're doing something wrong when it's like he literally is just like thinking about like... Bitcoin and Fortnite. Who would win in a fight, a bear or a chicken? Yeah. He's laughing because it's true. It's true. So anyway, if you're in your early 20s, do not feel any pressure to make anything work in any capacity because that's just not how things happen. Oh, I had a bad thought. My intrusive thought of the week is...

Like, obviously, we don't want to be pick-me girls. Right. Is having a boyfriend, like, the ultimate pick-me move? Like, be fucking... No, I mean, you're married. Like, I'm married. You were like, okay, you told him that you loved him so much that he literally proposed. Like, he picked me. Like, I am the final boss of pick-me girl. Like, if you're with someone, you're a pick-me. You beat all the other girls. I'm the pickiest me. Yeah. So, like...

How do you not be pick me? You can't be like, oh, I don't want a man to pick me when a man... I think you kind of have to just be like me and be really mean to them. And then people are like, are they even dating? Or you pick them. You know what? It's so funny. My very first therapist...

How many ghosts ago? She said, and I never forgot it. That was, this was like the only thing I feel like I ever like really took from her was girls are so used to being picked by the guy. And she was like, and all you do is like wait to get picked. She's like, have you ever picked your boyfriend? And I was like,

Oh my God. And I had it. In my head, I'm fully picking my boyfriend, but I'm picking the guy who likes me. Because I'm like, he's fucking awesome. He does really. Think about the ones you pick. They're the ones that don't like you. Yeah. That you don't ever really end up dating. That's why sometimes they say the guy who likes you a little more than you like him in the beginning is better. I do have to say, I've heard a lot of stories where like,

People who end up getting married, it's always, like, the guy new before her. Yeah. Because when you go in full... When you think you know, you don't know. And I just don't feel like girls can ever be the one that's, like, a little bit more... Yeah. Obsessed with it. I do have to say, with, like, the Des situation, when I first met him... You mean your marriage? Yeah. LAUGHTER

like the ultimate decentric you know that entanglement I'm in with Des that you're married I was like you know that side note you know that guy that you see sometimes in my apartment a man in my house you know that guy that you saw leaving the other day his shoes were in the corner you know the man that keeps calling me

Remember when you came to that party, I was in the white dress and the guy was next to me. He had the tux on. That guy. His knee was hurting so he couldn't dance that much. You were blackout. Was his knee hurting at the wedding? Yeah, he couldn't dance as much as he wanted to. Oh, I don't remember that. But it's fine. Anyway, shout out. I remember I was obviously in a place where I didn't want...

I wasn't about to be like, yeah, there's my husband. Like, I was, like, dealing with so much crap. And I remember him being the one who actually put the foot down and was like, you know, I like you. This is actually, I've never asked you this. When you started, like, talking to him, dating him, and then you were, like, fully with him. Like, so say, like, September, October, like, you were fully living with him. When did you know you were going to marry him prior to that?

Or you think after? When I was moving in with him, I read in my head was like he has... I'm going to marry him. He has like this could be game over. I also can't ever tell like do I like you just because you like me. Really like me. Well, I'm so sure it is. Honestly, I just played a lot of games because I never trusted anyone. Right. And I just was like... You needed like a real adult around. I also deep down just felt like...

I haven't met my husband material yet. And then you manifested it. I actually got a really funny text message from one of my girlfriends today that was... And then she followed it up with, I swear I'm not on drugs. Oh.

She said, do you ever meet with an astrologer or an energy worker? Because I feel like you have really strong manifestation powers. And then she said, I swear I'm not on drugs today with my weird questions. I don't know why that just made me think of it. But I feel like you're good at manifest. Like you manifested does. And a lot of things, it is timing. A lot of this time. My thing is I've tried to, I've wanted to do everything too soon. And I feel like the universe like,

Is like... Not yet. Like, you're gonna get to it, but not yet. Yes. So, like, when it comes to marriage and children, like, I feel like in my 20s, that was all I cared about. Like, I was really focused on, like, okay, but who the fuck am I gonna marry? Yeah. And then...

I kind of had a switch, I feel like, when I was, like, 27, 28, and I was like, everyone fucking sucks, and I need to just, like, take a minute. And that's when I really focused on my career. And then I was like, wait, I don't need to get married or have a baby.

yet at all. And so I feel like, I feel like we're always like rushing our lives, especially like young women because society does put that like, okay, you're like our 30 marker is like crazy. It's you're either thriving or you're dead. Yes.

And so... You know what's fucking crazy? I was the exact opposite. I walked around always being like, I'm going to be the last friend to get married, the last friend to have kids. And I was almost like, I think when we met, like, I was really hungry with my career. Almost like I wanted it too bad. And then I think you wanted the relationship too bad. And I saw you deal with, like, career pressure situations better than me because I was like...

I wanted it so fucking bad. So it's almost the opposite of my- And we switched. And we switched. Where like my thing just fell in my lap because I think, I don't know. But sometimes when you force things, the universe backs up and goes, you're not ready, bitch. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Wow, we're having like such a deep- Deep Saturday conversation. Yeah, Hannah's making us record on a Saturday. I know. I'm sorry. No, I'm not like mad about it. Because we didn't have a good- It's not like we had plans. I know. I know.

Where was I going? I like care about the time and the energy we record. And the Sunday times were not the vibe. It was like really early or really late. One more deep thing about that. I saw a tennis quote because this is a sports podcast about the top tennis players. And they said they looked at like the top five tennis players and the top hundred tennis players. Women or men or all of them? Honestly, I don't know any details about where the stat came from. But we love a stat. Like I don't even know how they possibly got this information. So that means, you know, it's real. But like...

They said their ground strokes were the same, their nutrition was the same, how hard they worked was the same, everything was the same. But the difference between the top players and, like, the top 100 players... They were married.

No. That was going to really freak me out. No, it was that the top players, after they lose a point, their brain would get back to being happy much quicker than the other players. So basically, it's kind of fucked up, but it's like the top players were enjoying the process more and overall had more positive thoughts. How? Yeah.

They didn't get to that part. But it makes me think about when you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself for marriage or something, you're actually not having fun. You're not putting good energy on the world. You're overthinking everything. You're not enjoying the journey. You're not enjoying the journey. I think us with our careers even, when I was like, I want to do well. I want to do well. And you were more like, does that guy even like me? But you were doing well with your career because you were being yourself and you were effortless and you weren't questioning yourself. Well, I think Giggly Squad's a great example of that.

Well, Giggly Squad's our safe haven. Right. No, I would die without Giggly Squad. And it's not a coincidence that the thing that makes us the most happy flows easier. Right. Where, like, some other things is more difficult for us, like, existing. Anything. No. I was like, I mean, you could name, you could insert anything there and I'm aligned with her. Also, just, I have to shout out one more time for the Gigglers. Why are the Gigglers so pretty? Why?

who did you meet this week? Just every time I meet, like, I'll look at a room and a hot girl sees me. I'm a giggler. I go, I know. Also, isn't it funny that you can, like, sense their energy? Like, when I was at that 95th birthday party, I made eye contact with one of the waitresses. And, like, telepathically, I was, I think I was like, do you listen to my podcast? And she was like, yeah, I do. And then we, like, started chatting. But, like, I knew. And she came over to me and she was like, hi. And I was like, no, I know you're a giggler. Like, I felt the energy. And, but,

How do we, how does this podcast, our dumb shit, attract only hot, successful, smart girls? No, it's like a secret cult and I do feel like the Illuminati is like catching on to it. Yeah. No, I'm scared. Lock your door. You know what I'm scared about? What? This has never happened to me and I've heard rumors of it and I've heard other people speak of it and I was just like, it'll never be me.

Jill, I like can't eat chicken recently. Oh no, that happened to me once. And I'm eating chicken the other night and I'm just like...

It started tasting like chicken. I was like, this tastes like, you know, this tastes like chicken. The chicken started chickening. And I couldn't. Did you bite on like a tendon? I don't know what it was. I was just chewing and I was just like, this is just really being chickeny. But it's not enough for you to become a vegan. Well, no, I have ancestors and I have some. You're not going to have the veal manigoti anymore.

Wait, it's so funny because my dad does always call me and is always like, do you ever order a steak? Do you ever have a nice steak? I'm like, really? Anna Wintour like eats a steak for lunch every day. Really? I do crave like red meat sometimes. Okay, but.

You can't eat chicken and eggs. Those are the two things. I'm not bad with eggs right now, but me and chicken are taking a little bit of a break. Like, I ordered salmon last night. Oh. Yeah, I was like, I don't know. I can't, like, eat chicken. I didn't feel like a burger. It does take one bad chicken, like, on a salad. To ruin your whole freaking day. It's normally the chicken on a salad that does it for me. And I hate salad. But then you bite into one of these, like, rubbery pieces of chicken that they, like, who knows where the—

alien chickens well I hate a warm salad I hate when they put warm chicken on lettuce and then it warms up that lettuce yeah that'll make me that'll make me punch a wall that'll make me turn into a man yeah I'll get a I'll get hormonal over that I do feel like I go in chicken like I'm obsessed with chicken and then I like can't eat chicken and then I'm obsessed with it or I can only do breaded chicken

We can only do it fried. Sorry. You ever like can only eat fried foods? You know what's funny to think of? The doctor told me I can only have fried foods. Like when you go to weddings, they're like, I need dietary restrictions and it's always like super healthy. Imagine me and you being like, sorry, I

I do have a dietary restriction. Like, if there's no focaccia bread, I will be hypoglycemic. Are there any allergies at the table? I need garlic bread or I'm going to fucking lose it. I need an assortment of cheeses immediately. People don't talk about enough how people have gotten a little too serious with the allergy stuff. I know people are like, hey, people have allergies. The way they scare the fuck out of you when they get to the table and they go, does anyone have any allergies here? And you're like, nope. They come back two seconds later, they're like, are you sure? Yeah.

And I'm like, how many people have died at this restaurant? Or have you ever had the opposite where like food's coming out and like you know people have allergies there and you're just and they're like kind of nonchalant about it. And they'll be like, oh my God, any nuts in here? And you're like, no, this is like a pine nut dessert. My friend is like very gluten intolerant and she'll be like, is there gluten in it? And you could tell when the person's like, I don't give a fuck. And I'm like, oh, this is good.

This is going to end badly. No, my mom hosting Thanksgiving and like having people that like aren't in our family, she's one of the funniest people because she'll look you dead in the eye and say, I got nothing here for you. I got nothing. I don't know what you want me to do. I have nothing here. You're going to have to bring your own. No, that's what I'm saying. Like people will come with their own...

stuff this is the thing in the italian culture it's disrespectful to not eat the food i don't care if you're gonna have an allergic reaction i don't care i once had a boyfriend who for religious reasons could not eat that just sounds so funny

Like also he didn't even go to temple. He's like I'm Wiccan. He just he couldn't he couldn't he was kosher so he couldn't eat shrimps. Yeah. Or crustaceans. Yeah. Which like they don't eat any like bottom feeder fish. Yeah. Yeah.

Or I guess pork. Or like meat with cheese. And I think we went to get Chinese with my parents for like the first thing. My dad's all about, we got fried rice. We got fried rice. And it's like shrimp fried rice with pork. Wow, I'm getting Chinese food tonight. No, I know. And he didn't eat it. And my dad was like offended. The first time I ever realized what kosher was, I was out on a date. And I was like 20.

And this guy, he took me to an Italian restaurant. And they bring out a meat and cheese board. And I'm the only one snacking. And I'm like, you have to try this. He's like, no, no, no, I can't eat it. And I'm like, okay, but like eat.

eat it. And then I started to get pissed off because I was like, no, like now I feel uncomfortable. Then he explained to me that he was Jewish and kosher. And he was like that he could never have lobster. And that really was the day that like my dreams of being Charlotte York

Like went right down the toilet. Because I was like, I can't live my life never having a sandwich with cheese and meat on it. Well, that's the thing. Like I loved bacon, egg, and cheese because I live in New York City and that's the religion. Right. So my religion, his religion were like clashing. And I remember I ordered bacon, egg, and cheese and he went. And I was like, I'm sorry. He scoffed? He scoffed. I said, I'm sorry. I'm from Brooklyn, New York. This is like, this is how I, what? This is what I do.

I hate a scoff. He scoffed. And then we got dinner once and then I was like, let's go to get ice cream because, again, that's my religion. Right. You're human. And he was like, no. And I'm like, no. But like they can't have dairy after meat. Are you kosher?

Okay, I thought he was because he could explain it. There's a lot of rules. Yeah, there's a lot of rules. There's a lot of rules. And as you know, we can't be managed. And I hand it to people that like really stick to the rules. But I feel like most of my friends don't. They're like, I have to try it. I'm having the bacon. I'm not going to tell anyone. I actually wrote this down and I might have manifested this, but I felt like you needed, you were, I just felt like mentally you were like in a place. And I wrote down Paige needs music.

Okay, and I saw your note, and I was like, and I noted your note. I mental noted the note that you noted. And I was like, are Hannah and my mom in cahoots together? Because that same day, my mom sent me a classical music from like Chopin or something. No, I don't even know. I have to find what it was. Jonathan Chopin? No, it was like Bach music.

It was like the... Shoot, my phone died. Your phone died? My phone died. Some like Italian concerto is the name of it. Italian concerto by Bach. Okay. And she said, they say that people who are depressed should listen to this, so you should listen...

No, look, I'm not saying you're depressed. It was like a stat. It was like people are less depressed if they listen to this like Italian concertos. The other day, I'm like in my kitchen. They do that to babies to like make their brain like stimulated. No, I'm like unloading my dishwasher or like doing something and I just like...

And I just like turned it on and I was like, and then I saw your note and I was like, what is going on? That's so weird. Also people who are like full depressed aren't unloading their dishwasher. So that's a good sign. So that's a plus. As your new therapist. But what happened is I had one of those days where like I added some new songs and I was excited about them and I put my little earbuds in and there was something about like, it was like a beautiful day and you know those moments in life where for a second I was like, oh, I

happy everything's perfect yeah and then you get scared you're like and then you think of something but like for a moment you're like oh this is really I was like I was bouncing I was like I felt like I was in a rom-com and I was just like she's the working girl you're like no I'm like having fun yeah like things are going well for her in this time of the movie before everything goes to shit and then I just remembered you being like I don't like music I don't not like it but like let's let's be honest you're never like you know what would make this better music you know what

It's funny because you're right. Because when there are times where like it's normal, there should be music playing, like a perfect example is when I'm getting glam.

When I'm getting glam or I'm getting ready for anything to like go anywhere, normal people put music on. I don't because I'm gossiping, honey. I got shit to say. I'm talking. It's true. Actually, my teammates in college would want to go for like runs with me because I like to talk.

Yeah. And they wouldn't talk, but they liked that I would talk. While they were running? Yeah, because it would, like, entertain them. And I'd just be like... But you were probably so much more fit because you were, like, working out. Chutty, chutty, chutty, chutty, chutty. Yeah, your lungs were so much stronger. Literally, they'd be like, go for a jog, and I want to, like, hear what's going on in your life. And I'd be like... Because I don't want to be stuck with my own thoughts. I want to either be expressing them or listening to music. But there's, like, stats that show, like, you work out better when you're listening to music. Like, it gives you these natural endorphins. I never fully understood when musicians were, like...

music changed my life. I was always like, okay, calm down. Yeah, that's like a little dramatic. Like Mary had a little lamb, calm down. Right. But then I realized it's just like scientific that sometimes it helps your mood. Like getting ready playlist. Yeah. Like when you're with your girls and you just put it on, like that's the most fun part of the night before you go outside and have to deal with like creepos. Here's, I feel like why I,

I don't ever is because I do have so much anxiety that like I love being in silence. Well, it's like you want to figure out your problems. Yeah. And you're like, I can't figure it out. I'm like, I can't listen to something else. Like that's going to distract me. Like I have to like do my box breathing. Yeah.

I can't box breathe to ice spice right now. I do have to say Meg the Stallion Hiss got me through the anxiety of shooting my special. I had it on repeat because I needed my thoughts to shut up and it was just like. Was this from your musical therapist or this was your own accord? It was both. Is that really what your therapist was like? She was trying everything. She was just throwing stuff to see what stuck. She was like, why don't you just. She's like, what if we just sang a song? No.

ABCs, happy birthday, anything that makes you feel comfortable. But yeah, I think just like listening to music to some of those moments that you end up spiraling could be helpful. Well, I'm taking up classical music. Imagine going to your house and just booming Bach.

I did date a jazz musician back in my day. You guys remember him. And if you're an OG giggler. And I'd go in his car and we're like early 20s and he was always just playing jazz. But like not even with words, like just jazz. Well, obviously. But like, you know. Does any jazz have words?

Yeah, like Billie Holiday. So it was literally just musicians like... And like he didn't even know like top 40 and I thought it was so cool. I thought it was so fucking cool. I was like, do you know who Neo is? And he's like, no. You know what's funny? I've never been attracted to like any musicians. He was my only musician, but he also was a great athlete. So he tricked me. And he... I haven't dated a musician since. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like they're not to be trusted. I've dated people who think they're musicians. Right. If I had an echo. That's even worse. No, that's ten times worse. No, I do love a rapper. Everybody loves their hometown rapper. Any level of rapper, too. No, there's, like, something really niche and, like, lovable about your hometown rapper that never made it and, like—

Someday you're going to do something great. But like I love a hometown rapper. Are they going to do something great? No, but like I just like love thinking about them. I want to do a documentary of where is your hometown rapper now. It would be on MTV.

And it would almost be like a version of like Made. Yeah. Like we're going to make you into and it's like really a follow up from like all those people. I miss those shows. Made. The way I was invested in these people's glow ups. When you talk about like things like 20 years ago that like wouldn't be cool now. Like I feel like definitely stuff on that show. Made, yeah, they would be like, I want to be a gymnast. And they would just like.

Like, torture this poor kid. Great, then you have to work out for 7,000 hours. And they would just do it, and the kid's crying, and they're throwing up, and you're like, okay, like, if you want to be a gymnast, this is what you have to do. I want to do a maid of where all these maid people are now, and they're like, the trauma I dealt with from that show has never left me. No, I used to love it, and I wanted to always, like, be made into, like, a cheerleader or something. Weren't you a cheerleader? Yeah, but, like, this was, like—

I was little, I feel like, when this came out. Yeah. Like, we were younger. We were the bring it on generation, though. So, like, cheerleading was, like, cool. I'm a big believer in trusting my gut. And I feel like I'm always talking to her. I'm always wondering what's going on in there. And probiotics can't help with some of my gut decisions. But if I need a little support, then Ritual always has my back. They made a three-in-one supplement with clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics, and a postbiotic to help.

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I had a free day today up until this point. And I'm like, what do I do? What do I do? So I went to my documentaries. And I watched two of, like, the most disturbing documentaries I've ever seen. Which ones? Kevin Spacey has a new documentary. Oh, on what? Spacey unmasked. Unmasked. Unmaxed. I didn't, like, I didn't watch House of Cards. Sorry, freaking out. I didn't either. Sorry, judge. I didn't watch that. I didn't watch American Beauty. I watched American Beauty. I just haven't watched anything he was in, really. He's always done, like...

like weirder stuff like thrillers or like he was always just like an old mole rat looking dude to me yeah American Beauty is weird I need to watch it he's like in love with am I allowed to watch it now like I don't even know what the rules are you're allowed to watch it he's in love with his daughter's friend who's like 17 years old don't give it away she's a high school girl don't give away what happens

My Nana would always be like, I'm not going to tell you what happens, but everyone dies. And I'm like, oh my God. I feel like that's me. Every time. She'd be like, I'm not going to do it. But when he does get cancer, it's not great.

I feel like that is me because I'm always like, I don't think that's the movie for you because you're not going to like it because this is what happens. But I'm like, I'm trying to warn you. You're not going to like it until she becomes homecoming queen. I'm not going to give you what happens, though. That didn't matter, though. That is the whole story, though. Here's the other thing I do. Craig always wants to watch shows together because he wants to bond. Yeah, he's like a nice human. He's like a normal person. Trying to have a mutual experience with you. Trying to be in a relationship with me. And I'm like, it was not...

So every time I watch something without him, I just go, Craig, you would have literally hated it. I guess like that. He's like, oh, really? Like, is it like scary? And like, I'm like, yeah. And there's like, they cheat on each other and it's like not nice and they're mean to each other. Really? You would have a, you wouldn't like it. And he's like, oh, thanks. He's like, okay, good. I'm not going to watch. I'm like, I'm already like five episodes deep.

See, Des gets mad at me because he'll sometimes go ahead, but he'll be like, oh, like, I'll rewatch it again with you. I'm so down to rewatch. Yeah, that's how it does. Like, you guys are the same. But my thing is I go, actually, I didn't really even care to watch in the first place. I was watching it because you were into it. Like, there's some shows I will only watch with Des. And he's like, you can watch it when I'm gone. We can watch it separately. And you're like, I don't give a shit about it. Like, Breaking Bad, I'm going to say it. You don't care about it. I...

It's just like, yeah, I can acknowledge a good show. Yeah. But like, it's so much stress every second. It's a lot of anxiety. Yeah. And then the violence on top of it, that scares me. I'm like, I'm like a, I'm bad. Like, I feel like everything. See, I feel like I like those shows because it makes me feel better about my anxiety. That's why I watch murder documentaries. You're running from the cops.

Like I'm just running from like outfits. Like I just don't want to pick out seven outfits this week. You're worried about getting blown up. So I feel like that makes me, it does my anxiety. But he gets mad at me because he's like, did you finish it? And I'm like, no. And he's like, you have like two episodes left. And I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, that's the thing about you. You and Craig would do the same thing. You'll just never watch the season finale. No one can make me.

Like Craig still hasn't watched the Yellowstone season finale and it drives me up a fucking wall. See, this is America. We're freedom to do or not do whatever we want. But there's no order in it. That's I think why me and Des, like there has to be some type of order. You watch the whole first season, you finish it. Like for me, it's a fuck you to the system. Also, you know what it is? I don't want to be disappointed.

And I feel like you're like, I could have wrote that episode. I could have written the end of that. Like, I know what's happening. I know what's going to happen. Game of Thrones never watched the ending because people said it was shit. So why would I put myself through that?

I never really even watched that show. It was just like a lot emotionally. It's a lot. That's a lot of my. So Kevin Spacey's. OK, so that documentary. Basically, like he's basically was scared to come out, had a really fucked up home life and is like super touchy feely with a lot of men throughout his life. Yeah. In like a not consensual way. Yeah.

And then I was like, okay, that was just a warm up. It's called like Fallen Idols and it's about Nick Carter and Aaron Carter. And that's on Max. It's new. And where have I been with like the Nick Carter stuff? Oh, and how he's like a literal psychopath? Well, it's all alleged, but like multiple girls are just coming out being like he.

Just, like, bad, bad things. And they kind of made it... No, he's scary. They made it like Aaron Carter was trying to be, like, a whistleblower to be, like, my older brother's fucked up. Yeah. And their whole family dynamic's crazy. Remember he, like, dated Paris Hilton for, like, two seconds? Yeah, and then, like, she... It showed that she had been, like, hurt. Yeah. So, anyway, I do not want to spread stuff, but, like, I always liked NSYNC, and I knew there was a reason. Yeah. I knew there was a reason. No, but also...

I don't know. We don't have the time. This is the thing. At the end of the day, Lance Bass can do no wrong. Right. At the end of the day, we love Lance Bass. There are two types of girls. Girls who had a crush on Lance Bass. I was one of them. That is so funny. You did. Yeah. That is so funny. And I feel like that shaped a lot of my next boyfriends. I was like, you're a guy. And I should have known. Because I used to have a crush on Lance Bass.

And I should have known. I did it to myself. You like guys who are 10 percenters. Or more. I like to keep myself on my toes. Is it because you're so girly? No, Hannah. Any time in my 20s that I ever had the thought of, oh, he might be gay, I never went into it thinking he was gay. It just.

You know, one time you find yourself at dinner and then the next minute you find yourself with someone putting a pillow over your face saying, I can't look at you. Like, you don't know how you get in those situations. But no, I didn't actively seek gay men. Not to, like, brag. Yeah.

Not to overanalyze it, but like maybe you went for like guys who were kind of gay because you were emotionally unavailable. And a gay man's the ultimate emotionally unavailable. And if he was like hot and dressed well, you were like done. Easy. I think that's what it was. Because I would go for emotionally unavailable men who had just horrible personalities and I would carry the conversation because I can. I think I went for men that use a lot of hair product and I don't know why. That is so true.

But if I pinpoint it back to something, they all had similar hair products. They would blow dry their hair.

All had blow dryers. Two types of men. Two types of men. Men who blow dry and men who don't. Wait, Hannah, that needs to be written down somewhere. Write it. No, that needs to be written down somewhere. If someone can write, write it down. Write that down somewhere. Write that down in your notes app. Because that's so fucking true. Because I could go through all of my boyfriends who used a blow dryer and like, like it was their idea to use a blow dryer. They're not right.

And also it's alarming the moment you realize you hear it and you go, that's coming from my boyfriend. That's not my roommate. That's not me. Wait. There's a moment where you go, oh, he's one of those. And then you're like, you get the ick. You get the ick for a second and then you're like, oh, it's just a blow dryer. That's what men do. Men must always do that. Yeah. It's like they have hair gel. They're just drying it. Like it's not like a full, you gaslight yourself out of it. We just cracked a really big...

Blow dryer boyfriends. Blow dryer boyfriends. Is it a red flag? I think so. I think it is. I'm fine with gel. I'm fine with gel. Here's the thing. I'm fine with... I'm actually fine with Craig because I brought a blow dryer into the home. He never had one. I brought one in for myself.

He doesn't use it unless I'm there because it's out and then he sees it and he'll be like, can I use it? How do you know that? And he doesn't know how to use it. How do you know when you're not there what he does? Because I know. I feel like you're making excuses for him. No, because here's the only reason why I know. It's tied up. He's not putting it back tied up. Okay, good. So he's only using it when he sees it. So we're half. We're not completely happy right now. Men are so funny with their hair. I had this Guido roommate. Shout out to Corey. Yeah.

Dave was bald. Otherwise, he would be doing it too. But Corey would get his hair done every Thursday. We'd be texting like, hey, do you want to meet up? And he'd be like, I'm at the hair guy. And he'd go all the way to the Bronx for his hair guy. Corey was actually so iconic. People don't talk about him enough. He was like the ultimate fuckboy. And I like to keep fuckboys close. That's why he was my roommate. I wanted to understand the fuckboy brain. Doing research for the girls. I feel like every time I've ever been out with him, I...

Like at some point in the night, he's been in the corner just like smiling with a different girl. But he had that fuckboy haircut that was like to the side and then they shaved that line. It was like very peaky blinders. Kind of, yeah. And like the fade. Yeah. Kind of like Travis Kelsey. But this was years ago. And I said, Corey, like where'd you get that hairdo idea? And he goes, you know, I actually started it and it was a copying me.

He goes in the Bronx. I did it. My boy did it. Then he did it. Then they did it. He's like the kind of guy that'll just call you a name and it's the wrong name. He'll just call you the whole night and you'll be like, okay. Yo, Harriet, come over here. I like you. But the sweetest man. He's so nice. Is he married now? I think so, yeah.

He didn't have a wedding. That's why. I think he had like a little like COVID thing. But anyway, every Thursday he got his boy. And like that's I think where the men gossip. That is where the men gossip. Or they at least hear other situations. I also don't trust men. And that's it. I'm actually going to stop there. One thing I learned recently is that clubs.

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Nylon came up with a list of hair trends for the summer. Ooh. And I felt super attacked because I don't think my jawline could pull off any of them. What are they? What's the number one? And if you say a pixie cut, I'll freaking scream. The seven biggest hair trends of summer 2024. The new wet look.

So it's like when your hair is wet and pulled back, which like, let's be honest, does anyone really pull it off? No. But everyone would be like, oh my God, you slight. It's hard to do a wet look pulled back. Yeah. Like to the side. Yeah. Looks good. You can pull it off to the side. I can't. But when it's just fully back, that's just like. I just like immediately think Yolanda Hadid. I don't know why. Yolanda Hadid. Yeah. And also when I think of birthday cake, I think of Yolanda Hadid. Yeah.

That's very niche. Extremely niche. Side note, I was on a flight yesterday and I got some chocolate cake because I love myself. Yeah. And I'm like loving the moment, listen to music, feel myself. Like three hour plane ride, get off the plane, bus and hi to everyone, whatever. Go to the bathroom. I have a full chocolate cake crusted on my lip because it was one of those like thick chocolate cakes.

You're a literal toddler. I can't believe they even let you fly by yourself. That is so you. No, but like so many times I'll be like, how many people did I just talk to? With a huge thing of, because also, did I eat it by just throwing it at my direction? Just shoving it in your mouth? I shoved it.

So anyway, watch out for chocolate cake. Okay, next one they said is shoulder skimming bobs, which is like what you've been doing for a while, which I would look so bad in. I would look not good. Side slicked bangs. Let me see that one. Yeah, okay, I meant that. Yeah, I couldn't. Icy platinum. Oh, let me see. I'm going to get a wig. Okay. Okay.

I'm going to make Mitchell make me a blonde wig because I just feel like there are a lot of times where I'm like, I just want to go somewhere blonde and see what it's like. Okay, Lady Gaga. Like, I just want to go out to dinner one time, like a normal dinner. Like, I'll go with you and Des. I just want to go out to dinner one time, like with a blonde wig and see. See, people actually. See, like, what's the vibe? You want to see if blondes have more fun. Yeah, like, what is the vibe? Do you know when people get bangs, which is what you just did, and everyone's like,

When someone goes, I want someone to make a wig for me, that's another level of, like, distress. Like, what? You're like, I actually don't want to be myself anymore. Like, the stuff you're spewing is wild. I can't see that. You're in your King Kylie era. I'm in my King Kylie era, yes. What color wigs would you do? I want, like, platinum blonde. Like, I'm going blonde blonde. And you'd leave the eyebrows. And I'd leave the eyebrows. Okay. Okay.

Would you do red? Yeah. Like if he could make me a red one, yeah, I would do red. Like I would want like a red bob, I think. Why don't you just, okay, shave your head. I don't need to shave my head because I don't want to put a wig on every day. I just want, it's kind of like my baby bump that like I'm going to use as an accessory. Like on a Saturday night if I'm going out to dinner, I want to have the option to be blonde with my outfit. I also feel like you've had so many good looks that you keep trying to like outdo yourself. Yeah, because it's like,

And at some point you're like, I've done all the looks I can as a brunette. And you want to go harder. No, like I enjoy the creative process of like if I like my outfit, then like what's my hair and makeup going to be? And I feel like...

I'm obsessed with Taylor and Mitchell so much that we're always like we did it again. Brainstorming. We love this look. This is so good. Yeah. So we're always texting each other like different hair looks and makeup looks. You're an artist. To like save for a rainy day. Quick shout out. Your photo shoot for Glamour with the taxi. You're like in the taxi with glasses. Oh, for Cosmo. Cosmo. Yeah. Yeah.

So high fashion, cool vibes. No, we had a day that day. Have you ever been in a taxi before? How dare you? Were you like, I need to break out? Wait, how am I going to get home? My phone's dead. I'll get you home. No, I'm not getting in over there, you got me. I'm going all the way to the Upper West Side. I can't be in a Prius the whole time. It's so far. You'd be lucky to be in a Prius. It's environmentally friendly. I can't breathe. Oh, continue. Pumped up volume.

No, I hate that hair. I do have to say some people will try to do my hair with volume and I look like a dance mom. No, I don't like...

I like volume, but I don't like it the way that Miley Cyrus has it. And from the Grammys, I hated that hair. You love this. You'll look good. Flirty flips at the end. I love that. I feel like me with a flip doesn't make sense. Why? Because it's not the energy I'm giving to this world. Okay. Because it's the energy you don't want to give. But, like, if you wanted to try it, you could. I'm getting you a wig made. That's an...

Next episode, we're in wigs and we don't acknowledge it. We very seriously do the pod as we do. Yes. And we just. Next is super long bangs like Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, I love that. Did you see her music video? Yes. What do you think? I think that they. Nobody's talking about how freaking tiny they are. Why is nobody.

Dude, the cutest little friggin' pipsqueak couple I've ever seen in my life. In my little pocket. No, I'll... I get cute aggression when I see them. Pipsqueak couple.

Why do I feel like they're three feet tall? Both of them. No, he was trying to sit on the car, but he couldn't get onto the car. He can't reach it. And she's so freaking tiny, too. She gives me Ariana Grande vibes, like when Ariana Grande first came on the scene. It's funny because some people are so tiny, like Kim Kardashian's 5'1", or 5'3", something. Small. But doesn't look like it. Doesn't read that short on TV and in certain things.

Sabrina Carpenter reads like Minnie Mouse. Yes. That's what I think of. And like so adorable. And then he, that is a little man. That's a little baby. That's a little baby boy. Put him on your back like a backpack. No, that's a toddler. That's toddlers and tiaras right there.

But I love them. I feel like they're freaky. But the whole concept of the song was basically like, okay, if I'm going to go public with you, don't fucking embarrass me. And if I had a freaking nickel. But I do have to say, I do think that's a red flag if that's the first thought going into the relationship is...

Hey, just a reminder. Don't be who you are because it actually is cringeworthy as fuck and you can really ruin my whole brand and I have a lot riding on this. I feel like once a month Craig gets a text from me being like, just a reminder, I'll kill you. Okay? But honestly, it's good for the men. No, it's good for them. Actually, it's so reverse in my relationship. It's Des being like, hey, shut the fuck up. These are the rules. Des keeps me in fucking line that, man,

Thank you. So, yeah, I can't pull off bangs is another thing. I can't. And not to bring negativity, but I just don't believe in myself. But you're a redhead. So, like, you don't need to do anything else but be a redhead. Like, that's your journey right now. Des said he likes how I look natural. And I said, I like— This is just for fun. I said, it's a bit— Also, what is natural? Natural.

Also, it's not like I'm platinum. Right. You're literally the same color. Also, he didn't even notice it until I said something. And then he goes, I like you natural. Yeah, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. No. I think he's colorblind. I think he's pretending to know. A lot of people with blue eyes, I feel like, are. Yeah. I just made that up. Well, no, I think it's true. Is it true? I don't know. But I know people with blue eyes are, like, sensitive to the sun. To the sun. Which is kind of like, how did you make it this far? Yeah.

Like, on a sunny day, you're just weak. You can't make it. How did we get here? Imagine you're somewhere and your boyfriend's like, I can't see. You know, like, the ick I get from him being like, sorry, my eyes hurt. Yeah, sorry, my eyes are so... And he has to borrow your sunglasses. My eyes are so piercing blue that they hurt. If my boyfriend... That's the thing. I love a piercing blue man. A piercing eye blue man. Yeah. And they are weak. I'll tell you, they're weak. But maybe that's why I like them. Oh, and speaking of Des, we just had a fun episode of Burn a Phone where we talk about...

people submitted movies that we should see. Have you ever seen Drop Dead Gorgeous? Yes. I've never seen it. You would like it. And everyone recommended it. That's so funny that everyone recommended it because it's... I feel like no one ever talks about it. No one talks about it, but the cast is incredible. The only reason I know about it is because I used to date a guy in my early 20s and his dad was in like Screen Actors Guild and like wrote... Can I humble brag? Yeah, I don't... Honestly, he was like... His dad was...

very funny. And so he would always get like movies and they always just had really good movies and they all knew like funny movies and they had seen them all. So when I met him, my movie repertoire like completely changed. And that was one of like the first movies I watch. I have to watch it also. Yeah. I have to announce to the Academy something embarrassing. I've never seen Romeo and Michelle. Everyone tells us that they know my

I've never watched it. I've seen like parts. I've never watched it start to finish. I've seen memes of it. Me too. And I've seen like their outfits. And people are like, you guys are so Romeo and Michelle. And I go, I know. I think it's because they're blondes that I never like identified with it because I was like, I don't see myself in this representation in this movie. So I don't care. Also, who do you think hurt me that I love blonde men?

My brother. That's too much to unpack for us. My brother's blonde. Is he? Not really. He's like dirty brown. He's like mousy brown. Yeah, he was blonde. People don't talk enough about people who...

don't shut up about how they used to be blonde as a kid. Yeah, like I was born blonde. And it's like, I don't care. I don't care what your hair color was when you were four. Well, because they have like a real struggle with it because like they're born blonde and then one day they're just not blonde anymore. And so I think that's like an internal thing they're dealing with. It's really difficult. Yeah. Their identity. And if they have blue eyes, they can't even see. But who am I to speak? Because I literally lost vision 20 minutes ago.

I love how you lost your vision, but so casually just walking around the city. Yeah, I'm just like, I don't think this is the way I should be seeing. I'm like, something's wrong. And I'm always like, my first thought is like, you're having a stroke, so figure it out.

And Grace broke her face, just a reminder. We sent her juice. She's juicing right now. I saw that. Did you see her Instagram was like, I'm calling HR. She was like, I'm calling HR, Hannah Bates, let me juice. You sent her a fuck ton of juice too. I know, because I don't know how long this is going to be. I mean, I hope she doesn't drown. We're like, we don't even know where you are. What's going on? I just clicked like, do you want a shit ton of juice or do you just want like the day? I said a shit ton. She goes, you sent a year worth of juice that's going to expire in two days.

Anyway, you guys, thank you for getting with us. We are going to announce some new shows this week. Yes. Actually, I kind of want to announce it on the pod right now. Presale code is going to be Giggly and we're announcing it on Wednesday.

And we're announcing Washington, D.C., Atlantic City, Seattle, San Francisco, and Tempe, Arizona. And then we added additional shows to cities that were already announced too. So go get it. Okay, so don't yell at us because we are coming to Seattle. Seattle was pissed at me. Seattle was a little bit. I didn't know Seattle was that. No, I didn't know they could go so hard. They went so fucking hard. You know what? We hear you. We see you. We're sorry. We're coming. We're coming. Love you. Thanks for getting with us. Talk to you later. Bye.