SUPERFLY #24 - Billionaires and Candidates
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah, I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's... Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it? This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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Come on, under your chair, everyone, there's a bag, a Ziploc full of magnesium. Take it. You're probably not taking enough. What do you think's in more disarray, the Democratic situation or this hair? My hair is cool, but God dang, it's got some bumps. Well, what is with that? Yeah, it's on your left side. This side? That side up. It looks like you have a growth underneath the hair. A small growth.

goiter came out and pushed it. A goiter, that's the sickest, you know what, the sickest word you can say is, oh, I have a goiter on my back and they go, gross. You go, no, I mean a boil. Sick. I mean a pustule. What the fuck?

I always know when you're riffing for a clip because you give it that Snoop Dogg. The worst name is pustule at the end. It's a signal to the other. I'll cover it. I'm covering it. It's too much. Oh, that's the flag touch the ground. I couldn't take anyone. Look at me. I mean, I got praised just recently. I mean, like three minutes ago for when I swooped my hair back. I'm going to go every other...

podcasts today i'm going for beatles 1965 because this is the hair i wanted when i was 10 and my father would shave my head and if i looked upset he would beat me but anyway anyway let's look at a clip this is sort of this is sort of you know paul 19 you know 65 i'd go to paul's house and his dad would be beating him with a belt they took that out of the documentary

They released it. Okay. So big week. We don't talk about politics that much, but it's so in the news. We have to, if we're talking about current events, where to start? Well, I don't know. Should we comment on, there was a bit of a kerfuffle. We did one spontaneously last week about post-debate politics.

where dr jill biden led uh president biden down on the stage and said you did good joey did good joey some people were upset but i just thought it was funny in the moment um uh that she was talking to him like that i'd never you know yeah i mean the fact she's turned into uh chris jenner like talking to kim at the playboy shoot you're doing great sweetie

I mean, that's what it's turning into. Well, it sounded like a teacher. I mean, she is a community college teacher talking to a second grader. You answered all your questions. I mean, that was just funny. How do we not comment on that? When she stuck the gold star in his forehead after the debate, I thought that was a little...

She pins something on it. He's the leader of the free world. He has a grown doctorate woman, a PhD, going, you answered all the questions. I mean, how do you not make a joke out of that? Sorry. Because it turns into, she walks on stage. She's like an emotional support wife. He's like, oh, she can be up here. I have all the paperwork. She can be up here. She can be anywhere. I'll take her on the plane with me.

Yeah, exactly. So it did good, Joey. That's something a parent would say to a kid who passed a swimming test at the YMCA at age seven. Right. She gave him a participation award for the debate. Yeah. He went across the pool two times, Joey. He's got a big thing that says, I got second place in the debate. Yes. Every kid gets a trophy. Anyway, so that was last week. Now this Democratic...

Uh, presidential, uh, what would you call it? Perfuffle? Well, there's, there's a bit of a, uh, there's a bit of a split over there of like what to do, what to do next. And there, there was a bifurcation. There was pre the debate.

Pre the debate, they were pretty, you know, there was this is our man. He's going to beat Trump. And let's you know, there wasn't as much talk. He did great at the State of the Union. Maybe he got a little State of the Union, but he was great there. Then all of a sudden that comes in. Now we're in this new world. It's about two and a half weeks out. I'm shocked it's taken this long. And so the proverbial shoes are dropping. And the latest one this week.

That kind of got me. Well, there were three in the last 24 hours. Okay. Nancy Pelosi was, for the last two weeks, it's got to be Joe. It's got to be Joe. It's got to be Joe. Why is Trump not? He should go away, not Joe. So she was very, you know what I mean? That's the argument. And then George Stephanopoulos, who seemed like a button-down news anchor, but I guess he's a bit of a man-about-town loose cannon guy.

was walking down the street in New York, saw a guy with a camcorder. They asked him, do you think that Biden can go four more years? And he goes, no, Biden can't go four more years. Immediately regretted it. It got released on TMZ. Newsflash to anchors in their 60s or however old he is, don't go chatting out on the sidewalk if you don't want it to get out to a camcorder. Yeah, don't go to...

turner movie classics tmc uh no the tmc you're right what those people do is they film me they film anybody they just have renegade people and they don't really work for tmz so they can sort of separate themselves that's not one of our guys but they sell it you know yeah so they sell it and they buy it in like six minutes three minutes right yeah of course and uh also he did the

I read that George Clooney, who's a friend of the show, he came out against him. That's as of when we shot this today. A New York Times op-ed saying Joe's got to go. Yeah, which is strong. Done very politely. But it just seemed like there was just a fundraiser.

Yeah, I think it was Julia Roberts himself and Clinton and President Obama, and they have their hands up. They raised the most, like $30 million, and they're doing a big, glasping hands together, big giant, yeah! And the funny part was, you think,

If it was two weeks ago, was he that different? I mean, they were like, you know, I heard people talking, saying I was there. He came out to speak on a pogo stick, and it is so hard to get on a pogo stick. And Biden was out there, ka-choink, ka-choink, ka-ching. And then they set up a small football NFL combine in the backyard, and he was doing a shuttle run, the tires. Oh, yeah. He was doing five and outs. Oh, yeah, 4.8 in the 40-yard dash, 4.8. Yeah.

Clooney was throwing him, go deep, grandpa, and everything was fine. He stood on one foot as they passed him a Nerf ball back and forth and recited the Declaration of Independence backwards. Exactly. And then two weeks later, he turns into Gary Busey.

I'm just, my main thesis, if you will, David, my main thesis is how happy does all this tumult in the Democratic Party make Trump? I mean, Trump's got it because he's gone for Trump. He's a little quiet. He still does a couple small rallies, but mostly he's just hanging out, probably in a big robe, being hand-fed grapes. Could I get another grape? Just put it right there. There we go.

They're eating themselves alive in the Democratic Party. I don't know if you've seen this. They're eating themselves alive. George Clooney. George Clooney, who I have tremendous respect for. A tremendous actor. He was on ER. Remember that? He was a surgeon or something. He played Batman. He played Batman. He did a tremendous job. He said, Joe's got to go. He's got to go. And if Clooney says it, you know, it's a big deal because he's married to a very nice Arab lady. She's an Arab lady.

She's a tough cookie and a tough Arab lady, but he's married to her and she's a tremendous person. Everybody talks about her. But Joe has got to be worried. If you lose Clooney, you lose the Democratic Party. You lose the whole Thursday night block on NBC. I got to do the clip thing. If you lose Clooney, you lose the Democratic Party.

You're going to lose Will and Grace. You're going to lose Laverne and Shirley, Frazier, that whole night. Frazier, you know, if you lose Phil Donahue, if you lose Kelly Clark, all these tremendous people. So anyway, Trump is- Clooney could be president, by the way, probably pretty easily. By the way, in the comments section in the New York Times after his op-ed, which is very beautifully written, one out of three said you.

You, George. President Clooney. I believe Jon Stewart and Clooney as a ticket could win right now. Or Matthew McConaughey and Stewart or Clooney. Yeah. Yeah. I think Kelly, did you say Kelly Clarkson could be the VP somewhere? She's very likable. Yeah. She's extraordinarily likable. I think Trump just took a beating, a beating, a beating. Jail, jail, jail counts. Court, court, court. And then he finally gets one week.

He gets to go, oh, now the pupil has become the teacher. I know. He is like the cat. I can't believe it. It's tremendous. Melania, would you like to watch it again? I've got it all teed up. Rewind VCR. Listen, they're eating themselves alive. They're eating themselves. You never stop someone who's hanging themselves. You give them more rope. You don't say anything. You stay quiet. You stay quiet. And so he is. And

It's the craziest thing ever. Steven Spielberg is producing the Democratic National Convention. So it's going to be extra awesome. The music, the pageantry. And it may be a brokered convention where they go, the great state of Louisiana now puts all of our delegates forward to one Matthew McConaughey.

or whoever they're putting. It could be a first vote. Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson on the third ballot. I mean, anyone can run. Right. I will put your hat in the ring, but I know you're an independent. No, you know, the funny thing is the Democrat, no, the Republican. What's it called? Convention? Yeah. I'm not smart. The Republican Convention is being produced by Rob Schneider for Netflix. Yeah.

He's tying it into his special. Rob would make a great comedian. Hey. Come on. Come on. Under your chair, everyone, there's a bag, a Ziploc full of magnesium. Take it. You're probably not taking enough.

We're nominating magnesium for vice president. What? I can nominate a vitamin? Yeah. Magnesium for vice president. It's a tough call. We've got turmeric. There's a lot of things we wanted. Now that we're doing our friend Rob Schneider on the show, he has to come on next week to reply. He's hilarious. Okay. So other than that,

What else is going on? Just who's going to be president. By the way, they are not, they're digging in hard. That's the other story. What happened? Biden is, Biden is, I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. Well, wouldn't you? No. Why would I leave? I mean, so they are dug in. It's Hunter, Jill and Joe against the world. Those three. Cause Hunter now is sitting in on national security. Oh, I heard that. Yeah. Do you think, um,

Hunter's asking his dad if there's any chance if Trump wins that Trump would use him on his cabinet somewhere. That's a bigger shoe than Clooney. Hunter's going, hey, dad, I'm totally in favor and you're going to win. No problem. You're the best ever. But if he did lose, could I get on Trump's cabinet? A recommendation letter or something? I mean, is there a way? Drugs are. Yeah. That's what's going on in America right now.

That's what I've been bombarded with, even though I don't know enough about all the politics because some things that come up, I just like it. Well, there's nothing really to know. It's just fun to watch the crazies. It's scary but fun. When he said he had a cold at the debate, I thought –

And he has to go to bed at eight. These are all just setups for jokes because you can't, Jimmy Fallon was doing the other night. You can't be like eight o'clock. Okay. So we bomb at eight 30, let's call it eight 45 and make sure he's totally zonked. And then, and by the way, that cold, he had just deliver one, uh,

germ over here just but one germ on one bug in his nose and it's over he's just gonna be out for a week and then you get Jill up in the window like Tom Cruise and taps with the machine gun I got this Joe it's beautiful man well when I get a head cold I always look like I'm staring at a volcano that's about to erupt like you look like the scream painting and Biden honey what happened I have volcano

No, when he looked terrified, too. Sometimes his eyes got real big. Do Trump. I'm in this split screen. Bobby Biden. Do Trump. I don't know what he's saying. A lot of people don't know what he's saying. I don't know if he knows what he's saying. That was pretty funny. That wasn't bad, right? That was good. Just go nasal. Just go like this. He works within the TV frame.

That's our choice. No, but, you know, it sounds like we're making fun of Biden. We make fun of both sides. Yeah, we made fun of Trump forever. I have to say that

A lot of this stuff was embedded out there in this last year. There was mumbles, there was stumbles. And so the impression I did, which got a lot of heat and a lot of love, you know, no, no Christ, the border was kind of controversial at the time. But now all our rowdy friends are piling in steep and everybody's making fun of Biden and Trump.

Which maybe is a good thing. Boy, are we going to get letters? Well, Trump, I mean, has been hammered since he's not even president again. So it's fun to mix it up. I mean, why not? Well, you have to. It's America. When Biden is no longer the president, either now or in four years, there's no reason to do him. But if he is a powerful, most powerful man in the world, you can't have a little fun.

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are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Ooh. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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No shells. Flavors are delicious. Snacks that consumers can feel good about. Yeah, next time you're shopping for snacks, you're craving something crunchy, something satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios, no shells. Your body and taste buds will thank us because we told you about them. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. Yeah, okay. So let's go on also to nothing. The 4th of July wasn't that exciting for me.

I did, now that we have our new term, I did raw dog it down. Sometimes I drive to Newport, which is about two hours, and I have such a crummy car. No radio, no songs. Just your thoughts? Yes. It's terrifying. I mean, who does that? Who has a car without a radio? What do you drive in the show? A Model T? This goddamn chitty, chitty, bang, bang car. You know, I have a...

an AM FM radio in it. And, uh, it's like, yeah, it's old. And then for some reason it doesn't every, every channel is 50%. So you have to sort of listen under that, which is drives you mad. And so I might have to cough up another two grand to get another one, another car hold, um,

But I don't have one nice car. I don't have one good car. Well, I have a good car. Yeah, I know you do. Fucking money bags. I've seen that thing. I lease. Yeah, I announced myself two blocks away with that. I lease the fuck out of that shit. I lease the fuck. Because every 36 months, they have a new, better thing at this point. It's exponentially more mileage or there's a little electric motor in there and all kinds of stuff.

You know, I know you probably like to buy and hold for 12 years and that's, yeah, I put in the barn. Uh, you know, have you ever gone to the beach and just raw dogged it? My mom was like,

oh, go to the beach. And I go, mom, the beach sounds fun, but when you're older, if you don't live on the beach, which no one does, where you just walk out, then you have to pee. You walk back in your house. You have to just to raw dog. Like when I was 16. Why don't you just walk into the ocean to pee? Well, yeah, that's where you poo. Just not near other swimmers. Yeah. And then you go, here's some shark bait. Yeah.

You know, I'm too Norwegian, Irish, and Scottish to just hang out at a fucking beach. I mean, I'm just going to sit and sweat and burn. I mean, these people park two miles away. They get their thing. Ka-kung, ka-kung, ka-kung. They're cooler. Go down some steps. If you don't have a freaking umbrella, you don't have all the accoutrements, just no shade, maybe a towel and just boil. I can't. Those days are over for me. I don't know if I said this before, but

There's something sad. It's a melancholy thing when you have a picnic or something at the beach. You set up the towels, the umbrella. You have your drinks. We're at the beach going in and out of the water. And then it's the time to gather up and leave. It's just a little sad somehow. I don't know. I just leave everything there. I don't want to gather anything up. I leave the cooler. I leave the umbrella. And I just walk away. I'll just buy a new one, yeah. Homeless guy will get it and be just really happy. Yeah, I don't want it.

Yeah. Hang on. We're going to start showing some headlines. We did headlines normally. We're going to try to get a,

Let's get someone from the Olympics on. Oh, by the way, I did see Horizon, which I really liked. Oh, you did? I was going to see it, but I was sick that day. Yeah, it's three hours. Sick that day. That was an old Hollywood Minute joke. First of all, I love Kevin Costner. Yeah. Can't get enough. So tell me about Horizon. I was a little surprised. It's pretty dark. Oh, really? It's pretty raw and real about...

settlers coming in, making little tents and log cabins, and then the Native Americans can't really hunt there. It's upsetting the food chain. They don't know how to talk to each other, so there's a bit amount of violence. It's always pro-Native Americans, right? Kevin Costner's usually pro. This was kind of down the middle. He was quoted as saying he was tired of everyone treating Native Americans like

so gently, delicately. Because it was probably violent back then. It was violent and they had legitimate worries and fears, but they was extraordinarily violent. So it's well-crafted. It's three hours. There are, you know, I, to me being bullied and I know you, you were the, I go nuts. I go fucking nuts. You go fucking nuts. You take 10 to get the shit out of people. Right. Yeah.

But there is a scene where a badass cowboy, hey, look at you, buddy. You pretty boy. You pretty boy. To Costner, who for 10 minutes tries to get away from him. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're too tough for me. I'm walking away, basically. I love it. Look at the little girl run. I won't tell you what happens, but it wasn't good for the guy who said, look at the little girl run. Did he say, hey, why don't you grab a wine again and some French cries? Yeah.

He did literally say this. Well, lookie, lookie, lookie what we got ourselves here. And I thought that is the most repeated phrase in the history of looking what we got ourselves here.

Are you a little funny boy? Yeah, we got a little girl cowboy. Is that what we got? They don't say gay, but they sort of dance around it. They dance around it. You a funny boy? Yeah. Yeah, look at you. You're a pretty little thing, aren't you, little girl boy? Yeah, those are my... You a girl boy, but mostly girl? And winner for best screenplay, Kevin Custer. We could have punched that up.

Yeah. So I like people getting their ass kicked. It's expansive. I would recommend it. And it's three hours and I was not fidgeting or, you know, I was like... And that's the first half, correct or no? It's four parts, supposedly. So the second...

A chapter comes out in August. So you have you you personally have like a month to see the movie. Biden has a month to see if he'll be president. And I have to have a month to still be this good looking at my age. A lot of timelines. It stares at camera. It's not going to be over. It looks like now my hair looks like a comb over, but it's not.

Well, let's see the headlines. What do we got? Let's show some of them. We're going to really riff. Oh, this was from Tim Dillon. I thought it was funny. He shows on the news, Los Angeles sees first drop in homeless population in years. He writes, it's so bad even they're leaving. Well, first of all, you're supposed to call them. This is my thing. I'm not against calling homeless unhoused, but it's the same sort of negative connotation if that's what that is.

saying homeless is mean on how's mean you might as well just do it in pig Latin like homeless. Hey, so because if who's hearing that and being offended, you know what I mean? I guess I don't know. Right. I didn't even, I thought homeless was actually kind of a nice thing to do. I mean, they're just, we're all bad movie away from being homeless. To be honest, I always said, you know, we, we gotta help the homeless, but what are we to do with the clueless?

That's the bigger problem. Yeah. I mean, you can't also not to bring up the border, but you can't double the people coming in and then they're all homeless, put them in the city and then say, scratch your head and go, I can't figure out homeless problems getting worse. You go, well, you can't bring in extra homeless people.

We have enough that we have a problem with that we can't fix. It seems, anyway. Look, we have the climate in Southern California. Yeah. And if you're going to pitch a tent, if you're working at Arby's in Kansas City, you know what? I'm going to LA. I'm going to live in a tent in West Hollywood. Sure. Cool. That's where you go. It's rough. A lot of services. New York is rough. Yeah, you can go to parks. I mean, there's places...

The weather alone, you're right. I see why it's more prevalent in California. Not to sound mean about it, that's a tough thing that we have not cracked at all. Well, here's a little sidecar. Yeah, go ahead. Los Angeles is hosting the Olympics in 48 months.

What is it, a baby? How long is that? Four years? I want to say it's cooler to say 48 months. Yeah, it is. Or like 1,400 days. Paris is doing it. So what they'll do is the homeless will disappear during the month of the Olympics, and then they'll come back in. Oh, somehow. They do that in every city, right? Every city, yeah. Anything that doesn't look appealing is gone.

But the meanest, ironically, was the Oscar committee when they wanted to do it in front of the train station, the Oscars a few years ago, and there's a lot of homeless people. And they said, if you're not out of here by tomorrow, we're going to take all your stuff and destroy it. All your tents and all your gear. No, Hollywood don't play if they have a party to put on. Yeah, if they have a party, but if it's just for us. They had a really important party. If it's just for the regulars, they don't care. Okay, what's next? Okay.

Oh, I thought this was a dumb story. Like Hallmark teams up with the NFL and Kansas City Chiefs to do a holiday Hallmark movie based on Travis and Taylor. Isn't that? Heather doesn't like it. Already. Oh, if they don't have Heather, then they're just going to get an audience. Yes.

Heather's a fan of them, I'm guessing, and a fan of Hallmark. Just don't want to merge them right away. It's a little too soon. Well, the question I have, are they going to have people playing Travis and Taylor, or it's just going to be a football player named Steve and a pop star named Susie? They're not going to use their names, right? No, I don't. If they're with the Chiefs, maybe. Well, I think it'll be named, but it'll be like, okay, of course. Yeah.

I love Hollywood. I love how quickly it moves. It's like moths to a fire. Like, this could be good. A little trend, you know? Well, it takes so long to come out that it's, I guess Christmas isn't that long, but I don't know. You know what's kind of weird, though? It wasn't attached to that article I read right as we got on. This is a stunner. Tarantino is going to direct it. Oh, my gosh. It doesn't seem like what I would picture. Okay.

I didn't even get a second before. That's a great straight man. Yeah, okay. I like it. Yeah, I mean, I could see that, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Travis, he picks up a guy and throws him into a wood chipper. A wood chipper, yeah, whatever. And Taylor applauds. Yeah, local bully puts the trees in the wood chipper and then puts a guy in him. Yeah.

Wait, okay, video, hold on. Oh, this is, okay. I like this one. Don't play it yet. This is a, well, I'll let you play out how scared I am. Go ahead. And then I'll tell you what it is. You can play with sound, yeah. So it's four guys in the back of a van. They have crowbars. They're attacking on the street. Classic. It's probably in...

Smashing all the windows. Heather, you're going to love this. Smashing the car. Kidnapping the guy. But nope, it's a marriage proposal, Heather. And the woman is fucking freaking out. They smashed all her windows in the car. She's crying. And now he's like, nope, it's romance.

And she's crying so hard from fear. She thought she was going to die. Yeah. They smashed all her windows with crowbars, pulled her over on the street, and he's waiting for her to come up for air to say, no, babe, it's all about this cutesy... Why isn't this a Hallmark movie? Well, this is... This is...

She does not know what to do with her emotions because she's so horrified. You know the phrase, red flag? Oh, she's like, I got to go along with it. She's hugging him. He brought her flowers along with like, they could have killed her accidentally. They smashed every window with a crowbar. She's in the car.

I looked this guy up, and he is a practical joker. She's going to live with things like this at least once or twice a week. She'll smash. She'll pretend to be a robber. I mean, it's going to be an exciting life for her. She's laughing going, it's so embarrassing. On my proposal day, I have diarrhea all over my face.

Yeah, I mean... There's a grenade inside the bouquet. Something's going to blow up. Yeah, there's another trick to this. Yeah, this is just the beginning. This guy works for bad idea genes. All right. Look at his stupid friends, the other killers.

Well, that goes off. I just want to make a note to myself. Don't destroy a car with flowers. Who are the bros leading them on? Bro, this is unbelievable. Out of eight guys, this is a great idea unanimously. Unanimously. This is fucking nuts, man. Not one of them going, is this a little too much? Aren't we going to scare her?

Your power to your computer. Oh, I just kicked it off. Okay. It doesn't matter. Go ahead, Dan. I mean, interrupt the momentum of our, I don't even know. I know that was, uh, all right, go to the next one. We're killing. I'm going to think about that. I'm going to think about that one. Next one's going to be okay. Here we go. Hmm. Christian church goes viral for selling plots of land in heaven. This is a great moneymaker for churches. I don't know.

$100 per square meter in heaven. They measure it out? That's like the guy from Horizon would be someone who would say, well, I'd like to get me two acres up there. He goes, well, two acres is a big chunk up in heaven. Did anyone have a question? I mean, they just proclaim it and then you give them money and buy the place. This guy, Pastor, claims that in 2017, God authorized him to sell these plots

God gets a 3% cut. Guaranteeing purchasers a spot near God's palace, regardless of the plot size. He has a brochure, the process. You get a middle-class house in the sky. You don't even get a good house. And a family of four. Right. It fits four. Payment. They add payment. Payment options include Visa, MasterCard, Apple Pay, etc.

bourbon bucks from uh bourbon street circus strip club you know what would be a great movie is you do the movie about this and it seems ridiculous and he's a con man this and that but you follow through the supernatural thing and it's true yeah this would be the greatest twist in a movie it's actually true yeah and you're up there and you're near the palace well i mean if it's true i sort of want to get in on it because i wouldn't mind having a

You know, nice beachfront property up there. Would you be questioning it at all, though? Wouldn't you ask this guy a question? No. What's there to ask? It sounds like a great deal. I don't push it. It's either true or not. I'd have to run it by Warren Grant, our business manager. I would just say, I'm going to get a job up there, and then I'll pay you then. Double. Oh, yeah. You could probably trick him right back. Yeah. Okay, next one.

Oh, I kind of like this. This is kind of long, but I just saw this. Real crocodiles were used in this old James Bond movie stunt. I just play it. I thought it was interesting. So this is James Bond, Roger Moore. He runs across the crocodiles. Remember this scene from the movie? Yes. So it said a stuntman really did it. I thought it was fake crocodiles. There's his first take. He doesn't make it. Isn't that cool? Oh, wow. And they're real. Wow.

Second take. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Never in a million years did I do this. The crocodile's like, we know what's going on now. Look at it right in the mouth. Oh, he's landing on him. No, no, and they're going for it. I know, and he's like, I can't get out of here now. Why does the stuntman now look different? Oh, my God. Probably he's a different guy every time because they're main. No, that guy's not the same one from take two. No, he almost got him in the nutsack.

No, their bodies were piling up. That is pretty dark. Roger Moore. And the fifth one is the one they used. Look. One, two, three, four, five. Hey!

Wow. Yeah, they didn't need to look exactly like him because they show him from the back and then they show legs down. Oh, no. That was seamless. Yeah, there you go. And then by the time they go, it's Roger Moore. Yeah, they had a guy from catering on. Can you do one? I mean, they're just going to show your legs, put on some black pants and go die. Wouldn't they defang the Crocs or something? No, not back then. Not back then. I worked with an alligator in Joe Dirt. I know you remember this. His name's Rocky. Rocky.

And he was made of rubber. He ain't rocky. And you wrestled with him, right? Yeah. What do I say? Oh, he ain't no puppy. So I have a cigarette in my mouth and I show them how to open his mouth and stick my head in and he bites my neck and he flips me around. It was actually hard to do. For the biggest footsie in America, it was hard to do that.

You know, you get hurt a lot in films because you're doing things your body's not used to or ready for. And you do them over and over. And you go again and again. That's how I broke my ankle in the Sandler film. Just jumping up to catch a basketball over and over again. Where were you? Turned my ankle. Click? No. Sandy Wexler? No. Before that. What was the other one you were in? You just talked about this. I was playing a coach with this high-pitched voice.

Come on, you got a basketball coach. Was it Jack and Jill? I think it must have been Jack and Jill. Okay. Maybe I did two parts in that movie. I don't know. But Stanley came with me to the... He was very sweet. And it's totally fine. Oh, I want to bring up something while we're here. On the other podcast, Fly on the Wall, applause. We have John Corbett this week. And he got so many... He got so much pickup in different articles about staying...

a very honest opinion about acting. And I sort of backed him up. I thought he was, first of all, a great guest for the whole hour. Right. Great story he told about all this. And then sum up what he said. So John Corbett, who was our last one last week, I think it's the Turners this week. Yeah. Bonnie and Terry Turner, the great writers. But Corbett, you can still listen to it. But what did he say? You sum it up.

Basically, he said two things. He was sort of joking when he said, if you go into show business, you're probably not going to make it. It's such a weird, fluky thing. And people do know that. Yeah, that's not shocking, but people are like, what? Yeah, and these conversations could be way more vast because there's people going on OnlyFans.com.

flirting with and making 500,000 a month and you can be an influencer and do YouTube channel. So it is different than when we came up. And then he just said at the end, he said he just wanted to be honest, authentic because that's podcasting that he didn't really, it wasn't really fulfilling his career choice because he,

Unless you – like we get to write our jokes and do stuff and maybe direct ourselves with friends. But he just felt that it was – he just wanted to be honest. He wasn't ungrateful. He's made a lot of money. He did it all voluntarily. But it wasn't something that he just loved. Unfulfilling, he said. So I think a lot of people supported that, understood it. When you're in show business, you're – first of all –

in the macro, you're just grateful you're in show business making money. But sometimes you get jobs that you just don't really like, but it doesn't mean you're ungrateful and don't understand that you have this magic journey. He was sort of giving the real version of what it's like to sit on a set all day. You work, you shoot probably eight minutes of a 12 hour day, you know, so that's real. And I also liked that, you know, he's a guy that has a lot of other interests. And so some people are only lasered on showbiz.

so good or bad that's it but if you like harrison ford wants to get off the set so you can build a house and things like that so some people have other things going on and he's one of them he has a lot of talent so i like that but i don't know if he caught shit i can't say that i can just say not really a lot of people thought it was just interesting yeah just an interesting very honest thing to say um so okay next story

Yeah, I like him, John Corbett. Incredibly nice guy. He's really smart. Oh, yeah. New law in Illinois requires family influencers to pay 15% of their earnings to the children that are in their Instagram account. Whoa. Oh. Oh, the hunter becomes the hunted. Oh, the pupil becomes the pupil. Farewell exploitation of your child.

So long, 15% of your gross earnings. Yeah, I mean, is that real? Yeah. Like they've made the law? I think. A little weird how to enforce that. Does the kid have to sue? I think it's akin to child actors'

The parents have to put 10% into an account. Okay. So they're kind of doing that. Yeah. I mean, these three are, I see these kids on there and they're breaking eggs in their forehead. You know, the mom's like, Hey, help me with this. I'm going to smash. And the kids are like, and the mom looks at the camera. This is a trend. And you go really? And the kid's part of this shit. It is a bit sweaty. I, you know, I guess it's been going on a long time. You know, they used to tell, uh,

little kid actors in the 1930s. Your dog died, now cry. And then there were laws around working kids 24-7. But you see it a lot. I think it's a good thing that if they're not doing it voluntarily, put some money away for the kid. If he's really... If that boy or girl is completely...

If they do this with dogs, we're in trouble because everyone's effing dog is in their thing. Well, one of the first things, which I do believe he ended up rich, which is one of the first issues around social media and YouTube that blew my mind was that it

who was like five named Kevin would open up toys and review them basically say he liked them or not and parents filmed it and I think he was making 25 million a year or the parents were. Yeah, I think there's some kid like that named Oscar. I just made

There's a new one now. He gets to 12 and they throw you out. He opens it up and he goes, this toy, it doesn't really, it's not smooth on the carpet. And everyone's like, oh. So a real kid giving real reviews, not a company. And he was making so much. I think he was a top 10 YouTuber.

every year like a million a month except like there's a cuteness aspect but you can't do it at 15 but at five me like toy right truck go fast right i get million dollars that's true when i'm on instagram it's just so cute that it's like not fair do you do do you try to be cute do you have like a cute attitude or no i'm so cute but i don't know it and that makes me cuter

You know what? If this podcast doesn't work out, let's review kids toys. Oh yeah. Oh, God, God. Look at this chapstick. I can't bite it. Okay. Next one.

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You do, David. And newsflash, LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, it might be open to the perfect role. In a given month, David, check this out, write it down if you want to, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn,

You're looking in the wrong place. Well, because they get what they want from LinkedIn. So why look around? On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. That's one day according to my calculations. That's right. And LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing so many hats that might not have the time and or resources to hire. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're constantly finding ways to make the process easier, even though it's easy already. Yeah.

They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program.

Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which, you know, time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older. I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took, grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is hola.

And hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta Stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, they have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curve ball. I think they're going to know what don't they have the language you want. Yeah.

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You understand? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation. So you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard. So this is the way to do it. Just don't type.

Designed for long term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. This one, I really don't know much to say about it. I was kind of shocked this was actually Mark Zuckerberg surfing in a tux jacket.

While sipping beer on the 4th of July. And holding a flag. It's funny they hold a flag because a flag takes a bad rap these days. Well, that's good surfing. I mean, well, that is. He's on a wakeboard, right? And being towed by a motorboat on a lake. He's not surfing an ocean.

Which is not easy, but once you get up and go... Oh, that's a wake. That's different. That's very controlled, yeah. It's controlled, but it still was a cool shot. It's still a cool shot, yeah. You easily fall off those things. So I give him, you know... He's got to hold the goddamn flag, which is kind of heavy and awkward, and then hold... I don't know. You got Bezos on the ship, and you got him doing that. And, you know, when I grew up, we had, like, they were secret billionaires, and they were, like, 100 years old, and they'd come out, and, you know, J. Paul Getty would be, like,

I got a lot of money. Now it's like they're drinking beer. They're on your hot stance. You just hear about these billionaires. They wouldn't be doing TikToks and out there jumping around. They're throwing it in our face. It used to be kind of hidden and secret. But now it's like, look at me. Look at my money. I'm going to put in a pile. Can you believe me? Look at how much it is. Look what I can do with my money. Wow.

They always go, Jeff Bezos bought a house in Malibu for $90 million. He makes that in four minutes. By the time you've looked at this picture, I've made $20 million. I've had 22 houses. This is the problem. Yeah.

For the human brain to understand $100 billion, we can't comprehend it. And then someone will give away $20 billion and keep $80 billion. And people are like, oh my God, they're so generous. You've got to get someone kicking it to Hawaii. Those guys just went through the ringer and they're not getting a piece of the pie that we seem to be chucking everywhere.

Like let some of this money land in Hawaii after those fires. I know. It does make... It's...

His ex-wife, McKenzie, she gave away – she got $68 billion in the divorce settlement. She said the marriage was rough, but it worked out to a million dollars a minute for the time she was married to Jeff Bezos. It's not a bad gig. It's easy to be envious or just feel weird. Social media and these billionaires and all these other people make you feel like there's a life that you're not invited to that's kind of amazing. Yeah.

You can only wear one solid gold shirt at a time. That's what I always say. Yeah. I have solid diamond shoes on. They're really heavy and I have a plantar fasciitis. What a question. Yeah, but it's worth it. Okay. One last one. Do you have anything we didn't get to, Dana? Hmm. Give me a topic. Let's improvise. Heather, give us a topic. Oh, no. Well, the Muppets should reenact that.

Oh, the Muppets should reenact that. Oh, let's see this one. Okay. This girl. Oh, yeah, this is funny. She's bragging about something that went viral. I think it's funny with volume. She goes. People be like, why is she famous? All she does is imitate seagulls. Can you? What?

It's funny she brags about it. Can you? That music is so funny. It makes anything funny. There's a guy that does it. I'll show you next week. That does that music and he uses it so effectively. I'll show it. But I like, can you? Can you? Yeah. I can't do seagulls. I can do a pterodactyl. That's pretty good. I can do, I can do Cary Grant.

Oh, I used to do... Do Cary Grant. This technology went away with being able to do the old-fashioned rotary phone. Oh, that's really good. No one knows what you're doing, but it's very good. That shows you technology. I know. We're doing good shit. Damn it! I do Cary Grant. If he was...

When you're born is a big deal. So Cary Grant was born, he was peak handsome when movies came in and they had cameras and screens. If he was born in 1820 in Prussia, he would have been frustrated. I can't believe it. It's 1820 and I'm in Prussia. And all I could do was rake this stupid cone. If only there was a way to blow my head up. I'm incredibly handsome with an incredible voice. And people can watch me all over the world. What the fuck is Prussia? Yeah.

We could call it Russia in 1820. Get back to work. Yes, it's German. It's in that general Prussia area. I ruined your whole bit. Get back to work, Comrade Grant. I don't want to get to work. I want someone to pitch it. He's like Dr. Loveless in Wild Wild West, that he thinks of a possibility of movies, but he doesn't know how to express it. Dude, I ran into Borat Sasha the other day, and it takes everything in your head

in your body not to go i like i mean how many times does people see the real sasha on the street and you have to do a bored impression it's too funny yeah what was his voice it's i like to go poopy and big is this what i put in my country wife like you uh prostitute go for good money you not so much

Yes. So you saw and I see you must do the prostitution here and you pay money for sexual activity like in my home country. Kazakhstan, yeah. Kazakhstan. Yeah. He buys a car and he goes, where's the pussy magnet? And they go, well, it doesn't really have a pussy magnet. They said this car is a pussy magnet. Yeah.

I want Sasha to do. That's funny. I want Sasha to do a Borat two. Did he do two or three? He did two. He'll do three. Do three. He's just got to find a place where people have not seen. If they don't, if they know, if you're a hidden camera comedian, you get too famous. You got to really go to Alaska and try. I think they're doing punked again. I just heard that. And, um,

That's tough because they don't want that out there. Of course, I just blabbed. He should take the character to Alaska and go to Eskimos. So do you make the igloo with the ice? Thanks for coming, Dana. My pleasure. All right. Check it out. We'll check you out later. Good night, Cleveland. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.