Melissa Villaseñor
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free shipping, Dell rewards, system configurability, and expert support. You can't go wrong with tech for everyone on your wishlist. When you get a Dell PC with AI, it gives back. Shop now at dell.com slash deals. Our guest today is Melissa Villasenor. Melissa Villasenor. And she's a

A delightful person, a cast member on Saturday Night Live for six years, incredibly versatile actress and comedian, a brilliant impressionist in which she does some for us. It's really fun.

Probably the best Owen Wilson. Of course, we always extract it. Oh yeah, Owen Wilson, that's right. Yeah, she does. And we really talk about her time on the show and sort of the fun of being on Saturday Night Live, the stress of being on Saturday Night Live. Just her journey, her adventure in that amazing and sometimes frustrating 8H17 floor. You know, we've talked all about Saturday Night Live being a challenge emotionally for her.

Yeah. Being live on television, so forth and so on, you know, so it's a great, great conversation. She's a standup also. We, I see her at the improv here and there, uh, followed her the other night and she does a great job and she talks about her life and she does a few impressions, whatever. It's all good. So I think you're gonna have a nice time with her. Yeah. And one other little bonus to wait for is she, she actually has an incredible singing voice.

She does different celebrities singing and herself. I mean, she's quite a talented young woman. So I would stay tuned for this, folks. She reminds me of me a little bit. Triple threat. Triple? Yeah. What are your three? One, funny. Annoying. Two, annoying and funny. And I have a knack for interrupting people.

I know, I got some good ones in today. Can you sing, kid? I really cannot. Can you dance? I'm a barely one threat. I'm not even a threat. But here, let's show them Melissa. Here we go. Here's Melissa.

It's so fucking funny. We can ask Melissa. I don't know about this one. Hey! What's up, Dana and David? Good to see you. We were just laughing so hard at something David said made me laugh so hard. It was a casual throwaway, David. We were laughing, Melissa, at the agents and managers. This happens in all of showbiz where

They're the important ones because they're like, you need to be friends with me because I tell the puppets what to do. And we are all the puppets. That's the thing. All of our companies that were clients have got bought post-pandemic, got bought by other companies and they got an influx of massive amounts of cash. But the assets, i.e. the puppets, I tell what to do. Do I get a piece of that? They go, unfortunately, no.

I get a crumb. Give me a fucking crumb. I'm the one on the road. I'm so hungry. Oh, my God. Right. How are you? I mean, golly.

You know, I feel good. Yeah. You look good. Thanks. Are you, have you been getting tan or something or are you just, I wonder, yeah, I am getting tan, but I wonder if my lighting is, it's not good. No, it looks good. You look good. All right. No, I, I won't. Yeah. I just, you know, I, I, I'm not a, I know we have to use ring lights, but I don't like them. They give me a headache. Yeah, me too. Well, but you have a light, right? Yeah.

I mean, you're near a window. Yeah, I am. You look like you got a window going. Window is the best. I can open up the blinds more. No, you're fine. You want me to try that? No, you look fantastic. All right. But how are you guys? How are we? Yeah. Happy that we see you. All right. That's very nice. When I found out you wanted me on this, I was like, this is so nice of you. This is really cool. What are you, crazy? Yeah.

I mean, six year cast member. Do you know how many people? Six year. 120 episodes? That's pretty good, huh? Of crushing it. I think that's what I did. That's exactly what I did. Oh, whoa. Yeah. I mean, you know, I tried my best. I felt like it was. We all feel the same. It's all a beating. Everyone's like, I fucking got out. Yeah. Yeah.

I felt like if I were more equipped for that or just a little stronger, maybe I could have kept going. But I'm a little wimp. Fuck, six years is like 200 years on that show. It's an emotionally violent sport, a show business. And then SNL is the Game of Thrones of it. That's true. And when it's flowing and it seems good and you're bonding with the writers and you have a sketch, you get a hold of it and you land it, it's like the greatest in the world.

But then there's all these times where you just walk off stage. Then there's everything else. You have audience members you wave to and they look down. They're like, even you know I bombed? Or even like, I thought it was painful when you would have guests visit come in town and you're not in the episode at all. You're just staring at them in your dressing room. You're like...

Yeah. They're like, you having fun? And I'm just sitting there looking at me. Yeah. They go, no, it's fine. Our favorite people are on. And you're like, oh, that's the worst passive aggressive compliment or question. You know, when you're not in the show that much. Did you have fun? I mean, were you having fun? Or when you have a bad set of stand up and all your relatives are there, you look like you're having fun. You know, look, I know it sucked. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But man, so much. It's hard to prep for it. It's hard to say, this is what you want to do. You get a fucking huge break and there's no real way to,

be ready people go it's hard you go that's too vague sorry i will figure out how hard it is in 18 different ways when i'm trying to get 200 and quarters on a sunday to do my laundry and i gotta walk up 18 flights of stairs and it's my one day off and i have no ideas for tom hanks on monday i know yeah i was lucky i was the last uh six person cast in essence

You know, it was just me, Phil and John. Oh, last six person total cast. Yeah. And then by the early nineties, when the interlopers, the youngsters, the bad boys of comedy, Sandler, Spade, Brock, all the rest, Tim Meadows. Then we started to have an expansive cast. Like we had a junior varsity cast that was going to take over. But when I got on, that was the last time it was just me, Phil and John as feature male players. What a dream. Yeah.

Jan Hooks, Nora, and Victoria Jackson. Let me tell you more about my utopian experience there. Melissa was like, I was cast member 14B. How many were on there when you got it? I was Melissa V. I was counting. I was counting.

there's so many 2016 uh mikey day alex moffitt pete davidson leslie jones estinley strong keenan who's always there he's great vanessa was there that last year beck bennett ad bryant kate mcginnon kyle mooney and yourself i probably missed but that's about 14 i guess i don't know yeah that sounds right yeah that sounds right

Too many. We had 22, I think, Dana. Because we also had like Frank and some people around the orbit that would jump in. And A. Whitney Brown and Tom Davis, they could jump in and write themselves in. So a lot of people wrote themselves in. And then there was a lot of feature players. I stayed feature for too long, probably two, three years. And I was the last guy to get pulled up to the bigs. So embarrassing. Yeah.

So, so humiliating before we go too far down how hard the show is. I just want to insert, I want to insert this for a minute. Uh, obviously I'm looking at stuff online and look at yourself. Obviously the lady Gaga thing I was planning on

on my computer she does it at update um melissa that's your name right yeah that's right it's so transcendently brilliant that my wife couldn't see she just thought so then i was talking to spade and walkie talkies goes so that wasn't lady gaga but also it was a very funny take on lady gaga while you did it and the way you move your shoulders the whole thing so that yeah

JLo with the hoops earring sketch. Just being with her was hysterical. The kid genius character, O'Reilly. He literally looked eight years old. It was kind of an amazing... I know you have a very youthful face, but it was kind of like you were 10. What is that one about? Well, writing night that week, I remember watching... You know Ellen DeGeneres on her show? She would have these genius kids go on and...

They just really bugged me. And then their parents are in the crowd like, yeah, this is great. And I was like, that could be fun if I played one of those kid geniuses, but

it just not that smart just very polite you know so that was like the angle and then i but i had heidi play the mom that was like pressuring me to really show off and be smart uh yeah that one was fun that was a fun one and what did the voice what did you use for that voice you also the clothes were great in the hair just really shrunk you down yeah i think it looked like i know where the planet i felt like it was i can't remember man i

that i totally understand that yeah you try to throw yourself years back you're like hey you did this impression you're like i haven't done it for 20 years just give me a second no no do it now man i can't i can't access it um does he sound like it sounds like the guy that goes well who's that little redhead kid that goes apparently

Remember he was on Ellen. He goes, I was at the carnival and apparently they don't let kids on. And apparently I've never been on TV before. And apparently. And we're like, right. And it's just like, that's the word he knew. And everyone. Yeah. Yeah. He really beat the fuck out of it.

And then he went on the show because he took the mic from the lady and he's like eight years old. He's like a chubby kid with red hair greased over. And he kept going, and then apparently they didn't want me to go in the Tilt-A-Whirl right away because I eat too much food. And everything he said was funny. And then they brought him and they go, can the apparently guy come on the show? And then he came in. That was his moniker, the apparently guy? Yeah. Good catchphrase. That kid's got some instincts. Yeah, he was killing it. I actually liked him. I actually opened for him.

Whoa. Yeah, he said that. Weren't you kind of a boy genius? Weren't you a chess prodigy? Oh, I was. Yeah, I was smart. Yeah, I was smart for a while. And then it all went to shit. It went to shit freshman year. I remember that almost time and day. When you started discovering girls, you suddenly agreed. It was also, it was girls, but it was also all our schools merged and I was known for math and reading because I'd leave class to go down to a

two grades down to go do math and reading with his Vietnamese kids. So I was kind of- Will you teach other kids? No, I would go to take, like in second grade, I'd walk down to fourth grade. Oh, oh, oh. And then come back and go, what's been going on here, guys? I was a little tied up with fractions. You'll learn about them in the future, yeah. And so by the time I get to high school, everyone's like, oh, there's the nerd from math class. And then my brother was cool.

And then everyone's like, oh, you're his brother. And then not just girls, just people were talking to me. And I was like, oh. And then I would skip class just because someone was talking to me. I'm like, there you go. There's the bell. I go, I don't have to be anywhere. And then I just started losing grades because I'm like, oh, I just want a social life where people are friendly to me instead of just treating me like this weirdo outcast. And so then I got dumb and plummeted so fast. Melissa, were your high school years delightful? Yeah. Where do you put them? You know...

I think they were all right, you know? Where were you? I went to, I mean, I was called a survivor. I went to an all-girls school in Alhambra, California, called Ramona Convent, 7th or 12th grade. Whoa.

Wow. Did any adult ever get busted during those times? Excuse me? Well, I mean, was it? No? I hear a common... On the up and up? No, I know. I didn't know any different, but I felt like it. Yeah.

I felt like it messed me up just with, yeah, with guides and social life. Cause I didn't know, you know, it was really awkward, but I did discover comedy then. So I was like watching you guys obsessed with SNL and I was already working on impressions and yeah, I started comedy at 15 at the laugh factory comedy camp. And I was like, this is what I'm going to do. I didn't even care about, I didn't go to prom. I was like, I'm over this. I mean, I know what I'm going to do. Oh,

I mean, people ask me this, like when you're probably eight or nine, you probably started to throw your voice around a little bit. And what was the first one that you got? You know, that's what they ask me sometimes. What's one of the ones you remember? Put it that way.

I think of your early repertoire. Like when I was 12, I started doing like the singing impressions of all the pop girls, Brittany, Shakita, Christina. That was kind of where I started with the singing impressions. And then I watched a lot of you, Dana, and worked on all of, I learned your impressions. Wow. Good. I love to pass it along. Anyone can say not God. Yeah. That's not. Yeah.

You know, what I was going to say, which is interesting to me, is that like, say you do an impression of your seventh grade PE teacher and then you go to a comedy club. That can be your it's now it's called a character.

But it's an impression of your PE coach. And if the PE coach somehow gets famous, it's the exact same voice, but now you're doing an impression. So the line between character and impression sort of blurs sometimes. Like I just did my brother Brad for Garth, and it was an impression of him kind of exaggerated. So I don't know. I'm sorry, my mind's kind of spinning because you have so much talent. We don't have that much time. Did anyone teach you how to sing? No.

Just sing. The fact that you can sing is a big plus. Sing as other people, but you can just sing. You have an album out, right? You have to. Yeah, I do. When did you learn you could just sing? Because I can't sing. I don't know. I felt like I did choir and stuff, and I...

I remember being a little kid and seeing people sing up there like in church. And I was like, yeah, I could do that. I heard I've heard myself saying I could do that. But I didn't have any proper training. I just I just liked it. And at first I was like, oh, I'm going to be a singer. But then I realized, oh, comedy is better. I can do impressions of, you know, and make people laugh like that was just another level. But I do like I do enjoy singing.

Just singing, you know, cover songs. And right now I'm trying to work on a bolero cover album of like Spanish classics songs and with my friend's band. Yeah. Of course you are. Yeah. I'm just like...

I love Spanish singing. You know, Linda Ronstadt, who I used to love, I still do. She, I remember when I went to see her concert and she did one half of the concert with Spanish songs, right? Yeah. She's great. Yeah, she had that album, Songs for Her Father and all the mariachi songs.

But that's what I'm hoping to do, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, she's so top notch. You will do it. You're already famous. Yeah, that's half a bell. And you're so talented. I think it's pretty much a no-brainer. It's like your friends are like, you got that one. Thanks. You got that one. I just want to fill in this gap a little bit. So you're singing like Britney Spears. So you're like a little miracle. Oh, yeah. All you people look at me like I'm a little girl.

That was like the first one. And then I go back to my speaking voice. You're like, oh man. Oh no. But the dichotomy is great. I don't have a voice. Spade has a voice. You want to have a neutral voice that you can throw around. Your natural voice is like this, you know.

But was that your, I mean, did kids, were kids amazed like in seventh grade and stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like a magic trick. They were really amazed. Yeah. It was cool. And then, you know, I mean, you've, I'm sure you've heard there, but like, yeah, the Christina. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, that's, that sounded a little bad, but sorry. That's great. I love that you're doing this. I didn't want to ask you to do voiceover. No, no. I love it. Like in a story like that, I think it's great. Yeah. Talk through it. Like how you got that. You just listened to her and it just hit you. Did you, did you get, did you get, were you not so good and then you got better or

with the Christina impression or did it just kind of hit you after you saw her on something? I think it's just like I listened to it so much and then you start practicing and you're like, oh, I could get, I could do this. But isn't she known as already a great singer anyway? And then you're, so now you're doing an impression of you can sing, but you have to actually be great

Yeah, I guess so. You know what I mean? People can't even sing like her. So you can sing like her. So you must be able to sing pretty well.

See that? See, I... No, that's... I do it. You are beautiful. You organically are singing from your diaphragm or whatever because most people try to sing it's all throat catch. Well, I do. That was a little... I felt like I felt a little push there. All right. Well, let me try to break this down for you, Dana. Bet MGM, which is also...

you know, at BetMGM on your, you know, all your socials. I was talking to Arnold about that and he said, yeah, at BetMGM. I go, what? He says, you got to go to the socials at BetMGM, right, David?

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We tried to figure out who killed Margaret Coon. She told me, "I'm gonna kill you." I said, "Well, do it, bitch. Go ahead and do it." We delved into the violent world of the Dixie Mafia. I'm an outlaw, and I was a thief. But I'm far from being the psychotic nutcase that I've been made out to be. And we tracked a serial killer in Laredo, Texas. Just turn around, please. Turn around. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Now, Gone South is back for a fourth season, but this time we're doing things a little differently. So in Gone South season four, we'll be bringing you new stories every week with no end in sight. I'm Jed Lipinski. Welcome back to Gone South, an Odyssey original podcast. Listen and follow now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts for new episodes every week.

I know. Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place because I also want to learn about your stories too. No way. Dana's boring. I'm a little starstruck too. Yeah. Well, we met each other in the clubs a few times and you were on a comedy competition show, weren't you? First Impressions, your show. First Impressions. Oh, really? Yeah.

And I got to say, that was such a beautiful year because I did that show with you and I was like, oh, this is so magical. And then I did my first pilot for Barry, Bill Hader's show. I was the waitress at the end. Oh. And I was like, oh, this is magical. Like all this just...

Just people from SNL are entering my life. And then that was the summer I got the show. It was just so cool how that was all the same. It was so beautiful. Well, it's fun. And I mean, I don't know if you go to clubs and you meet a younger version of yourself that maybe has a few impressions or is a good stand up and you want to give them props. You're still...

I mean, there's an organic competitiveness with comedians or clowns, you want to call us. You know, I always say the reason that class clown is singular is because if there were two class clowns, one class clown would kill the other. For the attention. Yeah. But you're a Saturday Night Live vet. You kicked ass on the show. You have all this talent. So.

When it means something to somebody who's like 23 or four coming up and you co-signing them and going, you know, you've got it. Just keep going. Yeah. Whatever you say. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like it feels nice to do that for like pay attention to.

Yeah. Try to help him out. Because you see Dana, I see Dana. And then when I get on the show, I don't know that Dana is worried about sketches or this or what. And then I'm like, oh, there's more going on in his head other than he's a star. I remember seeing John Lovitz. And then when I went to the show, I told Dana that John was sad. And I'm like, what are you? I mean, in my head, I go, you're on the best show in the world. And he goes, I'm only in two things this week. And I go,

Who cares? Who would even notice? Like when you're on, I'm like, oh, he's funny. I have no idea how many sketches people are in. And then I said, I just see you as like a star that's really makes me laugh like Dana. And then when I got there, I'm like, fuck him. And I immediately go, I just fell for it. And I already know the playbook.

You're not supposed to think this way. And then after two read-throughs, I'm like, I'm not even in the show. And then I started going, oh my God, I'm turning into this. I can't help it. It gets hard. I know. And you try to talk yourself off the ledge. But your highlight reel is pretty extensive, you know?

If you ever go online and check yourself out, you know, well, I know there is that one. I think it's, what is it? The, we are me too, or something. Someone put a compilation of clips and I look at it and I'm like, yeah, that's right. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah. You're scoring there. You're scoring there. You're scoring there. I saw you do Gwen Stefani on Kelly Clarkson. Oh yeah. And she was right next to you. I did it for her. I was like, that's, that was crazy. Isn't it scary, right? Wait a minute. She was right next to you. Three feet. And you're doing Gwen with Gwen. Yeah.

Yeah, I told her, yeah, this old bit I had of like when I'm in my car and No Doubt comes on the radio, I get into my Gwyn impression, which is a dangerous impression to do behind the wheel, you know, because it's a lot of... For a long time, I was in love, you will be...

Yeah, she liked it. And that was pretty cool. I saw on that and I was like, oh my God, she's going to do it right in front of me. First of all, Gwen is stunning. Gwen is super talented and a sweetheart. Seems I've briefly met her. I like that she keeps her hair platinum blonde and then wears bright red lipstick. She looks great all the time. It's a very potent look. She has a great sport about it. Yeah.

And she loved it. And she was sitting right there. And what a blast, but definitely ups the nerves. Yeah. Cause I, I feel like I've done my impression for JLo. That was frightening. Cause that's J JLo is another one, you know, you're like, what? And I think she was like, no, no baby. I don't, I don't think so. No, no.

See, I love it when, I love it when just that. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, I don't even know where I've heard J-Lo. I mean, I've seen her interviews, but it's like so perfectly encapsulates. And that's the fun of impressions. It's like, there is, there is her. Yeah.

So just a sidebar. What do you, what do you think Affleck? Are they, I mean, I wish them all the best. It's Jennifer Lopez Bennett. Do you want to go on and see if you can trend by having an opinion about it? Oh, I think I'm all for it, you know, but that. Me too. I wish everyone the best. That special is pretty funny. I thought it was a standup special, but I had the billboards of J. What was it? Yeah.

Yeah, what was it called? My Time Now. This is me now. This is me now. Everyone's like, I know. I kind of like doing dramatic J-Lo, you know? Like, no, you can't. Like the movie Enough when she fights back. I saw Enough. Every movie I see, I think that's happening. Yeah, because...

There's another one like called still enough. I've had enough, almost enough because every poster I say, I go, she has another movie out and she's on Instagram. She looks, and there's no hate. It's like, she looks beautiful every day, but give us 24 hours off. Yeah. I mean, that's a little, that's how I feel. I'm like, let's go away and let us miss you. That's what Lauren told me. Um, they can't miss you if you don't go away. I was like, Oh, that was like a big life lesson about showbiz.

And I go, oh. He brings it out. It's on like a Ten Commandments tablet. It's number three. They can't miss you if you won't go away. He has a Venn diagram. Here's where you are. Here's where people want to see you. Because they fit in your head. Yeah. But the continuum of the personality. Okay, flat wisdom, wisdom.

wisdom alert, potentially observation alert. Yeah. We're, we're all have some range of drive just even have gotten on Saturday night live. And then there's driving their super drive. And then there's certain people. And again, to your point, it's not hate. It's not even a criticism there. It's oxygen to them. Yeah. Uh,

More, more, more. And it makes you very wealthy. I mean, you're kind of an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert, you think? I mean, I've listened to some of your interviews or a little bit shyer than some other comedians. Yeah, I think I'm pretty introvert. I have trouble, even at the show, I had trouble kind of

speaking up when there's just so much going on. I'm like, I get so overwhelmed. I don't know where to fit. And then I'd rather just hide away. I don't know how to get in, you know? So like the writer's room and Pete Davidson's coming in or when's laughing and yelling, you know, like, like a big, and then you just go back to your, yeah. But I, you know, the second season when Steven Castillo joined the writers, um, he's still there too. And he, his mind, he's such a,

hilarious, silly guy. And I was like, Oh, now this is what I'm talking about. And we got our office together and we wrote the dying Miss Gomez sketch where I'm the old lady singing Nickelback as my last words. Yes. Can we get a little of that? Yeah. Yeah.

I never made it as a wise man. I couldn't cut it as a poor man. That's her. She's dying. She's on her deathbed. She sounds like, yeah, that was my, it was a standup bit of mine. And that's, that's what I want to say. The last words in the family is like, what the heck? Here's, here's mine. I love this. The silliness and the simplicity of that. Danny, here's my nickelback guy. Yeah.

Look at this photograph. Wait, actually, give me those pills first. I don't feel good. I'm dizzy. I'm trying to make those my last words, but then I get scared and I got to take my pills. I see. I could have done it as a man. I want to sing. I'm going to try to become more of a singer. People pretend to hate Nickelback, but they rock it out. Oh, they do. Yeah. Same with Creed. I love all of those guys. I feel like they'll wind up in a dead pool.

Just that song alone is such a catchy anthem. Do you ever do them? Can you take me higher to a place where blind men see? Blind men see? That's how high? That's fucking high. That's high, man. I've never been that high.

I got to get on space. You got to get high, high, high. So I want to ask you a question, a technical question. We can, we can bimbo. When you do a singing impression of someone, then you have to inhabit the way they create that sound. Like you hold your mouth. And so you kind of know how they get to those notes in a way, right? Yeah, I guess so. I think like, you know, even going back to Gwen, it's like, she's making a little face the whole time. And I think that does help the impression. Yeah.

And she kind of constricts her throat a little bit. Yeah. How does she even do that? Because her voice was so unique when I saw her doing Just a Girl. I'm like, I'm just a girl in the world. And I'm like, and that's all. But she can also kind of blast it out. But in that same kind of high pitch, I was like, God damn. I don't know nothing on music. And I thought, holy. Plus, she was so adorable. I saw her at K-Walk weenie roasts.

With corn. And I said, I like how you, oh, this is the worst compliment I go. I like how you sing, but also you ham it up out there. My friend goes, why are you telling her that? I go, I don't know. Ham it up? Ham it up? Because she kind of jumps around. You know what I mean? She jumps around. An international pop star with great physical moves is hamming it up? I know. It was wrong. What?

And she's like, yeah, I like how you ham up your corny act. I'm like, thank you. I thought it was a compliment. No, I swear to God, I said it. We walked away. My buddy goes, well, that went south quick. I go, well, I don't know what I said. He goes, oh, everyone else does. You said ham it up.

And I'm like, did her face drop? Well, it was, it was right after I'm just a girl was a hit. It was the weenie roast where it's just like, she was newer. They were an orange County band and it was down in orange County. And you're famous at this point. I thought I was a big fucking deal. And I'm like, Hey, like I thought I was Clive Davis. You know, I was like walking around like anyone gave a fat fuck what I said. And I'm like, corn thumbs up. They're like, Ooh, thanks.

Just got the Midas touch from whoever this guy is. Is that a Joe Dirt cap behind you, David? Oh, that old thing? Yeah. Oh, I try to get it out of frame. Heather, throw that in the garbage. Glad you noticed.

This is a set. It's called Boring Podcast Background. And it's just at a local- God, Dana's is at a 10 out of 10. For $100 a day, you get to do a podcast from this room. And it's so nondescript. It doesn't really exist. It just doesn't. But someone might come through that door. I like the tension of a door, that anyone could come through that door. Dana's is, he said, give me Jeff Bezos-

six months of Amazon office look. Just nothing. Just a door, a desk. I thought Jeff Bezos, you know, because I follow him. He's on a boat off the coast of Sardinia most of his life. And I thought he was peak jacked about a month ago. He's jacked. He's so jacked. If he gets more jacked, he's going to explode. Really? Guess what? He just got more jacked. He got jacked-er? A little bit more. Jacked-er.

Yeah. How? And she got bigger lips. I thought she can't do more lip fill. It's impossible. Everything's going bigger on that boat. Everything is getting large. You know, they have a full medical center on that boat. So she can get plastic surgery. She can get whatever she wants. I get nervous they're going to pop. I saw a pommel horse on top where the helicopter usually is. And Bezos is like, douche, douche, douche. I'm like, oh my God, he's going to go in the Olympics.

he's doing the 200 free and jeff basso surprisingly in third place today at the olympics all right white male rage uh update sorry this was an i'm just throwing out more okay good yeah classic bits it was it was uh dude that was that was all bulla

He wrote that. That's all right. Bola's a great writer. Isn't he amazing? That was so much fun. Yeah. Dan Bola. Wyatt Dan Bola with his good ideas. I thought he was so quiet and unassuming. I thought he was just Sandler's piano player. I didn't even know that he wrote all this stuff. But we know now. So what was that one? Tell me it. It was when the Oscars, I think it was all white males winning, right? And then-

He came up with this really good jingle. It was like, ♪ White male rage, white male rage ♪ And I dressed in like a gold outfit. I think Steven also helped on that one too. Yeah, and it just was a, it was just so catchy. It's like, ♪ White male rage, white male rage ♪ ♪ Joaquin Phoenix, white male rage ♪ - Was it because they weren't, white men weren't winning enough at the Oscars or something?

It was, I think cause it was all the characters in every movie. It was, everyone had rage. I think the Joker time. And then there was Joker is always in a bad. Uh, I think it was the mafia movie too. That, um, De Niro that long. Remember? Oh,

Oh, the Irishman? Irishman. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you mad about? What does anyone think that maybe Joaquin, who is brilliant, I mean, the first guy to smear the lipstick, because I've seen all the jokers all the way back to the 60s. All the way back.

Cool, nice, tight lipstick. Nice and perfect. Heath Ledger, God rest his soul, genius, comes out, smears it, first one. And Joaquin smears, will we ever have a full, beautiful lipstick Joker again? Kylie Jenner lip kit. It will always denote crazy, crazy.

I'm a crazy joker. Look at my smeared lipstick. If you got any doubts about it. Yeah. If you watch a poster, you go, that guy's crazy. I don't know why I went into that camera. I like it. Yeah, look at the lips. I'm crazy. The lips are weird. I'm crazy.

I want to get you in prosthetics in a film doing something because of your chameleons personality. Wouldn't you love to do something like that? Yeah. I would love that. I think that'd be great. Did you, were you on there with Sarah Sherman? She's a hilarious weirdo. Yeah. She was after it, right? Or did you overlap with Sarah? Just that lap. Yeah. My last season. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you were great. Yeah. Yeah.

She's a quirky kick in the pants. Oh, man. It's a great summary. She's so good. She's on tour right now and I see videos from it and I go, Sarah, are you okay? I'm flying out there. She's a kick in the pants. It's pure bananas. It's not straight stand-up. It's super fun. She is bananas. Way more interesting than my show. I'll give you that much. Yeah. The road to getting engaged. This is the story as old as time. It can be long, full of memories, or it can be short and thrilling.

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He makes everyone score and win. He's such a great writer. He's so good. And he wrote the Dirty Talk sketches for me, him and Streeter. I don't know if you saw the Dirty Talk. Right, with Donald Glover. You did one with him. Yeah, Aziz, yeah. That was so funny. That was a funny take where Glover was trying, David, pay attention. I'm circling things I want to ask you. Donald was trying to get sexy with Melissa in bed.

And then you just didn't get it or something. Yeah, it's like talk dirty to me. And I was like, yeah, you make no money or like you're. Yeah. All right, dad. Don't call me dad. It's just like I kept getting it all wrong. It was really fun.

Childish Gambino or Donald Glover? I don't know why Dirty Talk, I did a bit in this one with my standup, just the rhythm of it, always when people, when standups, so I did it like, what are you gonna do, huh, huh? You like that? Where did that come from? What are you gonna do? You're gonna get, get, get, it's kind of aggressive. Yeah, that's funny. Let's form our own sketch show. And then she goes, I'm gonna, and I'm like, no, these are rhetorical, don't answer.

What are you going to do? Do you like that? And she goes, yes. I go, I said, don't answer. He's a rhetorical. That's how I ruin it. It's that math, that chess genius guy comes out in the worst possible time. Meep, spelling bee. Cecily Strong. Was she there? Oh, Cecily? Yeah. You guys did some stuff together. So talented. And...

I love doing singing bits with her too. She's such a great singer too. Oh, really? Yeah. Yes, but there's only one Melissa. Sorry, you do sing great. I see. There's a new sheriff in town and she has a microphone. Run away, pitchless singer. Pitchless? I don't know. I made that up. I like that, pitchless.

You call me a bitch? Who's nicer? Aidy Bryant or Vanessa Bayer? Oh, man. You're both sweet. You're both sweet. Yeah, that's an answer.

Who's nicer? No. Who could beat up? Who could win in a fist fight? Pete Davidson or Leslie Jones? Leslie. Leslie. I know. We had Leslie on. She was so funny. She almost beat you up, Dana. Oh, my God. The best. She beat me up through the Zoom. I actually was bruised. What about Owen Wilson? Hey, give us a little bit of Owen. Do you have a little one handy?

Yeah, yeah, I'm right here. Yeah, it's great to be here. I feel like a fly on the wall most of my days. Most of my days. See, the interesting thing about Melissa is you form your mouth to how his mouth goes to get the sound. Yeah, yeah. You visually make your lower... Yeah. Are you the same, Dana, and David, too? I know you do impressions. Oh, yeah. But...

Do you like to see their face on your face? Does that happen? For me, that's how I feel. I guess so. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I've never really practiced in the mirror much. Yeah. I just sort of like, but if you take on the persona of,

Like when I was doing Carson, I just automatically, you know, I didn't have to look in the mirror. It just was. Oh yeah. You could feel it. Yeah. I picture them in my head, their face and what they're doing. And I just try to talk like I'm in.

get it close to what that is, but my face is probably doing what I think they're doing just naturally. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened. I think that's what happens to everybody. I did Owen once. I don't even do Owen that well, but when I hosted, they assigned me Owen. So it was more of a funny look and I love Owen. We just had Luke on this and Luke sounds a lot like Owen. It's almost just a different tone, but it's that same cadence and it's kind of slowly talking. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe enunciating. Right, Dana? It was kind of like that. Luke was hilarious. Yeah. I mean, I actually coincidentally had dinner with Owen once with Lorne Michaels and then once with Kevin Nealon and it came up in conversation and he didn't like when people did him. And so I said, okay, I won't do, you know. Yeah. I remember he hosted and I asked him if we could do the Owen impression together and

He was like, I feel like it's done. You know, I feel like people, it's over. You know, he was, he didn't want to do it. I like sad Owen. Like, yeah, you know, I got a couple of stuff. I saw you doing on one of the clips I was watching.

uh doing like sort of quick impressions maybe it was part of the ted talk i'm not sure but you were doing just like here's this person doing this and i always love that technique i do it too it's just fun like yeah like a quick one you know like kristin wiggs skydiving um i changed my mind i'm i'm scared i'm scared um who would do kristin that's great even though she's

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I remember having a bit. It's like Sandra Bullock if she knocked over a bunch of dominoes that were lined up in the room and she just hits it and goes, no, no, no, no.

And that's it. She always has a little breakdown like that in movies. It's funny because you got a picture like Kristen Wiig, which Kristen Wiig, because she does impressions. She plays different characters. So what's the one that makes sense that resonates? And that one did resonate with me. The announcement of the premise is funny to me. In other words, you saying this person doing this person's already funny. Like this is the

You ever have bits in your act that get a laugh that you feel it doesn't deserve that big a laugh? You're like, I do John Travolta, John Travolta going way back. John Travolta as a 15th century astronomer. So already it's like, what? Already good. And he's like, you know, you know, I don't know. I think the earth could be round or some shit, you know?

And the laugh is so much bigger. It's like kind of quasi bad comedy is sometimes comedy. I think it's, it's true though. Cause you don't want to overthink it. I get caught in that loop of overthinking bits and I'm like, no, no, no, no. The dumber, the better. Yeah. And, and for me too, I have more fun.

Like I had this. Go ahead. Oh, no, no, no. I had this bit. I like when it does personally connect to me a little bit. So there is some grounding, but I was. Yeah. This new bit of it's again, it's dumb, but it makes me laugh. It's like because I do vocal warmups before my shows because I sing a lot. And there was a couple of weeks ago I was in the green room and I was practicing. I was getting high up there, you know, whoo, whoo, whoo.

And I was getting high and I got so high that I farted. And other comics around, I was like, oh damn, I could never just be a high for one moment, you know? And I thought that if I was like, do other singers go through this? You know, does Ariana get up there just and people and she and people like, oh damn Ari, was that you? Yeah. I guess I'm a dangerous woman. You know? Yeah.

I did a variation of that. The idea is that someone is at the peak of their ego and power, and they're really doing fantastic. And then the chair is pulled out. Yeah. I did a kid's movie called Bastard Disguise. They said you have to have a fart joke. So I came up with that thing. A big, big, big laugh. What was it? Walk us through it. Whenever the bad guy would laugh.

And he'd be with someone. He'd be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then there would be 10 seconds of silence. Just that. So it was all about the silence. Yeah, the plan is working. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So I came up with a fart joke that made me laugh. Because I said, you need a fart joke? Don't really have one. That's great. I like that one. I love that.

Pull that one out. And now it's yours. You can say, you can use it this way. You know, I was on a podcast with Dana Carvey and David Spade, and they were talking about fart jokes. This is after you do this one. And he used to do this one. Bad guy. So you just lean on it as a friend because it's not part of my act, but now you can use it if you want as a tag. Thanks. Do you want to try it out? Yeah, I'll try it out. Thanks. Take it out to, do it on Bo and Yang's podcast.

Do it on bone. Was he there when you were there? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's a fat cast. And 2022, and then you, by the way, you did SNL during the pandemic, which, and then- Was that the beginning of the end? Yeah, that was challenging, but there was one night I had-

Because remember the video game, I don't know if you play games, but Animal Crossing was a big game during the pandemic. And so I was playing, I've been a longtime fan of that game. And Mikey Day and I made a sketch where we're playing online, our characters in my town, and everyone wants me to die from COVID in the game. And he like did such a good job with, that's the thing. He's just so good at the timing and the jokes and everything.

I owe a lot of thanks to him for helping me so much. Especially during that. I didn't come from, I didn't come from sketch writing. So, and, and are you guys, you were standing. The first, first time I did a sketch, uh, like on a stage like that was at Saturday night live. So I didn't same with David, all standups. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's where I was always so such a struggle to write. I was like, I don't know how it's hard. I eventually learned by observing and, and you know how other people do, but it's like people like Heidi that came from like, she, she arrived there and just wrote three in one night. I was like,

but she came from that training from ground it was just really yeah and they come in with a lot of sketches that they did yeah yeah literally ready for television yeah do you have to work on it cheating no I had it what about Miley Cyrus you ever seen her sing in real life like have you seen her somewhere yeah I think it

I think at the show she... Oh, was she on? I love, she's so good. Oh, yeah. She really is. I got a wrecking ball. Wasn't she on a wrecking ball at one point? Oh, yeah. That was a big one. I'm coming like a wrecking ball. That one? Yeah. Yeah. What about when she did, you won't know this one, but she did Like a Prayer. I saw her live in one of her concerts, like a stadium concert. Yeah.

It was better than Madonna's There I Said It. Yeah, There I Said It. She's good. And I like Madonna's Like a Prayer. It's good. But I think I just, she had a cowboy hat on, Miley, and she came out like a young guns duster. And she fucking wails on every line. I'm like, I would black out. I was like, whoa. Yeah, she's good.

I'll do impressions. I'll do her. Yeah, do it, dude. Yeah, I will. I mean, my impressions were about one a year. But the problem with SNL is you just get assigned stuff and they go, you read a sketch and read through and you're like, in three pages, I have to do, you know, Alec Baldwin. You're like, I do? And they're like, oh yeah. Did they assign you stuff, Melissa, like that? I mean, because that is weird to go. It would happen. Yeah, for sure it would happen. I think my favorite moment was

of this happening was, um, so we're wanting Sandler hosted and, uh, there was a Sandler family reunion sketch and the, and at the table read, I wasn't originally in it, which is like, why did you write me in this? I, you know, but they had, they were like, Hey, the writers were like, Hey, can you read as water boy on behalf of Kristen wig? Cause she's going to play water boy. So I was like, yeah, sure. I'll read it.

And I did it so good at table because I'm like, that's my favorite. And Lauren was like, yeah, maybe keep Melissa as water boy. And I was like, I don't care.

So did you work on that at all or you just had it? No, I had it because I've always loved Waterboy. Go ahead. Sorry, that's my dog. That's my dog. Yeah, Sandler's kind of whatever that rhythm he does with the characters that are not too smart. He does his thing with his mouth. I saw a movie where you play someone that looked just like me. I saw it on a big old screen. I said, hey, that's me up there now.

No wonder it made 300 million. What'd they do with KW? Did they kick her some other impression? She played the mom character, I think, from his CDs or something back in, like, they're going to laugh at you. They're all going to laugh at you. Yeah, they're all going to laugh at you. Yeah, yeah. I should show her that tape. Yeah, that was so funny.

They're All Gonna Laugh At You was... Is that the album up on the wall, Heather? That's an album. They're Gonna Laugh At This Sandler Boy or They're All Gonna Laugh At You. It's actually from... I think it was borrowed from Carrie, the movie Carrie, where she was gonna go to school and they go, they're all gonna laugh at you. And he did it as a sketch with Smigel and he kept saying, they're all gonna laugh at you and we were all cracking up at the table because it was so... Just kept singing over and over. They're all gonna laugh at you. And then he had an album called that and then we did...

I have a poster of all of us on recording one of the albums. We just did a little bit parts, but definitely the fun of Sandler's being on those albums when the albums were doing something and they would go gold or something. You know what I mean? You go, holy shit, he's got an albums. One more thing. Yeah. It's great. Would you ever, um, I don't think you'd want to do this, but it,

it's interesting that you could do a show in vegas i'm not saying you should do it but danny gans was you know i know it's like you go on you have the orchestra you're funny right you do stand up pretty much can do every major pop star which people love seeing yeah um

I don't know. I'm just saying if you ever were bored and wanted to just go out and live in Vegas for a year, you know. Yeah. It would work. I would totally be down. You do really? Oh, and introducing Gwen Stefani. And then you do Gwen Stefani. Then you do some of your standup. And then you go into another song. You do Jennifer Lopez. You come out as Melissa and you do five minutes about you. Yeah. Like on your TED talk was really funny how you just worked it all, all full circle.

Yeah. It was 12 minutes long. And at the end, it was kind of poignant, you know? Yeah. All right. So it's a done deal. It's a done deal. Tell Vegas. We're doing it. Hello, Vegas. Hey, can I do my show, please? And I...

Your favorite one to do is Dolly, right? Dolly. Yeah, I do like Dolly. Because of positivity? Yeah, yeah. That was a bit I had in the TED Talk too. It's such a good voice because my voice sounds sarcastic. I don't believe me when I say positive affirmations. When I go, I'm smart, yeah.

but during darling i'm so smart i'm lovable i am capable i will always love me yeah that was that was and that was the that update was the same format as the gaga one where it's me just admiring them loving them so much that i dress like them and that nice like balance of

being myself, but also doing the impression and singing. And I was like, that was, I loved doing those. That was so fun. What's the newest Dash Pass annual plan benefit?

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And I would have a soda or a light beer and get a cheese pizza. Yeah. Okay. So I would watch. I was doing this last night watching The Penguin. And that's on Max. And when I order Dash Pass, Door Dash, I get, yeah, pizza's a favorite. And I get some diet drinks, no names.

And I get basically food that to stuff myself, maybe a burrito also. Yeah. Um, it's a guilty pleasure. It's a guilty pleasure. I mean, you could watch, um, the house of dragon and we're dash past order some sauteed dragon. Right. Yeah. That was a joke. Usually when you're in, that is a good time to order in. And so you can pair up stuff with your shows if that's fun. Uh,

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You know, I heard, I don't know if I'm going to tie it forever, but I heard Gaga on a show, maybe it was Stern, and she was doing Edge of Glory. I didn't really know the song. And I was like, God damn, she's good. Because she was just doing it with nothing. She's like, I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. And I was like, in my car going, oh shit. That's not the one you do though, right?

- The Gaga update was I did the shallow 'cause that movie. - Yeah, oh. - So big. - It's a funny song in a way. - Yeah. - 'Cause of the shah-ha-hallow in the shah-ha. - Yeah, yeah. - You know that rhythm? Have you seen the video of her doing a read-through at a Star is Born read-through?

Wait. She's doing it with the whole cast. She's doing a read-through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see that. And then she's by Bradley Cooper and she sings it. Everyone's like, holy shit. Whoa, the chemistry. I did a cheesy stand-up bit about that because I had, I've frequently, Mike Myers was at the Oscars that year, wanted me to come. He was there for Bohemian Rhapsody. So I was in the third row with my wife and I saw Gaga and

and Bradley Cooper up there and you, there was no lighting on the piano, but I had a view to what was going on where, who was reaching for what in the shallows. Yeah. I had you going, but the truth of the story, I did have a view and I thought they were, you know, lovers just for my blink. I know it's

It's pretty nice. So you, you just quickly not to, you said that you had panic attacks. So we've had on the show, Bill Hader,

Well, I was surprised. Just said really intense panic attacks, like crazy. I said, even the last season could seem like he was just so loose. But so did we all battled mental health issues in a sense of just the pressure of the show and stuff? And then you wrote a book about it, basically. Yeah. Whoops. I'm awesome.

I do a lot of drawings on the side and they're, they're funny and also heartfelt. So I put them together in a book about how do you get to that silly side of yourself when you get so serious or so caught up in it. And so I separate, you know, um, but yeah, I think I was just too much in my head. I was like, I had, I think I, I just remember there was one, one time at a table read, like the break.

And I was, I couldn't, I don't, I don't remember how I got there, but it was, I was kind of running through the halls, like panicking and I couldn't catch my breath. And I was like, and people were like, whoa, are you? And I couldn't, I don't know. I didn't know where I was or something. It was too much. I think I,

I don't know how that felt. What season was that? How long? That was the last season. Yeah. Yeah. And it was still kind of like, you know, because even anyone, even if you were able to manage it, you still there is some sense of relief when you walk away, even though there's nostalgia. And this is this is now behind me because.

With Lorne, he was like the coach. Do you have any new characters or are you just going to stick with the church lady? It gives you a little nudge. You feel like I would worry about the show. Are we doing well? David passed out pretty much every other read through. Just completely passed out.

I pretended I was passed out because I wasn't in sketches. So I go, I couldn't be in any way because I'm asleep. So I just lay down on the table. No, that was just low blood sugar. No, I did have that problem, but I was so stressed out of my fucking gourd. I couldn't see straight. But also my hair got brown. I only had a white blonde hair my whole life and I'd never been anywhere where it wasn't sunny. Yeah.

And I'm like, and, and, you know, New York sunny 10 minutes a day when it's noon and it comes through the buildings. Yeah. And it's, and it's noon. You're just inside. Yeah. It's shadowy again. So I'm like getting like no sun on my body, no vitamin D, no one's drinking water. No one's eating healthy. It's all pasta and pizza. It's all popcorn in what Lord's office. That was the main thing. He has a best popcorn. Yes. Yeah.

The best. If nothing else, Messonel. If nothing else, Messonel. We had that good popcorn. Lauren has the best water, my socks. You get them at Keith Hero Airport. Dude, if there's an earthquake, that would be my safe room. I got to climb into Lauren's office. The whole movie would be me getting to Lauren's office to get lifesavers. Let's put up the titanium shell, shall we? No blast when we get through it. No cast members. For real.

Do you like some sushi? Do you want a hand roll? Press a button. But how did you like that? You know, Bill Hader talked to it. You talked to it. So now that when you are away from it, are you better? Are you? I do feel I feel great. Yeah. Yeah. And I but I also want to still keep working on. I'm a people pleaser. Are you guys as comedians? I have such a.

I want to be as strong as these other comedians and performers where it's like you get, you just push through and still stay true to yourself. I think I, I, I,

Well, I had the need to please disease or it's still a naturally organic thing for me. But I had two personalities. The other side of me was really competitive. So one time I was in this club and, you know, there's sort of these alpha comics. They're not necessarily funny, but they scare the audience. Like just really loud. Yeah. Look at this fucking guy in the front row. And I was like, yeah.

They were kind of laughing at me. Yeah, look at this fucking guy. What are you going to... Who are you going to fuck? Right, right, right. So those guys were kind of giving me... Because I had little boys haircut and I looked 12. And they were kind of giving me a little soft... A little bit of shit. Kind of laughing at me a little bit. So I said, okay. I'm going to get multiple standing ovations. So...

I always love it when I come off the stage and I, and I, the guy was really cocky and kind of give me attitude. I see the fear in their eyes, their eyes get real big. That's what I live for.

when I just hurt their very being. So I have a passive aggressive people pleasing side. But on the show, the people I hooked up with on a regular basis, I don't mean sexually, but I had Mike Myers was my partner. And so I played Garth. I love doing Garth. I love it.

Like Tom Hanks said, sometimes it's great to be the guy next to the guy. And then Hans and Franz was with Kevin Nealon, my good friend, and then Phil Hartman with Johnny Parsons. And so, and there, there was no competition. It's just totally all of everyone's scoring. Yeah. Yeah. So how would you, how would it manifest yourself if you wanted to be more strident in the green room or where would it, cause you're just, you just go, you're the headliner, you go on the club and I mean, well, how would that, how would that,

Like now? What would it look like right now if you... I don't see what you're trying to become. I mean, more aggressive in the green room or with comedians? No, I think I just... It's probably less competitive now. It's less competitive, yeah. And I find the people I love working with that feature for me. It's more fun, right? And even just, yeah, just the friends that...

help me be a better person and performer. That's what I want to just play and create stuff, you know? Yeah. Cause at the end of the day right now, it's you on the stage with your audience and everything else is background. Yeah. Also, you know, you're going on because at SNL you might have weeks you're not going on. So if you can go to a standup set, you're like, at least I'm getting 15 minutes or an hour.

where I get to do it. So that's fun. You get to write for it. You get to have a beginning, middle end. And that's tough at SNL if you're not in anything or you have two lines here and you're like, I feel like I'm getting behind. It's all the same weird feelings. Yeah. I've been doing this...

It makes a lot of sense for me, but I've been doing it. And you're welcome to do a set if you'd like, but I do a morning show now at 10 a.m. at a little theater in Altadena. It's called Fresh Coffee, Fresh Bits. And everyone just does new bits and I bring coffee for the crowd. Wow, that's a great idea. Just get up, have coffee, and then do a set. It makes so much sense. I told Taylor Thompson the other day, I was like, and she was like, yeah, that makes perfect sense because you're a good person. Yeah.

Because at comedy clubs, she was like, yeah, comedians are horrible humans. Well, we're not great. No, no, you guys are great. I'm not saying that. No, I know what you're saying, though. No, I never hung out. I mean, there were people who really hung out. And the comedians would hang out and go places and do this. And I'd have a few friends and stuff. I wasn't antisocial, but I never really liked to be around like 15 comics hanging out with

Maybe one or two, but you, is this true? Like you have fans and they call themselves Melissa monsters. Well, Melissa monster. Yeah. That was after the Gaga update, but yeah, I think I've just been leaning more into the place where it's kind of a little kinder and a little, and I feel like my comedy it's that it's that, you know, I don't feel, I feel like I, when I go like after really tough,

Comics like you were saying that have, okay, I don't know how to, but I'm trying to. I know I'm a good performer and I have, but I just have a lot of, and it's nice. I tried to,

make sure it's joyful for myself too. I think that's the operative word, you know, is, and you, you have a lot of, well, this sounds militaristic, but you have a lot of weapons. I mean, the way you can throw your voice around instantly and, you know, at monologists, you know, um, jokes, myths, you know, they don't get to do like,

Like if I start to get into a rhythm as Johnny Carson, I'll go 10 minutes or, you know, I don't care. Do you have any jokes? No, I'm just riding the wave. But, you know, joke people and writers, I have so much respect for them. They need to have, like Dave Attell needs to have three or four punchlines a minute.

So his special was 35 minutes and it was fantastic. But boy, he had to set up punch and brilliant turns, you know, but people like you, you're a performer, you're out there, you're fluid, you're, you're, yeah. And I, and I, and yeah, writing like, like punchlines and stuff,

That's what's hard for me. But I try to meet with, like, I actually do write with Nealon and he helps me a lot with those, just those quick little. Oh, he's great. God damn, he's so fast. And I'm like, how come I didn't see that? You know? He's one of the best that can do it. Yeah.

He's the best at a guy come out like, okay, we're going to get started here in a minute. You know, he's got the mic up really high and he's moving really slow. And then, all right, we're pretty much halfway done. Okay. He has all these funny. I came out on lights out and he's sitting there. He's the panel, you know, he's on the panel. And after three update jokes, he goes, David, what do you think you're going to wear tonight? I go, I think I'm just going to go with this. He goes, oh, okay. Keep going.

Yeah. He's got a million of those. Yeah. It's just these throw away nothing things. Yeah. All right. Good. You know, uh, kind of, yeah, we love, we love Kevin, but yeah, it's good. You and him are a pair, but it's great. You know, when you're around friends and they're comedians and, um, you can tag each other's stuff or, Hey, you could maybe do that or,

you know, when you're just out to dinner with a few of them and stuff. So yeah, Nealon, he's also just a very nice person, you know, but you can be a nice person and still win in show business case in point. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, we all have doubts. Let's see. Passive, aggressive and a people pleaser. Well, my, my, did you go to therapy? Cause I was in therapy for five years about people pleasing. Oh yeah. She's, she's,

She said I was a people pleaser and I said, "God, that's a great observation."

And she said, I got it. Is that your closure? She said you have ADD. She said you have ADD. I go, look, a butterfly. I got to tie my shoe. What'd you say? She said I was passive aggressive. I said, well, you've known me for a couple of weeks. I've known me for 60 years, but you're probably right. Anybody is this on? Turned into a chunk, Melissa. No, I know. I know. I see. Now I think I got distracted because.

David, where are you? I'm in a cell. This is... No, I'm just looking at the skateboards and then there's like little nails on the wall. Were you hanging something there before? Yes. Good off the Columbo. This is dark green, but it looks light green and we're having a problem with that. And then people at home can turn off the show now. But also I had... You know what was up there? It was that picture...

Well, anyway, I had a picture up there, but it reflected too much. And then it was a big thing. And then I said, why not just more me and less background goofiness? So I went with that. Well, if you move your laptop down, would you be more centered in the frame or Greg crops it? No, I go like this. There's Bruce Lee, of course, on a skateboard. Because Melissa has a really nice tight frame. Well, she knows what she's doing. I'm new at this. Sorry about the scruff. 200 shows in. Don't be jealous. Yes.

It's for the ladies. I look blurry too. Everything's gone wrong on my end. I'm going to jump off. Melissa, thank you. It was great talking to you. Thank you guys. Congratulations on your six years on SNL. Honestly, only on that. Congratulations on your six years. Well, and then the rest of your life. I see Melissa at the improv sometimes and I followed her last time. Yeah. Remember? See, this shit's happening out there, Dana.

I love it. We're out there fist bumping. Great trying to catch the wind of, of, of,

the arts in essence is that you're always trying to write your best bit, have your best show and that never ends. And that's why you can't ever climb comedy mountain and get to the very top. So it's this elusive, cool thing. And you seem to be on that journey, ladies and gentlemen, you know, but you know, just, just trying to find here's my skillset. Here's who I am. And I can go anywhere I want with my eyes. So, yeah.

Anything positive to end with, David, or are you going to go out cranky? No, she's tired. I'm cranky, yes. I'm cranky. I'm getting in here with the interior decorator. We're going to move the nails. Oh, you need to make sure you eat. I'm going to move the nails around and put them in different spots. No, I didn't mean to. It looks fine. You can keep it. Okay.

That skateboard says Jack Spade. That was at my brother's company. Okay, well, I'll write you an email with the rest of this. You guys, thank you so much. Enjoy this so much. Thank you, Melissa. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Have a good day. Bye. Hola. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.