How To Photograph Your Fav Artist with Katia Temkin
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Okay, hi guys. Welcome back to X's and O's, a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex. I'm your host, Shannon Beveridge. I don't know why I'm doing my intro. I don't need to do that, but I did do it. So I hope you enjoyed it. And before we start, let's just address the elephant in the room, which is my t-shirt.

Didn't think I'd be wearing a shirt that says the boy is mine, but here I am. I thought it was only fitting to wear the shirt today with the episode with Kat because Kat is a longtime collaborator and friend and we worked together on this set when I took this picture for Ariana Grande. And yeah, it just made sense. So obviously I took this picture and then I bought all the merch that it was on because I needed to have it. So I'm so stoked. I think it's so...

I don't know what my life is. It doesn't make any sense. Hopefully you learn more about how I got to work with her in this episode and you'll understand how me and Kat met and started doing all the stuff that we've done together, which has been like really crazy, amazing stuff. So grateful for her as a friend and as like,

A co-worker sounds terrible. A collaborator. We work together sometimes. And I love, love, love working with Kat. She is amazing. She's also a lesbian. So it is so fitting for this podcast to talk about all these things. And I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed filming it. But obviously, I had the best time of my life because I was just hanging out with my best friend for an hour. So it's always so fun to film an episode with a friend, obviously. It's nice. Other elephants in the room. Me. Me.

When I started making this podcast, if you remember, if you've been here from the beginning, I mentioned that I had kind of taken a huge step back online and shared a lot less and

And I felt as I shared less, more people were like filling in gaps and blanks in stories for me. And so this podcast, which is called X's and O's, it's about relationships and sex and friendships and queerness and like all those things. I'm nervous. I can't even remember what I was going to say. That's, I'm stressed out. I'm anxious because I just don't want to say the wrong thing. I never want to say the wrong thing. I don't want to say too much because

I don't want to say too little. I want to say the right thing and it's always like who the right thing. What is it for? Stress. Okay. It's ironic because I feel like I'm kind of in the same position. I was in with the song stuff. If you were around back then my ex-girlfriend wrote a song about my past girlfriend when she was my current girlfriend. You may know it. You may not know it but the song was called Becky so hot and

Obviously, I've now had that ex-girlfriend Fletcher on the podcast where we talked about it and all the ways that it impacted me. And I tried really hard to keep that episode, those two episodes, personal to just me and how the song affected me as a person. Obviously, there was a whole other person that was affected deeply by that song.

Obviously, her name is in the song. And just like it's crazy because it's just like with the song. When the song came out, I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know how to talk about it because I felt like if I did talk about it, it would draw more attention to the song.

If I didn't talk about it, it was drawing more attention to storylines that I wanted to like stand up for myself. I wanted to stand up for my partner at the time. Like I wanted to do all these things and I didn't know what to do. I did not know what to do. I did not have, there was no roadmap of like, and this is what happens if that happens because no one is prepared for that.

No one thinks that's gonna happen. Even when you date an artist, you think, "Oh, there will be songs about me." I did not know what to do in that situation when there was a song about her. Did I do everything right?

no way possible. No way possible. Am I doing everything right today? Absolutely not. Definitely not. Never going to be doing everything right. But I am doing my best and I was doing my best then. Anyway, all this to say, when I had the podcast episode with Carrie Fletcher, obviously we spoke for our own perspectives. I was like, I don't want to bring in this third party because it's

I want her to be able to talk about it herself if she wants, ever. She did finally get to share her side of the story. I think that she deserved to do that. She deserved to have her side told and I'm glad she did it

When she wanted to do it, how she wanted to do it, with whoever she wanted to do it with, like that was her prerogative 100% and she had every right, every single right to do it. Also, if you've been keeping up with this podcast, I think we're like almost into like the 40s of episodes. I don't know. That can't be true. Are we in the 30s? Anyway, if you've been keeping up with this podcast, then you know I have done my very best to not talk about anything

person directly unless it was public knowledge. Like everything I've said, I've tried my best to speak about indirectly. Obviously, a lot of things have impacted me and like things I talk about indirectly, things get brought up a lot.

But I do try my very best to be respectful and not to share any information about like past partners that wasn't already public knowledge. There were some things that came out of this conversation that were things I have not talked about about that relationship. And like, I don't intend, even though I have this pod, I have this podcast, there's a part of me that's like, you should, I should talk about it. I should talk about like, you know, my side of that story too.

That being our relationship, not the song stuff. Because I do think it is true that there are two sides or three sides or four sides of every story, whatever the story is, right? So there are two sides of the story of my past relationship also. What I will say is even before that song was released, there was a whole relationship happening, growing, developing,

And I 100% contributed to negative dynamics in my last relationship. There were tough things happening.

within that relationship, regardless of outside forces, and then there were also outside forces. The song being just one of those things. My past relationship being just one of those things. The internet being a huge part of that. And the internet was not that kind all the time. But I also contributed to a lot of negative dynamics in that relationship. I'm not going to expose any other things that weren't already talked about

publicly even today. This is so hard to talk about and not talk like it's so hard with the filter of not saying everything because you can't really. I think there are two pretty major takeaways from the relationship part of um

My ex getting to share her side of the story. Those two things being one, I waited like 10 months to make our relationship official. And two, I moved on quickly between my girlfriends. Okay. Yes. Both of those things are true. I think when I started talking to my ex partner, I thought naively that I was more healed than I was.

I also think I naively underestimated the power of the internet and what the project I did with my ex-girlfriend, the sex tapes, would do to a relationship that was just beginning. It was very hard, very hard to like create a solid foundation while the internet was finding out that we had dated all that time. And then they were having their opinions about it and they're making like

edits and videos and I naively thought it would be easier than it was and I was wrong. I was wrong. I had already developed strong feelings and I thought, okay, we can work through this. We can make it. We can make it work. It'll be okay.

And then as time went on, there were other cracks within that relationship that had nothing to do with anyone but just the two of us and like the way that we communicate. We were exclusive like very early on. We were not sleeping with other people. We weren't talking to other people. I was committed to that relationship. I definitely had a fear of commitment, a fear of the label girlfriend, a fear of...

Being in another public relationship, a fear of what was wrong with me, that I had had two long-term relationships that hadn't worked out.

uh covid lots of stuff lots of extraneous and internal situations going on that led to us not being officially dating for 10 months i regret that i made that decision because i think it created so much anxiety and i paid for that for the rest of our relationship and i felt guilty and bad about it forever because i don't think i gave us a fighting chance by doing what i did

by waiting that long to become official. The way that I handled that was wrong, but I just didn't. I was dealing with so much anxiety, bad coping mechanisms, and a million other things. I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect girlfriend. I never have been. If I've ever led anyone to believe that I was trying to portray myself as such, I'm sorry, because I'm not. I am a person. I am just a person walking around. This is my first time here too. I'm trying my best.

And I am so sorry for the people that I've hurt. I did even worse jobs probably in each of my breakups because of things I do work on in therapy, whether you guys believe it or not. But yeah, I am a people pleaser. I'm conflict avoidant.

I let things build up inside me and then I creates resentment. All of these things I know about myself, all of these things are things that I'm working on. The other thing being the moving on too fast. My breakup that I went through before my last relationship was very tumultuous and lasted for like a year. It was on and off and on and off and on and off. And then when I got together with my last girlfriend, it had been off for like six months.

But it's so confusing because obviously there was like nuance. It's not a black and white situation. It was not a black and white breakup. I regret so many things about it. So many things that I did. I regret so many things I did. And I am so sorry for so many things that I did. Just as far as like commitment and timing and...

the internet and my ability to like see things with 20-20 vision because I was not probably in the right place or ready to get into a relationship. I think if anything, I just want to say like my internet platform, my persona, my who I am, the content I'm making, what I want to make and what I hope to create is representation.

What I never want and never intended to do was to represent myself as a perfect girlfriend. The point of the content I'm creating is just to create conversation, to have queer representation, to invite different guests onto this podcast each week who absolutely

whether they have a platform already or they don't have a platform, have a chance to sit and have a conversation and share with the world what it is like to be them. Okay, mental health check this week. I will say, obviously alluded in the last two weeks that my mental health was not that amazing. Obviously, that is directly tied to some of the discourse that's been going on about me online and just feeling like the stress of wanting to stick up for myself or like

knowing that people don't know the whole story and wishing I could tell, but also knowing it's not worth it. And also knowing that the internet lasts for like two weeks and everyone will be talking about something new next week. And there's this fine line of wanting to be like, but you guys, and then being like, but if I say anything, I'm just adding to the noise and it will last longer. It is a very unique situation and position to be in for people

Hundreds of thousands of people to hear stories about you, to know things about you, to have songs written about you, to have any of this stuff happening. It's unique. It's very unique. And I won't complain about it because I'm so blessed and it has brought me so many good things in my life. But it is unique and I will mess up. Things that happen in my personal life that you guys are privy to like 0.5 seconds of,

And then it's really easy to make like a conclusion about someone from that. People are so much more dynamic than that and so much more complex. But in the meantime, I hope you just enjoy the content that I'm making as far as representation goes, as far as conversation goes. I know that my real life heartbreak is more entertaining and...

I get it. I find it. I see how it's entertaining. It's definitely entertaining. I'd be watching too. I would love if you could remember that every person that you hear about in these stories is a real person. Real people with their own whole story and life behind the hour that you get to hear. There are years behind some of these stories. Years. I don't know what the hell I just said. Hopefully it's

Hopefully I can edit that into something worth sharing to the world. Okay. I love you guys. Thank you so much for watching. I appreciate you. Okay. Bye. Quinn, you're in my spot. This is for you. I'm good. For you. For you, girl. Thank you. Now what? Say gay rights. Yeah.

what the hell is on my hat what the hell what the hell what the hell okay no yes come on hello mom oh my god okay let's just see if it's terrible we can stop cheers to us to popping my podcast cherry why do i think you're gonna say podcast pussy

Okay. Hi guys. My name is Shannon beverage. Welcome back to X's and O's a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex And today I have one of my most requested guests one of my very best friends in the world Katya Temkin She is a photographer a creative director a lyric video master That's intense. That's true

She does it all. If you've seen her work, she's amazing. If you haven't seen her work, it'll all be linked below. And if you don't know, she literally is like one of my best friends for the last five years. So I'm so happy that you're here, Kat. Me too. And she's probably also my most reluctant guest I've ever had in my life. This is...

Probably like the third time we've tried. Well, we definitely, yeah, kind of. We were supposed to do it in New York. We were supposed to do it in New York. And then we didn't. And then we didn't. And that's my fault. No, that was your fault. No. But also, Kat is definitely more familiar behind the camera than she is in front of the camera. This is your first podcast. This is my first podcast. But it's not your first YouTube video.

No, I did one with Chris. And he did my makeup. There you go. And I did his. Okay. And it was kind of good. And you had fun. So this will be fun too. Yeah, but the fact that I can't. Just don't look over there. I'm not going to look over there. You guys, Kat's not going to look at you. I'm shy. I won't either. Also, it's a podcast. A lot of people are just listening. Isn't that nice?

Hold that. It is nice. I knew you were going to do it. All right. Yeah. Also, Kat is one of Chris Clemon's best friends, which is kind of how we know each other, but also not. So should we go in? How do we become friends? How...

How did we become friends? It doesn't make any sense. No, it doesn't make any sense. Sometimes I'm like, we're friends and it like trips me out. But like, it makes perfect sense that we are friends, but the way we met is kind of out of character, I feel. Yeah.

At least for me. But... No, yeah. You're pretty... You are... You'll go meet up with people more than I do. No, that was like a very like weird time in my life. Me too. We did that. Why did we do that? I don't know. Should we tell the story? We were supposed to like go get drinks. And I feel like it ended up getting pushed into like... Late. Like late. Like 9 p.m. we met up. And I was like...

Going through a breakup. Me too. And I was like, in my yes era. Me too. And I was like, all right, well, sure. Here we go. Let's fucking go. I guess. I guess. Anyway, yeah. We were in a yes era. We were in a yes era. But we didn't know each other. Okay.

We followed each other on Instagram. Rewind. You followed me. Thank you. Okay. I followed Kat on Instagram because I think through Chris, like I think Chris was sharing your work or someone was sharing your work. Was I working then? Yeah, you were working. You were taking pictures. Of what? Like lots of people. Like the Jonas Brothers. Yeah. Your Instagram. Don't you remember? I didn't know what you looked like. For some reason, like when I feel like we met, I wasn't working. You were working. I was like taking photos of like

NYU headshots. It was 2019. Yeah.

You were working. Oh, I was kind of working. You were working. And you were doing lyric videos and stuff. So Kat and I followed each other. I followed Kat first, apparently. She followed me back. And then I followed you because I thought your work was awesome. And then I knew that I knew you. I knew who you were through Chris. I was like, I know who this girl is, but I don't also know who this girl is. And we had DM'd each other a few times being like, oh my god. Love your work. Love your work. Love this. Cool picture. Cool this. And then...

I was in New York. I was going through a breakup. I didn't know that Kat was going through a breakup. I was in

Kat was in the closet. Not only you were in the closet, but you were also in the closet on Instagram, like as a as your face. I did not know who you were. Honestly, showing my face is new. It's a new thing. And I'm proud of you. I just started doing it. And you're on a podcast. And I'm on a podcast. Yeah. Show your face. No, I literally so I go to get drinks with Kat and I did not know what Kat looks like. So when I got there, I was like, wait, I'm not exactly sure.

Who she is. But I was like, I was riding on the fact that you would know what I look like. No. And I got there first. When does that ever happen? I think. No. You were there first? I think I was there first. Yeah. That sounds more right. I kind of like don't remember it that much, but I do remember like the whole night. I remember we sat on this picnic tables outside. Yes. Oh my God. And then they brought us inside. They like closed the outside. I forget the second part. We were inside like in like a. We went to the standard, the beer garden. Mm hmm.

Yeah. And then we had to go inside the standard because they closed the beer garden down. That's the latest I've ever been out in my entire life. At that point. I was like. At that point. Now you're crazy, girl. But it ended up being like the best time ever because we both were going through breakups. We didn't know that about each other.

But we sat down. Did you know I was gay then? I didn't even know you were gay. I didn't know anything. I was leaving. I was with Eros. I was leaving Eros. And I was like, am I going on a date? Like, I don't know. I'm going to meet up with this girl. I only know her from Instagram. I don't know what's happening. I don't know if she's gay. I don't know if she's straight. I don't know anything. I don't know what she looks like. Get there. Talk to you. Within two minutes, you're like, I'm going through a breakup with my first girlfriend. And I was like, oh, my fucking God, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I'm going through my breakup with...

Not my first girlfriend. And then we talked like for four hours at least. And we met up late. And we've been friends ever since. Yeah. We became friends really fast. So quick. And also the pandemic happened, which is crazy. We met like October 2019. Yeah.

September, October, November, something like that. 2019. You're right. We spent our last COVID day together in New York. At your apartment. And then the world ended. Sort of. For a minute. But the crazy thing too was the first night we met, Kat was telling me all about the creative work she does, who she was working for, whatever. Yeah.

And I was telling her about my background and how I got started on YouTube and stuff. And I was like, yeah, like I started on Tumblr. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. And then Kat was like, wait, what? She's like, I'm working on this project right now. And they want it to feel like Tumblr. Like it was a lyric video and the literal like creative direction was Tumblr, like vibes. And I was like, oh my God, I could help you with that. So the next day I started working on like a

yeah I directed that I was like we can execute it but like let's hire the best person at tumblr to do the tumblr thing so the first we've literally been friends and working together from the beginning in a weird how crazy so nice that's so sweet wow also we work together so well and in a way that is like no like it's not like yeah I don't really feel stressed at all I'm like oh if I can help I'll help

Yeah, but also like then we did like a bunch of those like pitches together during COVID. And we didn't get all of them. We didn't. Not all of them. We didn't, but I learned that there are no bad ideas. We were coming up with... Actually there are... Well... We were... The date McRae... Shh. Shh.

There are some bad ideas. That's how we became friends. That's how we started working together. But basically they were like, went hand in hand. Now. I'm scared. No, this is fun. Where are you from? Let's like tell the people more about you. Tell the people more about you. I'm from Texas. Talking to that. I'm from Texas. This is my first podcast and I'm scared. I'm from Texas.

Who are you handing the mic to? I am from Texas. Me too, if you don't know. But we are eight hours away from each other. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Remember when I went on my tangent about how big Texas is? How could I forget?

You did not let that one go. No, I didn't. Anyway, Texas is huge if you didn't know. But Kat's from McAllen. McAllen. Which is essentially Mexico almost. It's like, it's my favorite party trick ever. Well, yeah, ever. It's all the way at the bottom of the map. And then like you zoom out a little and it's like the red border. And that's Mexico. You're literally, and you're Mexican. Yeah.

I am Mexican. Your first language was Spanish? Thank you. Oh, you tell the people about me. Well, you won't ever tell anyone that that's the case. Do you want to speak some Spanish to them? Absolutely not. Can you say in Spanish? Can you just say... No. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. How about we tell them when we went to Barcelona and your friends were like, I don't think your friends speak Spanish. And I speak fluent Spanish and it's only because I'm just...

Shy. I am shy. No, literally. Can you say it?

Welcome to X's and O's, a podcast where we talk about queer relationships and sex. No, I can barely say that in English. How do you say queer relationships and sex in Spanish? Don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know. See, this is the problem. Anyway, yeah, me and Kat went to Spain together and I was telling all my friends in Barcelona, I have like some random like lesbian friends over there. I like nonverbal. I was like, oh, my friend, I can't speak Spanish well at all, but they can't speak English well at all. And I was like, this is perfect.

Katia speaks fluent Spanish. And my one friend literally pulled me aside to be like, I don't know how to tell you this. That girl doesn't speak Spanish. I'm like, no, she does. She does though. But she's shy. She's very shy. She's a shy one. But you're on a podcast today. I'm on a podcast. And for all the shy girls.

You could do it. You could do it. You could do it. Look at that. You could do it. Okay, but how can you be as shy as you are and then work with like the most famous people in the world? I don't know. I really don't know. I feel like maybe I go out of body. Because you're not shy on set though. You like kind of like take on, well, I'm not saying that you're like

outgoing on set but you are like a there's like two versions of you yeah this little like gay man comes out of you like on set you're literally like a little sassy gay man I don't I yeah I feel like I go out of body but for like a

A very, very long time. I went to school for, obviously, photo. And when I got there, I, like, moving from Texas, I was like, wait, I'm not this, like, extroverted, like, superstar photographer that, like, Annie Leibovitz is. And so for so long, I was like, I can't be this. I can't be a photographer. Like, I can't, like, do the thing. And I, like, convinced myself that I was going to be an editor and, like, a retoucher and, like, whatever.

Became an intern for like the retoucher at SNL and like went into like Broadway videos like post house because I was like, I'm not I'm not like this like certain type of person to become this role. But you are. But shy, shy people can do it. You could do it. And I wish I knew that. I mean, yeah.

It is crazy. You literally changed your major. Like made them let you do your major differently. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to be an animator. I'm going to not be in front of anyone ever. We need to explain that. We also need to talk about school. Let's go back. Let's talk about how did you get into photo in the first place? Because you became passionate about it in high school even. Yeah, when I was like 15-ish. You've heard those videos. Yeah, but tell them. I'm surprised.

When I was 15, my mom wanted to throw me this, like, big, like...

Quinceañera? Yes. She knows me so well. She's like, she's not going to say the word. She's not going to say it. She's like, this is why my friends didn't think you speak Spanish. And instead of having that, I was like... That. That. That thing. You're so cute. Instead of having that, I would much rather you buy me a professional camera. I don't know, like, what possessed me. I was like, just...

anything. I'll have that. I'll have her. To not have the attention also, I'm sure. And I got a camera and then after that I was like, I'm going to be a photographer because I hate everything else. I went to a magnet school that was only engineering and

Oh, really? I knew that, but I don't know why I'm acting shocked. I'm like, oh, really? We love a host. Tell me more. We love a host. All of my electives were... Math and science. Yeah, like computer programming. Which kind of is crazy because obviously it did come in handy later. And we had these little circuit boards that we would hardwire things to...

I don't know what I was going through, why I wanted to go to that school, but here we are. No electives, no art. Well, there was an art class, but I didn't take it. It was like art AP 101. That was the only thing. There was like no like cheerleading or football or like theater. What the hell? What the hell? That doesn't sound like Texas at all. What the hell? What the hell? Yeah, and then when everyone...

kind of realized that I wanted to be a photographer at the school they were like that's kind of random but I had I had I had like besties who were like let's let's do little photo shoots together and we would like shoot in like high school in high school too like if you owned a camera people were like the girls who wanted their picture taken would let you know that they wanted their picture taken

That is a baby. Quinn's here, if you are just listening. Yes. So I applied to a bunch of Texas schools and like random schools and I got rejected from all of them. That's so crazy. Including TCU. Thank you.

Not the TCU shade, but also, yeah, the TCU shade. Also, like, how? Everyone gets an appeal? Everyone gets an appeal? I got rejected. But you applied as a photographer. Like, you applied to a photo school for everybody? I don't remember what I applied for, but I remember getting, like, a rejection. No, thank you. Perfect. But NYU was the only school I got accepted into, which is wild. Bizarre.

And also in their photo program, which is only what, like 40, 50 people? My freshman year class was 30 kids. Only 30 kids got accepted. And I was like, are we sure? But that's great. Okay, NYU's on to something because they actually crushed with your class. They got all the people. They're like, 2016, you're going to be a star. You're going to be a star. Oh, Maggie Rogers will take you. Katya Tumkin will take you. Chris Clemens, you come too.

Kami Mendez? Kami. Literally every one. I was like, are you going to?

Do we name drop her? Yeah. But literally NYU, that grade just so pumped out so many successful people. Yeah. And that's love. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. There's been a lot of people from that class. Not just the school. The 2016 class is insane. And then you got in. But it is crazy because you went you got in for photo.

I did get in for photo. And then you were like, I can't be a photographer. And then you convinced them to let you do animation as your like final project. Well, they were like, I was like, I hate this. I have to be behind everything. And I wanted to learn animation. And I tried to get into the animation program. But they were like, you can only start taking animation classes if you want to transfer into the film program your senior year. And I was a freshman. And I was like, can't do that.

That makes no sense. And then I like learned it and I convinced my like photo classes to let me incorporate animation into like the projects, I guess. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, no, she's like really serious about this. Like, let's let her do it. Let her do the thing. Which is crazy because then that's kind of how you started doing all your like lyric video stuff.

Yeah. Right. Or like that's how you learned how to do. That is. Yeah. Right. Yeah. The first I was doing a lot of like random like motion graphics, like VFX stuff. And then once I graduated, I took on this unpaid internship. And which I think is because I wasn't getting paid and I was doing work for them. And they were the first people to like sort of merge like music and

and animation. I was making like these like random swipe ups for like artists that were like coming in to actually one of them was Carrie. Crazy. This was like 2016, 2017. Crazy. And Zara Larson. Illy, Illy, Illy. Illy. And then I sat there and I was like, this is like, this is what I'm, this is it. Which is so crazy because I feel like too that you like were on like right on the pulse of lyric videos and then lyric videos also during COVID again. Yeah.

popped the fuck off because no one could make anything. Yeah. Can we just name drop some of the artists you've made lyric videos for? Drake. Ariana Grande. Post Malone. No, I haven't done Post Malone. Yeah, you did Post Malone in the sushi? No. What the hell is that one? I don't know. The...

You're going to prove me wrong. About getting like food from Tokyo or whatever. It was like cool. Like a DJ. Oh, yes. That is Post Malone. You're right. But it was Tiesto. Tiesto and Post Malone. He was on the song. Yeah. Len and Stella. No, didn't get her. No, you did for. Nope. Okay. Jonas Brothers. Yes. Nicki. Nicki Minaj. That's insane.

Who else? I feel like I... I mean, a million. I mean, pretty much everyone. Yeah. I don't know. There's been a lot. Did you make one for Christina Aguilera ever? Yeah. Yeah.

Before I shot her. That's crazy. Yeah. Before I shot her. Kat's worked with everyone you've ever loved. That's the thing about Kat. And that's the crazy. And she's so nonchalant about it. But anyway, that is so crazy. It is crazy because you thought like, oh, I don't have the personality or whatever to be a photographer. I think that's so important. Yeah. And I had someone tell me like, you don't need to. You don't have to like be a certain type of person to do any sort like thing. Yeah. Like.

Like you literally like were you were so doubting yourself that you thought, OK, I have to be behind. Like I need to be working from home from like behind a little computer screen, which is so false. And also you like thrive on that. Did you ever feel like I can't like you? I feel like you go through like anxious moments where you like. Oh, my God. Yeah. When YouTube changed to like the vlogger, like the like out and about vlogger, I was like, I got to change. No, but like that's the thing. It's like if you are.

You, yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing. It's the same vibe of like, wow, I, I need to be, I thought I had to be the YouTuber who was at home filming in their bed, which, well, we brought it back. We brought it back. But I can vlog now too in public and stuff. But yeah, don't doubt yourself because of that. Like if you're talented, talent speaks louder than personality. And then your personality also thrives when you become more confident and comfortable.

Yes. Thank you for saying that for me. Yeah, it's true. That's true. That's what happened to you. How did you start working with Ariana Grande? Because the fans want to know. The fans want to know. That was like the question in my DMs. They want to know how did that happen?

Okay. Okay. Here we go. I started working with Republic for a while and I like slid into a bunch of people's DMs. You did cold and cold emails. Yeah. I used to wake up at like five in the morning and like spend like five to nine every morning just like stalking people and like finding like digital marketer at like Capital Records and like, and then I found someone who worked at Republic and they

DM'd him, Tim Hurstich and I love you so much. And he was the first person to like kind of respond to me and be like, okay, here's my email. And I ended up getting connected to his team. And like, I started working with my first, they were like, oh, like, are you around to like work with like some of our artists? And I was like, yeah, for sure. Who, like, what's up? And they were like, how about Julia Michaels and Haley Steinfeld? And I was like, oh.

And also you were like a music stan. I was like, okay. And I started working with them and making a bunch of like animated content for them. And then I just kind of grew a lot with that team. I started doing a lot for Haley. Like I became her like little digital like Instagram story girl. And then she was gonna be at the Met Ball.

And Julie was like, oh, Kat actually is a photographer. Do you want her to shoot you? And Haley was like, great. Let's do it. And that was my first time shooting Haley Steinfeld or any celebrity of that caliber. Yeah. And it was because of animation. Yeah. Because I was her little... Digital girl. ...animate my Spotify canvas. That's crazy. Yeah. And then the pictures are awesome. Yeah.

They stand the test of time. And then how do you land from, how do you? So then we like grew and like, I started working with a lot of their like bigger artists and Ari was like always the like. You wanted to. She was like the goal. She was the goal. And I started like, they started to like pitch me to like make like

Instagram stories because that's obviously like how it starts and they were like looking for like one swipe up asset for like thank you next like thank you next had just come out and I was like this

this has to be the best thing I've ever made in my entire life. I will not sleep for four days and I will make one Instagram. So I bought, and this is like 15 seconds. Yeah. That will represent your whole life. Entire life. Yeah. In front of Ariana Grande. I was like, this has to be gold. And I remember I was staying with Chris and I was, I came to visit LA and I was like printing things and like gripping things and like scanning and like,

And it ended up being this like asset. And that was like the first thing that she ever posted of mine. But how do you go from, I guess it's the same kind of thing with Haley, right? But like, how do you go from being someone's like digital, creating something like that to literally being in front of them, taking their picture? Uh,

I did a lot of animations. That was my first thing. And then they were like, oh, let's get that girl Kat to do it. And I was like, let's get that girl Kat to do it. I will do it. I will do it. That was the first thing. And then I think I worked. The next thing after that was Boyfriend. A single that she had.

And I made a lyric video for it. And then it just kind of grew. Like, it was like, she needs, like, merch ideas. And she needs, like, everything that was, like, little digital things. And then when Positions was coming out, I did a lot of the digital for that. So, like, the canvases, the lyric videos, the, like, teasers. And then...

That was like, I was like, my name was in there a lot. It was like, Kat did this, Kat did this, Kat did this. And then after Positions came out, her manager was like, hey, we're looking for a BTS photographer for 3435 remix video. He was like, I saw that you also shoot artists on your Instagram. Like, would you want to shoot BTS? And I was like, please. Fuck. Yes.

Absolutely. Yes. And that was the first time that I shot her. She is the most brilliant, brilliant, brilliant person I've ever met, ever. And I mean that from like the deepest parts of my soul. And that's also what, 2020? That was 2020. That was during COVID. And I had moved from Texas to... L.A.? L.A., yeah.

Crazy. Crazy. So crazy. It was like LA changes lives. I mean, you do have to be here sometimes. I know. Yeah, bi-coastal queen. But... I love New York. No. Move back, please. How did you bring me into shooting Ariana?

The fans want to know. The fans need to know. We were on our way to another... Kenzie. Kenzie, yeah. Another music video that I brought you on to. Yes. I was getting ready to shoot. This was my first music video. Your directorial debut. Director girl. They were like, I think we might need a BTS photographer if you're going to be directing it. And I was like...

okay, let me ask what the tea is. And I was like, well, my best friend Shannon is usually the person I bring. And then I sent her, I was like, can you send me some of your stuff? And then she was like, great, hired. She said, cool, okay. No, I remember too, because we were in the car. You were driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat and you literally went, no way. But I was just like, smiled at you and you're like,

I was like, buckle up. Like, should you do it? And I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, oh my God, obviously I would love to do it. And then we went to Barcelona. And then we had like the best trip. And then I went nonverbal. Which we should talk about this because we had the best and worst trip ever. And we can segue now from work stuff into love. Which I do have to say, you slayed that. Slayed what? The BTS photos. Oh, thank you so much. And the last BTS shoot we did, it became the cover. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that's really important and cool. Yeah. So thank you, Kat. Kat's brought me on to work a few times now and it's so nice. Most like photo stuff I've done in the last few years has all been through working with you. Like Kenzie, random stuff. What else have I done? I guess I like helped you with Amelia Moore stuff, but nothing really crazy. But yeah.

What a jump from like just like me helping you hold a light to then you being like, can you take the pictures? I'm like, yeah, I guess. I fucking hope I know what I'm doing. But that was such a great experience. That trip too was such a fun experience. We went to London and then Kat was like, Kat was going through a breakup. I was going through a very, very. Kind of like your first major heartbreak. It was my first major heartbreak.

heartbreak. You broke up on my birthday. Thanks for that. Girl. At my birthday party. Okay, it wasn't on your birthday party. It was at your birthday party. At my birthday party. But, but, it was that on your birthday? No. That birthday party was, I think, in April. It was like a week later, I think. But can we talk about how you broke up

On my birthday party? Yeah. At my birthday party? Yeah. Well, all day Kat's at my birthday party with her ex-girlfriend. They're not talking to each other at all. And I keep going up to Kat being like, everything okay? And she's like, no, it doesn't seem like it is.

And I was like, yes, not giving good for sure. Leaves my birthday party. She's like, I'm going to go. We're just going to go to Air One. Everyone was like, don't leave. Don't leave. And I was like, I'm coming back. I'm coming right back. I'm just going to go get some Air One and then I'll be right back. Go to Air One, break up. We didn't break up at Air One. We walked out and I turned to her and I was like, all right, but we just cannot break up at Air One. That's insane. And she was like,

Okay. Crazy. And then you went home because you lived together and you broke up. Yeah. And it was the deepest heartbreak I've ever gone through ever. It was terrible for you and anyone around who had to touch it because it was so sad and bad. But then we ended up going to London. We were shooting that thing. Kat's still like kind of in like the bad parts of the breakup where you're like sad.

So you're like, can we go on a trip? And our other friend who we're traveling with had to go to a wedding, so she couldn't come with us. But I was like, yeah, I guess I could go. Where do you want to go? And then I hit up my friends who live in Spain. I'm like, what's going on? Like, where are you guys at? And they were like, oh, it's Madrid Pride this weekend. Do you guys want to come? You can come on a float.

So we were like, I looked at Kat, I'm like, are we going to Pride? My little Spanish speaker. Yes, we're going to Pride. Didn't know she was going to be zero help with the Spanish speaking. But we went to Pride. We got on this float. They told us before we get on the float that we have to wear one color, like monochromatic outfits. We're in Spain. We have no... That was like exactly, I feel like a year ago. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like I just sent you those photos being like happy one year it literally was like a week ago the only monochromatic color me and Kat can do is black not today, today I'm colorful but monochromatic and Kat had to be purple and I had to be blue

And our outfits were bad. I want to say that we ate. We looked, but we ate bad. Really not. Yeah. I ate a blueberry and you ate a grape. We looked like insane. It was really bad. We went to an H&M and like bought, was it H&M or something like that? The Spanish version of that. We looked really bad. Then we got into a fight. We did get into our, I think maybe second fight. Not that night, but in Spain. In Spain.

Barcelona? I don't know where we were. In Barcelona. In Barcelona. Because it was like, it was our second to last night. Yeah. After Madrid. And we, well, that trip was rough because you were so sad. So like, we would go out and get drinks and then you would just like start crying. And I would be like, it's, I totally feel you, girl. This is terrible. And then we were also working. Like you were editing and I was like helping you edit. And then I was like, yeah, we got into a little, I said something mean to Kat. Yeah.

You want to tell them? Do you want to?

Okay, I will tell them because also remember when we did, we made a TikTok together and it was like, who's the meanest? And it was me, you and Vanessa and Shannon maybe that did it together. And you guys all pointed at me and then all the comments were like, Shannon's not the sweet girl I thought she was. The only time I look at the camera, Shannon's the nicest person I've ever met in my entire life. I would die for her. Okay, first of all, I was the closest to all of you.

Yeah, pretty much. Unless I think Shannon was between Vanessa and I. I had just met Vanessa and Shannon. Yeah. So like obviously you're going to point at me, but also this was a mean thing that I did. Basically Kat was having to work a lot while we were on the trip. And I was like, Kat, you wanted to go on a trip. Like turn your phone off. Okay. Another thing that we should discuss is like, it's very hard to have a work life balance when your work life is,

Something that you very, very deeply enjoy. A total grit. I was like heart eyes. This is like, I was like all I could think about. It's like all I wanted to do. I just wanted to edit the video. I just wanted to work on the thing. Like I was just like so like. Yeah. It was like obviously work, but like.

I was like, I don't care that I'm in Barcelona. I want to fucking work on this video. Yeah, totally. So true. It's a great problem to have in some way. When your work is something you love and it's your passion, it's way harder to create boundaries around it. That part. And so basically this one night we went out and Kat was like, I have to go home. I have to go edit, whatever. And then I basically like called you out on, I was just like, how long has your work life balance been this long?

off because when you're friends with someone as an adult we hang out a lot when you're in LA when you live in LA but like obviously then there's a lot of time when we're both like working whatever I didn't know to the extreme of like how often you were like a not work so when you're on a trip with someone for a week I was seeing the intricacies of your life and I was like oh my god girl you have to have you need a little bit more boundaries with your life part of the work and

And that's with all of... And you were correct. Yeah. That was correct. Because I was also like, you're on a trip, you're in Spain and you're like, I need to go home to export this thing. And I'm like, do you though? Do you right now? Like, you don't have to. And you're like, no, I have to. I asked Kat, how long has your work-life balance been this off? And she was like, for a few years. And I said...

A disclaimer earlier in the day, in that day, like, I might have to cut this out. Rewind four hours. We were on this like rooftop and I was just like, we were just sitting there and I just like started crying because I was like so sad about my breakup. And I was like, it was bad. This was bad. And I said, yeah, I said, how long has your work-life balance been this off? And she said a few years. And then I said,

I feel like I probably would have broken up with you. Which is okay. Fair. It was so the timing, the delivery, all of it was not good. The only, okay. The main thing that was like very upsetting was like, that was not an issue in my relationship with us.

It was just like not. That was like. It wasn't even a problem. It was not a problem. She was like the most like. Work all the time. Of course girl. Do your thing. That was like not an issue. It was like a very supportive environment around that. So when you said that. Why did I do that? The one thing that I had going for me. It's like. It's just.

I'm literally going to have to edit this out. But I think that truly at the end of the day where I was coming from was like a place of concern for you. No, no, no. Yes, yes. And also I think, by the way, I think you were really diving into work way harder at that time too because you were heartbroken. Like you were working to an extreme where I was like, Kat, you have to put your phone down. Like you have to look. Kat, you have to.

return to your body yeah i literally was like look around like i was like let me dissociate we're literally like in barcelona on a rooftop bar the most beautiful view you've ever seen and cat's like and i was like cat you have to look at look at this and then she looked and then she cried okay it was a tough time it was a tough time but and that was that was

I have been known to sometimes give like bad feedback or harsh feedback. Like it doesn't, it was coming from love, but that was,

Not nice. That's all right. Anyway. And then we had a really good day the next day, and it was great. Totally. That trip was also enlightening for me in a time of my life and, like, my relationship life of realizing there was also something off in my balance of my life because I was there on that trip feeling very, like, oh, my God. A lot less stress. We go...

We go, we have like very linear lives. Like we were like going through breakups when we first met. And then we kind of like went through a second breakup. Then we both started dating. Mm hmm.

Same time. Yeah. Did the same thing. And then we both kind of broke up. You were a little bit later, but not far. And also, I almost started before you. Yeah. And then we both kind of started re-dating. At the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So are you dating, Katya? You're dating. How is it going? Also, we didn't even discuss this, but how do you identify? I'm a lesbian. Oh.

We love lesbians. You just asked me this yesterday. I know. Are men off the table? No, you were like, by you dating this person, are you like in the clear? Does she make you feel like a lesbian? And I was like,

Well, yes. I am lesbian. I am lesbian. Well, because I dated men. We have to check in every once in a while. And also, sexuality is fluid. You're right. People can feel one way one day and one way the next. And all of that is fine. But yeah, I was like, how are you feeling today? Lesbian. Lesbian. Lesbian. And you're dating?

Yes. Girls. A girl. One. One girl. Exclusively. And you're also bi-coastal right now. So you're dating in New York. Yes. Yeah. But you also lived in New York for a long time. Yeah, I missed it. How does it feel like being bi-coastal dating someone who lives in one of those cities? It's definitely, I feel biased.

Like, I will be in New York, period. Yeah. I will return to New York. Because the person you want to be with is there. Correct. Okay, well, I just want to remind you that I am here. I know. Yes. I know. Well, yes. So you're going to have to come back. Well, yes. Okay, little lesbian. How did you come out? When? When did you come out? I came out when I was 25? 26? 26?

Yeah. I didn't come out until COVID, like, actually. But to myself, I came out when I was, like, 25. Which is still... Really late. Yeah. And dated men exclusively. Yeah. And didn't even think about girls. Did you have your first girlfriend at 25? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like a lot of women have that experience. Do they? That makes me feel nice. Yeah. I feel like a lot, like... I'm like, I'm a late bloomer. I'm broken. And like... No, I think it comes down to... A lot of that comes down to...

what is it called um oh my god how heteronormativity is like so ingrained in us i can't think of the word like a lot of women especially because of the way that we like are raised in society and the way that we're like told like sex should feel and like a lot of girls talk about sex and like straight girls will be like i don't really like having sex with my boyfriend that much so like a lot of like lesbians live in society hearing those things and being like oh

That's normal. It's normal that I'm not obsessed with sleeping with my boyfriend. It's normal that I have like really intense friendships with women. Like it's normal that I want to cuddle with my girlfriends, you know? Like we're allowed to have all those things and all those things can exist in a world where you're straight. So you can go a lot longer without being like, fuck. When I was in college, I lived with someone. Yeah. I was like a random roommate with someone. Yeah.

For a year. And we became obsessed with each other. A girl. And I was like obsessed. We were obsessed with each other. All we wanted to do was like be with each other, but we were straight. Didn't you sleep in the same bed? And then we moved in. We, after the dorms, it was like random, random roommate. We moved out of the dorms into an apartment together. Mm-hmm.

Where like I got an apartment and then she like ended up moving in and we shared a bed for a year and we slept in the same bed and cuddled and held hands and spent Valentine's Day together and like wrote each other like love letters. But we were straight. Yeah. And also you probably could go hang out with your other friends and be like, yeah, we sleep in the same bed. And people are like.

Sure. If two men were doing that, basically, is what I'm saying, people would be like, what the fuck? You're gay. But girls, because of the society we live in. Which makes it even more confusing. Yeah. Like, oh, no, it's fine. It's normal. I'm fine. I'm not gay. I don't like her like that. I'm not fucking gay. No. Like, I'm a lesbian. Yeah. Yeah, that is crazy. But you didn't come out to yourself till you're 25? Yeah. Was that when you had your first girlfriend? Yeah.

Yes. And then you got your second girlfriend at 26? The math isn't mathing, is it? The math is not mathing. I don't know. But it is kind of. When was I? Whenever 2020 was. I don't know how old I was. You'll turn 30 this year. I will turn 30 this year. Forbes, you have a second. We have a few days. Forbes. Forbes.

You have very little time. I came out during COVID. I was, I moved to Texas and I was living with my parents and I was obsessed with this girl. And I was like, we were like on the phone all the time. And obviously like my mom, I feel like new. And one day I was like, mom, I'm a lesbian and she's coming. So.

as a soundbite mom i'm a lesbian and she's coming she's coming what yeah that is you're welcome that is a soundbite oh my god and what did your mom say she was like okay like chill like so chill yeah and then i was like but how will i tell dad and she was like i don't understand why you have to tell him anything just like live your life and like call it a day and i was like and that's what we did anya would say that should we talk about sex

What do you want to know? Like, are you ready for that? No, no. It's hard because I know you so well that I'm like, I don't want to like put you on blast for stuff. Have you always enjoyed sex? What a segue. Uh, no. No. No. No.

The term demisexual is new that I just learned after my breakup that I didn't realize was a thing. Someone was talking about it and I was like, oh, I understand that. I feel like I'm way more connected to a person if I'm emotionally connected to them.

which is like a new thing that I'm learning. Can you define demisexual? Do you know the actual definition? Should I Google it? Yeah, why don't you Google it? Demisexuality is a sexual orientation that describes people who only feel sexual attraction to someone after forming a strong emotional bond with them. This is different from other sexual orientations, which may focus on who a person is attracted to, while demisexuality focuses on when.

Bingo. We got a winner. So do you feel like, yeah, you obviously relate to that and that correlates to your enjoyment of sex? Yeah. I've also like never like...

I'm like, I don't think I've ever had one. No, I've never had a one night stand. I've never like randomly like hooked up with someone and like just like the only people that I've like fucked have been like my partners. Yeah. I can't believe you just said fucked. Demisexual. Yeah. That makes sense. I feel like there's a part of me that may also be almost demisexual.

I think I'm more sexual than that. Like I can definitely hook up with people. My entire breakup, you were like, just make out with someone. Okay, but make out. I could make out with anyone anytime. I was like. If I'm single, I could make out with anyone anytime. Sex is like more intense for me too. But, and I think the thing for me is like the enjoyment of sex. I definitely enjoy sex more if I like someone. Yeah. But I guess a lot of people might feel that way.

I feel like maybe being demisexual means you also wouldn't have the sex at all. Yeah. Like I literally like it. It wouldn't happen. Yeah. No. Yeah. Like my brain like will be shut down. Yeah. Like I'm like, OK. OK. All right. How does Quinn react when you have sex? My beautiful cherub. God's gift. She's literally sleeping. Come here, baby. Quinn is the biggest cock block.

I've ever known in my entire life. What's your problem? What happens when you sleep with someone and Quinn's around? She like loves to scream. She loves to scream. But we have like a whole like... You have a setup now. We have a setup now. Yeah, and your apartment is a loft. So she can't get to you. She cannot get to me now. Which is insane. Yeah, but we have like these...

What's the, what's the, can you run me through what you have to do if you want to hook up with someone? No, I can't. Cause it's like so pathetic. No, I need you to please. I know you have treats. We, we do have treats. Do we have, she's like, we're talking about this. Do we have treats? Do we have sex treats? Yeah.

I can't. So you give her a treat. You go up in the loft. You wish for the best. And then we hope for the best, yeah. Yeah. She like really barks loud. She's like the whole time. Like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah. It's like a concerned bark. Okay. I wonder if people also like deal with this. And if they do, I'd love to know how y'all handle this. What are you doing with your pets when you have sex? I can't.

Lock her up She'll just Still scream Scream But from Also you're in a New York apartment Yeah It's not like You can get that far away from her She's literally Yeah and it's like so hard Cause look at her It's like okay You can hang out The loft must I don't have to do it The loft has to be so nice Compared to

Are you kidding right now? We don't have to have sex. She's so relaxed. Okay, well, the good thing is we've already been talking for an hour and 15 minutes, so we don't have to keep going. Wow. Do you feel good? Do you feel good? I feel great. Do you feel like I did a fine job? You did such a good job, Kat. Was I weird? You were not weird. I was, and that's all right. You were weird in the way that you are weird, and that is good. And I was weird in the way that I am weird. And we are weird in the weird ways. Together. In the weird ways that we are weird. No.

And thank God we're friends. Say yes. Be in your yes era. Yes era. Because you might be friends with Shannon Beveridge. You might be friends with Katya Temkin. Okay, is there anything you want to tell the people? Do you have anything coming up? I'm turning 30. Kat's... Oh my God. This month. This month? In like a few days. A week? Both sides. Why am I sighing? Kat will be 30 soon. Kat also has an Instagram, a TikTok.

Do you have a YouTube channel? No, thank you. No. Don't even try to find her YouTube channel. It doesn't exist. But she has an Instagram, a TikTok, and any social platform or her website will be in the bio below. You should follow her. Check out all the cool work she's doing with Ariana Grande. Who else? Christina Aguilera. Aw, Xtina. I love her. Xtina. I wish you could spill so much tea. Have you guys ever heard of an NDA? No.

Jonas Brothers, Christina Aguilera, Zara Larson, Tate McRae, Noah. Noah Khan. Noah Khan. My baby. Drake, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, Julia Michaels, Hailee Steinfeld, Amelia Moore. Love her. Rene Rapp. Rene Rapp. Jojo Siwa. Oh my God. Rene Rapp. Jojo Siwa. Meghan Trainor. Jamie Lynn Spears.

Normani. Oh my god, Lauren Huregi. Lauren Huregi. Liam Payne. Liam Payne. You did do a lyric video for Len and Stella with Liam Payne and Len and Stella. You don't even remember what you've done anymore. It's actually scaring me. I think you're talking, I think you're thinking about Madison Beer. You did do that. I did do Madison Beer. Madison Beer. We gotta add her to the list. Madison Beer. Okay.

Wait, I swear to God, you did. Maybe you're thinking, no, I think you're thinking of that Madison Beer song that we worked on together with your photos in it. No, I remember that. This. You did this. You did this. You did this.

Oh my God, you have lost your mind. You have lost your mind. You've worked with too many people. That was like the hardest video that I've ever made in my entire life. I cut out every frame. And you don't remember it. That's psycho. You blacked it out. You're like, fuck that. I made a video. I animated a video and then I exported the video in JPEGs and then I printed out those JPEGs.

And then I cut them out and then I photographed them. Do you feel like there was an easier way to do what you did now? I think it's like self-abuse. Okay, you guys, check out all of Kat's work below. I love you, Kat. Thank you for doing this. I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. You popped my podcast pussy. Okay. Thanks for watching.